“I MASTURBATED IN AN ATTACK HELICOPTER”

Hello, Hey, what's up man?

How are you doing?

What's your name? What's going on with you today? What you want to talk about?

Well, so I had a question. Oh god, this is gonna sound so bad. So, in an unnamed location, I may have masturbated on a helicopter very near several guys. But they didn't see it and they didn't know what happened. So is it gay?

What was the context of being in the helicopter in the first place?

War?

You were fighting in a war, yes, riding in a helicopter. Correct, masturbating in the helicopter briefly, Yeah, that's a little guy.

Yeah, But they didn't know, and like it wasn't about them. It was just kind of this primal urge. You know, how are you?

How are you able to masturbate in a helicopter? A helicopter is like such a compact space. And also, well, okay, hell were you are you?

Are you?

Were you a soldier?

I know, yes, military, not soldier.

Okay, you were? You were in so you you were like you're wearing all this like fucking combat gear. You've an AK forty seven strapped to your back, and you somehow find a way to pull your dick out and masturbate.

Yeah, well, I mean there's several layers, and you know, granted not everybody could make that happen. It does take some skill. But I mean, does that make it less gay because it takes more skill?

Are you still in the army?

No?

Why?

It just didn't feel right, you know, m hm.

How long were you in the army for.

Twelve years?

What year out of the twelve years was the year that you masturbated in the helicopter?

I pleaded the sieth.

Where did you ejaculate? Did you ejaculate?

Oh?

Yeah, of course? I mean what's the point if you don't.

Where did you ejaculate?

Just out the window? I mean probably stuck to the side of the thing because we're flying.

You're okay there, dude, there there's no way in hell that you ejaculated out the window of a helicopter with a filled people without anybody knowing. There's just no way that you did that.

Well, so it's going to be hard to explain. But when you're wearing night vision goggles, it throws your depth perception way off, so you can't see anything within ten feet of view and your field of view is very restricted. You can only see far out, so nobody's looking inside.

So you see everybody wearing night vision goggles and you go, oh, you're wearing them too, So I mean, could you even see your penis?

Then?

No? God, no, you don't need to see your dick to masturbate.

This is crazy that our tax dollars go to this.

Well, you know, it wasn't really you shouldn't think of it like the tax dollars are paying for masturbation. It was just kind of a symptom of the environment.

How so.

Hard to explain unless you've been there. I'm telling you, I bet somebody in chat has experienced a combat boner.

So you're saying that war makes you horny.

No, not quite, not in that sense. You can get a physical reaction. You ever heard of a NARB no apparent reason bone?

Yes, yeah, I know what that is.

You could have something similar to that, but like think of being stimulated to the max. But then also you have like the vibrations of the helicopter. I don't know, so.

It was the helicopter the major horny.

Maybe?

Okay, Well I'm glad you're not in the military anymore.

Yeah, me too.

What do you do now?

What are this little of that you.

Know that sounds like you do a whole lot more of jacking off a lot.

Ghek, I'm masturbate a lot.

Yeah, do you do or anything? Are you a real person? Are you fucking with me?

No?

I actually I swear true story.

Okay, tell me more about combat boners. What why do you think they occur?

I don't know. I like a few people that I had talked to have experienced them and acted upon them. Not quite in that manner looking back, not the best call, But I just think there's something to do with really tapping into that primal caveman that's inside of all of us. And if you let that guy really get a hold of everything, he's gonna want to jerk off. You know, there's no cave woman around. I'll bring you back to your cave. You're surrounding by guys for a year.

There should be some kind of call of duty kill streak award that just makes the opposing team I'll get a boner, maybe.

Like a tactical boner nuke.

Tactical boner nuke. Do you have a Do you tell me about your life?

Now?

What do you do? And don't say a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

I'm trying to not really docks myself here, you know what I mean.

But you've already docked yourself. You're the guy who masturbated in a helicopter. That's you.

Yeah, that's true.

And nobody cares about your first and last name. They already know much deeper information about you.

Yeah, I'm a helicopterm masturbator. Well, I work at a small shop in a pretty rural area and live a very slow life.

Now, okay, is that enjoyable for you?

No? I fucking hate it.

Why do you hate it?

Trying to figure that out? Gick? Not a whole lot of happiness in life ever since that year?

Okay, so I'm gonna guess it was year twelve.

No, it was. I think it would have been ten.

Okay. So when you say not a whole lot of happiness since that year, you mean the year that you masturbated in the helicopter.

Yeah.

Yeah, just the whole year surrounding that incident.

Yeah, Okay, why is that?

I don't know nothing. Uh. I think that's kind of the side effect of it, is you for this year. I feel like you just use up so much of your body's adrenaline. You just this roller coaster of emotions. You're you're working days straight, you get a few hour nap, got to wake up, go on a mission, go go go. You can never really think of anything. And then you get home. All in the span of like a week, you go from that life to a grinding halt and everything is slow and nothing's scary and you're just a

So you missed the excitement of warfare.

Yeah, but I don't miss war. It's a double edged sword man, and you know, it's a whole pointless war anyway. I don't want to get into that side of things there.

But what war? What war?

Is this?

What are we are?

You?

Were you in Irq?

One of the countries that we were in the past twenty years?

Damn dude, that's uh, that's that's that's the that's the US engaging in biological warfare right there, just coming on another country.

Do you think they like, do you think they trained me to do that? And I didn't even know it.

No?

Do you have a family? Do you have friends?

Sons? No family?

Okay? What do you think would make your life more exciting.

Man, trying to figure that out too.

How long have you been out of the military for a couple of years now, and the whole time you've just been hanging out in this small town.

For the most part. Yeah, yeah, I try to find work after the military is the hardest part.

Did they give you any money? How do they how do they do? Are we at a point where I don't know any of the ship. Are we at a point where like, if you're a veteran you get a bunch of money or do you not get money?

No? No, you have to you have to do a full Yes, they found out what they did in the helicopter, I mean for sure, but you have to do it.

I mean, you did twelve you have to do a full what you did twelve.

Years, you got to do twenty plus.

You gotta do twenty plus. Yeah, god damn. So all right, so you just left and they were like, all right, see you go work at McDonald's.

Yeah, pretty much. I mean what you got to turn in some uniforms and stuff. But then when you get out, you can you can you know, grow facial hair, smoke pot and get fat.

That's not so bad. You can do that. Without going into the military. I know, I know firsthand.

Yeah, nobody really told me that.

Let's see, So in these past two years, have you done anything to make an attempt to spice up your life in any way?

Hmm, not really. I think I was just trying to establish my new life, you know, get a house, get a source of income coming, and honestly, for the first year, I was just trying to not kill myself. M hm. So that occupied you. Just it's hard to explain it. Just I felt so emotionally neutral that even even if you brought me to six Flags, I would just look at a roller coaster and think it looks boring, you.

Know, you know, you know, I feel like the old guy from the six Flags commercials when he's not at six Flags, is also actively trying every day not to kill himself.

That's a good point. Maybe I should dance like him.

Yeah.

Man, So you come home after a twelve year tour of around the country and you're just it's a total different environment. You're not around people every single day like you were. Uh, you're not as you say, go go go and having your you know, your your brain and your body are far more idle than they were before, and it's driving It drove you fucking crazy.

Yeah, yeah, it about sums it up.

Uh huh. So are you still in and it's okay if you are. Are you still in this like I'm trying every day just to just to get through the day mode.

No, uh that that got better a bit maybe six months ago. Quit drinking, quit smoking, quit doing a lot of stuff, just trying to be healthier and just I mean, it just takes time. You know, there's there's there's nothing you can really do to just turn that ship around in a month. Everything takes time.

Mm hmm. Well, I feel like I mean, the go Go go nature, It's it's really just it's really just this idea that for certain certain people like a slow life. And then there's certain people where, you know, if they're not constantly being stimulated and out and about and achieving objectives and doing things that you know, their their brain just goes to to dark places when it doesn't have a thing to do.

You know.

Yeah, I'm not really like that. Ghek, Like I don't I don't really want the go go go anymore. But that's I don't really know what I do want. That's kind of the side effect of it. But really, I just keep wishing I could be left the hell alone and go somewhere and not be a slave to the nine to five. And then I didn't know how bad everybody had it out here. This shit sucks, m So.

You just don't want to be a slave to here nine to five?

No, God, No?

Did you save any money over the course of the twelve years?

Oh? Ghek, I blew that so hard? Are you kidding me?

Would you blow it on.

House and then a car?

I wouldn't consider buying a house to be blowing money.

Yeah, but do we really need houses? You know? I think all the time, what if I didn't have this place, I could get in a van and drive the country or travel the world.

I don't know how much was the house.

It was cheap. It's a rural area. It was like two hundred and than thirty something like.

That in cash.

No, No, financed a lot of it, all.

Right, How much money do is you put down the house?

Actually?

None?

When when you're in the military and you do a deployment, you are eligible for a VA home loan, and that's a zero down, low interest rate loans, So it doesn't make a ton of sense to even really put your money up front on it anyway.

Oh okay, but you have equity in the house, I do, Yeah, okay? Could you? Could you feasibly rent it out or sell it and use the money to get a van and travel around?

I thought about that. But what happens if the furnace goes out and you're in the middle of nowhere? You know what I mean, that's your responsibility as the land I don't want to be a scumbag landlord. If I could rent this place out for just what it cost me and know that I wouldn't have any complications, I would do that. I would never do it for profit.

Okay, but what about Yeah, what.

About the responsibility for your renter?

What about uh? I mean? Could just sell the house then and just take the equity and buy a van?

Yes? But what do I do after that? Geg, Let's say I travel for a year or two. You know, I'm not exactly young. You can add it up by the time I was in the military. You get back, you still don't have a job. You probably burned up the money from the equity in your house. You're back at square one.

Yeah, it is true. It is true. We live in a universe where you need to figure out some way to make enough money to eat food and not die.

Yeah, I mean that's the idea.

How much money do you need to eat food and not die?

Where am I eating?

Uh? The the bare minimum that you need that you'd be happy you with, but you also won't have to have a job.

Hmmm.

I don't know. Have to imagine if you're on the road, you can't exactly be preparing all of your meals because you've got restricted space. So it's probably going to be more expensive, probably more around the four four hundred bucks three four.

Hundred bucks a month, three to four hundred bucks a month, if right.

I've never really lived down the road, you know, but I'm just guessing food is more expensive if you're trying to stay traveling. You can't you don't have a full sized fridge in the pantry, you know.

Listen. I don't know. I'm playing Dave Ramsey here because it's fun, but that's it, right, I don't know, man, I like listen, I think you could figure it out, is what I'm saying.

You know.

Yeah, all right, so you so you don't you don't you well, you said, I blew my money. I thought you meant you spent it all on coke.

No, I mean a little bit on coke, for sure, a little bit on acid.

Hmm.

Some fun trips in there.

But have you ever spoke to a real therapist? Do they give you like health insurance and ship?

Yeah, And the the first therapist I talked to, uh, the second time she saw me, she said, she got moved elsewhere. Okay, so then they get they assigned me to a different one. And then I opened up to her, and then she got transferred, and by the time I got to the third one, I was sick of the system. And then by the time I got to the fourth one and I opened up to her, she said, Jesus Christ, I don't know what to say.

So you went through the therapy. Ringer tried, all right, well again, it sounds like you're doing it. Sounds like you're doing well. Sounds like you're doing better. If you went from I'm trying every day not to kill myself too, you know, I'm doing okay. I just don't want to work a job.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's the that's the default of all people pretty much.

Yeah, yeah, m.

Well, what else?

Man?

What else while I have you on the phone.

I don't know.

I didn't really plan past the jerking off in a helicopter. I thought I thought that was kind of going to be the focus of it. We we really went a lot deeper there than I pictured.

Yeah, I mean, jerking off in the helicopter. It's pretty funny, right, it's pretty funny, but it's I don't know if we could have talked about it for twenty whole minutes, even though we sort of did.

Yeah, yeah, it was pretty pretty small amount of time to talk about it for twenty minutes.

But yeah, I.

Still I don't we you've talked about all these things, and I almost I feel I feel as though we should end this phone call with some form of resolution. You know, there's no resolution of any kind of anything at.

All, not not today. But who's to say what tomorrow brings.

That's a resolution. Yeah, that's missing.

Yeah, I'll leave you with I'm not planning to leave us here anytime soon.

Okay, great, great, great, that's I would say. That's a good resolution. Yeah, what's your name again?

I'm not saying that again?

All right, Well, how many times did you tell me over the course of the cast I think.

I think maybe once at the beginning, but uh, you know whatever, I'm gonna.

Call you Bruce because there's because I could just have everyone tell me to tell me their names and I would just you could just all be anonymous. That would be easier for everyone. Bruce, thank you for your service.

You know, Gek, I appreciate you for your service.

I was gonna make some I was gonna make some joke that alluded back to you jerking off in the helicopter, but I couldn't think of anything quickly enough, so I just sincerely thanked you for your service.

Couldn't come up with a catchy punchline for the inner jerk offer.

Now you're a cool guy, Bruce. I appreciate you calling. I hope you find something to do with your life that makes you happy. I don't believe that there's no resolution to this. I think that even the mere fact that you are on an upwards trajectory from where you were before and now you have a hope for the future. I think if you just keep tinkering around, hopefully something will we'll catch your your interest.

Yeah, we'll get there, all right. I have a feeling I'll probably find it outside of the country.

Yeah, I think so too, Man, check out. I'm always on Airbnb looking at like a Bali, Like, how cheap could I live in Bali or any of these other places?

Yeah?

Yeah, it's pretty incredible. I mean you have places like the Philippines too, where all the natives speak English and everything costs about a quarter of the price.

Well, Bruce, go jack off in your own bed. You deserve it. I will get I will take care, love you, love you too. This is why I do the podcast, man, You get to talk to all kinds of people about jerking off in all kinds of places. Hey, what's up? Yeah?

Who is this?

Hey?

This is Paul.

Paul. What's going on?

Many's just sitting here. I was watching dragon ball D play stream came on.

You know, killing you were watching dragon ball Z. What episode of dragon ball Z?

Like three episodes from the end of the Freezer saga.

You know, I know that it's like the most I know it's like the most popular thing ever, But I've actually never watched an episode of dragon ball Z.

Really, it's almost hard to believe. Like, even if you just watch random cartoons as.

A kid, it's the episode or two well, I kind of looked like a fat version of that one green guy. What's his name?

Oh, there's a few of those Pickolo, yeah, yeah, yeah, play yeah.

I guess I look like I look like a combination of him and Boo.

You have what a badass version?

Right?

So what did you say your name was? Again?

Paul?

Paul?

Paul? Would you want to talk about today?

So?

I guess the biggest thing that I wanted to talk about, just because I thought it was more interesting than my other day to day problems, was that, in a I kind of got myself into a situation where I'm part of like living a let's praise like a double life here. So I grew up conservative Christian, and most of my friends are conservative if they're not Christians.

The last.

Year or so been in the BDSM community where I live.

I gotta say, I don't know if you mentioned this already, but you said that you are a trucker in Alaska. Yeah, you are part of a BDSM community in Alaska, I am, Yeah, it's too cold for BDSM over there, it is.

Yeah, Well, I'm I'm currently in Washington for the winter for exactly that reason.

So I mean, what do you so there are clubs in a lab. There's like dungeons in Alaska where people go to tie each other up and fuck each other.

Yeah, pretty much. It's less of the big I think. I haven't been to any, but I think in bigger cities they just have open clubs all the time where you can just kind of go in and do the BDSM stuff. But here it's more of a public normal meetings just to meet and greet, and then people have private parties and stuff. Once you're at the point where you're trustworthy and everything and you find somebody you want to play with.

So you are.

Do you still identify as a conservative Christian?

Yeah?

Interesting?

Do do?

Does conservative Christian values and BDSM ship do that? Do they conflict?

Yeah?

They are pretty much on the opposite end of the spectrum for the most part. But I'm kind of a I can see both points of view, So depending on which group of people I'm with at any given time, I just kind of find myself agree with whatever.

All right, let's say you're with I would love to hear your perspective on BDSM sex from as a as a conservative Christian.

Okay, Well, I like that you can just kind of relax. H. So I am more often than not identify as a submissive. So that's kind of nice to let somebody else take control, I would say. And it's less there's not actually that much sex in the play I was doing. It's more like you know, beatings and sign people up and stuff like that.

Do you think that God doesn't want you to tie people up and spank them on the ass?

And yeah, I would say that to a point. Anyways, I think the biggest conflict is not so much the actual well, it's kind of the actual act now I think about it.

Why do you think God doesn't like that? What is it about it that bothers him?

I think that it's a gateway to more hedonistic behavior your day to day life, which, in my opinion, you know, it's good in doses, but I think it leads to a mindset where you're prioritizing your personal physical pleasures over other more important things in your life, to the point where, if where it becomes almost an addiction of like, I have to see feeling good all the time or I can't function.

Do you feel like you neglect important things in your life to feel good?

Yeah? I try not to do that. All the time. But that's definitely something I struggle with.

What's something recently that you feel like you neglected to get whipped.

While putting my one group of friends on hold thing because you know, the two don't really mesh. So I kind of distanced myself from the.

People I.

Love and care about a lot to do that.

M hm.

And I get another group of people tell me about in both groups.

Uh so the older friends there and it's not like a group of like super hardcore Christians were like, oh, you know, we all we we hate the other group, but just more of a core value type of thing. Most of them don't actually go to a church that kind of like me where they grew up Christian and now they're just conservatives other than one and that I have is basically the perfect Christian in my opinion.

What makes him the perfect Christian.

He just has the.

Ability to get along with people even if he doesn't agree with what they stand for. And he just has an amazing way of oh it's irme to describe, like he'll just put himself or put others before himself in all situations. But he's able to maintain a balance of like not just being a pushover at the same time, which is something I would like to be.

Able to do.

But I kind of go one way or thegether I moved here doing whatever anybody says, or I'm getting to an unhealthy mindset where I just get tired of being pushed around, and then I don't look out for anybody except myself, and then I kind of go back and forth between those two mindsets.

It's very interesting because nothing of what you've told me so far has really been anything about God. It's just about like personal human values.

Yeah, I would agree with that. I'm not a hard practicing Christian, I would say, or a hardcore Christian. I go to church occasionally, but it's I don't know, it's more about the community of people that I'm around.

Now, do your conservative Christian friends know about your BDSM life? Some of them do you? Okay, why do you feel like there's a conflict.

Well, the main conflict actually comes from the other end of things with the BDSM community because I'm not out as conservative. Because you know the kind of conflict being then I don't judge people for what they do. I just vote differently than them. But over there, at least in our community, any mention of uh, computer Christian or anything like that.

They don't like it at all.

They kind of gang up on people. You don't want, you don't want where everybody.

Yeah, you don't want your BDSM friends to know that that you voted for Trump?

Yeah exactly.

Well, huh, you're you're You're a peculiar little cookie.

Yeah.

I've been told that a few times.

So I mean, like, m tell me, okay, so I feel like I learned a little bit about your Christian friends. Tell me more about your BDSM friends.

So now XP But until recently, my girlfriend was actually one of the community leaders who hosts parties and events and meet and greets and stuff like that.

What happens.

We just had.

Different outlooks on what the future can bring. I guess we started as a It was a polyamorous relationship, so she already had a long term partner, and going into it, I didn't know if I'd like it or not doing the polyamory thing. Then it turned out that I didn't

What is it that draws you to the sort of alternative lifestyle polyamory BDSM and community.

That's fun and everybody you know, there's a lot of naked people, so that's always enjoyable, you know what.

I guess it doesn't have to really be deeper than that.

Yeah, that's you know, that's that's the main part of it, okay.

And what draws you to, uh, Donald Trump and the conservative stuff?

I think because being having more conservative values is what I want to focus on in my day to day life and just the direction that I think personally that you know, I don't have all the answers, but the direction I think personally that the values we should be focusing on in the direction the country should go. So I guess I kind of view that as like my you know, my blue collar day to day mindset, and then the BDSM stuff is like on the weekends to the side.

Now, what, uh, what do you what do you consider to be well, how would you define those values? Those those uh values that you would like to see more of?

Just more of a Oh no, I had all the answers to that until you've asked me that question, and now that I have to think about it, uh, I guess a lot some of it is Like financially, Uh I think the conservative lifestyle goes is makes more sense.

To me.

Financially.

Yeah, just.

Do you have?

Do you do you?

It's okay if you don't have an answer to this question, but.

Okay, well can I can I say?

Can I say something? Yeah, if you don't have an answer to this question, like maybe like I mean, I don't know, I don't know, I mean what what?

What is?

What is all of this stuff even coming from?

Is?

It's just like an identity that you've built that you haven't really taken a second to to reconsider or or think more deeply about.

Yeah, I would say that at least part of it, because you know, that's how I grew up. So it's a core part of my identity.

Okay, this core part of your identity. This is a genuine question. I'm not trying to look. Look, look, I'm not here to fucking what you know, tell anybody to do anything, but this core part of your identity does does it continue to serve you well in your life? I'm not saying you need to have the answer to that question immediately, but it's something to think about.

Yeah, I would say that it does in terms of.

It drives me.

It's one of the things that motivates me and drives me to keep going forward in the way that I want to live my life, in terms of looking to the future, in terms of where I want to be in like five or ten years career wise, and how I want to go about starting a family one day.

I suppose.

I mean, this is a funny thing because you're just talking about self improvement. You're just talking You're just talking about personal values. You're not even really talking about God or about politics or any of this stuff. You're really just talking about, like I said, personal values and self improvement.

Yeah, So why do you Because I don't want to to anybody off that's the scene. I don't know. I guess I don't want to talk about it because a lot of the time when I start talking about it, I get called a big eight or whatever mm hm, which I don't think you do, but you'll do. But uh, I guess that's part of my hesitation why I'm not really used to talking about it.

So I so, Okay. So then when I asked you these questions before, were you not answering it because you were afraid to talk about it or because you genuinely didn't have an answer?

A little bit of both, a little bit of not want I talk about, a little bit of brain fare.

Okay, Well again, I'll leave it at the question of whether or not these things continue to serve you and I only you can really answer that question, but it's worth thinking about, especially if you're entering all these different communities and and and universes and trying to find a universe that makes you feel happy to to exist in. You know what I'm saying A little bit, Yeah, did you storm the Capitol January sixth?

No? I did not.

Okay, Paul. Well let's see, Paul, is there anything else I should know about you or anything else you want to talk about in this scenario, in this in this in this conversation.

No, I guess not just the yeah yeah, A great show, Paul.

Paul, I want you to you know what, Paul, I I I want to challenge you. I actually think that you should start the first Christian BDSM club. I really do, I really, I really want to challenge you to think deeply about whether or not your values truly are as in conflict with one another as you think they are. Because look, if you found out that there was a Christian BDSM club, I mean, you'd be the first one in line in the morning. So there's others like you

Well when you do that, I'll be the first one on the door.

Uh, Paul's anything else you gonna say to the people of the computer.

Before we go?

Nope, other than just thanks for having me. If nothing else, is felt good to talk about it to somebody. You know, it's not really the problem I can talk about out loud to most people.

I take careful, I'll have a going you see your thinks Wow, it's perfect.

Man.

The the symbol for Christianity is a BDSM sex position getting nailed to a cross and whipped and fucked and jizzed on. It's an idea. It's an idea. Hey guys, it's Lyle here. I'm about to do some ad reads, but if you're a premium member of the podcast, you will not hear them. Premium members, or gek Legends, as I like to call them, get access to every episode

Hi? Who's this?

This is the Gecko guy from the internet.

Oh my god, Lyle, what up?

Man?

What's up?

Do with's your name?

My name is Devin.

How are you, Devin. I'm good. Have we ever spoken before?

We have? I got engaged at your Portland live show?

Oh fuck yeah, homie, what's dam Yeah dude, holy shit, I remember that.

Yeah.

My fiance son and I are just playing Fortnite. I'll put it on pause.

How are you doing?

Doing fantastic? Thank you? Yeah? I doing good.

How are you tell me more about that? Now? I'm trying to remember. This is at Mississippis videos is in Portland?

Yeah. Yeah, So we ended up going to the Mississippi Studios. It was funny because we actually had VIP tickets and we had no idea where to go because we were buying drinks, and like last second, I had it all planned out and I was like, I'm gonna text Lyle and ask if I can go up on stage and he texted me back and You're like what to do it? And then like it all hit and it was super real and I was like, oh God. And then I got up there and uh, you had a Jewish leather

No, I wouldn't I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have let him do that either.

I'll be real, he's actually invited. Man, he's a cool dude.

Wait really, Wait, that's so cool. By the way, I didn't say that to be mean to that guy. It was just a just trying to do so for context for them, for the context of people listen. I mean, I guess I'm not going to add any for the context what I'm about to say. But yeah, there was this dude in like all leather like BDSM gear who came up on stage to talk about converting to Judaism, which was the most random thing a guy dressed like

Yeah, So we actually started talking on Instagram and he's super cool and strangely he knows like a couple of my friends. I live further south, like near Eugene, sin Lones in Oregon, and he knows quite a few people that I know, and I'm like, oh wow, what a small world.

That's cool man, Oh goddamn yeah wow. So well, as I was curious about this because is your wife. Was she a fan of the show or was she like, why the fuck did you pick this gecko guy's live show to do? To do this at?

So it's actually really funny. I used to work at office depot and one of my associates always had his Spotify on and your podcast always popped up, and I was like, who the hell is this guy? And finally, like I quit the job and I reached out to him and I was like, Hey, there's this dude I'm looking for like new podcasts and he stresses a gecko and he's like therapy Gecko.

I was like, cool.

So I started listening to you, and I was working nights, and one day I had it open and she happened to listen to it too, like through my phone. Yeah, and she was like, wow, he's really funny. And then you started popping up on our algorithm and we just kind of got hooked.

Man.

We're like you're super great, You're very help people. Yeah, and like her mom listens now, and my mom was cool.

So so she's so she's your grandma. Listens that I all right, I'll say cunt less Nah, no she so so all right, so she so she both you guys are both into the pocket. All right. That's cool, man, that's cool. How's everything going is? How's how's being married? Is it exactly the same as before?

No?

Actually it's pretty awesome. Like I had started a new not really a new job, but like a new location, and when I was introducing myself to the team, I was like, hey, I'm married, instead of being like, yeah, I got this girlfriend back home. It is what it is, you know. It's so it kind of feels a little better, you know, a little more air of relief, but like, yeah, it's nice.

So did the leather guy try to convert you to Judaism? Like was he trying to get you to have a Jewish wedding?

No? No, but I have been I've been dabbling my fee. I've been kind of looking at Judaism and I'm like, huh, yeah, it's kind of.

Interesting, you know, Okay, what tell what a What's what's catching your interest?

Honestly, So, where I live there's a huge sense of community and I'm like, huh, that's something that's really cool compared to like all the different sects of like Christianity, you know, like just all these different runs of people that are like I'm Mormon or I'm this, I'm that, and it's like, no, we're just we're Jewish and we're hanging out. We're having really good times together and just keeping it real, and I'm like, huh, that's kind of interesting to me.

Yeah. I feel like growing up, I always felt like I, you know, like like Mormons and Christians, they were always trying to like get folks, but Jews, we we're not really out there. We're not knocking on doors, you know.

No, No, I grew up in a town full of Jehovah witnesses and most of them are on our doorstep every weekend.

Yeah.

That's uh. That that that's what. That's what in our culture we would call a whole thing anyway. All right, So, oh, you know what you texted me, Devin, and you this is why I called you. You texted me because you said you wanted to talk about Christmas versus Honikkah movies. What does that mean?

Yeah? Yeah, so I actually wanted to ask you what you think is the worst Christmas movie or special versus the worst Honka Honkah movie flash special? And I can't really think of any.

There's not that many that I was literally about to say. There's the rug Rats. I don't know what, dude, is Jewish from the rug Rats that made that happen. But yeah, there's the rug Rats. Well, the rug Rats have a Honical one and they also the Ruggrets did all the Jewish stuff because they got a Honica one and a Passover one.

Yeah yeah one rocks.

Yeah what else? Adam Sandler, I actually have never seen that movie, but I remember wanting to watch it as a kid and my mom wouldn't let me.

We watched it last night with our son, he's nine. I feel like it's okay, it's a great movie.

I don't know if I have a worst Christmas movie. I have a best one. I have my favorite one.

Let's hear it the Polar.

Express of course, no way, yeah, dude, yeah, yeah, a lot.

Apparently my grandma's favorite movie.

That's your favorite movie.

For Christmas movie? That's that's our favorite Christmas movie together. We watch it every year.

To you, why don't we get married?

Then, dude?

What up stood, we did do this? Do it? I like? You know, The Polar Express is a great movie because it really is like it's one night, it's uh, you know, this beautiful cozy town. There's like horror elements. The girl doesn't have her ticket, so the conductor takes her out to murder her. But you find out he doesn't murder her. He just gives her a hot chocolate. The hot chocolate in the movie. It looks so good. What else I mean,

The you know, you have all those really nice people just together on one train, and it's like, man, that's magic right there.

Of all the people I would be most disappointed to find out as a pedophile, it would definitely be the conductor of the Polar Express.

What about the kid with the glasses, the we're a little nazy kid. What if he grew up in was a pedophile? Pretty gross.

Him. I don't know. I don't care about him and his fictional life at all.

Hey man, I also had another question. Yeah, because I'm looking at something right now. What do you think about Arnold Schwarzenegger's Turbo Man. I don't know what that is, like jingle all the way, I don't know what that is. Really. So it's a movie about Arnold Schwartzenegger dressing up as like a Power Rangers superhero guy and saving his kid at a parade. It's got Simbat in it. He's the Postman that really wants to blow people up.

Yeah, I think this movie. I think I would probably rather watch a YouTube video about seven things you missed in the Kingdom Hearts three trailer then watch that.

I mean, that's fair.

I could see what's the best Hanika movie. There's no Honka. There's not a big market for Hanika movies. I don't think that it's why not, Well, because there's like two Jewish people.

That's fair. Well, I mean they made movies about like.

Uh, I mean, like hmmm, I'm not sure. I'm trying to think of like any good Hanka movies.

I know there's like a few specials, but.

I don't even think there's a few. I can't I can only name we so far, we've only named two Hanka media that's true.

Hmmm, we should make a push for that. Do you want to make a Honka movie?

Eh? That's the whole thing.

Well, it is the whole thing.

What else you could teach me?

Abu hankah?

You sound like you know than I do.

Man, Nah, dude, I'm only learning what I know from a dude up in Portland.

It wears leather, Yeah, that guy definitely knows. I think that guy probably has a crazy hankah that that leather guy. He probably lights all the candles of of the Menora and then uses it to burn the fuck out of his back, and like a crazy he probably drips Minora candlewax in his asshole.

Is that a thing?

Yeah? Probably, I know that.

Like Grinch porn is a thing.

What's grinch porn?

Oh?

Like Rule thirty four? Like porn of the grend No? Like no.

So my fiance used to work at the adult shop and they sell Grinch costumes, like the green Grinch guy, and people dress up as the green sch and do that stuff.

Well, I guess that's I guess that's not any weirder than having sex in a gecko costume.

That's fair. How many times have you done it? In the gecko costume.

What's your name again?

You don't have to tell me. My name is Devon, but you don't have to tell me Devin.

Whose kid is the kid? Is it a kid that you guys had together, or is it like a step child?

Uh? He is my step son? Oh?

Cool man?

What? Uh? Yeah?

How's so is it? Is it? Is he like full time with you guys? Or is he does he see ye like his his his his other dad? Or is it just you two raising him together?

Just us? Which is pretty cool?

It's pretty cool.

The yeah, yeah, uh, he definitely full time. Uh, he's full time here and so likes all the thing stuff we do.

And yeah, do you guys have a Christmas tree yet?

We do? I call, I can send you a picture of it.

What's your favorite ornament on the tree?

Hm hmm right now, so we had this, Like I'm looking at one of our tiny trees. We have a rainbow one. It's got a little like star on top, but on top of the start it's got a wizard hat and a beard. That one's probably my favorite right now.

That's pretty cool. Do you do you guys?

Hm?

Hm, Bro, that's so cool that you made friends with that with that leather guy and that he's gonna be at your wedding. I'm stuckd about that. Yeah, I love I love that kind of show. I love that kind of show. I'm like, dude, I actually I met, I've like met. I did a show in Japan and I met this couple a few shows later. I forget which

So you know that.

I think that's hell of cool. So I'm glad that you're friends with Does he have a name? I keep calling him Jewish leather guy. I feel like I should call him his name.

I don't remember. I just looked at his picture on Instagram. I'm like, yeah, I know you we.

Did on Instagram. Does he have a bunch of pictures of him? And like leather. Does he have a picture of himself with a leather KIPA?

I believe so. Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, yes, I think it was posted a couple of days ago. I'll have to look again. It's been a minute.

That's really fun.

We were shopping a couple like a few weeks after your show, and someone that we had also met in line to talk to you with worked at a local store and they were like, Hey, I know you, and I'm like, excuse you? Who are you? Nick?

You're a therapy get go.

We talked in line. I was like what what and she's like, yeah, man, you don't remember me? Like, I'm sorry, I don't really don't. I wanted to do a shout out. If she's listening her and her fiance or husband or boyfriend or whoever, I'm really sorry that I forgot who you were, all right.

I forget people all the time. And uh, you know it's fine. People get upset and then you just you know, you live your life. You go to a sandwich.

Hey, I had a question also another one. I'm sorry, what's up? How do you deal with like all these people that are just so upset.

All the time, Like upset at me.

No, No, just like upset in general. Like sometimes on your show you have a lot of happy people and you get like a lot of sad people that are just like existential and really rough, and I'm like, hey man, why you know, like, let's just chill, bro I don't know.

I've been thinking about that a lot lately because we've had a lot of like crazy calls like that, and dude, I don't know. I think I just like, at this point, I feel like I'm showing up to you know this, like you know, I'm showing up to work. I'm like doing the thing. I'm this is, this is what I do. This is the show. And sometimes it's it's a little bit, uh,

Hey, man, pretty cool, that's pretty noble, honestly, Like I sell coffee all day and my highlights are like besides coming home, just telling people like I hope this makes you feel better today, whereas like you're able to actually give them full on advice and the chat is awesome all the time. But thank you as well. I think that's cool. Thank you guys do a really cool thing and I'm glad to be a part of that community.

So, Devin, man, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

You know, I do stop making your drink order so complicated. We don't like it, all right, everyone.

I just like a little bit of almond milk. That's it. I just like almond milk.

Just a quarter spoon of almond milk.

Upon Hey, thank you for the kind words, Devin. It means a lot. And uh, mazle tove to you and your family. Take care of man.

Hey, happy Hanukah and Mary Christians.

Take care dude. I could do a we could do a Christmas I mean a Hanka movie. We could do a Hanka movie. I could do the How the Gex Stole Honakah.

I like that.

It's just me shoving candles up my ass. Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers

Yeah, a couple of weeks ago.

My uh, honestly, my grandpa like died, you know, you know, whatever happens.

Wait, hold on, you're this happened a couple of weeks ago.

Yeah, this Uh, he died on October twenty eighth.

You came for the first time a couple of weeks ago.

Listen, listen, listen. There's some back story to this.

Okay, there's backstory to this.

All right, I'm listening. I'm listening. If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium member at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com, or find the link in the episode description. That's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right, I have nothing else to say.

They goes on the line, thank you, but he's not really an expert.