Hi. What's your name?
My name is Let's go with Dave.
Dave. What's up, Dave? How you doing?
I'm doing pretty good. I'm just hanging out waiting by my window because I'm getting an important package today. But my apartment doesn't have a buzzer, so he's hanging out waiting for the mailman.
And if you're like a wife at the pier waiting for her sailor husband to return to.
Her, yeah, it feels very wistful, kind of like that.
Yeah, yeah, may that. May I ask what's in the package that you're waiting for?
It is the title to my car because it's it was my parents' carbet we're transferring it, but they live out of state, so just hanging out.
Okay, that's nice. That's quite an adult because I remember when I was a kid and I was waiting for package, it was usually like a toy or a game or something. And now where now that we're old, we're waiting for the title to our car, which is and we're just as excited because it feels good to complete the navigation of bureaucracy in a competent way. Yes, hopefully it's well, Weave, Dave, I assume that, and by the way, totally fine if
it was. But is there a particular thing that you called in to want to talk about.
I mean, I've been watching your show for a while and I feel like over the months there have been different things that I've wanted to call in for, but at this stage in my life, like it's it's I don't know this the past couple of months, it's been a lot of changes, new job, just feeling different in general. At my previous job, I was super underworked, which was like a weird feeling. I wanted to tell him about that before.
You were feeling underworked? Yes, what what was that job?
I was doing? Like events for a nonprofit?
Okay, how many events does a nonprofit have per quarter?
Like you could do? Probably you could. You could do one a week if you wanted to, but you I wanted to have weekends. Like yeah, it's yeah.
You okay, all right? So over the huh See, it sounds like you had a lot of things that were stressing you out, but now this happens to sometimes it's like you have a lot of things that are stressing you out, but then you let a little bit of time pass and then you realize that it fucking didn't matter at all. You know you were gonna be fine. Is that what's happening right now? Or am I making an a leap?
I guess you could say that somewhat of a leap, Like I'm still adjusting to my new situation and adjusting to a new state. I've been here for a year.
Now.
What's the new state?
Massachusetts?
Massachusetts? What you're doing in Massachusetts?
I'm living my life, just walking around and walking in the woods and cooking. Learned how to cook mochi the other day.
That's great, that's good.
I'm not being a get go.
What what are you is the adjustment? What are you adjusting to? What do you feel like there is left to adjust to?
You can't always say that's what's weird.
Is like.
When you start a new grade or a new school when you're growing up, it's it's very clear what there is that you need to adjust to your like, oh, yeah, I feel this way because I need friends, or I feel which if it's like all of the above, and you know, it's kind of hard to pinpoint one thing. But I switched over to a new job that I like more so that helped I've made a few friends now, so it's pretty good.
How old are.
You I just turned twenty four?
Very cool? Yeah, that's good. Friends are the most important thing in life. I do feel. I do feel friends are the most important thing in life. Nothing really matters if you if you don't have friends. Nothing about that?
Yeah, because not nothing.
What do you hold on when you so when you think about when you said you think about that sometimes, what do you think about when you're thinking about that?
I mean, I guess I think do I need to spend more time with my friends and my peers or do I need to spend more time by myself?
Oh that's an interesting question.
I feel like at this stage of life, since I'm new here, I really only know my girlfriend and so we hang out together every day. But I feel like your communication style kind of evolves in tandem with one person. If you're only hanging out with one person every day, you don't get all the new ideas, Like you don't get definite Yeah, like I want to hear people say like interesting novel things to me that it's like, where
did you get that? I was talking with my one of my new friends about this guy was friends with who had all.
These really all the time.
That is a really funny. So just I'm sorry, I want to let you finish, but that's a really really funny way to talk about wanting new friends, because there is truth to its total. I absolutely want to be around people who are saying interesting novel things. That's one of the exciting things about being around new people. Uh So, I like the way you phrased that, So go ahead. You met somebody who's a conspiracy theorist.
Oh that was that was some friends I had. Well I've met a few different conspiracy purities in my life.
But okay, so you just so, you just are hanging out with your girlfriend, and where would you if you wanted to meet new people? Where would you go?
M So, this is something I wanted to tell you. Yeah, because it's I came up with this plot and I call it like the old fashioned way of making friends, okay, and it's you go to the bar once a week, you go to the gym once a week, and you go to church or whatever religious organization you go to once a week. Look at and that's the old that's how they did it.
In the whenever the thing, look at this guy, look at this guy, he has a plan. This guy is I did not.
I came up with that like a year ago and I never really followed through.
No, that's a great plan. I like that plan.
Yeah, I don't know. I mean the gym.
The gym, well, I mean the gym's the gym is good because it just makes you feel better, but it's not I've never particularly saw saw the gym as a social activity. I mean, I have a friend or two that I'll go to the gym with, but it's not a situation where I've ever met new people doing it. You could do like there's you know, classes, or like you could you could file that, you know what instead
of the gym. You could file it under like fucking physical activity, right, like do a fucking soccer or whatever thing or you know, go bouldering or some shit like that. You know. I like that plan. You go to the church once a week, you go to the what was the fucking other one though? Uh, the bar, go to the bar once a week, and you go to the
do a physical activity once a week. That's like three days a week that you're Yeah, and then when you're in while you're there, you got to challenge yourself to talk to some new people.
You know. Yeah, I don't know how to approach strangers. I never really learned. I mean I was the kid in high school who would walk around and say hi to every single person in the hallway that I possibly could, and I got to know like half the school. But then you go to and you're just the weirdo. So I stopped. Yeah, it was like the friendly kid.
Wait a minute, really, when you say, can you tell me more about this? You went up to everyone around you and said hello.
Yeah. It was like my whole thing was I got so. I studied sociology in college, among other things, but I did that partly because in high school I was super into making these surveys and like going around to everyone in the school and like asking them, you know, a multiple choice question and then like getting all that information.
You would ask people multiple choice questions.
Yeah, that was like what I did during lunch every day.
What kind of like just for fun, Like this wasn't an assignment. You just did this for fun.
Yeah, questions.
Can I hear some of the questions that you might have asked?
It was like, I mean, one of them it was anything from like where would you land your spaceship. If you were a Martian invading Earth and you want to set up like a new capital city, okay, and everyone would choose that and then.
Or some of them would be effect Was this effective for you? Do you feel like you do you feel more integrated into the larger community as a result of your surveys?
I think I did. I think people saw me. I was like a familiar face, even if I didn't have a lot of super close friends.
And then you tried this again in college and people thought you were weird.
Oh I didn't. I didn't do that in college.
But but you, but you alluded to that you said something that you felt weird.
Yeah, just like saying hi to everyone you pass and like because it's not normal to stay hi to everyone.
Yeah, but I learned that.
Yeah.
So if someone could you imagine that guy where like you walk past you walk past them and you say hello, and then they go, look at that fuck their fucking asshole saying hello to me. It's like, you know, screw that guy. That's not Yeah even if that, even if that is a guy that you imagine in your head, the guy who when you say hi to them, he
goes what a fucking horrible man saying hi to everyone. Yea, even if that is the guy, even if the guy you have in your head exists, that's that, you know, it doesn't matter because you were never going to reach him anyway, and I don't know if you wanted to even talk to that person.
You know. See, I've noticed I have less social anxiety just walking around in the mornings here and then because there's something to say. You say good morning when you watch and like I went to Mexico recently and you have good morning, good afternoon, good evening, all in your toolbox. You say good afternoon.
What's good? Buenos dias, buenos tardes, buenos nochez.
Yeah, it's very reassuring. And one time I said all up to someone I passed on the street and they looked at me like I was crazy. So you have should start those three you should.
Yeah, you should start just around your around uh Boston, being just saying buenos to people and see what happens. That could be kind of fun Yeah, that is that is funny. That is funny that when you like walk around in the mornings because there's something to talk about, which is the fact that it's morning. It's like, you don't have to scramble for something to connect with others on. You can just connect with them on the simple level
that that it is morning slash afternoons slash evening. That's good, that's good. Uh yeah, do you Okay, so you were just hanging out with your girlfriend, but do you have friends? In Massachusetts already?
I met the very It took like a year to make to start making friends, which I think I could have done it in less than that. But we're here now, and yeah, I hung out with two friends in the past week.
Two friends is good. Two friends is good. There's some I was watching some stupid YouTube video and it said something like most Americans haven't have Americans have an average of two friends. So but an average is not Like, so there's a lot of lonely people who have no friends, and then a lot of socialites so have a lot of friends. You add them all together and divide it by whatever, and you get to you get two friends a pop. So if you got to at least two friends,
you're doing good. You're better than the national average.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's weird when you have friends you can't see too much in different time zone, different part of the country, because you feel like you can feel yourself like growing apart.
Yeah, what's your name again, Dave? Dave? Well, let's see do we have any you know what? I want to take some questions from the chat. I don't know why I like taking questions from the Actually I do know why. I don't know why I said, I don't know why. Actually I do know why. I said. I don't know why. I said I don't know why because I lacked confidence in my decision. M hm, and so I'm gonna have confidence in my decision. Sorry, I'm acting like a lunatic.
All right, Let's get some questions from the chat. If the chat has any questions for Dave. Someone wants to know what car are you waiting for the title.
To It's a Honda Odyssey Van.
Oh that's pretty cool.
Mm hmmm uh yes.
Someone said, do you think I'm going to survive during this hurricane in Florida?
Well? I think so, someone asked.
Someone asked, if if you have if you're gonna have sex in the van?
Am I am I going to?
I guess we have? Have you?
Have you?
Yes and no?
How can it be yes and yes? And no, no, no.
The first question yes, the second question no, because I now use it as a second closet because we don't have any closets here.
Wait will buzzer, wait wait wait wait wait, the question is, well, let me see the question where does it say? Uh wait, let me actually see what the actual question was. The question was, yeah, have you he said, oh wait, the question he said he he finna get niaky in the van. And now someone just said, do you fucking it? I think that was the question, so I guess whatever they answer that question.
Is no, I use it for storage. Okay, I have so much stuff in there.
Okay, somebody No, somebody said, he's trying to say he has had sex in the van already, but he is not going to in the future. Yeah, you got it, all right, okay, all right, that's what I thought. All Right, we'll take one more question from the chat. Let's see, uh oh, what is your what's your favorite band?
I don't I don't have one anymore.
Everything is so cryptic with you, I see.
I feel like I don't think.
That's such a cryptic answer. No, no, no, because that is an answer, right you You said I don't have one. Anymore which used to have but and you but you did that on is the leading things? But it's okay, what's the What was the band that you had? Had a favorite one?
In college? I really liked like eighties Scottish rock based and for some reason, so I listened to a lot of the Water Boys and Big Country and that other one.
I can't remember, but yeah, that's cool eighties Scottish rock. Is there a fucking do they have a what's the name of that instrument? What's the name of the come on? What's the name of the hurdy gurdy? No, they're what harmonica? The bagpipes? Do they play bagpipes in the Scottish rock bands?
No, they but they would so they would modify their guitars to kind of sound like bad bagpipes, a little bit like the electric guitars. Yeah, electric Scottish.
Well, Dave, was this was this conversation? Did you enjoy having this conversation?
I think so. I know that's cryptic.
I was. I expected nothing less.
I would like to ask you for some advice though, just to get I need to I need to think of what is the most pressing thing right now? Mm hmm, Okay, I guess mm hmm. So I'm pretty I'm pretty not antisocial. But I used to be a lot more social, as I said, you know, high school, college, and then now I kind of I feel like and I feel like a lot of people feel like since COVID, we've kind of just been un learning, like all of our social skills that we had built up. I would you learn them?
Want to? How would how would you get those back?
How'd I re learn social skills?
Mm hmmm that you had at one point that stage in your life.
But you know, let you know, I don't want to give you advice because you don't really need my advice. You had it down pretty well. You were like, I'm going to go to the I'm going to do my physical activity. I'm going to go to the church, and I'm going to go to what's the fucking third one? Damn it? The bar? At the bar, there's no you just just go just go to them and talk to people and try your best. There's no there's no magic,
don't know. Don't do it for me, do it for you, man. No, you're right, there's uh yeah, yeah, I have I have no ad But you had it down great. I loved the plan. You had a plan. I loved the plan. Go to your plan.
M hmm.
I'll see you at a church. I guess I won't because Jewish.
But you know, maybe you're ever gonna come to Hampshire.
Am I ever gonna come to New Hampshire. I'm gonna be so honest with you. I don't think I'll ever come to New Hampshire. Yeah, I don't. I don't like. I don't like to promise. I try not. I'm not always successful, but I try not to. I don't want to just be like, yeah, no, man, totally going to go. I don't see a reason.
It's a pretty rare Hampshire.
Well I don't. I I might. I don't know if I will. I might die having never gone to New Hampshire.
It's somewhat unfortunate, but you're not. There's other similar places to see.
Yeah, there's other places I'm sure that I'll probably go to. But Dave, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go? See?
I haven't prepared for this, but.
You don't need to prepare whatever is in your head, Dave.
I guess just speak from the heart, even if it's cryptic. It's okay.
Already knew it was going to be I was prepared for it to be cryptic. Please.
Yeah, no, that was my advice.
Oh oh oh shit. All right, Well thank you, Dave, good luck, good luck. Stick with the plan. All right, it's a good plan.
All right, I'll try my best. Nice talking.
Crap. I hung up on him. Well I didn't really. It was the end of the call. But it was nice talking to you, to Dave. It's nice talking to you too. I liked that plan. This you gotta do stuff. This is the thing. There's no secret. I don't have advice for him. My advice for him would have been probably guess to go out and do stuff. But he already knew that there was no He wasn't missing any information.
He was not of lack of info. There's like certain I think certain times, when you have like a problem, you try to convince yourself that you just don't have enough information to solve your problem because you're procrastinating on taking any actual action to solve your problem. I know this from a lot of lived experience and a lot of experience. I continue to live where I'm like on chatchy bit your Google being like how do I lose weight? Or how do I do this? Or whatever? And it's like,
or how do I talk to people? What do I like? You know? You know what? You just do it. I guess maybe maybe I'm wrong, God I don't. This is one thing I hate about having a podcast is you say stuff and then it becomes like you're right, but you're not. Just because you say something in your podcast doesn't mean you're right. I just want everyone to know that I might be wrong. I might be wrong about everything, don't. I just want to I'm just That's why I like
talking to other people. This is why I like talking to other people. I like hearing other people's advice and lived experience because if then if they're wrong, you know, it's not my fault. But uh yeah, I think that you probably just do it. Just go talk to people, go to church, go to the bar, talk to some guy or girl. Live your life. Hello, Hello, hiy hi. What's your name? Mina like with an M, yeah and I an a Mina. What's up? Mina? How's life has.
Been very fucking crazy lately? Very crazy?
Sure?
I'd like for you, mister Gecko man, how's.
Life for me? Mister Gecko man. Uh well, actually, well, over the past week, I've made some certain I'm trying to live life a little bit more intentionally. I am. Yeah, I'm doing actually pretty okay over the past week.
I'm glad to hear that, because like it's sound of like you were, I don't know, the super depressed.
Yes, yes, yes, it often on this podcast, does indeed sound like I am super depressed. I accept that. I acknowledge that. I'm happy to share that I did this. I don't I don't know if people on the who listen to this show know this, but I did this like Vice interview earlier this year, and it came out back in January, and I watched it and I was like, this is a this is a professionally made documentary from a major news outlet about how fucking depressed I am.
That's what this is. It's like twenty minutes of me being depressed. And I watched that and I was like, oh, I gotta change something because there's because you know, there's that quote that's like if a documentary film crew followed you around, what would they find and they just found me like complaining? So you know, I'm trying to get, but I'm also okay, but I'm also okay with sharing
it because I want if so. I'm sure a lot of people listening to this shit are depressed, and so if if I I think, if they see that I'm depressed, maybe it'll make them feel less stupid about being depressed. So anyway, okay, we did it. I got. I talked about myself for the quota. I was trying to hit go ahead, sorry, go ahead, go ahead.
Because so you were interviewed by Vice and all that. I haven't gotten around to watching it, but I was recently interviewed by NBC, and I just want to know how did you feel after being interviewed after after an air and shit, because me personally, like I was so excited in the moment, I was like telling my story and things, and then as soon as it came out, like I hate.
This so much.
Something.
How do you say about like your documentary, your experience with Essa.
I didn't I didn't like it, but oh but as nothing. By the way, just as I want to make it very clear, it has nothing to do with Vice themselves or the people that were making their documentary. They were very lovely, they were very lovely. I just want to make that very clear. It has to do with I didn't like it because it kept I because it here's what I feel like, it captured, you know, truthful elements of my life, and I did not like those elements,
not because of anything with doc itself. It's just it like basically captured and it maybe like look in a mirror, you know I and I didn't like, right, So that's that's how I feel. But what were you interviewed about?
Because so I live in Florida, and you know, we all love Florida so much, and I'm a trans woman and I just graduated high school and basically I got suspend it for using the women's back around my school. And I'm not trying to get a political anything. I'm talking what it's about. And so they were interviewing me and a couple of other students about that, about our experience as trans students and Florida and stuff like that.
And I was excited to tell my story because you know, like there's a lot of people out there who need to know about Florida and shing like that. But as soon as they came out, I regretted it so much because one like something crazy that I did not expect is that I think getting handwritten letters to my house from the same person, just like schizophrenic writing, and it's crazy. It's insane. Bro.
Well, I mean yeah, I mean going on the news and talking about something like that. I mean you totally, it's it's you know.
No, I can't touch bro, like I listen, I don't understand. I understand I'm obviously gonna get hate in shit. But
the letters that I have gotten. The letter I got was this person talking about veganism and they were telling me that I need to go vegan or I need to repent for my sins because I'm not vegan, and like they were just it was a you paid hand written letter just going off about that, being like you want to be transgender, but you're not going to be vegan, Like you're a hypocrite, and it's funny.
So I want to well, so I want to talk about a few things. Well, I guess what initially made you excited about being able to go on the news and tell your story and then how did how did the outcome of that not match up to your expectations?
So, like I I was decended to be on NBC because like, you know, like you're to a normal, average person, like, oh my god, I'm going to be in the news, Like that's so cool. They're writing a little documentary about me, Like you know, that's why. Like I'm sure so many people will go that way about being on the news things like that. Everybody kind of likes attention. I also just like to be able to tell my story, I guess, to inform people about this. It's just a cool thing.
But what made me really hate it is that like I feel like NBC like or I don't know, I don't know how it works, but the people who uploaded it NBC, I feel like after they uploaded it and like they got all their clout and things like that, they just like didn't support me at all. They were just like okay, bye, like thank you for.
The the video.
What kind of support were you looking for from them?
So, like I don't know how to describe it. Like so like, for example, in the documentary, a big part of it was that I was supposed to go to school in New York. I was supposed to go to school in New York and I was still ted go to school, and that's what they were interviewing me about there, like yo, You're finally going to get out of Florida. But then a couple of weeks before I was supposed to leave, I was like, damn, I actually can't afford this and I have to stay in Florida. And then
I reached out to NBC. I was like hey, like hey, like, I'm so sorry, Like I know you guys just did a whole documentary about this, and but like I can't go to New York. Like do you guys have any scholarships available or anything that I can apply for it. You're like no, sorry, but good luck. Like I just felt a little used by that, you know. And then after that they were like, oh, actually, can you send us a video of you talking about how you can't
go to New York anymore? And I was like, oh, feels a little exploitive.
So were you happy at all with like how the peace came out? Do you feel like it was reflective of what you wanted to say?
Yeah?
Totally, totally. There were some angles when I look ugly, but like you can't control all that, you know, Like it's cool, it was nice.
Nice, So tell me, so what I mean, what is the story that that you wanted to tell. What's the like, did you you you are going to school? You're you just graduated high school?
Yeah, and I'm in college now, and and.
You're in college in Florida or in New York. In Florida now okay. And the idea was that you were going to try to leave Florida to go to New York.
Yeah, yeah, that was leaving Florida. Like I was accepted to the college and everything, but then, like I guess, like a couple of miscalculations on the college's part. They told me they're in state tuition, but I'm an out of state tuition person, and so it was much more expensive. And they just told me that like a couple of weeks before.
Us with to leave.
Things like that.
Okay, so what's up. How you doing?
I'm chilling.
I don't know.
That was just a ram rant, a random rant. Win. I didn't really I was scared. I didn't know what to talk to you about.
That's fine, that's okay. Uh hmmm, are you like so your freshman? Well, we're I mean, are you what do you go to school for?
I'm thinking about doing finance. Kind of boring, but I think I'm gonna do financial accounting or something like that.
Mm hmm. So are you still dealing with like, are people harassing you because of the interview?
Not really, honestly, No, It's just that it's just that one person who keeps like sending me letters.
It's so weird.
I wish I could show them to you. They're still fucking weird.
Well, how they find your address.
I don't know.
But and the thing is that I've moved houses and they keep sending it to my old house. But then I get forward to here because they don't know my address really, but I don't know how they found out my years to address as well.
Uh huh uh Okay, So I mean, are you well, you're freshmen and it's what they what yours? Oh, you're like an incoming You're like a new freshman in college.
Yeah.
How's like, are you making friends? Are you enjoying life?
Yeah, it's it's okay, Like all this is hard, and there's a lot of pressure on an eighteen year old to decide what they want to do for like the rest of the next seventy years other life, I'm telling I guess.
Yeah, Well, you're not really well you're not really I mean, I don't want to. I don't want to go on my college rant for the eight hundred thousandth time. But you're not really like, you're not really making like a crazy big decision, unless if you're taking out a whole bunch of debt to be there.
Well, you know, the thing is, it's the opposite situation. I have a scholarship out here where it'll pay for one hundred percent of my college only in Florida. Right, I'll say for one hundred percent of its only in Florida. Beautiful, Like, that's literally the most beautiful offer ever. But it's making me out because it's like, what if I go through my four years of college and then decide, oh, fuck the thing that I've been studying I actually don't want
to do at end? Boom, I just wasted like four years of free college.
Uh.
I'll tell you what you do, you uh, spend the next fifty eight years of your life doing whatever you actually want to do.
Yeah, but then what if that requires going back to college and I gotta fucking go into debt?
What well, what would you have to what what would you have to do that requires going back in college? Because if you get your undergraduate degree right and then you decide, oh, I actually want to go to medical school, or I want to go to this, or I want to go to that, like, you still have a leg up because you have your undergraduate degree.
Right right, I'll be making money even if I don't want to do it, and then I could use that money to go back to college.
Yeah, you're not. There's no like, yeah, sure, you go to school and you're like, oh, I don't actually like finance. But you're twenty two. You if you have fifty eight if you're lucky, you've got to have fifty eight years left until you die, and whatever you do with that time is up to you. So you're you'll be fine. I mean that's cool. Well yeah, but also, I mean you'd be more fucked if you were going to debt. The fact that you're not going to debt makes you less fucked.
So it is a little less stressful, I guess in a way, because like then I wouldn't be I'm not taking on debt right now, you know.
Yeah, oh no, if you can go to college for free, go to college for free, it would only be a huge waste of time and money. If you were going into debt, so you're gonna.
Be yeah, yeah, all right, all right, all right, right, you sound a lot different on the phone.
That's interesting that people I sound I have a phony phone voice.
It's not even a phone voice. It's like it sounds so staticky.
Mina, Yeah, Nina, Well, Mina, thanks for calling in. I don't know if any of this conversation.
Was conversation was boring. I don't know.
No, no, it's not that it was boring. Well, was there anything else you wanted to say before we go or talk about? I just wanted to give you the.
Not necessarily all right, Yeah, you're.
Not fucked, don't worry about it. The fact that you got to go to school for free is great. I only hate college when it's like you spend a ship ton of because yeah, if you're if you're debt free and you have like I don't know, I don't know if you have anything saved or you're at at least you're at zero and not negative, you're not fucked. So I don't think you should like go to college for I went to college for film.
Mmm.
Okay, okay, okay, that's so, yes, it's fine.
And my boyfriend if he kind of kind of want to go to college.
For so, okay, well tell them not to go into debt to do it. Okay, all right, take care of did all right?
Bye?
Bye?
Hello?
Hi? Hi?
What is your name? My name is Natalie, Natalie. What's up? Natalie?
Hi? So this is kind of crazy. I've been listening to you for like years, so the fact that I got on, I've been calling so many times over the past few years. So thank you for taking it.
Yeah, thank you for calling. I'm still pretty I feel very honored that after all this time people, I'm still getting to talk to new people. So I'm glad to be chatting with you too, my friend. What's up?
So, I'm kind of trying to call you because I've been trying to get into I'm applaying for grad school right now, and I honestly just don't know if it's worth it anymore. I do need your advice.
I'll try my best. What are you applying for.
English?
So you know, I'm okay, what do you want to do with your life?
I want to be a professor, so it's like very niche, but you know, I want to get my PhD. And I'm just barely getting my bachelor's, so it's like pretty intense.
Do you need to get your master's? And do you need to go to grad school for English to be a professor?
Basically yeah, because I kind of want to do community college professor because I live in California, so the community college system is pretty good. But I basically need a PhD to do anything.
So why are you on the fence about it?
I don't know if I'm like ready, I guess I don't want to take a gap year, but I feel like I asked it for professor basically for a letter of recommendation the other day, and they said, while I did great, that they just think I should broaden my horizons.
Basically what they didn't want to give you a letter of recommendation.
Yeah, they basically said, oh, you should try applying to other places, but I didn't specify that. I'm just trying to come back to our university. But they bless you. But I don't know, not.
Fuck them cold as hell? Not that's cold. No, that's cold. That's annoying. No, that's annoying. I'm sorry, that's fucking annoying. That's cold. Let's write a letter of recommendation. Jesus Christ. Nobody is anyone whoever their professor is is. I really think, uh, something's going to get back to them, like, oh, she's not going to do well. It's going to reflect poorly on me.
I was like, dude, if I'm asking you for it, but you think it's not a good choice, like, that's on me for asking you. I guess, just just say you don't want to write it. Don't give me this long ass email excuse. Just say you don't want to write it.
Now.
That's a chowd move, I think. But anyway, so whatever, who cares?
What?
Like, what do you want to fucking do?
I don't know. I want to become a doctor, like have my doctorate because I'm the first of my family to go to college. So it's just pretty intense in that way.
While you okay, so I mean you want to be an English professor, and I still hold on I Natalie is your name, yes, Natalie. I still don't understand why you don't want to go. You've said that this is what you want to do.
I think I was just talking to two of my friends right before this. I think about it. I think it's just that I'm scared that I feel like, what if I fail?
What if you fail?
What if I fail?
What if you like if you get bad grades or just I.
Don't even know, or I think I'm also scared of the rejection letters that like what if I don't get into anywhere, because I'm being kind of selective with them. So I think I'm just more about the fact that I could get told no, like the professor. That's what me know.
Yeah, but what I mean, what's the alternative is just you're not going to do anything.
I guess, I don't know, take a gap year, become like a freaking Starbucks manager. I don't know, dude, I.
Mean, you can take a gap here and become a freaking Starbucks manager.
Yeah, it's true. I don't know. I think I've just been I've been listening to your podcast a lot lately, and I've been hearing you talk about life and about how you've been like kind of on the fence about it, and and just in general, like why are we here? And I feel like that's kind of where I'm getting at, Like where why am I? What am I doing with my life?
Really?
I'm twenty two. I don't know. Dude, Like I feel like I'm kind of behind.
Sure, yeah, what do we do with what? I've been thinking about this a lot? And maybe this is just like a like like a YouTube motivational thing. But well, first of all, I think I have it. Like, there is a privilege in struggling with what you want to do with your life. There's an achievement in that, right because you're not you have enough. You can eat food and drink water and live in a place and as and as a result of that, you get to move on to the next level, which is what do I
want to do with my life? So that's a good thing off the bat, you know, that's a nice that's a nice position to be in.
I think that's true. That's a good way to look at it.
So, I mean, what do you do The whole thing of like you're afraid that you're going to get rejected, is that's a dumb reason not to do something that you want to do.
That's true. That is very that's very true.
Yeah, No, there's a lot, there's a lot of Uh, a smart reason to not want to go to grad school is because, uh, you don't want to do it, and like your parents are telling you that you should do it or like you think you have to.
No, yeah, that's not bad. That would be different. Thing is also money, but you know, usually those are funded. So it's like, that's why I'm going into the PhD and not masters first, because masters are not usually funded.
Yeah, you have to go into Are you going? Are you taking out loans and ship?
Yeah, I've already taken out a couple of loans from my bachelor's which is, oh, fuck hurting.
Yeah, so you're going to take out more loans?
Yeah? And I have Like so I guess that's another thing is like the money. I'm already probably like twenty thirty k that overall, which hurts.
And then how much that would you be in after you graduate from grad school?
If I got into a master's program, that could be an additional thirty thousand if it was a PhD. Like I said, those are usually get funded, so it wouldn't be as much money, but it would still be a good chunk.
Okay, And then what do you then? And then the only thing you the main thing you want to do is be an English professor.
Yeah, that is pretty much like the goal for me because I want to give back to like my community college that I came from.
Okay, uh, look, I don't hate it. I don't hate the plan. I don't hate the plan. Yeah, the plan. I'm anti debt in general, but like for some shit like this where you have to have a degree to be a professor, I don't think that that's a horrible amount of debt, especially if this is like the career you want to get into for you know, a long period of time.
So that's true.
I really feel I always feel funny on this show when I play pretend guidance counselor.
No, I mean are hearing because it's just hearing you talk about it kind of helps me talk through it. I guess, Okay, good cool lately, Yeah, because I mean I'm reading the chat. Should but I know that I don't need a degree to give back to the community necessarily.
Too. There's that too. If you just want to give back to the community, I mean, you can do that in a billion different ways. Yeah. So I'm gonna just here's what I'm gonna use my official stance upon this. Okay, let me give you my official fucking geck laydown, all right, you you're afraid of failure, but it doesn't really matter because you should just go for it, and then if you get accepted into these schools, then greats. And you can use that as your vessel for giving back to
the community. Okay, but if you don't, you don't have to cry and be like, oh my god, I can never do anything ever in my life is over. You can just be like, all right, how are the some other ways that I can give back to my community? You know, so you're gonna no matter what you will, if your goal is that you want to get back to the community, you can do that forever, and you can do that until you're dead. So don't don't freak out about it.
That's a good point. I didn't think about it. Leave that nice.
Oh man, I've been drinking so much. I'm gonna get I'm gonna Can I use some of your call time to give a free advertisement?
Please do? I would love that.
I'm going to give a free advertise. We do a lot of paid advertisements on this show, but I'm going to do a free one for diet Mountain Dew, just so everyone knows. I was into it way before the vice president guys were It's great. It's got ninety one milligrams of caffeine, which is like, normally I'll drink if celsius and that'll give me diarrhea for the whole day. But this one, it's just this. It's a cup of coffee. That's good. It makes me feel good. I want I
think more people. No, well, because I only drink the diet one. Although there does exist zero, there exists, Bro, there's a diet Baha blo. There's actually not a diet Baha Blast. There's it's very specific. It's Baja blast zero sugar.
Okay, that's yeah, that's true.
I don't know.
No, no, no, no, no no.
Your pause of confusion is not lost upon me, because there's there's also diet mountain dew. There's diet mountain dew and mountain dew zero sugar. I don't know what the fucking difference is between those, And there's like pepsi zero sugar. There's pepsi zero and like what are they're all the same fucking I don't know what the difference between the diet and the zero sugar. But anyway, I actually do know the difference. If you're curious, Yeah, I am curious.
What is it? I was just talking to someone about this yesterday. Diet drinks. I don't know what the actual difference differences, but I know the difference and tastes. The difference of diet drinks is there less serrupy and the zero ones taste more like the actual regular drink, you.
Know, Natalie, If I could, I'd just give you a PhD right now for having explained that I'm endowed by no legitimate education board. Unfortunately. Is there anything else do you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
No, just keep on keeping on. I appreciate you taking my call again, Lyle. It's been a long time coming. And I hope I can go to your live show in La Oh.
Shit, yeah, yeah, come through. It'll be a good time.
So that's a plug for you right there.
Beautiful, beautiful November. That's November ninth. Yes, there's a small handful of tickets left if anyone wants to come. Therapy getotour dot com all right by Natalie by Lyle. Oh Jesus Christ, it's I love I love a diet Mountain dew. It's so good, it's so good. I don't know, dude, I don't know what anyone should do with their life. I guess I don't know. Maybe I know things. I'm trying to. I'm trying this. It feels like such a fucking douchebag, but I'm trying to. I feel like I
know a little bit. I don't know everything, but like something, you just I think deep. I think I know some things, but I'm always like I'm a piece of ship. I don't know anything. But then I'll like see some kid on TikTok or YouTube, and I'll see them talking like with authority, like they know things. They're not like saying I suck every two seconds and I don't know anything.
They're like talking as if they know stuff, And I'm like, well, that guy's fucking on TikTok talking about like he knows things. People listen to my stuff. I know stuff. I think I know a couple of things. I don't know everything. No, I'm a piece of shit. I don't know anything. I don't know any Maybe I know I don't know. I feel I know a few Here's what I'll settle on. I think I know a few things. I certainly feel as though I have lived, experience experience, but as we all,
as every person alive does. I have thoughts, but they just pale in comparison to the everything that I don't know. And I think everyone has the same amount of like lived experience. I guess everyone of every age maybe, But it's not it's not really like a quo like I. We're sort of living in this like collective conscious. So it's very when you try to like compare the amount of things you know to the amount of things somebody else's know knows You're it's apples and oranges. Those are
two different things. You know, They're part of a different collective thing. See that right there? Just what did I just say? I said they're part of a different collective thing. That part didn't. I had me and then I lost me when I said that phrase.
Just now.
I sometimes I wonder if I can do a whole podcast of just ranting into a microphone, no callers. Just I wrote that down in my notes at I was like, try to do it. I was, that's one of my future goals. I want to do one of these podcasts, no calls, just ranting, the entire forty forty five minutes of ranting. Mark Marin does it. He opens every one of his podcasts by just ranting for like by himself twelve minutes. I could do that. I could do that right now. I could keep this post call thought going
for another forty minutes. This is all sponsored by Mountain Die Mountain Dew. The ninety one milligrams of caffeine in Die Mountain Dew is what is allowing me to continue talking for this long. So yeah, maybe I'll do that. I'm not gonna do that right now, although this has been a long post call thought, and I could keep going for an hour, but I don't want to. But part of me wants to know. I'm not gonna do
it right now. I'm gonna if when I do that, it's gonna be a conceited it's gonna be a I'm gonna I'm gonna sit down knowing that's what I'm gonna try to do. I'm not gonna do it spontaneously, all right, we have to move on or else I'm gonna keep going again.
Goes on the line, taking your calls every nine never again.
Goes to teaching to be a line expect