Hello, Hey, what's up?
Hi there?
Who's this.
Hunter? Hunter? S?
Hunter S Thompson Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Is that Hunter? Is that Hunter S Thompson Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? That's him?
Right?
Yes?
I believe that is him. Well, I can only assume I got part of my name from.
There, but you never know it was him Hunter, But now it is you. What's going on?
Man?
How can I get you today? What's what's happening?
Well? I guess for all that, for all the viewers out there, my name is Hunter. I have a multitude of disabilities, and for some reason, I generally like to see myself as a more chill person. But whenever I meet other people named Hunter or other people with disabilities, I get really I can only describe it as territorial. Almost.
Yeah, man, it's as uh it says, I get weirdly territorial when I meet other disabled folks or other people name Hunter. Now, you said territorial is the only way to describe this. How would you describe this feeling?
Almost? I guess the part of it almost feel just because I'm you know, I moved around military wise, I'm so used to being like almost like one of a kind almost, and I think like a weird, weird part of me just has kind of like just kind of neat on one hand to see, oh that I'm not the only one out here with any particular things. But at the same time, another part of me almost feels like, well, now I'm not special anymore, and that almost almost kind of bumps me out a little bit.
When you were growing up, go.
Ahead, I was gonna say never never had a real problem with any any of any of one. I just thought it was just a weird thing that I hopefully hold on, Like do you hear input on any sort of growing up? I never really had this issue. I didn't notice. This is how I more so graduated high school.
Mm hmmm. How old are you now?
Twenty five?
Cool? So growing up? Like okay, so growing up, what like did you was be it was like the identity of being disabled like important to you?
No?
Oh, it was for the most part, like I barely noticed it growing up. It didn't become more noticeable until I got older.
Okay, can I ask and you don't have to tell me shit, but what what what is your disability?
I have cerebral palsy scoliosis, and then my doctor says I might have a little bit of arthriis in my back, so I got to get checked up for that at some point as well.
And like nowadays, like you would would you consider your disability like I would you consider it a big part of who you are or how you define yourself or your personality or anything like that.
I think because it's at the point where I can actually notice how it affects everything, and just how over time this changes what I've done and how I do things.
Why do you think that when you were a kid you barely noticed it, but now at twenty five, it's like a cornerstone of who you are?
Well, I guess because as a kid, you know you're you just you have a lot of energy. You use it. But of course I always instead of using it to take care of myself, I'd rad just went off and did whatever made me happy. And I can only imagine now a lot of that's just catching up with me.
Now do you have like like how else I mean, aside from being disabled, Like, how else do you define yourself? What else is important in your identity?
Well, identity wise, I I think it's important I guess I mentioned I'm on the more uh quiet side initially, but I do tend to open up as long as someone else starts the conversation. Sure, I generally try to be on the more friendly side of things, which is why I find my weird I guess my weird feelings of meeting other people's with similar ailments to be just baffling to me.
Mm hmm.
This is because I never I never have the issue with the person as a whole, like as an individual. It's just like I can only explain it. I was like, oh, hey, I'm I'm I'm the this is this is the space I've occupied for so long, You're you're in my space. Yeah, but again this is I don't have a problem with them every normally.
This is one of those I have these two these these thoughts that you have or feelings you have that are like guttural, and then there's a second part of you, deeper in your brain that looks at that feeling, that guttural feeling that you have and goes, why the fuck am I feeling like this?
Oh? Exactly, no one on money. And I find it funny because it's like, of all the things to like have happened. Every time I meet someone similar, it's like this is what I think, and not like oh cool, I got to meet someone else. It's my first thought of, hey, this is this is my turp? Are you coming after my friends?
No?
One can't have that right.
Right right right? I feel like there's a way, you know, yeah I have. I have that too, where like you're talking to someone and you're thinking something and you're like, well, the fuck did I think that? I should? You know?
Where's that coming from? You know? Like I but there's I think there's a there's a power in that self awareness that you can use, right like, because you can theoretically you can, to some degree, I think, train your brain to not feel certain I don't know, I'm I Actually this is something I have thought about a while, Like can you train your brain against these certain guttural feelings? You can try. You can definitely, like have be be
mindful of it. And every time you're talking to another disabled person and something in your brain goes like, hey, I'm the only motherfucker with cerebral palsy on this block. All right, this person's on my turf. You gotta you look at that thought and you're like, you know, you understand that you do not desire for that to be in the in the lexicon of your brain and you and you take it and you put it away, you know, right.
I think I think for me too, at least I'm we're an up toward at least in my friend group, Like I'm constantly joking about my own my own ailments. I'm very self deprivation wise in my in my humor love it m So it's it's enough towards like I know this isn't really a problem, but you know that it's just interesting to think. Definitely think I can definitely train myself to not go go to that right away.
Okay, I gotta ask you this. I get it. I get where you're coming from, what the cerebral p with like the you know, being territorial about disabilities. I get. I understand kind of why you might be having those thoughts, But I have I have no idea why you're territorial about other people named Hunter.
I don't know. I think part of that just comes to at least growing up, like I was, finding at least all the places I've lived, finding someone named Hunter was a rare thing, and now it's becoming more common, and the more the more often I hear someone else being called that's not me, the more like weird and confused, but just I just get confused. And you know the part of that, I think also comes back to what golf see, I'm not I'm not as special as it used to be.
Mm hmm.
You know what, how actually, now that I'm thinking about it every time, now that I'm thinking about it in the two or three times in my life I've ever met another lyle, there is a little part of my brain that goes like, yeah, fuck this guy, right.
And I wonder, I wonder how much of that comes to When I was a kid, there was another person in my kindergarten class named Hunter s And from what I remember.
I almost have wanted to kill him.
I thought he was loud and obnoxiousness like I just uh. And I wonder how much of my subconscious mind associates other people with that specific Hunter, despite you know, everyone being so different. It's like, oh, this is a far cry from who they used to be when they were in kindergarten. I doubt this person named Hunter I'm talking to is that.
And now let me ask you this has this terror, this territorial thing that goes It just goes on in your brain, right, It's going on in your brain and you're looking at it, and you're going, why the fuck am I thinking like this? Has there ever been a time where any of your these thoughts of territorialness have ever creeped their way in or manifested themselves in your words or actions to these these other people?
I want to say no, But a part of me, just because I'm typically shire around, you know, meeting new folks. Yeah, I wonder if to a degree that manifests itself as almost like a standoutiousness.
Mm, but I don't think so. Mm hmm.
Well yeah, man, I think, but I think I would just uh yeah. It's hard. It's hard to get your brain to not think thoughts that you don't want it to think. But in the brief moment, I was in the brief moments where you do. It's like lucid dreaming, you know what I mean. Like when you when you when you have that awareness that you're dreaming, and you
all of a sudden you could control your dreams. You can kind of do that with your thoughts too, Like you have this awareness that you're acting or thinking in a certain way that you don't like, you can take you can rein it in and you can go. You know what, there's there's room in town for multiple coool disabled guys named Hunter, right, And.
I know at least where I grops. I'm from Washington State. It was a very communal you know, if I find out other folks with disabilities like it is a community thing. We were all Everyone was nice, everyone was friendly. So it's like, there should be no reason that this thought even occurred to begin with, let alone after high school.
Alternatively, you could challenge them to a duel, and that would I don't know if that'd be healthy, but it'd be sick.
It would be very it would be interesting, But I feel like I'd get more stuck on the kind of duel and that would essentially have them be aw it go away in boredom, because I feel like I'd get a little too specific.
All right, Let's say I'm all right. Let's say I roll up to you and I'm Hunter, and you don't like the sweat of my brow, and you don't like my name, and you don't like that I'm in a wheelchair, and you want to duel me? What what? How would you? What would the what would the parameters of the duel be?
Oh, I guys first and foremost said, and I'd have to find, of course, something that works for the both of us and both of our ailments, because you know, I want this to be a fear duel, and now a do I consipally want to because I'm while I'm han some issues walking, I'm still not wheelchair bount yet, so I'd want to make sure to establish some fear ground.
But ideally we'd find something that we both can we could both do to a healthy and skillful enough degree to where it doesn't come off as a one sided duel, you know, because I imagine if we're gonna have a duel, you know, it's gonna be like an old, old Wild West movie. There's gonna be a lot of onlookers. Everyone's coming to the center of town ready to watch watch
everything just go down. So I hopefully find time that we're both good enough at so we don't quite embarrass ourselves in front of everyone else.
Do you if you're in a wheelchair, can you ride a horse?
You know, I has a good question because I me me personally, I've been fortunate enough to where I, like I said, only only recently have I really struggled with walking. And I think that's more from the scholistice of anything. But I do remember seeing this gentleman on TikTok whose sister tends to get him a lot of gifts that don't quite fit him and his disability. So I know and wanted the TikTok. She put her brother on a bike and it just kind of fell over with him
on it. I imagine with a lot of upper body strengths, you'd probably be able to hang on to the horse, but I don't think you'd be able to get a good I guess, like a kicken to push the horse forward.
You know, So jousting is out if you were to all right, let me I'll phrase you this before we go. What's your name again?
Hunter?
Hunter? If you could pick, what would you pick as the as the dueling activity.
It's gotta be. I feel like there's gotta be a spectacle to it for sure.
Right, you just want to do chest.
I generally if we can put on a bunch of suits of armor and fight with swords or poss some hands, like I feel like that'd probably be the way to go.
Let me know if you do this, because I want to, I want to m see it.
I will keep you posted.
Good sir, Hunter, thanks for talking about I hope this conversation was of of any remote kind of sort of minuscule amount of good for you.
Oh no, it's saying fantastica.
I appreciate a lot.
Think you get there.
Anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Hunter, I guess, I guess. I hope everyone else is enjoying them some timing, and I say, and also of things to be all dark, things will get better. I've hand many on and off in the last two years. You folks can get through it. You'll have yourself in my sight.
Thank you, Hunter, Take care, take care. If there are any liles out there who would be willing to accept my challenge of fighting to the death with shotguns, let me know.
Hello.
It's your name, partner, my Corey. It says here you texted me saying I used to work for Paul Rudd and now I can't stand the guy.
Yeah, yeah, dude.
Off, all right, you know this is the the tell all is this the first? This is some real this is a hot goss that you're about to drop on the Therapy Gecko show. I don't know if I want to m Z knocking down my door, but fuck.
It, I signed an NDA, but you know, enough times past I wonder, I wonder.
I for okay, I think we're good.
So I worked on a I worked on a show with him. The show was called The Shrink next Door. In my job, I was a production secretary, which is a production office position. Basically, you're like the lackeys of the producers. If like the producer wants you to get something done, like hire a vendor to do X. I'm just the guy who communicates with a vendor and gets things done. And we were shooting in Los Angeles. Paul Rudd lives in New York. He's from New York. He's
a New York guy, right. So my job, I was assigned the job of helping Paul Rudd find a home in Los Angeles for him to stay for like six months for the duration of the shoot because he wanted like a home home, so I had to I had to help him find the home home. So what I did was I reached out to realtors and I would get the best properties they had in the budget. I found out what his budget was for months, and it's
not his money. He's spending productions paying for him to come out, because you know, it kind of makes sense. If you're making the guy come live somewhere to shoot, you might as well pay for his home. So his budget was crazy. And this was back in like twenty twenty one, so it was like in the middle of the pandemic, so it was tough. I had to like find realtors I could work with, so I had a bunch of properties.
I like it. Let me ask you, Let me ask you something this real. What's your name again?
My name's Corey. Are you for a while, so if I need to speed it up? Please?
Are you?
Are you? Are you sure you're well?
No?
This is all Look, here's the thing. This is all fascinating information for me. But are you sure you're allowed to tell us all this?
I think the NBA I signed pertains to the pertains to the content of the product, which has already been released, so like I couldn't tell I had access to scripts. I couldn't tell you before it was released what was in the scripts? My guess Okay, all right, this is a good question.
I guess. I want to make sure that nobody's gonna I want to make sure that Paul Rudd's not gonna fucking snipe you while you're on the phone with me.
This is a good point. I'll avoid numbers going forward. Paul, I have if you hear this, I have respect for you in your position. You ticks me off a little bit, but you know.
I thought you well, I thought you hate Okay, let's let's keep going because I thought you hated the guy. I want to hear about this.
Oh okay, so okay. So he pissed me off, and then the same year he pisses me off, he becomes like this guy alive. And that's the thing, like like he like the guy's always been popular since he's been a movie star. But then like this year he exploded, of course when he pisses me off.
So like, why did he piss you off?
Okay, okay, okay, okay. So like basically I had to do like my whole job transition from being a production secretary to being Paul Rudd's realtor basically finding him. I was in contact with multiple realtors, multiple properties, sending him to the properties making spreadsheets and I finally like, narrow it down to like four properties. I went to twelve properties. He wanted me to be a videographer for him. Video all the properties, edit the videos down to like four minutes, synopsises,
and narrate, so like this was my whole job was falling. Finally, Paul read a home for two weeks and he needed to move in. I had two weeks to find the home and need to move in in two weeks, like
things needed to move. This was hard. So the work was laborious, difficult and frustrating, and the communication from him was very poor, and like, we get close to locking in one place, and like I thought we had it, and then all of a sudden, he's like, I don't like the vibe at this place, so we're changing it up. So we changed it up. And I was like, I was a good sport. That was a good sport. I find this, I find a place. It's Gerard Butler's home. I might be sharing too much again, are.
You are you sure? Are you whatever?
Man, We'll go with it. We'll go with it. Lord, Paul, I'm sorry, you know we're good, but moving forward. Yeah, we get Gerard Butler's home, I do video tours with it. We we settle on it. Good done, deal, deal is signed, and then he obviously is like, wait, Core, are you free for more work? I was like, okay, okay, I think I should probably get back to the production stuff. But you know, it's Paul read I'll do. I'll do what he wants me to do. He's like, can you
make me a home gym in Gerard Butler's home? And this is like again at the start of the pandemic context, it's in Los Angeles, Like everyone's trying to make a home gym now because no one wants to go to the gym.
This this this this making a home gym? Is this like an extra thing on top of what you already get paid from the production.
No, I would still even be doing a production secretary, but I'm hired by a production company that is making something that Paul Rudd is an executive producer for. So in the structure of things, like I kind of work for Paul Rudd, like his assistant should be doing this job. But because the indirect way I worked for him and his assistant already does enough things. He decided I was the guy right, and I already made I mean I already made a house appear for him. So it's like, here,
this guy can do another thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get the guy at home gym. But it was like the hardest thing. I'd like assemble it from like four different rental vendors and I finally get it all set up. I hire movers. The costs were exorbitant, Like everyone realized the home gym acquipment is so valuable right now, so the prices are so high, So like I have to
hire movers to come things in. I have to install a new floor in Gerard Butler's home to protect the antique floor, just like rich people problems, so like there's some maybe class resentment here too, or I'm like solving rich people problems and getting paid Tenny's to do it. So then it's all done right, So it's all set up, the home gym set up, put my heart and soul into it. It was actually excited to do it for him, and I face silent. I FaceTime him and I'm like,
here's the moment. You're gonna show off the house, You're gonna show off the home gym. You said all this love labor you put into it, and he face silent, and I will say, he's a very nice guy. And it's like the kind of nice where it's like it almost hurts it so nice where it's like he's killing you with kindness. So everything he says, everything he says, you can't be mad about because he's his tone is so sweet. But I show him the room and it's like, oh,
Corey a great job. But you know, I really, I really prefer to do my workouts clockwise around the room, man, because I like to go from station to station doing my workout right, So I need you to to rearrange the room so I can do that, And like the mover's just left.
Wait wait, hold on, hello, Hell he likes so he wants to have the machine, so he wants the machines set up so that he he rotates through them clockwise.
Yeah, so I'm I'm gonna give him some empathy here. This is Marvel time. So he's got like a man workout routines he's got to do.
Yeah, that's you know what, you know what, you know what, you're you know what? All right, if we're giving if we're giving credit to Paul Rudd on a few things. It's a good I'd say, I'll give I'll give this to paul A. If Marvel is like paying for me to do whatever I want. I'm ringing that tab up. I'm ringing that tab up. And what if it's Marvel's money. I'm like this, this is like if Disney is paying for you. I'm like, yeah, let me just you know,
this is infinite money. So I get him on that. Yeah, and then I get I get I guess you're right. I guess if you're like a big fucking movie star, like you know, your whole thing is uh, Although who really gives a shit about the physique of ant Man? Can't he just be like skinny? Isn't that the whole thing? It's like he's I don't know.
They blow him up pretty big when he goes I don't know what it's called, when he goes into big ant Man. For him, he's pretty big. He's big on the screen. You know you gotta look good for that shot? Sure, reckon?
So he so he wants to do he wanted to do the workouts clockwise.
Yeah, yeah, So I had to like not double my budget for the whole space, but I had to like hire movers to come back, and it took like three or four of them because it's heavy gear and like again more considerations with the space being like a classic historical house. Uh So, just like the budget went up like crazy again and my pay didn't Again class's classics. That man, that's the that's the truth of it. Here. He was very sweet about it, but I had it
all sorted out. So all of it was sorted out, and this kind of fueled my desire to fucking want to leave the type of work I was doing.
Here's the thing. You'll you'll probably never work in the film industry again. But it's a good thing because, as you know better than I do, it's a terrible place to work. Yeah, yeah, ahead, what were you gonna say?
I I mean, yeah, I've been abused since I got out here. My first job that I worked on was Barry and the fucking prop Sky was like emotionally a manipulative and abusive. Yeah, I've had a I've had a shit.
Experience in the so I used to I've never had I've never had any there's I've never had anyone like that. I would write an expos about or anything like that. But you know, yeah, I mean people people are people are definitely crazy this. I once had a guy, Well you're telling me about all this, like I'm thinking about this because you're telling me about like, oh I met I was. I thought I was gonna be like on the set of Marvel movies, and now I'm like helping
a guy build a home gym. I was once a PA on a show as a PA, and the executive producer of the shoot had this like a van that he wanted to deck out. So he basically just had me like drive the van all around Atlanta, like going to various home depots, like getting supplies for a van that I'm pretty sure I had nothing to do with the show, but he just you know, I was kind
of his bitch, so I so I did it. But you know, those are like, I guess those are the kind of I don't know, I guess I guess that's what you do, all right, as you're you're kind of a bitch for a while, and then eventually you work your way up to having somebody else build your home gym.
Maybe yeah, I mean maybe I feel like it doesn't work out like that. After ninety five percent of people in the business burnt out and then leave. But my perspective, my healthy I get I'm like twenty seven now, so I've got a healthy perspective on this. It's I, you know, ate ship for a while and didn't get paid a lot, but I have some cool stories from it, and I think I grew and got some good experiences that helped me be a better person from it at the very best.
But I didn't I didn't. I didn't tell you that the worst part of the Paul Red Store. So you had me to do all these jump through all these hurdles, and then I left the show because I was so sick of it. That was like one of the one
of the breaking points for me. And then the other breaking point where I was like the producers made a bunch of decisions that were like anti worker and I had to be the mouthpiece and tell like spread the news to the crew about all the sho things Like the producers didn't want to say anything, so had me say over them, and then I like would take like
violate union rules. I would just share information in the ways that like I had to tell the crew members that they weren't going to get hotels when we were doing travel shoots, like I had to be that guy sharing information that was like the crew would hate me for. So then they all like call me screaming at like two am in the morning about how I'm I personally am violating union rules by following the orders of the producer.
So I just like quit. I left that show. But I heard, so I left the show I happened to four months later, I checked in with Paul Red's assistant because I wanted I was curious. I had a more bit curiosity. I was like, did he did he ever use the home gym? And the personal assistant said, I can guarantee you he'd never use the home gym once.
All of this for that.
Yeah. So then then a few months later he got sexiest Man of the Year, I think, so then yeah, I got super at them all.
Damn you know because right, because here's the thing is, at least you know, if he had used the home gym, at least you could have been like I had I played my little part in him achieving his sexiness, but he didn't use the gym.
So I got the frustrations. But well, that's cool.
That's about. That's Honestly, that's a better story than I thought it would be. I thought you were gonna say he hit you or some ship.
Oh no, he's a good guy and it fucking sucks. Sorry, I can't. Can I swear.
You you're totally allowed to uh discuss the financial details of of people that you've signed NDAs to not talk about, but no, you cannot say fuck.
All right, well I'm already on my way out of the business anyways, mine as well.
Here's the thing though, is and I I we're getting like inside baseball or whatever. But it's all it's like, you know, it used to be that you had to right yet to go and be a PA and like be someone's bitch, and then eventually you just be a bitch for a while. And like, right, five percent of the people who are lucky, if even that, they get
to go make a movie, but you don't. Really, you don't have to do that anymore because now you can just make a movie and put it on the internet and do ship that way.
True.
You know, I did a little bit of of you know, I spent a lot of time as an intern, you know, being people's bitch. But then most of you know, whatever I've got came from the internet, so it's a little a little bit of both doesn't hurt.
Yeah, No, it's so true.
Yeah, what what's next for you? Are you always?
What?
What? What are you going to go into?
Now?
If you're not, what's what's what's next for you?
Currently? I'm a cinema lens technician and that was going great until the strikes. So my my whole life in the film industry has been like getting shipped on like and then now the strikes. And I support striking workers everywhere, but that doesn't mean I'm not impacted by it. And I'm not in any union, so I don't really get strike funds or union protections. So I'm kind of business isn't great right now? I work for a rental company, a camera rental company, and you know, shout out to
be Sinny. It's a really great company. But yeah, I don't I don't know. I think I want to go into like real estate photography. Honestly, I've always been passionate about cameras and I have done a lot of photography in the past, but never like architectural or real estate. And you know, I I don't know if I can make some money off the back of some realtors selling investment properties. That feels like a more ethical way to go about an industry that's actually proven to make people money.
I guess I don't know. I'm still working it out, but.
I do have to say I do have to say this, and I think you understand this as well. You know, say what you will about Paul Rudd and your experience with him, But it sounds like he awakened within you this desire to do real estate photography.
Yeah, definitely. He pissed me off enough to make me reject his fucking kool aid. Paul Rudd.
Wait, but isn't he He's the one who would he He told you. He was like, I need you to make these short films of each room in the house.
Yeah, oh dude, he got Oh wait, oh, I see your point. I was doing real estate videography and photography for him, right, and he is the impetus. Ah Okay, So now now it's supposed to like worship him, huh. I should be I should be thanking.
Him exactly exactly that. I'm trying to think of. What was the one I don't think I've ever seen ant man actually have you.
Yeah, I've seen one in two. This is a third one, but that one looked crazy, so I checked out.
Are you like, are you not going to watch any Paul Red movies anymore?
No? I just watched I Love You Man the other day and it was really good.
Yeah.
So, yeah, you know you pissed me off. You got sexiest man alive. But you know he still has a place in my heart.
He could, he could probably hit me and I would still watch his movie.
Yeah. I don't know where the line is. He hasn't crossed it yet, but there'll be something. Wait. Yeah, I'm not going to bring up Israel palacetime, but I think he made some comments recently. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Just so just one last ditch effort to get something in on it. Yeah, Bro, what's your name again? Cory? You're a cool guy, man. I hope uh, I hope you you whatever thing you get out of or into that you find, find success and peace of it.
Thanks, Lyle. I don't I don't know you. You don't know me, but you know I like you a lot. You're a great guy. You do good things. I hope you're taking care of yourself because I think you are taking good care of everybody that you talk Tom.
I'm trying my best to do whatever I'm doing.
Well you can do, dude.
Hell yeah, Well take care of man, and good luck, sir. You're the sexiest man alive in my book.
Hell yeah, take that Paul later, buddy. Bye.
Something tells you I'm going to be hearing from some lawyers sometime soon.
Awesome.
Hello, Hello, Hey, what's up?
Man?
Hey?
What's going on?
This is Brandon.
This is Brandon.
Have we ever spoken before, Brandon?
We have not?
Oh beautiful, Well, what's going on?
Man? Hey?
So me and my friends are all having a competition to see you can get with the most women before the end of the year.
Mm hmm and I am in dead last.
Uh what was the what was the impetus of this competition? How did this come about?
Because it was kind of just like a last year.
We kind of thought we're talking and I was my body counts is pretty low and all this are pretty high, and I was like, well, I guarantee, if I really tried to, I could get with more women than any of you guys.
Okay, and are you what does you really trying to what does that look.
Like like actually like going out of my way to pursue like a like a like sexual intimacy with other women?
Sure? How how uh? How has that endeavor been going for you?
Absolutely terrible?
Why has it been going terrible?
I'm pretty bad at talking to women, to be.
Honest, You're bad at You're bad at talk. You're bad at talking to women. Is that what you said?
Yeah, it's not my it's not my strongth Okay, what do you are you?
Are you on Tinder? Are you? Are you? What are you doing?
Uh?
It's just like an in person thing. We kind of just go to parties and kind of just my thing.
How old are you?
Twenty two?
All?
Right?
Are you in college? No?
I'm not.
Okay, m hmm. I mean what's your what's your like?
Is this?
Is this an endeavor coming to you because of social pressure or loneliness or just sexual frustration? Like? What what is is? What is the true motivation behind this quest to get pussy?
I'm not gonna lie to you, right, but.
The whole getting pussy, there's there's still a motivation behind that. I think and again and you and look, the motivation behind that could just be he it could look. If your truth is that the motivation behind that is is hedonistic, then that's fine. But I just want to know what you know, what is your the motivation behind getting pussy?
Oh? I think it's to prove something to myself.
There we go. All right, that's what I'm that's what we're getting at.
What do you yet?
For one minute, I'm selling a graphics card for a lot of money, and.
It's going to help me selling a graphics card for a lot of money.
Yeah, like, are you are you giving up?
Are you giving up video games? And a and a and an attempt to be more attractive to the opposite sex? I think so, to be honest, Okay, how long is it gonna take you to sell this graphics card?
One minute?
Back? All right? You can put me on hold, and I'm gonna say a munch of I'm gonna say a lot of mean things about you while while you're selling this graphics card.
That's okay with me?
All right, give me give me one minute, please and thank you.
This guy sounds like he smells bad. No, I'm just kidding. I don't know who he is at all. Awesome, Okay, I really want to hang up on him, but I'm I'm fascinated by this play. I actually don't really want to hang up on him. I'm fascinated by his plate and I would like to hear more. Wouldn't it be funny if this guy killed him? Like it was just a Craigslist serial killer guy?
All right?
I never understood like Mercury or Craigslist or Facebook, but like the whole, like meeting up with strangers to sell stuff, like when you do the Internet. Although I guess that's kind of what this guy is all about. He's like on tender and meeting up with strangers anyway. So whether it's for you know, romantic sexual interest or to sell a graphics card, I guess. I guess this guy's meeting up with strangers. It's been more than a minute. I don't know if I have any more ranting within me.
You don't have time to call her, you don't have time to joke around. You got to get back on the fucking phone. I don't want to hear you laughing. This guy's yucking it out. I'm on hold. Listen to this guy yuck it up with the Craigslist killer.
This is what I'm talking from.
What do you do. All right, Yeah, all right, Brandon, we can we can include those rants. But I'm gonna just wait until he comes back.
I'm back. I'm back, I'm back.
All right, you're back. There we go. All right. I was about all right, all right, sorry about actually was I actually wasn't about to do anything. I was. I'm in a pretty page.
Okay, I heard, I heard my name. No no, no, no no no no.
Okay, yeah, you were. You were yucking at you were making jokes.
I know, I know what you were hit You were you're.
Hitting on anyone that moves. You were hitting on the person you were selling the graphics card too.
It was it was a little Asian guy.
Why not Jesus christ Man? All right?
Well okay, okay, okay, so let me let me so okay, So the whole thing is that I have two bodies and all my friends are like mid twenties thirties, and it's kind of like a it's kind of like a thing that you like, put me down.
You know.
It was kind of just to prove something to myself that I could not so much prove.
It to them.
All right, So what I mean, what exactly are you trying to prove to yourself here because because you know I I'll tell you this, I've been there. I've been like you know, I remember when I was in high school, I was like one of the last of my of my friends to have sex, and you know, I remember that making me, you know, right feel in that way like you needed to prove something, like you know, I needed to prove something to myself or you know, it
made me, you know, feel lesser than and whatnot. You know, So I I understand where this is coming from. But when you when what can you go in more? And what you mean when you say you're trying to prove something to yourself.
So I think it's just like trying to give myself some type of worth. I don't I don't know if that's the right word for it.
Sure, it's like I'm.
Kind of something to myself.
But just when you keep kind of failing, it's kind of like it's like I'm starting to get the feeling that like this doesn't really matter in a way.
You know.
I think I've actually, you know, I remember having several moments where I like learned this lesson in real time, especially when it comes to like the pursuit of sex, you know, and it's like I remember in college, I was like, you're the a number, like a number of girls that you've slept with. I'm telling you right now, it's not going to It is not a long lasting solution to any sort of lack of self esteem or self worth.
You know, I think I think that's more what it is. It is like I'm I'm a pretty good looking guy. Like I'll say, it's not like Hockway, but it's just I just don't know how to use my words. Like I get nervous. You know, you see a pretty little Latino girl standing there, and you just get nervous.
You got to stop with the race thing. I'm gonna tell you that right now. If you just stop stop doing that, just stop. I don't know what you're I I can already kind of tell why the words aren't working. You got to stop doing that. I look, I don't I don't think you're a bad guy, and I understand where you're coming from, but you gotta stop doing that.
Absolutely.
Okay, Where were we?
What?
What tell me? Tell me in your in your life in general? Do you feel like you have a low kind of self worth?
Astely?
I really like I grew up, like I was in and out of foster care as a kid, and it was It's just I feel like that kind of was the start of it, like no self worth.
Mm hm m hmm. Okay, all right, so this is like I mean, this is we're in real therapy territory. This is like an issue that stems from your childhood.
Yes, you know my parents, Like I can't really blame them. They were like they were mid high school and like back then, like abortion wasn't really uh like a feasible option.
Mm hmm.
So they're kind of.
You had you had teenage parents. Yeah, yep, that's rough. Yeah, let me ask you. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever gone to real therapy to talk about this?
No?
Okay, well look, I'm I'm just a dumbass and a gecko costume who I'm gonna be. I'm a little high right now too, which I'm not normally and I regret just now admitting it, but I'm trying to be more myself. So I'm gonna be honest with you. But you should, if you have the opportunity to, you should go and talk to someone because it sounds like there's some deeper rooted issues if we can I think establish something from just us talking right now, anything, I hope it is
that you understand. I mean you you clearly understand this because you're talking to me about it and I didn't even have to, you know, dive too deep into you for you to say something. Is that whatever is going on with you in terms of this lack of confidence or self esteem, it's something deeper that you're not going to solve by you know, going and and fucking a
bunch of different people. So for that so then for you to then get sad about the fact that you're not fucking a bunch of people and have that be uh, you know, limiting, and have that be like a hit to your self esteem? Is why are you It's like it's like it's meaningless because it's not even the thing that is causing your low self esteem. Does that? Are you following me? Does that make sense?
Yeah? Yeah, so, I.
Mean it's not even the fact that like they don't necessarily want to sleep with me. It's like I think I get more of like a thrive off of just the interaction itself.
Yeah. No, you that's I know, I know what you you are you saying you get a throat you thrive off of like just this idea, you know, not even like you know, like sleeping with someone, but just this idea that like somebody would want to sleep with you, like that makes you feel attractive. Yes, right, yes, yeah, I think I feel like that's a feeling that you know, is all people chase. I don't even I don't think that's a gender thing even I feel like everyone it's
a common thing that people. People want to feel like, they want to feel attractive. So yeah, but but that goes that goes back to why, like why do you feel like you need that?
So every single relationship I've been a part of, I've been cheated on mm hmm, and it's you know, it's just like like obviously they don't like me or they don't want me, or so it's like just just to get out there and get that feeling of not love,
but like just attraction. Right, Like I don't want to go into like a new relationship because that's just it just opens up scars and then you can I'd rather just get that little bit, get that little bit here and there to keep me going without having to jump in a hole something new.
Mm hmmm mm hmm.
But that but then you know, and then but I'm not I'm not sleeping with these women. So then it's like this whole trade that me and a couple of friends are doing is just it's not working out in my favor, like for the quote unquote game. But it's like it's feed it's feeding me a little bit.
But I think I I also and this is a whole other thing that I want to I have other things I kind of want to talk about with this first. But I think it's this is a it's a mistake to gamify this.
Mm hmm.
I think it's a mist to gamify this because that's not that's not the game you want to be playing because for a well, for for for a lot of reasons. One, I don't I don't know if uh this competition is something you want to brag to other people about. That's one. But two it's like, uh, the games you want to play are are going to be games with yourself, not games with like oh, how many you know girls can I sleep with? Or how much you know external you know, uh,
positive feedback? Can I get that? Will that will fill up my cup? And it's it's weird. I'm thinking about it right now. I'm thinking about it right now because yeah, when you get that that positive feedback and you it's sort of like it's like a quick fix, it's like
eating fast food something like that. It makes you feel really good in the moment, but it's not a it's not a great long term uh you know, play because you still at the end of the day, whether if you're not you know, comfortable with yourself, then you're fucked. No no, no amount of you, you know, no amount of of of Tinder hookups is gonna to make you feel comfortable with yourself.
Mm hm. And I feel like the game I'm playing is just making it worse too, you know, if you get denied and then it's like, oh, like the self worth drops again, but like the talking brings it back up, and then you get shut down.
You know what, what's your name again? What else do you do with your life? Brandon?
I work, I work, I do, I design, three D I three D print a lot of stuff kind of like a closet and nerd.
Mm hmm.
Can I can I ask you this then? And I'm you know, I'm trying to. I don't want I feel like I, by the way, I just gotta like snap out of it for a second. I feel like I've been going real hard therapy mode.
I've enjoying just talking to you.
What what aspects of yourself do you feel at unsettled with. Let's say.
I don't like wearing shorts. I have cankles, not fat, I just I just have cankles. I just have really thick thighs or like ankles. I don't know. I wear glasses. Like my hairlines starting to fade back a little bit, but it's not It's nothing like you can't really look past you know what I mean? Mm hmm. You can still looking mirror and be like, all right, I still look good.
But you know I'm in this. I used to talk about this on the stream more. I haven't read it in a long time, but I read this book a little while ago. It's it's by a guy named Mark Manson who wrote he wrote this other book that was like super popular called The The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.
Oh, I remember I remember you bringing that up.
Yeah, I've talked about this this before. He wrote this other book that, uh I thought it was really interesting called Models that's it's like it's sort of a dating book, and the the thesis of it. I really like the thesis of it, which is basically, like, you know, it's not about what a game or like how to say the right thing or anything like that. It's more about, like,
wh how do how do you like before anything? How do you make yourself into a person where you like yourself and you like who you are, and you like your life and you're living, you know, honest to yourself, and then how do you honestly project that out into the world. And the idea that if you do those things, you know, you just you just become a more naturally attractive person, which I think is an interesting thing. A guy named Mark manson, Okay, hmm, what do you do
for work again? You told me, but I forgot.
Oh I don't think I told you. I worked for a recycling company appliance crusher, So I just crush appliances all day.
That sounds awesome. That sounds like it would give me all the sexual pleasure that I would need.
Oh dude, it's it's cool.
It's it's it's pretty cool. It is pretty cool.
Are you Is this like kind of the only aspect of your life that you're feeling unhappy with. Is is kind of the romantic sexual sphere of of humanity?
Yeah, at the moment, at the moment, right now, Yeah, I would. I would say that's kind of my my big thing. Mm hmm. But I don't know. I find a lot of joy in a lot of things.
Good, good, keep doing that. I don't know. That's it's a hard it's it's it's it's in general and for for for for men and women. Really hard to navigate that that spectrum of life. And I myself, I am pretty fucking terrible at it. So yeah, I don't know.
But photography is fun. It's really fun to take pictures of stuff.
Like, what's the last thing? You took?
A picture of the Chicago skyline?
I was.
I've been listening to I listened to that song by Kanye West Homecoming.
You know that one? Yeah? Yeah, I know that one.
It's a six songs about Chicago.
Yeah yeah, yeah.
I live like thirty minutes from more uh from where yay was?
I feel like, since I'm Jewish, I'm allowed to listen to Kanye West. Is that fair?
I think everyone should listen to Kanye West.
You just you just keep you just keep uh you just keep raising those flags my friends.
I know. No, I like Kanye.
I try not to, like pay attention to the media too much.
You never know, do you you sound like you're are you like in the I don't know the I don't know what you would call it, the the dark web of the internet whatever they call that.
If you've been Reddit, then yeah, look, go.
I don't know, lift some weights. Stop referring to people by their race. Okay, go go try to talk to some people.
Sam, Wow, I got a question for you.
I might answer it. What is it?
What was it like meeting Eric Andre?
It was cool. He's a cool guy and I'm a big fan.
Oh, Mike, Yeah, it was. It was a lot different. The podcast with Eric was a lot different than what I thought it was gonna be.
What did you think it was gonna be?
Like how you guys talked about like portraying yourself, how you portray yourself, like you know, when he's going around city putting his tongue in people's mouths, going burnt up, you know, I was. It was weird. It was like I was seeing a whole different side of him.
It was I was. It was kind of There was a funny moment where I handed like, we take we use air pods to like listen to the calls and stuff, and so I handed him a set of air pods and he he was like, are these clean? And I said to him, I was like, I was. I wasn't expecting him to ask me that because I have seen him,
you know, put his fingers in several strangers' mouths. But the way he the way he described it was that he's he's only you know, he's a totally totally different guy when he's performing than he was living his normal life. But he was a cool guy. I'm glad. I'm very appreciative of him of doing the podcast.
Yeah, that was. That was.
I was.
Oh and and Danny Brown. You had Danny Brown on the podcast, didn't you.
Yeah, Hey, I got a question for you. What's it like being friends with Devon.
Den?
I took a wild guess that one of your friends names was Devon.
No, I don't have any friends.
That's not true. You have these weird friends that you're making this bet with. Who are these friends? By the way, And I.
Got my boy, I got my boy Carson, and I got my boy Dylan, friends and childhood?
Okay, are they good guys? Are you friends with them? Do you like them?
Absolutely? Yeah?
Day one, day one homies.
That's That's the most important thing in life, I think, is to have good.
Friends, something someone that you know you have you can lean on a little bit.
Well, Brandon, I was this conversation remotely helpful for you?
Lyle?
Just hearing your voice made it all with it, and yeah, it was, it was, It was helpful.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Stop buying Kia Souls and Ford Explorers because you look like cops.
You should what you My last piece of advice is that you should take more walks in the park than you do looking at car facts on Reddit. Maybe that will make you I don't know, maybe that'll improve your life somehow. Anyway, now that was a dud shooting, we'll say take care man, thanks.
For having absolutely thankfully. I have a great night you too.
But I feel like I feel like that guy. I feel like nothing that I said to that guy got was he listened to. I've been that guy. I've been in college being like, oh I need to have sex with people so that I can feel good about myself. It's a terrible, terrible pursuit. Goes on the line, taking calls every night. Everythig Kid goes through.
His eye is teaching him Cloud to livy life, but he's not really an expert.