Hello, what's up everybody, how you guys doing. Welcome to the Therapy Gecko Podcast. Thanks for being here. I'm feeling pretty good today. Actually, I am back from Japan and I am chilling and ready to talk to some people on the phone today. As of recording this, it is March eighth, twoenty twenty five. I'm feeling pretty good. It's
interesting to still be here. I know that's a weird thing to say, but I think I always thought that once you hit a certain age, you just explode and you become you know, it's hard to like imagine you ever have those things where like you can't even imagine what life is like at a certain time, and then you're there and you're like, oh, I'm still me. I'm still here. I didn't just explode. Life just keeps going. And I think that feeling used to Oh, I'm live
on Twitch. Someone on the twitch chats that they turned sixty two last year. How are you feeling? Wooll fourth turning sixty two. I'm curious, But anyway, you know, I'm actually feeling pretty good today. I'm ready to take some phone calls. I'm ready to talk to people. I've been doing a lot of gek mail lately because I don't think I was in as great of a position to take phone calls. But now I feel good and I actually feel pretty ready to talk to some people on
the phone. So I'm gonna do that right now.
Hello.
Hello, oh hello Lyle.
Yes is this h Janet?
It is yes, indeed, Janet.
Well, Janet, I'm calling you back for you sent me a text. But I read an email on one of the mare gek mails from a woman who married her horse. I believe me, and I believe that is you, and so I am.
That is me. Did you have a picture?
I did see the picture. I did see the picture. So, uh you for people who didn't hear that email or that episode or whatever, and if do you want to just give us some context of you know, what happened?
Sure?
So I I for my sixtieth birthday, I had a wedding party. So I made a suit for my horse out of a blanket, you know, a horse blanket. I converted it and he had a tie and everything, and I had some socks on his legs and I had a bouquet of carrots and uh, yeah, it was a who It was really fun And.
You are there would have been the benefits thus far of marrying your horse.
Uh, well, you know, I don't even have the horse anymore.
So, oh no, what do you mean you sold the fucking horse? That's Janet. That's so fucked up up things. You got married to a horse and then you sold it?
What did you.
Well the reasons, I'm taking care of my mom full time right now. She's just menia and so that's time consuming and the expense very very expensive. So yeah, since I sold my horses, I have money.
Now can I ask it? And it's okay if it's a personal question you would like not to answer. I'm kidding. What do you sell a horse for? What's the horlet looked like?
Uh?
So I sold him for two thousand dollars. And then I had another horse. I had two horses at one time, and so I sold the other horse for five thousand dollars. So the other horse was younger and had well, they both had papers, but I just felt like she was more valuable mayor, she was a mayor, she was younger.
What else are you in the horse? The horse you sold? Are you guys divorced? Are you still married? Yeah?
I don't see him anymore at all. We have no kids together, so well, thank.
God for that.
What else is going on in life? Janets?
Well, I just bought a travel trailer. Cool, so U thirty foot trailer and mom is currently on hospice. So we're looking at months not years, and so I'm looking at My next adventure is traveling a little bit with my camper and yeah, and then eventually I want to settle in Pennsylvania. I love the Hershey Harrisburg area in Pennsylvania.
Yeah, like Hershey Park.
Well do you know penn National Racecourse?
No?
I never heard of it.
Okay, small track in near Harrisburg. It's in Grantville, Pennsylvania, And so I worked there when I was much younger. I did you know galloped racehorses and ponied horses and hot locked horses. And I'm actually going to come full circle back to that lifestyle again.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think I'll be riding exercising.
How long have horses been a part of your life?
Yeah?
Pretty much since I was seven. I started writing lessons. Cool, so yeah, I took ten years of lessons and then I got my own horse and did four h and then I went to horse management school and managed to race horse farm, worked on the track, worked on a dude ranch, and then decided to do something safer, So I went back to school to be a veterinary technician.
Yeah, yeah, how.
Long did do How long did you do that for?
I did ten years in small animal practice, and then I did twenty years in research. So I worked with mice and rats, and I even I did blood collection and injections and surgery and wrote some papers and invented some things cool and yeah. Yeah, it was a good, good life. And then ended up back in small animal practice for a while, right before I started taking care of mom and.
For for all this time were you where were you located?
Michigan, Michigan. So I worked at the University of Michigan a little bit at Wayne State University also cool cool?
Yeah yeah?
And where taking care? Where is your mom at? Where are you taking care of her at home?
We lived together our in a house.
Yeah, we're still still in Michigan.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, we like Michigan. But I'm ready to ready to move again.
Yeah.
And you know you told me a little bit in the email that you sent that I read that you want to do You're going to do a podcast where you interview folks about the paranorma.
I thought about that. So I have a lot of ideas. I always, you know, I'm thinking about what I can do. And because I don't want to take so security till I'm sixty seven seventy, maybe you know I'm perfectly capable of working. But oh, podcasting. I love the idea of podcasting and talking to people, but I don't like the idea of doing all the work editing and posting and advertising and generating clicks and you know all that.
Well, you know, well, let me ask you this, do you like? Because I'm curious, do you when you think about like doing a podcast, is it like something you like? Would the podcast need to make money for you to like be able to do it or do or do you have are you able to just do it?
Well, that's a good point. I guess I wouldn't. Maybe i'd have to have a job. I don't. I do need income, So I suppose I could do it on the side spare time kind of thing for fun.
Because well, here's the thing, is like, well, so people the listeners can tell from the ads, but like the phone call podc this podcast, you know, I do for a living, but I do another kind of version of my show where I like do it in person, you know, and like I set up my little and I actually might start doing more episodes like that on you know, I might start releasing more episodes like that on audio on like uh, you know, this podcast on Spotify and
Apple podcasts and stuff. But I've recorded several of those episodes where like I'm out on the streets interviewing people, and I've just I've just I don't know why, but I just haven't even posted the you know, I haven't even posted them because probably because I got lazy or whatever. But it was like it was like I have episodes like that recorded that I never posted, but I don't. I'm not tripping out about it, because it's like I
just liked doing the interviews. I just liked being set up and getting to chat with folks that I never would have chatted with before. And I just liked it. So I mean, look, I guess that's I say all this to say to you that, like, you know, unless if you I don't know, if your whole thing is like you have a hankering to build whatever, but like you could goddamn very well just take a camera, take, take your I take. You could take your iPhone or whatever.
You could do a minimal, cheap, crappy setup, hint record you know, uh uh set up the just to get people to talk, and and like, you don't you don't have to, you know, go u crazy. You don't have you don't have to start a clip page and make Instagram reels and yeah, I mean you know, like post the thing. You can just post it on YouTube. I'm sure you know folks channel. Yeah, Chanel, it doesn't. I guess what I'm saying to you is like the you
don't like you the the the intensive labor. Sure, if you want to and if you really want to make like a business out of it, and you really want to do whatever you can. In fact, you know, do do do labor intensive clipping and uh YouTube thumbnails and all that stuff. But if you're just doing a podcast for fun, it can be it can truly be as labor intensive as you want it to be.
I love that.
Yeah, yeah, just keep it simple, make it fun. It's not like I'm trying to get rich off it. I'll have my part time job so I have enough income to survive in my little trailer. Yeah, good way to meet people in the community.
And also another thing is, you know, I don't know you. There may maybe you uh you know, I know you you you said you worked at a university.
I did you know?
Maybe I don't know. If there's any Internet savvy folks in your life who might be able to help you out a little bit, you know. That's that's another option, if if, if you know that happens to be a thing in your life, right. But yeah, again, that's that's the thing is like it can be as you don't like when you you know, I I assume that because you are familiar with me that you're on you know, Instagram and TikTok or whatever, and I'm sure you I am.
Well, my daughter introduced me to you like four years ago.
Cool.
Yeah, And actually you were in Romulus at one time. Does that ring a bell? Romulus, Michigan.
Uh hold on, let me it was four years ago.
Romulus, Michigan. Rom Yeah, uh am, I hell on? Where is that is that near Lansing?
No, it's near Detroit.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've been Detroit a few times. Yeah, I've been to Detroit, like yeah, three times.
Yeah, uh yeah, yeah you were at this. I'm super close to Romulas. Cool, but I actually had breast cancer at the time. It was right after I was.
Diagnosed.
You came in February twenty three, so I couldn't go.
Well hopefully I'll well, well, you know, I might do another tour in twenty twenty six. I'll try to come back to uh to Detroit's. Yeah, but anyway, Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, I'm sure you see like people you clips or whatever. But yeah, like like I said, it didn't have to be it. It can be as labor intensive as you want it to be, or it could just be like a fun passion project that you
do just because you want to talk to people. And I'm in that too a little bit because again, like this podcast, this version of the podcast, like taking phone calls and stuff is like, you know, my my business and career and whatnot. But like the the stuff that I do outside of this where I'm just chatting with people on the street is you know, I just do that because it's fun. Yeah, that's why sometimes I don't even post the episodes.
Huh yeah, yeah, I like that idea. Yeah, I have all kinds of random stuff on my you tube channel. It started with horse training because I had a farm where I boarded and trained horses. So it's got some It's Equine Charm School. Drop the name.
Oh hold on, yeah, okay, let's get another plug. Go and how do you spell equine e.
Q U I n E.
School charm school? Well, you know either way, I mean, I love the idea. I love Oh is it Kennedy Equine Center.
Nope? No, Equine Charm School?
Oh this is you Janet?
Yeah?
Yeah, wow, cool, cool, cool. Well, I love it. I think it's I think it's awesome. I'm I'm I'm I am, I am uh truly, I I am inspired by you continuing to at all states of your life reinvent yourself and try new things and do something that I think that's like the coolest fucking thing.
Oh, definitely have done a lot of that, I'm sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, I did some traveling, did a lot of career changes, and yep, just keep moving forward.
Yeah.
I actually actually invented a device that made anesthetizing cats and rats in my safer for people and less stressful for the animal, but it just never took off. I put a lot of time and money into it, and eventually, finally, after like fifteen years, I finally dropped it. And I still have parts, like maybe I'll go back and do something with it.
But yeah, what is anesthetizing?
So putting to sleep for surgery?
Oh oh oh oh you made you invented a thing that allows you to put mice to sleep so you can do surgery on them.
Yeah, it made it safer for people because the way they currently did it exposed people to a lot of the gas. You know how they put a face mask over your nose and tell you to breathe and you're breathing that gas. Well, in the research world.
You have a box. It's a little box like.
Five by eight size. You put a mouse in there and you fill it with the gas, and the mouse goes to sleep, and then you open the box and all that gas escapes into the air and you're breathing it, which is not good for you. So I came up with the way that sucked the gas out of the box before you opened it.
M that's cool that they care enough about mice to sleep before.
Oh yeah, oh there's yeah, yeah. There's a lot of rules and regulations and oversight and and they're pretty you know, pretty, it's very well regulated.
So that's not how I thought it was. I thought that they were just like I thought that I thought in general, the consensus in the scientific community was just fuck mice.
Well, yeah, it depends who you ask. I guess, I mean because and that's where I found my niche because scientists, biologists, you know, they know their research, they know they're a lot smarter than me in a lot of ways, but they don't know how to handle the mouth, and a lot of times they didn't have the respect for the animal.
So I was.
Able to go in and help them do things better, more respectful for the animal, and better for the animal, and safer for them, and help them, you know, past all the inspections and regulations and things like that.
Nice nice, nice, nice. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. You're, uh, you got divorced from I mean, I don't you didn't even get divorced. You just I think the horse, well whatever, Actually, I mean, I guess he probably didn't know a lot because he's a horse, or maybe he knows horses no stuff. Sometimes.
Yeah, yeah, they have good memories, for sure.
Janet, Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Yes, I would say that, uh, do you agree that animals sleep and they dream?
Do I agree that animals dream? I think so?
Yeah.
Like I've seen, uh, I got a Golden Retriever back home with my family and I've seen it have nightmares and ship.
Yeah, like they're running and they were, so their unconscious mind is dreaming, right, So if they have an unconscious mind, they have a conscious mind. And if they have a conscious mind, they are pretty similar the way they think. There's a lot of differences, but they have feelings, they have consciousness.
Well, thank God for for consciousness. I don't know why, but I.
Said, no, you did well.
Thank you very much, Janet.
Awesome, thanks for calling.
Have a good one all right, love you, love you too. Bye.
Nah.
People got they got people. Gotta be telling them I love them again. Ah. Fuck, I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't leave Janet on hold. I'm not but you know what, whatever, whatever, who cares about anything? Who cares about anything? I feel good right now. That was a nice converse issue with Janet. I feel good right now. I've been talking a lot about Uh. I think I've been talked a lot of the past few episodes about uh being in like a
weird existential crisis state and the antidote to that. Besides you know, I mean fucking you know, I'm gonna go get on meds or whatever. But I think the antidote to that is like bringing yourself back to uh fucking reality by uh, like doing things, not giving your brain too much time to just fucking spiral. So I, yeah, feeling good. Hello, Hello, Hey, what's up man? How you doing good?
Are you doing?
H I'm actually doing pretty good.
Uh.
I haven't taken phone calls in like a week or two. I was just kind of focusing on like chilling out and stuff. And I'm actually I'm feeling pretty good. I feel very connected to reality in this very moment.
That's good. You're sorry in Japan, right, Yeah.
It was. I was in Japan for two months. I might go back. I have no I kind of don't really know what I'm gonna do with my life moving forward, but yeah, I might go back. It was a great time. It was a great time. It's interesting being back in New York. It's a different vibe, but there is it is nice to be in a place where you speak the language and you feel a little bit more like you belong there in some sense. But yeah, man, that's that's what's up with me? What's up with you? Sir?
Oh goodness, sorry, I'm like very nervous. I know, the lowest sikes thing I'll ever do. I've just I've just been calling for a while. I've been listening to you for a while. You got me through a very rough breakup, So thank you for that. Cool cool, yeah, yeah, but right now, let's see just like, well what I want to talk about kind of.
Yeah, sure, sure, I mean any anything, man, I'm not I'm not pressed. Well yeah, yeah, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean I've been listening to you and when one reason I really resonate with you is because you're you went to school for film, uh, and so have I. I'm in Denver right now, I've got a film degree, and I'm kind of just like I'm so back and forth between I got something I can do something with this, and also like it's a waste
of my time. Sometimes I'll just kind of feel like an idiot because I do a little comedy sketches, you know, and there's such a back and forth between I really got something here, I gotta keep trying, or you know, it's time to do something else.
Okay, When you well, yeah, I'm I'm curious about a few things. When you say I really got something here, what does that mean? What do you feel like you've got?
I feel like I got to create a bone, you know. I feel like I can't be doing anything but creating. Yeah. I love comedy. I love sketch comedy. I love everything about it. And every time I'm like filming something, I create something. There's no other feeling like that for me. It's it's Yeah, it's such a great feeling to really have something out there that's like mine.
I don't know, so uh if you really so, I guess what's the dilemma here? Is like are you is it?
Like?
You know, here's here's the thing. And I'll go on a little bit of a spiel. Is it like dreaming of being able to do it for money?
That's also the struggle because like, I just posted something on YouTube. I just revamped everything. It's like my first video up there, and I know it's such a stupid thing to post something and hope for views and like attention, because that's kind of what it's all about. But at the same time, if I'm not posting stuff because I like it and it's authentic to me, then there's no point. But I I feel so driven by like by views and not same but like like a following and yeah, you want.
People to see it. Yeah, if you're gonna work hard on something, yeah you want people to see it.
Yeah exactly, Yeah, yeah.
How long you've been doing this for? So?
I mean, I it all started because I was on decided coming into college, and so was it like my sophomore year of college. I was like, I have no fucking clue what I want to do. And then there's film club, you know, and then I made Uh, I pitched my idea and we made it. It's like a film noir stoner murder mystery and our bond gets murdered. So that that was super fun and I just really fell in love with it from there, and so I kind of been on and off, but right now I'm
trying to be more consistent with it. But yeah, that's whet started with me. And right now I'm at I got like a few videos in my stockpile, and I'm trying to upload weekly.
Are you uh, you just graduate from college? Like, are you like twenty two?
Yeah, I'm twenty two, but I got my last quarter here coming up, so I'm about to graduate, and it's been freaking me out.
It's freaking you out about it.
It's just I feel like I'm very reliant on my parents still, and it's kind of like leaving college, especially going into something that's like intense, as like film, trying to break into that because you've got to be NonStop and relentless, you know, you gotta be able to take it on the chin. And sometimes I worry about having
that just thought I've been having. It's like that hunger almost if that makes sense, like really being hungry for it and if it's yeah, but it's sometimes I'm sitting there and it's I struggle with being productive and doing things I want to do, and sometimes I'm like, am I hungry? That's something that some people just have and some people don't or do I have to tap into it?
Yeah, I've wondered that too. I Mean some people are just like it's it's interesting sometimes you like see other people and you just have this image in your brain that like something in their fucking like brain chemistry allows them to like flawlessly, with zero resistance do things, and you get a little bit jealous. You're like, well, fucking I wish that my brain worked that way, and I don't. It's interesting because I do actually believe that some people
are just wired fucking differently than other people. But with with the stuff that you're telling me, now that I've like, I'm from a place of like, oh, I've run the gamut of like, uh, you know, having a following and all that stuff is like, well do you do do you stand up or do you do anything? Like in person?
I don't do anything in person, which I've been really I need to get my uh what do they call it? The five minute stand up? There was it? Quote? Again, I don't know, but I've been like wanting to get into it, you know, but I gotta like sit down and write an act.
Are you are you gonna stay in Denver? Like is that where you grew up?
I I grew up in Virginia. Okay, Yeah, I came out to Denver for school and just kind of shows film out here after the fact. But yeah, Denver has a pretty good stand up scene.
Yeah, are you. Are you planning to hang out in Denver? Are you gonna try to go to like l A. Are you gonna go back to Virginia? Are you just kind of gonna go wherever you can find a job?
Yeah?
See that that's another thing. This is why I like the whole graduating costs. It's like freaking me out because I got nothing planned out. You know, I'm trying to think like I can if like I am uploading these YouTube videos and I have my like group of friends out here who help me out, I'd stay here and keep doing that and work a job.
Do you friends your friends out there in Denver?
Yeah?
I got lots of good friends right here.
And and do you make videos with them?
Yeah?
You know, so I have a lot. I have a lot of thoughts about your situation. Actually, I have a lot of thoughts.
I'd love to hear them.
What I would say is that, first of all, the fact that you're like a young guy and you have friends that want to make videos with you, please please understand, please understand this that having a following is great and all, but having a being like a young guy and having a group of like other young folks and you're together making videos and you're having fun whatever you do through your attempts at trying to be viral and trying to
have a following. Still, you know, there's a lot of like, you know, we could sit here and do business class and I could say things like, you know, you have to kind of make content in the context of short short form video, and the way that they kind of teach you to make stuff in film school is completely antithetical to how things work in the real world. And those are all things you should be thinking about and whatever, and you should still be striving to have a following.
But just please the fact that you've got a good group of friends and you guys are making videos together and you're talking about jokes and you're laughing, and maybe you get into the stand up scene in Denver or the sketch scene in Denver, and you work, you're fucking whatever thing you need to do to make money during the day, and you're hanging out with your friends making stuff at night, revel in how much fucking fun that is.
You know, don't be too don't be too like if you get don't be too hung up on like, oh, I gotta get out of my day job, like, you know, if you got to fucking go wait tables or be a barista or whatever and live in a thing with like five other dudes. You know, just at least for right now, just just revel and how fucking fun that is.
Like you, you just are in such a position to just have so much fun, you know, regardless of how many people like are seeing the shit and you it's still it's good to I think, be ambitious and to be like, Okay, that didn't work. Maybe we try it like this, and maybe you scroll on TikTok one night and you're like, oh, this person's doing it like that. Maybe I'll try something like that, like just if anything.
But the thing I want you to know is like revel in the joy of the process of where your life is at right now, because from where I sit, your life seems really cool and fun, you know, to have again to confidence and have a group of friends that want to make this videos with you, and to be in a place like Denver where it's like, you know, it's not as cut throat and fucking like you know, brutally expensive and vast and expansive as as you know in La or in New York, or whatever, But there's
still so many I don't know exactly what the comedy scene is, like their shout out to what is it? The comedy comedy work, Shout out comedy work. I love the comedy Works.
You got the comedy just going there tonight?
Oh who you seeing Josh Oh cool cool, shout out the Comedy Works. That's one of my favorite comedy clubs in the country. It's a great place. But like, dude, go do the open mic at the comedy works. Go explore the old scene. Go start a sketch show at some fucking bar, Go do right your five minutes and get into the thing, and your friends go with you.
Like I don't know, Just dude, Like you know, here's the thing being having a following, and like you know, it's it's, it's it's good, it's it's it's a good thing to strive for. But just the where you are right now is just so fun and you should just like enjoy the fun of it and enjoy the process of it. Because here's the thing. If you're not enjoying the process of it, right, it's like it's not gonna change suddenly once you have twenty four thousand TikTok followers
or whatever the fuck. So, I don't know, I'm excited about your life. I think it's you know, if that if that's helpful, if that makes you feel better in any way, shape or form. You know, I think you're entering actually a very fun and exciting time, you know, where you're in a community and you're in this thing with your friends. I think it's cool. So that's that's my I don't know if that's advice, that's just my that's my perspective on your situation.
No, that's I mean, that's really just they you know, if I if I spend my time going after the following, because that's just kind of a byproduct, like you said, just spending time with your friend, you know, doing doing
like something you love so much. And I'm just like recently, I'm just so strung tight, you know, really anxious about everything going on, when I could just really kind of and enjoy what I'm doing because I didn't really think about it, like you said, Because even if I have to wait tables or whatever, I get to like, you know, twenty two, I'm young, and I get to go out there and do all that stuff, and it's just yeah, it's just figuring that out without like I don't know,
I say, the anxiety of it all just kind of gets to me and it kind of kind of it can take away from that.
Lot is the is the anxiety? Is the anxiety about? I mean, I know it's about a lot of things, but like if you had to pick it apart, you know, what's it about?
Yeah, I mean definitely recently it's been what the hell am I doing after college?
Huh?
Because I mean there's just god, there's just so much. I've been going back and forth on.
Yeah, go ahead, what are the options?
Yeah? I mean right now, I mean I'm graduating with just a film degree, and I know how you feel about film degrees, and I'm like, I'm trying to figure out if I go back to school and get a second degree for a.
Second and get a second degree for what?
Right Well, I was thinking like going back to marketing and then I could do something with like commercials or production commercials stuff like that, but then like exactly for what? And then it's just kind of like a is it a split focus thing if I go back and get a second degree, or should I just like graduate with my film degree? And run with it, you know, yeah.
I mean are you are you no shame in it? By the way, but are your parents helping out or would you go into more debt?
No, my parents are helping me.
All right, all right, I mean another I'm not I'm personally not a fan of like getting another degree, especially if it's like if you want to go I mean look, yeah, like, well are you thinking like you're going to go like be a PA or something?
Uh goodness. So, I mean I I've talked to people in the industry and because I like directing and writing my sketches, and then they're always like, if if you go in and be a PA, you're gonna be stuck in the kind of the crew side of things. So like they're saying, go work at an agency. Was there a suggestion, what kind of interesting like an acting agency?
Oh okay, it's not a horrible idea.
Yeah, because they're like, the only thing you need is is like grassroots connections, so you go work at one of those. And she was like, don't go to grad school, go work here that you'll learn everything you need to know.
I don't. I also don't. I also don't love the idea of a second degree.
Yeah, why do you say that?
I'm curious, well, cause like what do you? What do you? I guess I just don't nothing you've said that you aspire to do. Requires If you told me that you wanted to do biology research, I'd be like, yeah, you need a second degree. Or if you told me you wanted to be a lawyer, I'd be like, yeah, you need a second degree. But it being like you've said nothing where that makes me feel like you need to go get a second degree.
Yeah. I think I'm almost like preemptively planning my failure if that makes sense. Oh sure, I'm kind of like making a fall black plan. I was even thinking of going back again, like like a teacher certificate, so I could do that.
While I'm like, yeah, but you could. You can always do that later, you know. I don't know if I'm again, if I'm, if I'm you, I'm I'm like, uh okay, I'll do whatever thing to make money. And if it's
film adjacent, then great. PA work sucks ass though, And it's not gonna if you because if you're if you're a PA, then you're gonna be like, by the way, just for the listeners, I know, that, uh, this conversation might be alienating to ninety nine percent of people, but rarely do I feel it's it's f funny because sometimes people will ask me for advice on stuff and I'll be like, I don't know what the fuck to say, but this, being twenty two and graduating from film school,
I'm like this, I feel actually genuinely very primed to give advice about this, So I'm that's why this conversation has lasted so long. But anyway, Uh, you know, yeah, Pa, work would suck because you don't want to be in some job that's like, you don't want to be in some job that's like eighty fucking hours a week, you
know what I mean? Like, yeah, do some shit that's like if it's industry adjacent, then great, but if it's just some fucking bullshit nine to five marketing job in Denver, and like at night you can go out and do stand up and make sketches with your friends. Like again, I think that you can have a fun, cool life. You can have a fun, cool early twenties doing that. I really do think that's it's it's fun to I don't know. Again, I don't know exactly what's going on
in the Denver scene. But there's something going on, and you know, you can build locally by again having sketch showcases, and if you have a bunch of friends there, that's great. I mean, you know, by the way, like when you're saying like because you said to me, you were like, oh, I really got something, you know what I mean. The potential of being able to make a living or the fleshing out of the thing that you feel like you've got is not going to happen in your day job.
It's gonna happen on the internet, and it's gonna happen when you're hanging out with your friends talking about comedy and making jokes and doing things in the physical Denver scene.
So I don't I really just wouldn't stress out about your day job that much, you know, I mean, I wouldn't stress out about any of this stuff that much because again I would just be reveling in the fun of it, because it is such a it is a joyous thing I think to be a part to have a community of friends and people who you can work on this kind of stuff with. So that's what that's
That's okay, that's the baseline. I would go at this from it's like, I'm having fun making stuff with my friends, and I'm making enough money that I can live on my own without my parents' help. And then on top of that, and then on top of that, you can go like what's best for the algorithm or you know, whatever the fuck. But so that's that's that's all I really have to say.
Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, that makes perfect sense. And right now I'm trying to figure out how to just relax a little bit, you know, yeah, yeah that should go well. But yeah, you you inspired partly. I think you subconsciously inspired the sketch I just uploaded. It's a guy in a frog costume. It looks a lot like the geck across the Magic frog Man.
The Magic frog Man.
I love it, The Magic Man.
I love it. I love it. I feel I feel like a magic frog Man every day. That's not even really are what's your name again? Pierce? Yeah, Pierce, Pierce, great talking to you, Piers. I'm again if it makes I hope it makes you feel better. I hope it makes you feel better too that I'm sitting here and I'm like, oh, this guy sounds like he's in a fun adventure.
Yeah, totally. I mean also makes me feel better seeing someone as like creative as you making it. You know that always helps.
Well, thanks man, I appreciate your kind words. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Yeah? Would you be cool with me shouting out my YouTube channel? Yeah?
Go ahead, go ahead.
Yeah, it's a dumpster champagne. One word.
Hold let me, I'm gonna audit. You hold on dumpster champagne, Yeah, dumpster sham pain? How fuck do you spell champagne? Hold on?
I know, right?
How the fuck? Hold on? Dump dumpster?
Oh?
Campaign a right? Dumpster said? How do you fucking spell this again?
C h A MP? Oh my god? Wait yeah, oh wait, I got it, I got it, got it?
Okay the magic frog man. Okay, here you go. This is you. You look? Why what is this? A? Is this a mug shot?
Okay? So funny, funny story. I was trying to get into Uh there's like a school trip to India and I had to get a visa, but I didn't have like a passport photo. So I showed up like like ten minutes late to my passport photo picture. They maybe put on that like the purple shirt, and then they took that picture and I wasn't allowed into India. Actually, they wouldn't let me in.
Oh ship, do you have to wait? Do you the way? Wait? Do you show up at the airport and they sent you back?
No. I was trying to apply for a visa. I literally went to the embassy in DC and they denied me like four times.
Well they don't want fuck them, fuck them all. I don't just never mind. All right, man, have a good rest of the night. Pre al right.
I love you, Ba, you.
Know, like I said, I know I alienated a lot of I know that was a I know that was an inside baseball kind of a call. But you know again, it's like that's a bit of the perspective I think I've gained over the years of doing this, and because I spent some time in like a local comedy scene when I was in college and whatnot. Is like it's
just fun. Like I think you forget that you always when you're like doing things and you're kind of trying to make a living doing it or trying to make a name for yourself or a following or whatever, you kind of forget that, Like oh this is supposed to be fun, you know, but good luck, Pierce. Hey for real, Hey, Hey, Hey, what's uh? What's that? What's your name?
My name is a little bit hard to pronounce, but I hope you try your best.
It's moaz moiz mois what's up? Where are you calling from?
I'm from Germany. Actually, well I was born and raised in Syria, but I've been living here for the good part of nine months. So nine months, nine years I meant, sorry, so yeah, yeah.
Okay, nine years from Syria. I've been living in Germany for nine years.
Yeah, exactly, Yeah.
Cool Man's what's happening with you?
Well, I'm going to be completely real with you. It's around eleven pm right now, and I was feeling incredibly lonely and a little bit depressed, and I got a notification that your stream started, and yeah, I've been listening to your show for the past few years now three years, I guess, since the pandemic cool or actually, yeah, the pandemic is now five years ago. Yeah, a long time listener, first time caller to guess. Definitely a big sound of the show man to guess.
Thank you, sir. Great to hear from you. What's as your Uh yeah, I'm familiar with eleven PM loneliness depression for sure. What's uh? I mean, well, it's you know what's funny is I've been thinking a lot, Like I was about to ask what was on your mind? And then I was kind of like, you know what's funny is I'm really I've talked about this on the podcast before, probably recently, but like I'm really torn between like it
is the cure for depression or whatever? Is it like talking through your problems or is it distracting yourself from your problems? And you know, I don't know, I haven't come to an internal consensus on that, but well let me ask you are you feeling? Are you feeling a talk through or a distraction?
I'm actually more on team distraction, so to be honest with you, yeah, because you know, in the last few years, whenever I listened to your podcast, kind of an afterthought that I have is what would I want to talk to you about whenever I eventually make it, And so what I always thought about was telling you about, you know, the last nine years of my life and what I've done with them since I've came to Germany. If you
would be interested in hearing that. I would be more you know than glad to tell you all.
About it you're here or hit me.
So, like I said, I was born and raised in Syria, and we came around here twenty sixteen with my family, so we're war refugees basically, and since then a lot has happened. I mean, I was seventeen years old at the time. I didn't speak any German or anything like that. But my parents were the typical immigrant parents, so you know, they wanted us to succeed as fast as we could
and as hard as we could sort of say. And so I went directly to a high school at the time and managed to get my diploma within the normal range three years. And after that there were way too many options open for me, so to say. And for the longest time, actually, I was really interested in video games, you know, playing video games and how they're made and all that, and so I was definitely interested in studying,
you know, game development. However, in Germany, and I guess all over the world most likely, that is not something offered in public universities or public colleges community colleges as they call them in the US. I guess, and so it was a privilege that I didn't have at the time, and so I decided to study computer science instead, and just last year I managed to finish my bachelor's degree. And yeah, I have to say, man, it's been an insane journey. A lot has happened. Last year in particular,
has been you know, an incredible milestone. I managed to finally get my German citizenship, I landed my very first you know, big corporate job, like I said, graduated UNI and everything. And I guess this year is starting off a little bit slower because there's not much going on anymore, and there's no goal to chase, if you know what I mean. And so I guess all this emptiness is kind of coming from that. Like ever since we came to this kind of new country, there's always been something
to chase and something to run after. But this year, in particular, there's not been anything to motivate me to you know, do more or like there's no new milestone to catch up to.
Does that make sense?
It makes eight thousand sense. But why and forgive me if you explained this already, but why is it that this year specifically, there's nothing to go after.
Well, you know, ever since we were here, I had either school or college, and there was always something for me to work towards, whether that's you know, finishing school or finishing college. But ever since I landed my job, I basically try to live for the weekend, and whenever I am at the weekend, there's kind of this dread of, oh, the week is about to start again, and I'm losing time and I'm not doing another and all of that. Even though please don't get me wrong, I love my job.
My job is, you know, everything that I've ever dreamed of and more. But it's still, you know, forty hours a week. You still spend more time at work than with your friends or family, And so I feel like life is passing me by a little bit. I guess, yeah, I don't know. Some it's like that in that realm, more or less, we're around the same age. By the way, I think, I'm like, I don't think i'm twenty six. I think you're twenty seven. I'm not sure, yeah, yeah, but yeah, m m.
Well, so you say that life is passing you by and that you don't have any like things to go after, and by the way, I'm having like a similar thing. Not to push it back to me, but like you know, I'm having a bit of a similar thing going on. I'm curious when you say that, like, don't you get to kind of decide for yourself if you have any things you want to push towards and in that sense, like do you not have any other goals or any other like things that you want to do.
Now that's a good question.
I mean I try to think about that around Christmas time, kind of setting my New Year's resolutions or goals for the coming year, and I was only able to think of really long term stuff like, for example, I'm single at a time being, and so I was trying to maybe get back into the dating world or maybe try out new hobbies and all of that. And then I was thinking about stuff even more long term, like eventually
buying a house or some sort of property. But that's not something you know, realistic in the next few years. But I have to some extent try to stick to those goals, you know, trying out new stuff of new hobbies, for example, magic the gathering. Actually, even though I'm not that big of a of a card game guy, I want I went to a local tournament recently, and it was it was pretty fun, even though a little bit
scary and a little bit intimidating. But uh yeah, but you know, like you said, at the end of the day, it's like eleven pm, I'm sitting here and talking to a guy with a on in a get go suit on the internet.
It's true. It's true. It's true.
You know.
Yeah. I've been thinking about this for myself a lot of like how do I because I have a weird obsession with like I you know, I kind of snapped recently and was thinking about how short life is, and like I want to be doing something every day to make it so that uh my, I was like, how am I gonna make make it so that at twenty seven, like when I'm thirty, like my life feels like it's progressing forward, you know, and then like what does that
look like? Does that look like some radical action or does that look like doing some shit for an hour a day?
You know?
And so I don't know. I guess it's like you, yeah, these long term goals, it's like how do you break them up into like some shit that you can do every day or every week or you know, like how do you make shit manageable, right, and like, what do you want yourself to look like in you know, X amount of years? You know, do you want to learn French or whatever? The fuck? And like yeah, how do you?
Oh god know, yeah.
Like how do you how do you progress? How do you move life forward? It's an interesting question. It's a conundrum I'm dealing with myself, and I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I'm just trying to like fucking pick something and do it and keep it going.
No, you don't have to worry about that, man, I mean, I guess it's at least comforting to know we're all in the same boat.
No, yeah, of course you can't. Yeah, you can never get out of it. You can never escape. I thought I could rest on my laurels for a little bit, because that's what happened is I was like, Okay, I was, I did this successful thing, and I can just rest on that. And there is a lot of I'm not I would be lying if I said there was zero comfort in that. But I also I also I was
talking to my friends the other day. No, it was like with my friend last night, and I was like, man, I don't want to be like, you know, thirty eight years old, ten years from now and being like, you know, I used to be the therapy gecko. You know what I mean. I gotta like keep figuring out shit to do. You know, your life never it never lets up funny, you know, I mean even even sorry, like.
A forty year old gecko, a fourty year old geck is pretty funny, you have to admit.
Yeah, I mean who who knows? But I mean even like our our caller from earlier, uh Janet, I mean she's sixty and she's was we were talking and she was like, yeah, I have plans and I have ideas and I have you know, things I want to do, and it's like, you know, it never ends. But that's like that's good, right because once you you don't want to be done, that's when you're just gonna wither if that happens. I don't know if anything I've been saying is relevant to any to what you were talking about.
But.
No, no, man, I told guess what you mean. This actually kind of reminds me of you know, the sissifs meme, the guy that's pushing the rock up the hill. Yeah, I guess we're all kind of in that motion, and you have to you have to imagine SIPs enjoying his his his journey.
You know.
It's not about the goal, it's about enjoying every day, enjoying pushing up that boulder.
Yeah, you know.
Yeah, it's a way. It's a weird balancing act, right, because you want to just enjoy fucking life as it is. You want to be able to go see a movie without hating yourself, but you also wanna, you know, keep moving things forward. And everyone's brain is wired so differently, Like some people just genuinely don't Some people genuinely are very happy to just like not do anything and that's great. And other people are wired in this weird way where they're like, I have you know, I have to do
shit or else I will go insane. And it is probably something to be said about understanding your own wiring and making plays towards it. Man, it's so fun how it's so funny how I think about these things when I'm like talking about them to other people on my podcast, versus when I am alone and depressed at eleven pm on Reddit looking for answers of some kind. You know, I'm trying to watch less motivational content.
You know.
I'm like, I've I've found myself recently looking I'm like looking for answers, whether it's like on the Internet or from other people or whatever. And part of me throws up my fucking hands after. I like after, because supid Instagram. Right, you look at one motivational thing and then it's and then all of a sudden, now like it's everything. You know that it just keeps showing you and showing you, and I'm I'm like, the answer, I'm like, this tweet is not going to have the answer.
You know.
The answer is first of all, there might just not be an answer A and you have to accept that. And then second of all, the answer is going to be within my own stupid balls. So I got to look there and not on Reddit.
I guess, well, will you will you let me know if you find something in there.
I will let you know if I find something that's helpful in my balls for you.
Well, I actually wanted to say when you were on your on your Instagram thing. I love the hope core videos on TikTok. You know, the slide shows. Those always it for me.
Sometimes they're stupid.
Sometimes there's just full of dark soul memes, but you know, they hit the spot most of the time.
Yeah, I know, I like those too. I like those two. I think I'm just I'm at a point now where I'm just fed up with like, you know, at what point do I am? I? Like, you know, I trust myself enough that I don't need it. But maybe that's not true. Maybe that's bad. Actually, maybe it's good to be constantly trying to learn from other people and other things.
And you know, I mean that's one of the fun things about doing this podcast is uh, I'm constantly getting to like learn from other people, and then I get to share that with other people too, so you know, it's cool. Yeah, let me think what enoy you.
Know, as a watcher and a listener for a long time.
Sorry, no far, you go ahead, I was gonna say anything, Okay, I.
Was gonna say I was gonna that as a long time listener.
Uh, you know, for the past few years.
It's actually also very clear that about actually very clear how much you're learning about yourself in the in the whole process. You seem to, you know, kind of more and more share stuff about yourself and it's kind of you know, it makes the whole thing a little bit more authentic. You know, I know you're this is awn entertainment thing or whatever, but it still, you know, gives off a vibe of authenticity, which I think most listeners connect very well to.
And I think.
That's a part of why the show is so successful, whether it's you know, the live shows or the streams or the podcast itself. So, you know, kudos to that had thought.
Thanks man, Thanks man. I was gonna ask you where in Germany are you?
Oh, I am in Lower Saxony. I wouldn't want to, you know, say that exact city, but I'm on Lower Saxony. Actually. I bought tickets to see both of your show in Amsterdam and Berlin last year, and I was sick for both days. Around next year again or I don't know what I would do.
Yeah, I'll try. I'll try to come around. I'll try to come around. Yeah if I once, I gotta I gotta kind of build up some new act or some ship. But I'll try to come around. I always have a good time in Amsterdam and Berlin. Beautiful places, beautiful places. Huh what's your name again? I know you said, it's hard to pronounce.
Yeah, it's it's Moas, but worries people call me mo also, so that would be fun Moasas.
It's been lovely talking to you. It's been lovely talking to you, man. Is there anything else that you want to share with the people of the computer before we scadadle on out of here?
Keep grinding, keep hoping, and take care of your bets. And I really hope I end up on the podcast.
Oh yeah, this will be. This will be. This will be in the podcast. This will be in the podcast. Great, mo, take care, I have a go on, man, Bye bye bye. I liked that guy. That was a lovely, lovely guy.
Hello.
Hi, what's your name?
Miranda?
Miranda? What's up? Miranda?
Right now? Walking on some railroad tracks?
Okay? You you make? Are you doing like a like a Tumblr thing?
I guess it could be, but no, not really, I guess you know, Ashley, this is crazy. We started. I started. I took like a shroom gummy thing like about three hours ago m hm, and then walked to a science museum with for kids, went in there and now walking back on railroad tracks?
Are you are you tripping?
I was more but not not too much. Now, I kind of just feel like silly.
You kind of just feel like silly. That's good. That's good. Right, So you're you're in like a come down a little bit.
Yeah, but not in a bad way. I've had like bad comdowns. This one's kind of just like it's freezing cold out and I want to not be outside anymore. But it's like tolerable because it's just silly.
M M.
Well let me, I mean, it's a what what is it is? It's okay, it's completely okay if if not anything. But did you have something particular you wanted to talk about today?
Uh?
Dude, not really. I was just calling and calling and calling.
What is it that is? Well, let's do this. What's your life like, Miranda, what's going on in your in your universe?
Uh? I don't really know. I go to work and I also don't go to work sometimes. And I like to ski sometimes, and I like to go outside sometimes, yeah, but also I like to go inside.
Yeah yeah, but where.
Are you are you?
Where are you are you?
Like?
Walking through snow? I we're hearing a lot of snow crunches.
Yeah, that's that's the that's the snow yep. Nice, it's like it was. It was I don't know where you are. You felt this, but it was like fifty degrees for like a couple of days, and it was just a nice sneak peak to spring and summer. And so I've been thinking, like I need to go outside, like it's not as cold anymore, and then right now it's not working out for me. There's no more sneak peak.
Well, what's your plan for the rest of the day now that you've already uh done so much.
Well, my boyfriend's like walking so far behind me. I keep turning around and singing.
Oh, okay, cool, this is cool. I thought you were alone, which would be fine, but it's nice to have something with you.
No, I'm pretty much alone. He's like twenty five feet behind me. But I don't know. Today's like a weird day because I haven't remembered. It's kind of nice, but I feel like regularly I'm like super stressed out about absolutely everything. But today's a nice day to forget about life and just walk.
Okay, I won't. I want to ask you what's stressing you out? If we can just walk? How's your boyfriend?
Yeah, he's good. I think he looks good, he looks happy, he's I think he's also he was never surfing his head as like I actually in the beginning of this, we like parked at a trail head, like we were walking on snow like the whole time. We parked at a trail head and there was like a severed dear leg just like hanging out there. No body, just like the leg, and I had like just started feeling it, and so I was like, what's the fuck, Like what
is going on? And then we started walking on the trail and I looked back and my boyfriend would pick up the He's like chasing me with it.
Oh god, he picked up the severed deer leg. Dude.
Yeah, I was like, put that shit down.
What a fucking psychopath.
Yeah. It was kind of like I don't know, it must have been there. I don't know how long it was there for, but it was like dry. It wasn't like bloody. It was like it was like bone.
Does he still have it? Does he? Well? It's funny because I mean I know what it's like to be walking around and pick up a stick, right and be like, oh, I'm cool now I have a stick. But I don't know if i'd do that with a deer leg.
Yeah, no, no, I wasn't, dude. I was surprised it was in his hand. That's actually insane, and it was freaking out so I started running. But it's like, dude, I don't know. You never see just like a severed animal leg.
You don't. And that's probably a good thing.
Yeah, yeah, because you never see how the world really works outside of society, Like you just like having to kill for your food.
You never see how the world really works outside of society. Yeah, it sounds like this this deer leg really gave you made you do some kind of existential questioning.
Yeah, dude, I've never had to kill for my food, you know.
No, you just make other people do it for you. It's a great American way. I mean, it's a life way.
But we'll think about it and they become vegetarian, Miranda.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Go on a walk?
More?
Go on more walks?
I like that. I'll sign off on that.
All right, all right, take care of yeah you too?
By walking is good. I will sign off on that. Do I have anything else to say? About walking. Uh, it makes sense. It's probably my favorite thing to do is to walk around. Okay, that's all I have to say about walking. This has been a lovely episode. This has been really fun. Thank you guys all for listening. I am a gecko and uh yeah, I know, I know the past couple episodes have been me going insane slowly.
But it's such a weird thing with this podcast, man, like I'll have and this has been going on since it started. And maybe this perspective is helpful to people, maybe they can apply it to something going on in their own life. But it's it's so weird because I'll have like and again this has been going on all
five years that I've been doing this show. Is I'll have like a month where I'm recording this thing and I'm just like, I've fucking this is beyond me and I can't I like this feeling of like I don't know if I can be the like if I can like show up to this, you know what I mean. And then I'll have a month where I'm like, Wow, this is so awesome. I'm so stoked to get to talk to all these people and to have these like It'll just like like I'll be in my brain thinking
like okay, well that's this is all. That's all over, and you know now it's this is just uh, you know, it's just gonna be despair forever. And then I'll have a month where I'm like, wait, actually we're back. Things are good, life is real, the world continues, you know. And today today, recording the podcast today was definitely one of those times where I'm like, wait, this is actually
pretty awesome. So thank you guys for listening, Thanks everyone for calling, and I am excited to continue to be a get go and talk to people about life and stuff. Thank you very much. And oh once again, please'm in on Friday March fourteenth. Friday March fourteenth, I am doing an art exhibition in Bushwick, Brooklyn on March fourteenth from seven pm to ten pm and it's free and the closer. I don't actually know why I decided to do this. I was looking at my phone and I was like,
why the fuck am I doing this? And that? But you know what, why the fuck does anyone do anything? Come see my trash the exhibition. The exhibition is called Lyle Forever presents Trash from around my room. Uh, you can find the link in the episode description and uh you can put your phone number in there and I'll text you more details about it. And also if I'm doing anything else, it's in Brooklyn, New York. Uh come hang uh yeah, check the episode description for the link
to that. All right, thank you all very much for listening. GEK bless see you around the universe. See see you in a few days when I drop another episode of the podcast. As always, okay, thanks.
Akain goes on the.
Line taking your phone calls every nine every week.
And goes to just teaching you the line exper