Hello, Hello, what's your name?
I'm Olivia. Is this Lyle?
This is Lyle? What's going on? Olivia?
Has life? Life is done? Kind of ship right now, but you know, it's my day off and I've just been chilling, so I can't really complain too much tell you.
Sorry, Oh I'm okay. Why has it been ship?
Dating men is hard? And no man, no man that I've met is down for the sexual things that I want to do in the little block.
But we can we can certainly talk about that. We can certainly talk about that. That's what you would rather talk about. It's up to you.
No, I don't know.
Sorry, I genuinely just feel so call off guard.
I called you like.
I don't even know how many times.
Damn are you? Are you crying right now? Are you sick?
No?
I'm done. I'm done crying.
I just.
Were crying. Okay were you crying before you called?
Yeah?
Okay, yeah, okay, all right? So, so what's going on with these uh these men?
I am into pegging and I just moved down to the valley from Utah and I have been having such a hard time like finding a guy who isn't just automatically like, oh, no, what the fuck, Like that's that's gay bla blah blah blah.
I would never.
And it's just been annoying and I don't understand why, like at least the men down down here just are open to that, or like I don't know where to find men that are.
Open to that.
Where have you been looking for these men?
Well, I mean I've just been on the basic dating apps.
Well, if you're you're going to get the basic men, well.
I tried like set Life, and that's creepy and they're scary kind of and like I don't they're just like too too much, like oh you want to peg me, you could diss me too, And I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, w wholla, hunt the brakes. I just want to be on top a little bit, you know.
Mm hmm.
So you've tried. So you've tried. So you've tried fet Life. What about that Field Field. I think it's like an F E L E L D. I've never been on it, but I have friends who've talked about it as like a like a kink kind of a dating app.
Hmm, yeah, I'll try it. The only success I've had was on speaking with like the sugar daddies, but that's not really I'm looking for. I don't know. I guess like a I'm not a partner like a boyfriend or whatever, but kind of like a more reliable fuck with buddy that because like, I'm so tired of trying to meet new people every time. I just want to, you know,
but then again it's so hard. Like I met guy and he was super cool and he literally talked about like being a stuff on Tinder, and I went to his place and he had all this like navy stuff and like he was in the Navy, and I made them the joke and I was like, oh, is that why you're down to be picked because you're in the navy? And he kicked me out.
So that was on me trying to no, no, no, no, no, that that's that's so lame. What the fuck?
I kind of hit a little too close to home, I guess why.
First of all. First of all, I mean, I wait, hold on, were you were you making a joke insulting the navy or were you making like a dad joke of like, oh, you're in the navy, that's why you like to be a sub like a submarine.
You know, I was insulting the Navy.
Oh okay, I thought, you're making a dad joke.
No, no, And I only say that because I was engaged to a man who has been in the Navy for the last twelve years, so I feel like I kind of can. But also that's a little out of pocket or whatever. He did not like it. He immediately he was tired, and I had to.
Go, what was your relationship like with the other navy guy? Was he also a sub.
Maybe a little bit like he was down to like do stuff in the shower and like he would like to get his ass fingered every once in a while, you know, like nothening him head and stuff. But that was really it. I loved him. I really was so serious about marrying him and starting a family, and we picked out a ring and all that. But he decided to sign another five year contract without talking to me
about it. And we had already made plans about like babies and just like settling down and him starting school. So I was like, yeah, I'm not going to start a marriage when he's just already lying on huge like decisions like that.
So when you're meeting the guys on like the regular dating apps, how how soon do you bring up the pegging conversation?
I mean not right away, probably like a second or third hangout type of thing, for sure. It's it's hard, Like sometimes I haven't even brought it up and I just could feel that he's not going to be down. And it's not like that huge of a deal, but I mean it is something like I want to like take turns, like going like topping each other. I think that's hot and that's something that I'm looking for. It just feels so weird to be like just go up and ask that, Like I don't know how to even start,
Like what do you think? How would you go about that?
Well? Well, I don't know. I use it. I think like on the I from my perspective, like if you're a woman on a dating app, like if you start talking about like if you're a guy on a dating app and you start talking about sex immediately, that's of course like, uh, you know, an immediate red flag, right. But I think if you're a woman on a dating app and you like put in your bio or something, I am looking for a man to peg, like obviously
it's gonna it's gonna all the people. It's you're you're right, it's going to attract all of the wrong type of people. I one hundred percent agree with you, but it but if you filter out all those people, you'll at least, like I think, with it, there'll be like a needle in a haystack pretty much right because of all the like weird people that that will attract at least one of them. You'll be like, all right, this person seems like a relatively normal human being.
That's fair. Yeah, that's a tactic, I guess. But I also don't want my space and like my name out there with like what if a co worker or like someone saw like I don't want that everyone to know that. I want pigment and like I'm looking for like masculine men like I. The man who got me into it is like very he's like a bodybuilder, bisexual, Greek goddess, sculpted type man who just likes being a switch. And now I feel like I can't there's no way to find that again. I don't know how.
You could attend bodybuilding competitions.
Bodybuilding is yeah, you know that's not a bad idea, A good h.
How did how did this well? How did you meet? How did you first meet this like bodybuilder guy.
It was during COVID up in Salt Lake, just on Tinder. He just happened to be one of the first few people I matched with when I moved up there, and he FACETI me right away and came and picked me up and was super cool and I ended up moving in with him really quick, and like we had a little poly relationship for a bit and it was fun and yeah, just tender, but tender down here in the valley is like, these men are weird, Like I don't know, maybe I'm just not matching with the right people.
What is it that you find so weird about them?
Every they're just like homophobic, Like they think that a woman having sex with the women is gay, even if it is.
Like, yeah, I was gonna say a woman having sex with a woman is definitely gay.
So they think, I don't know, maybe being pegged by a woman is quote unquote gay to some people, but like it still is like you're not having sex with the man, you're still like it is still heterosexual. I don't understand. And I guess people the men up in Utah are a little more open, open minded mm hmmm, and people down here.
Why as you move to the valley.
Family, My family's just been going through a lot of shit.
Mm hmm. How often are you like going on dates and stuff.
Lately, maybe like two or three a month. And I've been talking to a lot of people, but like I feel like they just always fizzle out over the you know, dms on apps or texts.
Mm hmmm.
So I don't know, it's I feel like my I'm trying too hard to find like a certain type of like it's hard to match. Like, yeah, I don't even know. I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I'm sorry, Gek, I feel like I'm being really bad conversational with right now.
No, I was going to say, well, you live in like, uh kind of a rural area, so you're not going to have a lot of you know. I mean, if you moved to to like if you were in like New York or LA or Chicago, you'd be able to find a guy that will let you peg him within seconds. But the Valley is not the best place to find that.
No, I'm yeah, I'm realizing that I might just go back to dating women because like I'm over it.
Mhm. I mean that's not such a horrible idea. Yeah, find a woman that I'll let you peg them.
Oh yeah, I have like five in my right now. It's just more of the challenge of and and like the it's just so hot to like top a a man, like a masculine man.
Well, look at it like this. It's uh, well look at look at look at it like this. It's uh, it's good to it's good to yearn I think I think it's good to have something that you're yearning for, because if you're yearning for nothing, you might as well be dead. So so so I almost think that you having this uh fantasy that one day you'll find a masculine man that will bend over and let you fuck him in the ass. It's almost it's almost a better thing for you to have than actually having it. You know,
it keeps you going, keeps you hunting. So look at it like that.
Yeah, I like that outlook, Thank you, Dick.
What's your name again?
Presley?
Presley? Presley? Is there anything else you want to say? It's the people of the computer.
Before we go, I love y'all, and stay freaky beautiful.
Thank you, Presley. I have a good night.
By you.
Hello, Hi, how are you good?
Is this Lyle?
It is? Who is this?
Oh? Hey man, I'm gonna go by David.
David. What's going on, David? How's your evening going?
My evening is going pretty good. I got called off of my part time job, so I have the evening to just show at home with my pet. You can hear her now. And I'm watching that new show with Tim Robinson, The Chair Company. Pretty good. How about you? How's your night going?
It's gone all right. I am recording my podcast. I'm thinking about my life too much. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm thinking about my life too much. I think life is better when I'm like I don't think I'm happiest when i'm thinking. I don't think anyone is happiest when they're.
Why do you think that?
Well, because I think life is meant to be like lived and experienced and like you're you're supposed to be around people, and you're supposed to be doing things that get you out of your brain. And I think certain things, in certain situations and environments and whatnot, they put you back into your brain. And that's not good. That's why, I mean, that's why I get addicted to things. That's why like fucking sex and porn and all that STUFFE
is so addictive. That's why alcohol is addictive. That's why totally risky behavior is addictive. You know, just just anything to anything to take you away from uh. I mean, you know there's like distractions. Yeah, there's some people who say things like, oh, well, it's all I'm a fan of good distractions, because there's some people who say shit like, well, if you have any distractions, you're taking yourself away from being able to think about your own life, which is bad.
But I think all of I mean, isn't everything. Just like everything is either some means of survival or some means of taking you out of your own brain. And it's just that you you ideally are doing things to take you out of your own brain that are healthy and not bad in a real world. But you're always gonna do the easiest thing, and the easiest thing is usually as something fucking bad.
So oh man, yeah, we are. We are pretty inclined to gravitude to where it's what makes things just a little bit easier in our day to day for sure. Yeah, I've I found like this year in particular, it has been pretty monumental for myself in terms of like kind of making like hard decisions. And I got to say, like where I'm at right now, Like I feel really good about myself and where I'm at, and like I feel like super inspired to just keep dealing with other changes.
Like I quit drinking back in February for good. So that was huge, and it's had monumental effects on my life and the people around me, the people closest to me, you know, work, my health, you know, and being inspired by that like pushed me to like exercise more, eat healthier. And then like it almost felt like you know, like uh, you know when you push over like dominant.
Yeah.
And then like after that, I started looking at other things in my life, like, dude, it's so crazy, like quitting alcohol, Like I I also go to therapy, So I've been talking with her like weekly about like all this stuff like over this whole year, and like I found that like I was probably using alcohol to like cover up like these pretty obvious like ADHD symptoms, and I feel like I was using it to like kind
of like quiet my mind. And I felt like I could only like socialize when I was drinking, and it just created this like problem, this problem for me that I was hard to like face, but like because I didn't think that was a huge deal, like because I was still functional, but like I wasn't doing the things that I wanted to do. And once I quit doing that, like I started realizing, oh, maybe maybe I have some some some things I need to address, like with my mind.
So I set up a screening for ADHD through therapy that I got put on a waiting list, So it's going to be in like a month or so. But you know, it's things that I'm getting, the things that I wouldn't have done had I not like done this initial thing. And since then, like I quit vaping, which is big, and then you know, I took my first like tolerance break from THHC in years, like since I first started smoking, like sixteen years ago, dude.
Like.
You know, and just understanding like how how that makes me feel different? You know, And the other thing just recently, Man, I just had listened to your podcast the other day when you were talking to somebody. I think the topic was like about like you know, just getting sucked into like the algorithms and the media. And I quit. I didn't really use social media that much to begin with. Like I never got TikTok. I always thought that stuff. I always thought it was so cringe. And I never bothered
with Twitter either. It always just seemed weird that you would just quit all your thoughts out like that. But I got into like Instagram and that was like my poison and read it too. And then I I got Instagram off of my phone, moved it to my iPad, my shitty iPad that like freezes all the time, so I only check it here and there, and then I
before I like fully deleted read it. I would just periodically delete it from my phone and then I'd find myself on the toilet board and so I had downloaded again and I hadn't been on it for a while, and then I'd log into it and then this, oh my god, just all this stress just flooding back to me.
And.
Then I and then it would be like fifteen minutes of that, I turn it off and delete the app and get back to just like my world, but like remembering, just like how I was just so consumed with that, Like from the moment I waked, I woke up, check read it, check read it. Throughout the day all the way into the evening and it's just pumping out like so much stress and controversy, and it just wasn't good
for me. But like, just like recently, I like posted like how fascist should die and then I got a three day ban so I was like fuck this and
deleted it, and I feel really good since then. But like something I've been talking about with my therapist has just been like you know, and I talk with my buddy all the time about like how stressful like the way of the world feels like on a day to day basis, right, And it's like, you know, like you said, like it things have been happening all the time, and things always have been and things always will whether and just now we have these devices that make us aware
of like everything at every corner of the globe at all hours of the day, and so it's just like I don't think we're built to handle that. And so I feel so much better just tuning out of it, because like no matter what, you know, like you know, I'm not going to change anything, Like I mean, I'm going to change. I'm going to change what I can, and what I can is in like my you know, my general orbit, and so like when I just focus on like my world, then like it's a lot more
like manageable. And I feel like, you know, if people kind of tune out a bit here and there, you know, it's it's like a huge breath of fresh air. I don't know, like if you've tried like doing that like recently, like I don't, I only follow you like here and there on like the podcast, but like if you have like times where you just like completely disconnect and just like just do human things.
It's funny that you say that because I've been I've been procrastinating on it a little bit, but I want to fully disconnect from technology. I think my problem is I don't right now, like I don't. I can't think of anything that I well, I guess I can't. Like there, I was going to say, like I couldn't think of anything more pressing that I can do with that time, but I totally can. I mean, yeah, so many things like subtly suck up my time.
Well, I mean I mean, like you initially like mentioned like you know, not being able to like sit in your thoughts, and like I gotta say, you know, like one of the other things that like you know has been very, very like monumental. This year has been like a lot of times sitting in my thoughts, like I live, I live a pretty like kind of I'm pretty like
by myself all the time. And that's like by design, Like I work a lot, and the friends that like I feel closest to they live in like another city, so I only set times to see them here and there. So it's really just like me and like my close family here and there, and like my cat. But like I've had like you know, I like, you know, coming
off of quitting drinking. Yeah, like the views of myself were just so low, Like I just did not think really positively of myself because I just wasn't doing good things for myself for so long and through like therapy and just like moments just sitting at home by myself, just like literally just asking myself, like why don't you like yourself? Like why don't you know just start there and then just trying to like backtrack and figure this stuff out and then you know, eventually just get to like,
you know, why don't you love yourself? And just recently I went on a trip with my best bud out to the bad Lands in South Dakota and just had a completely like life changing experience. You know. It was set like therapy out there with him, just like out in nature, just connecting, and we did we did bring some mushrooms, so that definitely helped. Like going on these
hikes and like eating mushians out there. It just felt like a really really crazy experience, like like we were opening up our minds and also like connecting with the earth at the same time. But like you know, just the whole time, just getting really deep into the headspace.
And I remember like there was this moment out there when I was like walking out into like these like sunpatched like portions of the bad Lands on this hike, you know, before you enter these like prayer, these rolling prairies and just taking this like top moment like kind of sit there and like admire like absolutely everything about what's around me, and like right of you know, looking at the mountains and the horizon all the way down to the rocks on the ground, like everything had had
a way like it, how do I put it, Everything stood out amongst each other in such an odd way, like everything was just contrasting one another in such an obscure fashion, like I'd never seen, and being out there, I almost saw myself like as like one of those things that just kind of stood out and it made it shifted my perspective of myself into a way where you know, I kind of thought, you know, it's okay to just be like weird and unique and whatever, and
it's okay to like express yourself. And I've hide that and I was just out there just getting like deep in my head and like coming out of that like trip, like I ended up finally being able to tell myself that I love myself. And you know, I also didn't have read it the entire time, so I was just like Kain. I was just immersed now no phone, just out there with my bud, listen to music, going on hikes,
and it just was really really really rewarding. And I feel like I need more of that stuff, like definitely protect our parks.
Yeah, I yeah, I've been saying that I want to do that for a while, Like get off of all social media and get off of like like dating apps, and get off of like all these fucking things. They just take up little bits of time and attention and whatnot. And yeah, I need to do that. I have a friend, well you know, I mean he's like he was also on a bit of a technology fast and he seems a lot more grounded as a results, And I feel
like I feel like I could get there. I feel like I always feel like I never have enough time or enough energy to tackle the things that I really want to tackle. But there always seems to be enough time and energy to do random crap. You know, it's so easy to get distracted.
Yeah, it's all these distractions, man. I mean, I gotta say one of the things that really helped like me initially was just like finding an old piece of like junk hardware. Like I have this old iPad and I just like moved move my shit there, so at least getting it off your phone, you know, and put it onto a device that like you can still access it's still available, but you know, just at home, and it may be a little clunky, so you might get frustrated with it, so you'll put it down and maybe do
something else. I don't know, but like, you know, just like you said the other day, like this stuff is manufactured like to buy design to like frustrate us and like divide us and distract us. And you know, one of the things that I thought was like really interesting, like coming out of like one of these hikes out in the bad Lands. My buddy and I stopped at this restaurant out in Rapid City and we sat down for some uh for some chicken alfredo at the at
the bar. And we're sitting there and then over to our right, a few chairs down there was just this, uh there's this older couple that was chatting it up with all the older folks around them, and they were very clearly like jumpers, like you know, they're like the stuff that was coming out of their mouth was just like kind of absurd, but like, you know, they they turned over to us, and I look Hispanic and my buddy, you know, he doesn't look like keeps from around there either,
and you know, they just we struck up a conversation and just shot the We just shot the shit. And you know it was like, you know, when you remove that like element, you know, it's a lot easier to
come together. I feel like like I feel like, have you ever seen this this hilarious video of like these two dogs just like going at it, like and there's this fence and and and they're like going at each other, like with the fence in the way, and then the guy moves the fence aside, and suddenly the dogs are just like, you know, like whatever, you know, and then he puts the fence back, and then they're going at
it again. And I feel like that fence is really like the algorithm, dude, and it's we just gotta find a way to at least recognize it for what it is and figure out a way to just you know, not let it get the better of us, you know. And I'm only touching on a lot of things.
It's so I was thinking about this the other day, Like I talked to so many people on this podcast, and you know, in doing like the live shows and in doing you know, on the street and stuff, and like everyone that I've talked to from doing this, like ninety nine point nine ninety nine percent of people are like cordial and like, you know, easy to talk to and like like they're all like good experiences. Right. But
then I see comments. I see comments on like Instagram right, and on like spy and on YouTube where people are like stupid and hostile and judge and all these different things, and I'm like and also just living my life I meet people out and about, and I'm like, theoretically, these are the same people, So like, what the fuck is it that is making people so like.
Dude, I don't know, but like, you know, you remember you remember South Park that one season that focused on like Kyle's dad is skankant. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what this.
Is, dude.
And it's and it's but but there's a part of it where it's like, you know, I I've never felt like, you know, like some inclination to like act like a penis online, you know, like behind behind like some like mask. But so many people feel like so I don't know, like emboldened to just be a penis online and and I don't get it. And and I'm sure like if if it was like those to their wives or their their bosses or their children or whatever, I'm sure they'd
be fucking embarrassed. But like what, like, I don't know, there's there's some other part of it too, Like it's something I don't understand, Like I don't surround myself with people that act like that, but like it's it's it's odd, it's odd behavior.
Mm hm.
So okay, now that you're enlightened, in your life? What do you what do you do?
I wouldn't say like I'm enlightened, I just know. I just would say I feel I feel more, I feel better.
So what do you What does your day to day look like? Now?
Oh well, I've got so my main job, I work in a research lab and I uh, I help take care of the mice. So that's like basic, like just seven does to be thirty every day. And then I had a part time job where I'm a server at a restaurant. But now that the season's over, that's a little bit more sparse. So I mean before I was doing like sixty seventy hours a week, but now it's like pretty pretty open here and there. I'll do some landscaping stuff with my brother's dad with my plants around
the city. But right now I'm just kind of cooling it and trying to pinch the pennies until it gets warmer again. I do have a few trips lined up. I'm going to see my grandmother in Virginia for her birthday this weekend, and I'm going to Washington Island with my buddies next week, and then going to see my cousin in Minneapolis. The week after that, So I'm getting out there moving around.
Yeah that all sounds great.
Yeah, what about you or do you have any big, big trips coming up? Saw, I think I saw something really you went somewhere very interesting recently.
Yeah, yeah, it was in Iraq. I still haven't I still haven't finished the uh the video for that, but that'll I'm hoping to post that video before November ends.
So can I ask like what prompted like that? That's such an interesting like choice of location, Like what prompted you to want to go out there?
Oh it's kind of bored.
Okay, Yeah, I love that. Just bored in Iraq?
Yeah, that is what happens, is like I'm just I'm so I'm just like restless and I have to do I feel and I have this thing in my gut where it's like I have to do grand exciting things with my life or else I just feel like I'm dying. It's it's it's just a thing I've always had. It's the thing I've always had and it and it bites me in the fucking tits. But it's just a thing
I have. And so often like the easiest, this is the most the most logistically simple way to achieve that is to travel to places, because you know, all you have to do yes, like like for example, right, like if you like, if I want to do a big, grand, cool thing and I have to choose between like writing a book or traveling to Iraq, it's gonna be easier to like, I can do the emotional I can do like the emotional whatever it is of like going on that adventure way way more than I can do the
the work of like sitting alone in a room trying to write just get restless. It's adhd.
Yeah.
I like that ship, you know. I mean also I like doing things that like uh, you know, I getting to go there and like connect with people and like see the place and you know it's it was. It was really cool. I don't know if I have like other I have other places I want to go. I don't know if I have other like big crazy adventures. But yeah, and then I'm going to Canada November sixth. I'm doing a show November sixth, I'm doing a show in Edmonton at Macewell.
Then on then on the east or west or side of Canada. I forget.
I want to say. It's in the middle, right right in.
The middle for sure. Okay. Nice. You know, like, if I ever get myself at the Canada with something I've always wanted to do is take their their train from coast to coast. That sounds sounds like a lot of fun. I'm trying to trying to do an Amtrak ride from where I'm at out out to Alway sometime soon and rent like a room met for like the forty six hours you're on it. But that's a little a little little pricey at the moment.
David, it was nice talking to you about life. This was this felt like a classic heady talking about life thing. I feel like, yeah, you've inspired me to take a little bit of a chill pill perhaps.
Even if it's just for a few days, Like it just feels good to just like just you know, just sitn't stare at a wall or something. David, don't don't think.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Yeah, I guess drink water, call your mom and say some gratitudes in the mornings.
Beautiful. Thank you very much for calling, David.
Take care, have a great day.
YouTube. Bye, Hello, what's up? How you doing? How's life is this?
Lyle?
This is who is this? Who is this? Who is this?
I said, my name is Brooke. It's a fake name, but it's Brooke.
How's life going, Brooke?
Let's see it's okay. I I don't know if I should like it's kind of gross, but I just got a yeast infection for the first time, and I don't know. Yeah, I don't. I've never experienced this and I have to go to work in like an hour. The shit sucks.
U What is what are the symptoms of the yeast infection?
It's gross. It's like the classics, like you know, discharge. I don't know if you know much about that?
Tell me. I mean, I mean, uh, like, are there can you wear? Like put on a tampon and it makes it not happen, It makes it happen less.
That would be such an easy solution. I wish there is like an over the counter medication that I bought today, so got to try that out. But you have to. Yeah, it's kind of like a tampon. You put medication in your vagina and you like sleep with that in and it goes away in like three days. But yeah, for next three days, I'm gonna be like in pains, but I'm really not trying to focus on that, trying to stay positive.
Okay, maybe we could talk about something else and it'll distract you from the East infection.
Yeah.
Actually, let's see, I'm moving and let's see like ten days to a mountain town. It's a mountaintown in Colorado. It's a ski town, and I'm stoked. Wow, Okay, this Sorry, we talked like a long time ago, so it's just like so funny to be talking to you again. We talked like three years ago about some stupid shit, but I'm a changed woman and I'm an adult now. I feel like the last time I called you, I think
I was like inebriated. I don't remember exactly what we talked about, but it's good to talk to you again.
Okay, I'm glad that you're doing better. What's changed in your life since then?
Let's see, I graduated college, got a corporate ass dumb ass jobs for I had that job for like seven months and it was a really good paying job, like within my industry that I studied, and then like I fucking hated it.
Oh.
I actually think I texted you about this, but I think this is something I wanted to talk about with you.
Yeah, that.
Like industry. I was a graphic designer for an environmental engineering firm, and graphic design is like that's what I studied in school, and it's just turned into this like horrible thing I hate. Like I quit the corporate job, I got started freelancing. I got some gigs within the music industry, which was super exciting and fun at first. Then like as time went on, I'm realizing how fucked
up the music industry is, and like everybody is. It's just all fucked up, and it's made me despise graphic design. And that's part of the reason why I'm moving to Steamboat is because or probably shouldn't have disclosed the area where I'm moving, but moving to a ski town because yeah, I'm pretty sick of trying to do the grind, the grind mindset and like the whole I don't know, graphic design is just stupid. I'm over it. I fucking hate it.
It's like, yeah, I feel like I've been on every single side of it, like publication to illustration to branding to merchandise design, Like I've done so much in the past three years since I graduated college and and yeah, I guess I'm just trying to escape and try something new, move to a ski town, see how that works out.
Okay, okay, okay, what do you What are your plans in the ski toown? Are you gonna get an the job?
Yeah? I have. So I quit doing design full time eight months ago, and I was doing it part time throughout this summer, but I just took my last project last month. I'm swearing off any freelance. So in that meantime, I've had like a part time restaurant job serving tables, and so I'll be doing that up at this at the ski town and then working part time at the resort as well. And I've got those locked in, So I'm stoked about that.
That's pretty sweet. That sounds like a nice fun job.
Like serving at a restaurant.
Yeah.
Yeah, it'll be fun because, like I mean, I'm assuming it'll be really good money because all of these tourists coming and visiting the town and trying to spend a bunch of money on good food on their vacation. I feel like it'll be it'll be good for me.
Mm hmm.
Do you like Yeah, yeah, I'm hoping. So, I mean, it's expensive, it's fuck to live there, so I better be making good tips or else I can't live there.
What were you going to say?
I was gonna say, like, I, you know what you said so many things in the previous calls that I wanted to bring up. Sure, fuck, what did you say? You said something that really resonates? Oh my god, I'm I'm blinking anything.
Anything you can vaguely remember about it, we can remember it together.
It was like the guy who's talking about social media, he was you were saying, how that you you delete or you haven't deleted social media? But you you don't really seem like a slave to it, Like you don't seem addicted to it.
I don't seem addicted to it.
Is that what you said? No?
Uh no, no, no no, I'm definitely addicted to it.
Oh oh oh, but you but you like want to change that or like yeah, because I I what he was talking about putting like Instagram on his old iPad is something that I have tried out. I put it. I just have it on my desktop computer. And that makes me not want to go on Instagram at all. I'm not so much addicted to like Reddit or anything else but Instagram. I'm on like Facebook reels and that
shit sucks. Like I have Facebook on my phone and sometimes when I'm really craving like that short term addiction brain rot stuff, like there's no brain rot on there. It's all like millennial stupid shit. And it really does help because it's like it makes me snap into the moments of as like why the fuck am I watching this Facebook real bullshit? Ye, I would say, like that's been my solution, just taking it off my phone and then keeping Facebook to remind me like, oh wait, this is dumb, you know.
M oh yeah, okay, So you keep just one social media to remind you how much you hate social media, as opposed to checking the revolving door of seven different social medias to yeah, you know, then remember that you hate social media. Yeah, it saves a lot of time.
Yeah.
I think I read it as good for that, because every time I go on and read it, I'm like, yeah, I don't need to I don't need to be here.
Yeah, okay, But I'm on Reddit for a lot of like art stuff, and I like to look at that, but like Reddit for yeah, Reddit for dumb shit. Yeah, I get that.
I mean that's how they get you, right, is that you're on there for one thing and then it attacks you with all these fucking other things.
Exactly. Like especially Instagram, the algorithm, it's like it's so good. It keeps me going, like I don't know, there's you know that like picture of like the miner who turns around like right before the diamonds like that meme.
No oh wait, yes, yes I do, Yes, I do, Yes, I do.
That's how it feels to be scrolling Instagram reels and it's like I just need to give up at some point, but I know the next video is going to be really good.
Well, well it's not exactly like that meme because uh, there's no you know, I don't really know what diamond you're searching for, because even if you find a good video, it's like, well you're gonna keep scrolling.
You know.
Wow, that was actually really like I like that. Yeah, what am I searching for on Instagram reels? Am I trying to? Like? Sometimes I'm you know, how Instagram added like the liked by feature so you can see like the people you follow who like the reels. Yeah, sometimes I feel like I like have have stopped liking reels or liking certain reels because I want people to think that I like that video or like unlike you know what I'm saying, Yeah.
You're trying to like socially signal that you like something exactly.
And then it's like, well, yeah, like maybe they like that too, and then maybe I don't fucking know. But then it's like some things I'm scared to like because I'm like, oh, this doesn't align with my you know what I putting out there on Instagram, Like, this doesn't go with my brand, I guess, which is so stupid. I'm not like an influencer or anything. And this is why I deleted this shit because I don't I don't care about this. I don't know why why would I
even care about that? Why would I care about unliking shit on Instagram or like what I like? I don't know, you know what I'm saying.
Yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah, it's like, why would you even care? It doesn't matter, it is it is no offense, a dumb thing to care about, but it's yeah's good to understand that it's a dumb thing to care about, Like like curating your feed and stuff I think is a fool's errand.
I yeah, I had this like roommate that really wanted to be an influencer once and she like it was like I don't judge. I really like, I really try not to judge people, but this is something that it would just be Like she'd be recording us like going out to eat and being like, come with me to try a new restaurant in the downtown. I'd be like, shut up, like literally, what are you doing? You have ten followers? Like this is so dumb, Like what what
is the point of that? Like the restaurant isn't paying you to post it? Like you're not getting anything out of it except for attention and that that's what they get out of it. Mm hm m hm.
Yeah.
Fuck social media.
Yeah, social media kind of success. I mean, I have it to thank for the career I've been able to make out of it, but I'd like to not be on it at all.
Do you have like a social media person that does all your shit?
Uh?
No, No I don't. It's just me. Well, I should probably get to get someone. I should probably get someone to like start doing that shick because I haven't. I mean I fell off significantly, mainly because I just got burnt out from like doing all that shit, and I I had trouble. Yeah, I mainly just got burnt out from doing all that shit and and I kind of started feel like I don't even know what the point of this shit is anymore.
Oh my god, I think I remembered what I was gonna tell you that. Okay, yes, so this wasn't regarding the last call, but a few episodes ago. I think you mentioned, uh, you don't believe that everything happens for a reason. I think that's fucking stupid. I think everything does happen for a reason. And I think the whole like narrative we're on a floating rock, nothing matters, blah blah blah, that is so dumb. I think that's like
the worst way to approach anything. And I think everything happens for a reason because it's like I don't know the proper philoso it's de termed, but like, you know, the determinism ideal ideology or whatever. Yeah, sure, yeah, I feel like, would you prescribe.
To that or.
Yeah?
I definitely uh secretly subscribe to some form of determinism, But I want you to I want to hear more about why you think that's stupid, because you seem like you have an alternative viewpoint.
I guess I yeah, I wanted to get your perspective a little bit more solified, But I guess I just like I just I feel like I've seen a lot of people in my like interpersonal relationships that are like life doesn't matter, run a floating reps bucket. I'll go on that date tonight, I'll go out to this concert Yolo, you know, like that mentality, and I feel like that
fuels this. It just it creates this. Uh it doesn't have any roots in reality like it it just has no legs, Like it's just like a very like the Yolo mentality is so like you should make choices that matter because that will affect everything, and that will affect your future decisions, do you know what I mean? Like you shouldn't just carelessly make choices because you think it doesn't matter, because that wouldn't it's probably gonna hurt you
in the long run. Or it's like you're not deciding anything with your gut or your brain or your heart. You're basing it all on Like the Yolo mentality you know, you're basing it in like the present moment, but the present moment doesn't have like any legs further than that,
you know. But if you decide and make decisions based like you know, uh practically and like with your brain, or if you have you make decisions based on feeling or your gut, at least that's rooted in something, and it's probably based on some sort of series of subconscious events that you've occurred to make you choose that decision. I just feel like the yolo mentality, it's a plague to our society. I feel like so many people are are are getting hurt by it. So that's what I think.
Uh yeah, No, I agree with you. I think that you're talking about like nihilism, and I think that nihilism is.
But it's rebranded to be like cool, like the trendy thing to do.
Well, that's like an what you're talking about is like an optimistic nihilism.
But I agree with.
You, I don't. I don't know if I agree with you necessarily that nihilism isn't rooted in some form of reality, but I totally agree with you that it's not helpful. It's not helpful. At all. It's really really not helpful at all. I don't like it. I don't like determinism. I don't like nihilism. I yeah, I hate it, and
I hate it. I'd so much rather be Although I think when you're talking about things like, oh, Yolo, I'll go on this date and I'll go to this concert whatever, I think that these are people who are using the fact that, uh, you know, I mean, I don't think Yolo is the worst ever motto. I think it's good to recognize that you know your time. I think it's good to recognize that your shit is finite and make decisions based off of that that there is really no future.
Yeah, okay, yes, I do agree with that. I think that, but it is like important that I don't know, I think it's important to think about like there is a future and like this does have repercussions, and I don't know, I feel like it's just kind of it also, like, uh, what devalues the present moment as well, like or like you know, devalues everything else around you. It's a little bit selfish. Also, like the Yelo mentality or the float We're on a floating rock, so it doesn't matters mentality
I think is like it's just it's not good. It's bad.
In what way do you think it devalues the present moment, because because you would argue that that it's sincerely that it uh values the present moment right a lot.
Yeah, yeah, that is like the general argument. But I do think that, like we're on a floating rock. It's like, well not to not to get like so woo woo, but it is like we're on the earth. The earth is our home. This is like a finite resource we live on. We can't just like make careless decisions about this floating rock is very important, and like everybody lives here and we have to treat this environment, this space,
our community with like more premeditated actions. I think that, like, yeah, I think that like it devalues the present moment because in the present moment, we're living on this shared planet, the shared space, and so it's like my present moment's more important than anybody else's or like I don't think that necessarily in the context of going to a concert or on a date, but you know, it can get like spiral pretty fast, and I don't know, I feel
like I've just seen it happen within my friends making careless decisions or family. So that's really what it's rooted in.
No, I see, I see what you mean. I see what I see what you mean. And again, like it's we have the same information, but we're having two different perspectives on it. And I think you have a good I think you have a good perspective. I think that that's that's a totally reasonable one.
Yeah, I think we're on this like two sides of the same coin.
What's your name again?
Uh? Brooke?
Brooke?
Mm hm, oh my god, the last time, go ahead. I was just gonna say the last time. It's funny because I started off this conversation about my use infection, but the last time I called you was about an STD I had. I have a bad track record on the GETO Show.
I don't think that's a bad track record. That's just you know, that's just your life.
It's just life. You're there for me in my darkest moment.
I'm honored to be there for you in your darkest moments. Brooke, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Fred Love show, Love, check up on your friends, drink some water, say hid to your grandma, love.
You, thank you, Broke, have a good night to bye bye. But I agree with Brooks postulate that I'd certainly rather think like Brooke, that there is a future and we should be doing stuff now, whether you know, in the world or in our own lives, that are kind of like plant the seeds for a better future. So I do agree. I do agree with her perspective in that way. Hey, folks, what's up. It's me. It's Lyle and uh, we're going to do a thing where we end this episode by
reading viewer mail. I've been enjoying doing these hybrid geck mail phone call episodes, so let's do some viewer mail. If you want to submit view or mail for the future, you can mail me or you know, I mean email me. I mean, if you want to, you can mail me, but you got to find out where I live first, and I don't keep that information public. Don't try to figure out where I live. Don't do that. Just just send me an email. It's way easy. You can email
me at therapy geckomail at gmail dot com. But before you do that, let's listen to some people who already emailed me at therapy geckogmail dot com and let's see what they have to say, all right, subject line Gek mail from Dylan. This is from Dylan. Hi Gek. I'm twenty six and a longtime listener, big fan of everything you do. I'm not the best with words, but I'll do my best. I love traveling and going on new adventures,
and I really want to travel overseas again. I live near Sydney, Australia, and the only place I've ever been overseas is Bali about fifteen times. Now, WHOA fifteen times? That's a lot of times. I started going there when I was a kid with my mom, dad, and sister. Later on, my parents divorced. I think because my mom cheated, though no one ever told me for sure. I never pushed my dad about it because he's not great at
talking about that kind of thing. After the divorce, my mom moved to Bali with her new partner, while I stayed in Australia with my dad. About a year ago, I started visiting my mom and Bali on my own. My dad didn't want to come, so I would travel by myself. I was only about ten at the time. Wait, I said about a year later, right, not a year ago, because that would mean it was eleven. I just want to make sure. About a year later, I started visiting my mom and Bali on my own. My dad didn't
want to come, so I would travel by myself. I was only about ten at the time. Someone from the airport would help me through the lines and make sure I got there safely. It made me feel pretty special. You just remember that movie Unaccompanied Miners. This is not part of the email. This is just me doing a thing. It's like about oh yeah, it's like a two thousand and six movie about kids on Christmas their unaccompanied miners. I don't remember that movie, all right. Sorry, through the
rest of this cause email that I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop interrupt, I'm gonna read the email. I even brought back a few laser pointers to sell to my schoolmates, which I now realized was a dumb idea since they're illegal here, but at the time it felt like a cool little business. The whole point is that it's illegal. That's it's like, that's like saying I used to sell weed in high school, which I realized was a dumb idea because it's illegal. It's like, of course, you know, okay,
all right, I really will stop interrupting this time. Why are laser pointers illegal in Australia. I don't know if this is frustrating for you guys to listen to, but hold on, Why are laser pointers illegal in Australia. Laser pointers are not completely illegal in Australia, but are strictly regulated, primarily because aiming them at an aircraft is a serious and dangerous offense. Okay, but can you really can a
laser pointer really fucking go that far? And also why just Australia, They're not the only one that have planes. I'm sorry. Those trips to Bali were amazing. I got to spend my school holidays with my mom, and she had more kids there, my three younger half brothers. Sadly, I haven't seen them since I was sixteen. My mom passed away from breast cancer when I was fifteen, and the last time I went to Bali was for her funeral.
After that, I didn't want to go back. Airplanes just reminded me of her and flying became too hard emotionally. I'd love to see my brothers again, just to make sure they're okay, but their dad left a bad impression on me. When my mom died only two weeks later, he emptied my savings account. What the fuck about twenty thousand dollars that my dad had been putting money into since I was born. That's fucked up because it was a shared account with my mom and her husband at
the time. There was nothing I could do. Dude, that's fucked up. Is there really nothing you could do that's fucked up? Man? There's no way to say, like, is that I guess? Damn? Yeah, I guess. If it's a shared account with your mom, like he legally can do that, that sucks. I'm sorry, man, Damn that made me lose trust in him, and it's part of why I'm scared to reach out now. I don't even know if my
brothers remember me. They were all toddlers when my mom passed away, But I still think about them and hope they're doing all right. These days, I try to stay positive. I've got a beautiful wife, and together we've worked hard to fire to buy our first property in a country town. We're building our dream house, and I hope that one day my brothers might find me and maybe we can share a joint together and catch up on everything we missed. Wow, what an email. Thanks for sending this, Dylan.
This is.
What a story you've got. You seem like a really nice guy, Dylan. I'm sorry to hear that your stepdad did that to you when you were a kid. Uh No, I don't think he's worth reaching out to. I mean that's a really rotten fucking thing to do. But I don't know the half brothers right like. I mean, you could do a little facebooking, I'm sure, and try to find them. I'm sure if you wanted to, you can
do a little facebooking. If you have a you have a wife, and shit, I'm sure you're I don't it doesn't say exactly how old you are, but I'm gonna guess you're at least in your late twenties. And yeah, maybe I haven't seen them in a you know, over a decade, but I think it's worth it to do a little bit of facebooking and reach out to them. How are things going? I wish I could talk to this guy. If you Dylan, if you, if you hear this, send me a I mean giving you a call on
the podcast sometime. I want to. I want to talk to you. I want to hear how your your dad is doing. I want to know about more about your life. That's cool, man, I'm glad that you That's really hard to lose your mom at fifteen, but you still went on to, uh, you know, make a proper life for yourself. Brother. That's really cool. That's really cool. Yeah, you should reach out to your half siblings see how they're doing on Mate book or whatever they got in Australia. Thanks for
sharing that story, Dylan. Sorry, sorry I kept interrupting it with the stupid laser porter thing. Although I am I still don't get why they're illegal in in Melbourne or in all of Australia. Okay, I'm looking at my Google Chrome window and it says gek mail from Dylan Unaccompanied Miners Wikipedia and then r Laser's legal on to Reddit. All right, this is from Charles subject line what is camouflage?
Hi, Lyle.
My name is Charlie. I'm from England and I saw you live at the Clapham grand I ate three hot dogs at the show, very stoned. It was amazing. Thank you, Charlie. Me and my brother currently have a disagreement about camouflage. My brother made the point that leopard print genes must be camouflage, as leopard's fur is camouflage in its natural habitat. I believe that once the camo is taken out of the environment it blends in it is no longer camouflage
and is now just a funky pattern. Therefore, animal print genes aren't camouflage, unless if you're in a jungle. We would love your insight ps come back to England.
Hmm.
I will try to come back to England. But about the camouflage thing, I don't really have an opinion on this, but I like the way that your brain is going with this, right because listen, nobody who buys camo genes or leopard print genes is using them for the purpose of camouflage. They're buying it because it is a funky pattern. But just because the thing is not being utilized for its intended purpose at the time it is being used, does that necessarily mean that it is not that thing.
It's an interesting like a philosophical conundrum. It's like a ship a thesis kind of a thing. I like to be contrarian, so I'm gonna join you in saying that leper print genes are not camouflage. They're just a funky pattern. And it sounds like it pisses off your brother that you said that, And I think that's kind of funny. So I'm gonna go with you on that that it's not camouflage, is just a funky pattern. All right. This is from Thinn subject line, whatever you put out, you
get back, Hey Lyle, longtime listener here. Recently I moved away from home to study abroad for a year. Just for a bit of context. Like the majority of people in Ireland my age, I have lived at home with parents my entire life, even though it's only a year. When making the decision to live away, I was filled with a lot of anxiety about what would change in my life and if things would be different after moving. Even though these are understandable fears, I'm really glad I
decided to move. As much as I loved my home and my family and friends, I feel like the version of me that stayed would be much less fulfilled than the current me that left. It's also cool dad lore for the future. Going into this, I wanted to treat it as a fresh start. I decided to be more confident and open. It wasn't as easy at the start, but now I've made a lot of new friends and I'm still keeping in touch with my friends back home. This experience has also made me much more open to
trying new things and following my dreams. I've gotten more into music, and I'm following my passions more openly and honestly, as I used to feel pretty embarrassed saying out loud that I wanted to make music. I'm still learning and adjusting, but I'm definitely a lot less scared of change. If I've learned one thing from this experience so far, it's that whatever you put out into the universe, you could
often get back. I've made friends with a lot of new people who both share interest with me and are into things that I'm not really into myself. Thanks for doing the show. Even though I recommend studying abroad, it can get pretty lonely sometimes, so having a familiar voice can be pretty nice. Hope to call in someday. Thanks. I'm happy for you, finn. I really really strongly believe Listen, guys, I get it.
I know.
I know that not everyone has the means to be able to leave their hometown. But if you do, or if you have an inkling that you might want to try, I recommend it. You know, I think you know any of my life philosophies or whatever. They only come from how I'm wired and everyone's wired differently. But I really think it's like, you know, I don't know, I don't know. Man, you only live for such a short amount of time. You should go and see the fucking world. So good
for you, Finn. This is from Chris. Subject line, first time get mailer. Hey, Lyle, my name is Republicus. Okay, I'm gonna keep Chris, I mean Republicists whatever. I'm not gonna blur. I don't think I'm not gonna cut out your real name, but Chris Republicus okay.
All right.
I'm kind of new to the community. I've seen the show before. I've heard some good things talked about on the show, and it has made me want to reach out and see what advice I can get or give back. I'm married, thirty four year old male to a gorgeous woman, and I have three boys. It's cool. I like being a father. It's nice having some boys, you know, me and my boys. That wasn't that wasn't in his email. That was me commenting on his email. My married life
is amazing. Also, I have in my life the one person in my life who knows who I am and can always see the true me. She knows all of my quirks, and I love that she knows these things. We've been together for fourteen years. We've had our fights, and we've almost separated, but we've learned and we are continuing to learn how to communicate better. We've worked hard for the things we have, just like anyone else does.
I don't have wealth in the denominal way, but I am very wealthy in the love I have with the people I hold closest to me. Now, enough of me patting myself on the back. I'm curious just to share a little bit of myself with you and the audience in the hopes that maybe I'm not totally alone in some aspects of life. Aliens, Maybe ancient history really cool and fun sometimes. Okay, I'm not sure where this is going, but I'm gonna keep reading it. I recently got into Hima,
the historical European Martial Arts. Been checking in on atlass here and there, but the government shut down and NASA went blind. These are just some of the things I try to enjoy and fill my head with so reality goes away. Moving on, I drive trucks for a living trash specif he wrote trash in all caps. It's a fun work environment, and I enjoy driving all day. My two youngest are in school, and the oldest is living at home but working two jobs. My missus works for
the state government. Sh He wrote, that's all I will say about that. Then he wrote parentheses. It kind of ramps up a little. Also, I have been adding salt and pepper to my previous statements. Sorry if it gets rambling. I really this is an audio. I'm not reading the email. This is an audio experience. So I really like I can't show you this email, but I really wish I could, because it's this really feels like something to read, all right. It is a really funny thing. Trying to send this email.
I'm finding it's taking a few days to do, so wow, okay, how many I'm curious how many days this has been written? Over see currently, as of this paragraph, it's been four days or longer to get this all finished. There we go, I remember to myself, Oh yeah, GEK and I come back. It's been chill for the most part, but at this moment I'm a little hurt physically lmal. I fucking tripped at work while on my personal time changing my car tires.
Then I spent two to three hours nearly destroying my boss's equipment to change my tires, all because I didn't want to help using the all because I didn't want help using the mechanical, intuitive, useful tool that I thought I knew how to use. To top off the level of frustration I was feeling in that moment, my gorgeous wife texted and called, wondering why I'm not home, and of course I take it that she is upset that I am not done with the tires parentheses real quick.
In between nearly breaking my boss's things and my wife calling, I had also tore the wall of my tire while using the machine. Thank you in parentheses. Okay, I'm trying to follow this. I'm yelling at her because I think she's yelling at me, while she, on the other hand, is just trying to see if I'm hurt or dead or just mentally stable. I hang up, finish the tire swap all caps so unconventionally finally drive home and apologize to my beautiful wife Parentheses, sorry if the simping is
too much, and started this paragraph. It's our I think it's all right to sinp for your wife. I think that's okay, Republicus. Anyways, it's been chill just taking the time to finally finish this email. Weird how parentheses therapy can work when you have such a wise and humble gecko that simply listens, analyze, and tries to be concise with what he says. I appreciate that, Gigi's Republicus. Whow all right that we did it. I could see I could see myself for every day it took for you
to write this email. It took me an extra two minutes to read it and comprehend it. But even though I don't think I fully even though I don't think I fully comprehended you, Republicus, just by judging by this email, you're the kind of guy i'd be down to hang out with. I'm curious what your life is like. I mean, I feel like I got a pretty good idea of what your life is like from this email, and I like it. I like the way you live. I'm happy
that you exist. I really, I'm not even just bullshiting this. You know, you have three boys, you have a wife that you're nice too, that you've been together with since you were fucking twenty. You got jobs, your kids are in school, like you're a real human being on their planet Earth right now. I have a lot of respect for you. Republicus call in some time. I want to know what republicist means. And I also want to know what the hell you were using to fix your tires.
Well that's gek mail. That was viewer mail. Once again, if you want to send me an email, you can do it at therapy geckomail at gmail dot com. Thank you, guys very much for for not recording. I'm the one recording, But thank you very much for listening to the thing that I have recorded. I appreciate that very much. I hope you enjoyed listening to this episode. I hope that this was fun for you guys to or informative or good. I hope it was worth your time to listen to
this thing. I'm not wearing pants. I haven't been wearing pants this whole time. I'm just in my underwear, so I'm gonna go put on pants and that's it. I don't have anything else to say. Thank you, sincerely from the bottom of my heart for listening to this podcast, and I hope you keep listening, and I hope you tell your friends, and I hope that this show has been helpful or anything at all to you in the time that I've done it. And I feel honored to
be a geck on the computer. Thank you, guys. Bye bye.
Never goes on the line taking your phone calls.
Every night, every beacon goes on and ride. You're teaching your cloud in the middle of your life that he's not really an expert.