“I NEGLECTED MY LIFE FOR MY MUSICAL”

All from Connor?

Hello?

Hello?

Is this what I say is echo?

Guy?

Yes?

This is who you think it is. It's the guy you're doing buddy? How you doing?

Man? I'm doing all right. How are you?

I'm okay, I'm I am. You know, I don't know man A lot. So life is a series of uh you you you keep going to you wake up and you do things and then you go to bed.

Right, I hear that.

You hear that, but I know you know enough waxing whatever? What's up with you? Man? What's going on? What's your name?

First of all, my name is Connor.

I'm I'm just sitting here in the BUCkies parking lot. I pulled over because you called and I recognize the area code.

Oh fuck? What did you get at BUCkies?

I was gonna get gas, but then I saw you collin, So I've postponed that for a minute.

Hopefully my car doesn't run out. I've been sitting here.

What is the car on?

Yes?

Well, well, well, how bunch gas is left in it? Right now?

I have forty nine miles, so we've got a time frame here. I'm not turning my air conditioning on.

Wait are you driving right now?

No? No, no, no, no, I'm sitting there. I'm sitting in BUCkies.

Oh okay, So why would the car why would it run out of Why would either you or the BUCkies run out of gas?

I don't know. I'm real scattered right right now, I'll be honest.

That's all right, man, did you get any beaver nuggets? Do you know what a beaver nugget is? The beaver nuggets?

I do know what a beaver nugget is. I'm uh, the food is tempting because I'm really hungry, but I'm sitting here with my buddy. We're going to get dinner after this. Oh I'm going to try and keep myne I've postponed the dinner to talk to you.

If your friend is in the car with you, he is.

He just took a picture of me talking to you because he knows you too.

Oh okay. I was going to ask if it was kind of pissed off that you just like you were like, Hey, I gotta talk to this gecko guy from the internet. Let me just ruin our lie, let me just postpone our life real quick.

Yeah. No, he's he's as excited as I am.

Okay, that's good. All right. This is good because I want to talk to both of you. I don't want to talk to both of you at once. I want to actually, I want to experiment with something. I want to have a full, complete conversation with you and then talk to your friend. Is that okay? Is that cool?

Or is that okay? All?

I heard Sean go oh yeah in the distance, and so it sounds like Sean's game. So I don't. I don't feel bad anymore than I'm ruining day. Okay, Well, Connor, you texted me and you said I just finished directing a musical that I had been planning for a year and a half and I don't think I'm ready to let go. Is that is that accurate?

Yeah?

Pretty accurate. We we had our final show yesterday. It was Little Shop of Horrors, and uh, I don't know, man Like, I feel like I don't know what to what to do with myself at this point.

I've been.

You know, some of my best friends in my life that I have right now, I met after finding out that I was going to direct this show. So it feels like the whole lifetime has passed and I've gone through. I feel like I'm just trauma dumping right now. But I guess that's kind of what the show's for. I've gone through all kinds of crazy, not crazy things, because the stuff that everyone goes through, but like I've dealt with some hard stuff in the time of me planning

Shift suddenly having time because.

I work right next to the theater that I've been directing at, so I don't.

Really have.

A good excuse for the thirty minute drive home between work and the rehearsals.

So for like two or three months now.

As we've been actually rehearsing for the show, I've been away from the house for pretty much seventeen hours a day, just you know, working and then working on this passion project. And I don't know, I'm excited.

To be able to focus on the other aspects of my life.

There's definitely stuff that's fallen by the wayside in the mania of directing.

But yeah, I just I'm kind of waiting for the post show depression to hit me. You know.

Interesting, it sounds like it already has a little bit.

Oh, it hit me hard last night.

We went to a little kind of like bar and grill place afterwards, and I like, the guy that played the main character is like one of my best friends in the world, and I like, I sobbed into his shoulder for like ten minutes. But yeah, I.

Don't know if I really need advice or anything.

I kind of do kind of No, no, no, I don't. I don't take that at all. I know what you mean. I mean, if you've been out of your house for seventeen hours working on the same thing for a year, then once it's gone, yeah totally, you're gonna be like, what the fuck? I mean? That's happened to me a

Mainly work? I mean, my job is kind of kind of fucking me right now. So now that I've not had to be thinking about coordinating with twenty people on making some big, playing pretend project, I've been really irritable with work.

How has work been fucking you?

Well, pretty much. I was actually just my buddy Sean about this. I'm a construction worker and I install shelves, bathroom accessories and doorknobs and new construction. And the way that I'm typically paid is I'll have a base pay for the week, but everything I install has a dollar amount of sign to it. So if I pass the base pay and that total amount that I've installed, I get paid that instead. I've come to find out recently that Shun's chucklin' right now because he can see how

And business is very slow right now.

So this amounted to me making two hundred and seventy two bucks.

For four nine hour days of a physical labor job last week because I took off a single day of work.

Really like like just contractually, you got fucked.

I got contractually thought, Yeah, that's insane, man.

Yeah.

And I had no idea that that that that was how taking off a day would affect me until now.

And I've been working at this company for almost a year.

You're a You're an interesting combination. I would not expect construction worker slash theater director. That's an that's an interesting combination.

I've been doing theater stuff for a lot longer, and my my mo for finding a job was always like, if it's something that leaves me room in the evenings for theater, that's what I want to do. All I need to do is show up and make money, leave and then have my evening to do the stuff that I give a shit about but and that this job was that for a while, but now I'm getting in tractionally fucked, as you put it.

So I'm pretty frustrated.

So like, where are you directing these like musicals at? Like, are you you're not in college still, are you? Are you? Is it like a community theater thing?

No?

No, No, it's it's a local community theater thing.

Yeah, cool man, that's that's awesome. And you've been doing that since like pretty much your whole life.

Well, I started acting about four years ago, and this is my first time directing, or it was.

And so about the whole I guess ego death thing of like having time to think, which is a very real phenomenon. Are you planning another directing about soon?

I'm not super soon. I was.

I was asked to come back and direct in about two years at the same theater because the whole next theatrical season is uh is booked out because they do it for like months and months and months in advance. But uh, the little shop got enough, UH got enough recognition from around that they asked me back.

So I'm I'm pretty excited about that.

Wow, two years it'll be Yeah, that's so that's like that. It feels like it's like it's not even like a comprehendible amount of time.

No, but like I've had that thought. But then I think about the fact that I planned Little Shop for a year and a half and it just flew by, So like, I have confidence that this show will.

Get here a lot quicker in my brain than it actually is, but it's it's.

Still a long time, and I'll be acting between now and then, of course, But.

I don't know. I think part of what I meant by let go in my original text is it's.

Going to be really hard to go from being like the director over a show to now having to be the one taking direction again, I guess, And that sounds egotistical, I know, but it'll it'll be a weird shift, I think.

So.

So, now that you're not doing this anymore and that you're like, Okay, I'm going to come back in two years, are you like the time that you were spending directing the musical, have you like filled that with anything else.

I've got a few shows lined up that I'm planning on auditioning for to perform in because that's my first love. I think if it was between directing and performing. I would much rather be a performer, but directing scratches a whole different itch.

You know, what are you trying to audition for?

We're doing Bonnie and Clyde soon. I'm doing a Christmas follow the Christmas Extravaganza. It's like a variety show. I'm doing that this December, and then there's a few after that. I know SpongeBob is a big one that I want to go for.

Bro I want to see SpongeBob. I want to see the play. I haven't seen it. I want to go on Broadway to see SpongeBob. I think that'd be sick. Who are you going to go out for? Are you going out? Are you going out for SpongeBob?

I want Plankton more than any role I've ever wonted, because I mean, you hear my voice, right.

I hear it?

Yeah? I would.

I think you're I was thinking you, but I to be uh, I was thinking you would go out for squid word.

I that is a very close second. But this voice that you're hearing is coming out of a five to six insanely skinny frame. So me playing Plankton would be fucking perfect.

If you ask me, and but is this another like local theater production.

Yeah, it's it's the same theater.

Same theater. Okay, so the same theater is like in the next when and then when is when are they doing SpongeBob? Is that in like fucking five years?

SpongeBob? Is this coming summer?

Okay? Okay, so they haven't even casted it yet?

No, no, no, Were you a theater.

Kid in high school? Like like now? And I know, I know you like you? You Well, how how old are you? I'm twenty twenty okay, So so yeah, so you started four years ago, so you would have been in in high school when you were doing it. Were you like a theater kid type of guy? Because you don't strike me as like a theatery guy in your demeanor.

The I mean, I'm flamboyant as fuck, don't get me wrong. But the community that we've got around here, there's not a whole lot of the like when you think theater kid, I don't think you typically think of the kind of people that we have hanging around. Because can I go on a tangent? Because I love theater and I need everyone to hear about it. Community theater is so beautiful to me because.

Unlike the like higher levels.

Or higher quote unquote levels of like theater where you're getting paid to do it and whatnot. Instead of like everyone there being like an actor and.

That's like their thing, you have like.

Fifty people sometimes showing up and like doing this beautiful performing art from.

All different walks of life.

Like I've been in shows with pops, I've been in shows with doctors. It well, like just people I would never interact with in any other setting and we all come together to perform and.

Show our passion to an audience.

And it's it's such a special thing. It's really really important to me. But all that is to say, we we don't really get a lot of the typical like tiktokie theater kids in the in the community. And I'm glad that that bullet missed me.

And I know I said I was going to talk to you guys separately, But what about your boy? Is he is he a theater guy as well?

He is? That's how we met.

Mm hmm, Okay, I'm ready to talk to him if he's.

Down to talk you down to Sean. There you go, Hello, what.

Hey, are are you sure you guys are cool with this, Like, you don't you're not like you don't have like a reservation or something.

Oh no, we don't have a reservation. We were just going out to dinner.

Are you also twenty?

I'm not.

I just turned eighteen?

Oh, rock and roll? What are you going to do now that you're Now that you're eighteen?

I mean, the plan right now is to just get finished with high school and then I I've been applying to colleges and everything, and I just got my acceptance letter to a college called the University of South Alabama, and I'm very excited to be able to go. It's really what I want to do is to go to college and get my bachelor's in nursing so I can get my postgrad degree and be a nurse nethicist.

Cool. Man, that's awesome. Yeah, that's like such a I don't know, man, that's like a it's a very like that's a real life, that's a real job, you know what I mean. Like, that's uh, that's very admirable.

It's it's scary thought overall, just the fact that I'm like, I'm not a kid anymore. I've never felt like I've been like the quintessential like teenager archetype or anything. But it's weird that I'm like, I'm an actual, like legally I am an adult now, and it's it's kind of stressing me out. I have to be honest, going like man all that.

Yeah, what I like, Sorry, yeah, go ahead, all right.

It's just I'm moving away from home for the first time, and it's just I don't know exactly how I'm going to pay for everything because I'm not I'm not like so smart that I can get the best scholarships and everything, and it's just it's very expensive to go to college for how long I want to, and I just I don't know if it's gonna be working out or not.

Mm hmm. But yeah, you know, you're It's not like if you told me you were going into debt to get a theater degree, I'd be like, I don't know about that, but you're going for like a real fucking thing to be like a nurse.

It's I've one for the longest time to do something in the medical field because my great grandfather passed away years ago from a heart disease and it runs in my family and everything, and I just I just want to do something to help others who are like afflicted with any kind of diseases or illnesses, and anesthesia specifically is what it helps people where they go into surgery, it keeps them passed out and everything.

And I just.

Feel like that's a job that's very underappreciated, and I'd love to be able to help people by assisting them in that way.

You're a very wholesome guy.

Man. Thank you.

When you said you didn't get to live the teenager life, what does that mean?

I mean, I feel like a lot of the time teenagers are kind of like in like media and like the news and everything, it's always teenagers are out causing a ruckus or going to parties and that kind of stuff and hang out with their friends every other day.

And I try.

To be with my friends as much as possible, but it always feels like sometimes it just doesn't work out, and I'm always I spent a lot of time just alone at my house more than anything else, and it just it doesn't feel like what I thought it would. I guess if that makes any sense.

Yeah, that makes total sense.

I have.

I mean, like, were you sitting in your house being like I wish I was causing a ruckus or were you sitting in your house like all right, this is this is fine.

I was sitting in my house just relaxing. I wasn't very stressed out about like not being like a hair society or anything.

Not a terror of society, but you know, like, uh, some people get stressed out of it right about like that they're not living whatever life they think they should be.

Yeah, that's one of my biggest fears. I feel like that goes back to going to college and for four years to get one degree, to go again for three you can get another degree. It's just that's a lot of time of my life that I'm going to be losing out on. And I don't know if that's like like I really want to go, but it's almost that's seven years of my life is gonna be taken up before I even get a chance to get the job. I want to get it, and that's just I really

But I don't know the way that you're talking about it is very passionate because you're not over here like, well my parents want me to do it, or well I think I'll make money or this and that. The other thing, the way you're talking about it is like, this is something I really want to do, you know, So I think that taking a shot on something that you really want to do is a good idea. Well, I mean, what the fuck else would you do?

That's a good point.

Yeah, right, well so right, because you're like, oh, oh, I would waste all my time getting into medicine. But I like what I you know, do you You're not over here like I want to go around destroying mailboxes that I didn't get to destroy when I was in high school. You know, like, do you I I do you even fantasize about what else you would you would do with your life if not this.

I mean, if not anesthesia in any kind of way, I would. I've been learning more and more about myself that I enjoy music as a hobby and I'd love to be able to do something with that. You know, it's just like a side hustle in the future. I just I really enjoy listening and writing and playing and all that stuff. I love learning about the instruments. It fascinates me in a way that not much else does.

Well, look at your boy, man, he's fucking holding down his construction job and still makes time to do what he loves in the musical world.

That's true.

He's actually I've thought for the past couple of years that he's more like a brother to me than just a friend. Like he's been like an older brother I never actually had. And not to be all like sappy or anything call it, but like, I really do look up to him as a person.

I think he's great.

He recently, like got he started a band recently, and I'm so proud of them. It's beautiful to see it all come together, and it just makes me really happy. And seeing him able to do that really helped me like realized that I did like music a lot, as well as anesthesia stuff along those lines.

That's so nice, man, you know, that's fucking cool. That's fucking cool. I wish I had friends like you in high school, you know, who were who were wholesome and nice. My friends were kind of assholes, but that's because I was also an asshole. But uh hmmm, that's nice, man, that's really nice. Yeah, I mean your boys doing it. I'm inspired. I'm inspired by your boy. I mean the fact that he's fucking holding down these seventeen hour days

I I agree.

That's Actually that's really good sentiment to have.

Mm hmm.

And uh yeah, it sounds like you really wanted to.

This.

Uh go for it in in medicine, but you can also make music on the side. Have time to hang out with your boys, especially while you're young man, because I don't know you are you? You seem like you're a family. Man, you seem like you want to make an offspring have a wife and a fence and ship. That seems like you're m o am I wrong.

Uh, maybe I have fully decided on everything I'd like to in the future be able to have that kind of vibe where I can come home and be happy and everything and you know all that, like the quintessential.

Stuff I get.

Not that I'm like the kind of uh you like the uh Uculear family kind of dynamics. That's not really what I'm looking for. But I do love the idea of having somebody to come back to, you know what I mean?

Oh, what state of you guys in right now?

We're in Alabama.

You're in Alabama. I love this, man. I love I love just being able to fucking like like fly on the wall in uh in the car of a and I love I love being able to be a lie on the wall of a parked car at a BUCkies in Alabama with two just a wholesome like you know, like homies. This is an interesting It's an interesting experience. Hm hmm, is am I on speakerphone? But right now, okay, let me talk to Conna. Yeah, let me. I'll talk to Connor real quick.

All right, you're on speaker now.

Oh shit, all right, I can all right, I got both the boys, you do, yep? So what's the what's the plan after this? I'm glad you got I'm glad I got to talk to you guys. I'm glad I got this little slice of slice of cake into your life.

We're actually meeting up with another friend at a really great like Hawaiian.

Ball plays called Poke.

Oh mm hmm. That's good ship.

I'm pretty I've been thinking about it all day.

That's good ship. That's good ship. Hmmm. Uh. Connor, what's your what's uh? What's your dream in life? I feel like I feel like I got I feel like I got deeper into it with Shane than I did with Connor. Shane or Sean Sean. I feel like I got deeper into it with Sean than I did with Connor. I gotta I gotta even it out now.

You're fine. I mean, really, I would be this.

This is probably a stupid thing to say at twenty, but I'd be perfectly content to live out the rest of my life as as I am right now, just working some job to pay the bills and then doing my creative stuff, uh, with whatever time's left over. I mean, obviously, sorry, there's a car getting broken into and BUCkies not actually broken into, the.

Alunch, just going off.

But obviously the dream would be for theater to just kind of take over and start making me money.

But I'd also love if the band, uh if the band kind of took off and we we got to live that last style because we're we're having a really good time with it right now.

We played our first show for a for a cancer fundraiser about a month back.

Man, this is this is this might be. This is like low key one of the most wholesome conversations I think I've had on this show recently. I don't, I feel like I don't. I don't. I don't have the right words for it. But yeah, I like you guys. You guys are cool.

Thank you. I appreciate what you do.

Man, mm hm, did you get gas yet?

No, I'm sitting at forty three miles till I'm empty, So we're doing okay.

Wait what was it at the beginning of this call?

I think forty nine ish?

Wait, what the fuck?

I've drive an old car?

Man, there's I I've been so focused on the show that I haven't even given myself the time to get anything checked out on this thing. What goodness knows is there's a lot of shit wrong with my old ship.

But wait, I don't know anything. I don't know anything about cars. But if you guys are parked and the car is off, how is it losing gas?

It's it's not off. We've got the we've got the ac running.

Oh okay, all right, all right, that makes sense, But still, like does it? Why does it need gas to stay still?

You know, I've had that question for a while. That's a great question. I don't I'm not going to pretend to know the answer for it. For you.

Yeah, all right, fuck medical school, fun construction. You guys should go to school to figure out the answer to that question and then report back.

We'll get back to you, yo.

I appreciate you guys taking time out of your out of your day to chat with me. I'm gonna let you guys get back to your pok bowl. Is there is there anything that either of you you you boys want to say to the people of the computer before we go.

Do you mind if I shout out my band We've got Instagram.

Yeah, yeah, please here, I'm much, I'm.

A little.

It's pair a pair of vel It's just the castle from Nardia.

Care are c A I R space E A R.

A B E L.

Space?

Is there there's a space?

You mean like?

Is it an underscore or a space?

I think? Hold on, I gotta pull it up again. It's been a second since I looked at it.

Care, Uh, it's the it's the castle from what.

Okay?

Sorry, I just I gave you the name of the band and not the name of the Instagram. Oh yeah, no spaces C A I R E A R A V E L the band.

Caravelle. Okay, Caravelle the band. Okay, I definitely fucked this up. Wait, what's the name of the what's the castle named after?

It's named after the Castle from Narnia.

Okay, I'm just going to start the Castle from Narnia. Okay, what's the new?

Okay?

Okay, care pair of Okay?

There we go? Is it is?

Okay? So instagram dot com slash but with a instead of a P. Okay, are you a big Narnia?

It's the reason that we named it after that was I actually acted in Uh, the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Tell me you're as Tell me your ass was as loon, dude, tell me your ass was as loon.

I was as fuck.

Yeah, that's awesome, but.

That show was actually the first time that all four band members were in the same place.

I give you guys a follow care paravel the band. If you all, if you're listening to this and you all follow this guy, but you also don't know how to spell that ship, you just google.

The uh.

The castle from Narnia?

Look? Is this all?

Is this all four? Is this the band? Uh? These these you? You two, and then these three people.

Sean isn't in the band, but I'm the number one fan. He is the number one fan.

Hell uh, you guys already got a groupie.

We do. He's he's been day one. You gets sent all the demos we make so excited every time. And now I gotta post something.

Well, you already have picture. You have a picture. Look at you have a picture of yourself eating a fucking sheet cake or something. You already got stuff. This is this is good. Who needs music? Just keep posting photos of random ship. We're all gonna die.

We'll turn it into a food block.

Now, you guys are cool.

Man.

I appreciate you guys talking to me. You guys. Uh, you guys have a good rest of your rest of your lives.

All right, Well, thank you man.

Hey, take care guys, by bye bye. That was really nice. I'm in a really chill mood right now. Uh. Sometimes you just we just come on here. We just have really chill ass conversations. I don't know. Yeah, sometimes we'll get into crazy shit. B other times we'll just have just a chill conversation. Well, just I like this. One of the things I like about doing this is you just we just get to meet you and me, the listeners. We get to meet just a wholesome dude in the

How from I'm returning in this school?

Hello?

Hi, this is Alan.

What's up Ascelin? How you doing? How's life?

I'm doing good? May I ask what you called?

Oh?

This is the Gecko guy.

Oh hi, nice to talk to you.

Wait wait am I on.

The Gecko right now?

Yeah? Yeah, you're on the Gecko show? That Wait?

Is that?

Is that cool? Do you have do you have time? I'm gonna just to give some context. I sometimes like, all I'll give you some context. Like sometimes I live stream myself doing this, and other times I'm just like you, like, all right, So while I'm live, people like text me ship and then sometimes I'm like, you know what, instead of going live and having new people call me, let

Oh yeah, no, oh I got time. Oh yeah, I got time?

You got time? Okay. It's weirdly worked it's weirdly been working people there. People are massively unemployed across the planet Earth, which is good for me because it means they have time to talk on my podcast.

I'm not unemployed. I actually have three jobs, but I got time.

How do you?

Uh, how do you have three jobs but time to talk to a get go? I'm glad. I appreciate you fitting me in your schedule.

Yeah, okay, that's not why I wanted to talk to you. I have three jobs just because I'm going through a lot right now and you gotta kind of like work a lot just to I don't know, to get your mind off shit. Dude, but that's so crazy.

I know what you mean.

I know what you mean.

Perfect time. I just got home.

Dude.

Do you know what Hawaiian bros Is? I don't know what state you're in, but do you know Hawaiian bro's in your state?

Hawaiian Bros? Yes, No, it's funny. I just talked to uh to Hawaiian bros that were wrong their way to a Hawaiian restaurant? Is it?

Uh?

Wait, it's Hawaiian Bros. Is that a fucking hold on Hawaiian Bros?

Oh?

Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, I think I've seen Hawaiian Bros Before.

Yeah, dude, they in my state. They have this stain running where you can get two plates and it comes out to like thirty dollars, but you get you don't have to pay for one of them. It's like buy one, get one three. I just got four trays for like thirty dollars. I'm not even gonna eat any of this. I'm not to go hand it out to some homeless people probably, but yeah, I got I got a lot of food.

Oh that's nice. No, I I Google image searched Hawaiian Bros. This looks fucking amazing.

Oh my god, it is. It's just chicken. You could just make it at home. It's just chicken with karaoke stuff on it. But yeah, no, okay, wait, I need your advice on something. I don't know if you saw my text, but yeah, I text you like I think it was like a year two years ago, and then I texted you the other day because that same issue kind of popped up.

I can try my best to give it. I could try my best to give advice on on whatever's going on.

Well, see, I think it's fucking hilarious. It's gonna sound sad, it's funny.

Just know that.

So basically, my ex shot himself in the head like two years ago.

He's dead.

Anyways, I'm over that. Whatever time goes on, you know, I've uh wait wait.

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait I listen, here's Ash. I really your Ash is your name? Yeah, I really. I want to trust you because you're a guest on my show. I want to trust you that this is somehow funny.

But so okay, maybe it's not funny, but I think it's I think it's funny. Basically, I, you know, went on some like spiritual paths and I went to isolated for two years. I started working a fuck ton started doing sales job. Well, actually no, I didn't do anything for like almost two years. But recently, these past couple months this year, I've been just like working, working, working, working, working, focusing on myself, trying to do better. Da da da. Anyways,

Oh okay, so let me wrangle this all in. You texted me saying the guy I'm dating looks like my ex? So are you dating this smoke shop guy?

Not anymore? Kind, It's complicated. We're gonna talk on Friday.

Okay.

I just had to like push all that shit off to the side for now because that was like too much for me to fucking amble.

But like, okay, okay, I thought you were okay, you met you started dating guy who looks like your ex boyfriend. I thought this was leading up to it somehow being funny that your ex shot himself.

No, no, that's not funny.

Okay, yeah I didn't.

I didn't.

I didn't think that was funny either. But I was like, you know what, the world, this world surprises me every day. I'm going to relinquish my faith to you. I guess that's all. Well, it makes sense. I mean, I assume you dated this guy because he was, uh, you found him. He was your type in some way, shape or for him. So it makes sense that you would be attracted to a guy who looks like a guy that you were attracted to before.

Yeah, I mean yeah, he was like I see, I didn't even think that. Here's the thing.

I didn't.

I just kind of like walked in there. He went a house in News. He's like, oh, dude, here's my flyer. Name's actually I don't need to give out his names anyways. That's the that's that. And then we were like talking and then we start to like I don't know, maybe like two or three weeks, we kind of like told each other like yeah, I like you whatever, whatever, whatever you know, And then he brought that up. Actually, then I kind of like he he thought that because I

And it's weird.

Interesting. Why so what are you guys talking about on Friday? Whise? Is it not going well?

Or is it?

Or is it like a good talk? Is it like a wed let's be exclusive talk?

Oh no, we already had that talk. I kind of like broke up. I don't know if he's weird. So like on top of all that, like not to like, I don't know, it's not my place to talk about my relationship issues on live TV.

But you know, I'm not.

I guess I don't know. I didn't date for two years. I wasn't really I wouldn't say I'm not, like, well now I know I'm not ready for a relationship, and I just kind of like we're we took a break.

We're on a break right now to make it all right?

So what's the is the talk? Is it like let's get back together talk or like a here's where we're at talk?

Probably a here's where we're at. I'm just gonna tell him, like, sorry, I kind of like slipped out there.

You know, my bad?

Uh, okay, probably don't want to date you, but like, and that's not the point.

I'm not.

I don't know. I'm not even like worried about the talk. But it's like, I don't know, do you ever meet people? I guess it's I feel like, okay, I don't want to sound crazy.

I feel like the world okay to sound crazy that what you said, the world is testing you.

I feel like it because it's like I don't know, there's a lot of I don't know obviously my so my ex, Like I don't know, I don't know. It's like I feel like there's a lot of parallels.

I guess there's a lot of between your ex and this boy. Yes, oh my god, they have do they have similar personalities?

So here's the part that's the So my ex was kind of like a I don't want to say, a shitty person. He was just not mentally okay. So he convinced me that he was like this bad and the other would tell me all these things and then go and tell his friends like something else completely, and then I found out all of these lives after he died.

It ooh, which is like, it's interesting, Yeah, it's interesting. It's interesting. I haven't told I mean, I'm I'm I'm I'm so sorry that uh that all of that that that happened with your ex boyfriend minutes. That's a horrible, uh way for that to have ended. It's interesting that you're yeah, I guess meeting someone who is uh yeah, I guess the person that you thought your ex was. But you're not. But you're not. You don't want to

Want I'm oh, oh, I'm so glad you asked so for two years. So this happened on like twenty twenty two. No, it happened in twenty twenty three.

Yeah.

So for the past like two years, I was, Oh, I wasn't doing shit, Like I sound like a fucking loser. I wasn't doing anything. I was just like couch popping. I was like living with other people. I lived at this like I don't know, just it was just bad. Like I didn't I couldn't keep a job, I couldn't really do anything. I was making like I was hustling though, like I don't want to sound like I was just

Uh, oh great, Yeah, they gave you a thing.

That said I was a Blue Ribbon higher, So I'm gonna be on a track to the stupid money.

How How old how old are you?

Ash?

I just turned twenty one?

Oh you did? Okayh yeah you know what Ash? Uh, Yeah, you've been through some fucking shit.

Man.

That's some that's some fucking ship. I mean, that's that's uh, that's a lot. I'm happy for you, Ash, Honestly, you seem like you. You seem like, Look, you got your own apartment, You're getting your money up. You know, you went through some crazy shit. You're meeting crazy guys. This sounds like this is a nice time for you to develop your own life. You know, you have your you have four plates of dude. This chicken looks fucking awesome. You have four plates of Hawaiian brothers chicken. Are you

Thing.

I suppose. Hmm, Well, I'm glad. I I don't know if this phone I was this phone call uh helpful for you in any way, shape or form. I advice. I don't know if I can give you advice. Yeah, no, you did.

I just kind of wanted to ear that out and that was awesome, dude, Thanks for calling. It's yeah, I don't know. I just want to say to you really quick. I've been watching a lot of your videos recently and I you're fucking awesome, dude, Like you're so fucking funny.

Oh thank you Ash, thank you Ash. Oh good. I'm glad you said funny. I feel like I'm I feel like I've gotten so serious over the over the years. I don't know life is.

That's why you're funny. Somebody will be like, just drop some shit in you and you're like, yeah, well this is what I think. I don't know.

You're I appreciate you, man, I appreciate you. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go, No.

To anyone watching this, go drink some water.

Thank you, Ash, you have a good one.

Okay, bye?

That was Ash. Fuck this, Hawaiian Brothers said, like, go on Google images and search up Hawaiian brothers.

It is.

It's just chicken. But I love places like that, like uh shitty Chinese food places and just places where you just go and they just put a bunch of or like or like there's a kariaki chicken place by my house. Maybe I'll go there tonight, eat some chicken, put or put some rice in there, some vegetables. Yes, fuck man, that's all A guy needs. That's all anyone needs. You don't need a fulfilling relationship or career. You don't need friends,

Wow.

You're you're you're traveling on trains and you're what am I am I doing? Hold on, I got I gotta look at I can't even remember any of this ship you're travel I'm looking at my own part. You're traveling on trains, and you're ah going a strong woman competitions, and you're uh inheriting your dad's business in Vietnam or wherever it was. You guys, remember that sometimes you're doing crazy shit. But then you know, but that's not all

Okay.

Therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com. By the way, if you want to to have me read your email, you can send an email to therapy geckomail at gmail dot com. If you if you sent me an email at one point, send send me one again. Maybe I'll I need any more emails to read. I'm addicted to reading email. This is from Sianna. Subject line. I'm dropping out of law school to work at REI. Hey gek, I don't care about remaining anonymous. My name is Sianna and I am a twenty two year old soon to

Bro.

I don't know if it's capitalism or what it is, but like you, I think in society we are not encouraged enough to like take a step back and be like, wait, why am I actually doing any of the things that I'm doing. It's an important thing. You only get one life, you know, you might as well you might as well try if you have the ability to you might as well try to do things that you uh, that you like. And it's cool, especially because, yeah, I guess you can.

You know?

Who do I think I am? To enjoy my existence on this planet? And you know, I think it's a stupid way to live. So I'm glad that you're living in the opposite and doing what makes you happy. It's cool. Sienna, I have a Sienna.

This is.

This is from Eric. Subject line is OI, hey gek. I hope you're doing good. For a while, you seem to be doing a lot better, but lately you seem down. Oh no, maybe it's just a phase. But try to remember all the little things to be grateful for and stay positive. We love you, Thank you, Eric, You're very very sweet. My name is Eric. I'm a twenty four year old that struggled with substance abuse and found my

Bro.

Yeah, this guy's ripped. I'm not surprised this guy is, so you know, it's can I be like super honest on here. I'm like, I Eric, I like, I appreciate you saying these nice things about me, but like you, I just I'm just looking at your I'm just looking at you, and I'm like you are like you're You're the real therapy. Get you know, you're like a real person. You're like a you look like a full adult. You have a baby and you have abs. That's incredible. You

Okay.

This is from Amelia. Hello. My name is Millie and I'm from Adelaide, Australia. I was at your show when you were here years ago. I was sitting in the front row. Hell yeah, yeah, that was a fun time. I've always wanted to call in, but I'm worried about how much an international call like that would cost. I have recently found myself single, and it has been a journey,

Hm.

That was a nice email. Should I read one more? Let me see if let me see if I can find like a nice, short and sweet one to just just bring us on home. Okay, this is from Maximus. Subject line idk Man. Maximus says, I couldn't think of anything to say, so here's a picture of my cat. He sent the picture of his cat. I know this is an audio podcast and you can't see the cat, but you can you can know that I am looking at a picture of a cat right now, and maybe

This was? This was.

I hope you enjoyed this hour of hanging out. I know I did. I'm a little sleepy now I'm gonna go to sleep. Much love to everyone out there listening to the show. I'm gonna I'm gonna go to sleep. Thank you guys for listening and see you next time. Thanks for tuning in to our program. Piepe goes on the line taking your phone calls every night, Goes, I'm just teaching you cloud of your life. He's not really an expert