“I MAY GET DEPORTED” - podcast episode cover

“I MAY GET DEPORTED”

Feb 14, 202449 min
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Episode description

An undocumented immigrant with a pending court date calls in seeking advice regarding a drug charge that could result in deportation.

Later a woman from Germany speaks on having facial hair induced by a medical condition, and a final caller meditates on whether or not he’s a sex addict.

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Transcript

Speaker 1

Hello, Hello, Hey, what's your name, Doug? I'm Joey, Joey Joey. What's going on?

Speaker 2

Man?

Speaker 1

What'd you want to talk about today? Man?

Speaker 3

What isn't going on?

Speaker 2

So?

Speaker 3

I have a pretty serious issue. So about two weeks ago, I was going to UH vacation right to Portland.

Speaker 1

And UH.

Speaker 3

On the way up to Portland from the Bay Area of California, I got pulled over. We're going eighty on seventy and cop pulled me over. He said, uh, I look nervous. He wanted to search my car and didn't let him search my car, and she brought a canine unit. So they searched my car anyways, and they found a little bit of cocaine on me. Actually, it's not what they all they found. I had. I had mushrooms, I had MDMA, I had LSD, I had e kedemene, and

I had some cocaine. And I thought I was going to go to jail, but they actually let me go.

Speaker 1

So what's the problem.

Speaker 3

Well, so the problem is now I have to go to court. I have to go to court, and I have to figure out how I'm gonna tell my parents that I got a possession of cocaine charge on my record.

Speaker 1

Okay, let's say when you said, when you said they didn't take it to jail, I thought, I'm fucking sorry, I'm stupid. I thought they meant I thought you meant they were just like, oh yeah, no worries. Oh they like laughed.

Speaker 3

Yeah, they didn't take me to jail in that moment. But going to jail is still definitely a possibility. But that's not even That's only half the problem. So I am an undocumented immigrant from Mexico. So now I'm worried that I could be deported. And I don't know shit about Mexico. I've been here my entire life. I came to the US when I was one year old.

Speaker 1

Oh really, Okay, so you weren't born here, but you came here as a little baby.

Speaker 3

Yeah that's right.

Speaker 1

Wow, And really, and even after being here for twenty four years, they can still deport you.

Speaker 3

I yeah, I guess. So.

Speaker 1

Well, all right, listen, here's the thing. And I'm just gonna before we evolve any further into this conversation, which is a conversation I'm happy to have with you, I want you to know that I am not a lawyer.

Speaker 3

Okay, Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 1

Know if you caught onto that, if you were calling me, and I don't know if you were calling me in lieu of legal advice, but I just thought I would throw that out there that I'm not a lawyer. So this conversation is going to be mainly two dumbasses, Uh, you know, figuring it out right? Have you consulted with a lawyer?

Speaker 2

Oh?

Speaker 3

I've been. I've been asking around for I've sent a couple of emails. I haven't gotten any responses. I've talked to my sister about how I'm gonna tell my parents that I got, you know, pulled over and got a cocaine charge.

Speaker 1

And you when you, I mean, I assume you've like have you done? Can I get deported for drug possession? Reddit as a Google search and seeing what people either? But okay, well let's say.

Speaker 3

Yeah, Well, I guess my unique is I mean, my my case is very unique because I didn't find the ship.

Speaker 1

Why is your case unique?

Speaker 3

What might not be unique? But it's just I haven't I looked on the internet that I didn't really find anything useful. I mean, I guess the only thing that I really found was like, oh yeah, you can definitely be deported.

Speaker 1

Have you ever spoken with a immigration lawyer? Well, I'm curious, so are you're not you're not a citizen of the United States.

Speaker 3

No, I'm I'm undocumented. Actually that's being undocumented has really fucked me up a lot in life. But I'm getting by. I've I've done a lot of cool shit, like I started my own company. Yeah. Anyways, Yeah, it's it's it's real stressful, real, So.

Speaker 1

Like, what's the process, right? Because look, mammy, you've been here since you were since you were one years old. You've got the voice of a John Smith. How come you can't how come you can't uh become a fucking citizen after after twenty four years?

Speaker 4

You know what?

Speaker 3

I think it's just current politics that's you know, this whole immigration reform stuff is super great area where nothing that should move in with baby stuffs.

Speaker 1

Mmm. I mean, have you tried it?

Speaker 2

Like?

Speaker 1

Have you have you? Have you? Have you caught so okay with all this stuff before? I guess before calling me, have you called a immigration lawyer or I guess any type of lawyer?

Speaker 3

Uh So, So my parents were handling all of that. So years back, my dad assaulted by a crackhead, and so he qualifies for you visa and he can sponsor his whole family for U visa. So I've been in that process for years now. I don't know what the status of that is.

Speaker 1

But I'm confused. How is your dad getting assaulted? So if you're assaulted by a crackhead, you can just get a visa?

Speaker 3

Apparently, Yeah, it's called the U visa.

Speaker 1

What's how's that work?

Speaker 3

I have no idea. My parents are the ones handling all of that, and unfortunately I never bothered to ask.

Speaker 1

Just two non lawyer dumbasses figuring it out, and that's what it is. Well well, I mean all right, man, I mean like, uh, okay, so you've how can all right? So listen, it sounds to me like your parents have been the ones figuring all this shit out and talking to lawyers and doing the paperwork and this and that and the other thing. Which but but but look, but listen, man, you're twenty five years old. I mean, you know you can't. You can't call up a lawyer.

Speaker 3

I could, but I haven't because I guess I'm just irresponsible.

Speaker 1

Yeah, dude, what what I mean? Call it? Call a lawyer, Call a lawyer. I almost don't want to keep it. I'm happy to keep talking to you because he seemed like a cool guy, but I almost don't want to keep we've we've That's that's my If you wanted stone cold advice, that's my stone cold advice is to call it a lawyer. Yeah, call a lawyer.

Speaker 3

Well, yeah, that's probably what I should do.

Speaker 1

I have no idea why you haven't yet.

Speaker 3

I mean, I I emailed the lawyer. You know, I just I just I just I've just been I've just been busy.

Speaker 1

You know, you busy doing what? How is this?

Speaker 3

Not?

Speaker 1

How is what? Okay? Tell me the things, tell me, tell me everything that's on the higher that's that's higher on your priority, less than than not getting deported.

Speaker 3

Okay, Well I mean nothing, but I know you talk about how you know your your bar for crazy lives is pretty high. But I do think I live a pretty crazy life.

Speaker 1

Ud lawyer. Go ahead, Sorry, go ahead, I will.

Speaker 3

I'm just I'm just busy. So so I am. I'm a DJ producer, and.

Speaker 1

I okay, I'm sorry. I don't want to keep interrupting.

Speaker 3

You, but no, no, it's okay, Okay, go.

Speaker 1

Ahead, finish finished.

Speaker 3

You finish, You've I promote. I promote a lot of the raves that happen in the Bay Area, some of the venues if you know, if you're from the Bay Area and uh, you know the rave venues for like bass music, up step or whatever. I either throw them or know the people that throw them and promote them. And yeah, that's a lot for me to do. And then on top of that, going to work.

Speaker 1

Take a little break from mixing and call a fucking lawyer.

Speaker 3

I should call it oil.

Speaker 1

You should call a lawyer. Dude, what are you doing?

Speaker 3

I I I I Am going to lunch or what's going to lunch?

Speaker 4

Joey?

Speaker 1

I want to I mean, I say, I want to help you, but I literally cannot. I have no skills to do stuff.

Speaker 5

But okay, how about this sounds this sounds like okay, this sounds like a higher look all the rave stuff, it sounds cool.

Speaker 1

But this sounds like a significantly higher priority than your raves.

Speaker 3

Yeah, yeah, how about this? How do you think I should uh? How do you think I should tell my my diehard Catholic parents that I am getting this cocaine?

Speaker 1

Uh? Make it a hidden message in one of your songs and play it for them. Oh, man, I invite them, invite them to invite them to one of your raves and then as part of like on the projector you can put your subpoena on there.

Speaker 3

Oh that that sounds horrible.

Speaker 1

Also, yeah, by the way, here's my friend. Look, you're here twenty five years old. I mean you can your parents don't have to be a part of this if you don't even want them to, well I will.

Speaker 3

I live with them and they don't charge me for rent.

Speaker 1

How do you afford all this cocaine?

Speaker 3

I have a pretty pretty good job. I fix cars like an autobody technician, and they don't pay me enough, but I do make a decent amount.

Speaker 2

Hmm.

Speaker 3

Yeah, you know I only started I only started doing you know, I only started doing drugs this past year.

Speaker 1

Well, so if you get to ported to Mexico, what are you going to do? Well?

Speaker 3

You know, I try to be uh, I try to be stoic about it. Yeah, but but it's a it's a lot to uh. You know, I've built my entire life here and I have, you know, things going on here, So it's like get deported then I don't I don't know yeah, I really don't know, but but I I have. It does sound like I should call lawyer.

Speaker 1

Do you speak Spanish? Do you I assume you speak Spanish.

Speaker 3

A little bit. It's broken.

Speaker 5

I do speak it, Okay, I you could have Listen, here's the thing.

Speaker 1

I don't think you're gonna I want to. I want to reassure you and say I don't think you're gonna get deported. But I don't want to lie to you have no idea. That's why I should call lawyer. Yeah, but you know, but here's what I do. I'm not gonna say you're not gonna get deported. But here's what I do think Joey is and I I liked. I think part of stoicism is is rolling with whatever the fuck happens, because you know, life is crazy and sometimes

things don't always go your way. Uh So, look, if you do get deported to Mexico, why don't you just become the big Why don't you just become a famous Mexican DJ. Why don't you do underground Mexican raves? That sounds cool, sounds fun. That's not the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone.

Speaker 3

Oh man, I don't know. I mean, does the Mexico have a good you know, bass music scene.

Speaker 1

Well you should call lawyers that you never have to figure out the answer to that question.

Speaker 3

Yeah, yeah, I should call.

Speaker 1

I think you'll be fine whatever happens to you. You seem like a nice guy.

Speaker 3

I try to be. I'm not that whole Joey.

Speaker 1

I well, okay, before I let you go, is there any I mean, I feel like the answer is no, But is there any other thing the way that I could help you with this?

Speaker 3

I'm thinking about it, you know, not really I think I I think I I think I got to call a lawyer.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I think so too.

Speaker 3

Oh man, Well, this is uh, this is gonna be the fucking It's gonna be a fucking issue. But I'll get through it.

Speaker 1

You'll get through it. You'll get through it. I think you'll get through it. You think you'll get through it.

Although it would be it would be sick to like it would be sick to like be at a like a Mexican I was at a I was at a Mexican uh pizza place the other day and I was just what there was like a TV on and it was like the news Mexico and I was just I don't, I don't, I don't, I know like two words of Spanish, and so I didn't know what was going on, and it would it would be cool to one day go back to that pizza place and I just see you on the news, you know, jamming out.

Speaker 3

What that means? Yeah, I mean, isn't a never.

Speaker 1

Mind, Joe? Is there anything else gonna say the people in the computer before we go.

Speaker 3

People the computer? Uh, well, it's gonna be okay. And uh And if you're in the Bay Area, go to Base Raves.

Speaker 1

And if you're in the I'm gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna stomp over you. And I'm gonna say, if you're in the Bay Area and you're an immigration or criminal lawyer, give this man a call. Oh yes, please, thank you for calling. Joe. I have it going.

Speaker 3

Good luck you too.

Speaker 1

With Hey, folks, it's Lyle. I'm here to tell you that tickets for my Therapy Gecko Live show are available right now at therapy geckotour dot com in several cities across the United States, or you can find them at the link in the episode description. Also, if you don't see your city on the list of cities, Please still click the link and RSVP with your phone number so I can contact you when tickets go on sale for your city, because I'm going to announce a bunch more

dates very soon. If you've never been to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix of group Gecko Therapy sessions as well as some material and presentations from myself. And if you've been to the show before, I have new presentations and will of course be interviewing new people. If you're a fan of the podcast, you're gonna have a great time at the live show, So I hope to

see you guys there. Go to therapy geckotour dot com or check the link in the episode description for a full list of cities where tickets are available. Geck Bluss Hello, Hi, who is this?

Speaker 2

I'm Sarah?

Speaker 1

Hey Sarah, Hi Sarah. What's up?

Speaker 2

I was just gaming and then you started streaming, So I'm just pausing my game, shaking it being called by you.

Speaker 1

I don't know, Sarah, what's going on? How's how's life? How can I get you today? I see that you you are calling from Germany.

Speaker 2

I am, Yes, life is kind of crazy right now.

Speaker 1

I don't know.

Speaker 2

It depends on what you're interested in.

Speaker 1

I guess well, I I will let you have the floor. While as to explaining why life is crazy.

Speaker 2

Well, okay, so just for the viewers, I'm twenty four. Just as context, I guess my fifty year old moment is cancer. So that's going on in my life currently. Besides that, I'm writing my bad shows theses and struggling in life like everyone. I guess.

Speaker 1

Now. You mentioned in your text that the thing one of the things you wanted to talk about is that you you have a beard.

Speaker 2

I grow more facial hair than normal, this woman does. I guess yes, m hm.

Speaker 1

Was there any like thing in particular about that that you wanted to talk about?

Speaker 2

I did want to talk about that, yes, because it is treated by a chronic illness that makes me very sad on like a daily basis.

Speaker 6

M hm hm.

Speaker 1

I don't know why, but I feel like everyone in Germany's has got to be miserable.

Speaker 2

Why would you say that Germany?

Speaker 1

Like last year, I was, yeah, I was, well, I mean, you guys tried really hard to, you know, kill everyone, and you fails. And you got to you gotta live with that l and by the and you know what's crazy, that wasn't even a hundred years ago. There's still people alive from when you guys did that.

Speaker 2

And the worst, yes, the worst thing about that is that I guess people like that with that mindset are returning and it's not good. But I will not get political like that right now.

Speaker 1

Oh there's other are there Nazis in Germany still?

Speaker 2

Oh? Yes, And not to alarm anyone out there in the world, but like the right wing party we have is gaining a lot, a lot of a lot of water right now and it's very scary interesting.

Speaker 1

Well, I guess it's never I guess. I guess you can feel confident in the fact that it's peaked.

Speaker 2

I hope that's the truth. I really do hope that's the truth.

Speaker 1

It seems it seems like it's peaked. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know, I don't know if. I don't know, if you guys, I don't know if you guys are gonna be able to do all that stuff again. I think that that I think you guys Germany peaked. It's all Germany peaked. Unfortunately. That's the thing is everyone's well, that's why everyone's sad. There is because there's a bunch of people walking around who peaked. It's like people who like were popular in high school and now are just losers.

Speaker 2

Well, I'll have to ask everyone in my life now if they think Germany has peaked.

Speaker 1

Mm hmmm, well what else? Uh? Oh, you guys got Curry Worst. That's awesome.

Speaker 2

Oh did you have someone? You were in Berlin year?

Speaker 1

I was. I was like when I had it, I was like, this is so good. I almost wish that Germany won World War Two so that they sold it everywhere.

Speaker 2

That would I would be happy for the rest of the world if they also had Colly West as we call it without an accent.

Speaker 1

Mm hmmm mm hmm. All right, so Germany, you're you're in Germany, you're a person, You're alive on Earth. What what game were you playing when I interrupted you with my phone call?

Speaker 2

I will playing life is strange too?

Speaker 1

Uh oh, okay, I've heard of that one. Is it any good?

Speaker 2

I've actually played it before. This is a replay. I'm just on the first episode, but so far I'm enjoying it. Yeah, I guess, M.

Speaker 1

Well, well, all right, I mean, I guess I'll say this, Sarah is there, Like, what would you like from this phone call? I'll ask you that question.

Speaker 2

I would like to, I don't know, put myself out there in my troubles and maybe finally feel like I can be understood, because every time I've tried, I feel like I've failed. And maybe since you have a bigger audience, there will be somebody that can understand me and my struggles a little bit.

Speaker 1

Sure, welcome, I'll let you have the floor.

Speaker 2

Okay, I guess I'll just talk about what I texted you about Lila, if that's okay, Sure, Okay, So I was well, I am a SIS woman. I do identify as a SIS woman more or less. But I have a chronic illness that messes with my hormones and that means that every morning I have too well shave off my beard and like genuinely, genuinely I have like more facial heir growth than a woman would have, and it's

it's really depressing. There's no day that I don't look in the mirror where I'm like, do people notice this? And do people think less of me? Because they don't see me maybe fully as a woman, and it's just very hard to deal with this every single day.

Speaker 1

M hm.

Speaker 2

Should I just continue to be have something to say

to this? Okay? So I do try to. I guess cover the shadow of this facial hair shows on my face with makeup, but I still feel like it can cover up, especially like my emotions that I have inside that I feel like maybe this chronic illness will be the cause of mean we're being fully happy, because when I think of maybe being in a relationship in my future, I'm like, you know from movies, you know this wonderful scene where you wake up in the morning and it's

sunny outside and you just wake up with your partner and you're happy and everything is good. And I feel like I'll never have that because the first thing I will do in the morning when I wake up, maybe next to a future partner, we'll be worrying about what I look like, if my facial hair is grown up too much, and if I just don't look lovable.

Speaker 1

So you're growing out a full beard, Like how big of a beard are we talking?

Speaker 2

It's not like a full beard. It's my upper lip in my chin area is like when I wake up in the morning, it's like proper stubble, Like you can see it.

Speaker 1

It's visible, really it and it grows and it grows even if you shave it off, it grows immediately every morning.

Speaker 2

Yeah, okay, Let's say, for example, if I shave eve in the morning at like five am for whatever reason, I'm about five like in the evening at eight pm, I'd say, you can already like feel stubble growing out on my like on my chin.

Speaker 1

Yeah really, now is this something?

Speaker 2

Now?

Speaker 1

When you when you speak to the doctors, what do they tell you about about how you can deal with this?

Speaker 2

Well, the problem is, since this is caused by hormones, I can try and do like I guess what would be called laser therapy on my fish lair. But the thing is, there's no certainty that it will help.

Speaker 1

They're like an, you should talk to a doctor and not a gecko about this, But isn't there like, uh, can you like take pills and shit to kind of regulate your hormones better?

Speaker 2

The thing is I could take like contraception, Yeah, I'm birth control, but I also have like really bad migraines, which means I can't take birth control. With like estrogen because that increases my risk of like having a stroke, And I know I should talk more to my doctor about this, but I also am really bad with going to a doctor and having to deal with this because it's already on my mind every single day and I just can't deal with that increased pressure.

Speaker 1

But I don't. Okay, that doesn't make sense to me, so why But but going to a doctor and dealing with it will help you with the issue so that it's not on your mind every single day, Like why are you Why are you avoiding going to the doctor.

Speaker 2

I guess it's just a problem I kind of have in general, not doing what I'm supposed to, like not emailing my unique professor when I really should, and then putting it out for months and then just worrying. And that's a problem I have in general. But I don't know, it's just having to deal with this, having to explain it to somebody who maybe doesn't really get my struggles, and I don't know, it's just it's kind of hard.

Speaker 1

Mhm. God. I wish, Sarah. I wish I had something better to tell you than to just go see a doctor. I really do, But I don't but I don't. I really don't. I think you should go see a doctor or a professional. Because here's the thing.

Speaker 5

If I were, if you told, if I were like, if I were like a guy who went to medical school and new things about science, I could like, I'm so useless to you right now, I really am.

Speaker 1

You should go talk to a doctor about these items.

Speaker 2

Okay, Two things. One, yes, you're so right, I should go talk to a doctor, and I will again, hopefully in the future and very soon. And two, I wouldn't say that you're like useless in this situation because I didn't come here for medical advice. I came here to have some fun talking to a get go and maybe have you tell me that even though I struggle that you know, there's reasons to be happy or something.

Speaker 1

All right, reasons to be happy. Let's think about that. Reasons to be happy.

Speaker 2

I already have one right now, actually not too cheesy. But I have been listening to you like at work, which and my work is terribly mundane a lot like for the past year or even a bit more, and always cheers me up. And it's very nice to be able to talk to you.

Speaker 1

And now that makes me happy. That's a reason for me to be happy. Reasons to be happy? I don't know. We're about reasons to be happy. I'm trying to figure out those for myself. I've googled. This is a pathetic thing to admit, but I whatever I've googled recently. This is not like a thing I did when I was like in high school. This is a this is like several times over the past year. I've just googled how to be happy. I'm like, what are the basics? What

did the doctors recommend? Like you go on healthline and it's like you go in the sun, have friends and don't eat like shit. That's what That's what it says, so to quote to quote Google, have friends, go in the sun and don't eat like shit, don't eat all those curry worst.

Speaker 2

But the thing is, isn't eating like shit the like most enjoyable thing to do is.

Speaker 1

Yeah, dude, that's why. God, that's why life fucking sucks. You called it. You called so you you called in wanting me to like give be motivating. But I'm I I mean, yeah, life is crazy. It's crazy. There's all this delicious food and you if you eat it, you die. And you fall in love with people and they try to kill you, and you know, you get drafted into wars. I mean, yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy out there, it's crazy.

Speaker 2

Are you saying that maybe I should embrace the fact that life's life sucking, sucks and just be happy then when it actually doesn't.

Speaker 1

Is that a conclusion that you're coming to on your own as we're having this conversation right now.

Speaker 2

Maybe a little bit, yeah, Because I mean I don't think it's good to be pessimistic all the time. I definitely have a bit too pessimistic, but maybe it helps a bit to appreciate when life doesn't suck, and to appreciate like being happy or having like small happy moments.

Speaker 1

See here's the thing. See, here's the thing, Sarah is I actually don't think what you needed with somebody to be optimistic. I actually think if you're pessimistic, what you need is to talk to somebody who's even more pessimistic, so that way you can go, I don't want to sound like that fucking guy, you know what I mean.

And then you're like, and then you come to these conclusions on your own, which you did because you said are you you were like you said to me, Are you saying that I should be uh, you know, accept that life sucks and to be happy anyway. But I don't want. I don't want. I don't want to take that. I you you that's a conclusion you came to on your own, you know.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I know sometimes you do. Sometimes you do. Got to throw your fucking hands up and be like, all right, well, I I can't control whatever cards were levied upon me in this universe, but I can control how I deal with it. And I think I don't. I don't know. I wish I had a better thing for you other than telling you to go to a doctor. But that's that's you should totally have You've been. I assume you've been to a doctor to talk about this before at least once.

Speaker 2

Oh multiple times, multiple doctors in my life, not just for this issue. But yes, I have, I just haven't in the last year about this anymore.

Speaker 1

What made you stop in the first place.

Speaker 2

Probably the fact that, well, if I go to a doctor about this a lot of the time, since it's a gynecologist, and also combines with having to you know, spread my legs open for the doctor, and it's not the mostest thing ever. Yeah, sorry to be so I guess crass about it, but it's just the truth.

Speaker 1

Well, I I'm I if if it's if, if a gecko telling you to go to the doctor is helpful in any way, shape or form, I will tell you to go to the doctor because I think he's he's the he or she's the one who's going to Germany's progressive. They have all kinds of doctors.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1

If if, if the doctor tells you to do I don't want to. I don't wanna. I don't want to patronize you by explaining what doctors do. But oh no, you should. You should got to you should go to the doctor. Sarah.

Speaker 2

Okay, Well that's a great motivation for me actually to hear from you. Maybe it will actually motivate me to call in and get an appointment soon.

Speaker 1

Is there anything else that you wanted to say or or talk about before we go?

Speaker 2

You know, I listened to one of your podcasts episodes recently and you asked somebody at the end if they want to I don't know what was it, give a shout out to a band or something?

Speaker 1

Oh? Yeah, sure you give a shout out to a band. You got a band.

Speaker 2

It's not my band, it's just a band. I like to listen to hit us.

Speaker 1

What is it?

Speaker 2

Okay? So the band it's from the UK. It's called Boston Manor. I think they're releasing a new album soon. So give that a try and support them. I love them a lot.

Speaker 1

Boston Manor. Everyone check out Boston Manor from the UK. Yes, thank you, Sarah, good luck and uh I enjoyed, enjoy, enjoy playing your game and eating eating food and living life.

Speaker 2

Thank you you enjoy any food too, low and thank you very much by Sarah. Bye.

Speaker 1

Hello, Hi, what's up? Yes, sir? Who is this?

Speaker 4

I'm fucking oh my god?

Speaker 1

What's your name? Cowboy?

Speaker 4

Should I use my real name?

Speaker 1

No? Don't? Yeah, all right, you know what I'm You know, I'm gonna start. You know what I'm gonna do, because I do this thing where I forget everybody's name. I'm just gonna give people names because I don't know nobody. Nobody should be. Nobody should be using their real name on this fucking thing anyway. So I'm not gonna ask anyone what their name is anymore. I'm just gonna give.

Speaker 4

You a name.

Speaker 1

You're okay, all right? Your name is Jonathan. That's stupid. No, your name is Jonathan, but I'm gonna call you John for short. John. What's up? How's life?

Speaker 4

Life is complicated? Well? I cannot believe I got a call from you?

Speaker 1

Life is complicated? Well, John? Why is life complicated? Besides the obvious reasons?

Speaker 4

But what do you think the obvious reasons are?

Speaker 3

Why?

Speaker 1

What are the obvious reasons as to why life is complicated? Well? I mean life well, I mean I guess the goal of life well, and there's all sorts of different goals of life. But happiness, I think is the one that people want the most. And happiness is a fickle and complex thing. But I'm not I don't want to wax poetic about bullshit. I want to hear what why your life in particular feels complicated?

Speaker 4

I would say that there's a lot going on in my life right now.

Speaker 1

Ah, you texted me and you said my name is am I gonna say your name. You said, I'm twenty years old and I think I have a sex addiction.

Speaker 4

Yeah, I mean I think it's I don't know if sex addiction is the right way to put it. I think it's a it's a it's a lack of sort of.

Speaker 3

How would I put it, Uh, it's a.

Speaker 4

Lack of directed emotional connection.

Speaker 1

Mhm hmmm, A lack of emotion, A lack of directed emotional connection.

Speaker 4

I think that I that I use sort of sexual relationships to make up for.

Speaker 1

Okay, yeah, mmm, in in in what way? Like are you? Are you having sex with a lot of different people to make up for having like a an emotional connection with with any of them.

Speaker 4

I think it's sort of like, I don't see myself having an emotional connection with any of them, but I continue to have sexual relationships with them because it sort of feels a small part of that gap of of what I'm hoping for searching for?

Speaker 1

What are you hoping for and searching for?

Speaker 3

Hmm?

Speaker 4

What eh for and searching for?

Speaker 1

Do you desire a direct emotional connection?

Speaker 4

I would say I do, mm hmm, but I don't I have. I haven't found someone that that I I feel I would want that with yet or the people that I have I felt like I wanted that with has there's hasn't been a reciprocation.

Speaker 1

Tell me about the type of person that you would want to have a direct emotional connection with.

Speaker 4

Mmm, I think it's someone that, uh, I just like, there's there has to be a vibe. I don't know any better way to put it. Yeah, it has to be there's to be an easiness to it.

Speaker 3

M H.

Speaker 1

Well, so you can say, well, seri's the thing you can say vibe. But if you really think about it, this vibe, if you thought about it, you could put it into words, right, like do you do you desire to be with somebody who you feel comfortable in silence around, Somebody who could whose lifestyle could easily integrate into yours, Somebody who you feel like is on the same intellectual level as you. Somebody who you're deeply physically attracted to. Somebody who who you feel like has the same sense

of humor. Like these what you call a vibe can be described in in different ways. And I'm curious when you think about this vibe, what what ways you come up with?

Speaker 4

Yeah? Absolutely, I mean I think it's sort of I think when I'm when I'm looking for a for a romantic relationship, it's it's someone that it's that same circ connection that I have with with someone it's it's just a friend to me, like a very good friend where I connect with them on a on a comedic level, and a like I can have deep conversations with them and there's there's that comfortableness in silence, but also the ability to talk to them about really anything that I'm

going through or they're going through.

Speaker 1

And why do you say that you have a sex addiction? Is it because you feel like you're just using like tell in your head?

Speaker 4

Yeah, I think I think re thinking that. I think sex addicition wasn't maybe wasn't the right way to put it. I think it's more of a use of sex to to fill a gap, which I don't know would be I don't know if that would be necessarily I don't know if that would fit into the realm or definition of a of a sex addiction.

Speaker 1

Okay, so, but you said that you're using sex to avoid this emotion? Are you like? Is that like, is that true? Or is that like just the narrative you've crafted, like are you are you? Are you using sex to avoid something? Or are you just No, I don't.

Speaker 4

Think I'm using it to avoid anything.

Speaker 1

Okay, it's just sort.

Speaker 4

Of a sort of a filler.

Speaker 1

Does does the sex that you have with these people does that leave does it? Does it get you into trouble? Does it lead you unfulfilled? Does it leave other people confused? Or like? What you know? Do you do you? Are there any problems arising out of out of this behavior from you or from the people you're having sex with.

Speaker 4

I think it's I don't think it's I think if anything, it causes more problems from my elf.

Speaker 1

Okay, uh, because like.

Speaker 4

By partaking in it, I sort of pull myself away from like that search within myself, sort of give myself the the how I put it, the space to find myself and within finding myself or space to find it a person within my life that I would want to that I have the ability or want to pursue something further with.

Speaker 1

Look at this guy, he just therapy geckoed himself.

Speaker 4

That's what my therapist always says, I do.

Speaker 1

That's great, your therapist. It sounds like makes a lot of money for doing absolutely nothing. No, I'm just kidding. Sure, So okay, all right, so you know, all right, so you're you're I'm assuming if your therapist has said that to you, that you've come to this conclusion multiple times, like, this is not this is not a light bulb moment that you're having on the phone with me right now. This is something that you've you've come to yourself before.

Speaker 4

I mean, it's definitely it's definitely something that I've I mean, I think this conclusion is definitely something I've come to with myself before. It's not something that I've actually talked with my therapist a lot about. Uh, it's there's so manly, like a thing that's come up, but not something that's talked about a lot. But I definitely like talked about my friends like.

Speaker 3

A good amount, which.

Speaker 1

Is so so I mean, so you've come to the conclusion that the the kind of meaningless sex is just taking you away from the like the the the the search as you call it, uh, within yourself. Yeah, i'd say, so that's a smart that's a smart thing to know about yourself.

Speaker 6

And yeah, I think it it's sort of yeah, I mean, I I think it's also sort of it definitely leaves me with a with a feeling of Yeah, there's definitely a dissatisfaction with it as well.

Speaker 4

Just uh in terms of like I like I I do, I do a good job of making my intentions clear with people them hooking.

Speaker 3

Up with or.

Speaker 4

Like I I think I do. I feel like I do a good job of not leading like a person on.

Speaker 1

So, so, John, I guess before we go, like, I mean, tell me this all right, So you've come to this conclusion about yourself, and now, as we all know, as we all know, as we've learned time and time and time again, the body, more specifically, the penis will act in ways that conflict with the logic of the brain.

Speaker 4

Absolutely, But.

Speaker 1

What's your name again? John? John? You are a You are a human being. Oh how should I put this?

Speaker 6

You are?

Speaker 1

You are you are a higher being than the ape, than the dog. What I don't have a third animal? You are a higher being and thus perhaps than the than the gecko, than the gecko. Yes, and thus you have the ability to use your brain over your penis. And I I wish you. I wish you luck in fighting that good fight, my friend.

Speaker 3

Thank you?

Speaker 1

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Speaker 4

It's been a pleasure talking with you and people of the internet. Take your time.

Speaker 1

Hey you too, man, see you around.

Speaker 4

Seud goes on the line taking

Speaker 2

Every night every beacon goes to teaching you, experien

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