Hello, Hey, is this ivy?
Yeah?
How are you doing? Ivy?
Oh my gosh, is this wile?
Yes?
It is? Oh that's so crazy.
Hi are you?
I'm good man? How are you?
I'm good. I've got COVID, so this is kind of cheering me up.
I'm glad to hear that. How is your COVID experience going are you? Is it a mild thing or is it a a serious.
It's pretty serious. I have a high viral load and it's just not been a fun experience for me.
So, well, what else is going on with you? Ivy? It says here, Well, I why don't you tell me? I Sometimes I get sick of doing that. It says here a thing, and I just want to hear it from the person.
Sure. So I thought this would be kind of like slighthearted and fun to talk about because I can laugh at it. I have a like a fantasy of like attraction to giant men and the question like I've told a few people about that that are really close to me, and they're always like, oh, so like seven foot and I'm talking about like two hundred feet.
Hmm, So like like an actual like giant like Jack and the Beanstalk, type character Godzilla vibes. So tell me, would it be so like being the Damsel from King Kong? Would be like your absolute dream?
Oh yeah, yeah, for sure.
Interesting. So what I'm curious with this What is the closest you can get to that? Is it like just a seven foot tall guy?
Well, so my boyfriend. So I'm five foot three and I'm only like one, and my boyfriend is six foot three and he's two forty. They're two fifty. So with our relationship, you already kind of have like a significant high difference. And it's weird because I'm not like I see like really tall guys and they're usually really skinny, So I'm not attracted to that. So it's like you're either like because I like, I like big guys, like not just like gigantic, but like also like kind of bigger, you.
Know, like like like heavier, you know, guys who like are a little overweight.
Not overweight. I really like the strong dad bods.
M yeah, Like it's so, what is attractive? What is attractive to you about a two hundred foot tall man?
Just I guess it's just like the extreme power imbalance that exists between the like myself and the giant Like it's like, I don't know, it's it's it's very hot that like it's for some reason, there's something about me that's valuable to this like godly person, like.
You know, interesting, Like like, so the idea that this guy is two hundred foot tall, he's a giant, he is like you know, to to you to him, you're basically like the size of an ant. And yet yeah, he still cherishes you as if you were his.
Yeah.
Interesting. So it's it's it's not just the it's not so this is not just like the physical thing. It's also the the implications around it. The godlike stature of this two hundred foot tall guy.
Is also it's also definitely like the physical stuff like just being like very like helpless and small, you know.
Interesting, So can I can I ask? And you know, we don't have to get into this territory unless if you want to. But how would one even like how would a normal sized human even have like a sexual relationship with the two hundred foot tall guy? How did they even work?
Well?
Obviously, like sex is out of the question, like normal penetrative sex, but like how explicit can I get how E.
Supposed to do you want me to as explicit as he wants?
Okay, So a lot of the because there's a few like forums that I'm a part of, because it's a small community of people that are into you know, giant men and tiny women. But a lot of the tropes I see are like a dude using the chick as like a masturbation aid, like putting her up against his dick and like.
Rubbing one out, you know, like wait, so so so when you say, like all right, so, like he has you in the palm of his hand and then he starts like jacking off. Wouldn't that kill you?
Probably?
But okay, so I guess because it's the fantasy, you can like you know, shift it whatever you want. And most of the time in the scenario is the tiny women are kind of like very indestructible, you know, like they can take a lot because I'm not into like the hard stuff where like the woman like gets eaten or like dies horribly, you know.
Mm hmmmm hmm h What do you like? Like I would think like like the guy would like lay down, you'd have to find you have to find like a fucking football field or something where the guy could like lay down and you could kind of climb his dick like it was like a mountain, like using the veins as like grip points and shit.
Yeah.
Well, alternatively, there's like the much more feasible option, if you could call it that, where the woman is just tiny and the man is like regular sized.
Oh so okay, so you right, Okay, So that's an interesting idea. How would you feel like your boyfriend, for example, how would you feel if you got shrunk down to a tiny size so to you, he is a giant guy? Or is it not? This is that essentially the same thing?
Yeah, I would.
I would love it, like as long as I'm like, you know, if I'm like two inches tall and he's just normal sized, that'd be amazing. Or alternatively, I'm normal sized and he's gigantic.
Tell me more about these forms. What's going on in these forms?
Well, it's it's really small, like most of the community, so the fetish is called macrophilia. Most of the community is into like giant tesses and that's just not like like large men and small females are so underrepresented. But the forums are just like stories like smart and that kind of stuff.
So is it frustrating? To you that you have this fantasy that is physically impossible to play out.
Well there so obviously like you can't really play it out that much. But there are things like my boyfriend and I that because my boyfriend knows about it and he I wouldn't say that he's like super into it, but he he definitely like tries it out for me.
So like one thing is, uh, a few months ago, we went to the Red Fair and I found these like fairy ears, and so I put them on and he thought it was like really hot that I looked like like a fairy, and so he like we like did like role play kind of to where like I was a fairy and he like captured me or something.
Do you find Shrek attractive?
No?
No, no, because when I'm imagine I'm imagining, like when you're talking about this like giant guy, I'm imagining like a really tall Shrek.
No, just like no monsters or anything, just like a normal like guy, but he's just like ginormous.
Have you made friends on these forums?
Like?
What what do you talk about with the other people on these forms who are into giant people?
I don't really talk to them because I don't like I don't want to get too involved with them. I'm just kind of like a like a stalker on there, Like I just read the stuff and I don't interact.
So you mentioned your boyfriend and that he knows about it. How does he feel about this whole thing? I mean, I feel like you being five to three and him being six ' three. That's like the that's pretty that's the closest you can kind of get to what you're going for in reality.
Yeah, so we are.
We have like a.
Dominant submissive dynamic, and so to us it's kind of like a natural progression to go from, which might sound like a like a crazy to a lot of people, but to me and him, it's kind of like just an exaggeration of that power. He doesn't like seek it on his own, but occasionally he'll be like, hey, hey, put on the fairy ears and oh my god, it's it's so ridiculous to actually like talk about this with somebody.
Yeah, that was so that was gonna be. My next question is you know, you've kind of been very like bashful about all this throughout the call. Is this something that you are like embarrassed about or ashamed of or don't you know, talk to a lot of people about.
Yeah. Well, I'm I'm a little bit so because of like this barrier of anonymity, I feel like a little bit more comfortable talking about it. It's a lot harder to get it out of me, like in person. And I guess it doesn't help because the first person I ever told, uh, told about it was my first boyfriend and he was very like emotionally abusive, and he would use it against me and call me like a fucking like.
Freaking weirdo and nobody would love me, you know, shit like that.
So it's like, so I I am a little bit hesitant to bring it up, you know.
Yeah, well listen, I'm I'm happy for you that you found a new person who seems like they're they're they're more willing to lean into it with you and not use it against you.
Yeah. I really appreciated that about him.
Ivy, Is there anything else about this whole thing that you feel like you want to share now that you are in a place where you're comfortable getting it off your chest.
I just hope that you know people, because it's something that I've repressed for so long and I'm just now coming to accept it as part of me. So if there's like other people that kind of have those feelings and just like feel embarrassed or I guess any kink for that matter, as long as it's not you know,
harmful to anyone. She I mean sorry, people should just you know, embrace it and kind of explore, because I one thing I do when I was kind of like on this journey of discovering why I'm into it, I would just like kind of think about why am I into this and will it affect me long term? So I guess what I'm just trying to say is embraced like who you are, and there are communities out there for everything. Just be safe with those.
Thank you for calling. I appreciate it. Yeah, have a good night, you too, O. Man, Ivy really looked out with the six to three boyfriend in that scenario. I do wonder what it is like to have a deep sexual fantasy for something that is not compatible with reality,
such as a two hundred foot person. You know, I mean listen, one of these days, you know you're gonna be able to you know, Ivy's gonna be able to hop on VR with some kind of like you know, and have some kind of virtual experience where she can have sex with a two hundred foot guy. And you know what would be tragic is if that happened and then she was like, oh, this actually isn't as great as I thought it would be. I feel like that's that's the thing with a lot of fantasies, right, and
to spit on here. But but is the idea that it's just out of reach? Is that what keeps it compelling? Almost such that if if there did exist two hundred foot men and she did finally have an experience with them, it would almost ruin the fantasy that it becomes reality. Anyway, Thanks you, thank you, thank you Ivy for sharing. Glad that we could create a form where people are down to talk about having sex with two hundred foot giants. Hello, Hey, is this Devon?
It is?
What's going on with you? Devon?
Not much, just showing at home right now drinking?
How many drinks, Steve?
Are we.
Three mixers and three beers?
Three mixed drinks and three beers. Okay, so you're you're like, you're probably pretty drunk right now.
Eh, got a nice little bu's going.
Okay, we can work with you, We can work with a buzz, Devin, it says you're that you've been having crazy dreams that are predicting the future.
Yes, I'm just gonna I'm gonna say, like the ones that I remember the most, there was one where it was like gym time, and I had a dream, like probably like three months before the event happened, that this kid threw a basketball at my nuts and I was in the same like everything was in the same scenario as my dream, and I told myself, I'm like, oh fuck, I gotta prepare myself. This guy's gonna throw the ball
at my nuts. So I like covered my crotch and he fucking threw the ball right at my crotch, and I because my dream, it saved my nuts that day.
Interesting, that's one.
That's one dream that's pretty crazy, and then there's another. This one was crazy because it was actually with someone. I was with my friend. We're up north duck hunting and we drove past this gas station. I had it in a dream that there was this blue pick or a green pickup truck that crashed into the gas station. And I told my buddy that I'm like, dude, I had a dream.
I was like exactly.
I've never been there before. I'm like, I had a dream a green pickup truck crashing this gas station. He's like, he's like, yeah, that's kind of weird. And uh So, anyways, we get done duck hunting and his mom I'm called, called his phone and she's like, are you guys okay or like yeah, we're just driving back and she's like, oh, there's a huge accident at the gas station. A truck
ran into it, and we drove past. There's a bunch of ambulances and shit, and there's a green pickup and my buddy just looked at me and he's like, dude, that's fucking freaky. And I'm like, yeah, I don't I don't even know what to say about it. Just I've had I've had a multiple dreams like that, and it's just it's kind of freaky.
Interesting. Interesting. Yeah. Are those are those the two the two scenarios in which it's come true? Or has this happened to you many times? Many times?
There's another one where I was taking tests and I wrote some answers on my hand, which you know you probably shouldn't do, but I didn't study, so I was being lazy, and I wrote my answers on my hand, and in the dream I got caught because the teacher left, but then he said he had to go talk to someone. And but in my dream he came back for some reason and he caught me like looking at my hand.
So then it was the same like scene that was in my dream, and I was like, oh fuck, I shouldn't look at my hand, but I didn't look at my hand. And then also he walked back in just as I put my hand away, and I was like, there's a bunch of stuff like that.
It's really weird.
And then I also have a lot of fucked up dreams too.
Do the fucked up dreams ever come true? Uh?
Gladly No, They're they're full of very gore and brutal stuff.
Okay, so I guess it's very good that they're not coming true. So since these two of them's so, since these these events have been happening where you've been dreaming things and they've been coming true, has has this put you on edge at all? Because I mean, look, you're saying you're having these gory dreams about fucked up shit happening.
Do you ever have a dream of something fucked up happening, and you're like, oh shit, well, these other two dreams came true, is there a chance that this one might come true?
Oh?
Bless you?
Yeah, I have I get pretty bad anxiety because like sometimes they don't always come true, and I'll be like I'll get the deja voo and then I'll just be like super on edge, like because some of them will be like the kind of gory stuff or like the brutal stuff where like someone gets murdered, and then I'll just be like freaking the fuck. Oh, I'll be like is this gonna actually happen? And then luckily it doesn't,
and yeah, it's just crazy, but yeah. And then I looked it up because like the glory dreams, like because I talked to a couple of my friends and they're like, they're like, yeah, that's kind of fucked up, because like apparently none of my other friends have like super gory
and like detailed dreams that they remember. And I looked it up and it was like supposedly like nightmare syndrome and what it said it is like it comes from trauma, but I've never really had any trauma, so I don't know where that comes from.
Have you looked up dreams that predict real life events?
I'm not. I probably should do that because it's a lot of them. No, probably, I don't know. There's there's a good amount that have come true where it's kind of it ful weird.
Yeah, these are definitely you know, this is this is interesting because these are definitely freaky scenarios.
You know, the kids, the truck one really was over the time.
Yeah, the truck one was crazy. The I mean, the football thing also pretty crazy. It's interesting because I'm I'm I'm skeptical, right, I'm not a you know, I'm not a spirit guy. I'm not everything happens for a reason. Guy. Uh, I don't. I'm not really like deterministic in my thoughts about things happening in the universe. But you know, if what you tell me is true, then I don't know, man, maybe it is just a couple of very freaky coincidences.
I mean, what do you think. Do you think that you are genuinely predicting the future here or these coincidences?
I think a little bit. Maybe it's I don't know if like our minds can like because like, I don't know, this is just from like Facebook and shit, but like our our brain only works like thirty percent or ten percent of what it actually does and like limitally it's yeah, maybe it's just like every so and so it just like can predict the future or like foreshadow because like biologically our bodies are designed to like survive. I don't know, it's just crazy shit.
Well, thanks for sharing all this. Man, does this ever like give you We kind of touched on this a little bit, but I mean, day to day, does it give you anxiety to think that you might have a dream that might come true of some fucking weird thing.
A little bit like and then like some of the some of the dreams I have, like I'll be awake and I'll like it's weird because like I go on like third person and like this is gonna sound really fucked up. But like I was shopping with my older brother and then all of a sudden, like I just like I saw like someone just like walk up to him and start stabbing him, and I just like and then all of a sudden, like I came to and then like noise came back, and then I was just
like that didn't happen. It was just like some like there's a couple of times where it's happened when I'm awake.
Yeah, m hm, So this thing of of of you in third person watching you or watching you watch your brother get stabbed. This happened while you were awake.
Yeah, we're shopping somewhere that this was a few years ago. And like I think it was with a pencil too, just like some random person was just starting like stabbing him and I'm just like and I couldn't do anything. I was just like frozen, and I was like watching It is weird.
It sounds like now we're in the territory where both of us are trying to be science y in ways that we have no business being. But do you have like a narcolepsy or something like that.
Uh, I'm not sure that'd be crazy.
That would be crazy. Go to a guy, I mean, or you know whatever. Go to a party, go to a thing, go to someone who does sleep stuff, see what's going on. I think it'd be worth it if you're if you're passing out in the middle of the day, you're thinking about your brother getting stead Sorry, what did you said?
Yeah, I talked to one of my friends and she she uh, suggested that.
I do that.
Yeah, I think it's a good idea therapist or something, But yeah, I just might do that. Devin, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I just want to say, if you have someone that you love, if it's something they want to do, whether it's like something silly, just like and you don't want to do it, just kind of do it to like because they want to do it, you know. And then just like, even if it's something like stupid like go dancing in the rain or go get ice creaming you don't want to, just do it, just kind of be there for them, you know, because you never know what someone's going through.
And then.
If I could just give a shout out to my buddy I and he.
Loves your.
Podcast too, and he's a big fan. We've been following you since he started this so.
Much.
Thank you man, Thank you to Ian. Those are nice words. I like that, go with the flow, even if you don't feel like it, because you care about the person wanting ice cream. It's nice. Oh yeah, yeah, thank you for calling Devon.
Oh yeah, I hope you have a great rest of your night, Bud.
You too.
Bye.
That was interesting from devon these dreams. Like I said, I, you know, we get spiritually this is I wouldn't put this into the spiritual category, but it's definitely freaky and crap.
What was that?
What was his name?
What?
I fuck? I don't know names of people, but whatever. And the caller, he definitely did. He wasn't leaning into the idea. That's what I thought it was interesting about this call is this caller was not leaning into the idea that he has some kind of psychic He is not convinced of his own abilities. He's in the midst
of wrestling with them, which I find very fascinating. And I hope that he does go to a sleep person thing and figure out what's going on, because it sounds like there's something going on and I would be curious to know what that is.
Yellow.
Hello, is this Tray?
Yeah?
What's up?
Tray?
So basically, man, I'm going to go from like a ten thousand people school to a three hundred people school, and you know, I got kicked out. I made some bad decisions and basically this has been one of the most roughest years of my life because I'm losing credits because I'm going from a big campus to a small campus and they don't have as many classes, as many electives, you know, and my parents are really they're really mad at me. You know, they weren't. They weren't mad at
me at the start. You know, they told me everyone makes mistakes. But now I'm losing like a lot of things that I had going for me, and I don't know, it's just just kind of I don't know. I live in a I live in a really unpopulated place in Georgia, and my parents, you know, I'm a very smart kid, and this is going to be my senior year, so I don't know.
All right, So you're eighteen years old, a senior in high school.
And you.
We're kicked out of where you were going in place to a smaller class. How recently were you kicked out?
I was kicked out. Let me think it had to be April April because it was my birthday, So April. It was two weeks before my birthday, Okay.
And you said that a lot of the things you had going for you have been ruined by this. What were some of those things? Okay?
So I'm actually very good encoding. I want to pursue cyber technology, making scripts and writing code, and I have. I was on the way to get at least like five credits into different technology classes. And the school I'm going to doesn't have any electives at all, so I can't continue that unless I do I go to another school and there's not one near me.
So well literally move.
Okay, So that so let's get into that. Really really is that? Is that the main one or are there others? When it comes to things that you had going for you? That's the main one, is the coding thing. Okay, So what is it that you wanted to do with coding exactly? You said you wanted to go into you know, iation technology. I'm sorry if if you could repeat that.
I actually enjoy I actually enjoy writing games. That was one of the things I like doing. I know that's kind of like cliche, but it actually is fun to make video games, like hand old video games. I enjoy that a lot.
Well, Trey, you know, uh, here's some great news for you, man, is that you know, there are there are a few careers out there that really require you to go to school. And luckily you can learn how to code on fucking YouTube and you don't need to be in any sort of formal school to know how to do it.
I just get. I just get. So the whole reason I'm just calling you, I just I've made my parents so disappointed in me and the surrounding family, and I'm kind of just at the point where, you know, if I don't figure out something to show on paper to them, that they're not going to be proud of me at all. I wake up every day and see failure, you know what I mean. It's just they they don't even look at me the same. And I know that's kind of that sounds like bad painting, but it kind of is
because they don't. They don't show the same kind of hierarchy to me as they did before. And it's just like what did they get? You know what I mean?
Mm hmmm hm.
You know, I have a couple of things that I'm feeling, is well, Okay, when we first started this, you said to me, you said to me, you said, I'm a smart guy. So clearly you have, you know, outside of what your parents think of you at this very moment, you have and maybe it fluctuates day to day, but it's there, this rock of self esteem and rock of knowledge that you are a capable human being, or else you wouldn't have said that little thing that you know that you're smart. Yeah, so that's there.
I it's just you know, every year at the awards ceremonies, I've taken them things. I've always been a straight a student. And I don't want to tell. I don't want to say what I got kicked off for. What was pretty bad, but I made a dumb decision. I shouldn't have done what I did. And they they were cool with it for about I'd say two weeks. They were cool with me getting kicked out, and then it came to what school are you gonna do to? What are you going to do with your life? Are you? Are you serious
right now? You get yourself kicked out? Are you kidding me? It's just the things like that, Like my dad he was, he was so chill with me when they when they were in the meeting room with our headmaster or whatever, and he just, you know, he was like, we're going to get through this, We're gonna we're gonna be better. And then after that it just went out the roof, you know what I mean. I'm sorry to get kind of emotionally because like I'm.
Sorry, no yeah, sorry, that big deal. No no, no no, uh makes you happy to talk to you about this stuff. So your mom and your dad, uh, do they both have similar feelings? Uh?
Uh?
Towards that situation.
My mom was more comforting in the beginning, and then you know she because I'm I. I've always been her babe, you know, her little everything. And then all of a sudden, my dad he wants to come in, and I feel like maybe it is leaning more towards my dad because he's always thought high way of me and he's always been proud of me, and then all of a sudden he.
Just takes it away.
M hm hm.
These uh. I do you think my mom is I think she's of leading on the side of I think my mom is kind of leading on the side of she's she's got like she believes in me still, but I don't think my dad really does. And I think my dad really thinks I'm a failure and everything. I don't know, what do you.
Tell me this? So try tell me this that your parents proudness in you, what do you believe it is based on?
I'd have to say with my mom, she's just proud of me in general, of me doing you know, anything, anything, And my dad, I think it would have to be a materialistic value. You know, he's only proud of me when I do something that is beneficial to my life or beneficial to him as a person that may him look good. I don't think it was ever necessarily him being proud of something that made me benefit. I think he's selfish. That's that's basically the root of it. I
think my dad's selfish. He's a he's like a bread winner. And I just I I've thought about dropping out because I know that there is careers like that. But at the same time, I know it's just going to make it ten times worse for me because he's just going to think ten times more that I'm a failure. But at the same time, I just want to shove it in his face that I've graduated and I've done what I knew I could because I am smart, I make
good grades. I just made a dumb decision. And my dumb decision had nothing to do with academics, you know, it was just a dumb It was just a dumb thing.
You know.
Actually, I don't care what I did. I smoked weed in the bathroom and they saw.
Really that's it. You smoked weight in the bathroom. Oh, tray tray tray tray, tray tray tray.
Man.
Listen, let me tell you something. Okay, you you have as I said before, you have uh and you know this, your confidence in yourself, it's there. I'm sure fluctuates. I'm sure that there are still external factors that influence it. That would be better if it didn't influence it. All I feel like you should do is water that internal confidence. You're lucky that it's that it's there, and now all you have to do is is water it. Your father only seeing only having pride in you based on materialistic
things is very much his problem. And you're not going
to arrive at this overnight. You're extremely young. But eventually, over time, as you do your thing and pursue what is important to you, as you know that you will, I think you will develop a calmness when you think of your relationship with your father, if that makes sense, like like you'll come to peace with this whole thing of like my dad only sees value in me from material objects and like you know, God bless him that has no effect on me and my life and my confidence,
because my confidence, my life, my self esteem, my pride in myself comes from things that I know and I believe to be true. Comes from things that are important to me. You know, I don't know what is important to you. In fact, let's get into that real quick. What is it that makes you proud of yourself?
You know, when I accomplish something that like I've been wanting to do, like when I get learned a new skill, or when i'm when I finally you know, figure something out. You know, the biggest I think the biggest accomplishment of my life was you know, becoming good as something. You know, just in general, I like to like to just be good at things, you know, Like I don't ever want to just look at myself and say I can't do it.
I want to try and do it. I don't know, I just feel like I feel like this was like a big just like a bump in the road for me because I've always had the mentality of if you want it, go get it, And now I can't.
Why why can't you? What do you mean you can't?
I just there's just so much holding me back. I've literally I if I moved out, you know, I'm gonna get harassed by my dad and he's just gonna he's just gonna just just disown me. If if I tried and to not pass school, you know, he's just gonna be in my ear about it. I just, I just I just want to do my best while I can. And if my best is not good enough for him'm actually you know, he can screw it now that I think about it, because I've done I've done it, I've
done the most I can do. I'm generally like the perfect son to him. He has leave the bathroom because I was trying to get high. Get high, bro. It felt good, it did, it felt good. I hate a blinker. And the only reason they found out is because I still I fill out in the middle class.
Tray please, tray, tray, if if please, let if if no, if nobody in your life or who you've been talking to in the past few weeks has has told you this yet I am honored to to hope, hopefully not be the first. But I am honored to tell you that although you smoked weed in a bathroom, there is remains many, many, many, many many opportunities UH for for you to be successful in life, that that uh does absolutely nothing to define you in any way at all.
I think it's horrible that you feel as though it does, because it's such a nothing thing. I smoke weed in bathrooms all the time every day, and things are going pretty decent. Dude. Please don't, please, please please don't let this be dude, Please, please don't let this change your perspective of yourself and and and your opportunities in life. Please don't. I know that because you're like I remember being in high fucking high school and everything was like
life and death and shit. But please, I'm telling you it's not. Please don't feel this way. Even if your dad is trying to get you to feel this way, or your mom or whatever guidance counselor person is trying to get you to feel this way. The world does not work like that. Even though you have people around you convincing you it does, it really doesn't. And you're not some fucking guy who you know. We can all tell that you have the desire to do shit and
that's all that you need. Man. You have that you have the Internet at your disposal. You have all the infinite resources you could possibly need to learn these skills that you want to learn, and dude, fucking go for it. Please, please don't let the fact that you got suspended when you were eighteen for smoking weed in the bathroom have any effect on your belief as to what you can do with your life moving forward. I mean, that's crazy. Man.
You're going to look back on this when you're twenty four and you're gonna be like that was funny.
You want to know something else is really fucked up about this situation.
Sure, my girlfriend of.
Six months that I was dating, we met in middle school and we've been like best friends only lest you definitely popped through the question, you know, do you do you think you want to be more than friends? The day that I got kicked out of school, I was blocked on everything. Her mother called me, told me to come and get some of my things from our house and that she didn't want to be involved with her daughter anymore at all. And I have And that was that was That was.
Trey, Man, you're cutting out a little bit. But are you saying that she dumped you because you got caught smoking weed in the bathroom?
Yes, exactly exactly, And I think it was.
Tray, listen, I know that, try, I know that you know you're you're in high school and this ship all feels very very real right now. But dude, yes, dude, oh my god, dude, you know you know it's funny. Man, it's fun talking to you because I I remember, like, because I did shit like that, you know, fucking taking
weed edibles and going to class and shit. And it's just like you at this period in your life, you're living in such a like defined so like everything in high school, like there's this rule book and if it's against the rules, it's bad, and if it isn't, it's you know, getting grades is good and smoking weed is bad. And in the real world there's no fucking binaries of rules of things like this. I'm fucking kind of rambling here, but dude, if anything, bottom line, Tray, can I tell
you this bottom line? Focus on what you want.
Man.
You seem like you want to pursue skills, seem like you want to learn it, seems like you want to pursue coding, you want to make games, you want to do things like that. Dude, Just do that. Don't get all in your head. Don't let your dad get in your head. Don't let this girl get in your head. Don't let the school thing get in your head, don't your mom get in your head. Just really focus on going on YouTube, going on Reddit, whatever it is, where you can learn how to do the things that you
want to do. And when you get out into the real world, you'll learn that. You know, as long as you have this skill that you can use to provide value to other people, nobody's gonna give up. Fuck if you smoked weed in the bathroom, and I'm sure eventually you will find a nice girl to hang out and smoke weed in bathrooms with. So please, man, I'm really telling you, please, don't let your dad or your mom or anything. I'm saying it again because I really believe it.
Don't let any these people get into your head. Man, Just don't. All right, please take it from me. Man, Like you seem like this, learning these skills is important to you. Just hunker down and do that. Don't let anyone else get into your head, and you're gonna find yourself in a much much mony. It's gonna take time, but you're gonna find yourself in a much better position a few years from now, where you'll be able to
look back on this and it'll be funny. And also, you know, at this age, when you're reliant on your parents for things, your relationship with them is so much different.
And I promise you, when you eventually do get to the point, as I know you will, because you are a smart guy, and you are you know, inclined towards making something of yourself and learning skills to provide value, you will eventually make enough money to live on your own, to eat food on your own, to pay for your own fucking phone bill, and you won't need your parents financially. And when that happens, your relationship with them is gonna
be so much better because it'll all be elective. You won't need anything from them, and it'll be so much better. I don't know if any of the things I'm saying to you are fascinating, but.
Let me just tell you one thing. It was like it was a good process for me that I got to do this because I just I really like, I really like bonding with people, you know, because they make me feel a lot better, a lot better about myself, and the chat like really boosting my ego a little bit. And you know, I sound a lot happier now. I just I just like this made my day sometimes better, my weak even maybe even my mud because I haven't
really been talking to anybody. I've been really secluded. I've just been kind of doing my own thing, and I feel like I need to get out and try to make something better of myself because I actually was being that failure that he told me I was, So you know what, I just thank you, thank you.
I'm happy that this happened.
Good man, thank you for talking to me about that. I'm actually, yeah, if I.
Want to smoke fat ass dad pen after this, I will because I'm about to get high at fuck, That's what I'm gonna do. And fuck if he walks in my room, I'm a laugh at e. I'm a laugh atty. That's what I'm gonna do.
Trey, listen, man, you know, I'm glad I got to talk to you too, because I just did. I remember fucking being in high school and everyone had their sort of idea of what success was and whatnot, and I felt really constrained by it. And I don't know, I hope that you, you know, find it in yourself to define what success is for yourself and pursue it and not let anyone else get in your head about it.
And I won't. I won't. I'm gonna do better than this day.
Man.
Fuck what other people say.
I'm loosted up, bro, I'm.
Bost up, Trey, Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Fuck bitches, get money.
Thanks for calling, Trey. You're welcome, Love you, love all Youah, Try try There's one important thing I forgot to tell you.
Try.
There's one important thing I forgot to tell you. And and I and I sort of there's one important thing I forgot to tell you, and I I I this is important. Try so listen to this cause I didn't tell you this because I was hearing I was hearing this in your voice a little bit. Don't go into the whole. At the very end, you were all like, well, fuck my dad and fuck my mom and fuck them and fuck this and fuck you and fuck these people and funck all this. Don't don't. I understand the inclination
to have that. I understand the inclination to have that be a guiding force for you, because you know it riles you up and gets you motivated. But it's not a sustainable form of energy, and it only will reinforce their role as puppet masters in your life. So if you're listening, don't you know, don't go and make a bunch of successful video games or apps, or get a job you really wanted or anything like that in the
name of proving your parents wrong. That's not a good reason to do things, and it still holds you captive to their grasp. Do it because you want to do it, Do it because you believe in yourself. Don't do it for them. Treat your parents with nothing but love and appreciation. And part of that love and appreciation is disagreeing with
them their ideas of what success and failure is. But don't let yourself, you know, don't let your train run on the energy of you know, fuck them and I want to prove them wrong because it's not going to work out for you doing that. That was all I had left to say. What is going on with you, Molina?
Oh, I'm just hanging out, you know, just as usual. I'm about to maybe go in the pool with my nieces and my sister, and the only person here who knows who you are is my brother.
That's totally fine. Uh well, Melina, is there a reason why you called in today, anything in particular you wanted to talk about. Yeah?
Yeah, So I just recently started becoming a stripper.
Now.
I live in San Diego, so I strip in San Diego. So I figured there was probably a lot of things we could talk about with me being a baby stripper.
Okay, tell me those things. What, uh well, what inspired you to start to start stripping?
Well?
What inspired me? Well, I mean, I don't know if this is going to sound just like totally awful, but I know a lot of people listening will probably relate. I've kind of like always wanted to be a stripper. So I was probably in like third grade when I'm in Love with a Stripper came out. And you know, I grew up with five older sisters. As you can hear in the background, I have a gigantic family. And yeah, and on that note, my aunt also used to be
a stripper when I was in high school. She actually used to dance at the same club that I dance at now. So I mean, there's just a lot of reasons. My mom used to be a dance instructor before I was born, and like my first concert was like eminem and Little John east Side Boys. When I was nine, my mom took me, So yeah, I mean it's kind
of like why not. But I also had some things happen in life where like I had to come up with a lot of money really quickly, and I couldn't work like normal business hours because I come from like the corporate world, and I also used to manage like a lot of different things. So it's not like, you know, I needed to be a stripper, but I did for the money and I did for the hours, and it
just was something I always wanted to do. And the bad thing that happened in my life kind of led me to like this one good thing in my eyes, which is a silver lining that I get to do something I've always wanted to do.
So you said that you've always wanted to do this. It says you're twenty seven years old. Why did you wait until you know, so late to pursue this, Well, I'm twenty.
Six, almost twenty seven. But because I was always in like relationships and like long term ones. You know, I was in one for a really long time when I was in high school. So for about eight years, my high school sweetheart and I were together until I was about twenty three, and then you know, like a few things in between, you know, us breaking up, there a few different like relationships, but then another long term relationship
which ends up being the father of my child. So I also have a ten month old son, So it's like, that's actually what happened. Where now I need to you know, come up with money really quickly. Is I'm I'm in a custody battle for my son right now, and I can't pay the lawyer's fees and I can't pay all that kind of stuff. So I was like, hey, I mean it's legal, it's a license, Like I talked to my lawyer about it, So it just kind of seemed
like the right thing to do. Like it was also not gonna lie like a pain point for my for the father and my child. For my baby daddy. He was always like, oh, like, you cannot do that. Even though I'd ask him. He wouldn't let me have only fans, you know, he wouldn't let me dance. So now it's like, not only do I get to do that because like we're apart, but now like I need to because.
He's taking me through this nasty custody battle, so you.
Know it kind of so.
Wh how long have you been in this custom city battle for?
Since my baby was six months old? So five months now, okay?
And you are not on good terms with the father?
No, we're not on good terms with each other.
Okay.
Do you see his parents because the father is a lot younger than me.
So yeah, do you see yourself being able to eventually work this out and get it to a less stressful place?
Yeah, definitely. I mean I feel like it's actually leveling out right now, Like I have my next court dates coming up. It's leveling out right now. I see my son a lot, and so that's good.
And the time that I.
See my son's only going to increase, So like that part of the situation is really bad. But like I said, just trying to like look at the silver lining, which is like, this is something I've always wanted to do and now I get to do it, and it's also helping me get through my situation. So I feel like it's almost leveling out right now.
And and the the relationship with the father of the child, you know, is it is it sort of catastrophic to a point where you know, you don't think it will settle down and you guys will be able to co parent together, because it's I feel like that's got to be difficult if you're not in a situation where you know you're not even on speaking terms with the father of your child, because you guys have so many things that you know you have to work out between each other, right right.
I think that eventually it will because and that's getting into something like a lot like different and deeper, which I mean, hey, we can get into it, but we me and him, like we have a lot of the same beliefs, Like I like to say even now, like there's a reason I chose him to be the father of my child, Like I do have like faith and trust in him, and like we do have a lot of the same beliefs and everything, and he and I
truly believe that, like we're soalmates. And you know, like if we don't find each other again in this dimension in that love sense, like we will find it again in another one. And we're definitely always both going to be the parents to this child, and we love him more than anything on this earth, Like me and the father both love the child more than anything on the planet. So I think that we will always be able to come back to a point where we can reconcile the differences,
at least a co parent. But I would go beyond that to say that we might get to the point where we could be back together and as long as it's a few years down the line and we both get like the help that we need.
Okay, that's good to hear that you have some optimism for the future of that relationship. I'm hoping that the optimism for the future that relationship is you know, it comes from a grounded place where you can still operate and do your stuff without I guess holding out for this guy. So has your family It sounds you're very very much a family oriented person. Yes, yes, And has your family been supportive of your decision to go and stripping?
Oddly enough, my dad has been the most supportive, like my actual father and yeah, but other than that, my whole family knows, which I've.
Found is not super common.
Like when I'm talking to other dancers, like a lot of the dancers' families don't even know. So I feel like the fact that like my family knows, and like I'm able to be open with them about it is them being supportive enough, you know, like they're not always gonna like everything that I do. But my dad is super supportive, and yeah, actually just gave me a big chunk of money to upgrade my license so I can dance at different clubs, which means more money. So yeah,
I feel like my family's been super super supportive. And I mean, like right now I'm standing in my brother's room talking about this in front of him when he's eighteen, So I mean, they're as supportive as they can be.
Right.
Have you always had a really good relationship with your dad?
With my dad, now it's been actually like a really bad relationship. It was not until all of this happened with my son that my relationship kind of with my dad kind of got back together.
Interesting, how do you feel like the lowest point in my life, how do you feel like your son sort of changed the dynamic between you and your dad.
Because I was at the lowest point of my life and even at the end of my pregnancy there I was getting sick often, so like you know, throwing up for like sixteen hours at a time and needing to be carried down the stairs into like the emergency room type thing, and there was a couple of times that we had no choice but to call my dad to come help like carry me, and so that was like,
you know, kind of like broke the eyes. But then after I had my son, like this is my first child, and my dad doesn't have a good relationship with my sister and her kids. So I feel like he was like excited, kind of like a clean slate and wanted to like you know, move past everything for that reason. But when everything happened with my son, like when I actually like you know, broke up with my baby daddy and you know.
We went through this custody battle we started it.
My dad was one of the only people that was like there for me, you know what I mean. Like it was actually like a super bad situation where I needed to be like taken out of another state and brought back home, and my dad like ends up paying like a four hundred dollars like cab fee to get me down, you know, to the airport and you know, like make sure I got on the flight and everything like that. So I feel like he kind of used that catastrophe in my life to like show that he
can be there for me now. Even though he wasn't when I was a kid.
So yeah, okay, So so he he kind of wasn't stepping up to the plate for you while you were growing up, and he saw this as an opportunity to show that he's changed and that he wants to be an active part of your life and help you out.
Yeah, especially because it is about my son, you know, so it's like the biggest part of my life. Like I feel like I was made to be a mom, you know, like this's totally destroyed my life when it's happened. And so yeah, like him stepping in and saying, like, we'll do what we have to do to make sure that we maintain your son's presence in your life. But like it was like the most impactful.
Thing he could have done.
So yeah, that's awesome. It sounds like you're surrounded by by good people that and also it kind of sounds like it took you a while for everyone to kind of get on this solid footing that everyone's on.
Oh yeah, definitely, what would.
You say, I mean, before we go, and I appreciate you sharing all this stuff with us, What would you say or like, you know, at this very moment because it sounds like you went through a lot of conflict and the conflict is kind of settling and resolving. What would you say are the biggest pain points in your life right now that you that you hope to resolve.
That I don't have a fifty percent custody of my child, like I want, you know, to raise him equally with his father. That drives like every thought and everything in my brain, you know. So that's why I was like when I tried, when I thought about calling in, it's funny because I tried not to talk about this, but here we are talking about it anyway, not because I didn't want to, but because you know, like you don't
always do like these serious discussions and everything. But yeah, like my son is like the forefront of every thought in my brain. So that really still is a pain point for me, is that, you know, I'm missing his infancy. It's hard to see him because I see him four times a week and so that's a lot. But every time I see him, it's something new, like he'll have like a new tooth, or like now he can stand, or he can clap, or he can say mama, you know, and it's like I miss all of that up until
that point. Yeah, and so it's like the borderline of being grateful that I still get to see it, but also like the pain of knowing that I don't see him all of the time and I don't get to put him to bed at night and stuff like that. It also does hurt that, you know, everything with the father of my child, Like, of course, I wish it hadn't happened that way, and like I wish that we would have worked out. So that's still a paid point. But obviously I do go to a real therapist, like
obviously multiple times a week. So yeah, I mean, but those are the two things that really stick with me. But I try to focus on the happy parts and like do what I can, because you know, you can't go back and change anything, but you can only go forward.
Well, Melina, thank you for sharing all that stuff. I'm you know, I remember when at the beginning of this, when I asked you how the custody battle is seems like it's resolving that you said that it is hopefully going in a good direction for you, or you'll be able to see your son at least fifty percent of
the time. I hope that works out for you. I'm glad to hear that, you know, I mean, this doesn't sound like it's the first time in your life where you've experienced something tumultuous that then ended up you know, working out for you. Glad to hear that you have a lot of good people around you and that things are settling in a good way. Sounds like you very
much enjoy the stripping. I feel like, you know, you called in mainly to talk about that, but I feel like we got into sort of the this overall portrait of your life right right, And yeah, good luck to you. You know, everyone's everyone's kind of trying to like attain this harmony of every you know, their personal life and their you know, what they're doing for money, and how things are going with their family and their friends, and you you you sound like you're getting there, So you know,
good luck to you in the future. And is there anything else you want to say to the people a computer before you go?
Yeah, just if there's anything that you want to do, just go for it. Because when I first went into audition for the Strip Club, I had never stepped from in the strip club, and you know, it was one of the most nerve wracking things that I've ever done. But that goes for anything, you know, like follow your heart and definitely like listen to your gut feeling, but don't be afraid to take that jump because sometimes it's like the best thing that could have ever happened for you.
It's not as scary as it seems.
Thank you for calling, Melina.
Thank you, have a good day. I love you.
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