Hello, Hello, what's up man?
How are you doing good?
How are you? I'm around from being I was having some fun with some friends. Just got back to the apartment and calming down. How about you?
You texted me and said I've been in a loving relationship with the porn star I hired as an escort over a year ago.
Yeah, that's basically true. I feel like you had some people connected to sex work on the podcast before and it has never really resolved in anything interesting, like you've just been scratching the surface. So I thought it would be kind of interesting to have more of the in depth conversation where yeah, basically maybe i'mswering some more interesting questions, and I feel like you've been kind of interested but never gotten any really good, like indepth feedback on the situation.
So there's some potential there.
Okay, listen, I mean, yeah, we've talked to like, you know, OnlyFans people and you know, escorts and stuff. But listen, all right, you know what, Listen, I feel like we've had some pretty in depth conversations on this show. Clearly you you believe differently, So I'm gonna put the onus on you. Where do you? Where do you believe we have not what are the blanks you believe that we need uh filling in?
So I think, like I think surface level, like being in the situation that I'm in, it's it's kind of interesting if you're a horny like that's when people are really that's when someone would be really fascinated by the situation.
But then in like in real life, it kind of turns into a different thing, Like it sounds like a brag when you kind of talk about it surface level, but then actually going into that type of situation might be a bit different, and then it might uncover some other stuff like how does this actually how does that type of this type of relationship actually work in practice? How does someone's experience coming from that work and going
into a mature, loving relationship actually translate? And you would think that there's a lot of I think there's a lot of stigma, and also being in that situation and starting to google and looking up people sharing experiences online, it just turns into a lot of I think most of the stuff you read is just made up. It's basically just sex fantasies. But actually going being in the situation, it actually revealed a lot of interesting stuff.
Okay, so listen. You know you've revealed a lot of your opinions and esotericisms and whatnot, But tell me the story what actually happens with you.
So basically, I was in a I think I picked the cowards way way out of a relationship where there wasn't really anything wrong and I was really able to have that talk. So I started looking into being probably like a very dark cope to that old situation. So I was forcing a situation where I would actually have to end the relationship. Like I put myself in a really bad situation where I was I was forcing myself
to like super coward cowardly. But he instead of having that bit of a cold conversation, I just messed up the whole thing.
So you so you started, you so you started you start seeing escorts outside of your relationship to self sabotage the relationship because you didn't want to end it.
Yeah, basically, I think that's the short version of the story. Okay, Uh so I ended I ended up in that situation where I met someone where there wasn't like really sparks on the initial meetup. But it's some I think some happy accidents led to us, like randomly meeting where she was currently working, and we ended up going on a date and it went really well. And I think I was just at the time, I was just explo expecting
the whole thing to blow up in my face. Like I think I was just still in like the whole self sabotage, like the destructive pattern. But then it turned into like a really really nice thing, and I guess going from there, I was kind of expecting like all like the expected what would you say, all the expected reasons why you don't put yourself in this situation. It's kind of like this is like the version of dating
a stripper on steroids. But like as soon as we actually started like sheing having more of a relationship, it just turned into a really nice thing.
So she was she still So is she still working as an escort while you guys are dating.
Yeah, for the first couple of months, which is probably one of the most painful periods of my life. I've been to.
Wait, hold on, but but I I'm I'm if you're going to get involved with an escort, wouldn't you wouldn't you know what you're signing up for? Why was that so painful for you.
Oh, because this was one of the things that were established early on is that she was transitioning into a different career. So it's basically just giving her room to kind of finish up things. And it's like she was at a level.
Where it's she had long term she had long term contracts she needed to fulfill.
No, she was basically she had a couple of months where she was saving up money to do to start some different studies. And I didn't want to really disturb that, especially considering how are like in relationship or what do you call it started? So I was like, I was trying to be grown up about it, and I had no right to like a demand that she would stop
this because like I would already participated in it. Okay, So I was trying to be grown up about it and let her kind of finish her work because I knew that this would be yeah, like a good way for her to have like a ansteck, but a save up some money before she went into studying for a new career and wouldn't have that much money for a while.
Okay, And so how's your guys' relationship going now?
Really good? Like surprisingly good? I think both me and most of the people surrounding me, was expecting this to kind of blow up in my faith. Uh, it's just been going really really well.
Great, great, So okay, so wait, you started this whole call by being like, oh, we've only scratched the surface of sex work before. What what are we what are we missing?
So, for example, when it comes to intimacy, you would think that I was expecting this to be a lot more problematic, like to get to kind of like a to actually experience real intimacy, because it's kind of like separating work and like leisure time, because there's an overlap, because for most people this is just more like a leisurely it's like the opposite of work, Like it's just an expectation to have a good time and be close
to your partner. But here it's more you're coming from like a very transactional starting point for the whole thing. But it's actually actually been really really nice, Like that
part hasn't really been an issue. Just very surprising. And I was also thinking that someone who's used to all every like for such a long time, every interaction, like every romantic interaction, being so transactional, would also kind of mess things up, but uh that that's also been really nice because think most of the differences there is that we're from different parts of the world, so there's some differences in the gender roles in a relationship, and that's okay.
At the beginning, I was kind of thinking that it would be like everything would have this type of transactional undertone, but it's actually been also been surprisingly easy. Like we come from where the western part of the world.
Where we're from, where.
The fifty I think I'm gonna keep that out out of this conversation.
What's what's what's what's the country? What's whole? On? I have your country code? Hold on, I'm docs in your country.
You're from the country?
Can I can I say what country you're from?
It's the country let's say Western versus Eastern Europe. All right, I'm from Western Where.
You're coming in here? You're like, I'm from a place that I'm not going to tell you what it is where we do things in a certain way on your podcast. You don't know what you're fucking talking about. Love it with me here, God that what's your name? Dude? My name is?
Uh? What's my name? Give me a name? You're really going to keep it. Give me give me your name, all right.
Your name is John.
Oh that sounds good.
Okay, your name is John.
Yeah, that's that's very sitting with the situation present.
So yeah, sure, okay, all right John, Okay. So all right, so you're from Europe where uh it's more fifty to fifty, right, and then where is this okay, eastern? Either tell me where you're from more? Stop doing this.
It's so important for for what I'm talking about, it's western perier. Europe is more of a I think, more of a direct reflection of where what you were used used to in the western part of the US.
And then I'm a whole lot. I'm done talking about where you're from. Where's this lady from?
Okay?
Where's this lady from eastern part of Europe?
Okay? All right, so she's more traditional? Yeah okay, So how does that play out in the relationship?
Basically, as a man, you're more of a provider. It's not the more of the fifty fifty type of split, which I'm used to for from where I come from.
Uh huh okay, So how's that playing are you?
Are you?
Are you enjoying being a provider.
Yeah, I think so. I think we're doing kind of like a hybrid where I would say it's like a in the way it's the best of both worlds. I think with more of like like the tradition traditional old school Eastern European gender roles, you have more of I think, I like the worst case, it's usually men who basically provide for women to be a replacement for their mother, only they show affection to.
John.
John.
I'm not asking you your opinion about I'm asking like how it plays out in your life, Like what's the how does it happen in your situation?
I think the most relevant part of it is that by being more in the being more a provider but also being able to give emotional support, I feel a lot more purpose that I'm used to from before, which is really nice.
So you feel a lot more purpose in this provider role than you did in your more fifty to fifty relationships.
Yeah, I would say, so, there's nothing wrong with that fifty fifty thing. But for me, I think just a really important part of being I think just anyone but also a man is just to be feel needed. And now you're you have some sort of purpose and that's been like, there's nothing wrong with coming from a fifty fifty type of situation either. I mean my old relationship lasted for over ten years, which was fine, but now there's like this kind of gives almost banal when I
talk about it. But it's really nice to just be able to, Yeah, just have like this very simple function both being a bit of a like a strong provider, but also on top of it, also being able to sit down and have deeper conversations that also requires some emotional being able to be more emotionally, have a reflection, talk about difficult stuff, give input on that type of things. It's really cool.
And do you what do you do? Do You make a lot of money, make a decent living, Okay, but it's enough to provide for the whole units.
Yeah, especially when you're when you're getting your money from the Western part Europe and you're temporarily living in the Eastern part of Europe, then it makes things pretty easy.
Okay, so you live in the East, you live in the Eastern part of.
Europe, yeah, temporarily right now.
Okay, where where's the ultimate place for me?
Yeah?
Where's the ulto a place you want to be?
I don't know, I've kind of given up on finding the ultimate place. I feel like at some point I had this idea of what the ultimate lease was, but part of just growing up and becoming older is that you have to compromise in some way so you can't get it all. But I feel like right now I'm getting pretty close to a good balance.
Totally. So are you and this lady gonna get married and have kids?
Maybe that's kind of the fascinating part because I was in pretty healthy relationship for like over ten years with someone someone that would rationally made a lot more sense to do that type of thing with. But right now I actually feel more open to the idea of doing that quite pricing.
With this person, and what and what about doing it with this person feels more irrational.
It's normal, it's mostly from the stigma, But in practice, I just see someone who has a lot more of a deep, deep rooted and motherly saying, a lot of care and a appreciation of other people, which also is something I feel like I wasn't expecting from someone coming from that type of profession, So that also kind of took me by surprise.
Well, I I mean, yeah, I mean that type profession. I mean there is something I mean, it's a caring profession. It's like a nurse.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's also something that I wasn't hadn't really thought about, but just talking a bit with her about what her motivation was and everything, that's yeah, that's kind of what the type of role that she's been taking. But sometimes you get you meet someone like from her experience someone. Sometimes you meet someone you're more attracted to and it's more of a type of more a type of intimate
sexual type of thing. But other times you go into this nursing role because you're providing something that everyone basically needs and you might not be that attracted to them, but still something that's very much part of their core as a human.
Sure, what do you what do you do?
My job is super boring love all that interested. This comes back to to just being more like pragmatic and expecting compromise. But it makes a decent amount of money and it gives me the flexibility to temporarily be in a completely different part of Europe.
Let's see what else. Well, thanks for sharing. I feel like we didn't get into the thing that you said we only you came in here being like, you've only scratched the surface of like sex work stuff, but we didn't talk about hon just sneeze.
Yeah, do you think about someone in my situation? The thing, is there anything you're curious about?
What do I think about someone in your situation?
Now? Is there anything you were curious about when you're like, if you go deeper and think about more the practical implications of being them in that situation or actually go taking someone who comes from that type of life and then putting them into.
More No, no, no, your situation sounds I mean, look, you found a lady that you like. Uh, she wants to have a traditional relationship where you provide for her. You seem like you're into that. It sounds like it sounds like both of you guys are happy with what you got going on, and so I don't think there's anything particularly that unique about this situation.
There's actually really refreshing that you're saying this.
Yeah, I mean there's like stigma. I mean, I I think a lot of like stigmas around like uh, I mean yeah, well yeah, I mean whatever, you guys like it. You guys like each other, and you like the arrangement you have with each other, so you know, as long as you're both happy, I don't see why this is that crazy.
Yeh, yeah, I guess you're a lot more open minded than a lot of the people I've been surrounding myself with. So the impact of bringing this up, huh, I think quite really, I feel like there's something therapeutic about you just saying this.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, sure, I mean what, like, what have your friends been making fun of you?
No?
Not really.
People have been very supportive. But this is more of like bringing it up in more of a you don't know me, so you're coming from a more of a neutral ground. Sure you could so like you could be a lot more judgmental because you don't have any Yeah, you don't. You don't have any We don't have a pre defined friendship where it's expected of you to be more supportive, and you don't have any established feelings like this is the first time I've talked to someone about
it that doesn't they don't know me before. They don't care, like they don't care about me at the beginning of the conversation. So I think that's pretty cool.
But yeah, but there's no part of any of what you're talking about that is like the I mean there, I mean there's questions of like, uh, do you feel like I mean, okay, look, in a situation like this, there's kind of there's a big question for the man and there's a big question for the woman. The big question for the man is do you feel like you're being taken advantage of? And if the answer is no, then great? And then the big question for the woman is do you And then the big question for the
woman is do you feel like you're being controlled? And if the answer is no, then great? You know, I mean those are kind of the the things. But other than that, I mean, there's nothing really all that crazy about this.
Yeah, I guess just the two questions, you percent, that kind of a just reminds me of that hoalthy the relationship and right now is because they're completely irrelevant to our situation, which is a nice.
Okay, good things are going well for this Eastern European man and this I know for this uh, Western European man and this Eastern European woman. It's like Romeo and Julie may think the east one from the west. What's your name again, John? John? Is there anything to say? Is there is there anything you want to say to the people the computer before we go.
Uh oh, yeah, I didn't prepare for this part.
Mh.
Probably don't go into the situation I got myself into and expecting the same outcome. The wait why, I kind of I feel like I've found the unicorn thing with I mean, yeah, maybe there's more potential in this. People Like the stereotype is don't start dating strippers, but uh my, one next from this, it's actually dating a sex worker can actually be a really beautiful experience in your life. I might end up with maybe I was starting a family long term, just like.
I mean, I mean, listen, I mean listen, I mean, yeah, do you I mean, you know, sex workers are people you know they have but yeah, I mean they have you know, there's like established boundaries within like certain frameworks and stuff. But that doesn't you know, I mean that they can't have feelings outside of the work, you know.
Yeah. I would like to add that when I was thinking about bringing this up with you, I was sober and now I'm a bit drunk, which makes me a lot more relaxed talking to you. I think might have led to us they were kind of scratching the surface of the whole thing sounds like a plus in the minus here.
You know what I we had. You know, we had the conversation, we had, we scratched what we needed to scratch, and uh, you know we're all going home better for it.
Yep. And I'm definitely not going to read the comments.
Do that, dude, Do what feels right for you in your life, my friends, That's all I got to say.
Yeah, I like that. Those last words are better than mine.
I'll see you around the universe, John.
YouTube, get a good one you later.
I have John's country code, per his wishes. I won't say where he is. Where he is, but it's funny because it's like there's so many people that live there. I don't know John John, John, John John. Isn't it funny that that's a name, John John, and just one John is also a name too. That's John John. Two John's is one name, and then just John is a name too.
Okay, Hello, mister geto.
Hello to whom am I speaking.
Depending, I'll just call myself read Red just to be just to be safe, because with the story I'm bout to tail could go down a legal pathway that I would rather not have millions or hundreds. I should say, no offense to you of.
People in.
So, what's up, Red? What's going on?
So my soon to be ex wife she fucked her coworker and I we're gonna have We're gonna have to go back a little bit start probably jump from place to place, okay, but I'm going to start on the twenty second of April of this year. That is when she.
Had told me, So, this really is like a court thing. It was like your testimony.
Yes, it will be a court thing, especially with the stuff, the evidence that I've gathered today, it will be okay. So April twenty second, you know, two days before that, I we had just gotten back from trip uh because I had to come down to Florida to put down my dog. And yeah, you know how that feels. Anyways, we get back, uh. Then the day after to get back, she asked for a divorce. And you know, she'd always say that, always like it was she used it as like a weapon to hurt me. So, you know, at
first I didn't believe her. You know, I just let it left it alone, Let's sleep on it, I asked her. The next day, says the same thing. You know, it kind of hurts me because I'm thinking, oh, well, it's over. And then later that night, the twenty second, I get to talking and she gets we both get to talking. I'm like, were you seeing him? Are you going to be with him? Blah blah blah, and she tells me that she had made out with him and that he
had he fingered her. Well, you know, that sets me off because I'm already going through the the emotions of her wanting the divorce and I had let this. I'd let her hang out with this dude, much to my dismay, because we would argue a lot, and you know, not really have a good time. And I know she needed somebody that wasn't me to hang out with. And I knew this dude. He would come to our house and we'd occasionally drink and stuff, and sometimes she'd go over there.
Yeah I know, but she told me that, and then a few minutes later, seeing how angry it made me, she said, oh, she was lying about the freeing apart, they just made out. Well, it didn't really calm me down, and I got her to leave the house because I wanted to be alone, and I started drinking, and I said some things I shouldn't have that got me landed in the looney bin for four days. And then I come home. She's taking the kids and left the house.
How many kids you got, man?
Two?
Two? How old are you?
I'm twenty one, you're twenty one?
Yes, sir?
Holy shit? Man is gone? All right man?
And so you know, I get back, I'm like freaking out because being trapped in Newly been for four days and no phone, no nothing. You want to see your kids. That's the one thing you want to do when you get out. And that's what I was banking on. I thought we were going to come back. I was going to talk about it with her, because you know, four days is a long time to cool off, and the emotions were high with me. But I get back in it.
Oh my gosh, I get so so mad, and I probably the only people I can which is my own family. And for two days I am alone in the house with nothing really to do. And eventually my father comes all the way down from Ohio and he stays with me and he helps me pack up my things and all that. And then on the twenty fifth, my wife comes to the house to talk and stuff and have me see the kids and all that, and my dad's there,
and you know, we're talking. I'm saying, well, I just want to have a good relationship with you for the kids and all that.
And I meant it.
I meant it, and she was like, yeah, I understand. I'm sorry this all happened. I wish it didn't have to go this way. But then we go into our what was our bedroom, the master bedroom, while my father is out in the living room to talk privately, and that leads one thing leads to another, and we have intimate relations again.
Way you know, yeah, I know, I know.
Okay, You're okay, dude, Wait, you're you're okay.
As of today, we are not legally separated or divorced. We are still legally married.
Okay. So she cheated on you with this guy, and then you blew up on her. So she takes the kids and leaves, and then you say a bunch of you you you what you probably said you were gonna kill yourself and then or or hurt someone or something, and then you go to the mental you get locked up, and then you get out to see the kids. And the first time that you meet up with her again.
You got you go into a different room while your kids and their grandfather are in another room, and then you and her have sex.
Yes, it was.
That's so funny.
I know it was. It was, you know, like the last time, and you know, I was feeling emotional and she was feeling emotional, and you know, we didn't know if we're ever gonna see each other like that again, and so.
You know we did it.
Okay, Well after that, you know, she leaves and.
You guys, you guys sound you guys sound in love.
By the way, Oh wait till you get too late to the later. Stay just wait, it gets better. So she leaves right and about a day or two later, you know, we spend me and my dad. It was in Alabama, but me and him, we spend a day and a half driving from Alabama to Florida, back and forth, back and forth to pick up most of my stuff.
And it only took about two trips. And so I started, I believe I started living in Florida, you know, as much as this kind of sounds, you know, silly or whatever, I'm living at my mom's house because I needed to leave. I need to get out of there. One because her father had sent me threatening text messages and he has threatened to murder me before in a bunt in front of a family. So I left because I was scared and that I need that we needed space. So I'm
in Florida talking over the phone. She you know, she says, oh, well, I notice that you're changing and you're giving me everything I finally needed, which I'm not gonna lie. I did some things I probably shouldn't have in the relationship, or I should have tried to do more. I don't fault I don't fault her for that, but you know, she's telling me these things. She's saying, I accept you. You know, I want to I want to make it work. I want to try again. And I'm and I'm like, yeah,
I want to as well. You know, I can get over her making out with her coworker. Well, about a week later, she calls me. She says, if I remember. Quickly, She's like, would you can I trust you? And I'm like yeah, And so she knows. She kind of drills it even more, like are you sure I can trust you? I was like, what have I done to not to
lose your trust? Now? And so she agrees to that right. Well, then she says, I'm gonna have to I need you to listen, not say a word, and I need to start from the beginning, and so you know, I'm I've been trying to change the whole time. So instead of interjecting like I usually do, and all that, I listened.
I shut my mouth for once, And so I'm listening and she's talking about the party that they had because her and her coworker are both in the Air Force as of right now and whenever all this happened, So they were having a going away party for one of their coworkers because he got kicked out because he did a shitty job. So it started there. And you know, at this point, I was used to her going over to his dorm to you know, drink and you know, relax and unwind, and she'd always come back. So I
k didn't I didn't know. I didn't know what was going on. But them two had gone out to eat with him. They left together in the same car, and he doesn't have a car, nor does he have a license, so it's her driving, excuse me, and she drives him back to hurt his dorm, and you know, he's like, oh, come on, let's come come drink with me, you know all that, And she's like, no, I don't know. Well then she reluctantly agrees and she goes up and they start drinking. Keep in mind, she is not twenty one.
She should not be drinking. He is committing a crime in the US.
MJ okay, okay, all right.
So and so they're okay, continue sorroser.
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man, you're losing me a little bit. I'm trying to understand.
Where I understand.
It's a lot to take in.
Where where's okay, where are you guys at right now? Like? What's like? What's that like? So this is all after she cheated on you with him at the beginning, and now the three of you guys are all hanging out.
No, I'm not anywhere. I'm at home taking care of our two kids because I quit my job to be a stay at home father, okay, and I stayed at home with them. I currently have no job, no income, and she drained all the bank accounts on the twenty second, so I wasn't able to even buy anything.
M hm.
Mm hmmm. Where is she now? As you guys are still married.
She is having relations with him. Oh the house that we both bought.
Oh, so where are you?
I am in Florida with my mother with the kids.
Nope, where are the kids?
The kids are ten minutes away from me with a man that will kill me if I go anywhere near him.
Dude, what yep, she.
Left him here for a week. It was a plan.
Oh wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait, So the kids are with her?
No, the kids are with their granddad, not my father, my soon to be ex father in law.
Okay, see, your children are with your ex wife's dad, Yes, sir, And your ex wife is off, has a new life with the guy that her coworker guy mm hmm. And the great why is the grandpa going to kill you?
Because our arguments got physical. That's why I'm not gonna I'm not gonna beat around the bush. I'm not gonna try to hide. Well this happened this half yep, yep, Uh, it wasn't just me. I do have videos of her starting to hit me first. But I won't lie. I started it to sometimes, and I regret my actions. My actions are very childish. I plan to never let that half again. It will not happen again. I'll do whatever I need to go therapy, take medicine if I need to. It won't happen.
Dude, dude, what's your name is? Jacob? Yes, sir Jacob. Oh, my god man, Jesus Christ.
Yes, a lot. I've actually been waiting to talk to you for for quite a while.
I'm so I'm so not the guy that you need to be talking to right now.
No, no, I know.
I just it's talking to people helps me get it, helps me calm down, helps me get it off my chest. I don't expect any actual therapy advice for me, just you know, life advice. Ione to talk to.
M oh Jesus Christ Man. Well listen, man, I listen. I uh look good good luck, good luck with good luck with the case. I hope you. I hope everyone in this situation. I hope these fucking kids have a good life. I hope everything works out with everyone, you know. So that's that's about it, man, Is there anything? Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Uh No, sir, h that's I'm just glad I got to talk to you. It's unfortunately I wasn't able to tell my full story that I understand.
What's what's left of the story.
Well, she we were talking for about a month since everything happened to twenty second, and you know, she was giving me a second chance, this and that, and then just one day, one day, she just one hundred and
eighties and says she's choosing him. And the whole time she's making up excuses and saying because she would tell me not to listen to my family's advice or any of my friend's advice, but she told me that she's listening to everybody and saying, yes, she shouldn't give me a second chance, and all that, I mean, I understand, But the fact that she gave me hope and we were planning things and this and that, that's what really
irks me. And so she well completely cut me out and all that, and yeah, she's with.
Him now, Okay, Well listen, Jacob, you should go talk to a real therapist and I will. You know. I hope everyone figures this stuff out. I hope your kids are okay.
I hope.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go? No, thank you, all right, Well, take care of Jacob. Good with uh, with existence?
I struggle every day?
Okay, by Jacob, bye bye. Oh my god, that was so much. Well that was a lot. I'm not he. That was I? He that was he was he? He was kind of talking like I was the judge on this case. Thank god. I'm not a judge. Thank god. I'm not a real therapist or a judge or a lawyer. I've been playing the Phoenix right Ace Attorney games where I can pretend to be a lawyer, and that's fun. It's fun to pretend to be things. I'm sorry. That's all.
That's all I have to say after that. All right, Hello, hey man, you texted me and you said my name is Brian. I'm forty one. I think I played arc Raiders with you about two months ago, and we randomly got matched into a group together, and I wanted to know if it was actually you. That's what you texted me.
Right, yeah, that's right. Is this actually ghek or I don't know if this is a screener.
I'm sorry, no, no, this is me, and I just want to let you know. I don't I don't play that game, so it wasn't me.
Oh okay, yeah, no, it might have been an imposter, because it was totally someone that sounded like you.
Wait, really they do they have like a username like it like pretended to be me.
Not necessarily, and even then I thought it was you the whole time, and I even asked him, like I brought it up and the guy kind of went afk afterwards and he comes back and he's like, oh, sorry, my roommate was bothering me, and I thought that it was like all a ruse and it felt like I got streamsniped. So I ran through it in my mind and I was like, oh, maybe he was streaming to his discord or something like that and you were playing the game anyway sort of thing. So I was just
I was really taken aback by it. But the guy sounded exactly like you, And I was like, have you ever heard of Therapy Get Go? And his answer was I may know that name, and I'm just like it's got to be him.
Wait, I don't, I've never even I don't even know what arc Raiders is. What is that?
Oh? Really? Yeah? No, it's like a it's a third person like a shooter game, like a looter shooter, extraction shooter kind of game, kind of like an Escape from tarca kind of thing.
Okay, cool, cool cool? Hm, wait can I ask you another question?
Sure?
Yeah, you're forty.
One, I am.
Yeah.
And I also went to one of your shows when he came by, so.
Oh really where Gecko Tour?
It was the Austin show. I actually I if you remember the in Austin, Texas where the guy he wanted to like light something on fire, dude old employer. Yeah, I was sitting right next to that guy.
Oh yeah, and his mom came on. That was too.
Yeah, it was something weird like that. But uh and then we were all like, oh he's and he had to call that uh the one lawyer we tried to calling the lawyer on the show if you could get an interview, Yeah, good time.
Dude, this dude, fuck dude, this whole episode, this whole episode of the podcast, and this whole thing. I'm like, what the fuck am I doing with my life anymore? Like with his whole just the whole the universe of you know what's funny? I really like I say this on the show. I say this to people. A lot of people are like, oh, do you think people are making stuff? Up to get on the show or you
know whatever. I really don't. I really, I genuinely I have spoken to eight million people I've been but I genuinely believe that everything is as crazy and stupid as it presents itself to be. I don't think anyone's I like I'm the I'm actually I'm truly the opposite of a conspiracy theorist. I really feel like everyone and everything is exactly I believe everything a complete face value.
Yeah, I could see that. I mean, you, at a certain point, you just got to kind of learn to roll with the punches and stuff. I mean I never even really had the courage to, you know, sign up and you know, talk on the at the live show or anything like that, even though I saw you. I think too when I went to TwitchCon twenty twenty two and You're at like the front of twitch Con and I'm like, man, I should say something now, and I
never did kind of thing. And it's like I've had multiple opportunities, and even just now, I mean I text you, I'm like, there's no way he calls me back kind of thing, and hey, here I am, and suddenly I'm and it's actually you. It's kind of a surreal moment, So I appreciate that.
So you're forty one, right, Can I ask you some questions?
Yeah? Sure, certainly.
How does life play out? Does everything end up okay in the end? What happens?
Well, first off, I'm not really retired or anything like that, but you know, after thirty, I would say, your knees don't really work kind of the same way. And after you fit for a really long time, it's like, you know, it takes a longer time for you to get recovered from the process of everything. You know, I still play
Dance Dance Revolution all the time. I've been playing that game now for like twenty six years, and on days where I play a lot of songs back to back to back, I mean, you know, it takes me like two or three days to recover now, as opposed to when I was younger, I could just you know, stay there all night on twenty dollars kind of thing.
Mm hmmmmm. What else am I going to say? Oh? Do you what? So what's your life like? Tell me about you, Brian.
So, I'm actually an un employed game developer and I've worked in the industry now for like ten twelve fifteen years something like that. I don't even really keep track, but finding work is really really tough, and so, believe it or not, I'm actually at the point where I'm thinking of this is so random. I've only really kind of had this stuff for like the last couple of
last couple of days. I'm getting the point where I'm considering starting to stream myself, but I kind of want to take like more of the burnt peanut route, where it's you know, if i show up and I'm forty one and I'm like the new kid on the block, no one's going to watch my shit. I'm not that interesting.
But in general, if you know, I'm going to get out there and try to be someone, I feel like hiding behind a little bit of animidity is at least valid for something, right, Like, if you just do a rip off of something that's already pre existing, it's out there, everybody's gonna be like, oh, they're going to call me out on it sort of thing. So I got to kind of put my own spin on it and just find the bravery to get out there and do it. Sort of. But that's that's kind of my line I
thought lately, And I mean so being unemployed definitely fucking sucks. Man. Like, I went back to school back in like, you know, I'm forty one, that's already out of the bag. So I lived through the the I guess you'd call it like the new Great Depression of like two thousand and seven and like the big economic downturn of all that. When I was fresh out of high school, I decided
to just join the workforce. And after realizing that I didn't want to spend my whole life work in retail and sales, I was like, fuck it, I'm just going to go back to school for something I was already kind of good at. And at the time, I was making maps and counterstrike for all my friends to come play on a server, and everybody was kind of playing my COUNTERSHEK map. So I was like, man, I should
go to school for this. So I went to one of those game art kind of programs, not like a diploma mill, but a legit school, got my degree, set my sights on working at like a target company, like you know, as everybody kind of doeses like oh I want to work for bun Joe, to work for Blizzard or wherever you want to work or whatever, and I ended up getting that kind of a job and it just it took me back as soon as I made it, you know, and I was like, oh, man, I'm finally
working at this place I really wanted to be at my whole life. And then I get laid off like a year and a half into the job, and so that's as good as it gets.
So when when were you last employed?
So I was last employed. I think it was like, I want to say, four or five months ago. I was working a contract on some like crypto NFT MMO that I'm not exactly like most proud of that I worked on because I don't really associate with that kind of stuff, But hey.
You know, what's the fucking deal with that? Is that stuck? Because I thought like yeah, because back in like twenty twenty one, there was a lot of like NFT Crypto bullshit and a lot of like video game people were like, Oh this is these are gonna be the new whatever. We're going to use web three technology to make a fucking house in World of Warcraft work worth real money. Like are people still doing that?
Yeah? And you know I saw that Zillo ran a promo recently with World of Warcraft where you can like look for a home using Zillo, which, if you don't already know, Zillo is what you would use if you were trying to buy a home for real. Yeah, but World of Warcraft now, I guess you can buy a home in World of Warcraft using Zillo, which is preposterous
and completely random. Like, good luck convincing me of that back in two thousand and six, that like that would be the future of stuff, right, But as far as the NFT stuff goes, I feel like that was a lot of fluff from you know, the Metaverse and all that kind of stuff, Like just look at what happened with Meta and Mark Zuckerberg and all that, where they were like, oh, yeah, this is gonna be the future
of gaming and everything. But when you think about it, when you watch the Game Awards, what crypto NFT game are you most excited for next? Literally you couldn't name me one of them. No one cares, no one gives a shit.
Well that's because you know, like, Okay, you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna make an analogy here and tell me, tell me what you think. So I'm a Nintendo guy mainly, I mean I play Xbox. I like, uh, you know PlayStation stuff, but I think you know Nintendo and Nintendo.
The Nintendo philosophy, I feel like, is a good general philosophy of how like society should be run where it's like Nintendo's ship has always been like technology is good for the propping up of like a good game, you know like that, like like like all the like you know, PlayStation Xbox, They're about, look how big my fucking dick is, right, and Nintendo is like, we have a nice sized dick, but we know how to fuck you know. Where it's like the tech the tech industry is like, how can
we make the dick as big as humanly possible? Because bigger dick equals better fucking But but Nintendo is like, no, the the the fucking technique is better to work on than the dick itself. And I apply this the philosophy of of of that to like everything like like AI. But I already went on a whole rant, bay, I
won't go on another one. But like the tech industry in general, I feel like has this thing where the technology is like, oh, we can make better technology, but at the end of the day, it has to prop up especially in the entertainment industry, and that's a prop up good stories and like just shit that's like shit that's like good for humans, like good stories.
Fun game game design with game design stuff, right, Like it's about designing a really good closed loop system, something that's like fun and exciting to play. So when you play something like Stardou Valley, that's a good example of that, where it's it's in a nice controlled environment, you generally know how your next day is going to go. The mechanics are relatively easy to learn, and you enjoy the
sessioning of it kind of thing. Right. I think that those things are super novel and that's one of those things that Nintendo always seems to get right. But Nintendo has also been in this game for like one hundred plus years. Was one hundred and fifty years back in the day when they were making like trading card games.
You know, I would almost say like in ancient times because I wasn't alive back then, and there's like eighteen fifty or something they were founded the Nintendo origins, when you know it's only like trading card decks or something like that. But I think where I'm going with this is like they have really honed in on like this is the difference between Western media and something like the
Japanese media influence, like Japan and Nintendo. They identify that this is more of like a craft and a discipline, and they approach all their stuff with game design to be like, all right, we know what functionally works, but how can we put our twist on it, simplify it and make it appeal to the masses. And they have time and time again approved that they can, you know, continuously deliver on that sort of promise. I find it to be really inspiring as well.
So yeah, well that's why a lot of that, like NFT crypto bullshit didn't yeah catch on because the technology. Yeah, technology is cool when it like serves a purpose of some kind, but the people are using it in ways it doesn't.
Like when you hear these phrases like on chain, what the fuck does on chain mean? Like, oh, there's a ledger, okay, Well, what does that really mean to me at the end of the day, Like oh you own this? Okay? Well, if I go play Overwatch and get the new Curaco skin, I earned my skin there, right, And some people are like, yeah, you should be able to bring that skin over to Fortnite or whatever, and it's like, but who's actually asking for that? Is there a real market for that night?
And I bet you there is, but it's probably like less than five percent of all gamers everywhere give a shit about that.
Maybe, Well, the thing I think, like do one thing that like tech bros don't understand is that one thing tech bros don't to say is that just because a thing can logistically be done, it doesn't mean like like like uh okay a thing's integration in society. The barrier is usually less a logistical barrier and more a barrier
of cultural and social acceptance. And so it's like, yeah, you know, logistically you could theoretically do all these things with this technology, but culturally and socially, do people actually fucking want to.
Or are they receptive to it? Like, you know, one of the noble things I've heard is that, you know, games are a medium that could change the world, and you know, we can eliminate bullying if we just hit them before it that wouldever even become the idea in their mind kind of thing. But I don't really know if I buy into that. I mean that once you start to really really dig into that. That's kind of it goes down that like video games and violence kind of thing. You know, I'm not a big proponent. I
don't believe that video games cause violence. If anything, they are more of like a like a safe outlet for you know, personal expression or whatever it is that you
want to do. Like if you just want to show up in GTA and steal cars and baying hookers, you know, sure you can do that, right, But when you think of like the big picture of all video games that are out there on a long enough timeline, any game idea that you have, if you if you think to yourself, Okay, I think I know what a cool game idea is. If you wait long enough and just watch the scheme store Paige long enough, you will probably see a game
similar to the game idea that you had. Because everyone is trying almost anything to try to make a quick buck or make anything work. If you're like, oh, it would be powder Puff Girls, but it's going to be uh in World of Warcraft Okay, yeah, sure that game might be out there, who knows, But.
Have you played the game Bully?
I have not. No, that's like Rockstar is one of their og titles.
I think great game.
Yeah, playing that the other year you were playing on stream?
Right, No, I haven't streamed in like, uh six years.
Oh. For some reason, I thought i'd seen you playing it. I could have swear I saw someone playing it recently.
But yeah, you keep mistaking. You keep you have the state, keep mistaking other people from me. Maybe you I know, Maybe I don't know. Maybe you just maybe just you want to see me, you want to connect with me. Here we are, we did it. We connected.
It's like a high five through the internet.
It's like a high five for the internet. You're I appreciate you because you're the You're the easiest person to talk to of the people I've talked to today.
Well, I hope I could uplift the spirits a little bit. And uh, I really appreciate it, Like, you know, you reaching out to me like this is another one of those winking nods that maybe I should actually probably start to stream myself and see what I can put together and yeah, try it out, you know, so.
Please please Brian. Uh, pleasure talking to you. Brian. I appreciate you.
Man.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
I've waited so long for this moment and I just want to say gg right, like good game gg. That's it man, GG beautiful.
Hey, thank you Brian, see you are in the universe.
Man, appreciate it. Have a good one.
Well. Thank God for Brian. Thank God for Brian for allowing us to end this podcast today on a torrential vibe shift. Brian's a good guy. That was the Therapy Ecko podcast. Folks, thanks for listening. I'm Lyle, I'm a Gecko. I'm on tour. If you live in the Pacific Northwest, if you live in Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, San Francisco, Minneapolis, I'm coming to all those cities. I'm coming to more cities than just that, by the way, I'm coming to like twenty eight cities, a ton of cities. I would
love to see you there. Go to Therapy geckotour dot com or check the link in the episode description to do that. If you don't like hearing the ads on the podcast and you want to support the podcast and get an ad free listening experience and also support the pod, of course, you can go to Patreon dot com slash Lyle forever. Uh there's also uh some bonus episode. There's lots of bonus episodes of calls that are not on the main feed. You can check out too. Those are fun.
I don't have anything else to say, but I feel good and I hope you have a beautiful Sunday or Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday or Friday or Saturday, whenever you're listening to this. Ghak bless you and UH see you guys around the universe. Goes on the line taking your phone calls every night, never goes. I's teaching you. Cloud on the Memorial line is not an expert.