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become a gek legend. Today. All right, let's get into the episode.
Hello, can you hear me?
Yeah? Who's this?
This is what's up? Just struggling with sobriety?
I guess struggling with sobriety?
Yeah?
Yeah, okay, how old are you?
I am twenty seven.
What what sobriety? What kind of sobriety?
Oh? Well, it was originally a opioid kind of thing, and then it evolved to a myth. And I don't know if I can say that on stream.
Very sorry if I can't, you can say whatever you want.
I appreciate that. Yeah, it was opioid originally. I sent it and I kind of beat that and it turned into speed and I'm about a year sober from everything now, and I guess I'm just kind of mentally hitting rock bottom, you know, kind of engaging in drug seeking behavior. I lost my insurance and I don't have any, but I did to talk to so here, I am. Do you.
When you were getting clean off of the drugs, did you have a counselor anybody who was helping you or was it just a sheer force of.
Well, at first, with Defend, I definitely went through a program, and after the program, I got a job at providing the insurance and I used the insurance from that to kind of continue to get counseling and stuff. But then I met some people I probably shouldn't have and I discovered Speed and it, you know, I kind of used speed as a crutch saying I can get off that. You know, and I kind of had a weird relationship for like four years, swapping between the two of those.
It's been pretty pretty crappy.
Okay, well, I'm going to tell you this. I don't know what you know about me or my show, but I'm not I've.
Seen the YouTube videos and yeah, you know you're not a.
I'm not a real therapist. I'm a I'm a I am a little I am a fourteen year old boy in a gecko costume. Yeah, no, if you I and I was. If you if if you accept that and understand that, well, I'm happy to talk to you about stuff.
Yeah, definitely. I'm just here to talk. Man. I don't I don't know if I'm gonna like relap. Like I said, I engaged in drugs behavior and then your notification popped up on my phone. Screw it. I'm gonna give it to the call. And I watched here and there, so here I am.
Okay, So how long, I mean, how long have you was? So you you're a year or sober from everything? You're not on You're not doing.
Anything, no nothing, now like maybe you know sweed here and there, but I don't really count that. I think that might help me more than anything. But yeah, about a year in some months now, probably a year in three months to be exact. That's of July of last year.
So yeah, when you were kicking your addiction, what was the most helpful thing for you?
Honestly? Honestly, Uh, it was, Uh it's weird, but YouTube uh and and you know, just just gunplog got into like Gundam and stuff like that, like weird stuff like that, and you know, I found new things to focus myself on. And you know, so I'm building a little robots and it was pretty fun, but that's kind of lost its luster now. And uh, like I said, I I'm you know, I'm a high school drop I didn't say this, but I'm a hospital drop out. I'm currently getting my education again,
So go me on that. But I think that might be part of the reason why I'm kind of stressed out a lot lately.
So you're starting, you're starting to get your education again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want the online Yeah, I found an online high school and it's it was fifteen hundred dollars, but you know, it's not a ged it's an hospital, Obama, so I can actually learn some things that I needed that I didn't back in high school before I dropped out. So it's they're good.
What's your what's your like? Uh? I guess, I guess ideal plan. Do you have a job that you want to try to do or a career you want to try to go into.
I do, actually, yeah, so well not like a career, but right now I have a plan. So my my mom and my girlfriend, they both work at a hospital and it pays very well, and I have it. I pretty much have the job now. I just have to get this just diploma out of the way so I can actually have, you know, so I can pass the screening,
you know, because they require diploma or gud. So that's my plan right now, and I really want that because it'll give me the kind of money I can have to not do you know, painting and yard work and you know the stressful ship. I don't like, you know.
Now, you with your you with your parents?
No, definitely not. I I moved out when I was like in nineteen and so I've been on my own since then. They my mom does help me out a lot, but I don't like living at home. I like the freedom. So I'm living with the roommate right now. And at my last job, I saved up enough money to kind of, you know it, situations like this where I lose my job and need to figure things out, you know, m M yeah, sorry, it's a little it's a whole can of beans. Man.
No, no, no, no. Well so in the past, uh, all right, how are you feeling.
At the moment, like ship? I want? Like I said, I was on Facebook earlier trying to I was doing I was engaging in drugs and behavior. I'm not gonna lie. I was trying to find something and all, and I was trying to find math whatever I can.
But wait, hold on, I gotta I gotta ask you how how how do you find meth on Facebook?
Like?
Are they just is there just a dude on Facebook place with like no man taking pictures of math and post.
Basically, when you do ship like that, you kind of meet a lot of people down the line, and they just kind of stick around on that friend's list because you forget about them when you're done, and I, you know, just remember some of those people and hit them up, and you know, yeah, oh.
Okay, I thought there was like some kind of like it was a created thing like.
Or something.
Yeah, like somebody you like, like selling a Renaissance style futon.
Actually no, no, I think it's people. I probably should have like deleted them blocked a long time ago. Honestly I didn't, and you know I probably will now that I'm actually on this weird Uh, sorry to call your stream weird. It's not weird.
No, it's very No, it's very it's very weird. What we're doing. That's very bizarre. It's very bizarre. There's no need to hide from that idea. Tell me about I mean, unless unless if it's unhelpful for you. If it's unhelpful for you, I don't want to do it. But like, tell me a little bit about the universe of that whole thing. Who are these guys? How do you not like they're fucking I'm not like the FBI. I don't neither names and addresses. But who are these guys? How
do you know them? Were they friends of yours?
I can kind of talk about how I even got into that kind of life. See, Yeah, that so basically I'm twenty seven now. I was living with some roommates spec and I was about twenty four to twenty three, and I, you know, I was I discovered opiates. That's the whole different story. But with the mess life right now. I was with some roommates and my one of my roommates caught me snorting you know, hydro's off of the bathroom sink, and they kicked me out, obviously. And funny enough,
these are my current roommates now. They forgave me and I still I live with them to this day because they're some of my best friends. And but before that, yeah, they kicked me out and I had nowhere to go. I didn't have a you know, a savedan's account at the time. So I went to live with a different friend of mine who lived in kind of the shadier part of town. And and when I got there, uh, yeah, first, you know, I kind of figured they were doing something
could get people over all the time. And they were, you know, doing stuff in his room all the time, you know, and I kind of walked in on it one day and they were like, and you know, I saw it. You know, I've seen breaking bad. I knew what the hell they were doing. Uh, And I was like,
can I try it? And they they they literally said you don't want any part of this or you don't want to do this, and I was like, yeah, I dude, that was you know, stupid and therefore that's how I got into That's how I got into it basically.
Mhmm. How many years ago did you say that was?
Uh? So, I'm twenty seven now, three or four years ago, I'd say this.
Is rough roughly so in the year do you know, I don't know if you've talked to any doctor as or therapist, but do you know if you did any any like permanent damage to your body?
Probably a little bit. Uh. I didn't smoke it. I was always a snorter for most things. But yeah, like I like this last year when I kind of got off of everything, I have found it hard to find open mune and things, and I used to like it. It is getting better, though. I will not lie like I don't good. I wasn't like you know, and I will say this, I didn't do it like every single
day all the time. I was more of like a a weekend warrior or whatever like I would kind of it was it was like I guess to say face you know, because you know, I didn't want to be like so many people on that it's all so you.
Say, so you say it's getting better in the past year, What if any what's been giving you dopamine? Even if it's a little.
Bit, uh video games, uh, alcohol, TV shows. I guess, uh, you know, just living life. And I have a girlfriend now. I've been with her for a year and been with her for a year and almost three months now, and she did help me out a lot, but I'm not gonna you know, it wasn't just her like, you know,
and she knows about my past and stuff. She's at work right now, so and I'd also don't want to put all that on her either, you know, obviously, because that's not her job to you know, consistently take care of if I'm wanting to relapse. And most of the time I kind of hide that. But yeah, no, I don't have access to insurance right now, so and I know I had some local stuff I can go to, and I did do that. I went to a local clinic that is income based, and honestly, they they don't
seem to care. I know that's kind of weird, but they don't have the same kind of I didn't repeat the same kind of care I got when I had insurance, you know.
Yeah, So yeah, how did you meet your girlfriend?
Met her at work? Actually, I got a job at the Mall of all Things after when I was getting sober and she was, yeah, was doing what It was just a pop culture retail store.
A pop culture retail store, like one of those like like like what do you sell likes and ship like that?
Yeah? Yeah, it was kind of like box lunch.
Yeah, okay, cool. Did you do a lot of people still go to malls, this.
One in particular, not really. We maybe made two grand to day, but during the holidays, yes, during Christmas, Tom we got a lot of people.
Okay, and all right, so things are going good with the with the girlfriend. Has she been helpful for you during this time?
Certainly she's She's never judged me or threatened any weird stuff, Like every time I've ever mentioned it in the past, she's always been buried down for me. And that's been an awesome experience because my eggs a whole other Canadians. She was actually pretty damn abusive towards me, and to the point that where she got arrested for it, which I know they don't get that often. Where you know, it's it's the you know, the other like normally it's
the dude's beaten girls. But now she hit me with the car, and the neighbors called the tops on her, and that was the whole Canadians And she she weaponized my addiction too. By anytime we got into a back argument, she would just like yes, she would you know, just call me an addict or her words, a junkie. I hate. I hate being called that because I don't consider myself a junkie at all. I've you know, yeah, sorry, man, this is new for me. I'm very sorry. What no, what?
Why do you do?
What do you feel? Sorry right now?
Because I'm kind of just filling some beans on people that are in my past, and what if they stumble upon this some day. I don't want them to just like message me I don't know where and be like, hey, did you talk to it about me?
Well let's talk about this.
Well, well I didn't think about that ship.
Given we can, we can, we can, we we can, we can blur your name, will blur your name?
Cool?
How do you, I mean, how do you feel talking about all this stuff to me into into people on the internet.
I have adrenaline right now, So that might seem kind of weird. It's definitely give me a gentlealine, but it kind of feels good to kind of like talk to someone I don't know and.
Just okay, Well, it's interesting because I'm as you're talking to me, I'm thinking about all this. I'm thinking about, like, I'm enjoying talking to you too, and I hope I am hoping that talking about this stuff is because I don't know. I'm thinking about like.
I'll read the chat letter too, and I hope the chats be supportive.
Yeah, I'm thinking about like I hope, I hope, but I hope that you talking about this is helpful for you.
Yeah. Yeah, I feel a lot better actually, Like I kind of came into this just I didn't think I would kind of like still every being I had, you know, and there is way more beans, but those are in the closet for now. I guess in the pantry, what is your.
Dream in life?
What?
What what's your ideal future looking like?
Uh, honestly, it's kind of simple. My dream at the moment is I would you know, I live in a pretty dense city right now, and I don't like that you know, I'm not a huge fan of living in THI cities. I like them. I love them. The other day, I was having lunch with my goal friends and I was like, let's go to a park. And I pulled up Google Maps and I just kind of noticed, Wow,
there's no green around here. I was, you know, I was looking around for the green areas you can see on the maps, you know, And I just I think I want to list somewhere in the country side somewhere and just kind of live the life away from society for the most part, and just kind of visit society when I when I need. I'd like to visit Japan too, That's all I list to. We were going to go, I was going to go. Actually I was going to go during COVID, but they shut it down, so I
spent all my favoring on drugs like a fool. So are you.
Are you anti? Are you? Are you anti living around other people? Do not like being in a place where there's a high volume of other folks?
Yeah, Like, I guess you could say anti, Like it's not like something I like the Spies. But the other day I gave a buddy a ride for where he lives out which is in the countryside, and it was a forty five minute drive out from where I live, and I stayed over there for the night and I really enjoyed that, Like just I saw some foxes, you know, on the way there, like just saw a deer, like I saw like just wildlife, and it felt cooler, like the nighttime felt a lot cooler than it does where
I live. I know it's simple stuff, but I really did notice it. And I don't know. Yeah, I guess I do. Yeah, I think I would like to. I guess I am anti city right now.
What do you feel like living out of the way would be helpful for this kind of drug seeking behavior that you're talking about.
Probably yeah, because I don't you know, it's not like I'm out here just chatting up every neighbor I have, Hey, man, you do drugs? Like I'm not doing that kind of thing. But yeah, it probably would because you know, I can get into other things that aren't just stuck within my you know, the confines of my wall, you know, my walls mm hm mm hmm. Yeah. But I've gotten into anime and stuff recently too, thanks to my girlfriend. So that's that's been helpful. You know, just got a Facebook message.
Hope that's not somebody I was about to say you I heard you get a notification. It's not for one of those guys, is it.
No, it was not that. I'm gonna I'm gonna put it on me right now. Sorry about that. Yeah, No, thanks for this. I'm sorry if I have made this a very awkward uh kind of peace for you.
No, you haven't made the awkward at all.
I am. I'm sure you had a stranger, you know.
Well, No, I'm thinking about I guess, I'm I'm thinking about I'm I'm I just I don't know. I'm hoping that it's helpful for you to No, definitely, I would rather you be talking to a gecko on the internet about all this than you know, uh, feverishly browsing the Facebook market place.
Yeah, definitely. Yeah. And I'm not. Yeah, just my my entire attention is actually on this, and you know what I speak. I'm gonna, I'm on the computer now. Actually I'm talking to you through my Google voice. I'm going to just go ahead and walk people to kind of alleviate that from you.
You know, I don't work at the drink like you know, I'm okay, hold on, I gotta know that. I gotta know this stuff. These guys like do they do they post like are they posting like drug dealer means like that where it's like spunel up with like a grill and he's got math and stuff.
No, it's something like that. It's honestly, it's going to your real It's people that you would expect, so I have to I've noticed when I got into this, it's it's people that you really don't It's nothing like there's no stereotypes. Really, it's like the guy stayed with you know, he's a hardworking guy. You know, works six hour shifts and I mean six hour days. Sorry, I'm nervous talking about people. I don't want to mention any names of accident.
It's people that you know that are just everyday people, you know, like middle class, you know, lower class, some even I've met a few higher class people. No, it's definitely the people you meet doing this stuff is not what you would expect like out of the movies or anything. And there's not like rotting teeth. I think that might be a late stage thing for people who just kind of like let it all go and I have to see, I have met people like that, and there's people you
can spot from them all the way. But most of the people I met around my age in the thirties and stuff, and deadly enough even in the early twenties, they're just people.
You know, let me ask you this, and this might be a can of worms.
I don't know, but I'm not son like you know.
Yeah, well, I'm curious about your perspective on this, because, you know, I just got back from Australia and a lot of people there were talking to me about, you know, various areas having having meth problems. And then of course in the States, you know, in California there's there's a very big myth and fentanyl problem. And again I'm dumb as ship. I'm a fourteen year old boy in a gecko costume. But there's a lot of I guess, there's
a lot of like what the fuck? And I'm I don't ever talk about like political things on here, but I'm always there is kind of a thing of like what what what's the solution overall to help cure this problem? And I'm curious if you have thoughts on that. As somebody who's who's been there.
I will say I do think that that NOLLA is a huge problem right now. And this is coming from a nobody who lives in the southern United States. So in just in the past two years, I have lost my stepfather to fitt and all, and I've lost one of my actually yeah, one of my best friends two years ago to that same thing. And I have my best friend's wife passed away from it. I have lost just not you know, I've lost three people I know
personally just in the past couple of years. And I have lost people I know have lost more in the connected kind of circle, you know. And it's always a different kind of scenario. For example, with my my stepfather, he was a marine uh in you know, in Afghanistan and I rag back and nineties nineties whatever that that happened the nineties and early two thousands, and when he got injured in the war and he got on pay medication as a disabled veteran, and you know, he got
hoo's on payments opioids and it grew from there. And you know, he was actually one of the first actually the first person who noticed what was wrong with me when I was kind of avoidant and coming around occasionally. He held me a lot, and it really sucks that he's gone, honestly, and I'm kind of pissed off at him sometimes that he even got on that. I don't really know the situation on how he got to that, but you know, in his opioids, man, it's the crisis.
And as for how I got onto it, it was basically the exting kind of road, you know, just hydros and what you know. It just kind of grows from there. And lately it's you know, you always see fitting all people that will do rug dealers, they'll just kind of like, hey, man, I got this in and it's general I don't you know. Nine times out of ten they'll try to offer that to you. I've kind of I do not mess with that anymore, though, I will say I I'd like to
have kicked that. I've even been in it. I've been in front of it a few times now after I've gotten sober, and I refuse, you know, just based on the losses I've had over it.
So you know, and by the way, man, I'm sorry to hear about your how about your stuff?
Father? Yeah, therapy helped me with that. One man he's in. I'd like to believe it's a better place. I don't not a religious guy, but he's not suffering, you know.
So again but like, you know, back back back to the original question, like do you do you have thoughts on like what what the general solution could be to these problems?
I think it might hold down to it might hold on the mental health right now, like and just I don't know, man, you know, I have thought about it, and not in the like kill your local fit and dealer kind of way, just in like an actual, like grand scheme of things. One of my best friends is actually on it right now. And you know, I've already lost another best friend and it's I don't know, like it's I had talked to him, I've poured my heart out, and you know, the family people his family and people
in his life, I've done the same thing. And it's not like they're ignoring that. It's not you know, a lot of people are like, well, they don't care what they do care, But it's just there is a sense of hopelessness going on with a lot of people who were kind of poor right now. You know, I don't know if that makes any sense, but they're the sense of hopefulness right now, hopelessness for a lot of people right now. And I really think that there there needs to be In my case, I wish I could go
and get help right now. But the help I can get right now is very cheaply, very cheap. It's very like.
You know, yeah, yeah, you were talking to you were talking about that.
Yeah, yeah, it's like it's like getting a free trial and then all right, all right, so they want to give me some medication. Okay, I can't afford that medication. I need to pay my gas, pay my rent, you know, and and I know, and the lucky I'm lucky because I do have a plan to get out of the situation I'm in. But I do know of a lot of people who don't have a way out of that. And you know, you get a drug charge, who's going
to really hire you? You know, you you get in a altercation, or you know, you steal something, you know people are going to see that, so it kind of creates a bad situation. And do you have any ideas? I'm curious about you too.
Honestly, med I'm so like, I have, no I have.
It's complex, man, Yeah, it's I I'm not.
I don't want to likes. I'm not if if you took one look at me, you'd be like, I don't know if this I don't know if this guy is the guy to solve the fentanyl crisis in America.
It's a bad one.
Yeah, I don't have no idea. I have no idea. It's a complicated issue. Are I'm not. I'm not even going to I'm not even going to.
I was.
I was curious about your thoughts as somebody who's been there and is close to the situation. Well, I'm not even going to try to come up with an opinion on that.
Yeah, that's fine, And I will say this. I do notice, like just based on people I know and going with them to their treatments and stuff. Maybe it's the money thing. Maybe the people who are hired to treat these issues aren't paid enough because there is a it might be a des these senses, desensitized thing like maybe sorry, I can't say it right, but some people might be desnthesized
to that ordeal. You know, like the people in charge of treatment, like the nurses or you know, things like that, they don't seem to care because obviously they they might expect to be that same person. Again, I don't know. It probably depends by state too, you.
Know, like, what's your what's your name again? Give me you give me a fake one so I call you something.
All right, let's go with Ace. Ace got that from One Piece. Actually, I've been watching that one lately.
Thanks for I just want to say thanks for talking to me about all this stuff. Yea again, I hope this conversation was was helpful for you. I hope it's helpful for the people listening to like have an idea of what dealing with a situation like this is. Like, I, yeah, I found the thing that you were talking about about how there is no stereotypical dealer. I thought that was very interesting.
Yeah, there's or user.
And I'm very I'm I'm I'm proud of you, happy that your your life seems to be on an upswing, going to school, getting nice girl friends. Are you are you? I'll ask you this before we go, and you can be honest with me. Are you optimistic about the direction that your life is going these days?
I think I'm glancing at chat now after the conversation. Yeah, I'm feeling a little bit better. Man a lot better. Actually, yeah, I kind of came into it just kind of like in the throws, and I feel like I'm kind of like just kind of yeah, I feel a lot better. Dude, I appreciate.
I mean, I meant, I meant like on a I met like on a macro. Not even I'm not even talking about this conversation. I'm just talking about in a in a general macro sense. You are you optimistic about where life is heading?
Yeah, that's for me. Yeah. You know, you've got the whole alien thing going on right now in America, so that's kind of exciting. So we hope it's not a distraction. But yeah, I'm feeling a lot better, like compared to me last year of the year before, or especially three years before. I am. I am. I'm very positive.
Actually awesome, Ace Ace, Ace, Ace, go out of delete. I don't know, go ahead and delete Facebook entirely. What the fuck do you need it for? And or do you play? I can't think of a good reason to be on Facebook at all.
You're right, it's it's successful. You're You're completely right. You know what? On this stream, I'm going to delete my Facebook actively really good. Yeah, I'm doing it right now, like.
And they make it hard too, They like make you have to click a whole bunch of boxes and confirm your phone number and all that. Ship. Yeah, delete facing book, go look at trees.
Go. I need tech support people, because what I can go? I don't know if that is now nowhere to go? Uh just typeing delete in the handlemar.
No, it's really county. They make it hard, they do.
All right, I promise you tonight it's just rapter this call. It's gonna happen. You know. I'll give you my word on that. I will not be findable. So if you look at Facebook Chat, you're not going to find me. It's going to be gone.
Okay, were well, okay, we'll cut that out. Well, thank you will beep it up. Ace man, Thank you again for talking to me about this. I'm glad to hear the life is going better. Is there anything else that you want to say to Yeah, about anything ever at all? Just life ever before we go, just.
Yeah, whoever's listening, just stay positive the best way you can. And if it takes reaching out to a get go on the internet, uh, just do that. It's better than the alternatives and whatever that whatever's going on in terms of a case.
Like mine, I'll go I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'll go ahead and say, I think you should talk to a real therapist about this.
No, man, but I definitely talking to a real therapist. Didn't talk to a counselor. I was being funny, but yeah, definitely. If you have resources or have people who can help you get resources, please do that because it will make a difference. And as as sad as it is, I guess a little help better than no help.
You know, Hey, thank you.
YouTube.
It's interesting talking to Ace. Fuck, dude, I don't know. I'm not a This is not a podcast where I pretend to know how to fix. This is not a podcast I pretend to know how to fix anyone's issues, let alone a giant, systematic one. But it was cool talking to Ace. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know. I like hearing a I like hearing about a good upward trajectory. I like stories like that. I like stories of people turning their lives around, right because
I've been I've been there before. Not with like you know, hardcore drugs or anything like that. But I think a lot I think a lot of people can relate to this idea of having been at one point or another in a time where your brain was just convinced that you were done and there was no perspective. Your brain was just like, you're done, your life is fucked up, You're hopelessly that's what he was talking about. He was talking about a lack of hope. You mentioned that. He said,
a lack of of of hope. I think there's I think that's the thing that a lot of people can can relate to. And you have enough of those over the course of your life, you realize that your your brain is playing some tricks on you, and so I I have a lot of a great amount of respect for people who can who have lived lives where they've been at that point several periods of time and yet found a way to prevail past it and have good relationships and careers and you know, dopamine things. I should
have asked him the games he was playing. I wish I had something funny to say. I don't have anything funny to say. I'm I'm always an I'm like after a heavy thing. I should say something funny. I don't always have something funny to say, can we put a like some cartoon wiley coyote noises over over me saying this right now like.
A like a you know that.
You don't actually you don't actually have to do that, but if you're listening, if you don't, you don't have to actually do that. But if you're listening, just imagine that they were there. Thanks for calling Ace.
All from Kelly.
Hello, Hello, what's up Kelly? How you doing?
I'm great? How are you?
I'm okay, I'm feeling pretty good. I I've noticed, I've I've talked about this before, but I've noticed I feel a lot better when I'm present. And that's that's that's my happiness barometer. Am I actually present in what I'm doing?
And am I actually talking to Lyle?
Yeah? I feel very present right now. I feel present to talking to you, so right. No, yeah, you don't have any You've done nothing as far as I'm concerned to a podist for what's what's up?
Kelly?
I'm just.
I am also present. I am here. I was actually getting ready for bed and I saw you were streaming and I was like, holy shit, you know, I might as well try.
To get in bang bang have we ever spoken before?
No, we haven't, but I've been listening to you to the podcast. I'm a mail carrier, so im walking all day by myself, you know, doing the devil's work, delivering bills and shit. So and I just listened to you.
How long have you been doing that?
For? Ten years?
Years?
God?
Yeah, that's yeah, long time.
Yeah, it's it is a long time. It isn't It doesn't feel that long, but yeah, it's been a fucking minute.
Man, tell us the ins and outs of the mail.
Oh my gosh. You know what, I'm going to tell you something that happened to me today. So I'm at I'm at one of my boxes, and I'm I drive a mail truck or a mail van. Actually it's like a really big it's called a pro Master. It has the uh United Day's Postal Service stickers and emblems all over it. I'm in a full uniform. This guy drives up to me and he's like, you're a mail carrier. I said, huh. He said, do you deliver the mail? And I'm like yes, and I kind of laughed. He
was dead serious. I thought he was joking. And I get this shit all the time. He's like, well, I'm just I'm trying to deliver this whatever he's trying to deliver. And I'm like, yeah, I'm a male carrier, like I can take whatever outgoing mail you want. And he's like, okay, I just didn't know. I'm like, obviously I'm delivering mail. Like what do I look like? I just out here for fun?
Hm.
So he wasn't sure that you whether or not you were a male carrier.
Yeah, I guess not. I thought he was joking.
Was he How old was he?
He was probably older, like sixties, seventies.
Maybe, Okay. You know, you know, this kind of reminds me of of of a thing that I think about a lot, and I may I don't know if this is a good I don't know if this is a good analogy, and you tell me if it's not.
But okay, okay, right heah uh.
Some times I'll call a store and they'll pick up and I'll say, are you guys open? Okay? You know what? You know where I'm getting at? And I'll say are you guys open? And they'll they'll respond like I'm the biggest fucking idiot they've ever met, because yeah, of course they're open. That's what they always say. They're like yeah, because they answered, but A, I'm just confirming and B it's like what am I supposed to do? Just hang up immediately, right?
You know?
No, that is very true.
So this guy, he just wanted to confirm that you were a male.
Yeah, it was just just like it. And I even repeated it to him to see if like he understood. How like kind of dumb he sounded, asking me if I was a male person with I had mail in my hand, I had a uniform on. I just walk out of my mail truck and he was like, are you a male carrier?
And I thought, what, okay, So tell me what's the what's the worst part of delivering mail?
Uh? The worst part hm hmm, Well, I would have to I would have to say, definitely doing it in the winter time. I'm in Ohio, so I have winter. I have no I can deal with the cold, the snow. Not a fan of I love the summer. I love the heat. H but snow yeah, not a fan. And then obviously the dumb questions of if I have a male carrier, now do you do you?
Is it true that you have to run away from dogs and stuff?
It is.
That is very, very true. I've had to definitely spray some dogs from time to time, but it's also like sad just spray dogs because.
I love dogs, you've had to spray them?
Oh yeah, because we carry dog spray.
What is dog spray? I've never heard of that.
It's kind of like pepper spray, but it's for dogs. I guess I'm not sure if there's much of a difference, but we call it dogspray, and it's.
Like you're pepper spraying dogs.
Yeah. So like if a dog, if there's such a loose dog and it's like approaching you, you know, aggressively, you know, barking, you know, foaming at the mouth, and you feel in danger. We have the spray that you're supposed to carry on you and you can just spray them and it's supposed to, you know, deter them from biting you and attacking you.
How many in your tenure career, how many dogs have you pepper sprayed?
Only?
Like only three?
But I can think of okay, you know that's pretty good. I mean what has like what okay, how far does the situation have to escalate before you I.
Can't think of one that's come come to my mind is when i'm you know, like uh, when like a carrier,
you know, you're walking through people's yards. And there was when I was on this one specific route I had, uh this dog actually happened to jump the fence and it was after I'd already passed its house, but it was coming right at me and i'd have you know, it's barking, and I just happened to turn around and I had enough time to actually get my spray out because it was actually biting my bag, my my, you know, postal bag, and so I had time to spray it
and then it you know, kind of whimpered away and went back to you know, its house or yard or whatnot. So yeah, that's just kind of what happens. I mean, it is effective.
Do the owners get mad at you for spraying the dogs?
So I guess it's really like it depends on who it is doing the spraying. So I so I actually the next day went up to those people's house and knocked on their door and kind of let them know the situation and was kind of like, you know, I'm sorry I had to spray your dog, but this is what you know he did blah blah blah. And actually that particular time, they tried blaming it on me and saying that I walked up to their dogs, which was
I mean, a blatant lie. But you know, you just you just try to, you know, be the best person you can and tell the truth. But sometimes people just don't like to hear the truth. They think they're you're all fine and dandy.
What about the other two times?
So one of the other times was I was kind of in a more rougher neighborhood and this was kind of like.
I guess what I would call a rope a rogue.
Dog, and it had no owner, and it was just walking the streets kind of you know, while as I was delivering mail, and it just got too close to me. And I was actually fairly new at that time. That was kind of at the beginning of my coastal career, and I just was really really nervous and it got too close and it was barking and it was a bigger dog, and I just, you know, how to do what I had to do.
Now, Okay, So you know how like like if you're like a police officer, you have to like get pepper sprayed yeah, do you have to get pepper sprayed?
Oh my gosh, No, that would be hilarious though, because there's a lot of people that I would love to see that happen too, you'd like to work with?
Yeah?
Why? Why?
Why are there people you work with that you want to see get pepper spray?
Because I work with some crazy people, idiot people. I don't know if the postal service is wild?
Why don't you know that makes What is it that makes these people crazy?
I don't know, it's just like their personalities and their way of thinking. Maybe it's just because there's such a uh. I mean there's people that still are at the post office that are like eighty years old that haven't retired yet, and I'm thirty, and then there's as young as eighteen years old, So there's so many like age gaps and so such a crazy.
Would you say that they like? Well, what what exactly?
Like?
Like, do you have any examples of things that people have said or done that you you feel is uh makes you want to pepper spray them?
I can't think of like a specific situation, but it's just more of like a uh, It's just like something that happens like day to day, like it's just like a random you know, someone says something just completely idiotic, like the like the person I dealt with today asking me for I'm a mail carrier.
Just like that.
I don't I don't know if I don't know if that guy, I don't know. If I agree with you about that guy deserving to give pepper sprayed, I have to I'll draw my personal line there.
I guess that just happened too many times to me where I'm just like, really.
Now, Kelly, do you do you you personally? Do you think you'll be in the uh in the force for I mean this guy who's eighty right and he's been doing it probably since he was twenty. What do you do you see yourself winding up like that dude? Or do you have something else you want?
I can I definitely can see myself maybe holding out that long. But it's actually, uh kind of funny. I was literally just talking to my mom about getting into the dog grooming business.
Oh here, you're trying to You're definitely trying to make up for a few sprayed dogs.
I p't here, I guess so maybe yeah, I told you I feel bad when you spray a dog you feel so bad. I mean, I'm a dog owner. I would never want my dog to be sprayed, but I do understand that, you know, there are times where it just happens.
But but yeah, well, Kelly, I think about it like that.
But no, I am.
I'm trying to think of how many shampooed dogs equate to like erase, like, Okay, so if you sprayed three dogs, you probably have to shampoo at least twenty make for the spray do I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say twenty shampooed dogs is worth three pepper sprayed dogs. And I don't. And I'm that just came up with that on the fly. That's open to interpretation. I'm open to hearing alternative viewpoints on that, but that's just what I came up with.
So I think, I think twenty is a good number. But tonight, like, is my dog? Is she included in that number?
I'm gonna go ahead and say no, unless if you pepper sprays her.
No, I've never pepper swayed my dog. I could never.
Kelly, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I just want to say today might be a bad day, but tomorrow as a new one, so just look forward to tomorrow. Have a good night, Kelly, you also thank you.
Here's the thing, though, and people always say that. People say that a lot. They say today is maybe a bad day, but tomorrow is a new one. But here's the thing. Tomorrow could all Tomorrow could also be bad. Tomorrow could tomorrow. Tomorrow could be worse, Tomorrow could be worse but then the day after that could be even worse than tomorrow. Two days from now could be double as bad as today, but then the day after it
could be like a little bit better. Then the day after that even worse than two days before that day, and then the day after that is Sunday. I lost track of days. Watch watch out for your dogs if they go near the male people.
Paul from Kylie, Hello, why is this the therapy?
Yeah?
Who is this?
This is Kylie?
I was Kylie asked if you were going to come to Richmond earlier.
Oh yeah, dude, I don't know. I don't know when, but I'm coming in September.
September.
That'll be awesome. You go to twenty one enough clubs, don't you though? Uh?
Yes, yeah, Well I actually haven't. I have no idea. I think, I think I want to I want to say I want to say yes, I want to say it's twenty one or not.
Okay, Well, then i'll see you in like three years.
How old are you?
I'm eighteen?
Okay, no, I am no, I I get you. Man, When I was fucking eighteen nineteen twenty, there were all kinds of shows I wanted to go to that I could not go to because I was a little boy. Well, anyway, we're on the phone right now, Kylie's what's up with you? Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?
Kind of I wanted to talk to you about my looming problem of giving myself too much to do and never feeling like I'm being productive enough.
Okay, what are you giving yourself so much to do?
Well, I'm becoming a sophomore in college in a couple of weeks, and I took on like four jobs on campus, and I'm also a STEM major. So I'm kind of freaking out because I had to go back to college in two weeks and then I will lose all my social life after that.
Well, I mean, I don't I don't have any advice for you. When I was in college, I was a film major and my roommate was a by some he was a biology major, and so he hated me because I had nothing to do ever because I was studying a not real thing and he had everything to do always because he was studying a real thing. I don't I have no. I get well because when I when I was in college, I tried really hard to not have to do anything, to avoid specifically the issue that you have.
Yeah, no, I get that.
See my parents they always warn me because my dad he was like that, he went to college and kind of have fun, and then he always tells me, oh, you better be very serious in college. You better work hard and do all this stuff, so you can not work hardon older.
What I mean what so you're what what stem thing are you in?
Uh?
Something microbiology or chemistry. I'm just trying to figure it out.
Oh my god, that sounds that sounds that sounds awful.
It's really it's really bad.
You know, it's a bummer. Is that sounds so awful? But I know that someone has to do it. I don't know why. I couldn't explain why chemistry is important, but like I know it is obviously right.
I mean, yeah, it's it's very important. Honestly, I don't know what I would do. I'm just trying to learn it right now, but I'd love to be involved with it. It's very cool.
Do you have like a vision for the future of a thing you want to do?
I kind of wanted to go into what are treatment analysis.
Across the world?
You know that sounds important?
Good time?
Good time?
So what are these things that you're doing outside of just the school that is given?
So I'm not going to say the college that I go to, but it's a really small one here in Virginia.
And I.
Became part of you know you ever like heard about the student assemblies that are at colleges and on campuses and stuff.
I got involved in the events.
Yeah, yeah, I got involved in one last year and then I decided to do it again this year. So now I'm the vice president of that, which means I'm going to run all the events on campus trying to get things going on student engagement. And then I also became the I started a club because I was bored. It's a it's a journalism club where we write about
this stuff going on. So I gotta lead that. And then I also, stupid me, decided to apply for this position in the Board of Visitors of the campus, which I would be the student representative of that, and I have to work with the president of the college and then the other college that works with us. And then I also became a residential assistant for the dormitories, so I.
Have to work in Jesus Christ.
Yeah, I know it's a it's a problem.
Well no, well, okay, I'm out of all those Out of all those things, do you do you have a genuine, actual desire? Which ones do you have a real genuine passion and desire to do versus like just doing them because you signed up?
I mean the R one I really wanted to do because they give you free room and board, so I would get out of the house, which sounds really nice. There to visitors one's really nice because I get to meet a lot of the higher ups to the colleges and meet some really cool, amazing people. I get to talk to representatives in Virginia and people on boards and committees and okay, yeah, those two are probably the most important.
Okay, the journal is something do you do? You were you is that something you were just doing because you were bored or something you actively still enjoy Uh?
I say, I think I still enjoy it. Another thing with it is I started working with the communications boards leader guy, this doucebag, and he was he told me he was gonna make me one of his interns and if I just led the club, he would say me like two hundred dollars a week just to lead the club and write the news letter form. So I'd say, that's very important of my food.
And what was the first thing? Some the student events thing?
Oh yeah, yeah, the.
The vice president of the student Assembly or whatever.
I'm gonna go ahead and say that because you forgot about that one. It's the least important to you.
Yeah, alright, No, I kind of did that one of the fight, all right, didn't.
Want the other personal one, all right, so you could ditch that?
Yeah, yeah, no for sure.
All right. So all right, so we're down one. Kind. I'm actually really I'm I'm I'm actually pretty fucking terrible with advice, but I'm thinking about this as I'm talking to you. All Right, ditch the one that you don't have a good explanation for, and then every single one
of the other ones. In the times in which you're stressing out, I would say, remember the reasons that you just gave as to why you're in all of those things, and hopefully those reasons, if not dispelling your stress, well at least make it feel as though your stress is worth something.
That's amazing.
I like that.
Yeah, I was really worried.
I've been worrying about it all summer, trying to figure out how I'm gonna deal with all of it. Because you know, I've grown up and as it taught that you you never work en up. So even though I'm doing all these things, I still feel like I'm not working as hard as I should be.
And I'm trying okay, But but when you say it's hard with but the word should okay. See you see here's the thing you I'm I have the lost track of all the things that you're doing, but you gave
me at least at least three of them. I think you gave me like well thought out reasons as to why you're doing them that are more significant than I should this vague nonsense thing that doesn't really make that comes from nowhere and it's nothing that whole I should think so next time you feel like you're stressed out or like you should be doing something forget about the should and think about the actual reasons behind the things that you're doing and let those guide to your behavior
instead of the should. Because it's good. It's good that we talked about this, because do you have you have actual reasons that you gave me. You said that you can meet this person, you do this thing because you like this, This gives you free this so you can save money to do this. Those are all actual, tangible, good reasons. Then the then the one that you thought about where it was like another reasons for spite. That's
a terrible reason. You get rid of that one. And then and then these these actual you've actual things to guide you further. That makes sense.
Yeah, it does makes sense.
Thank you.
Good good. I'm glad that made sense because a lot of the times I don't really know what I'm doing. Why am I doing this? Okay now, okay, this now is my turn.
You're helping out people, don't worry about.
It, I hope. So I'm why do I do this?
I don't know?
Man, I could sell T shirts.
Sometimes I have gone out and met so many people That's something I've always wanted to do, is to meet tons of people and learn tons of things, but have the.
Guts to do it.
You'll get to I think you'll get to do that. Well, actually, I don't know, because you're studying a real you're going into like chemistry. Mm hmm, I don't know. I don't know anything about that. I don't know if you can meet people doing chemistry.
Well, you guys do a lot of things with that, you know. And there are some microbiologists that work with the delegate and people in the house and do all types work with them. So science is everywhere. And then climate change. My chemistry professor, she's an active studying that and teaches a course on it. That could be important.
I've said this on the podcast like ten times, but I always feel like with climate change, you know, I don't know about you, but I'm I'm ready.
No, I feel the exact same way. Oh my god.
You know, you know, it's a natural process of the way the world works. By the way, buyers are completely normal. The world goes through cycles, and you know, we're just an organism, human race. We're just an organism, plain and simple. And if we're not benefiting the Earth's or it's just going to get rid of us, and that's fine because we're not doing a good job. I'll say that much.
Well, I'm going to make sure to smoke a ton of weed and eat a lot of McDonald's before we're all dead. Kylie, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
No, I think I think I said too much already.
Good luck Carly, uh, God bless you and Jesus Christ to.
M by, good night bye.
Never beacon goes on the line making your phone calls every night, thecon goes to unside. Was teaching you about your life blood?
He's not friendly.
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