Hello, is this lie?
Yeah? Is this Heath? It is.
Crazy that I'm actually talking to you.
Oh, I'm happy to happy to hear from you. You got the same name as that actor who died.
Yeah, that's how everybody knows who he's that or the candy bar.
Mm hmm, well Heath does see Heath. I feel like this is going to be a chill call.
Yeah, I mean, why not.
What's going on with the Heath?
Well, I'm in a predicament that I've never been before, Heathy.
It says here that you accidentally threw away your sister's roommates dad's ashes.
Yeah. It's like I I I laugh, I giggle because it's so horrible. It's like there's not really any other way to respond. It's it's so bad.
Yeah, let me let me, let me let me slow this down real quick. Okay, sisters roommates, dad's ashes.
Yeah, so my sister lives in a house with a couple of people. One of those people's dad died. I threw away the ashes.
Okay, so tell me how you ended up throwing away the ashes.
Well, basically, the the house that my sister and everybody rents is getting tinted for termites tomorrow, so they have to you know, clean up the police a bit, get it organized, wrap everything up, and then also take their things and leave for a couple of days while it's happening. And so my sister actually is sick, so I went over there to help because she wasn't there or able to help. And then the other chick is was like working or something, and so I went to help the
only other person that was there working on things. And so we had this this like one laundry room closet room that needed to be kind of organized and cleaned out. There was tons of trash, like literally a massive pile of laundry, and then this like cabinet situation that had a bunch of random things and it mainly though it was cleaning supplies and like extra hardware, looked like it was just a bunch of stuff left by the landlord. And we were just cleaning all that out, stuff that
you know, wasn't necessary. And one of those things was an unmarked box that was just sitting there amongst all those other things, and I thought it was that, you know that like cat litter type stuff that janitors use to like clean up throw up in schools and stuff and like drives up even sweep it.
I thought it was that you thought it was catletter, you know.
Some some along than live. I mean, it's I don't know if you've ever seen ashes. I never have before. I mean I have now. I didn't know it though, but that's not what I pictured them looking like. You know, I thought it would be like, I don't know, ashes, It was like cat litter almost m h.
And so you threw them what?
Well, yeah, I mean we were trying to save some space and put things in there that needed to be better protected, and a box of dirt or cat litter was not going to be one of those things. Little did we know the dad's ashes were in there. So is that? Yeah, So.
What happens when your sister's roommate found.
Out, Well, she didn't know right away because, like I said, she wasn't even there when we were in the room. She was aware that we were cleaning that room though, And I think that's important because I don't mean to like shift the blame on anybody, but like it was a totally unmarked box, like we had literally no way of knowing. I'm sure if you were in the same position,
you probably would have done the same thing. Like it didn't seem It's not like it was just some dumb mistake because we were being careless, like it was thought out. We actually in the moment joked saying, oh, that might be like somebody's ashes, And I was like, no, there's no way that, like somebody would put there somebody important ashes in some storage room next to hardware and cleaning supplies and an unmarked cardboard box, like, there's no way.
You joked beforehand.
That well, I mean to say joked that. We weren't like joking, but like, you know, just an offhand little comment like, oh, what if that's ashes, I'd be like, and I actually said, no, there's no way these are ashes. It's like it wouldn't be here. Okay, we're that important, you know.
I feel like you cosmically played alf when you said that, Well, what do you mean while you threw it out there for those to be ashes?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we spoken into existence. It wouldn't have been ashes.
If we didn't say that, So tell us about and then here we are the reaction from yeah, your sister, your friends, your sister's friends.
Yeah, well, how I initially realized they suspected something happened. Was my sister FaceTime and was like, hey, so Shelby, you know, thanks for cleaning that room yesterday. You know, awesome job. Looks Shelby was wondering where there was like a box with her dad dashes in that room, and she was just wondering where it went. And like immediately as soon as she said that, I knew exactly what she was talking about, and I got silent for a little while. I thought for a little bit longer, and
I still didn't really know what to say. I mean, I just like anyways, she ends up kind of catching the hint because nobody would actually say anything right away that obviously they must be gone. So the other roommate it was mainly texting her because their roommates, and so she was just like, yeah, we accidentally threw them away, gave some excuse. She just like ignored everybody for a while.
Literally drove to some landfills and was trying to find it, and like we were kind of following her around trying to go to a landfill. I had no idea where it went though, And then it ended where Shelley ended up being with somebody else and Anyways, she she sent a big long text a little while ago, just uh, and her step mom did too.
She text to your.
Roommate that I didn't no to Bella and because they don't have my phone number, so they sent to Tabella Bella toal sense to me. So I was able to see it, and it was like they were really upset. They were just like, how could.
You do this?
How did you not even question that this might be somebody's ashes heath?
Do you have the text message?
Yes?
Can we hear it?
Yeah?
The text message that they sent that like the stepmom sent.
Yeah, the text message that the step mom sent to you?
Okay, they she said, this is Cheryl Shelby's stepmom. I would greatly appreciate an explanation as to how that's all taps. You could soak carelessly throw away my fiances and Shelby's father's remains in the garbage. This is the most horrifying thing I've ever heard of in my life. It is beyond painful. You have three people living in your home. If you ran across something that wasn't familiar to you, why in God's name would you not ask your roommates?
Shelby told you both. She was putting her father's ashes in the cabinet in the laundry room due to Marley, that's her dog. How could you do this? How if you have an ounce of healing compassion, if Shelby has to go to the landfill to find him, you better be right beside her helping you and Tally and he's This is the most inconsiderate, cruel thing I've ever experienced. Imagine, just imagine if this was one of your parents. Make this right, Bella?
Wait, make this right, Bella? Why did you say at to Bella?
Well, because she sent that text specifically to Bella.
Why would she Santa Belli, you're the one to throw away the ashes?
Well, we both did it, was we literally I grabbed it from the shelf and asked, and she took it from my hand and threw it in the trash bag, like we both did it.
Okay, all right, Well, so she said that you need to make this right. What have you done to attempt to make it right?
Well, I was if she was going to be at a landfill, I was willing to go there and look for it, even though I don't think that's realistic at all. I think we're never going to find it, but I was going to go there and do my best to try to find it and hope for some sort of crazy, crazy thing to happen.
And did you end up going to the landfill?
Well, I drove to a couple, but she was ahead of me, and I don't actually have her phone numbers. I wasn't talking to her. I was getting relayed messages from my sister who was talking to her about where she was going. And so by the time I would get to the places, she had already left because those places were closed or the people there told her to
go somewhere else. So it was kind of just I chased her around town for a little while, never actually saw her, and then she was so and that wasn't gonna rude.
Have you seen the step mom or the daughter since in person?
No, this this has unfolded in the last like four hours, probably maybe five.
This was this is this is in the past four hours.
Yeah, this is literally today, like I'm in the middle of it right now. And I was telling my buddy about it, and he said, dude, Lyle is online right now.
Oh my god, you are so heavily procrastinating on dealing with this right now.
Maybe that is the case.
Yeah, okay, so when did you get sent that text?
That text was sent at eight thirty and it is now almost ten an hour and a half years.
Have have you responded to it yet? How do you? How do you respond to something like that?
Well? I don't know, and I don't feel like it's totally fair, but I because all of this is going towards Bella, like, even though we were equally involved in it, I know that she's going to take most of the heat because she's their actual roommate. She's like legit friends and knows, Like I'm pretty sure there's some traumatic story to her relationship with her dad and everything like and then he like died of some horrible like of COVID
or something like. It's a very sad story and she was very beaten up about it.
And yeah sure, well okay, So if you believe that Bella is about to take most of the heat, are you going to stand up and say it was both of us?
Oh? Yeah, And I've tried to say that as much as I can. But like I said, they're texting her, they don't have my phone number, and they're not trying to get my phone number. They it's almost as if they're blaming her, and I can't even like I've said it was both of us. I can respond to everybody, but like they're still not really I think they've made up their minds. That's what I was saying. They think it might be malicious. That's kind of the vibe I'm getting.
So you are in the absolute midst of this situation right now, How do you feel about everything?
I am so terrified because like, while it doesn't it doesn't like directly affect me because I don't live there. I'm not even really friends with the Shelby chick. Like I said, she's nice. I enjoy saying hey to her in passing when I go to her house to visit my sister, Like I don't really know her. So I
feel like it's a lot. I don't know. It's like it doesn't directly affect my life in most ways, but I just threw away her dad's ashes, Like I just mentally am gonna have to live with that for the rest of my life with no way to fix it, and like no way for her to ever really feel better about anything, Like it's always going to suck and there's nothing to make it better, And I think that makes it so much worse. There's not even a possibility of recomplete.
I like that you're saying it's not going to affect your life at any way. Okay, let's your name again, Heath, Heath. Have you thought at all, because because eventually, eventually, I don't know, I mean, I thought this was longer ago. I didn't realize this happens today. You will will eventually be in a situation where you will have to face this mother and this daughter who's uh father's ashes you threw away. You will have to see them in person. Are you prepared for that?
No? Nope, I that I think that terrifies me even more because honestly, I would expect him to just like slap me in the face. And you know I don't do it's violence very well. I'm not a violent guy, so like that would be that's very terrifying.
Me getting slapped in the face.
But if somebody being so upset that they would slap me in.
The face, have you thought about anything you could potentially do to make things right?
Not to make things right, But my buddy gave me an idea of like going to the local Humane society and then getting some extra ashes there and like putting them in the box, and like the most horrible idea. There's no way I could do that, but I am like slightly considering it for some reason.
Yea, I was about to say, you sound like you're considering this idea.
I really don't think I ever would do it, though.
By the way, I don't know if you can just go to the humane society and get ashes.
Yeah, probably not. I'm probably oversimplifying that a lot.
I'm concerned about maybe why your friend knows this, because it means he's done this before.
I was also concerned. But then directly after that is whenever he's said to call you, and so I hung up with him and didn't talk about it anymore.
Okay, Well, I feel like all I've really provided you with is sixteen minutes in which you are dealing with this situation in a retrospective, hypothetical sense, and not directly face to face. I hope it's giving you some time to think about how you might respond. I don't know how I would respond. I am at a loss. I don't know what the hell I would do if I was in your situation. You know, am I a saint?
Would if I were in your position with the idea of going to the Humane Society and trying to swap out this girl's dad's ashes for the ashes of a golden retriever? Would that pop into my mind and stay there for you know, at least ten seconds maybe? But I also wouldn't do it. I don't have an answer for you, Heath. You're kind of just going to have to take the L on this one. You're a little bit lucky that you're not having to take the L alone. You share the L with this other girl, Bella. What
have you been in contact with her? What's your conversations with her? Been?
Like, Yeah, that's the main person I've been talking to. She has been horribly broken up about it because, like I said, they're friends, and you know, they are roommates, and she knows them very well. So she's very broken up about it, to the point where like she's she's like sobbing constantly just thinking about it. Like I'm sure
she's been crying for hours today. And I feel horrible because like even though, like I said, we were equally involved with it, but she's definitely going to take the larger hit for sure, and I'm uncomfortable with where I'm at.
Well, you seem like you're sort of I mean, you're describing yourself to me as removed from the situation in theory.
In most ways. Yeah, that's why I'm kind of like, I don't know. It's mentally, I'm trying to make it better. But at the same time, I always come back to the fact of the matter that it's it is really, really horrible. So I'm like trying to maybe rationalize it mentally about why it's okay and I wasn't totally the one to blame and I don't even have to bear most of the runt of it all. But I don't know, I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact
that through raised somebody's goad to ashes. Like the rest of my life, I know that I did that. It's horrible. What if somebody did it to me? You know?
Well, I think you're right in that you're not going to find anything at the landfill, And all you can kind of really do now is face these people head on. You got to go and look them in the eye and feel those pretty horrible feelings, and then as far as how to make things right. M you're gonna have to get creative. You're gonna have to think of some ideas. They might have their ideas of how you can make things right. Maybe you might have to do some community work.
Maybe you find out about the father. What did he care about in his life and how can you contribute to the things that he cared about? You know what I'm saying. Was he a big I don't know, did he? Was he a volunteer firefighter or something? And now you got to go be one of those I'm just spitball here, but something like that. If I figure out what was important to this man, ask them what was important to this man and how you can help carry on his
legacy whatever it is. That's that's my one li little thing of how you can maybe right this wrong. What's your name, Heath. I'm gonna let you go and take care of this because I didn't realize that it happened five minutes ago. I'm sure your phone is blowing up, and I'm happy to have given you a brief suspension from this reality, but it is time to dive back in.
Alrighty. Well, thanks Lotle. I appreciate the chat.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer.
Before we go, Yes, I would like to say, you know, just even when you think you know stuff you don't, you just never know. I thought it was cat litter or something and it was actually ashes, and I knew it for a fact that it wasn't. So you never know what you think you know. Harrison, I love you.
Thank you for calling Heath hie to assume makes an ass out of you and me. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I'll say this about the situation. They probably should have labeled the box or put it in an urn. I wouldn't put ashes in the same container that I'm putting pretzels in. I'd get a different container. But more importantly, Heath should not say that to them in the confrontation.
He can believe it, he can believe that that was not a great place for ashes, but don't mention that to the mom and the daughter, because then he really will get slapped. Hey is this Jack?
Yeah?
How's it going, Jack?
It's going pretty okay. I thought i'd be more nervous, but like so far, I'm okay.
Really, tell me more about what's going on in your body right now? How is the uh, how's your heart rate?
It's it's okay, it's slowly going up a bit. I was actually just talking to a friend and it was pretty relaxing. I'm actually it's just now hitting me that I'm like actually talking to you.
Well, Jack, I think I'm okay, how can I get you today?
Well, I I don't know. I've been seeing a lot of things and I'm thinking a lot about what people have been saying to me, and I don't know, things just kind of seem a little odd, and then the world starts to like cave in on you and you start to spiral and then like you know, you eventually come back. But it's a little scary.
Okay, that's you just said, like a lot of stuff.
Yeah, I think a lot about how other people like perceive me and what they tell me, and like I go to I go to an actual therapist for that. But yeah, I've had like an anxiety kind of thingy for five years now that I've been dealing with.
Well.
Jack says here that your friends are telling you that they're scared of you because you see things that are not there. Is that accurate?
Pretty much? It's more like there have been times where people have told me that they're afraid of me and that and then in addition, I've also been seeing a lot of things that aren't there that kind of adds on to it. Does that make sense?
Why are people telling you that they're afraid of you?
That's a really good question. It mostly happened in college. There was just like sometimes in conversation where like some of my friends would tell me that they're afraid of me, and I think it's because I'm kind of tall and I'm quiet, and so they just like, I don't know, get spooked that I'm like behind them or something. I'm not very good at public situations here.
Let's let's dive into this. Let's focus on this. Your friends tell you they're afraid of you. Do you ask that.
Some of them? Yeah, yeah, but they mostly give like really unspecific answers, Like.
It's like a specific answers about me.
They're just like, oh, I don't know, there's just something about you that like scares me, okay, and the fact that they don't know what it is, and the fact that I don't know what it is kind of scares me.
So Jack, are these things you say you see things that aren't there, and you say that people are afraid of you. Are these two separate things? Are these related?
These are things that I am They're related because I'm worried about both of them.
Okay, but they're not related because your friends aren't scared of you because of you seeing things. They're two separate things.
Yeah, that's correct.
Okay, Which thing do you think would be more beneficial for us to talk about right now?
Probably seeing things? I think that's really interesting And I have no idea.
Why what do you what have you been seeing?
Uh?
People, You've been seeing people who aren't there.
Yeah, I know it sounds really weird, but it's been happening a lot. And uh, I don't know. It's not something that I'm like super afraid of, but it is something I worry about.
Okay, tell me about these people that you're seeing that aren't there.
Sometimes it's like my dad. I'm not exactly sure why, but sometimes in my peripheral vision, like I see him standing there watching me, and it's kind of scary. Sometimes I'd be in class and like i'd look up or something and be watching me through a window, And then I'd look again and they weren't.
There is your dad alive?
Yeah he is. He's old, but he is.
Okay, what's the relationship like with him?
Uh? Complicated? I don't know. I there was a lot when, like when I was younger, he would get really really angry, and it was a really difficult time in my life. It was hard to live with him. My mom tried to separate from him, but it didn't really happen. I think that might be where my anxiety comes from, but I'm not exactly sure.
So, Jack, you say that you talk to a real therapist about this stuff, right, Yeah. And what does your real therapist tell you when you tell them this, Well, they kind.
Of agree with me. But we're working on a path right now to to stop seeing people and to move on from the anxiety. He thinks that it might be like a relation between me worrying about people like, uh, how they look at me and feeling like watched. I guess, like all of my actions, you know, being watched and judged.
Okay, so we're coming a little bit full circle. Your therapist is saying that these two things that I thought were not related are related. Yeah, okay. Uh, so you said your therapist is putting out a path for you. What does this path look like?
Well, it's kind of like kind of like getting more of like involved, I guess, and like how like what I'm thinking like or not what I'm thinking about, like getting more involved in my anxiety. So basically trying to open myself up more in public situations and trying to be more present. I wore a face mask a lot during the pandemic, but after I still wore it because I liked having my face covered up. And I also wore a hat a lot because I didn't like people
seeing me. So I'm trying to avoid that by not wearing a hat or a mask and trying to talk to people more. But it can be a little tough at times.
Okay, so your therapist believes that your anxiety over being perceived is what's causing you to see people that aren't there, because it's some psychological thing of you manifesting the idea that you're being watched. Yeah, so you wore a hat, you wore face mask around because you didn't want to be seen. Why are you afraid of being seen?
Because I am really afraid of how people view me, and I think that they're judging me a lot, and uh, I don't know. I guess I'm just afraid of not fitting in, Okay, being different, you know, wearing things that would make me stand out.
What about you do you believe is different?
Well, it's the thing. I try to not be different. But I guess I'm just not. I like, I don't know, I don't like the same you know, pop culture things that people like, or I don't have similar interest to a lot of people. And uh, it's kind of hard to get involved with like, you know, friend groups and things like that. And so yeah, I mean, I don't know. I've dealt with rejection a lot.
Well tell me that, tell me that's jack. But I'm sorry to interrupt you, but you said that you try not to stand out actively because you have this fear of being judged. But yeah, in your heart of hearts, your analysis of who you are and how you genuinely would like to be and would like to present yourself and would like to maneuver about the world, what does that look like without any consideration of what other people or what societal norms have to say? Do understand that question?
Like, how do I want to live my life without like thinking about what other people do. Yes, that's a really really good question. I don't know. Actually, I kind of feel like I've been doing this for so long that I forgot who I who I really was, And uh, I guess it would be good to try to reconnect with that person, because then I could maybe feel better.
You know.
I agree with you completely. And by the way, I don't you know. Look, it says you're in nineteen Is that is that true?
That's correct?
Okay, Yeah, so you've been living like this for a while, just in really strong fear of what other people think of you, And I think that's okay, you know, that's like, I think that's I think that's how a lot of people start. I feel like I've got a pretty good handle on myself and who I am, and I started
out afraid of what other people think of me. And I think a lot of people start afraid of what people think of them, and then they sort of decide that they're going to put forth effort against that, and then they go on to live more meaningful lives, expressing themselves and being who they are. And so I don't think you're behind. I don't think that you're at a disadvantage. I think that you're on an upward trajectory, and I also think you're on an upward rejector because you're fucking
going to therapy. You're realizing this is an issue, and you're making upwards steps into fixing it. I'm glad to hear that you just said on that, because I think you should sit back, take a little bit of time to think about how you actually want to be. A lot of people don't even do that. A lot of people don't even sit down and think, Okay, who am I actually, how do I want to present myself? How do I want to be? What are what is my idea of a good person? What is my idea of
the right way to live a life? And it's okay to really take some time to think about this stuff, write some of the stuff down, even And then you know you're programmed mentally right now to just care what other people think of you, because that's how you've been living, and so you're not gonna all of a sudden decide
and stop caring overnight. But I think that gradually, if you have it in your mind and you're continually every day reinforcing the way in which you like to the way in which you want to maneuver around the world. Over time, you will find yourself being able to uh do that more easily without being so afraid. What do you think about all of that?
I think that's a really really good idea, and I think I'm going to try to start figuring out what i want good and uh yeah, I think I think I'll start start figuring that out and trying to do that more intentionally.
Good. I think you should, because if you if you aren't adding intention to it, which and I think you are, and you know, if you don't, then you end up just sort of being swung away by the whims of whatever other people want you to be or are judging you as. Before we go, Jack, I know that this is a loaded fucking question to answer as a little wrap up, but do you have a semblance of an idea of the answers to any of these questions as to who you want to be? Well?
I want to be an astronaut and I want to I want to feel good about myself. I know those are two very different things, but those are things that I want. I just want to say that I really appreciate you taking this call I'm sorry that I kind of fumbled the ball there, but in the beginning I really wasn't expecting me to get on.
Oh you've You've been in a perfectly pleasant and genuine Jack, and we really appreciate it.
Absolutely, and I hope you have a great evening and thank you again.
Have a good night, Jack.
Bye.
Well, if a man ever did deserve to go to space, it would be Jack. Okay, I'm still processing the astronaut thing. Was that whole thing about him wanting to be an astronaut? Does Jack walk around and like full on astronaut gear? Power to him if he does. By the way, I'm not judging him, but I just want to know to what level of prominence in his life is the astronaut thing. I hope it happens for it. How hard does this become an astronaut? How many people have gone to space?
Total doesn't matter. I think he can do it. I think he can do it. Hello, Alexis, Yeah, what's up with you?
I have been dating my fiance, well, been engaged for a year, dating him for five and I just cannot get over this feeling of wanting to cheat on him.
Okay, since you're twenty five years old. You've been dating your fiancea for Hewong again.
So five years.
We've been dating, one year, we've been engaged, so six all together.
Okay, why do you why do you think you're having or just cheat on him?
I don't know.
It's really strange because.
We have a really great relationship.
I'm emotionally said by him.
I absolutely love him.
You know, we have this a really great relationship.
We spend so much time together. And it's not that I don't want to be with him.
I love him so much.
It's just such a strange feeling though.
I'll just be.
In a random situation and be like, I totally do it right now and.
He would never know.
But it makes you feel like an awful person because I have these feelings.
Okay, you're having urges to cheat on your boyfriend? Now, I have a question. Are you having urges to sleep with other guys? Or are you or are you having urges specifically to cheat on your boyfriend? Like, are you thinking to yourself you know, shit, I kind of you know, I kind of want to break up with my guy
and go see other people. Or are you thinking to yourself, I specifically want to go see other people and then return to my relationship with nothing having with him having been done in the white.
Yeah, no, I definitely don't want to end things with him. He's an amazing guy. We have such an amazing relationship. I'm emotionally said mentally, I mean, I for see a future, like for the rest of my life with this person. It's just like an overwhelming thing that I just can't get out of my head.
Have you discussed this with him?
Oh? My god?
No?
Really? Why not?
So? First of all, I feel like that would be like a relationship or ruiner in my opinion, because like how do you come back from that, you know what I mean, Like, how would he ever anything?
Situation? For sure? But I mean, I mean, it is your truth, It is how you're feeling. Yeah, do you have a therapist? Do you have a real therapist?
No?
So I was seeing one for a while and then COVID kind of hit and I didn't really like the virtual thing. So I haven't had one for a while. But before then, yeah, I did have a pretty set one.
But I mean also, so he was in a pretty long term relationship before I met him, and she cheated on him, and it's like kind of absolutely devastated him, and he's talked to me about like the emotional damage she's had from it, So like I also, I wouldn't want to just bring it up, like, hey, this is like something that I'm thinking of, because I know he's gone through like the trauma of that before.
Let's dig a little bit deeper into the urges themselves. What do we know about them? What is propelling them? Do we have any information about well, are these like sexual? Are these uh compulsions of of adrenaline or or you want to do bad things maybe intrusive reasons? Like what what do we? What do we what's our current read on these urges? And you know from from your perspective, So I.
Think it could be a couple of things. I mean, I know that I have a tendency to kind of ruin good things, and I know that this is a really great thing, so it could be just like me trying to ruin it. But then I also think it's it's a very real, just very pure sexual thing.
Why do you have a tendency to ruin good things?
Because uh, well I do have some abandonment issues. So I think it's kind of like a all all screw it up instead of them leaving me.
M all right, I mean here's here's the truth is. This is this is we're definitely in real therapist territory here because you got something going on for sure. Yeah, you're self aware of the fact that you got something I do. Yeah yeah, okay, And have you have you siated on him yet?
So and like no, no, I haven't. I feel like the situation would kind of have to like line up in very specific like perfect scenario for me to actually do it. But I think like one of the biggest things too for me is like when I was you know, dating, casualty and kind of balancing, I think the thing that I really enjoyed was like the newness of things, so you know what they're going to be like you know right, yeah, So I think that's so. I think that's something that
definitely plays into it. Is like the newness obviously, like after six years is like completely gone.
Do you have a desire to fix these urges or I mean, how do you do you do you want to not feel this way?
Absolutely?
Yes?
So this is like this is the end all be all for me, Like this is the person that I want to spend my life with. I can see myself growing gold with I don't want to ruin it. It's just this weird, like underlying, like just thing that comes into my head like pops up and I'm like, oh, I get out of here.
Sure it's an intrusive thought. And by the way, I don't know. All of my theories about life and everything are all works and progress, and this is one of them that is a little work in progress. But I kind of feel like we can't argue or reason with our feelings. I feel like they just happen. They're just presented to us and we're like, all right, fuck right, you know the words You're like, You're like, what if I on my perfect like a fuck? What are I?
You know, like you almost you're almost like helpless. You know the way that you feel what you are in control? Love is of course, you know the way that uh you know what what what you act on, how you perceive your feelings, how you uh, as I said, act on your feelings, and uh you could take a proactive step here. I don't know how to change your feelings. I have no idea.
Uh.
That's why you should probably go to like a real therapist person and they'll tell you more informed sid see things. But at the end of the day, I mean, you gotta deal with this because you know, we both know it's not fair for your you to marry this guy while he has just no fucking idea what's going on
with you? You know? So for sure? Yeah, look, I don't think you're a bad person for feeling this way, but you should probably figure out how to deal with these feelings in a productive manner toward what you actually want in life, which you are telling me it has to be with this guy. I don't know how exactly you do that. We've defined the goal, which is we need to sort out these feelings before we marry this guy.
We know that that's the what. As far as the how, that's that's uh that you can talk about with your real therapist. Yeah, okay, So there anything else you want to say to the computer before we go? GEK be with you, GEK bless cee, Alexis gack blessed.
Thank you.
Have a good night.
Hello, Hi, get Hi? Is this Regina?
Yes?
How are you doing? Regina?
I'm doing all right?
What's going on with you at this very moment? What are you looking at right now. I want to sort of put myself where you are.
Well, right now, I'm on my way back from work, so I'm passing my like homegate type situation.
Are you in a car?
Yes?
Okay, what do you just tell me? Just describe to me what you're looking at right now?
Big green car interior. I have like a four door type a big truck kind of car, and it's just roads. I live in Florida, so it's like trees and shit.
Okay, all right, I feel like you said the scene pretty well, I'm looking at trees and road and cars.
Yep, speed bump that has passed. Speed bump. I actually almost missed it. So that was it? Hurt a little bit?
Regina? Yeah, how can I get you this evening?
Okay?
So I actually have like some kind of big family issue going on in my house right now in regards to my may or may not be. I don't know if I'm even like allowed to say, but Narco uncle, now I guess.
Narco. Yeah, okay, what's going on with your NARCOA?
So okay, So to give a little bit of backstory, my grandmother passed away like in twenty sixteen, side twenty fifteen from a stroke, and after that everything kind of like went downtill because before that my mom had given my uncle my college fund and my brother's college fund to like build house because of what he does. He's a construction worker what he used to be, and so he built her house. That was fine, everything was going good. My grandmother passed away and silence. We didn't know where
my grandmother's body was. We didn't know what he did with all her stuff, We didn't know what happened to the house.
And so.
Later we found out that he actually went underground because the people that he was working with, they he was basically cleaning their money, but with real estate in Mexico, like constructing them houses with the money that she would give them to, I guess clean it. And that's essentially what the PI told us, which is like why he's
like underground. Now. The issue is that this has happened in like twenty sixteen, twenty sixteen, and we haven't been able to like really locate him, and so like the issue now is that if my mom presses charges, because it's in Mexico, there's like there's like a whole like there's like a whole other like system over there. And also if she presses charges because of the people that he's working with, my family, like my immediate family might be put at risk. And if he goes to jail,
he can be killed. So it's kind of like a do we do something and kill him or do we do something and get us killed?
You're considering trying to get him killed?
No, no, no, I mean if my mom ends up pressing charges and he ends up going to prison, usually in that line of work, you end up getting killed in prison.
Oh okay over there. Why would he end up getting killed in prison?
Well, the PI said, he's like in some really like shit over there, Like it's apparently really bad, and so like the chances of him being okay in there or like not that great from what we were told.
So okay, So you are concerned about whether or not to press charges because you think that it might get your uncle killed in prison.
Yes, and or also like if it doesn't, it might expose my immediate family to danger if he decides to retaliate because he's like not secorative the guy.
So okay, So you're afraid of either getting him killed or getting you guys killed. What are the advantages of pressing charges what do you receive in return?
We don't really.
Know if we can get the money back because, like we said, because he's underground, we don't really know what his economic status is, so we're not really sure if we can get the money back. But I mean, for me, a pro would be that he wouldn't cont anybody else. And also, like I guess his justification is like because like my brother and I don't have a college fund anymore. You know, like it's just like, yes, some types of justice, so you.
Believe that that money is just kind of gone and not coming back, and that there's no legal action that you can take to get it back.
Essentially, yeah, that's like worst case scenario because there isn't even like a lot of evidence. I guess you can say because you know, my mom didn't expect her brother to jobble across her like that, you know, like it was all like word of mouth cash exchange.
I mean, listen, man, this feels like it's all a question of where your values lie, because your whole thing is that the advantages of taking of pressing charges would be that he can't do this to anyone else, and you can get him off the streets, to stop scamming people or doing whatever it is he does in this line of work that's not good. You could do that, but it would be at the risk to yourself, and you know, the question is whether or not you are willing to take that risk in order to see some
kind of justice. I don't think you are right or wrong either way. If you think that continuing to be involved in this situation with your uncle will put you or your family in danger, I don't think it would be remiss of you. I don't know if I'm using that word right, but whatever, I can say whatever I want on here, I don't think it would be a remiss of you. It doesn't matter now it means something. I don't think it would be that bad of you to call it quits and just continue living your life
and ignore that your uncle ever existed. But if you really want to see him off the streets, and you really do feel like whatever he's doing is vile enough that it's worth putting yourself at risk, then that's a decision that you can make. But where are you leaning towards now.
It's just like, like, at this point, we're all pretty frustrated because my entire family wants different things. Like I personally just I do want him to face a little bit of justice for his actions, but like with least amount of coms possible, Like if there's a way that we can just like I don't know, like make him give us back the money, like quietly or something like something chilled, then like that'd be enough for me. And then he just disappears, like.
Not like death, but like just have you been talking to a lawyer.
Not a lawyer, Well, yeah, kind of a lawyer, like in between a police officer a lawyer and like a PI kind of situation.
Okay, does that situation that you described, you know, according to the people that you've been working with, does that situation that you've described exist?
Kind of not, because what would end up happening is because there are not there is not a lot of evidence. They would basically find him, drag him into the light and kind of see if he's done any other illegal stuff over there and kind of pin him for that, and then we'll see what we can get from that.
Okay, So you say everybody in the family wants different things, What does the rest of the family want.
Well, my mom's pretty distraught because you know, that's her brother of like life. So she's pretty like, you know, I just she doesn't really want to deal with that anymore. My dad, he does want to kill him because he you know that my dad has worked, Ye, my dad he brought our family here from over there, so he has worked pretty hard for what we have, So for something like that to happen was pretty was pretty bad. So that was essentially his life saving just went away
over something so stupid. And my brother, he he's kind of like bummed. He's kind of like man, you know, like he like, I don't really give a shit about like my college stuff. But it's like a really break kid. And he got accepted into like a lot of college places and he's not able to go because we just we don't have it.
Hm hm. So getting the money back is not on the table. It doesn't sound like.
Honestly, I don't think so it's it's like the least pressing manner that they have over there.
Because it's like, well, Regina, well, Regina, Regina. Look, I mean, if you're asking me personally, I'm not a big vengeance guy. I'm not a big justice guy. I'm you know, when something like this happens. I'm on the side of like, Okay, this happened. What can I personally do now to make my life better as a result. You know, I accept the things I can't control. So if the money is gone and it's gone and you can't get it back, then you know, I would accept that and then figure
out the best way to move on. If it takes a bunch more time, energy, and maybe even more money to get a lawyer, then you have to ask yourself if it is worth your time. And I assume that your mom and your dad are doing the heavy lifting on this, and that you're sort of in the background. And while you're in the background, I would remove yourself from the situation a little bit. You're trying to one years old. What do you do? Are you in college? No,
you're not in college right now? Are you working?
Yeah? I see stray cats.
You said you save stray cats.
Yeah, I save them, and I see them.
For like cash.
Okay, great, so o, Regina. I would lean into whatever you're doing with your own life. I would sort of you know, I mean, your parents are gonna do what they're gonna do. They're adults. I mean, you're an adult too, But you know what I mean, I would just lean into your own life right now and not spend so much more because your uncle has already taken so much
away from you. Don't let him take away your time and your mental energy as well, because that's also a finite resource that you don't want to give away to him when you can be focused on doing other things. Does that make sense?
Yes, yeah, thank you for your unbiased opinion. I really appreciate that.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Honestly to you, Gek, I really love your stream and I watch them as much as I can, and you know, those two out there listening, and they really appreciate you, you know, chat it's pretty lively. They're great. Everybody's great.
Thank you, Hey, thank you Regina, and thank you for saving those cats. I'm sure they appreciate the food and stuff.
Yeah, hopefully.
Hey, have a goo night, Regina.
Thank you, Thank you too.
Goes on the line thanking your phone calls every night. An expert