Hello, Hey, Hi, what's your name?
My name is Jillian.
Well what's up, Jillian? How you what you would you want to talk about?
I don't know. I guess I have a couple of things we could talk about.
It would just depends.
Currently, am like thirty five weeks pregnant with someone that I met, Like, well, I got pregnant when I knew them for like five months. I'm old. I'm not old old, but I'm thirty one, so too old be making mistakes like that. So about to give birth. And then in the middle of all that, my dad went to prison. So just kind of a lot of stuff going on.
I guess that is that is totally a lot of stuff going on. That is absolutely a lot of stuff going on. So you okay, So you you're you knew this guy for about five months and you got it. You accidentally got pregnant. Is this your first time being pregnant?
No, it's actually my third time. I have one child. So I lost a baby and twenty nineteen and I subsequently lost one of my Filippian tubes and I already had like some fertility issues, so I genuinely and everyone kept telling me, like, if you want to have another baby.
It's gonna be really hard.
Da da da da. I got my birth control taken out and I was already pregnant, so it was a little bit of a shocker for everybody involved. So while I did make a mistake, it was definitely a one mistake is a harsh word, but you know, it was a little bit of an accident. So I definitely like, shocker.
How old is your kid? How old is your kid?
I have an eight year old?
You have an eight year old? Okay? And then where this guy that you met five months ago? Where'd you had?
You meet him on tender So we're all the true love?
What's sure? Sure? And is he gonna help? Is he gonna help out and do stuff? Do you think?
Yeah?
Like honestly, so if I accidentally got pregnant with anybody's babies, he's probably the best person accidentally get pregnant with. Uh, he's great. Like, we both work at a place that you dress like I used to he still does.
And well it's you both. You both work at a place that I dress like you work? Where do you not?
Everyone like?
Because well I used to work at I don't want to say the company name, but it's is.
It A is it A Is it a auto insurance company?
It might be, it might be lots of really great place.
Yeah, so no, he currently maybe works there. I don't anymore. I'm actually in grad school. So I stopped working when I was too sick to keep working because I was throwing up. Well, it turns out you get sick in some pregnancies. I did not with my daughter. But no, he's like super great. He just like was excited when he found out tracker and then his family was like very supportive immediately. And I obviously don't have like this wonderful backing. I'm just gonna hear a by myself. So
it's been like this introduction to a family unit. And I guess which is is wonderful for me?
Are you sorry? You and this guy that you met on Tinder five months ago? Are you guys dating? Do you like each other? Are you let's do it?
Yeah?
Well so we were like had just become official and now it's just like feels like normal life. I guess I feel like I've known him forever, like you know, like I don't know, everything's fine, I do. I feel like it's very atypical because I would never recommend somebody who like, like, if I had known me, I would have been like, hey, maybe you should think about your option, you know, but just just not how it turned out.
I don't know, sure a little bit.
I'm sorry. Just now you said. If I had known me, or if I had known.
Him from like an outside perspective, like if I my friend seeing what was happening, I would have been like, hey, maybe you should think about your options, you know. I just like never considered it, I guess because sure everything seemed fine, and sure it has been fine.
Oddly enough.
Does this guy have any other kids? Or is this his first?
No?
No, this is his first child. Now this is his first kid?
How old child?
He is younger than me? So he's twenty seven.
I'm thirty one, and so are you? Is he like is he your boyfriend?
Yeah?
Oh yeah, he's like yeah like you, No, he's definitely it's official.
It's definitely opecial.
Cool. How are you feeling about uh? All this?
Like the idea?
Well?
I never I didn't really want to have any more kids.
The only reason I had.
Gotten my birth control taken out was because I was like having issues with it.
It was the club.
Next one month, it goes in your arm and I had broken in half, and so I was gonna go on the pill. And then I just didn't even have a chance to because I was already pregnant. So anyway, I didn't. Yeah, I didn't plan on having kids. I didn't really like want to have more kids. I love my daughter, we have like a great dynamic. I was going to be like child free by the time I was like in my early forties, so like whatever great situation that would be to just live my life, I guess.
And then I was starting grad school, so I was like it just wasn't in the cards for anybody because it just didn't make any sense to do that, I guess. But I don't know, after like losing my second child, like it was, it's like, I don't know, It's just one of those things where this weird miracle baby came out of nowhere. So why didn't I just keep it and let it? You know, of it's life. IM a situation.
I'm just more scared about, like the complication that comes with childbirth because of my previous experiences.
Yeah, sure, have you these that? Well, first of all, I mean, it's great that both of you guys are like are into it? You know, there's not like a weird dynamic or he's not like you know, I mean it just it seems like it seems like it worked out good. So that's yeah. Well, so did you have you spoken to like a doctor about like, uh, you know, hey, what's up? What's going on in my body?
Yeah?
Definitely go to a doctor regularly. I was also born without a thyroid, so like I have to go to the doctor a lot just because my medicine it's not it does not impact the pregnancy at all, but I have to like regularly get my medication, like my levels, like my TSH and like my.
Like T four.
I don't know what it is. You probably don't either, anyway, regularly monitored so that like I can move sure. I was like sixteen on the pregnancy, and then of course I go to an ob but I feel like in the life.
And stuff and like normal stuff.
I have to go every week for the next like five weeks, which is kind of annoying because it's thirty minutes away, but you know, it makes sense.
I would say, what are you in grad school for?
Actually social work? Funny enough, I feel like I'm like a shining example of like what not to do. But at the same time, no, no, no. Through religious experiences, I feel like, you know, we know a little bit more about I don't know life and what you know, you don't really know what's out there if you've never seen it or experienced it yourself. You know, you either have to read about it, experience it, or you go through it.
What so, where is your daughter's dad? What's his deal?
I he was locally. That's actually why I live here, because I wasn't going to just like like I don't I'm not from here. I've lived like in all over the place or whatever, like like my dad was in the military, so I've lived in about like nine different states by the time I was I think I was twenty one twenty two. So I ended up here and I met her dad, and I was a lot younger than him.
Blah blah blah.
I ended up staying here and he's very involved. We have fifty fifty cuffie oh cool, And I try to keep it that way because I want, you know, you want the family. You know, it's a family can't be together because it's not healthy and not safe to be in that situation, you want, you know, dad to be involved as much as possible, you know, so that's my goal in that situation.
I mean, shit, that sounds like a pretty like solid gig because you have fifty percent of it. Because well, I mean to me, that sounds like a solid gig because you've got to raise a fucking whole baby now, and I think that sounds like it'll be easier when you know at least fifty percent of the time. Yeah, you could focus in on just the baby.
I guess it makes me kind of sad because it's just like I feel bad for my dog because I really wish that I could be there one hundred percent of the time, you know. But at the same time, the choices that we make as an adult, like with relationships,
ultimately affect children. And I can't selfishly keep her one hundred percent of the time just to benefit myself to feel better when that's not ultimately it's best for her, So you know, it will be easier, and like, that's a good perspective, But at the same time, it feels like sad a little bit because I would love for her to be with her brother or sister, like all the time, but you know, it is what it is.
I mean, so my what eight year? How the fuck old? I think my thent my parents' divorce? What I pretty much grew I only really really yeah, I pretty much grew up with divorced parents. My parents didn't have like kids outside of like their own marriage or whatever. But you know, I don't know, man, I grew up with divorced parents and they they didn't. I mean, it sounds like it's kind of a similar situation. Like I they
were both growing up both with my parents. They didn't live together, but they lived in the same you know city, right, and so I got to see my mom a lot, and I got to see my dad. Lie, I never felt like either of my parents weren't there, you know. But it's but also like but I don't think my my my parents were not meant to be together. I think if they stayed together, they would have just been more unhappy, you know. So like right, so like it's like,
it's okay, it's good, it's all I think. The like, you know, if you're the whole like staying together for the kids thing, I mean, if you're not, if you two are just together and you like don't you hate each other. There's no reason to stay together and hate each other for the sake of uh a kid. I mean, you can both be in your kid's life. It seems it ultimately shows.
The child like like mistakes happen, like we live our lives, and like we make choices. And while divorce isn't always the best option, you know, and people you know have so much shame around it, but at the same time, that stuck, and you should never feel stuck in your life. And then it also just shows like good relationships in the future, like I hope you know. I mean, my partner's like I gus, what missaying his name? But my partner is wonderful, Like you's so sweet to my daughter.
I never I'd never introduced my daughter any when I date it, so I was just this was like a first for me. And I never really had a boyfriend after my husband, so this is like my first real boyfriend after that. But you know, it just shows like positive relationships can form out of like I wouldn't say negative situations, but you know, situations that aren't ideal, you know. And so now we're here, she gets to see this like flourishing relationship. That's a great example, hopefully, I think.
I mean, it's you know, you keep you keep saying it's not ideal, but I just well, I well, look, your ex husband, he's he's not like, uh, he's not like abusive to you or abusive to your kid or any anything. Is he like?
I mean, I wouldn't. I don't want to get into any of the details or anything, but it was just not safe. So you know, I needed to leave for myself, not for my daughter's sake. It was just not safe for me. So you know, that's my biggest thing is I didn't want her growing up seeing how I was being treated and then not being a shiny example of what future relationship should look like.
Sure, sure, I mean I don't know. It's like I.
Know, it's just from a complete dumb ass outsider perspective looking at this, it's like, Okay, she's got fifty of the time with her dad, fifty percent of the time with you.
You know, has she and she's met your current your boyfriends. Yeah, he's to her months.
Yeah, Yeah, they get along really great. You know, their introductory together was like playing linecraft, you know, Yeah, really wrong with that?
Okay, I'm just a dum I don't I'm a dumbass, but I'm just my outsider perspective of the situations. Sounds like this kid will will grow up with. I mean, it's not like you know the dad. It's not like you were the dad skipped town. And you know she has lived six months of the year in South Africa and six months in in fucking Iowa. So I don't, I don't, I don't this sounds I don't think that you should feel bad.
I suppose, yeah, you just you know, it's just like one of those things is if you grow up thinking like one thing, you're like, okay, you know, and I come from a dairy brooken home.
You know.
My dad's been married I think three times, and like he raised us so like we had like a ton of moms, Like my mom pieced out. When I was eleven, he got married for the second time, then he got married again, then he like met this well he had an affair on all of them, but like the most recent affair was like this one lady you know, and this whole thing, and then he went to prison in the middle of it and she broke up with him,
and it was like a mass, you know. So like when I had my daughter, I was like, I have to stay with my husband, you know, because I was so afraid of creating that, like keep doing that. I mean, I wasn't having affairs with random women, but you know what I mean, Like, I don't want to keep creating broken homes for children, you know, and impacting them because of decisions.
You know. I really feel I really wish I've I think I've talked about this before. I wish I could stop doing this show and then do it again, and and just stop and then do it again in forty years. Because I don't have I don't have kids. I don't plan on having kids for like a long time. I'm twenty, about to turn twenty seven. I don't really plan on having kids until like late thirties at least. And so my perspective, I feel like I'm only I'm I'm not talking.
I can't speak on I can only speak I guess. I could speak from the perspective of a like my parents were divorced growing up, I can speak from that perspective, but I can't speak from the perspective of like like having kids. But also I just I guess from like what I've observed just talking to like just talking to people who grow up in a lot of different situations. I mean, all that fucking matters is that like you're there,
you know you're there, you give a fuck. I mean that's kind of I think that's kind of it, right, Well, I mean it's not, it's probably not it. I don't know. My perspective is again I've not I don't have kids, but uh, just think about how I grew up. It's like, if you're there and you, you know, do your best to like financially support your children and emotionally support them, it's like, you know, we're chilling. You don't have to
do that. I don't think you have to do that at your own expense by being with somebody who you who you don't want to be with. You know, No, And I don't think I don't. I don't think you should feel too bad about any of this stuff.
No, Yeah, you just try your hardest, and then when it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, and then you have to do your best to show a positive image or something else. It just sucks because like it's like my daughter has such a negative image of like my family because of like my dad.
And then so I.
Try really hard to be like, hey, everything's great, you know, we're gonna be fine. Grandpa is really weird and that's okay, but you know whatever. And then of course I don't have like a mom, so it's like she's just like always asking.
All my mom.
She's like, hey, so what happened? And I'm like, okay, this is great, anyway, let's talk about something else. So just stuff like that where you're like, families are different and not all families are the same. So I'm always having to explain that over and over and how you know, what matters is like what's before us, you know, with my partner and the baby and her and being happy and doing what we need to do.
Well, good on you, man. You're look you're doing something that's hard as fuck. You're doing a thing. It's I was actually, you know, I was. I was actually thinking about this last night. I so yesterday. I live I really as like a single man. I really just live a life where I'm my my responsibilities are zero. I have a plant that's dying very slowly in my house because I'm just I'm not my I really just have no responsibility to anyone, and I thought about, like, you know,
I do. I was I've been thinking a little bit more about like, oh, I might want kids, like, you know, ten years down the line or whatever it is. And last night I was recording, I was trying to record this podcast, and I just felt like tired and weak, and so I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna stop and move on and do it in the morning,
which is what I'm doing right now. And after I shut my lap, I was thinking, and I was like, oh, fuck, ten years from now, when I'm like taking care of a kid and I'm feeling tired and weak, I'm not gonna be able to just be like, you know what, I'll feed I'll change this diaper in the morning, I'll feed this kid in the morning, I'll do I Like every I just have no real responsibilities where I can
easily procrastinate and push off and do whatever. I'm the only person that will ever suffer at the hands of my own like fucking like procrastinate and pushing it out whatever whatever. And I'm like, oh, no, I gotta learn once I have a kid, like, oh, I can't just tap out, you know, I gotta I have.
To see it through because you're getting yourself with the ultimate self care right now, and like you're nurturing yourself and like creating a positive feature where like you can make yourself the best person you are today so that in ten years from now when you do have children, like you're a well rested, well rounded person that is able to be self selfish, well selfless in those ways. And you also can hire a night nurse if you make enough money, so you know there are other options too.
Well. I'm trying to Yeah, I'm trying to do all that stuff become a more well rounded person. I think I'll be a I predict i'll be a better person ten years. It's just I predict my stock will go up in ten years. I'm optimistic about it. We'll see, we'll see. I might maybe I'll be maybe I'll join ISIS.
I don't know, No, no, I don't think they're really like are they like super in right now? I feel like there's got to be like a not a better terrorist organization, but like a more prolific one that's like up and coming, maybe like a startup of terrorist organizations.
Well maybe maybe they'll probably be more in ten in ten years. But I mean, either way, thanks for thanks for believing in me that I can that I can join the best one.
Yeah.
Well, I'm just saying, like, you know, if you're gonna set your side for being the best, you should try to join the beast. You know.
Well, listen, what's your name again? Hold on? Is it? Sorry? What is it?
I know I've always wanted to participate in the name forgetting the situation. It's well, I said my my actual name, which is fine. It's Jillian.
Jillian. Well, Jillian, good luck, keep trying your best to you're doing your I sincerely, I hope you're not beating yourself up too bad about it. Sounds like it sounds like you're doing pretty If you were saying like I really want to abandon my children and go, that's not the vibe I'm getting from you. So I think you're doing pretty good.
Now and after for an experience of that, it just doesn't feel great. You know, I will be the first to admit it, So I genuinely don't feel that I would want to do that as someone else.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I think so I guess, keep doing your best, and if that means joining the best terrorist organization you can, thank you, so be it.
I'll send it. I'll send out my applications to the highest whatever. Thank you, Jillian.
Yeah, how can I say, have a nice night.
Yeah? I really do. Sometimes I'm like, sometimes I'm talking to people on this thing and I'm just like, what the fuck do I know? I'm only I don't. I really feel like I just have such little responsibility, which is good and bad and some degree I'm really my only real, honest to God external responsibility kind of feels like I need to I need to put out two of these podcasts a week for me to not die.
And that's that's kind of it. I mean, I should, like, I guess I'm vaguely responsible to myself and the fact that I shouldn't. I shouldn't like give myself diabetes. But I just I'm just have this feeling I don't and again, I don't want to do it for a long time.
I don't plan on doing it for for a long time, but I just have this feeling that like, once you're like responsible for another human being, like your whole your life shifts to your perspective shifts and some I feel like, in twenty years, I'm gonna look back at this podcast and be like, why was I having these I was having these conversations with such a a dwarfed I'm gonna call it a dwarfed perspective. But this is this is
what happened. I started doing this show. I started fucking doing this when I was twenty two, which is like nothing. And now I don't know. Maybe I'll come back and maybe I'll do this again in twenty years. I don't No, I don't know. We'll see, we'll see what happens, but or either either that oasis, We'll see.
Hello, Hi, what's up man?
Not much man? What's what's your name?
My name's Barney.
Her name's what.
Barney like the Purple Dinosaur.
Barney like the Purple Dinosaur. Well, Barney like the purple dinosaur. What's up? How's it hanging?
It's it's hanging pretty good. I was just doing some laundry, you know, folding some clothes.
Very exciting stuff, very exciting stuff. Is there anything you have to talk about?
Barney? I'm actually I wanted to talk. I feel like I'm kind of becoming somewhat of a snake hitler.
You feel like you're becoming somewhat of a snake hitler. Yeah, okay, yeah, tell me more. All right.
So for my job, I'm mow grass and you know, chop a lot of shit up, and unfortunately quite a few snakes they get caught up in the mix. I just feel so bad for him, you know, like I feel like I'm genociding these damn snakes out here and they don't deserve it.
Man.
Yeah, that's so. How many snakes do you think you kill per lawnmowing session?
Ah? Fuck?
Per like per day? You think?
Sure? Yeah?
Per day? Like I probably kill like five snakes at least to day. And that's just what I know about. Like I can't imagine, ah, Like you know, the little tiny baby snakes that are like the size of a worm. Yeah, like those poor fuckers. I don't even like notice I have.
I have a lot of questions. Where what state are you in where there's this this many snakes in people's lawns?
I live in Colorado, man, I didn't know there's this many snakes out here but there?
And how many lawns are you mowing? Per day?
Uhmo? Around like thirty lawns a day.
That's a ship. How the fuck do you mow thirty lawns a day? That's like how long is it take you to a lawn?
It depends on the size of the but I mean we're pretty fast. But it's me and one other guy.
And they are these like suburban homes or like commercial businesses.
Mostly like suburban homes.
Okay, so one in every okay, so thirty what's what's so one in every six lawns has a snake in it?
Uh?
Yeah, at least dude, Like, I'd be seeing a lot more snakes too, and I'm not running them over.
Yeah, well, I think about this. I think about this a lot because, like, uh, you know, there's well, think about the exterminator. You call an exterminator. He goes into your house, he gets rid of all the bugs and the mice and the vermin. Right, it's not really their fault that they're there. They're not they like a like a rat, is not in your house due to any kind of active hostility. It's not being a dick. It's
not morally in the wrong for being there. But we have all come to accept that that they have when they encroach upon our territory. We are allowed and encouraged and justified and murdering them. And I agree wholeheartedly. If a snake or a rat or a skunk is in my house, I'm calling a guy to come over and kill it full scent. Absolutely, I'm part.
Of these snakes.
They're not.
You did not violate any any property rights or something. You know, They're just mining their own damn business. Where are they supposed to live when we build fucking suburbs all over the place?
Could you not do you have time to if you want to de snake the lawn? Could you? Could you just shove the snake out with a broom before you mow it over?
Well, yeah, I don't purposely run this snake, so if I if I notice them, I'll kick him out of the way first. But like, I don't know. We're just going for efficiency all day, so I'm not like going slow and like eyeball on the ground looking for snakes. I just try to like avoid them when I catch them, you.
Know, Okay, all right? You, By the way, I think here's why I think you're a little bit better than Hitler is because Hitler. Hitler didn't have really have any sympathy. I don't think for the people that he was killing. You seem as though, at least you, but you would like to not kill snakes. Hitler, I think he likes I think he liked to kill. I think he enjoyed the process of killing everyone that he killed. So that's why I think you're a little bit better than Hitler.
Is that's a fair point.
Do you do you like snakes?
I fuck with them. I think they're pretty cool. I mean I had one of them try to like bite me, But besides that, they're pretty chill.
I this is kind of like the I please please forgive me if I've gone on this rant on the podcast before. But uh, you know how there's all these like PSAs, like if you see a spotted lantern fly, you should kill it. Yeah, it's like, well, why that's I think that's kind of fucked up because they didn't do anything. They're just doing what they do naturally. You know, they're just fucking bugs. They don't understand our universe or
a delicate ecosystem. They're just being bugs, and we're gonna kill them because because why because why?
It's a good question, I guess because we value our ecosystem over the lives of these few bugs.
Man, you kill five snakes a day, that's crazy.
Yeah, it's fucked up, man, fucked up. I had to put one out of his misery the other day. It was the first time I grew the balls to do it, because most of the time, like I mean, sometimes you like chop their head clean off. You know, there's no coming back from that. But sometimes, you know, it just like clips them a little bit, and like they're at a point where like they're fucked up, but they're still alive, you know, and they're not gonna make it out in nature.
I never really had the balls before to like put them out of their misery, you know, Like I was like, god, man, I'm sorry, but you're just gonna have to suffer. Someone else has got to do you in I can't do it. But you know, recently I've decided that, you know, I've killed so many the least I can do is, like, you know, stop their homies from suffering a little bit.
That's that's noble of you. I don't think Hitler would have would have referred to the people he was killing as homies either, So that's another reason why I think ye did this? Did it make you feel better to talk about this at least?
Yeah, it's nice talk about it a little bit like.
Go ahead? What go ahead? You were saying something.
I was just saying, I'm feeling a bit less, like snake Hitler.
That's good. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go? Snake Hitler?
Yeah? You know, guys, just watch out for snakes, you know, the cool with you slithering around? It's pretty funny when they try to run for their lives. They're just like slithering across the ground.
That's that. That is That is a little snake hitlery to laugh at their pain. That is a little snake hit all right.
Wait, they go with the concrete and then they like can't give any grip. They're just like sliding across the ground in one spot. It's pretty fun, all right.
I think you like killing these ns?
All right? No, no, no, no, no, all right. If they're running for their lives, that's a good thing, because then I won't kill them.
That's dark.
I also had a snake jump out of the way I want That was pretty badass.
What's your real name?
My real name is Barney manur Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
Take care Byarnie, thank you for coming.
Yeah, pretty yeah, I have a good one. Gay love your streams.
Thank you brother. You know what's funny, I actually would I like, I know, Hitler he killed a lot of people. I bet there was some. I bet some animals slipped in there with him. I bet he probably I would. I don't know why. I just get this feeling, like, I mean, with all the like crazy crap he was doing, and you know, I mean he was in charge of I don't know, he he led the German army during World War two. Right, there was like a lot of stuff going on in World War Two, and I I
I'll love what I'm getting at. I'm no history buff or, and I don't know a whole lot about Hitler, but I part of me thinks it's quite possible that Hitler actually more snakes than this guy did. I wouldn't be surprised if Hitler killed at least ten snakes, even if indirectly, just as a result of all the World War II stuff. I bet some snakes died as a result of World War two. And I bet it's quite possible that Hitler is Hitler's actions indirectly resulted in the deaths of more
snakes than this guy's actions did. And that's another reason I think he's he's a little bit better than Hitler. Proan Michael, Hello, Hello, Hey, what's.
Up so much?
Thank you for taking my goal?
Oh, of course, of course, thank you for calling. How's it going, brother, it's going well.
I'm just starting the workday for a while and watching your stream, loving every second of it.
Thanks man. What uh? What's what's going on? Is there a thing you wanted to talk about?
Well, it depends on how deep you want to go. I could talk about the fact that my mother passed away last year, where I could talk about the depression I'm currently trying to deal with.
Why are you depressed?
You know, I'm trying to figure that out. I'm not really sure. I'm actually like seeking I'll say, quote unquote real therapy. I'm not really sure, you know, I just financial struggles.
I think I don't think you have to put quotes around real therapy. I think that's understandable. How old are you.
Twenty eight?
Twenty eight? Okay, we're about similar ages. Ish, Uh, what do you do?
I'm a purchasing agent for a casino resort?
What is a purchasing agent?
So I just handle all the purchasing needs for the casino whatever they need, different things.
What is like you buy like like a velvet rope?
I do, yeah, if they want it? Yeah, or flat machine paper or sometimes it's a lot of soda. Surprisingly sure?
Sure? Well, I mean sure, yeah, man? What do you want? What do you want to get in zoo?
Well? Do you got any relationship advice? I've been really irritable and I just don't know how to deal with that.
No, I have. I am I'm terrible at relationship advice. I'm sorry. What did you say? I interrupted you by saying, no.
No, don't worry about it. I just I'm so irritable, and I just don't know what to do to like catch it when it starts happening. You know, I can feel like like I feel myself getting angry, and then I just don't know how to handle that emotion.
Oh okay, So are you in a relationship?
I am? You know, I've been married for six years?
Oh wow? Oh uh, and you're like, feel okay, so you're telling me you're you have been married for six years? And you feel your self getting irritable, and you're like, I so don't want to like yell at my spouse, but my I'm just getting really angry and frustrated.
Exactly exactly. Yeah, And I don't and I just don't know how to handle that because I don't mean to be mean to the people that I love, but it's just what comes out of my mouth.
All right, So are you okay? First of all, you should definitely go talk to a real therapist about this issue. No quote, but uh, no quotes, no quotes. You should talk to a I'm gonna bold it actually instead of quoting it, I'm gonna bold and italicized real therapist for this. But uh why okay? But so you here's that you know that you're not mad at your spouse. You're just
mad about in life. Your brain is just firing off and you're gonna take energy and dispense it in whatever direction is it wants to go.
Exactly yeah, because it's just like like you're saying, you know, it just starts coming at me and I can feel it, and then it's just like it's hard to stop it.
Why are you mad?
I don't know? And and you know my wife asked me that question. Also, I really don't know. I just I just get so irritable and irritated by anything.
Okay, so let me you have a You have a job, right, your's your job? Are you a W two employee at this job?
Yeah? Two jobs?
Yes?
Do they offer you health insurance?
I do have health insurance, and that's where I'm that's how I'm getting my therapy.
Okay, let me so look, man, I'm a crazy person on the internet. I'm not a therapist. I'm not pretending to be a therapist. This is not an advice show. This is just I'm just a fucking guy, and I have and I think about things, and these are my thing. This is these are my thoughts. So, like, I think the best thing you can do is just like take a second, take a second and go into and with therapy and psychiatry and all these things that your health
insurance is going to pay for from these jobs. You go into yourself and you go, Okay, this is a problem. I am identifying that this is a problem. I'm going to try my best to work on this problem, and like go go from there. You know, that's the best. That sounds like the best thing you can do for your for your family.
Yeah, I appreciate that. That's exactly what I'm trying to do. You know. Definitely, it's just hard to catch yourself, but yeah, I'm definitely trying.
You're like, I mean, how many movies are there about like a guy who's possessed and she's about to kill someone and the person's like, what's your name again? My name is Michael, like Michael, the real Michael. I'm talking to the real Michael here. And the guy's like, I must fight the demon. You gotta do it. You gotta fight the demon. I mean, hopefully you're not pointing a gun in anyone.
But no, definitely, nothing physical. It's just I just I just ye know, and you know, storm off into my room like a child.
Mm hmmm mm hmm. Yeah. I don't know, man, Maybe God I shouldn't be telling people this, but maybe it's meds or I don't I don't know, I don't know.
Well, I will say that's what a real psychiatrist is for. Yes, definitely figure that go to a real.
Go to a real psychiatry. Well do you can? I you asked me for relationship advice. I'm not good. I'm I don't I can I Is there any other aspect of this you want to you want to talk about? I guess before before we go, I think you should totally go to a real psych therapist person. You don't sound like a bad guy. You sound like you know that you have some problems and that you're gonna try to fix them.
Yeah. I definitely am trying to fix some I just I uh, you know, thank you for taking my call. And and if anything, I would say to the people of the internet, you know, just stay strong no matter what I'm I'm going through a lot, but you just have to stay strong. There's no other choice.
Hey, take care man, and good luck.
Thank you. I appreciate you.
He buys diet coke for the casino. That's cool. If I did that job, you know what I would do. I would fucking order I would like take the company credit card and I would order a bunch of diet coke. I would get fired from that job because I would use it to siphon off free diet coke or maybe or maybe not maybe you know what, look the casino, you order a palette, Well, how many palt you order? Like ten pallettes? A diet coke. I'd take a couple off the truck. I would take a couple of palettes
off the truck of diet coke off the truck. They're not going to notice a couple of diet cokes out of like, well, how many diet cokes are in a palette, like a bunch. They're not going to notice a couple diet cokes missing. And that's an issue I'm not going to work on. I'm not. I'm this guy, this caller, he was like, I've identified that I have an issue, and I'm going to go work on it and try to solve it. I'm not gonna do that with my
diet coke addiction. I've identified. I'm not even gonna identify that it's a problem. I'm just gonna suck on that diet teat until I die. Hello. Hello, Hi, what's your name?
Borsa?
Larissa? Yeah, that's fine, Larissa. What's up, Larissa? How's how's life?
That's great? How about you?
Uh?
Life's good? Uh, it's Sonny out. I'm doing. It's eleven thirty four in the in the morning. Where I am. I feel good, I feel caffeinated, I feel awake, I feel ready to talk. What's up with? What's give you the rundown? Larissa? What's what's going on? What brings you to uh to life today?
Yeah?
Well, I'm fighting the urge to cuss out my supervisor today.
So I'm fighting the urge to cuss out your supervisor.
Why is that he has a serious pokemonngo it Dish network and we are getting loaded with his work so he can play umoo.
Really he's he's slacking off and the work's being pushed onto you. Yeah, what what is? What do you do?
I work at a hospital.
We do like, oh, our instrumentation. It's called sterile processing. But yeah, he is super lazy and he's supposed to be doing his job and he just pop amongo's all day.
Do you ever have you talked to him and been like, hey, can you stop doing that? Oh?
Yeah, like we'll call him out. We just did it yesterday. We actually gotting into a huge group chat like argument, debate about it. But we're getting a talking to tonight. I work night shift, so we'll see what I get talked to about.
But yeah, we are like, hey, can you like.
Not do that.
We'll have like.
Daily meetings and he'll be playing it actively and we're like, hey, can you get off that? He goes no, like I do it all the time, Like he actually has a problem, Like so so you.
Got, I'm so I'm curious, so you got. So you work at a hospital. So if his work doesn't get if his work doesn't get done, who suffers? Is it like a company or is it or like do.
People get as a whole? So we he's supposed to be ordering stuff like we do, like trauma cases. If we have any hands and they get a little like screws in their hands, those are gone. So he's got to reorder those parts. And now we're having to do his job because they're not having enough pieces to go in their sets for emergency cases. So it's a big deal and he's just gonna put it on us.
That way, he doesn't have to worry about it.
Is he How close is he to catching a mewtwo or or hello, I.
Have no I to you? Okay, I have friends that play it and I don't play Pokemon go at all. I'm like, can you please like come wreck him at work and just like ruin him?
Do Yeah, that's what you got to do. You got you gotta you gotta get one of your friends to go. You gotta do it like Pokemon, where you have to defeat him in battle to get him to do his job.
We could get his work done right.
Well, who's his who's his boss? Do you know who his bosses? Yeah?
Like he he's there too in the meeting. He'll see him doing it, and he goes. Well. His argument is, well, we go on our phones. We don't go on our phones. We have earbuds in and we listened. I listened to you all day to get through my day. So just so you know, I'm cleaning blood and guts and gore out of DUTs while I'm listening to you all day.
That's all I do.
Beautiful, That's what this is meant for. That's what this was meant for.
You get me through Monday.
Well, god, damn, I don't know. I don't know. This is a tricky This is a it is a tricky one because like, you can't you like I'm always of the opinion, I'm kind of the opinion. You can't like make fucking anyone like do anything.
Oh no, you can't.
But you talk to him about it. You talk to the supervisor about it, yeah, and no one cares.
Everyone knows. They just laugh about it and it's like okay, but it's affecting us now. So today I'm gonna like let them know. I'm going to higher ups if they don't take care of it. I guess. So when Pokemon first came out, like POKEMONO.
There was issues where they had.
To contact like the POKEMONO creators and help get it banned from hospitals because all the workers and like people from like the woodworks would come out park in the hospital parking and there wouldn't be any room for emergency like people to come in.
So I guess you can get it banned.
Pokemon go like primarily banned from.
Hospitals, So we are looking into doing that next because it'd be so funny to watch him try to play and he's like, no, I can't play.
I mean that sounds like a good I don't think that people. Yeah, I mean it sounds because I remember in like the I forget what fucking summer was, like it's twenty sixteen or seventeen or whatever, where like everyone was obsessed with it and you would go out and like everyone would like rush the places that had the legendary Pokemon, and I think having a legendary Pokemon spawned at a fuck at a hospital probably sounds like a bad idea.
Yeah, it is a bad idea. Yeah, there was a lot of issues. There had a been this. They had to block it from there. Yeah, it was crazy. I didn't know about this until yesterday because we talked about solutions. I just want to take his Pokemon and crush them. I think that's going to be my first step. Is I'm going to become a Pokemon master.
Yeah, I mean that's the only Sorry I'm not I have no advice for you, not that this is an advice.
I want to talk about how ridiculous it was.
Yeah. Yeah, why don't you download Poke? Why don't you download Pokemon Go? And maybe you can get really good at it and beat him and that's how you can get his attention.
That'd be great, I think. I think that's what my thing is.
Yeah, well, Larissa, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Uh? If you were at a hospital, please don't play Pokemon goe.
Alright, Bye, I've been told I kind of look like a tree co nobody's told me that I just came to that conclusion. I came to that conclusion on my own. But looking at pictures of Treco, there Repket goes on the line, taking your phone.
Calls every night.
There repin Can goes doing to ride. He's teaching you cloud and your life, but he's not really an expert.