“I QUIT VAPING TO PEG MY BF”

Hello, Hello, is this the get Go?

Yes, Hello, you texted me. You said you said you Oh godd ah, you said something. You said. Uh, my name is twenty two, and I want to talk about how I quit vaping to peg my boyfriends. How does that work? Why did you need to quit vaping to peg your boyfriends?

Okay, so I wanted to quit vaping, but it is one of the hardest addictions to to like get tasked. It's from like the top five according to doctors and stuff. But he knew that I really really wanted to quit vaping, and he knew that I really wanted to peg him. And he was like, you know, if you quit vaping and I'm a single, been a nicotine for three months, you get pegging privileges. You have rights to my untouched asshole.

Well, so this is uh, your boyfriend has incentivized you, offering up his his little asshole for you to.

So I'm not gonna die. Yeah I am. Well, I'm thrilled to share this story because to all the people out there wanting to quit the substance, wanting to quit something. Just find yourself a submissive ass boyfriend who will let you peg him if you quit it.

But just think about how great it would be to like take your hands and like open up his asshole and blow vape spoke into it.

Wait, that's such a good point, guy, that's crazy.

How has it?

So?

Has this been working so far? Have you quit vaping?

It is? Yes, it has because I had after so this rule was three months. If I quit for three months, then I have privileges. But then we just I actually I quit in I had my last vapin in August of last year, so I've definitely had August of twenty twenty three, so I've had lots of time to do the deed, and I've done a team bit of the deed. But it actually, after ninety days of now nicotine, it gets like you don't It's still like you want it and concept, but the withdrawals are put behind you.

And so has it been It hasn't been three months yet, has it? It has?

Yeah? And yeah? Yeah, so how was I've reaped the benefits of my reward.

It.

So what they don't tell you about anal is that you really gotta like build up to that point, and so I've not used the strap on him yet, but it is, it is so positively delightful. I cannot describe to you.

So what do you what do you? Is it fingers fists? What's going on?

Yeah?

Yeah, because I don't. It also was like I don't have a good time sometimes, you know. It's it's about finding that like from intakeer dominating time, and I didn't want to rush him into losing his anal virginity, you know, like I wanted to find a nice calm time. And there's only been a few times for that, even though it's been been so long since I've had access to

It sounds like this guy, uh, I mean, uh, it sounds like he always wanted you to peg him, but he needed some little extra thing to kind of get there.

This is probably true, but it's funnier whenever it's as a reward.

Because we had.

Been dating for like a all not a year, but almost a year whenever he threw it out there, because I'd always said I wanted to, but he was always scared. And it was more that after I like quit my like second hardest addiction. Weed was a tough one to quit. But I really worked through that one. But it's he always wanted it, but it's so scary, you know.

Mm hmm.

And he's actually in the room with me right now if you ever want to get his perspective.

But oh yeah, sure, sure, sure, let's talk to him. Let's talk to him.

Okay, here he is.

Ullo, Hey, what's up?

Man?

A right?

So are you do you do you vape? Do you do anything? What's your vice? What are you gonna do?

No? I personally don't vape.

I smoke weed like twice a month. I don't really do much.

I just play video games.

Mm hmm uh, So are you are you? You're not addicted to anything? There's not like a Hey, I'll quit playing video games and I can comb my fingers through your hair type of ship.

No, I'm not really addicted to anything. I I don't know. I don't do much.

How's how's being pegged? Ben?

Gone well, working up to it so far, just fingers, nothing crazy, that's cool.

Are you excited about it? Is this? Is this a positive, wonderful development in your life?

Yeah, definitely.

But honestly, the hardest part is just find the hardest time to do it, because like both she and I both live with people all the time, So like just finding like a.

Time where no one's no one's home to like.

You know, either catch us or like overhear anything.

That's probably the hardest part of all of it.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, what how many roommates do you have?

So normally I have two other people I live with.

When I'm in college, but right now I live with my parents for the summer, so yeah, two or three other people.

Usually you live with your parents, but so you live with your parents during the summer. Yeah, See, it must be nice when you leave because then they can peg each other because that's what they're waiting.

Possibly.

Possibly they're very they're very conservative, so I'm not sure about that.

Yeah, I mean, listen, here's the thing, the conservative stuff on the on the surface, but in the sheets we're getting a little liberal. Oh god, well, you can hand the phone back to who your girlfriend all right here you go. Hello, Well this was nice. This really made me believe in love again.

Yeah, I think I think we are a perfect perfect match.

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

There's one thing actually, something that bothers me is people often abuse the term gaslight. They think it means manipulate, but it's actually based.

Off of it actually means when you fart in someone's.

Face and you light it on fire.

And you light it on fire.

I don't know just the actual word comes from. When this guy turns down this oil lamp, it's like gas lamp slowly and slowly, and it's like and his girlfriend. He convinces his girlfriend she's going blind. And so it's actually about convincing the victims that they're actually insane, not just oh he's a manipulator. He's like a manipulator who makes you think you're insane. I don't know, I just always wanted to share that on the show.

I didn't know that there was a parable about a lamp that's like ancient folklore. Shit. I thought it was just.

Like a word if you google it, it's actually just based off of some popular play. I'm not sure. It's like a some kind of non musical but a play. I don't remember the name, but to the people out here listening, definitely research it because so many people misuse it and the nerd in me is like, oh, if only they knew. It's only they knew.

Well, that's interesting because I feel like I've only started hearing that word in the past, like a couple of years, and I guess you're I guess a gas lamp. That's I mean, they were using that in the seventeen hundreds or whatever the fuck, So it took a while for it to catch on.

Definitely, yeah, but it was so lovely to share the story. I hope all the partners out there can use this as an interesting reward.

Of course, take care and enjoy your smoke free and butthole filled life.

I'm shall thank you so much.

Take in the background, he said, wait, let me say bye too, But it's okay. He we we said goodbye and spirit who from?

My name is Kapu?

Hello?

Hello? Is this the gig?

Yes? What'd you say? Your name was?

My name is Kabukabu?

Yes?

What's up? Kabu? Hello?

Gick uh?

How how how how can I get you today. What do you want to talk about?

Uh? I have a boyfriend in a different country, and I'm not sure what I should do about the whole being in the same countrys dake, if this is a good idea or not.

Where are you?

I'm in America and he's in Japan.

He's in Japan? Okay? Is he is he Japanese? Or is he just living there?

Yeah? He's just he is.

We have met in person already, but we met over the internet, and I'm getting maybe a little anxious about the whole moving to another country thing, or if I should have him move here.

How old are you?

I'm thirty cold he is twenty nine.

Twenty nine. What do you do for work?

I make pizzas.

I got all right, so you can't really do that remotely.

Yeah, And I kind of dropped out of college, so I don't really have a degree. And I know people from America and other countries that have moved over there and have a lot to say about work and good and bad things, and I'm not sure if I should do that, Like I really go ahead?

Well, okay, how long have you been talking to this guy for?

Okay, so we've been dating for about a year, and I met him in March when I went to Japan for a week.

Okay, so you met him once, you really met him in person that one time we spent.

A week together, but we talk like every.

Day over the year.

Right right, Where in America do you live?

I live in Maryland.

Live in Maryland. Oh nice, that's where I'm from. What's your life like in Maryland?

I don't really like Like I'm from Baltimore. I don't really like Baltimore. I don't really like living here. I've lived here all my life. But when I went over there, everything like, like all the buses are on time, everything was cheaper. A lot of my online friends are Japanese, so I got to meet them. Like, there's a whole bunch of people. I don't have friends, a lot of friends over here.

Okay, let me ask you a question. Yeah, let's say you pack up all your stuff, you get an apartment in Japan. You do all the papers, get the visa, get a job, say goodbye to your friends, sell your furniture. Do you think go all the way to Japan? You move in. You get a text from your boyfriend that says, hey, I actually think that we shouldn't see each other anymore after of course mourning the relationship. Would you still be happy that you moved to Japan.

I would be happy that I moved to Japan because I've been studying this language for four years, like over the internet, and I have a lot of friends over there that I got to meet when I was visiting. And I also kind of sometimes DJ, so I got the DJ over there. I think there will still be many opportunities for me to do cool stuff if I'm over there. Even if it doesn't work.

Out, that's great, That's fantastic. Yeah, because I think if it was, like if you were moving there like one hundred or ninety or even eighty percent just because of this guy, it's kind of a recipe for disaster. But if you have a well rounded kind of if you have a well rounded bunch of reasons that would take you over there, I think that that's pretty good.

Okay. I mean it's not my first time meeting people off the internet that I talked to at least more than a year or something to hang out with, so I'm well versed in kind of meeting people and then and then not really hanging out again. Sometimes after it. But there are people I also still talk to that I've known for eight years over the internet.

Why what was I gonna say, Oh, how hard is it to get the visa to stay there for an extended period of time?

Well, it's not hard, because if you're an American, you don't really even need to apply for a visa to get there, like for ninety days. I think it depends on what you end up doing.

Over there, because you yeah, well, I mean, I mean, how about this man? Like instead of I mean you you went and you hung out there for a week before before a fucking moving there and like getting to doing a whole thing. Why don't you just go there for for ninety days and see how you like it.

But I would have to find a job that will sustain me, And that's probably the most difficult difficult thing of this is that I don't really I don't really have a college degree, so I can't really do any English teaching jobs, you know, even if I can speak Japanese, like, you need your degree to be able to begin to talk to those people. So then I'm out of that. Then that limits the rest of what I'm able to do too.

Do you have any college credit.

I do not, and I dropped out.

How how how much have you researched this whole thing of getting a job remotely or getting a job in Japan or I mean, look, look, the best thing you could do would probably be to get some remote job in America and then take it to Japan, because I think the yen is very weak right now.

The yen is still very weak.

The end is very weak. So I mean, if you can get a job where you're making American dollars, you're hooked up.

Yes, But then like even kind of having a job like that and reporting your taxes apparently is hard.

Oh yeah, super hard. Taxes are very annoying. I mean, if you looked into that, if you looked into uh, you know, remote jobs that pay.

Am easiest thing that that negates all of that because the work visa requires you. So there's a work visa that you can have for that type of work, and then there's like a like a redund like more redundant work visa, but then you have to basically work in a sledgshop or wherever they put you. And I haven't heard good stories about that, Like people working taxis are working for like different agricultural places and they aren't.

Do you do you have do you what? Do you have savings at all?

I'm working on that.

Okay, Maybe, I mean, maybe there's something where you kind of instead of moving to Japan immediately, you take a year or two to kind of build up some savings living in Maryland, and then when you've got some you know, ground to stand on, you look at what the opportunities are like in Japan, and in that year or two you can probably do some kind of online community college thing.

I think maybe either get in community college in and actually finishing this time would work. But like even then, I think the easiest option there would be was to like visit a few times and then if I like someone enough, maybe marry them, because like the marriage visa is the easiest one to get.

Uh well, well on the ninety day.

One, you can't get a job to make money. So where am I going to stay?

You know?

I mean I guess you could, Yeah, you could, you could, you could marry him? Why not? I don't know. I don't know. I'm just spitball and I'm just trying to figure out how you can do this.

I mean, I met him, I like him. It worked, but I got to meet him a few more times and come over there. You know.

See, be careful though, and what's what's he do? What's his deal?

So he works a factory job. He's a nice guy.

So I assume he I assume because he works the factory job that he doesn't have a lot of time off to go visit you in Baltimore. Yes, okay, Uh.

Japan's work like work kind of like what is it?

Work?

Culture is different from Americas in which even on your day off you're expected to which he was today, go and do overtime and then afterwards you're expected to drink your boss and far somewhere like that's just kind of and if you don't go, and then people look down on you, right.

I mean I think I think the long term goal of moving to Japan, I mean, I think it's cool, especially if you're not doing it just to be with this guy, and you know, because your friends I have.

I wouldn't think about moving in another country it was just for this guy, you know, Like I have more than fifty friends over there and people.

That I know of from the music, And look, dude, I think it's I think it's a cool goal. I think. I think it's a cool goal. I think if like financially you can't hack it right now, you could probably make a plan to be able to hack it in a couple of years, you know, go to uh. I mean, I'm sure there's like two year programs or you know, even just spending two years working at the pizza place and saving up to to kind of get over there. I mean, I think it's a cool I think it's a cool it's a cool goal.

Thank you, gik.

Yeah, I mean don't what I mean? I yeah, all right, what how do you where'd you where? Online? Did you meet this guy?

So?

Like I played this game called have you heard of yo Chat?

You met this guy on vr chat? Yeah?

Like, uh so COVID happened. And I lost my job right four years ago, and like I was inside a lot and I was already kind of like playing games because I like, I like playing like momos and stuff. But I got really depressed. And then one of my friends was like, hey, let's try Yocha and see how it is. And and eventually that friend stopped playing. But like I met some Japanese girl like on the game four years ago, and she said something to me that

You know, you felt very you know, like someone cared.

Yeah, I felt I felt like I was seen, you know, because I struggled. I struggle with depression, like chronic depression, and there are moments where it gets really dark if I'm very stressed. So it kind of helped me out of like this kind of slump. That was because I was like, well, life can't be life can't be so boring and and and you know dark. If I can do this thing that other people can't do. You know, your typical person is not in America, isn't a Japanese speaker.

How early are we talking?

I'm talking like nine eight in the morning.

You're getting drunk on VR chat at eight in the morning with Japanese people.

Yes, And I did that for years. Yeah, and then I started knowing how to speak their language just by listening to them talk.

That sounds pretty fun. How much Japanese do you know? Are you fluent?

I knew enough to get myself around in Tokyo, but reading is really hard. Because I did I didn't like all of my studies speaking, so reading kanji and stuff is pretty hard, but I can read some here.

Aghana, you said you have fifty friends like you you, so you're feeling like if you go over there, you just have you're gonna have a lot of You're gonna know a lot of people already.

I went over there to visit, and there was it became an issue because there were so many things I had to do with people.

That's wonderful. I wait, so how long ago did you start doing start doing this stuff on vr chat?

Four years? And I started DJing like on and off vr chat at DJ and like at two different events off the line two three years ago. But my definite study is four years.

That's cool. No, I love this idea. I think it's great. It sounds like you have a great life waiting for you in Japan. You just got to figure out how to get there potentially. Be patient about it.

I'll try my best to be patient and work forward. Sometimes it gets like my brain is mean and I end up backtracking and just ruining things.

But what what do you mean?

Like, uh, you know, when you're have you ever like sabotaged yourself like subconsciously?

Yes?

Because you feel like you shouldn't be happy.

Maybe yeah, oh yoh, yeah, oh yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. I uh, I, actually I'll do a little share I've been. I I kind of I kind of go like in and out of going to therapy, and I got back in and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna really commit to like doing this every single week. And I went to therapy like a week ago, and I I kind of came out of it being like, Okay, for at least a week. I'm gonna challenge myself to

Know, it's so hard like when you actually do that, because then like it leads to you being vulnerable, doesn't it? Like I feel like that, like I'm vulnerable if I don't at least put my guard up. And putting my guard up makes you feel kind of miserable. But like the being exposed like that kind of scary gig you's scary.

Yeah, it is scary. It is scary. And the funny thing is it's like the ultimate fucking thing is like you know, your happiness will inevitably be taken away from you no matter what, because you will die. But that's fucking a stupid way to live. I think, just always thinking about you know this is going to end, so why let's never enjoy anything ever? You know, they have great seven elevens over there too, They have dude, Like I.

Bought alcohol out of the seven to eleven when I was over there, and I was it was so cool to do. But it makes me wonder, like how do they how do you keep people from being alcoholics if you're just gonna have like alcohol.

In the seven eleven h The answer is they don't.

They don't, but like, yes, they don't, because there are people that are drunk on the streets, like I've seen it, like people just passed out kind of like from drinking too much alcohol.

By the way, just before we go, I do need to ask you this, So when you're getting drunk at fucking eight o'clock in the morning, or do you not pass out afterwards? Like do you not sleep at one pm? No?

Because I can drink from maybe.

Like eight hours or something like the Jesus Christ.

Oh my god, I'm a strong I'm a strong drinker. It's one thing that's gotten me a reputation with my my friends over there is that I can help drink them if I really tried.

What's your name again? My name is Kabukaboo, Taboo or Caboo.

It's it's caboo. It's like I'm using my my internet name.

Okay. Is that a Japanese name?

So it means turnips turn in English. It's like a vegetable.

I'm gonna call you turnip because because I'm in America, they're.

Both mean the same thing.

They both mean the same thing exactly Turnip, thanks for calling. Uh good luck. This is a cool uh life. You know, I'm also born and raised in uh Baltimore and uh so Tokyo is definitely not Baltimore, So I think it is not a change of pace could be good and I wish you good luck on getting there. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Thank you all for the advice in the chat, and like, if you love someone and they're like in another country and it doesn't seem like entirely crazy, like you have other things you can go to the other countries for, actually consider it, like don't let your relatives and other people kind of be like that's that's horse shit, like actually kind of like speal it out maybe for like a few years, and then do something new. Take care, turn it okay, Bye gig.

Attention listeners of the Therapy Gecko podcast. Do you know that I do a live version of this podcast on stage in person in front of real people, And that I'm doing this live show in several cities across the United States this year, and that tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour dot com or at the link

I'm Gabe, Gabe.

What's going on?

Who is this?

This is the Barack Obama?

Your voice sounds a lot different than it does on the stream.

Well, your voice sounds like a guy's voice. What's up, Gabe?

Nothing much, I'm just chilling.

How about you what you want to talk about today?

I guess I guess you saw my text. I'm quite bad at talking to people. I was wondering if you had any advice as someone who talks to I assume.

Any people, Like Sure, yeah, sure, I mean you're bad at talking. I mean, let me see what you texted here. You said, I have absolutely zero ability to start continue conversations. Now, is this with like, uh, like when you're like dating, or just when you're like making small talk, or like with friends or just like kind of like this is a general thing.

It's I guess it's like a general kind of thing. I'm not too concerned, like like talking to people at work, you know, but like specifically with trying to like develop friendships relationships, and I don't know, you know, it's it's hard talking to people making friends, like specifically, do.

You have very hard? Do you have any friends already?

Yeah?

I have a I have a few really good friends that I am getting good at talking to, you know, but like trying to branch out is like the hard thing.

Sure, I mean, I think like making friends is one thing, but like starting how to just how to start and continue a conversation. I've always felt like the answer to that question was just comes out of like a natural curiosity, you know. I mean, if you like are curious about people and like give a shit, then you just kind of follow where that curiosity takes you and you ask questions, right, yeah, like yeah.

So I was like thinking a while ago, like I feel like my my thing that like I have trouble with is that like like continuing conversations. I know, like like making small talk and everything. I don't know why, but like my brain chemistry just doesn't like think of those things to ask about like, oh, how is work going? How is this thing in your life going? Like I don't,

That, No, that does make sense. I think there's something to be said about like trying to enter other people's contexts, you know, kind of what they might be thinking or what might be important or interesting to them and kind of tapping into that. And I understand that it seems like you have kind of your topics of conversation that you're you're comfortable in, like the video games you're playing and your own life. Uh, and maybe it makes you

Yeah? I think I'm I think I'm wrapping my head around it. It's I don't know. My brain chemistry just has a hard time, like its figuring people out. Like, yeah, it's something I definitely need to work on, and I think I will definitely like listen to the VOD and like just try to absorb everything you're saying.

You know, I mean, are you how old are you?

I'm twenty two, twenty two?

What do you do? Are you in school? Do you work?

I'm not in school anymore. I'm probably not gonna go back. Uh. I'm working right now. Uh. I'm a merchandiser. So I go into a bunch of stores and stock their product, and it's it's not a bad gig for me. I work by myself all day pretty much most of the time, so I don't have to worry about these things at work most of the time.

Mm hmm mm hmm. Are do you like are you curious about other people? It's kind of okay if you're not too.

I I want to say that I am. There's there's definitely people that like, like I'll be I'll be at like my friends like parties and stuff, and I'll see people there that I kind of want to talk to, but it's hard to break that barrier without like without my friend that is too, Like there's sometimes people at work too that I want to talk to. Yeah, and it's just when I when I break away by myself, it's a lot harder to to do that on my own.

I think there's a little trick here, which is that like you're kind of you are you afraid of like rejection? Are you afraid that you'll try to start talking to someone and they just won't want to talk to you.

I think I've always had a very, uh a big fear of rejection, so that that could be a root of it.

Yeah, I think the and this is it's difficult, and I'm still trying to uh kind of get here because it's like being secure with yourself is a forever game and it's hard. But to me, this secure way to go about this is to make it a very internal game where you're like, look, I'm going into this social interaction in good faith with the intention of trying to get to know people, of socializing, and you know, I want to talk to this person because I find them interesting.

Yeah?

I think so.

Yeah. Yeah, talking to people is crazy because some people

You know. Yeah, I think that's a problem I have too. I'm just like like I'll talk to people and they I guess, like, for a specific example, I guess like if we go into the dating realm. I went on a date once and I thought things were going good. I thought we had a good conversation, hitting off pretty well texting like prior to the date. But after the date, she just kind of ghosted me yea, and I was

Yeah yeah, yeah, dude. That No. I mean, the dating realm is uh, it's insane. No, I mean it's devastating man to you. You you go out with someone and you feel like you have a connection and you know this and that and the other thing, and then it just doesn't work out. It's hard it's really hard, but you you you really really really have to learn to not let it affect your sense of who you are because it'll just fuck you up.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, it's it's it's devastating. You wish it worked out, but you can't let the fact that it didn't work out make you think that you're you know, a piece of ship, because again, all the all that, all that really matters that at the end of the day, I think is that you like try to your best two go about the universe in some amount of good faith, even if you fuck up here and there, you know, it's all that really matters.

Yeah, just I guess doing my best to not fuck.

Up is yeah, gold. Yeah, and like whatever, I mean, it could just be that like, uh, you know, there was no there was no attraction, and how do you fix that? I don't know, Uh, I I mean for every for every you know, ten, twenty, thirty, forty, whatever, people who don't find you attractive, there's at least one who does. And it's a little bit of like a game.

Yeah, it's if we're talking about like, yeah, if we're talking about like dating, I've kind of like I'm kind of ignoring that side right now, just because I get into habits where I like get too into like like this headspace where I'm like I need to get this app and I need to be on the dating apps every day.

Yeah. Yeah, that's that's that's that's I'm telling you from personal life experience throughout my throughout several you know, epochs. I've had several epochs of my life, you know where where I've I've been, uh, you know, kind of kind of obsessed with that realm. And that's that's just when you know you're fucked because you're like kind of taking time away from developing your own life into this realm of like I need to find another person to make

You know.

Yeah, it's like it's really hard, dude. Yeah, I get you, it's really hard. What are you gonna say it?

It's like really easy to like look at that and think like, oh, look, those people are happy all the time. Yeah, yeah, it seems it's it always seems nice, and then I try to do it and it's like it makes me feel worse than I did before.

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. What have you been able?

Like?

Does anything? What does anything make you happy?

But yeah, i'd say I I'm very comfortable with myself. Like, like I I ideally I want to like to a place where I can feel comfortable talking to people, you know, But like, as as long as I'm by my by myself, I feel like I'm pretty chill by myself. I'm playing video games. Uh, work is fine, uh, and I run, So I got really good going myself. I'm not just like I'm not just sitting in my house playing video games all day. I'm like running and staying kind of

That's great. Yeah, I don't know. I think, uh, I've really been I think I've probably talked about this on the podcast before, but I've been thinking so much about how much of like happiness or whatever is internal versus external, and I think it's a little bit of both. And it's like, yeah, you know, of course, uh uh, this external part of my life, of of my relationships. Maybe it would be better if if I wasn't alone. But you can't sacrifice the your internal calmness in a desperate

Yeah, I think so.

So I don't know. Delete tender God's side. Uh, eat a eat a slice of pizza.

I do enjoy I don't. I like the sound of that. I We'll say.

What's your name again? I'm Gabe Gabe. Well, Gabe, is there anything else you want to have to talk about before we go?

No, but have a have a great rest of your day, you.

Too, Take care man, all right later, Gabe? What a name? Gabe? Gabe? Gabe? Who is Gabe? What is Gabe? Why is Gabe? How is Gabe? How is Gabe? Gabe's doing? Okay?

Hello?

Hi there? What's your name? Sir?

Uh?

Rusty Rusty? I like that name. Yeah. Where are you from? Rusty?

Uh? From Missouri? Then Oklahoma and now I'm in Texas.

It's quite a journey, yep. It is.

I'm twenty two and.

H what inspired you to call a gecko on the phone.

Dude, I've been listening listening to your show for a while now. I love it, dog, It's thank you. I listened to it all the time. I try and save it for drives. But yeah, dude, I've just been wanting to talk to you for a little bit.

Thank you. Man. Well, was there anything in particular that you wanted to talk about?

Ash? There's been so much, but most recently, I guess I moved in with my girlfriend's family two months or no, it was before two months, when before we were into dating or whatever. Yeah, after two months of knowing each other, they asked me to move in with them, and I was like fuck it, wing on and so now I'm in Texas for the summer.

M H. Where were you? Where were you living? Where were you living before you were living in Oaklands?

I was no, I was living in Oklahoma. I go to I go to school in Oklahoma, and I was living in like the campus apartments and school was ending, and like we started dating in February and she was like, why don't you come, like move in with us? Yeah, And the way that happened was I took her up to Missouri to meet my family, which wasn't a great ex experience. But at the same time, it was she only cried once?

So why was Why was she only cried once? Why was it a bad experience?

H dude? My family is they're intense. There's six of us. I have three siblings, and it's non stop, like chittering, everybody like fighting and ship and it's like it'll wear you down.

Mm hmm.

Everybody's always arguing.

Mm hmm.

What's the vibe like at her place?

Oh, it's amazing. I love her. I love her family. It's awesome. It's quiet. She's got an older brother but he's moved out. And then she's got a younger brother. He's autistic, but he's he's an awesome dude. I love to hang out with him.

Alan.

Now why why? Uh no? What was I going to ask you? I was going to ask you why anything? I guess you. So, you guys have known each other for two months, and how did you meet her again?

We met on hinge dating it meant to be deleted.

Cool and after two and it's I mean, that's just interesting to me that after two months. Her family is totally cool with you just crashing there.

Oh yeah, I know. I mean now it's it's like four months at this point. But yeah, this happened in very much like May. I think, Yeah, this happened in May.

So you you just graduated, you just graduated from college. What was your plan going to be if you if you didn't end up living with her? Were you just going to go back home?

I hadn't graduated yet. I have I have like free summer housing. So I just left all my ship up there. I was going to be alone up there because I didn't want to go back home.

Oh so you're oh, okay, so you you have a place to say, you're just staying with her over the summer. Okay, So yeah, so you're just staying with her over the summer. It's not like a, hey, I need somewhere to live with you. But okay, I.

Mean I haven't done anything not risky. But I don't know, I just jumped into it. You know, I haven't really done anything like that before.

And why do you feel like you jumped into it?

Ah, ship, that's some heavy stuff.

I don't difficult question.

No, You're good. I don't know I really like her. I love her.

It's nice. That's nice.

And I knew I loved her when when she asked me. But yeah, i've been I've been. This last year has been hell and I've been struggling. And then you know, she came in and it was like everything was happy.

It is you know, why why you don't have potograph if you want to? But why do you feel like you're struggling? Ah?

Dog? So I was dating this one girl for we were together for like six years, right, and she she cheated in October, and you know that just kind of like that kind of broke me, and I let it break me, you know. Instead of going to the gym, I just like sat in my room like a rotted And then I'm also a student athlete and so like that was also tanking. My mental health and my grades were slipping, and it's just kind of like a downward spiral, like really fast. I don't think anybody really knew how

Nice man, what do you was studying in school?

Biomedical science?

Uh? And you're gonna are you gonna go be You're gonna go be a doctor.

Guy, Dude, I don't fucking I don't fucking know. I uh, I feel like the longer I'm in school, the dumber I get, and I feel I feel I feel like I peaked in like middle school, and I've just been getting stupid or ever since. But I don't even know.

I mean, that's how I would feel if I was studying anything with the name biomedical in it.

I guess. But I failed genetics twice, which is what I wanted to do. I wanted to be like a genetic research.

You wanted to play.

Failed exactly, but I failed it twice. Not because it's hard, but because I just I gave up this past year and I'm sick of smol.

So, So what's the what's the plan? You're when do you graduate?

I have like twenty hours left, so two semesters. I don't know, Spring twenty twenty five.

Okay, do you know what you want to do when you graduate?

Uh?

No, nope, I uh maybe masters and like wildlife stuff. I like the outdoors. Okay, I don't know, Doug.

I'm still you should you should get your masters in hawks?

Is this like a hawk to a joke? Are you setting that up or something.

No, No, why hawks? You know why? I just picked it because it was a fun word to say at the time. Hawk hawk. That's cool. I mean you can I I that's cool. You're gonna get a You're gonna get a degree in in the animals kinda.

Butay, yeah, I saw a video of a hawk killing the goose the other day.

Are you on that? Are you on that? Subreddit? It's something like nature is Metal? You know I'm talking about I.

Used to be in. I got Perma Band from Reddit. I don't even know why.

Why? All right, you know why? Why did you get pera band from Reddit? I don't know you I must have an idea.

I can't stand dumbasses. Everybody everybody on Reddit a dumbass.

I'm sorry you got hold on. I got Perma Band from Reddit because I can't stand dumbasses. Sounds like you know why you got banned?

There was okay, there was a lot. I don't know who reported me.

Who did you? Who did you tell to kill themselves?

Okay, nothing like that. I wouldn't do that. I don't know. It's just like a hive line of of I don't know. Next, beird de generously, I'll you know.

I'll say this. I really, I really mean it. I just I kind of disagree. I think of like all the social media platforms like where people are chatting about ship between, like Twitter and TikTok and Instagram and Reddit. I like Reddit the most, I really do, because I feel like Reddit is the only one that's like mostly adults, you know what I mean? Because you no, no, no, you you got me? You have you got me?

You you I heard you saying that and I was like, this is such, this is some shit I'd read in the comments about like I don't know, but no. Reddit is was the only social media I had and I got banned from it, and like, I don't have anything.

Now now you're free. You don't you don't you don't have you don't have anything?

No I am yeah, I don't have TikTok. I used to and then like it it takes a lot of time, and so I just deleted it. And the comments on some videos are just stupid. So I deleted that. I don't have Instagram. It's a lot of work.

And what do you do? What do you do with your time? What do you do when when you are sitting around doing nothing?

Well, during the school year, I'm like going to practice, I'm playing some video games. I'm working out doing school stuff, and like now in the summer, I'm playing video games working out and I kind of sit on my ass all day until it's time to go to work.

Okay, well, so you're playing video games.

Oh yeah, I.

I I debated. So when I started getting back into video games, like, uh a year or two ago, I was debating if it was like a waste of time. And I noticed that I waste a lot of my time unconsciously because I'm just sitting and scrolling and re checking and this and that thing. And It's like, if I'm gonna quote waste time, at least I want to

Huh. I see that.

Like, like video games are more conscious choice. I don't feel like my my you can't really like accidentally put as much game hours into video games as you can to your stupid phone.

I don't know, man, So some people some games you can.

Get addicted toying.

Right now, I'm on like a rotation Rainbow and Diablo fo. The other rotation is Overwatch and like Minecraft. Oh no, Stardoo Valley.

Stardo Valet. Oh you're a cozy gamer. Oh yeah, well you're a cozy little guy.

I'll play a little bit of everything, but like I like sup not a lot and started Valley is not t That thing is it's.

You're breaking up. You can't hear what thing you're saying.

That game strees me out. Start.

What's your name again, Rusty Shad Rusty, you did not have to give me your full name. We're gonna cut that out. We're gonna we I don't want people looking at you up.

It's from King of the Hill.

That's from King of the Hills. Yeah, okay, and I never watched King of the Hill.

Oh miss now, well.

Rusty, you seem like a sweet guy. I hope that, uh, everything works out okay with your Like this is your It don't sounding like you moved in. It sounds like it's an extended stay.

No, dude, I thought it would be like temporary, so I only have like seven shirts, and like I just I like, do launder every four days or something?

Is it bad? Is it? Is it bad that when you said seven shirts, I was like, what do you mean you only have seven shirts?

Well, I thought I was gonna be here for like a weekend a week.

I feel like a seven seven shirts is a lot of shirts. That's one shirt every day for the week. I know, well no, but you were just saying, you were saying it like it wasn't a lot of shirts. I think seven shirts. I'm just saying you might have more shirt Like if you were to combine all the people in the universe, like what eight billion people and uh like average out however many shirts everyone? I think you have like significantly more shirts than the average person.

Oh that's that's a that's a slippery slope because the average number of fingers on everybody's hands in the world is less than ten.

Get the fuck out of here, Rusty. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer But yeah, oh you have two things. Tell me your two things.

Two things. One, I'm the guy that comments about his poops on your on your Spotify thing.

Oh you're that guy. No, I no, I have no idea. I have no idea what you're talking about at all.

Well, dude, you pinned like three of them.

I've never pinned anything for I've never pinned anything from that Who.

Keeps pitting my comments then, because I'll talk about maybe it's a great, great show.

Maybe it's the spot Maybe it's the Spotify editorial team. They thought your poop comments were worthy of of of publishing. What's the second thing?

You know? I've always thought about this moment about when you would ask me this, okay, and I had so many great witty things. But now I'm no, that's lame.

That's lame. That's lame. What what what do you feel? What do you just? What are you feeling? What's up? Be honest?

Smoke gass and eat grass.

Thank you, rest you have a go on you two dogs.

Bye.

No, don't don't think of a cool thing to say. Just say whatever is in your in your brain. Man. Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko

When I was fourteen, my mother sent me to a conversion camp in Tennessee. And this was not only for like gay people, but like my mom said it to me because she thought I was gay. I am, but non relevant and so like it was really fucking crazy.

How long were you in this camp for?

I was only for a year and a few months.

That's a lot of time to be in a conversion camp.

Some people stay there for years.

Really what and you were fourteen?

Yes, it got shut down by the government eventually, so it's okay to talk about now, Like there's no legally I mean anything, okay. And there was a girl there that tried to like kill all of us.

There's a girl who tried to you. Yeah, if you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a Premium member at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com, or find the link in the episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right, I have nothing else to say.

Goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.

Goes he's teaching you aloud.

Life is not expert