All from Shabo.
Hello, Yeah, it was this wild Yeah, who is this Sabo? What kind of name is Sabo?
Is that?
I assume that's not your real name?
No time, or it's my explorer name?
What what? What do you explore?
Uh?
You know, like the sewers and old caves and abandoned buildings, that kind of thing.
How long have you been exploring sores for? Uh?
Probably like a couple of years now. Yeah. I just I got into it because one day I showed up to work. I used to work at a tropical fish store, and uh, it was really slow day and my coworkers showed up high it was just like chill with it is whatever.
Uh.
And then at the very end of the shift, he just asked me if I wanted to go check out a I got a cave in a sewer and I had nothing better to do, so.
I went, how long had you known this guy before he asked you if you wanted to check out a cave and a sewer with him?
I want to say, only like four months.
That's a good enough amount of time to know somebody before you go into a cave with them. Tell me about cave guy, cave guy.
Well, there are multiple cave guys. There are a lot of cave guys, but you want to know about the cave guy.
I want to know. When I say cave guy, I mean the guy who took you to a cave.
Okay, yeah, so he I don't know, he was just another I mean he was my age and I guess he'd been doing it since he was like young, like thirteen, which seems kind of like where was his parents? But you know, hey, man, he he can do him.
No, he was cool.
We just worked at a dingy tropical fish store together and like occasionally we would like smoke weed before and after work, and uh, yeah, I don't know who's chill. I loved dude. He was a great guy. He moved out to Florida.
But that really does have to be one of the best jobs ever.
Just pretty good, honestly.
Getting high in a store that nobody goes into ever, that's almost certainly a front for something else. And then afterwards and then you meet every little guys who take you into caves. That's so that's a sick job. That's a sick job.
Sorry, someone's knocking out my door. No, it was a fucking awesome job, Like I mean, I love fish tanks. I'm surrounded by pretty fish. You know, it's like dimly lit. All the tanks are like super old. It did look like a front, like it had the building had no windows. Everybody I talked to thought it was a front.
I even had people.
Come in like and ask me if I sold drugs, like late at night because they thought it was a front for like fucking trust. Ugly, it was fucking stupid.
How many times per shift would a customer come in?
Oh, I mean like during the weekdays, like only like four or five. Honestly, on the weekends it could get pretty busy. I mean there's a lot of people who got who got fish they got to take care of.
You know.
But during the weekdays it was pretty dead.
Bro.
I really think about this stuff all the time, Like, you know, what, can I ask what city this fish store is in?
Uh?
Yeah, Minneapolis, Okay, I mean because I always wonder, like, Okay, there's certain like to keep a business open costs a lot of money every month, right, and it's like there's a certain amount of.
A tropical fish that you need to sell to like break even, and then you got to sell like double that to actually make any money, So how the fuck does this fish store afford to stay open?
By the owner is a total cheap skate. He like he paid me like less than in a wage, and then he also like genuinely talked about me to me about how like he didn't believe minimum wage should be a thing. He was like, it's like I should be able to negotiate, you know, by wages with my prospective employees, you know, as you know, as.
He was paying me, Like listen, what's your name again, Sabo? Sabo? I'm look, I'm all for workers a minimum wage, okay, but it's it sounds like you got paid about as much as you should to get high and look at fish all day.
I didn't just get high like a fish all day, dude. I was like cleaning the tanks and stuff like that, just like I mean, and like on busy days, like I was selling like thousands of dollars worth of like fish tanks and stuff like that. So I thought, I was, well, I mean, it depends on the fish.
You know.
There are some fish that are only like two dollars apiece, but then there were several fish that were like three or four hundred dollars you know, it really depended on the kind of fish.
Do you still work at this place?
Oh no, no, no, no.
Still, but but your love for exploring abandoned stuff carried over.
Hm, yes, and yeah it was actually really funny. Yeah, no, I still explore bandanciers. And it was really funny because like, so I I don't work there anymore. I have a
different job. And then at my next job, there was another guy who was like even more into exploring than the first guy who had showed me a bunch of more stuff, and like, dude, he took me like like underground festivals, right, Like there's like a whole week long thing in Minneapolis where like people come from all over the country just to explore our our tunnels and stuff.
It's pretty crazy.
Ah, that is pretty cool. What's what's the festival called.
It's called Mauser Week.
Mauser Week. Tell me about Mauser Week.
Uh yeah, I mean, I don't know. It's it's pretty simple, honestly. Yeah, It's just a bunch of people from all around the country, even in the world, who just enjoy like urban exploring, and so they come to come to Minneapolis for a week, and uh, we just have to throw big like cave parties and stuff like that and explore together and just have a good time in general.
Anything crazy. You ever go down at these cave parties?
Oh yeah, dude. Last year there was a prohibition esquitarian themed party and like an old bootlegging cave and uh, there was like a projector with a silent movie. There was like a whole ass horse skeleton. There was like an art gallery. There was a barter blackjack. There was a full cocktail bar. Like people like tapped into the street lamps nearby and like ran power into the cave, so it was fully lit up and we even had internet.
And then like there was performances. There was like fire dancers and like music, and then there was a sewer back where there was like the pure surface dwellers versus like the dirty sewer people, and they like got into a battle, but then by the end they like became friends and were dancing in a circle. And then there was like an offering to the sewer goddess where people just you know left gifts in order to have good luck and not get lost in the tunnels. It was it was pretty wild.
It was a good time.
Does it smell?
And the sewers. It definitely can. Sometimes it's it's really nasty. Honestly, Thankfully, I'm like partially nose blind, so I don't mind it as much, but it's it's it's really gross. Like I don't I don't really uh enjoy being in the sewers that much, but I go into the sewers because they're connected to other.
Things, because the hottest parties in Minneapolis are going on down there.
Yes, there's like huge raves that happened down there and stuff like that. It's it's pretty wild.
That's cool, man, that's cool. How often do you go into the sewer raves?
I don't go to the sewer raves that often because I'm I mean, I'm not a huge party person. A lot of the time. I'll go for like a special occasions, but they happen pretty often. Like there's probably one going down during certain terms of the year. Is probably one going down like every weekend.
Dude, I absolutely need to do one of my Gecko interview things at the sewer party. People are gonna think I'm cosplaying as a Ninja turtle.
You should, dude, Honestly, like, if you ever came to the Twin cities. I could probably like set it up where we get internet into a cave and we could generally you could have a show in a cave.
All right, I'm in want. I think I'm going to Minneapolis on my tour next year, so I'm in. I'm in the store party, yeah, I think. So I'm trying to well, what happened last year was I went to Indianapolis, and I thought that that was I thought the Indianapolis and Minneapolis were the same thing because you know they both have Panapolis in it.
You're kindoy for that.
What uh, what do you do now that you're not working, that you're not getting high and looking at fish.
I'm a locksmith, which is kind of ironic because sometimes I go to explore things I have to like trespass, you know, but pick it's not people's homes.
So as a locksmith, do you like, can you theoretically break into anybody's house?
Yeah?
Yeah, I mean I'm not like, I'm not that it's funny. I'm not actually that good at like lock picking, Like it's a really small part of my is like lock manipulation, but like I know the weak points in the lock and could get in within, like probably a minute or less.
M hmm.
Do you foresee a universe where you ever use this skill for evil, like to steal chickens from a coop or something.
I mean, I feel like if it was like life or death, I probably would, but I don't know. I I try to. I try to be a good boy.
You know, where have you broken into?
But I mean, like I wouldn't say I like broken in, but like I've you know, to get into the sewers, you have to like pop a manhole in the middle of the street.
You know.
I've also been inside of like abandoned mills and stuff like that. And there's, like I've sometimes you have to go through like rail yards and stuff like that to get into some of these spots. You know, there's bulls after you. I don't know if you know what bulls are and rail lingo, but yeah, no, just a sometimes you gotta sneak around people to get to the cool spots.
What are bulls?
They're just like the security guards of like rail yards.
You know.
I think the reason they're called bulls is because Hobo's always had to run from them back in the day, you know, when.
They're trying to Now rail lingo. Let me hear some more rail lingo.
I don't.
I'm not as deep into the the train hopping community as I would like to be, so I don't know more rail lingo.
I guess what's your like, Uh, what's your name again? Sabo? You can call Sabo? What's your prerogative? Sabo? What? What do you What do you dream of at night? What's the future look like for Sabo? You can go anywhere you can, and there's literally there is literally no place off limits to you.
Yeah, I mean I don't know. I have Yeah, I have places i'd like to go. I mean there's a there I've heard from like friends about like tunnels in other cities, Like there's some really crazy tunnels in Chicago and stuff like that that'd be cool to check out. I'd also really like to it'd be really really really sick to break into like the but like Chernobyl Exclusion Zone, Ukraine, that would be sick. But obviously there's a war going on in there right now. It's like I can't even
get close to that. But I mean, like, are you asking like as far as like just dreams in general, Like what do I want to do with my life? Kind of do just go. I don't know, I kinda honestly, I hope my life ends up like kind of like simple, Like I'd really like to just like make enough to be comfortable, have a significant other, you know, like have a nice house with a with a big garden and a you know, a deciduous lawn, and just like go to work and not be stressed out. I don't not
I don't really have like big aspirations. I just kind of want to like comfy.
You know. Well, it's good that you have an inexpensive hobby because some people's hobby, as you know, is buying exotic fish.
Yeah.
I mean I still do that sometimes too, but not as much as I used to.
No, I have a question for you before we go. Do you have any safety concerns at all for for urban exploration? Because you know, I, by the way, I myself, I don't do it that much anymore. But I used to, like when I was a kid, I'd be really into, like, you know, exploring abandoned buildings and basements and all that
kind of shit. But I know that that, uh, like you can you can get a little fucked up, whether it's like asbestos is running around, or like a tile breaks off and you fall down three stories or you know you ever run into anything like that.
Oh yeah, no, I actually I almost I almost killed my best friend while we were exploring once because there's this one storm drain that we like to go into and in order to get in, you have to go to the spot that's called Confuser. And the reason it's called Confusers is because there's like seven man holes in close proximity and only one of them has a ladder, but it's like a really visible spot, so you have to like open the right one and getting quick otherwise
it get caught. As we went there and I opened the wrong one, and so my friend like started getting down in you know, was hanging onto the edge with his like arms, and he was like I can't feel the ladder. I cant feel ladder. And I was like, shoot, we gotta like turn on the light and just like figure this out. And you know, there was just like a twelve story drop beneath him, so we had to like pull him out. That wasn't fun. I really I felt really bad for that. So you gotta worry about
stuff like that, you know. And I've also gotten like really sick from the sewers. I was better written for three days because I like basically got dysentery, so that kind of sucked. Yeah, and there's this sebaestos and you know there's hs gas and the sewers which can kill you. And you know if you get cuts and they get in effected, that's not good either. So yeah, it's it's really dangerous. But uh, I don't know, I kind of
like the danger. Maybe I'm a little bit of an adrenaline junkie in that way.
You're like a ninja Turtle.
Yeah, running around series Turtle power.
Yeah. Man, it sounds like you were playing like manhole Russian Roulette pretty much.
Yeah, that's exactly what it was. And I'm really lucky I didn't kill my best friend. I would have done. That would have ruined my life. I think if that had happened.
Well, Sabo, thanks for talking to me about Thanks for you know, you know what is cool about this conversation is God doesn't I don't know if the folks at home can't empathize with this, but God doesn't life feel boring sometimes? You know, don't you feel don't you do you ever feel like you already know all the stuff that exists out in the universe for you to do,
and you're just bored. I'm glad I got to talk to you because any any day where I gain knowledge of a of a new thing that exists out in the universe, such as underground sewer parties, I gather a little bit more of my lust for life. So thanks for sharing all this stuff, Sabo. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Uh, Mouser's got a mouse, turtle power, turtle power, have a canet keake?
Hello?
Hello, Hi, Hi, what's your name? My name is Ben, Ben. What's up? Man?
That's a gecko.
This is gecko.
What's up? Yeah, well you know what's up? Yeah? Well we might speak to That's what I texted you before. Yeah. So I haven't worked in three years and paid by my company insurance because I went in to depression, like a deep fucking depression, and I got like, I I got panic attacks in anxiety a lot about like every fucking thing that exists. So and I got to go back to work in like three weeks.
So you you're insurance your your did you get like panic attacks as a result of your.
Work at the start. Yeah, yeah, back then, Well when I went into the depression three years ago. Yeah yeah, because I worked like for the government and I sell alcohol for the government where I live.
So you sell alcohol for the government.
Yeah. Yeah, it's like.
You're in Montreal correct. Yeah, yeah, that's why you got back. Well that's what's why you got the French thing going on.
Yeah, that's why that's why I was.
I because I saw the I saw the plus one, I saw the Canada area code by you, and then you started talking and I was like, this is a very funny sounding Canadian man, but you're French.
Yeah, I am French. Yeah, it's like it's like like the actual like yo, it's the fun part of Canada.
Now, why did selling alcohol for the government send you into a depression?
I was looking at the COVID and you know, like the love here, like in the restrictions were like I didn't mind them that much, but they were like pretty heavy, and but like everything was closed, but like those the the like the liquor stores that were still open though, because you know, we we were making money for the government and also we're selling like it's a drug, you know,
it's all quality. So and uh so you're gonna stop selling this because people are just gonna sucking break the windows and just go crazy every every every place that where they like the end every place where they did close the liquor stores, they all got rub so anyways, so that's why we kept on working. And like my what my job pretty much changed into like I became
like a bouncer. You know, there's like only ten people could be in the store at the same time, and uh you know, it was that like I used to be like working in a warehouse and now I had to be like upfront with fucking crazy people. One thing, they're all cool and just like being aggressive and you know, like you know, it was a shifty time. So this
was what sent me to depression. And then since I was depressed, like you you know, you would think that you're you're sad when you're the bread, but it's not the main thing. You're more seem like like angry, you know. And so I was angry and I stayed at my place. I wasn't getting out, so and that's when I started
developing panic attects. Because like if you spend like six months in the same room and then a year in the same room, in a year and a half and two years, and I've spent three years I've been in my living room. Uh yeah. So now like things get, things get like it's like the world is shrunk, you know, and everything that's outside of my living room is like it's it's aggressing me.
You know what kinds of things are aggressing you.
Like everything that can be like everything that is like stimulating, like birds chirping or like, you know, it's no it's no. Last week here, like a ship shift on the snow and they had to uh plow it away and like every sound and every you know, like, yeah, I don't know. Everything that I cannot control, everything that I cannot control is aggressing. And I think that's that's that's that's that thing.
Yeah sure, god yeah, yeah, you got into the world. The birds are chirping, there's fucking noises and people talking. It's it's annoying. It's annoying being inside.
Yeah, and my place is like super calm.
So you also you mentioned in the text also that in okay, so, your story as it stands to me is you were working selling alcohol for the government in Canada because they have weird laws.
Uh.
This put you in a position where there was just a bunch of fucking crazy people around you all the time. This drove you kind of insane. And because it drove you insane, you were able to collect a bunch of money on insurance. And with that money, you've been able to stay home for three years. And you mentioned in the text, I believe you said that you haven't left the house in like two or three years. Is that correct?
Yeah? Almost? I like I go out there be once every two or three weeks. Sometimes I go to the corner store to buy some rolling papers, but that's about it. I used to smoke a lot of cigarettes when I first went in to the depression. Like I hadn't smoked for like ten years, and I started smoking again. Of course, you know, because you're on depression, some might as well fucking smoke tobacco. And uh.
Are you would you consider yourself agoraphobic?
Uh? Yeah, okay, yeah. And my doctor, my doctor also spoke to me about having problems with days and spoke I spoke about it with my I've actually been referred to a psychiatrists. I'm going to see one in January. It's going to be like the second time I see one. First time I spent one, you just like told me, like, well, you've got depressions, so take care of your depression and
come back to see me. So I thought it was a bit like rough from this barness park there, but he was he was right, you know, might as well let's take care of one sickness and.
Okay, I saw, I mean if we like, so let's get into it for a little bit. What what Yeah, these these three years that you've just been at home and you haven't been working, do you live alone?
Yeah?
What have you been doing past three years? Man?
I taught myself how to program.
Uh that's okay.
Cool, I think, are you that's that's the only thing. For for the first six months, I did nothing, Like I started on my ceiling and I didn't for for for for after a year and a half. I mean, I couldn't get out of my apartments because I would get like too tired, you know, I couldn't get into my like walk from my kitchen to my living room, and I would be like exhausted just by doing this,
you know, because I was so not doing nothing. So uh this also this also helped into the anxiety and feeling unsafe outside, you know, but yeah, that's mostly what I did for three years. I just like slugged myself on the computer and I didn't get out of my eyes, and I, you know, you know what what I like, I've only just like I've known Twitch, but I've only started watching Twitch for like a month.
So so so Ben, what have you been like are you able to? Like is what have you been programming? What have you been coding? What have you been making with this new skill that you learned.
I couldn't like, you know, I don't like, you know, programming languages, but I couldn't see so I thought myself out of code and see, so it's like pretty level stuff like like you know what I've like, I I had some like little gigs left and right, like on fivers and up work and these kinds of uh stuff where like because because I can do web also, but for like, the thing I like the most is c programming,
you know, because it's low level stuff. So it's like I program like, like it's mostly for my portfolio, like so I can get a job maybe in that area instead of working where I like because I fucking hate my job. Uh so, yeah, yeah, so I've been mostly programming like stuff like you know, memory management stuff and like file systems and mini os operating systems like you know, like like low stuff, low level stuff.
Like just Ben, do you do? You do? You do? You get lonely at all? And just being at your house and not not talking to anyone.
I speak to people like every day, but like only on the on the internet around I am for I am tuckingly.
Well, there there is a problem you have. You have you have like internet friends.
No I got real friends, but no real actually real friends that I do see, but I I speak most of my interactions with them are still on the Internet because it's it's you know, it's mhm, every day living. But they actually live live in Montreal. They live like two streets away for me or so, so we do. I do see people once in the blue Moon, but I mostly speak to them on the But but you still do get lonely though, because it's it's not the same as as that, uh and there there is a
loneliness problem with uh. I don't know North American men for sure, I know there there's yeah, yeah, so.
You you also said in the text that you're going back work on January in person at the liquor store. Fuck, yeah, how do you feel about that?
I'm freaking out.
So here's the thing, though, is so I know you're freaking out, but well, a couple of things, and I'm just like just totally like practical ship is like you've been spending the past three You're you're smart, You're really smart. You spent these past three years not you didn't just sit around and jack off all day. I mean, I'm sure you did a little bit, but you learned, you know you hold on, don't don't tell me what you're about to tell me. Just yeah, hey, got yeah, what were we gonna say?
Well, the thing is that I just want to see something about depression and taking entirely presents, you know, because they took a lot of them. I'm still taking.
Are you about to say that they make your dick not work?
No?
No, no, no no.
At first it's fucking worked, it's works, but you fucking can come like you don't get it again right, Like you just can't get to your right.
So it's very possible that you were just yeah, it's very possible that you were just in the same masturbation session for three years and then eventually you know, you just come a whole bathtub at the end. But but what I was going to say, what I was going to say is you know you were smart, you learned a skill over the past three years. And so you know, my my friend, I wonder, why is it that you are Why have you resigned to yourself to Okay, I now have to go back to this fucking horrible job.
As if as if A as if there's only one job available for you to do in the entire you know, country of Canada, and then b as if you didn't just spend a whole bunch of time learning a new marketable skill, Like why have you put yourself in this box where the only thing for you to do to make money? Now?
Is this?
Is this horrible job that you hate?
I know, I think it's because I like, like it makes it makes when I look at it from the outside, it makes absolute sense for me to see what that fact I should take and like most probably will succeed in, but to actually do it.
Or do it.
Like everything is still uh creating like everything is still creating a lot of anxiety in me. So yeah, yeah, that's the main that's the main, main thing. And uh, I need to take the shipload Exanax just so I don't freak out books at the time, so at least at my government jump, you know, I thnk the Examax out of my head and scam bottles at cash, you know, and after for twenty dollars and just gives the fucking money back. And you know, it's a basic jo.
Let me let me ask Let me ask you another thing. Let me ask you anything through your insurance over the past three years, have you been able to talk to a therapist? You said you spoke to a doctor who.
Told yeah, yeah, yeah, but being a psychologist for four.
Years, tell me, I'm curious. I want I want to know what are some things that the psychologists have just told you.
Ah, well, we spent that ship all the time, and my my childhood, I had uh, you know, threat syndrome.
Tourette syndrome. By the way, a very uh it's almost apt for you because touret sounds like a very French. It sounds like a.
French y head. I was going to get to head, but you know, I said it, and it is just because it sounds so cooler. Oh that's that's the main reason.
So what is your So, what what is your What is your psychologist told you that has been helpful for you?
And it's been helpful, it's I don't know, man, because we've only been exploring, like even my best but like Shan really told me anything that much about like actual daily yeah, like actual.
Yeah, dude, I fucking hate them. No, I know, I know, you mean, I fucking hate that like I've been you know, like I fucking hate in therapy where they're like, tell me about when you were eight years old. I'm like, first of all, I don't remember, and second of all, I'm a hundred whatever. Okay, look, I know I'm not a real therapist. I don't know, I didn't read any of the books or whatever. But I'm like one hundred percent sure that nothing happened to me when I was eight.
That is the reason why I am. You know, I'm addicted to candy or whatever the fuck. But I'm also probably wrong and stupid. But but but no, I understand your frustration about that. So so okay, so nobody knows no psychologists, So no, no psychologists, no doctor. I mean that what about the doctor like, has any has any mental health or physical health professional given you any tips or positive ways forward to deal with the things that you're dealing with.
Yeah, I got a doctor and uh he prescribed me bills. So it's pills in therapy with the psychologists, but that's mainly you know, they say you get access to like psychology resources and all this, but like it's hard to actually get good psychology treatment. I don't know, It's like sometimes you feel like they don't even know what to fucking do with you. So like like like that, like the woman a woman called me this week, like for an interview, like none of the interview, Like there's like
a screening call before the psychiatrist. And she asked me like that bunch of a bunch of questions and like she asked me, what I what I what I'm expecting out of the psychiatrist? You know, like how am I supposed to know what to expect from the psychiatrist?
I mean he's just like, I, I hold on, I think that's a legitimate question. What are you expecting out of a psychiatrist?
Well, I I answered, Well, I just wish I wish is like I just wish. She opens up my head and repairs it. Yeah, that's why I told her. Yeah, but I don't know what what what?
What?
Like just just fucking track me open and fix.
It up, you know, Yeah, but I couldn't.
I know.
It's it's like she answered, But I mean I have no.
I don't think. I don't think that's a answer. I think. I mean, look, people go to school, and the job exists to do that, right. The job exists because people have fucking issues and they got to go to a person to help them with the fucking issues. So uh, okay, and this is the previous intake. So did you go to see the psychiatrist?
No? No, Well I'm going to see them in January most probably or four weeks.
So well, listen, you know, Ben, I you know I'm not a real thing. I'm a fucking douche in a in a in a shitty costume that I've been farting on the phone. But I want to say, I want to reiterate what I was saying to you, and I understand that, like you know, you have a you're just going through this ship that makes it hard to like take action and not like catastrophize everything that's going on. With you in your life. But I really do, like from an outside if it's if it's meaningful to you
at all. From an outsider perspective, I think what you did was really smart. You learned a skill that you could now use to go apply. I'm sure that you have a computer screen with like fifteen different fucking monitors on it that you can do a whole bunch of jobs from. So why don't you go on the internet and find jobs or you know, I know you talked about Fiverr, you talked about upwork. Those are all great things.
I'm sure you made a profile and you did this and you offered whatever services that you can provide with the knowledge that you learned over the past three years. But like, why don't you go within your means of whatever you can do while while navigating whatever is going
on with your mental health right now? Like, see what options out there exist for you in the world before you know succumbing to this this defeat that the only thing that you can ever do with your life ever is get you know, yelled at by drunk French Canadian people.
Yeah, yeah, thanks for your advice, man.
Okay, good do you do you? Does that? Do you feel. How do you feel about everything I just said?
I feel I feel fine?
Yeah yeah, okay, good?
No, thanks man? Thanks? Uh yeah you no bad? Of course it makes sense what you're saying, but I mean it's not something that's like so yeah, it's good to you know when because when you speak when you fail, like when you say things like they make sense as you say them sometimes. So just like just talking with you, like I realize somethings.
So okay, good man, But you don't want.
Though it's the first time I call, and I like, I've no moved for known you for like only two or three weeks, but like I watched your show every time I can, and you're fucking great. You're an inspiration actually, and I want to say, I'm gonna call you back then I'm gonna take you.
Okay, good, I'm down for I'm down for a follow up if you go, if you find another job, let me if you find another job or something happens, Okay, you call me back, let's talk. I want to know if there's an update, okay.
Perfect, man?
All right, Ben? Is the anything else? Okay? Is there anything else you want to say? All right?
All right, just just be careful, you know, good, you know, maybe it doesn't exists.
All right, take care, Ben, thank you?
Right.
I gotta go to Montreal at some point. So wait, the government runs liquor stores. That's kind of interesting. I liked Ben. He was a cool guy. I don't know. I he's smart though, Like I said, he's smart because I've talked to We've talked to like, you know, mildly agoraphobic people on the on the podcast before, and like obviously people in like crazy, like depressive episodes, and you know, look for me when I'm in a crazy depressive episode. I don't learn how to code, I you know, go insane.
I don't do anything productive. But he did something productive with his crazy time. He turned crazy time into crunch time. I was smart, and I hope it pays off for him.
All from Scooby.
Hello, what's up man?
What's up? Ject is?
This is Scooby? Yes, sir, what's going on? Scooby? How can I help you today?
Nothing much, man, I was gonna talk about my experience in foster cure for the past ten years.
Oh wow, how old are you now?
Eighteen?
Oh man? So you got to put there when you're eight?
Uh?
Yeah, go ahead, start wherever you want to start.
All right.
So pretty much, I used to live with my dad and he used to get into arguments and ship with my step mom. Then I think child protective services came in the picture, do like welfare checks. They came up for my dad when he was smoking a joint and then fucking then taking me to my grandparents' crib and they took me to a shelter, and I started going
to group homes and threw out those. That's when I started getting arrested and ship, hanging out with the wrong crowd, got introduced into some fucked up drugs and ship m hm. Moving a long run.
So so they took you away from your parents when you were eight because your dad was smoking a joint or it was a bunch of other stuff.
Yeah, it was mainly because of argument and ship and it wasn't like a household for her child. But the joint really add the cherry on top when they showed up.
So did did you feel that way? Do you feel like it was a bad environment for you?
Not really, But like nowadays, I don't really be talking to my dad because every time I like I see him, it's always like an argument or I end up getting arrested due to him like trying to aggravate me and just trying to uh just fuck me.
So where are you at now?
Stayed up by febo? So I stept rarely had a core order recently, like a month ago. I have to go to rehab for sixty days, so I'm going there on Monday.
All right, Now, you said that you were into like drugs and doing all this other kind of stuff. Is that something you're still into?
Honestly, I stopped all the hardcore shit. I'm just kind of doing like shrooms and like tree recently.
All right, are you gonna go to college?
Uh? Yeah, actually I just gotta get my ged and then the foster care system paid for my college til twenty eight.
Oh really, that's actually pretty cool.
It's dope. They pay for the dormitory, they pay for everything, and they pay me to go to school too.
Wow.
So you don't have to go into any kind of do you don't have to pay a dying I.
Don't have to pay shit, man, it's all free.
Damn. I find there's definitely some seventeen year olds I'm about to call, So there's definitely some seventeen year olds, they're about to listen to this podcast and call social services on their parents.
For sure.
What are you gonna study?
Most likely like computer engineering. But what I really want to do first is get like some trades in like HVAC, electrical, poet, welding. I can get that shit for free too, So if I don't succeed in college, I also have that to fall back on. M M. You just get my certifications?
Are you excited?
Not? Really? Because I have like severe social anxiety. I don't like talking to people like that.
Why do you? Why do you not like talking to people.
Due to like trauma and stuff. Like when I was a kid. When I was like when I was young, maybe ten years old, in a group home, like anytime I'll come out, because it was like predominantly like you know, black kids, staff is black whatever. I was like the only white boy, and the anytime I spoke, it would just be racial towards me, calling me like a cracker all that shit. So I just didn't really, you know, talk to people.
I'm myself. Do you have any friends right now?
Oh? Yeah, I have one good friend of mine that been hanging out with us since middle.
School Okay, do are you are you are you close with them still?
Oh?
Yeah, for sure. We started talking a lot more after our good friend passed away a couple of years ago, and uh so we met up at his funeral and started talking again. We'll get together and then yeah, still talking to this day.
Mm hmmm.
We look out for each other and ship m hm.
Hm hmm. So do you like now are you are you feeling anxiety about like going into a classroom setting and going to you're going to like traditional college, You're gonna go to like a university, whether you'll be in a door.
Yeah. No. So what I'm doing is I live in South Florida. There's a place called Brower College, like a little community college. I'm gonna go there for two years. So that's like my gateway to go to FSU Florida State.
Rad, Dude, Rad, I'm trying to think about anything that well, I mean, let's think. I'll think with you. Is there anything that you think would help you get over your social anxiety?
I really don't know if I haven't really tried anything. Okay, And I think smoking you know, smoking pot doesn't really help you either.
Okay, So that's another thing I was going to say to you, is like, you know, weed affects everyone differently
and like, but here's the thing. Both ends of the spectrum I don't think are good, right because for me and for a lot of other people, when you smoke a bunch of weed, you get in your head and that's the worst position to be socializing from, because you're overthinking everything you're saying, you're ever thinking everything the other person is saying, you're not being yourself, you're paranoid, you're you're shy, or it's just it's just it's just not good.
But even if you were to tell me that, But if you were to tell me the opposite, even if you were to tell me that we made you feel more sociable and loose and whatever, that would still be bad because then you would, you know, develop some kind of system where like, oh, I have to get high in order to talk to people, and that's not good either.
So yeah, you know, I I've noticed that when I'll do like mushrooms and shit, like it helps me like not fear weird, like it makes me I don't know, it makes me happy and joyful, like I can actually talk.
To a little copy word about them judging me, and.
Shit, how often are you doing mushrooms?
I microdose like once every two or three days. So I'm just getting back, you know, into the hang of that shit. So not so I'll do it.
M hm hm.
So I assume you've been going to well, you're gonna get a rehab for sixty days. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna go there for sixty days starting Mondays, so I'll be out in March.
All right. Cool, How are you feeling about that?
Feeling kind of good? I mean I told my friends and shit that I talked to you. Still, I'm about to do my plan is and I told them when I get out, I'm planning on being sober. Hopefully I'm not addicted to vapes no more. And I don't, you know, smoke me no more. Cool, I don't know, live the sober life.
Cool man. Well, I good on you. You see, you have a really great perspective of all these things. It sounds like you didn't have like the best positions growing up, but you're making a lot of it for sure.
Yeah.
See, Child protect the Services really fucked up my childhood, but I made the best of it.
Child Protector Services fuck up your childhood.
Yeah, that's when they are you.
Are you more mad at them than at your parents?
Uh? Yeah, I mean, no kid wants to Even though I had a shitty a household, I didn't want to get taken away from my dad because still that that is my father, that's my blood. I don't want to, like, you know, be raised without him. But yeah, no, I didn't live with my family. I was only got to visit them once every week, every two weeks if I'm lucky, for like an hour for visitation. And I was Yeah, so I was eight.
You told me this already, but I was thinking about something else. What are you studying.
Computer engineering? And for my age back electrical AC and plumbing.
That's sick. That's some good that I like that. I like anything where you go to school, Like, if someone's gonna pay for you to go to school, dude, please, dear God, do something real. Oh yeah, can do something real. And I'm not saying and I've talked about this on the fucking on here a billion times, I'm not saying that the arts is not real, but like, yeah, but like it's going to college, paying a bunch, going to
college for it is super not real. You know, like, if you're gonna spend all the time and money and effort to go to college, you know, get it in something that you have to go to college for. So yeah, good on you.
Oh yeah. And they also also cover like apartments, Like they pay half the rent. So I'll say, like, if it's like thirteen hundred, I'll pay like four hundred for rent.
Well how do they? What's the whole deal is the foster system? Is that like a public tax funded thing?
I think so? I mean I don't really know. I know they give you benefits for you know, putting to a whole bunch of bullshit through childhood. You're eighteen. That's like the way of saying, hey, hey, we're sorry, here's a uh, here's your own crib. You get to go to school for free if you really want to, you know, all these free services and shit. I mean, I don't know. And and even if you don't go to school, they give you like almost a fifteen hundred a month just
because you were in foster care all those years. It's crazy.
That's great, that's great man. Well you know, what's your name again? Hold on, don't tell me, I'm gonna remember it. Fuck what's your name again, Scooby? Scooby, Okay, I feel like I should have remembered that. Where'd you get the name from?
I liked watching Scooby Doo growing up, and I was like, my discord name and my fucking all my online games growing up?
Is your friend named shag.
I had a friend named Shaggy?
Yeah?
He changed his using in to that for call Booty means and ship.
You're h I think I'm not worried about you, Scooby. I think I think you're gonna do well. You gotta get ahead on your shoulders, keep keep doing what you're doing and trying to stay sober and trying to, you know, live life well for sure? Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I hope all y'all have a good day or good night.
Leak will ghek bless you.
Man, have a good day.
Take care man ah man. I liked Scooby. I was thinking when we were on the phone. I was like, am I and I'm too. I'm too I'm too deep in the game for these questions, or maybe I'm not. I don't know, but I'm talking to Scooby and I'm like, am I is it bad that I'm I just tend to be a therapist, that I were doing fake therapy stuff, And I think about it, but I liked I liked talking to Scooby. That was an engaging conversation. It felt helpful for everyone involved. You know, I I, I know
I enjoyed that fake therapy session. So whatever, I'll keep doing fake therapy until you know, something really bad happens. All right, thank you for calling. Scooby goes on the line, thinking your phone calls every night ever, goes to what and ide he's teaching
You aloud in the memory line, but he's not really an expert.