Hey, what's your name?
My name is Snie.
All right, what's up? What's going on today? What's happening?
Oh shit, I didn't realize I was talking to you. This is so surreal. I wanted to talk to you about my crippling sasquatch addiction.
You have a crippling sax squatch addiction?
Yeah, like sasquatch, like Bigfoot?
What how did you become addicted to Bigfoot?
Well?
It became a very young thing. I was into finding Bigfoot and a lot of these cryptozoology of venture shows. So it is one of the more urban myths that I've come to realizations that could be real.
Okay, you know, I'm gonna hear you out on this. Why how do you think that it might be real?
Well, okay, I don't want to be one of those people. But look at the history. If we talk about real nat animals that are real.
Uh.
The through piss, which was found off of Africa in the eighteen nineties, it's a really it's a Dino swordfish. To be honest, we thought it w wasn't extinct, but then we recovered it in Africa in the eighteen nineties. The tape here, which was found in the nineteen twenties by South American adventurers. How's it going? And uh, the tape here was found by nineteen twenties discoverers, and now it's in modern history, right hold on.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. He's a big fun he's a giant fucking monster guy.
Yeah, how is he real?
I mean, have you went on into nature?
Yeah? Another hut strap?
Ye?
No, shot touched. There's some shit, there's yeah, sure, there's things going on. There's stuff, and there's random weird yes. By the way, you know what. Okay, let me say this, okay, because I'm with you on this. Yes, the world monsters are real. The world's filled with monsters on the bottom of the ocean, is filled with giant monsters with three heads and two and five eyes and crazy weird monster stuff.
But I feel like if there was like, okay, like a humanoid like hairy, bipedal creature thing, we would have seen it. By now. I think we would have seen it. Somebody would have seen it.
That's what.
That's what what that's what we're trying to do right now as a community. I'm not actively partaking right now, but following all the uh, following all the news articles and podcasts we're trying to discover and go on to ventures to pass and actually find. Maybe not, because in some states it's illegal to hunt this creature down sous.
To New York.
Wait, it's illegal to hunt Bigfoot in New York. It's illegal to shoot at him.
Yes, as silly as it may sound, it is illegal.
How come you're not joining people on these adventures to find Bigfoot?
Well, I work right now as a bartender, so I can't find a lot of time to go out. I recently, I was in your discord, not your discord, your twitch chat when I was saying a semibe and I did go spouting out there. I took a beautiful hike up to Emerald Lake and did the loudest Bigfoot call. I don't think anything hurt me though, but it was still really sweet to shot my Bigfoot representation there.
I like the idea that you're like doing your interview at this bar and you're like, I need my days freeze so I can hunt Bigfoot, So don't schedule me on those times.
Well, they don't need to know that part.
Okay, is this something you keep a secret from people that you're into bigfoot.
I'm pretty open about it. But if it's someone on the street and we talk a little bit, I may if they're close minded. It's a nice way to intrigue and open mindedness in people because it's a really hit or midst subject and all these skeptics can have their way of life. And I'm here with one side of the argument that I do believe these animals exist, flesh and blood animals. Then that's a whole different conversation about the different theories.
So let me ask you this. You said, and I don't know if you were just being tongue in cheek, but you said this was a crippling addiction. Is it true? Does it cripple you in some way? Is it true?
I mean I think people look at me like, oh, he knows all these talltales, so he could tell tall tales, you know. But it's like, I don't tell tall tales. I just know the truth and I don't. I'm a bigod at this point. But uh, yeah, what is the question? I'm sorry?
You done? All right?
Yeah, no, I'm just still in talk that I'm talking to you about this.
Well, so I asked you. You said that this was a crippling addiction. Do you and you I'm asking you in the ways in what you feel as though it cripples you.
Sorry?
Sorry?
Yeahright?
So yeah, on the Tall Tales, I could be telling like it could be a little out there the truth, but it's still the truth. That was some investigations. I don't mean to sound it's not my intense to sound cryptic, but it's.
I.
I didn't have a lot of friends growing up, so communication is now my biggest subject. So I just kind of keep it real and I'm based.
Not a Chad though.
Okay, you said, Oh did you say you keep it real and based but you're not a Chad?
Yeah? That is correct.
Well, let me ask you a question. Is big Foot of Chad? Do you think he's a Chad or is he a virgin?
Ah? I would like to see him as a Sigma mm, because he's very elusive. He doesn't want to be out there. He's a very Sigma creature.
I I are you. Do you consider yourself a Sigma?
Oh?
Of course, but I could have alpha moments, so I say Sigma alpha Mmm.
I liked I remember when I first heard the concept of I mean, it's like a meme now sigma grindset. But I remember when I first heard the concept of a sigma, I was like, oh, I actually like that. It's like like you think of like like beta and alpha or like this like spectrum or whatever. And when I heard the term sigma where it's like it's someone who's off the spectrum, like doing their own thing. You know,
they're like they decided to opt out. And I guess Bigfoot is a sigma he's opted out of I don't know if Bigfoot is a human order, if he's how sentient he is or whatever, but Bigfoot saw society for what it was cast himself out of it. Maybe he didn't cast himself out of it. Maybe he was, you know, ran out with pitchforks and torches because he looks crazy,
and so he's running around doing his own thing. And so I guess people like you who also identify sigma, I can see why it would be Uh, he would be an appealing figurehead to learn more about and to hunt, not like you know hunt, not to violently hunt, but to try to find are you are you looking for big Foot? Are you looking?
Are you?
Are you looking for Bigfoot? So that you can ask him questions and talk to him and learn from him.
No, that's I mean, if that's the case, it so happens along the way. But no, at this point, my main goal is and for the community, is you have this actually documented as a species. There is a lot to name for it, which I'll need to go into my pictures and find, because god damn, I'm not going to remember that borealice of the name. But there are actually documented by Jeff Meldrum, like a classification of it.
And if you go into Asia there's their ring Pain Deck, which is the National Geographic in two thousand and five put out of fifty thousand bounty that is still up. If you want to get rich quickly or not rich quickly and get a flop of your name.
Okay, let me ask you this fine, I really got to know this. Do you do you really believe in Bigfoot?
Of course? Yeah?
Really yeah.
I mean if someone came up to me and said, chop down every tree and then we will find a bigfoot and then it's a non bigfoot believers, uh say that the Sasquatch believers, I need to plan back every tree, I would say, No, that's too much work. I'm fine, but right now, in my belief, I know that exists.
Wait a minute, so I told that. So you said if someone said let's chop down every tree to find sasquatch, you would do that or you wouldn't do that.
I would not, And then to us tree planted. That's just too much work homey.
Okay, what I'm curious. I'm curiou us about you? What else do you do with your life and time? Oh?
God?
Uh?
Just got war Hammer forty k claiming with friends. If you don't know, it's like war Uh years of War and Halo combined. Uh Space marine style play Valerie. Uh work at a movie theater bartending position. Uh yeah, I am finishing up getting my a in business. Uh yeah, I'm happy to be alive and alert away alive.
Enthusiastics, you're killing it.
You're you're You're. I would call you an alpha honestly, Honestly, I think there's something. I think the most alpha thing you can do is be happy to be alive.
I'm glad I'm here with my dogs.
You alive, and you because at least could see you and you're real and I could talk to you.
You don't know that I'm real. You know I'm real as much as you know Bigfoot is real. Because well, yeah, okay, all right. I was gonna say, because you you have it, you can't see me right now.
But.
Uh, well did we talk, it counts you saw me more than Bigfoot.
Yeah.
Although I'm a little bit I think like the geck or therapy gecko, it is a bit of a uh you could classify it as a cryptid. I if I guess, I guess, what's your name again? I suppose that if therapy gecko is real, then why can't Bigfoot be real? Sure, yeah, I'll take that. I'll believe, I'll accept that as something, and I could do a bargin here.
But I want to make one last argument. If you look at the Lockness Monster, and like the body of water that's located, if it's originally supposed to first dated to be thirteen hundred, I'm gonna say that number just so to exaggerate. It's been a long time, but it's been a recorded sighting since then. If it was real, it need to reproduce, to eat, and have enough space for shelter and all that. You can all find that in that body. So if someone wants to have a Lockness versus Taskquat file.
Please DM me.
That's a nice call to action to end the song. Send a DM to this guy. If you want to talk about the Lockness Monster versus Bigfoot, like, well, if you want to talk about like who would win a fight, or just like talk about them, like just.
In general, just in general, like how the why sasquat is more likely to be real than lockness Monster?
And I'll walk out before hold on, hold on, I'm gonna fight you on that. If if the I would absolutely believe in the Lockness Monster over set over a Bigfoot because the Lockaness Monster, I mean, there are things like the Lockness Monster that are documented to exist. There's the sea is filled with fucked up, disgusting creatures that we know about that are probably are more disturbing than
the Lockness Monster. Honestly, the land is filled with the land is filled with less fucked up creatures than the sea, But the land is also filled with like crazy fucked up like a lion, a lion, and the fact the lion exists is a lion is much more I think cryptid than a sas squatch.
But well, we see more lions than we do sasquatch. We do we see I could go to a zoo and see a lion.
I hope you find them, I really do. I I hope, Well, actually I don't. I'm gonna say that. Okay, this will maybe said the sorady, but this will be the last thing I say to you, and I hope you understand what I mean by this. I hope you never find Bigfoot, only because only because it just seems like you're having so much fun looking for him.
I think that I don't want that I need it, and I don't want I need.
It that I don't want that fun to end for you. Schmoo shmi SmaI.
It's one of those three sne Is there anything else.
You want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Don't stop ever squatching and keep it very open minded people of the Internet. I appreciate you hearing me out, and thank you for listening to all these incredible human beings.
Gek God bless you, sir. Thank you very much for calling Moses. Moses was a guy I learned about Moses in Hebrews school. I forget what he did. I think he's like jew is he like Jewish Jesus. He didn't. Jesus did that whole thing where he died very violently. I don't know. I don't think Moses died violently. I think Moses, what did he do?
Do?
They don't know what Moses did. I think he just died, like at home or something. Hold on, Okay, my whole post call thought is going to be going on Google to find out how Moses died. So this is going in the podcast, and everyone give me one second. Here, I am in front of a computer right now. Okay, let's see here.
How did.
It's saying osamivan Lan? How did Moses die? According to the Bible? Okay, God commanded Moses to die on a mountain, and that's what he did. He died on a mountain, but he didn't come back. I think Jesus's whole thing was he died, he came back. Jesus was also Jewish. Okay, what all right? This was a bad post call thought, but we're keeping it in.
Hello, h Hello, lyle Hi.
What is your name?
My name is Frederick?
Frederick? What's up, dude? How are you? I'm hanging in there? What uh would you want to talk about today?
Sir? I guess.
I guess I would say I want to talk about maybe like purpose in life. I'm kind of feeling a little run down, I guess.
Mm hmm, Wow, what's running you down?
I guess just life itself. I feel like I've been It's kind of dumb to say I've been overworked because I'm barely a student and I rarely work. But uh, I don't know. I just it's very hard to motivate my motiv motivate myself to do stuff.
You know, what's your life like?
I go, I'm a student, I go to college. I'm an English major, and I also work at this It's kind of like a halfway home for kids. Most of them have trauma, and I'm kind of just like a counselor there, which I'm kind of just like with them every day.
That's cool. So what do you want to do with your with the time that you have from now until you die? Which we don't know how long that is. That could be a day, that could be seventy years. But for but in the well, let's assume how old are you. I'm twenty now, all right, okay, you might you might get you might get a good seventy years. I think by the time you're that it do you You sound like you eat?
Yeah, I don't want to.
I mean, I'm trying to die before like seventy, Like that's too old, kid me.
This is not my joke I heard. I went to the comedy seller when I heard this, and I really wish I could remember the name of the comedian. But he made a joke where where he was like, he was like the whole idea of like life extension sucks because you can only add years on to the end, you know, that's the bad part. When are they going to be able to add years onto the middle? I thought that was funny because it is true, like after like after seventy, I don't know how good it gets,
so I get to failure. It doesn't look you're right, Yeah, you're right, it doesn't look good, so I can't assume it feels good. But all right, let's say, I mean, your legs are gonna work for another fifty years. That's a long time. What do you want to do for that during that?
That's the point. That's the thing, though I don't I don't know. I feel like I feel like I have a lot of hobbies, but I don't really know how to make them something I can see myself doing for the rest of my life.
You know, what are the hobbies?
I used to bring it be a marine science major because I'm really into aquariums, and I used to work at like fish stores. But that's kind of like a dead end thing and it doesn't really pay a lot, and it's kind of like a waste. So I transferred to now English major, but it's also, you know, kind of seems like a dead end. And I don't know if I want to be a teacher. I've been like you if you're.
If the problem is that you're going into a major that doesn't pay a lot. I don't know if English is the best choice.
Oh for sure.
I'm just trying to do something that I like. I liked it in the beginning, but now it's like, I guess I grew tired of it.
You know, well, are you going? Are you taking on debt to be in school?
My parents are thankfully helping.
Okay, I got you, I got you, I got you. Yeah. No, If that's okay. If that's the case, go hog wild. Study the study fucking bugs or something. Study the stupidest thing you could possibly study. You know, if your mom and dad are paying for it, just go fucking you know who cares?
Yeah? What do you?
What do you like?
I like baking a lot. I've been baking a whole lot and cooking. But from what like I've seen and what i've seen, like I know is just dumb. But you know the you know the show The Bear, I've never seen what it is. Yeah, man, that show is so stressful, my god, and that just deters me like so much. It is so scary to be in the food industry. I feel like I'm not by.
You feel like you're not that You're not that wet.
Oh no, I'm not that good. Yeah, like my stuff good.
Yeah, you've barely done you're you've barely you know, done anything.
Yeah.
Of course you can't expect to be a master baker. That sounds very close to masturbator. But you can't expect to be a master baker. Uh, so soon, why don't you just bake for do you? I mean, I I'm I don't even know what I'm doing and I'm going insane. Do you sound depressed?
Oh man, I've been depressed. Yeah, yeah, I gotta see a new therapist. I lost my I didn't lose him, but I kind of stopped going to him.
Why did you stop going to him?
It was a new guy. I saw a previous therapist for like two years and I didn't really see any change in my life. So I saw someone new. But then I stopped going to his things, and I felt guilty, and then I just stopped going all together because I didn't want to like face that.
Well, your therapist is, they're not going to change your life. They're not gonna You can't do anything for you. I mean, they can help. You can talk to them and they'll help you arrange thoughts. But you, at the end of the day, you got to do stuff.
Yeah, I gotta I gotta just do something.
Yeah, you gotta do something. You gotta do something, and it is hard to do stuff. Do you live at home or do you live on a campus.
I live off campus, like in a house with my friends. Oh that's been really great.
Why don't you think, Yeah, bro, go do go?
I I.
Yeah. I was depressed when I was twenty in college living in a house with people off campus, and I just did I got out of it by doing stuff. I got into comedy, I got into putting on shows. And I was pretty happy when I was doing that, and pretty depressed when I Wasn't you just gotta do stuff. I think of anything. God damn, it started. You know what, you know, what do a bake sale? I don't want to hear any of you do a bake sale. What tell me about your bake sale?
Every Friday, I sell banana bread, pumpkin bread, lemon, blueberry bread, red velvet last week.
That's so awesome. How do you enjoy doing that?
I do? Yeah, But then like and then after, you know, after it's over, I'm just depressed.
Yeah and yeah, and.
Then I did like. I had a radio show. I play music. I'm really into music, and I didn't even want to sign up this year because I just I doesn't like, I don't know, I just don't feel like it's anything.
Oh my god. No, I felt the same. Yeah, I felt the same way I used to. I used to put on d I y comedy shows in our in our row home and every Friday, and that was really fun. And then like the other six days of the week, I just wanted to blow my fucking balls out. I don't know. I don't have any advice for you, because I mean, aside from doing shit, I don't have any advice for you on how to not be depressed because it's such a Oh yeah, I just.
Want it's nice talking. I enjoyed the podcast.
Thanks man. Thanks Sorry that sounded cold when I said it. Just now, I mean, okay, good. See this is my anxiety thinking that you that you hate me.
But I mean, how did you get through it?
I haven't. I'm pretty depressed a lot of the time.
Wow, I feel like, how did you get past like your twenties?
I mean, like, how did I get past my twenties? Well, here's the I guess. I guess if you don't die, you just keep going, you know what I mean. That's how I got through it. This is just the natural passage of time continued on, and that's how I got through it. I did think, I try, I did stuff. I just I guess that's what I'm trying to think. Back, I did stuff, and I tried to do stuff as much as possible. And when I was doing stuff, I was less depressed. And when I wasn't doing stuff, I
was more depressed. And I went on this yin yang of do stuff and not be depressed, followed by days, weeks, months, whatever it is of not doing stuff and being depressed, and you just keep doing that and then like until you die. Yeah, and that's and by the way, that's still what I'm doing now. It's still how it works. It hasn't changed, unfortunately. But I don't know, but I'm starting to. I think one thing I've been thinking about
it is I think you just accept it. I feel like I've been talking a lot about depression on this thing, so you can kind of accepted. You kind of accept that that's the the yin and the yang. But I don't know if that's a fucking good idea. I don't know if just accepting that I'm going to be depressed forever is a good idea is good? I don't think
that's a good idea. Maybe accepting that, like life is different, as difficult, and it has difficulties and as times where it's not as exciting and amazing all the time, maybe accepting that is a good idea.
Yeah, I mean that's true. I mean you can be like, oh, I'm depressed now, but maybe like on Friday, I can being happy because I got to look forward to Yeah.
I love that bake sale. Though, that's a cool idea. What's your magnum opus of the bake sale? What's your top?
Oh man, everyone loves the banana bread. Dude, it's annoying.
Honestly, it's an That's the most hilarious thing I've ever heard anyone say. It's annoying how much people love my banana bread, because, like I'm.
Trying to do other resids, Like I was so excited to present my red velvet marble pound cake. This is one of the most coolest things I've done. And I had to give away the last piece because like no one wanted it.
But no, the banana bread.
I had a guy come in and buy three loaves of them, Like you kidding?
That sounds fucking delicious. I would eat the funk out of as it's a Is it like coated and icing? Is there icing on the top of the red velvet cake?
Cream cheese, frosting with white chocolate little bits on the top?
Bro?
Where are these bake sales? I want one of those. I don't really like banana bread. I'm more of a red velvet guy. Where are these big sales?
They're at my school in Massachusetts? Oh, I would love. I'm sorry, I don't know. We're based in Rhode.
Island, right, No, I'm not based in Rhode Island. I'm in New York.
Oh.
I live in Well. My home is in New York Long Island.
Okay, can you send me a red velvet through the mail? No, don't do that. It's probably gonna get Yeah, it'll spoil. Yeah, all right, I'll just Can we do like I was watching SpongeBob. I was watching the episode where Blankton is eating a meat loaf that his wife has projected in front of him. Maybe we can do something like that. Maybe maybe we can do something like that. You can you can make a holographic red velvet cake for me to enjoy.
Dude, that'd be awesome. Can I be your Karen?
I'm not one hundred percent sure what I would be agreeing to if I said yes, So I'm going to abstain from the from answering that question for now. All right, what is your name against sir?
I'm Frederick.
Frederick Frederick is good talking to you. And also you're making me think. You're making me think about being when I was twenty in college and depressed and how did I get through it? I'll say this. I'll say this if I knew, if I knew I was still going to be depressed at twenty six, well I shouldn't say this, but it's the truth. I think if I knew I was going to be depressed at twenty six when I was twenty, i'd be like, fuck, but my but it's things have gotten a lot better. It's a different it's
different flavor. That's the thing. It's a different flavor. So I take that back. I take that back. I take that back because I don't want people get the wrong idea. I don't want people to think nothing everything that's dark mess, that's a dark message. I take that message back. I don't want people to think that nothing ever gets better, because that's not true. That's really genuinely not true. A lot, it's gotten significantly better in my life since I was
twenty A lot has changed. A lot has changed.
And change.
Yeah, don't be, don't be, don't be your problems and your things that your brain just gets different, it adapts, it gets different. So I don't have the such So it's I don't have the exact same depression for the exact same reasons and the exact same things at twenty six and I did when I was twenty Things might get better. I don't want to. I don't like toxic. I don't like saying that things are going to get better because I can't. I'm not uh an oracle, but
they could. I'll leave it at that. I like this bake sale idea. Do more bake sales. Just keep doing bakes, do the do you should put up a big banter for real. Honestly, if you did this, you would sell a lot. You should. You should make a little make a sign that said that says I'm trying not to kill myself. So I made this red velvet cake instead, and I bet you would. I bet you would sell a lot. I bet you would sell a lot if you had that little sign.
I would appeal greatly to these college students.
I think it would. I think it would because that's a great thing to do. I'm trying. I'm bake. I'm doing a bake sale to prevent me from succumbing to the darkness of reality. I think people would.
People would subscribe to that, my desperate attempt from suicide.
Yeah, I mean that's why I'm That's why anyone's but you would just there's something, honest, I think in that sign, because that's why everyone's fucking doing anything that they're doing. They just don't want to very vulnerable. Yeah, it's vulnerable. I think people would you would sell more? Uh banana bread? God, I hope not.
Why you know? Are you are you making?
Are you making?
Are you making money doing this?
Yeah?
I make like a couple me Like I make like three loaves because I only have one pan that uh is the right? Like I have like many loaves. I so many loaves and I only have one that makes them. So it's kind of hard. It takes a lot of time.
What do you do with the money that you get from your bake cell?
Sometimes I gotta like pay off the parking ticket that I get from parked there at the bake sale, so that's like eighty bucks.
But if hold on, I don't want to hold on? Stop? Oh sorry, why sorry the microphone got sucked up? Why where the fuck are you parking? Where you get? Okay, hold on, stop, I don't answer just yet. You park your car? Okay, held I'm gonna I'm gonna form a concise thought. How many times have you got in the parking ticket? For eighty dollars as a results of the space sale.
Maybe like a handful they like five fine.
Park somewhere else.
There's nowhere hose to park.
I need to pass.
I take up fucking Why do you? Okay, here's the thing. We've all been. We've all parks somewhere been like, we're probably fine, gone back to our cars. Eighty dollars parking ticket. I get it. But if you fucking do that five times, you'd sew on you.
I don't want to buy the pass. That's just I have the I'm not giving into this stupid ass college.
How much is the past four hundreds? Just take an uber there.
I got to bring all my.
Stuff put it in the Are you do you have friends that help you with this bake sale or are you completely alone? No?
I'm alone. I would have to like have them do stuff online, and like I don't want to burden them.
You could like hire your friends for the to help you out for the cost of all these parking tickets.
That is true.
You don't have to let me. I want you to know something, well, you know two things. You don't have to succumb to your negative thoughts and to the stories you tell yourself about your life and yourself and society, and you don't have just to come to that darkness. Okay, you don't, And you don't have to succumb to eighty dollars parking tickets. Fucking find somewhere else to park.
I will do that.
Maybe. Yeah, it's just so far to walk with all that stuff.
But I'll be talking to just how many more? I mean, what eighty times? What's eighty times five? It's more than four hundred, it's gotta be.
It's like five forty six, No, forty five, that's forty five.
Okay, so you've spent four hundred and fifty dollars avoiding buying a four hundred dollars parking pass.
It's a little ridiculous, I know, But it's more about the message comes.
The message you're sending is that you're bad with math and money.
That's why i'm English major.
What are you gonna do with the what? What's the plan with What are you gonna do when you graduate?
I don't know.
I already have to spend like another year here because I've done terrible and I just don't. I just don't do my assignments.
I don't know, okay, but you do the banks like like no, no, no, don't, don't whatever, you whatever? Negative hold on, what were you about to say?
No, I'm just so scared of what's after college.
Much of Can you work at a bakery?
Maybe maybe I can build a portfolio, But again, like then that, then I think of the bear, and I think of how stressful this stuff is.
The bear is a fucking car. The bear is a cartoon.
All right, wait, I think thinking a different show.
I know, I know, I'm started. I've started to do this thing only because it's kind of funny to me, where any work of fiction I just refer to as a cartoon. Oh okay, yeah, the bear isn't real and you're real? And how many motherfuckers in the first of all? Okay, as you know, we live in a stupid world with a lot of stupid not real jobs such as a podcaster and whatever. I don't know. People are like on the computer, like you're the job that you want is
one of the few real jobs. Like if you said that you wanted to be like a fucking skateboarding dolphin, it'd be like, yeah, it's not, it's not I mean, so you could do it. In this world. But that's you want a real job. The job you want has been around for centuries. Spaking fucking bread is a real job that you want. So it's not like the bear. It's just it's a real job. Go get your real job.
Yeah, I should. Then I wasted so much money being in college. That's fallacy. I guess that's your parents.
That's your hold on. That's hold on, that's your parents' money. If you were like if you were eight, if you were eighteen and you took out a loan, if you took out one of those fucking predatory college loans, I would feel bad for you. But I don't feel bad for your parents because your parents made the conscious decision. You didn't. I didn't say your parents were Like, your parents decided they wanted to waste a lot of their money to send you to college. And that's and that's
on the that's on them. You can't you can't take responsibility for that decision. That's on them.
H shit, I guess so, so you don't.
So if you if your your parents wasted a bunch of money for you to get an English degree, and then you but you don't and you don't have to define you. But you don't have to. You don't have to base your entire life off of that fact. Right. You can do whatever you want now, like go to co go to finish college. You know if your parents are paying for you to go finish college, hang out with your friends, bake stuff, and uh, think about how you can become a baker. It's not a crazy idea,
becoming a baker. A lot of people do it.
Y's not. I just gotta get better and can fully commit.
Stop watching the Bear. I don't even It's not not real. That's all.
You should watch.
I'm not gonna watch it. I don't watch cartoons.
You're just talking about spongeblug. I do.
I like SpongeBob. I watched SpongeBob a lot, but it's real. But that's yeah, But that's real. Frederick, you said.
Your name was.
Frederick.
I is there anything I don't want to I feel?
Uh?
I extend. I think I tried to end this phone called fifteen minutes ago, but I extended it because I I see your plight is your plight resonates with me. So I'm enjoying talking to you about it.
I'm glad we got this. Uh, connection going.
Is there any other aspect of any of this that you want to talk about before we go? Or you think we did it? I mean.
I think I think we're good. I mean, there's there's no much else to say besides I mean, if I say something else, it's kind of just like, well, that's just that's just life. So I'm glad. I'm glad we had this conversation.
Cool. I hope to one day I have a piece of your delicious red velvet cake. One day when you have a website and you shipped to all fifty states, I'll buy a slice of cake from you. I'll be reserving you on beautiful all right, take care, Frederick, thanks for calling.
Of course, that it going while goodbye.
I like that guy. His plight, His plight truly did resonate.
With me.
I don't know if I have anything to add, but I just what's echoing in my mind is this guy is like, I want to become a baker, but the bear shows that it's the bear is not real. Okay, go to Panera, not Panera, what's a bakery. Go to a bakery and just watch what people are doing. It's very boring. That's what most most of baking is just waiting. Right, I've never baked a single fucking thing in my entire life. I need you all to know that never baked a goddamn thing ever. But I'm gonna make a lot of
assumptions about it right now. I assume it's just waiting. You take a bunch of dough, you make it into fucking circles, you put it in a thing, you press some buttons, and you wait. That doesn't make for good TV. So I've never seen The Bear. I don't even know what it's about. I assume. I assume, like most TV shows, it's like, the guy's a baker, but he also like has sex with people, right, or like fights people, and so people in award winning TV shows tend to do.
They tend to have sex with people and fight people. So, having never seen, having never having never seen a single episode of The Bear, and having never baked anything in my life, I think that this guy can get a job as a baker, because if you go into a bakery and you look, there's no crazy music, there's no guy getting into fights, no one's having sex. They're just waiting.
They're just waiting around for doe to rise doesn't make for good TV, but it's real and I think it's achievable by our friend Frederick, and I hope he succeeds.
O friend Jay, Hello, yo, I what's up?
What's your name again?
You can call me Jay?
Jay? How can I? How can we? What shall we do with our brief time together connected in the infinite timeline of the universe?
Uh? Well, first, I want to say love your show, Thank you very much. I watch it all the time while I'm driving around because I texted you, but I know you weren't really like doing the test messages. I was just like, yeah, I wanted to talk about being a locksmith because I've been doing it for about seven or eight months now and it's been kind of interesting
to me because the people are hilarious. Like I feel like, first things first, if you ever get locked out of your house, your business, or your car, it's not my fault.
Like wait, wait, wait what and what sent these people? These people lock themselves out of their car and then blame you? How does that work?
It's the attitude for when I'm like, hey, this is how much it costs, and they're just like, ah, and that's too much. That's too much money. And I'm just like, well, you got to pay for a service. I don't know what you want me to do here?
How much does it cost to lock yourself out of your car?
So that's the funny part. So like my thing is, uh, the company I work for, they will set by some base prices. If you say you call us for a service, I'll be like, yeah, this is how much it cost if you ask me about it. If you don't ask, I might throw some wild number up there.
Wait so wait, hold on, so tell me. Okay, so you have a what do you mean? What do you mean? If they don't ask me about it, ask you about what?
So typically the I'll get sent like the uh information, It'll say. It would just be like, lyle located this place, here's the number, and you know the type of car whatever it may be. And then I'll call you and be like, hey, I'm your lost smith, just trying to confirm address. And then you'll be like, oh, yeah, I'm located here. And some people will be like how much will it cost? And some people won't say anything at all. So when you ask me, I'll be like, yeah, it's
gonna be between one hundred and one twenty five. But if you don't ask me and you live in a super rich area, I'm gonna say more.
I just that's that's fucking annoying, dude, Fuck you.
No.
My thing is, it's like we are is this commission based so I only get like a page out of everything.
So you know, sometimes I'm pretty sure that is that. There's gotta be some kind of like law about that or something.
I'm not sure.
I'm not. Honestly, Well, it's fucked up because you can't I mean, you can't say no, by the way, the thing, by the way, the whole thing about the it's in a rich neighborhood. It's like, well, how do you know somebody is not just like, uh, you know, it's their car, it's not their house. You know, how do you know somebody is fucking not just passing through?
Because for the most part, they'll be parking, like the driveway inside the garage. I'll check I ease to to confirm certain things, so it will usually be their house.
But because it's not the one, because here's the thing is, they can't say no, what are they gonna do? It's not what do they do? I guess I can call another locksmith.
And that that happens. Or sometimes you'll show up and there'll already be someone there, or you'll be competing, like trying to get there before someone else gets there, and they'll tell you like, oh yeah, I call the other places, so you might want to hurry up. There are other people on the way, So like I'm dang near competing for the money.
You know how much how much extra you throw on there? If people don't ask you, I just say like.
One to fifty or maybe one sixty, not like a whole bunch. Now, if you drive like a like a brand new BMW, I might say a little bit more because sometimes people are driving like really expensive cars and they can afford it, and a lot of people are like I'll say a price for a house or a car, and they'll be like, okay, cool, here's a tip while you're at it. It doesn't it's not like it doesn't
hinder them. It doesn't hurt them at all. But if I see like I've helped like taco bell workers or McDonald's worker, and just someone oh who obviously is a student, I'd be like just eighty bucks, ninety bucks, one hundred, like al thow people deal. I don't just try to take everything from everyone.
No, I think that's fucking annoying.
I don't believe you saying that.
I don't.
Uh No, that's a super annoying thing to do. Uh what was I going to say?
What?
So?
So I'm curious, So you can theoretically, like the locksmith I always thought was that's a super interesting thing because you can, theoretically if you wanted to break into any car correct.
Theoretically, like sure, what cars?
I guess what, I guess. It's like, I guess it's okay, so people lock their cars, right, But like if you were, if you were let's say, some form of career criminal, right, and you could learn the trade of locksmithing. And you can, theoretically, if you learn that trade, get into any house or car.
Almost because there I've certainly seen cars or houses or buildings that you're not getting in unless you're making a bunch of noise. So it's not like I can just be like boom, I'm in your house. I will tell people though, for the really really easy ones, I'm like, hey, you should get a car alarm, because that took five seconds.
Literally took five seconds. Beginning you have no alarm, and you'll have a car that's like I don't know how to hot wire any car, but like there are certain cars I'm pretty sure you could just literally look it up and boom, you've got a brand new car to go on the joy ride.
Or have you ever used your your locksmith? Have you ever used your locksmith skills for evil aside from marking up your services?
Not yet? Not yet.
I had to scary. That's a very scary answer to hear from you.
What is what is?
What is?
Not?
Yet?
Mean?
I mean I haven't done that yet, Like there's been no reason.
Why do you keep saying yet?
Because like what if there's a situation where I'm just like, say, for example, like someone does something awful and I'm just like they call me and they're like, dude, we got to get this guy or girl back, and I'm just like, all right, I'll open the car and you can throw a bunch of like I don't know shit in there, or you can get whatever what's stolen from you back, because that would still be considered bad in a way.
Dude, I do not want the lock I do not want the locksmith. Vigilante in my neighborhood so stupid. I'm so uh wow, I'm afraid that you have this because that's like power right there. That's a lot of you know that whatever. There's something to be said about political power and you know, social power or whatever, but the power of a locksmith, that's a powerful ability. You can get in anywhere you want physically, that's I.
Mean, I would say not exactly because every lock isn't pickable. Every lock shouldn't be pickable. So there's like home to are really good. Like first off, if you're ever wondering, in my opinion, the top lock the dead boat. That's what matters the most. That's the absolute of your protection right there. Also kind of like what door you have, but that's a whole other thing. But if you just
have your top lock locked, you're good. Like there's you can't always pick those and you're not going to get in without making all this noise. So and i mean in America, most people have a gun. So I'm just not gonna go let me be break into this house, you know, because I'm not I don't need to do that for one and I'm just not that type of guy. So it's just like it's not like a Ooh, I'm in your house. I'm in your friends right now, and you just don't know what types like it's not going
to be, you know. But there are times when I'm working on someone's house and I'll be I'll make a recommendation like, hey, you should probably get a better lock, or you should get like better framing or something, because there are sometimes where I'm like, hey, I would never live like that myself, so you should definitely get that
changed up. And I work a lot in the city of Chicago, so like I'm literally everywhere, and there's certain spaces I'm just like, you should add more protection because
this is not the best neighborhood. Like you definitely will see it where Like there's places where I go, like I'm out at a restaurant or someone's house where I'm just kind of looking and I will tell them, like, you know, this place would be really easy to break into, and they're like what, I'm just like, hey, I'm just letting you know.
Have you ever gotten your home broken into or your car broken into?
Not my car and not my own home. Personally, there was an a tent I would say in one of my first apartments. I had a friend like me and my roommates all went to work. We worked at the same place, so we all left and we had a friend we let stay there because they like lived an apartment above with their parents and they're just like, you know, they'll come hang out because sometimes they just need to get away. And she texted us it was like, hey, you know someone is like jiggling on the doors or
something like I keep hearing the door get turned. And so I think that was the only time there's a tempt in my own apartment. I can't really think of any time when I was younger that maybe someone has. Maybe I just don't remember.
Okay, I was thinking while you were talking. I was thinking more about the marking up thing, and you know, do whatever you're gonna do, but like, it will be kind of funny if you like, ever take your car to the auto mechanic and they like overcharge you and tell you that a bunch of things are wrong that aren't well, then here's.
What they do.
They do. They'll like you ever go there and yeah they do that, and there you go there and they're like, your air filter is dirty and it's gonna cost about eight thousand dollars for a new air filter and you're just sitting there like, well, this person, you have to you have to trust this person that they kind of know what they're talking about and I trying to fuck you over, but they kind of are. But you just
gotta take it. You just gotta fact like like you have, Like there's a premium that you pay to have people who know more about your things take care of them and you, And the premium you pay is the markup of them fucking you over.
I mean, it's funny you say that because I did get an oil change like a week or two ago on a slow day, Like sometimes I'll have a slow work day and I just kind of take care of errands because I'm out, and you know, they as they do, they'll be like, yeah, all the air filter needs to be changed, and that's something you can do on your own though, that's something you could just buy. Like the best way to not get screwed over by people is at least just knowing a little bit what you talk
about or what's going on. So like a lot of stuff is you can google it, YouTube it. So that's why I like an air filter. I'll change that myself. It's not that hard.
Like they're Final final question. Final question for you. Bet if you could break into anyone's house in the world, whose house would you want to break into?
If I could like break in anywhere, I think I would break into like somewhere like government secure, just to be like, see, you guys aren't that secure. I could get in this normal dude just got in here just because, and then I'd be like, you should upgrade to your security. Also I entered your fridge.
I think that would be bro I bet they. I wonder if I wonder what kind of snacks they have at the Pentagon?
I do think they have?
Do you think they have cheetahs at the Pentagon or do you think it's like pirates.
Booty or I think they have the best of the best for one. And I think they have like discontinued flavors and things like that, you know, all the classic stuff that we grew up with. Anything, okay?
Final final question? What is the name of your company so the people will know not to call you. I can't tell you that that's fair. Is there anything else you I say to the people of the computer before we go, Oh, thanks.
For having me on awesome. Talk to you guys, and just try to not get locked out, Like hold on to your keys and try not to rest so much. That's pretty much it.
To have a good night. I think I was mainly pissed off of that guy because I, uh lock myself out of my apartment at least once a week. I've had bro I've had time back when I lived in La I would I built up an unfortunate muscle memory of leaving my house shutting the door, and immediately before shutting the door, turning the little you know how you can turn the lock on the handle so that when you turn it while the door is open and then you shut it at the door locks. I just my
muscle memory. I did that every single time. But and so sometimes I would like leave my Uh i would be like in my underwear and I'm just like going outside for like a second just to like get a like breathe real air, and I lock it and I'm like, fuck, I'm in my underwear now, Or like sometimes I'll leave my phone in there and I'm just completely fucked, and uh,
it's just not equal. It's a bad situation. And I've had it multiple times where I'll lock myself out three times in a row, and at that point with like, I'll I've developed a strong rapport for the apartment building maintenance of folks who who help they get out, and uh no, by the third time, I'll give it. I'll give this guy this. By the third time I've locked myself out. The if the locksmith comes and he like, yeah, that'll be twenty thousand dollars, I would just be like, yeah,
that's that's how much it should cost. After the third time. After the third time, sure, hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at
therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes, They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members only streams, and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's members only bonus episode.
I wasted a lot of money to go meet an internet best friend a couple months ago, and man, I got there and sho just a fucking bitch.
Hull, Like, damn, what is there?
Do you?
Is there anything specific that made you think she was a bitch?
When I say mean like like everything's got to be a problem with everybody, God forbid you look at her the wrong way.
It was horrible.
I thought she was gonna beat me up into Uber, Like we ubered to like a club at one point, and we're in a state that I'm like not familiar with either, were like Uber do a club. She's drunk as hell. I'm like the most sober amongst her friends. She's like trying to get into fights with everybody corner and random girls in the bathroom, like.
Just crazy shit. I watched her cheet on her boyfriend, which.
Was like kind of the breaking point for me.
If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium member at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com, or find the link in the episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right, I have nothing else to say.
The repeat cant goes.
On the line taking your phone calls every night. The repeat can't goes doing to ride. He's teaching you.
To about and lit your life, but he's not ready.
An expert