"I PRETEND TO BE A BABY"

Hello, Hello, Hi, is this a gag?

Yeah? Who's this?

You can call me snail?

Snail? How are you, Snail?

I'm great?

How are you? I'm a gecko on the computer.

Yeah, yeah, I can tell. Okay, so we're here today. I wanted to talk to you about my life as an adult baby. I don't know, kind of a taboo subject.

But what do you mean by adult baby?

So in my free time, I dress up as a baby. I have a a daddy currently, and I specifically wanted to talk to you about I went to a convention for adult babies.

Interesting, So you dress I have a bunch of questions for you. So you dress up as a base?

Yeah?

Yeah, Like what is what is the attire? Exactly? It's a diaper, it's what is it?

Everything? Yeah? Diaper? You got onesies, you got you know, cute looking shirts you got you know, you got the pacifier, you got the bottle everything.

Okay. So and your daddy, who? Who? Who is your daddy? What does he wear? In the equation?

So he's about you have like two hours away from me, so I don't get to see him all that often, but my school is close to him. So every time I go to school. I will visit him and we uh, you know, he'll just kind of take care of me, make me feel good. I get a little little teased by him. Yeah, it's like part of our dynamic.

You know.

He he has a wife, and you know, she doesn't seem to give a crap about the whole thing.

You know.

I think she thinks it's cute. And they're probably amorous anyway, so I don't think they really care.

But yeah, so is this a sex thing?

You know what in this current relationship? It is not, because in terms of like sex stuff, I'm really only into women, you know.

Okay, So if you have this relationship with this daddy that is not sexual at.

All, not sexual at all. I think he wishes it would be, but no, it isn't.

Okay, So I've I have a bunch of questions for you. I want to know this kind of off the bat mm hmm. And this is what everyone this is. And you know this because I'm sure you've received a fair amount of criticism to anyone that you've talked about this with in your life. Is that accurate?

Oh?

Yeah, yeah, I had I had a group like it was like me and like three friends. We had been friends for like years and years, and I told a couple of them, the whole group like, disown me, stop talking to me.

So here's the main point of criticism. In my eyes, I personally am a big fan of anyone can go do anything that they want with their lives. You know, you want to go dress up as a baby. It's it is what it is. You know, live your life, man. But I think the main point of contention is do you see a a red flag in a guy who is sexually interested in you dressing up as a child.

Yeah, So that's like a huge point of contention in this like community. I mean, and we do have a community. You know, there's all these girls on Instagram who have tens of thousands of followers and stuff like that, and and it's it's a big talking point that like it's brought up a lot, and you hear these people talking about it on their accounts, and I guess you know, the answer is, you know, as long as they're going for an adult and the adult is consenting, then it

It's I ahead, go ahead, go ahead, and I'll ask my questions later. I want to hear what you have to say.

Yeah, I I just say that, you know. For me personally, I love the feelings that come along with someone like babying me, taking care of me, like making sure I'm all right all the time, kind of looking after me in a sort of way, making me feel small, making me feel taken care of. But you know, I do have this thought a lot of the time, like like like you brought up of you know, is this guy looking for a child, and like, I don't think that's the case, because you know, what he's getting out of

Yeah, I do get with you, man, It's more about I mean, it's like a power play type of like a role play. Yeah exactly, So has there ever been, And I guess not even saying that this is saying something, but I don't know, I'm curious what the answer is. In this community, have there been people who have been kind of outed as like, oh, this person actually is a pedophile?

Oh yeah, yeah, And I mean I just recently. It's a big thing and it happens all the time, unfortunately, because you know, there's a lot of people who are

Yeah, And in this community, how often, uh are is this subject talked.

About fairly fairly often? I would say, I mean, you know, I was just talking like whenever I meet up with my friends who are kind of in in this community, like it comes up in our conversations. It's it's a big I Like I was saying, a big point of contention in this community, and like, you know a lot of people end up talking about it on the big abl Instagram accounts and all that sort of stuff.

What do you what do you? And I kind of see for how you've explained it, what you get out of it in terms of the dynamic, you know, feeling like you're being taken care of. You know, what do you what would you want people to know about this that you think maybe they are misinformed.

About Okay, okay, Number one, the the whole idea, Like when when people look at this community too often, the perception is like these.

You know, kind of not very good looking, like white guys who like to dress up like a baby, and they look you know, they look terrible.

You know.

You look at them in like these documentaries and videos and stuff like this, and you look at them and I'm like, oh my god, I feel bad for this guy. Like me, as a person of this community, I look at him and I'm like, oh god, I feel sad for him, you know, just because so many of them don't seem to know how to act like a normal

Somebody in the chat and I try to read the chat very often, but somebody in the chat right that it's it's almost like wondering if furries are actually into having sex with animals, where it's like, right, they are most I assume most of them aren't, but the ones at all, I mean, there's got to be a couple of people in that community that do want to have sex with foxes and shit.

Exactly. No, I think you're totally right on that point.

Like it's what I mean, is that like to you? But but then to you, is that like I mean is that scary to you?

Like?

Is that is I mean, how does that feel that you're part of a community that is you know, you know that you don't have malicious intentions and that the people that you do this with don't have malicious intentions. But how does it feel for you knowing that you're so deeply entrenched in a community where something like that happens all the time?

You know, I mean, it doesn't happen all the time, like I said, like it's a part of our community, but it's it's relatively rare, and you know, I take comfort in knowing that I surround myself with good people with good intentions, and like I think that I'm I'm very good at sussing that kind of stuff out and you know, knowing whether someone's like kind of a weirdo

Do you ever poop your pants and have somebody clean it? For you.

I have never had that happen personally. You know, I'm not saying it wouldn't be an interesting experience. I don't know. I think it would be fun. I've never done that, but I definitely have feed myself and had someone change me.

Yeah, okay, is it? Is it a to you? Is it a big Is there a big step between peeing yourself and pooping yourself? Like, is pooping yourself kind of a different level?

Yeah, yeah, definitely, it's uh. I mean there's a lot of people in this community who are like, oh, I wear diapers, I see them and I do all that, But you know, I would never poop myself. That's absolutely disgusting and filthy. And like, I see where they're coming from.

And I understand why Why is pooping? Why is pooping? Why is pooping yourself that much more disgusting than peeing yourself?

I don't know. I mean, in my mind, you know, you're in as you're in as sterile. I mean, at least as long as it's in your body, as soon as it comes out, it's no longer sterile. But I find you'urine to be much less. I don't know, And like the thing about poop is that it it sticks everywhere. It's absolutely disgusting. Like there's just there's a difference. You know, Pete doesn't Pe doesn't smell like that. Pee doesn't like stick to everything and like make things nasty, you know

You know, I respect that you're willing to defend all of your statements at U three. Yeah, you kind of have to you at this Are there props and stuff? Is there? Do you like shake up?

Oh?

Yeah, rattle and have a binkie and ship I have.

I think I have two rattles I have. I have quite a collection of binkies and or pacifiers. I'd say maybe like like twenty or thirty of those. I have a big thing for for onesies I have. I've probably about like somewhere in between ninety and one hundred and closet.

You have ninety onesies in your hunt I don't even have. I don't I have like three of these gecko suits. You have ninety onesies in your closets?

Yes, somewhere. I mean the last time I counted was like a year and a half ago, and I was at seventy two. So I'm guessing it's somewhere around there now with what I've recrued over the last year and a half.

How long have you been doing this for?

So I kind of yeah. My story is basically, I mean, as a community, the ABDL community adult baby diaper lover community is very you know, they're they're extremely good about keeping miners out of the community to an extent where they can almost be like really mean and like really forceful about it, and so pretty much as soon as I turned eighteen is when I started getting into all this stuff because you know, I just there was so much pushback and I felt like bad about getting involved

What is it that drew you to want to be doing this like as soon as you possibly could?

Well, I don't know quite where it came from, but I just it started for me as like a diaper kink, you know, when I turned I say, like when I was in middle school, probably around like thirteen, fourteen years old, I started to get into this this kink and like that's where it started for me, and then like the baby stuff came alongside of it. It didn't start with the baby stuff. It was more of like I like diapers. I think they're hot.

Interesting. Okay, I want to know about this convention because I'm imagining a exhibition floor where there is some fucking guy who like his whole like like there's like booths and there's like a rattle booth where there's like all these premium rattles that you can buy, and like all these onesie exhibitors and like binky booths, and like there's people who they make a living selling fucking binkies at adult baby conventions all across America. Is that accurate? That's what I'm imagining.

You're you're I would say you're halfway accurate. Like there's I think the convention I went to, there was probably about uh five or six vendors there and they're all like they were all the convention doesn't do as much of like the independence sellers. They do like the big ones. So we had all the big players in the A B d L world, which is like a by universe tyker bowls rears well, so.

There are like there are like big you said, you said the big players. There are big players that are giant brands who specialize in creating baby products for adults.

Yes, yeah, I'd say Rears is pretty much the biggest one. They have a huge You look at their website, they have a huge selection of different kind of diapers with different.

I need to look at this. What is this called?

Yeah, it's called uh it's r E A r Z dot c A.

Dude, holy shit, this is a real this is a real thing. There's like, well, there's they have they're having a Black Friday sale right now. Plates? How they have bibs, bottles? Do you drink out of a bottle and ship.

Sometimes? I mean it's not.

Calm out of a baby bottle.

I have never drank come out of a baby bottle.

Okay, what do you do at this convention? Like? What are there panels? What? What's going on here?

Yeah? So there's they have what's called the playrooms. And the playrooms are just like all these different little rooms that are geared towards a different facet of like this lifestyle. So you have like the toddler room, you have the baby room, you have the like middle room and middles are for an explanation, they're like they're they're like like adult babies, but they like acting out more of like a teenage role if that makes.

Sense, like like a braddy teen thing.

Yeah, exactly. And then there's like there's there's a room for the furries. Of course, there's there is a large furry presence in this community, so that you have they're called the diaper fers or the baby furs or whatever, and they have their own dedicated space. There's obviously like a dark room where if you want to do like BDSM stuff, you can go and do that there. And they have like you know, people kind of walking around the room making sure everyone's being safe.

Uh.

There's a lot of drugs and partying at these conventions, even like the convention like owners, the people who run it, they are they're constantly on drugs during these conventions.

It's crazy that kind that tracks that makes sense. That makes a lot of sense to me. What kind of drugs are these babies doing?

I say the most popular ones are like acid, a lot of weed.

I cannot imagine being on ass and walking around and seeing a bunch of adult babies running around that would be that would be really intense.

It's it is really intense. I mean, like I remember being on acid and just walking through these hallways and like I think I had taken a little bit of shrooms too, so the hallways like twisting around and there's all these people just like walking around wearing diapers and like doing baby shit. And then I think we kind of ended up cordening ourselves off in this one room and we stayed until in there until like one am when they kicked us out. But we were playing in

You know, well what you see what would be horrible is is is I think it's one thing to be in your diaper with your binkie and your rattle on acid at the baby convention, but then getting kicked out and now you're just on the streets in a diaper with oh.

No, no no no, not not not kicked on the streets.

But kicked out of the just kicked out of the playrooms. You know, they were like, okay, you can't be in it here anymore.

Closing the pal They didn't playroom look like, is there like a slide? Are there monkey bars? Is it like is it actually like a playground?

The one we were in, I think they called it the toddler room, and it just had it was like very simplistic. There were some like toys and shit scattered around, some little like barriers you could put up these like boam blocks, and then there was there was a giant ball pit covered in like a what do you call it, like a like a mesh curtain to kind of keep the balls from getting out of the pit. There was like a slide you could go down, like a little slide that kind of had all these rolling I don't

Yeah, three giant clibs.

Yeah.

Can you like rent I mean and like you and your you guys can like do crib stuff.

You don't rent it. You just you just use it, you know, like they let you use it.

But you know, you I really wonder, you know, at every convention they have like the Allied security people who are like just hired to work whatever's going on at the convention center that weekend. I really wonder what their experience of all of this is.

So they the security they had hired for the convention were actually all people who had like volunteered from the community to do the security. I mean, they had some like more officially trained security members, but they weren't going to be like stepping out and doing anything unless they

Five percent of the staff dipped out.

Oh yeah, definitely. They like they they totally left. They did not want to be a part of this convention if they didn't have to be, even though I think they were getting paid extra to do it, which is understandable, you know, like if you're not into this thing, you might not want to go to a convention with a bunch of adult babies running around, you know. But there was this one staff member who actually got like really into the whole thing, and at one point we were

This is an interesting thing that you're you're a part of. What's your name again, Snail, Snail, this is an interesting thing that you're a part of here. I I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it, because I think I I I guess when you explained to me the idea that it's more about a power dynamic in the way that I'm pretty sure a lot of b DSM and non traditional sex things are, it makes sense. But I don't know. I don't even know if I

I guess the one thing I wanted to say was like, I just you know, this was my first ever convention I had gone to, and you know, if you can picture it the kind of sheer awe I had when I was sitting in this room when we were doing like the opening ceremony for it. We're all sitting on the floor. There's probably there's there's literally like fifteen hundred people sitting in this convention hall, and they're all dressed

What's the most fucked up thing you've seen at this convention? Like, did you see anyone like eat shit out of a guy's diaper? No?

No, So there's like a lot of rules to kind of keep that stuff, Like no one's allowed to be shitting themselves in the public areas, Like you have to do that in your own hotel room. If you're going to do it, you can't like be doing that stuff, and you can't be like walking around in like a disgusting diaper that you haven't taken off in like twelve hours or something.

You know, they have rules about it.

I'd say the craziest thing I saw. We were on acid. My friend, who doesn't speak English very well, kept like saying she kept saying like, fuck machine party. She kept saying, fuck machine party. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Fuck machine party. She took me up to this room, someone's hotel room, and we just kind of sat on the floor and we were chatting, and in the background,

You weren't thinking about it because you were on acid, that would be all I was thinking about.

No, I was just I was sitting there. We were chatting about stuff I glanced over occasionally, but like, I think the conversation was more interesting.

Well, Snell, thanks for sharing this stuff. I feel like you don't. It's that I don't assume that you have many opportunities to talk about this, uh in your life, not at all? It Do you intentionally keep it a secret? Oh?

Yeah, definitely. I mean, like i'd say, you know, the only people who know about this are my friends who are part of the community, or the one friend that I'm extremely close with.

Do are you like, uh like, do you have a significant other at all? I don't, do you? Do you does your family know that you're into this? Uh?

Yeah, My mom's kind of uh she's she's been in my house before and she'snooped around unfortunately, And I think her take on it is she just doesn't even want to talk about it to me, which is like understandable, but it is a little awkward that she knows about it.

Does that make you like upset that she doesn't want to talk about it or do you totally understand why she did not want to talk about it?

Oh? I totally understand. And there's nothing I want less than to have a conversation about this ship with my mom.

I think that makes a lot of sense to me. I don't think I mean what I you know, it's funny. I wouldn't want to talk to my mom about my regular vanilla sex life, let alone if it involved me dressing up as a baby.

Exactly.

Is there anything else that you want to say to the people the computersnaiw.

You know, diapers are great, man, give them a try.

That's it.

Thank you for calling and sharing, Snell. I appreciate it, and good luck to you and all of your or baby endeavors.

Thank you, Lyle. All Right, good night, good night.

Yeah, I'm still I'm looking at this fucking website. Uh dude, this is a whole. This is a hole, a rabbit hole of a thing that you could get into. I'm not here to give my opinion on, uh, you know, the validity of whatever people are doing. It is interesting to think about there there's a whole convention of people.

Hello, well, Hi, how are you?

I'm good? How are you good?

Is this Lyle? Yeah?

Who's this?

Holy crap? Hi, I'm Allison. You sound really different on the phone than need do on your stream.

What's going on? Allison?

Hi? So this year, last year, I actually spent Thanksgiving in a mental hospital.

Oh yeah, did they? Was it catered? Was there still? Do they still like feed you turkey and mashed potatoes and all that stuff?

Yeah?

Surprisingly, it was actually really fucking good, because like, mental hospital food is really really really bad. But like, I don't know, they like they went all out for Thanksgiving Day. They had like the straight on. So we just sat around at eat turkey and did crosswords. It was great.

So you're saying the food is typically bad in the mental hospital but on Thanksgiving it was pretty good.

Yeah, like like shockingly good.

Interesting. So you're saying that Thanksgiving in a mental hospital could be even better than you know, just Thanksgiving at my family's house.

One thousand percent. I So it was the first time in my twenty six years of life that I did not go home for Thanksgiving, and it was the best Thanksgiving I've ever had, ironically enough.

Interesting.

So it kind of taught me, like, I don't have to go home for family holidays if I don't want to.

Is that do you do you? I mean, these past twenty six years that you've been going that you've been being home for Thanksgiving, has that been against your will? Or have you know, how is your feeling of being home? What is your feeling about about about going home?

Yeah, so it's complicated, it's yeah, it's kind of been against my will. So I grew up on the West Coast and I went to another state for college, and my parents basically would get me a plane ticket and say you're coming home and tell me when I was coming home for Thanksgiving, just for any winter break that they wanted me there. I wanted to do research and stay at the university in the former time, and they

I stopped.

We get together once a year and go to a lake and I'm not in the summertime and I'm not going so did to go last year?

So listen, So, so you're talking about how you know you don't want to go because you want to, uh, you know, stay where you were and and do your research and all that, But like, what is your relationship like with your family?

Yeah, so my dad's abusive. There's not really any way to sugarcoat that. I guess he's an alcoholic, he's extremely manipulative and emotionally abusive, and some of these circumstances where a part of the reason I wasn't the mental healthpittal is because I have like really bad PTSD from growing up, anxiety depression, borderline personality disorder, and yeah, I just it's one of those weird dichotomies where no one ever told me.

What about your mother?

I love her, I let her to pieces, but she basically enabled everything that happened, and so we're close. But my therapist doesn't think that's for the best. So it's kind of a complicated situation there.

What did your what did your therapists have to say about all of this?

She thinks it's great. She's been trying to get me to like avoid my family for years, She's I've so I've been with my therapist for about three years now. She's the one that finally got me the diagnoses that I needed because I've been mentally ill for like a really long time, very very sick for a very long time, and I haven't any progress in my life until my lowest point last year, when I finally started creating distance between myself and my family.

And so when's the last time, as of today that you talked to your family?

Actually, yesterday my uncle had a heart attack, my dad's brother, and it was one of those situations where I was like, Okay, I need to be I had that self imposed like I need to be a good daughter and call and so just kind of checked in on that.

Do you have siblings at all?

I do, ye?

And what's your relationship like with the siblings?

Used to be really bad. Now we're really close. My brother is actually getting married next month, and so yeah, he and his fiance, they've been together for about eleven years. He got out and actually started improving his mental health when he moved away as well for my parents, and he doesn't go home for holidays.

Either, so he cut off the family like a little bit before you did. And in terms of his timeline. Yeah, And now, because it's interesting because you said now that he's getting married and you're could I assume you're going to a wedding And I was thinking, I was like, oh, I hope the parents aren't going to be at the wedding because that would be a conflict. But it sounds like, that's not something you're gonna have to worry about.

No, he hasn't like quite cut them out, cut them out. He just has a healthier distance.

Okay, So are they going to be at the wedding? Oh yeah, okay. And so to that point, what you just said, cutting them off versus a healthy distance, where are is that sort of how you're looking at it, Like you're trying to keep a healthy distance but not necessarily cut them off.

That's kind of where I'm at. Yeah, I think I think I'm scared of the idea of cutting them off. I did have a conversation with my mom about a month ago where I basically like laid everything out and I was like, look like, I don't want to be ungrateful, I don't want to be that daughter. But dad is abusive. You know it, I know it. It's kind of a fact. And I finally got hurt to say like, okay, like I won't pressure you to come home anymore. And I

And so, So, has this overall been a difficult process to you? I mean it kind of sounds like something that you've been working on doing for a while.

Yeah. I didn't know why. I've always had that question, like why am I like this? Like why am I so depressed and sad? And I didn't really piece it together until like really recently in my life it's like, oh, I have like severe familial trauma, and like it's really

And so it's great to hear. Man. I was gonna ask you, uh, like before we go, what your uh what is your sort of social circle look like? Now? Do you do you have a lot of you said you have a lot of friends. Are you able to kind of like, you know, do you have people in your life that you know you can you can be with or you know, are you are you living a life that that is does not feel like it's void of of whatever was you know, a family might provide if that makes sense.

Yeah, yeah, thank you for asking. I it's the first time in my life that I actually have friends that, like I think would be there for me. So yeah, I've got I found it. I was really lonely for a while because I didn't know anyone in the feat and so I went on meetup dot com and I found a couple of meetup groups. Yeah, amazing circle that way. I recommend anyone everyone yeah is your best friend.

And so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that. That's my that's I love hearing you say that.

Uh.

For a lot of reasons. Uh, and I hope uh. This is not an ad for meetup dot com. But it also it's an official it's an unofficial one because I have a very strong belief that, like you know, there are so many doomer takes about the Internet, which a lot of them are pretty fucking valid, I'll say that, but it's here to stay, and there's a lot of prose to it, which is that the world is more

Yeah?

I did Facebook groups too, I'm help. My My biggest thing is I have really bad social anxiety. My trick before going to if you're the same way, is on the way, stop to get yourself a coffee. Practice talking to the brista and ordering your coffee and just remind yourself that talking to people is just like ordering a coffee.

Mm hmmmm hmmm hmm. Well, congratulations, Allison. I'm really stoked to hear that, and I'm yeah, yeah, I love I love the whole thing of of like going out of your way to make new friends because it's a tough thing to do, and you know, I get a lot of calls about it, and it's something that I think about a lot in my own life too. Of Like, you know, if I moved to a new place or did a new thing or whatever, like, how would I go about trying to meet people? So kudos to you, Allison.

Thank you so much. While I just want to wish everyone a happy holidays. Oh and I want to say you had an interview a while back about this person that worked at RBS and Chop Chicken and Chop Chicken Land. I want to say that I use that phrase with my therapist now all the time. I want to say that that thank you for what you do, Like that really positively affected me and gave me tools to talk about how I'm feeling.

So I'm very sorry.

What holidays.

Hey you too, man, you take care all right?

Thank you as well.

I know, uh, that was a great call. Yeah, the the that was really cool. I liked that she she really had an ARC to her that is inspiring. I mean, I I I love I love any call that starts with you know, I was in the hospital and I was depressed, and you know, things were pretty shitty, and ends with you know. Now I have all these friends and I'm working out on things in a positive way. And I just said now that I love calls where

Hey, how you doing, buddy? I want to just preface and apologize in advance to the audience if they hear me like moaning and groaning actually going through an incredible amount of pain passing kidney stones right now. So that's that's kind of why I wanted to call it, just to distract myself and get my mind off the pain as much as possible, and rant a little bit about America's healthcare system here because it's not been true to me the best.

So the fact that you want to take your mind off the pain, does that mean I should not ask you about the kidney stones?

No? No, please do. It's just like to do something other than just lay there shaking in pain as a huge plus.

So the kidney stone, that's when you're like peeing rocks out of your penis, right, So.

Yeah, what happens is you get some kind of build up. It's usually like calcium or some other material that you're kidney's I get. I believe they naturally produce somebody you have like an overproduction. And then so a lot of people this is like, this is the third time I've dealt with this, and this time it's taking I've been passing them for three days now, and the first two instances they passed within the day. So this is just

Yeah, it sounds like you're not.

It's not at all asle It's I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Honestly, It's like I talk to women, Oh no, dude, it's.

Who's who's your who's your worst enemy? Devon?

Luckily I don't have many. I'm kind of keep to myself.

Uh so, if you've never had a worst enemy, how do you know that you wouldn't wish this on them?

That's fair, that's fair.

I say, wait until I say you wait until somebody really fucking crosses you. I guess your worst enemy would be the kidney stones themselves. Would you wish that like the kidney Would you wish kidney stones upon kidney stones?

That's fair? Yeah, you know what, those those guys can get a taste of their own medicine for once, and.

Maybe so you would wish it upon your worst I.

Would, And yeah, you're right analyzing it. Yeah, maybe that's why I'm getting the stones. Maybe it's like karma.

I don't know, it's true, it's true. Yeah, so God's way of punishing.

You very well could be because I mean, I've done some questionable stuff in my life where I'm sure that I've been fucked the pain and hurt on other people, and other than this, I've got a pretty cushy, nice life.

What do you so tell me? So let's elaborate. Hold hold me on there real quick. What do you feel like you might have done in your life?

It's like ex girlfriends. I used to think I used to think I was like a little player, so you know, and growing up on the MySpace and Instagram, you know, dropping the d ms, it makes it so easy to like be promiscivous. So I'm thinking, you know, possibly those occurrences of kind of being in dirt back to the women I've dated in the past could be my karma.

Is it is it weird to me that I feel like internalizing this this is crazy? Is it weird to me, Devin, that you internalizing this idea even if it's like not true, like this idea that you deserve it, Like, doesn't that

I mean those are no, those are very valid points. I do think. You know, I've been cheated on. It doesn't feel great, especially when you're like super into the person. But let me tell you, man, just this amount of pain, there's like nothing I feel anyone could do short of like murder, murdering someone that they would actually like warrant how bad this feels. Because it's like the first time

See Devin, I what about I mean, I think at this point we should just make like even if you didn't do this, like, let's make up things that you did wrong, Like have you ever like pushed a child or something like that. Like I'm saying, what, let's let's say that you convince yourself that you did, and now the kidney stones are punishment for that, like at least

You know what I'm saying, right, No, I you know, I'm trying perting myself in that headspace. And if I'm like, you know, really sold on the idea that this is my payment for all the bad jus you I've put out in the world, then you know what, if this is the price I have to pay to like clear up listens if you want to call them that, then.

Yeah, I mean that's like when I I'm not like a hyper religious person. I don't think like when I die, I'm going to be like showing a movie reel of everything bad I've done in my life, that kind of thing.

But if there is something after the after this life, and they're like, you know what, you and Jert Chidney Stone three times in your life to make up and pay your Hey, you pay the price for everything you've done so you can come back as like a million like the next Elon Musk or something I would happily.

You know, Devin, do you feel do you feel sufficiently distracted from your kidney stones? Dude?

Absolutely. I'm reading the comments right now. It's pretty hilarious. And and someone says something about soda. I'm guilty of that. Costco had like a case of the really good coca cola from Mexico and the glass bottle of the real cane sugar. And you know, when you got a whole case of that, you're gonna drink as much as your heart desire.

What causes kidney stones?

For some people, it is a very big trigger as well as like yellow something of another red like the food coloring dyes and like mountains Jela like these uh these that's it for some people.

Talk about how if you drink enough mountain dew you can't come because we all five like it's ready to sperm.

Interesting, interestingly enough, one of the prescriptions the doctors wanted me to take, which I didn't take because I read the potential side effects it does correct because of what it does is supposed to make you retain more water and have like heavier flow piece to get get more pressure in there to eject the kinney zone. But some of the side effects were like erection lasting too long towards painful you have to go to the doctor, or

Ahead, well, Devin, listen before we go. I want you to know something. Maybe maybe this makes you feel better. Sure you've your pain that you've shared with us. This evening has done us all a service because now everyone listening to like, think about this, Devin. Everyone listening to this now like whatever. Like let's say somebody was in their car and the like say, someone that's listened to this in their car right now, and they're like in traffic and they're like, so pissed off and upset with

You, thanks man, That means a lot coming from you.

Is there is there anything else that you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.

Take care of yourself. Drink more water, don't drink todas or tease everything in moderation. But yeah, take care of yourselves because you know, you only get older with time and your body starts to break down more and more and has less opportunity to recover as it does in

At least now you have lots of time to you know, lay in bed and go on Instagram if you know what I'm saying, oh God, thank you for calling Devin there.

Hey, thanks, Well, it's always a pleasure.

But I feel like I transition too seamlessly from taking things seriously to not taking things seriously that maybe people think that I'm being serious when I'm not, whether they think I'm not being serious when I am. And I'll never tell.

God.

I feel great right now, not having kidney stones. Thank you for calling Deren there.

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