“I PICK UP MY AUNT’S POOP”

Hello, Hey, what's up this Lyle? Yeah? Who is this?

Map?

What's up Matt? How's that?

Well, life's been pretty terrible in all honesty.

Let's fucking get into it, baby.

Well, I guess since since like COVID hit, I've been kind of stuck in this house taking care of my ninety forty old aunt. Well, yeah, and her h her help has just kind of been getting worse and worse over time. You know, he doesn't forget who I am or anything, but you know, she's kind of in la la land, you know what I'm saying. You know, I just gotta like I take care of everything. I make her food, and I have to clean up after her and that sort of thing. And it's just been very stressful.

How often that you have to clean Well, she.

Doesn't get diary. It's more like she goes to the bathroom and there's a how can I say, there's a little presence left behind. Sometimes she doesn't make it to the toilet fully.

So like you're picking up logs that like you're picking up a bylog by logs? Is that like law side logs?

Yeah?

Yeah, that occurs on the on the way from the chair that she sits in all day to the bathroom, okay, what else.

Home? You know, And it's just it's just kind of sad watching her decline. I mean, it's just I mean, our family has talked about putting her in a home, but she's the type of person she's always been. She's always been like a homebody alone. She'd always remember we go out or like go out of dinner with her or something. She always want to get home right away. Not very sociable person, never was married, that sort of thing.

How old are you?

Oh? I'm gonna be turning twenty sixth on December third?

Cool man?

Uh, what what's your life like? I, in all honesty, I don't really do much other than you know, I keep an ear out for her and then I just sort of sit around.

I do play music, that is something I do as like a hobby.

But uh, you so, I mean did you just was that you farting or was that your aunt?

No? No, no, that was sorry. I didn't expect to get a call. So so.

When you get anxious.

No, that was my that was my list, dude.

You know, yeah, okay, that's a cute tick. You do little raspberries when you get nervous. That's fun.

A little high.

You deserve it, you you're out here picking up side logs, all right. You deserve to get high and fart all over the place.

Now.

All right, So you've been doing this for three years, you said, since like the pandemic.

Yeah, pretty much. I mean her health wasn't as bad at the very beginning, but she had like a bad ball and broke her reds and it's just been downhill from there.

And you and this has been making you severely depressed for the past three years. Yeah, okay. Now, I have a bunch of questions about this. Are you the who? Where's everyone else? Where's where's your mom? Where's her? Why are you? Why is it you who's doing this? Where's everyone?

My dad's aunt? I mean, he he lives very close by, and you know he he comes by every once in a while. But there's really my family is very small. I have two uncles. They don't live in the same state. One of them lives in a different country. You know, all her direct family is basically gone, so it's really just me and I have a brother, but he's in eating school right now.

Oh mhm, So I guess how old is your brother?

He's eighteen.

He's eighteen. And then you're what's your Tell me again what your Your dad lives close? But why is he not helping you with this?

Oh?

I mean he does help out. I mean he's just not he's not here every day, Okay.

I guess.

I just.

It feels a little and I don't know. Man, I don't want to speak out of turn here because it's I know, it's a These kinds of issues are complicated, but it feels unfair to me that you're the only one that's sacrificing your life to, you know, help out.

Yeah. I think I hear that from other people too.

Well, tell me about this. Let's say that you didn't you didn't feel this this deep responsibility to do this, What would you be doing with your life instead?

Yeah, that's the problem. I don't. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

I mean, you must have an inkling of an idea, of a sum, any sort of it could even be vague. It can you can be like I want to.

Well, I did go to whatever it is like to do audio engineering stuff, but I've always kind of struggled with anxiety, and I sort of had a a nervous breakdown at one point and that was the end of that.

That was what will cause? Will cause that nerve? Wait? How old? You said? You're sixteen?

No? No, no, in twenty sixteen that happened.

Okay, what cause your nervous breakdown?

I don't know.

I just.

I don't really want to get too dark, but I was just kind of like I had been seeing somebody on campus right like a like a therapist, and they preside me and I need a presence because I wasn't really doing too great mentally. I don't know. I guess I just wasn't a jous staying to the normal every day of my life at that point. I don't know what's going on. I was smoking a lot of weed that probably didn't help.

You mentioned Are you still smoking a lot of weed?

Yeah? Like, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was very young, and when I got to college, I didn't want to take my meds anymore because they made me feel like a zombie, like I couldn't talk to people. It was very hard. Yeah, and you know, I don't like to drink, and I guess I got attached at smoking bud. Kind of not the greatest thing, but it's I guess my self medicate with it in a way.

It's funny. I'm also turning twenty six in December. A big fucking pothead was diagnosed with the ADHD as a little kid. But didn't want to take my medication because maybe you feel like a fucking zombie. Hmmm, so you really have no idea, I mean you have like you have no idea at all of anything. Did you graduate?

No? I dropped that after once semester. I a semester and I have since then. I took therapy, and I had a couple jobs, and I met my girlfriend and and then the pandemic hit and it just kind of I've been stuck here.

You have a girlfriend, well not anymore. M You don't have to talk about if you don't want to. But what did how long ago? Was was that not a thing?

Well, it's sort of been an ongoing issue. She she moved out in like August. We were just kind of, I mean, me dealing with my own issues and her having her own problem. I guess we just sort of a clash and then you know, doing just tours around the house, Like we'd fight over doing the dishes, you know that sort of thing. We had a dishwasher here and it stopped working, you know, like who who would who would have like carry their share and stuff like that,

Through with that, you know, yeah, yeah, But do you have a job? Do you make money?

No?

Not currently?

Okay? Did you have you had like since you left college, have you had a job or has it always.

Has your had to casheering jobs? M hm. Work at a grocery store and then I work at a big loss.

Do you have any pipe dreams?

Do I have any? I mean, I like, I'd like for people listen to my music, but I don't like it's so I I wish I could have the attention span just sit down and work on something. But it's just a struggle, like I'll have like little bursts of ideas and I never follow through on them.

M hm.

M hmm. Dear friends, do you see people outside of your aunt? Not really, that's what state I have.

I have plenty of friends in college, but they all kind of ghosted me. Uh huh, that's where I left.

Mm hmm.

CA's what state you live in? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I'm curious. Connecticut, Connecticut? All right? Do you live in here? A major city at all?

I guess closest would be New York mm hmm.

What's your relationship like with your aunts? Well?

I I loved my grandmother, who was her sister mm hmmm, and they were like is irreseparable and like the both of them. My parents were always working when I was growing up, so like they both of them kind of would watch me. Oh. I guess I just feel some sort of deep responsibility because in all honesty, I don't really think my uncles care that much like my dad does care, but he well I should. I should mention my father.

He's been going through his second bout of cancer on top of everything, so that's that's really why he hasn't been around here that much.

Been busy with that, which is obviously understandable. But I don't really have a big family. They're all I've got, and once they're gone, I mean, yeah, that's it, you know, man, this is you know.

I feel like I've talked to some people on the podcast recently who like had this issue of like taking care of somebody versus like living their own lives, and I don't know, I feel like it's a personal decision, but I will say, you know, it's a personal decision. I think about, like, you know, do you prioritize yourself or is this responsibility that you feel to your family, you know, more important than you not hating your life

You know, if you're just constantly I mean obvious it is because I'm really not doing great.

Yeah yeah, and I don't think you And look, man, by the way, I want you to know, I think it's very noble what you're doing, and you seem like a good guy. So it is a bummer that you're like not giving yourself the chance to develop your own life, you know.

Yeah.

And also I and you know, I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

Well he's doing a lot better, but that was that was all kind of culminating while my girlfriend was living here. Yeah, yeah, you know, this was like more towards the being either and since then he's been doing a lot better, thankfully. It's just been a very hard year. M hm.

Hm.

Can how about I mean, how about this if if if we were to because you know, look, I'm gonna we're gonna end this phone call, and uh, you know, I hope that I hope, I hope it was of some benefit to talk about this. Is there like, what is there one thing, how however fucking small, Is there one thing or however big, that you can do just for yourself? You know, Like now, like, is do you have any idea of what that could be if you were just doing one thing for yourself.

I mean, uh yeah, I don't I really don't know what that would entail. I guess it would be nice to have, like a vacation, but it's just not something that's feasible primely, I do all honestly, I don't know.

I I can't tell you to push your aunt down a flight of stairs and go to Mexico, but I do think that what uh uh, I'll land I'll land on this because this is the case, it's a complicated issue, and it's about is a real personal choice. I'll land on this. I hope, okay, I'll land on this. I hope that every day when you make this choice, that you're going to take on this responsibility to help your aunt at the expense of, you know, other things that you could be doing with your life as a as

Yeah, I get what you're saying. I'm nobody's forcing me to do this. Like I said, I really don't feel like I could live with myself. Will we put her in a home or something and then she's dead within a month, because I'm pretty sure that's how her mother went.

She was all up. She's ninety four.

You said she's my great aunt, not my aunt. I want to be specific, buddy.

I don't want to tell you what to do, man, but like, ninety four is a pretty fucking good run.

Dude, Yeah, I know, a very stubborn one. I'll tell you that.

Ninety four is a good what's your name? Yeah, man, ninety four is a good run. If you put her in a home and she dies, she had a good run. Brother. And by the way, it's not like, by the way, the whole by the way putting her in a I don't where were you getting this? Where are you getting this from? That put that she will die if you put her in a home.

Because in all honesty, I feel like you know, she's very attached to her house. She's incredible. She's always been a home buddy. She's been incredibly attached to this house her whole life. Well then, well, then like taking her out of her environment with.

Just why doesn't she why doesn't she pay for somebody to dude, why doesn't she pay for somebody to help her.

We've tried, We've tried to get people to come in and like through her health insurance, and they only come for like a few weeks and then that's it. We've tried, We've tried and tried. We're not loaded here, unfortunately, I wish we were. But if she got put in the home, the house would probably have to get put towards that. Like it's a little diar here.

You have a man butt. But like I I don't. I don't. I feel bad going on and on about this because I don't, but like kind of out us. Look, dude, at a certain point, like look, here's the thing. I want to make sure that when I'm ninety five years old, like you have, she has a little bit of personal responsibility. We all know we're gonna get old, and we have a little bit of personal responsibility to make sure that

I mean, I get what you're saying. She's just like she's kind of in la la lamb. Like I don't even know if she realizes so it is. It's just very difficult.

What's your name again, now, Matt? Well, Matt, thanks for talking about all this stuff.

I hope, just man, I appreciate you calling me, dude. I've been listening to your podcast has been helping me stay sane.

So cool. Well, I'm glad to hear that.

Man.

I just.

If you leave this conversation with anything, I hope it's that you are making an intell I just I just hope it's that you're making this intentional decision every day instead of like letting all of this ship happen to you passively, because that's not because that would just to me feel like a waste. Because you're you know, you're a cool.

Young guy, all right, So I'm glad you think.

So thanks for calling, Matt, have a good one.

Thanks, man, a good one.

Fuck, dude, I don't know. This stuff is hard for me because like I really do, I really don't want to tell I Like, I mean, I do it a lot. I'm sure I do it a lot, but I really don't. Again, it's a personal decision whether you want to sacrifice your life for somebody who you feel like you owe some kind of debt too. If that's your prerogative, then sure,

Know that either?

Hello? Hello, who is this?

My name is sabbenas Venus.

You know what's up? Sabina?

Pretty good today?

I would say, where you call them from?

I'm calling from Denmark.

Oh cool? What part of Denmark?

Copenhagen?

Oh cool, Man. Copenhagen's just I mean, it's one of my favorite cities in the world. Man, it's very Uh, it's a live everyone's riding, everyone's.

Eating oh yeah, the bike.

You know what's fucked up is like Americans are known for being obese and gross, but uh, I went over. Every time I go over to like Europe, it's like everyone's only drinking coke and beer and cakes. Like they eat way worse over there, but for some reason they're they're not fat.

Yeah, yes, yeah, I think so.

We eat a lot of how do you put it?

Crap? It's on a daily basis over here.

Sweeden is worse though, Yeah, Sweden h the seven eleven. I went to a seven eleven it's in Sweden, and they had like a spaghetti station there. It was like, yeah, did that you you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, exactly.

Have you tried the fast.

Mesh fast mash? What's a fast mash.

It's like a coffee machine. They have it like tank stations, but it dispenses like mashed potatoes.

So you're telling me that you guys have a mashed potato dispenser at your seven elevens and we are the fat folks.

Yeah, well Sweden has that, it's not in Copenhagen.

Sadly, yep, all right, I'm gonna have to try that. I'm gonna have to try that. It's annoying and I just every single one of these podcasts is just gonna be me ranting about fast food, which I guess is fine, but it's such a bum I'm sure I've talked about this before. It's such a bummer that or every classically American fast food brand socks in America and is better abroad.

I could I really could imagine I've tried a few, like classic American stuff like the food loops and Twinkies and all that, and you always hear about how it's the greatest and they grew up with it and it's nostalgic and it just kind of tastes the same and extremely sweet. So I could imagine your seven lemons being very greasy.

Well, Sabina, I feel like you didn't call in to talk about seven eleven. So is there anything else in particular that you wanted to talk about today? Oh?

I think it was mostly the need to just talk. You know, I've had a rough couple of years, and I know that some people call in talk about nothing, and sometimes they talk about important stuff, but I think I just want to talk to someone. You know, I don't have a good relationship with a lot of people. But you know, sometimes it's just tough being the friend that always has the bad news.

You know, the friend that always has the bad news.

Yeah, you know, every time you see someone and.

They just never have anything good to say, right, And I'm extreme the stay of becoming that friend. So it's to me, it's become like I just don't talk about it.

Two anyway, Well, why have you had a rough couple of years.

Well, the first one is going to be a little hard to explain. But you've probably heard about the fact that in Denmark you get paid.

To go to school.

Yeah, yeah, I have heard about that.

Yeah, and it's kind of just like getting paid for your job. But it's so integrated into our society that we can't function if we don't have that. It's expected that we live our lives with the pay we get from school. But I took a three year education and one day they just all decided that that somehow I went to the wrong school or something, and and they wanted me to pay it all back.

And then you went to a school a lot.

Wait, so you went to a school that Denmark is like, oh wait, we actually don't cover this school, so you have to give us that money back.

Yeah, decided that all of a sudden, despite them like approving of it.

Are they allowed to do that? Well, I guess if you're a government of a country, you can kind of do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah.

But I had lawyers on it and everything. It wasn't just me, it was all the students that went to my class. Oh, we had a lawyer. Look, into it, and unfortunately, that particular place is protected by one paragraph that says that the student is responsible to figure out if the state is right in their approval.

So you did like a class action lawsuit.

We tried, but unfortunately due to the fact that it was already a part of the their rules and you know, in terms, and there wasn't really much we could do. We just got screwed.

So how many around? How many? So a bunch of a bunch of people who went to the school got fun How many people got fucked.

Well, at first we thought it was twenty four, but it turned out that it was also a student from earlier years, so around two hundred, and it was also people that whether they're from like it's almost ten years ago. I think we figured out that got hit by well what is it called. They had to pay it back for a school.

They went to, toy damn. So you're just going along living your life and all of a sudden, the Danish government hits you with a bill for your school that you went to ten years ago.

Yeah, exactly, that's what's happened to them.

So I'm curious, do you know personally anybody else who is in this group of two hundred people, and if so, like, do you know what they're doing? What their plan is to kind of deal with all this stuff?

Some of them, many of them dropped out. This happened for our class before we were even done with school, and many of them dropped out. So I lost contact with them automatically. But I had one really close friend who she also took a loan on the side. Didn't do that really cheap payback as well, if well, if the state doesn't get you really but it was almost half a million of the English crowns she had to pay back.

Yeah, what school for.

Fasion design?

Okay? Do you do you?

Were you able to get some kind of a job.

Kind of? I'm a freelancer and I'm doing pretty okay. It's the session market is the fashion market isn't really the biggest and broadest in in Europe or Denmark specifically, So I already knew that I couldn't work for like a company and I had to go freelancing. So I'm a hatmaker in Sweden at the moment, you're doing what in Sweden? I'm a a hat maker?

You make hats in Sweden? Yeah, that's cool. I like any kind of job that was, you know, they were doing in the seventeen hundreds, and I feel like a Swedish hat maker. It's cool that in the year of twenty twenty, almost twenty twenty four, there are still Swedish hat makers.

Oh yeah, it's it's huge. Whenever a Swedish student gets a PhD, they have to get the doctor's head. And that's the kind of hats I do. So I have a work every six months when they graduate.

Ah, that's smart. So how much dot are you? And from Danish fuckery?

Well, I was one hundred and seventy five thousand Danish crowns. I don't know how much that is, can I can I look it up? Requid?

Yeah, let's find that out. Let's see Danish crowns two usd okay, one hundred and seventy five one two three, it's about twenty five thousand dollars. Yeah, okay, not you know, when it comes to like student debt, I feel like that's not horrible.

Oh no, not at all compared to like what you get in America. From what I hear.

I mean, I'm like, good dude, some people in America are like, you know, high six figures in student debt. But but I mean, but it's I mean, it's it is, it does. It is made a little bit worse by the fact that you didn't, you know, because at least the people who go like six figures into debt like they knew they were going to take it on, whereas you didn't know you were going to even take that dead on. You just got fucked by by Denmark.

This has been the equivalent of having done a job for three years and then suddenly your boss comes back and say you didn't do your job. Probably therefore you have to pay off your entire payment. You have to get it back again. M. Well, it took all my savings, so I'm out of it luckily, but I don't have any money now.

Are you able to make decent enough money making hats?

M Yeah, it's okay. I'm probably going to go back to school to get some quote unquote real education at some point because I can't do it full time, sadly, and it's good pay, but it's not you know enough. Market's a very expensive city to live in, and even more now than ever.

I don't know what could possibly be realer than being a Swedish hat maker.

Thank you.

Well when you say when you say a real education, what does that mean?

You know, I've kind of come to the realization that i need to have a job, well another job on the side, to make it by and to save up comfortably and stuff like that. So I'm taking an education in children's psychology.

Oh cool, in January.

Hopefully, and then I'm going to be like a kindergarten teacher for a couple of years.

You know, I'm going to say this, Sabina, I'm sorry that you're struggling, but also on that on the other hand, it does it is kind of comforting to hear that people are economically fucked in Denmark too, because I think a lot of Americans think it's just us.

No, yeah, no, I think it's everybody, and the entirety of Scandinavia is really except no way they're doing great, because don't people.

Always and not by lot, I'm talking about things that I just have no idea about, and I just I'm like making this all up and have no idea what I'm talking about. But I feel like people always like point to Scandinavia as like, oh, this is how we should do things.

You know what I mean, yeah, yeah, in a lot of ways we do it. I would never I always think about living like somewhere that's really really warm, because these days we have minus five degrees celsius, which is pretty fucking cold and sweat. I'd love to go somewhere warm. But Scandinavia is just.

It's really really good.

It's it's it's the inn existenses. But the health care and the mental health care is it's nice and it doesn't it doesn't put depths on the children.

If you guys get you guys get free health care in Denmark.

Yes, always paid over the our taxes. Of course we have those abnormally high taxes so but but yeah, free health care and free mental health care.

I feel like they give you do they give you free popsicles when we go to the doctor, just like in general, just if you just get a yearly popsicle if you live in Denmark. Mmm.

No.

But every fourth years when we have like our what's it called the change of state the elections, people always standing like around the stations and they're giving out free bread and sometimes popsicles.

What's your name against Sabina, Yes, Sabina, well Sabina. I don't know. I mean, you sound like you're doing pretty good. When you said you had a I hope this isn't diminishing. But when you said you had a rough couple of years, I was expecting far worse. You sound like you're doing okay.

I am, but I'm doing okay.

But I've a.

I'm doing a lot of therapy at the moment for a lot of other couple of stuff, and that's really working for me. But I'm trying to stay positive, you know, mh just I spent the last six months being absolutely miserable. I had a terrible deadn't job at that time that really knocked me off my feet after the thing. But I'm out of it and not to therapy, and that's good.

Have you have you have you learned? And has therapy been helpful for you? Oh?

Yeah absolutely. I've done a psychotherapy with meta cognitive treatment. I think it's called in English.

No, no, no, it's.

It's learning to uh to look at your own thoughts and feeling as neutral I'm not not as a part of yourself.

So yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard of that stuff, like the whole, the whole you are not your thoughts idea.

Yeah, I don't know.

Well, I don't know, man, because if you're not like, that's an interesting thing to think about, because if you're not your thoughts, then what are you?

Yeah?

Yeah, that's uh. I asked about that as well, and my my therapist she said, that's the eternal question that they always ask themselves and we should ask ourselves. But we are not our thoughts.

We are not our thoughts. We are a talking gecko and a Swedish hat maker. Yes, Sabina, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

I hope that.

Everybody stands up for themselves and hangs in there, because I know everybody is struggling in these times, but I think it's going to be better and hopefully somedays the how is Margaret Precious.

Having the rest of the night?

You too?

Thank you bye, Sabina. All you know, what I'm realizing is that we actually on the I think. On the most recent podcast we also had a Danish caller, and I also talked a lot about Danish seven eleven for real, if you have, if you've ever, if you ever go to seven eleven, you've got to get the honey chicken at the at the Danish seven eleven. It's really good. It's better if you go on like a Yelp or whatever, their trip advisor, whatever the fuck, it'll tell you all

All from Jarrett. Hello, Hello, Oh my god, am I actually with you?

Yeah? What's your name, Doug?

Oh?

Hey, my name is Jarrett.

Jarrett. What's happening?

I need it? Uh? I woke up to your stream and was dedicated to get onto it, and now.

Here we are, Jared, Jared Man, Hell, yeah, what's up?

Man?

What do you well? I feel like, you know, if you're dedicated to getting on the stream, I feel like there was something you wanted to talk about. It's okay. Yeah.

A while ago, it was like the biggest thing I wanted to do because I was like really depressed and I just needed like somebody random and anonymous to talk to. And then I saw your stream and then I was just like, oh, this is perfect, and so I set aside some time because I'm like always busy now and I hate it to try and talk to you. And well, now here I am. But now life is kind of okay. It's a little bit better, but it's still ambiguous, and I don't know what to do.

What do you mean by ambiguous?

Well, I have all these things going for me, but I don't know. I feel like I'm getting nowhere in life, and I feel like I'm wasting a lot of opportunity, and I feel really bad about it, and I just I don't know. I'm in college, I have jobs, I work with my parents, but I'm going nowhere.

What opportunity do you have that you feel as though you were wasting.

The fact that I go to college. I know that's not I know it's like something a lot of people in America do, but like a lot of people also don't get the chance to go to college. I don't know. I just I went into I went to school, or I went to high school just because it was the only thing to do, and then I went to college just because it was the only thing to do. My parents were just you know, telling me, like, it's the

And we are on the cusp of World War three, which will be fought with guns, but famously, world War four will be fought with sticks and stones. So if you get in early on the blacksmithing in about thirty years, you might be the most in demand skillsmen in the United States.

Then I can't wait for World War four.

You're gonna make a lot of money off of World War four. How old are you?

I'm twenty?

Okay, what do you mean you why?

Well?

I still after everything you've told me, don't understand why you feel guilty or like you're wasting something. What do you feel like you're wasting? Well?

Everything that I do, I well, at least recently. No, that's not true, because my whole life I feel like I haven't really achieved anything other than just kind of getting by, And like.

What the fuck are you supposed to have achieved by now?

I don't know, Like I look at all my friends around me, and they've achieved stuff, like some of them are already.

No, like which of your hold on, hold on, hold on which of your friends are millionaires.

I have this one friend, Okay, I don't want to get too specific, but I went to a private school with a bunch of like richie prissy kids, and they're pretty nice. But one of them's already like he invested in like crypto and stuff like that, and now he's a millionaire and he's like, it's oh man. And then another person like they're already ahead on their college degree and they're already like they're already graduated college and they're onto their or their PhD.

I think, yeah, before them. Look, look, look some people, some hold on. Some people got a lot of money from their parents, put it into cryptocurrency and it made them a lot of money, and that's what happened to them. That's their life. Who gives a ship Does an affect you at all?

That's true, I guess.

Well, And by the way, that's not really I mean, I don't really know what if that's I mean, I'm not going to knock it. I mean it's you know, they have a lot of money. That's always it's cool. Having a lot of money is cool, but like, well they didn't they didn't really do anything.

That's true.

What do you want to do? What do you want to what do you want to do? What do you like? Actually? Because I mean right now, you're just getting mad at yourself because you don't have ten Ethereum, I.

Guess I don't know. That's the other thing I want to talk to about this. I have no clue. I've never known what I wanted to do with my life.

Uh.

I've always just enjoyed the hobbies that I do.

All right, What are the hobbies that you do aside from just blacksmithing'.

I like rock climbing, skateboarding, uh, scuba diving? What else? I play music? I love playing like piano. Whenever I'm like frustrated.

Bro, it sounds like you do a lot of things.

I do a lot I have. I do martial arts and stuff too. It's just I don't know, man, I can't make a career I have any of this stuff.

You're a renaissance man, you know. I uh so, So it's what it's about, like making money?

Yeah, it's mainly I just want to be successful, not about making money, but just enough to like live comfortably and to support a family, because I do want a family one day.

Yeah, you know, This is all interesting because I I, you know, well, what does successful look.

Like to you? What my parents are like right now

But so are you saying that but like by having a big house is successful for you.

No, We're not in a big house. It's just like a medio gresse. I'm just saying, like, if I could own my own place live, make enough to like buy to buy groceries for the week, and to also like going vacations.

Number what's the number? What's an amount of money? Who do you want to make.

That? I want to at least a million year?

You want to.

Dude?

Fuck you shut the fuck up. You're like you said. You said, well, it's funny because you said I want to I just want to have enough to support a family, and because you went from you, dude, you just went from I want to have enough to support a family and get groceries and blah blah blah, and then you were like, I want to make a million dollars a year, which, hey, it's seventy years. That might be the number to support a family and get groceries, but it's not right now.

Oh shit, maybe like five K, that five hundred K.

Sorry, you want to make five hundred thousand dollars a year.

Yeah, I would say at least that then, because that between five hundred k. And I was like, it's like the average, I guess, or not like the average for everybody in America.

But just like, dude, hold on, five hundred thousand dollars, all right. I don't know what school you went to, but it is brainwashed you. Five hundred thousand dollars is not the average salary in America.

I know, No, I know, I meant, I meant, I meant that, like like like in general, I guess it's just what I want, what I want, that's my success.

And Okay, that's yours. That's that's that's yours. But there's nothin I'm not, by the way, there's nothing wrong with wanting to make a lot of money. I don't think there's anything wrong with that if that's if that's your prerogative in life. Okay, so you want to make five hundred thousand dollars a year.

Yeah, at least I would say, because that's that's what I mean by live comfortably, because then you can like get the things you want and still have enough to pay the bills and all that kind of stuff.

Okay, I'm gonna buy all right, I'm gonna tell you a few things. One is that money is like a tool, you know, if you just and if you just start randomly spouting off like, oh, I want to make five hundred thousand dollars because that's how much it costs to live comfortably. You're you you need to I'm gonna get

No?

I do?

I do?

Or's is okay?

You?

Yeah? Yeah? I guess that's the normal way to look at it. Then I don't know, just hyper inflated throughout like thinking throughout my life.

I guess yeah, because you're crazy and you grew up around a bunch of crazy people who all have a million dollars in in in doge coin or whatever. But uh, I mean, dude, like what also?

Right?

I mean you're also twenty man? Like what?

Yeah?

Gars a bay? Any of this stuff? Go go be poor.

I'm a junior in college too, and I've failed at least three classes and okay, I don't know if I'm gonna graduate on time and all that kind of like stress. My parents are kind of like they're not like strict, but they're also they also like want me to do well, so they stay on top of me quite a bit. And if I ever like get like a C or a D, then they start to like really pounce on me. So when I failed three courses in a year, they were not happy with me.

So okay, and what do you now? I'm just kind of floating, bro, what's your name again?

Jarrett?

Jarrett? Jarrett Jarrett? You're crazy?

Man?

I hold on, Jarrett, You're no, You're it's you're the good kind of crazy. Okay, all right, let's get can we can we I'm just trying to calm down for a second. What are you? What are you studying in school?

Currently? My major is biochemistry, but I want to change it over to chemistry because I don't know it just chemistry just comes easier to me than biology.

Jarret, Do you like chemistry?

But yeah, it's exciting enough to me to be like, oh I could I could stare at this for hours?

Okay, It's it's good enough that you could do it for the rest of your life.

I don't know about that.

Okay.

That's that's why that's where I come. That's where like my inner conscience comes in, and it's just like, well, hold on their pal and I'm like, I'm very scared to commit to it because I like doing other things too.

Okay, because honestly, because you know, also, I don't think there's anything wrong with like, I mean, Jared, you're a renaissance man. You listed off like six different hobbies. Yeah, And I don't think there's anything wrong at all with having some shitty jade day job and then on the side doing your hobbies and living your life.

I guess so.

But I still, I'm still I just the reason I said you're crazy is because for a lot of reasons is because you are, like, oh, I'm twenty and I haven't accomplished anything yet, and I'm gonna beat myself up about it and freak out about it because I don't have a million dollars in cryptocurrency like my friend does care and also, you know, I need to make five hundred thousand dollars to buy groceries. You know. You're yeah, you gotta you gotta come, you gotta come back down

Yeah, it's more than just the fact I don't know. I'm just I'm kind of scared to talk about a lot of this stuff. But I don't really care at this point. What do you mean?

Why what do you hold on? What are you Why are you scared to talk about this stuff?

Because like that's just like the start, that's where it starts. I just I don't think I'm a failure in life, because like I crashed my car a lot and I had to pay it all off, so I lost all my money, and then I failed college. I barely made it out of high school. Well it's not completely true, but like yeah, and then I said, like I didn't really achieve anything. I don't have anything out there with my name on it other than like maybe my Instagram.

Bro, you're you're scuba diving in blacks thing. You're not a failure.

Those aren't Like.

But I just Jared, listen, I'm not taking back what I said about you being crazy. You're crazy, but you're not a failure. Okay, you're not. You're not a failure. You're you're too you're too young to write yourself off as a failure. Because you got into a car accident and because you are skipping. You know, you fucked up some classes. You just stop doing that. Don't write, don't write yourself off as a failure. Okay, just stop doing that today, all right?

Yes, yes, mister, okay, yeah, it just it gets to.

Me you're not You're not You're not a failure because you, you know, fucked up a little bit here and there, as in, you're at the age of twenty and I mean, let me ask you a couple of questions. Did you kill anyone in this car accident?

No? No, no, no no?

Did you get did you get three five times above the alcohol limit for driving and murder a six year old girl? Lord?

God?

No?

All right, look, these these are my standards for for failure. All right. Did you did you get somebody pregnant?

No?

God, okay, I wish I did though, But no, dude, you're crazy, all right?

I want it like because that would mean I would have a relationship with something like a really strong.

Really no, you don't know you dude. Okay, here's the thing. No, because here's the thing I want you to. I want you to know something. Oh you know something?

Okay, all right, you.

You having no money and being twenty is fine. You having no money and being twenty and having a kid is not fine. But you haven't. You having no money m right now and it's just you and you're not responsible for anyone else. Yeah, you're fine, You're not a failure. You're fine. Okay, Okay, all right, you're fine. Just can you trust me that you're fine?

All right?

I don't even know what I was saying to you, but uh, look, you didn't fucking kill anything like just you've given me no reason as to why you're a failure who should go die in the woods. And that's what I'm sensing is how you feel about yourself. And I don't think you should you should feel that way anymore.

Oh, okay, thank you. I just I don't know, it's been I don't know. Maybe it's been getting in my own head. I don't know. It's just it's been rough for me at least lately. And that's why I wanted to talk to you.

How do you feel about the conversation that we've had so far?

I guess better kind of made me also chat really helped with like them flaming on me. You realize I know.

I haven't looked at the chat. I don't know if they're I don't really care.

Whether they or not they're flaming on you, but they can flame.

Sorry. Ah, you're fucking crazy, dude, Jared. Why don't you go make Why don't you go? You know what? You know what? I think you need to do what I think you're two in your head and you got to go make a sword?

Dude? You're right.

Why don't you go make a sword? Dude?

That is a good idea. Just spend some time making a sword. It's cold outside, though, to make a sword, because that's where the forges go.

Buddy, go make a fucking go be a back smith, Go be Skyrim. Go make a fucking sword in the cold. Do it? That sounds awesome. I want to make a sword in the cold, I guess so in the snow. That sounds sick, dude.

I'll save it for breaks because I have finals and shit coming up to thank you to study four.

Okay, we'll go do that and just I don't know, Jared, don't beat yourself up so much because you don't have a million dollars.

Thank you, mister gecko.

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before.

We go, one more thing. I've been wanting to save this on such a big platform for so long. Learn to trim your animals toenails. Please, for the love of God, do that.

I'm very glad that you chimed in with maybe the most random thing you possibly could have said. At the end of this call, thank you for that.

You're welcome, Take care, Jared, good luck, you two get go.

Who I want all? I want a million dollars. I'd be sick. But you know what, we can't all have. We can't all have a million dollars in cryptocurrency, and if we did, it would be worthless. That's what. That's what. That's what. Maybe the government should just give us all a million dollars and we'd all be happy. You know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna run for president and my platform is that I'm gonna give Didn't Kanye West say that once? Didn't he say that we should give

Was teaching you a

Loud in the memory line, but he's not ready an expert