Hey, everybody, it's Lyle. Just a reminder that I am going on tour to do therapy Gecko live in several cities across the United States, and I would love to see you there. I will be interviewing random folks from the audience up on stage and absolutely anything could happen. It will be very fun, very terrifying, and very geko wee. You can find the link to get tickets in your city in the episode description. Okay, let's get into the podcast. Hello, Hello, Hello, how are you?
Uh? You know, I'm pretty amazed I got in. I know everyone says.
That, but well, here's the thing. Somebody who's going to get in? So why not you?
Hmm my thoughts exactly. That's why I spammed the call.
I guess what's going on with you, Tristan?
Well, so I know you only usually pick one thing to talk about, So I either wanted to talk to you about my hypochondria that stems from a bad mushroom trip years ago, or I kind of been going through a rough time lately, moving cities and having to break up with my fiance.
So what hypochondria is when you when you think that you are ill all the time, correct, right.
Yeah, So.
I was experimenting with a lot of psychedelics, mushrooms, d MT, and I was having a pretty good time. I know, I know, psychedelics don't really cause the issues, they kind of bring them out of people. And I guess I had some hidden anxiety, well, a lot of hitting anxiety about death. I guess that I didn't really know how
to cope with. So I wasn't aware of when I took some some honestly a low dose of mushrooms, and I think I was, you know, this isn't really diagnosed, this is more of a self diagnosis, but I mean I felt like I went into what you could call a psychosis for maybe six months afterwards.
What kind of psychoses?
Well, see, I guess you know, so after the mushroom trip, I thought every day afterwards, for six months straight, I thought I was gonna die every day, and I thought I thought the mushrooms were poisoned, and I thought I had fungus growing in my head. And it was really, honestly, really really really tough.
To deal with.
And I went to I went to multiple I spent a lot of money because of my hypochondria.
You were about to say, you went to multiple.
Oh, I went to multiple for the first thing. I went to multiple doctors, neurologists. I've had CT scans on my head, I had you know, X rays, I had some talks with therapists, and there's there was nothing wrong with me, absolutely nothing wrong with me. It was all just anxiety. But I've dealt with that anxiety in my own way. I never I don't see a therapist now, and the therapist I saw, I felt like, didn't really
help me too much. I kind of took it in my own hands and I think I'm doing pretty good with it, but it still bugged me, like right now, and I know it's ridiculous, but right now I feel like I have rabies. I know, I know RABI takes a long time to present itself. And if I if I fix it, if I fixate on something like say I might think I have rabies, I tend to see it and everything around me, or like if I'm watching a show or a movie or I read something and
they bring up rabies. I mean, it just floods my head with like that.
Here again, So you went to a therapist for this?
No, Initially I did. This was I'm twenty six. Now, this happened maybe when I was twenty two.
So you said initially that sixah, Okay.
I didn't feel like it was well, I mean I think I guess I wasn't really like one hundred percent with them, to be honest with you, because I felt like I've had I don't know, I felt I kind of felt like they were a little condescending, and I felt like I was when I was younger. I thought I was going to be judged more for doing you know, I thought they were going to blame it all on the drugs, the psychedelics.
Okay, so you thought that they were condescending. What what exactly did they say or do to make you feel like they were condescending?
Well, the lady I went to, you know, I probably went to the wrong the lady I went to kind of like was trying to get me to draw pictures about.
How I felt.
Okay then, and I thought I thought that was a little childish. I don't know, maybe, I mean, you know, I'm not a therapist, so but I kind of thought that was like maybe a little you know, like I thought I was being treated more like a kid.
Mm hmmm. You know, I'm not a therapist either, and I I I guess I would agree with you that that that that I could see why you would feel like that's ineffective.
I did.
I've talked to a billion people who they go to therapy like once and my fucking myself a clue to man, where like, they go to therapy once and it doesn't work out for them, and so they quit all together. I did the same thing, currently, the same thing. But you have an issue you and it's funny, it's it's interesting to me because you are aware, like you know this is hypochondria, because you know that you are a hypochondriac,
Like you know that you have this issue. You're self aware about it, and you wouldn't be calling me to talk to me about your hypochondria if you weren't aware about it. But yet while you are simultaneously self aware, fully aware that you have hypochondria, fully aware that you over analyze and have high anxiety about you know, knowing that it's ridiculous that you have think you have rabies, Yet it sounds like that does not help you with the fact that you have anxiety about having raveies.
No, and you know any little medical so I'm okay with, like if I broke my finger, any physical pain, I'm okay with. But when it becomes internal, well, the rabiest thing is just I mean, I know, the rabiest thing is just kind of crazy, to be honest with you. But anything like, I know, I had a stomach pain that was I found out was related to blanking.
Gee, what is it?
Erd?
It's just like an over production of acid, stomach acid. But I mean, for a month, I was obsessing that I might have had I might have like stomach cancer, and I would I mean I would lie awake at night and just like think I was gonna die, and I go get all these crazy the tests, you know, like X ray CT scans. You know, when I feel like I feel like, you know, normal people kind of just like deal with it or they take some medicine
and they're cool with it. And then I always seem to like go to these extreme measures and it hasn't really affected my relationships too much, I think, besides, you know, them thinking that maybe I'm a little crazy.
Interesting. I uh again, I know I said this just now, But the contradiction of you knowing and stating how ridiculous this is, but that self awareness not helping you curb your anxiety is very fascinating to me.
Yeah, it doesn't because, like I said, so, I mean the rabies thing came about maybe like two or three months ago, and so I think by now I would have been dead if I had rabies. But you know, it's just like I got a small scratch from an outside cat that wasn't acting weird at all. Yeah, and as but I saw that little bit of blood out of my skin, and then the rabies fere just takes over me because one time. You know, it's hard for
me too. I can't really be around people who talk about medical issues that might be life threatening, yeah, if they're not, unless it's like because if they say a symptom, my mind focuses on that symptom and I'll get a little crazy about it, you know. I mean, like nowadays, I think I'm okay keeping it internally, but I mean I'll just like sixty eight over fixate over something like that, and I kind of just like I'm just out of it,
you know. I Mean I just have this like like my nurse friend told me about the rabies not showing for three months, So after that, I got scratched by the cat, and then then it's a downward spiral from there.
So let me ask you this. Forgive me if any the questions I ask about this thing are ignorant because I don't I don't know, and they'll come from a genuine curiosity. So you are are out here, you know, you said you spend a lot of money on doctors, Uh, you know, trying like getting scans, making sure you don't have rabies, making sure you don't have gourd and whatnot. You know, all these all these sort of things that
you're anxious about possibly having. But yet you're again fully self aware that you are are are are a hypochondriac, and that the thing that you actually know for sure that that you do have wrong with you, that you're a hypochondriac. Sounds like it's the one thing that you are not spending a lot of money going to doctors to well instead of instead of the rabies and whatnot.
You know, the one's ever really put put it that way to me before. Yeah, that's unord percent true.
Uh hmm, well I think you're right, So maybe it comes no go ahead.
I was about to say, maybe maybe maybe it comes from a place of I don't know, maybe because I feel like I know I have hypochondria, I don't know, I don't know.
So I mean, look, next time, kit, would you do you think you have it in you too? Next time you're like, oh shit, I'm pretty sure I have rabies. Oh shit, I'm pretty sure I've gird o. Shit, I'm pretty sure I have whatever the thing is you think
you have. Instead of you know, directing your attention to going to a doctor to make sure you don't have that, you like think you know, you think a higher level step up to be like, oh shit, this is actually a legitimate symptom of a thing I actually have, which is this hypochondria. Let's go make sure we're dealing with that.
Do I think I have an enemy to do that?
Yeah, that's the question.
I don't know why it's so hard to say yes, but yeah, Well.
Because I know you had this experience with the fucking kindergarten teacher therapist and that maybe turned you off, which I get, dude. But I'll say this, and I say this hypocritically because I myself I have not gone to therapy probably shuit, but because I also have had experiences where I've been in therapy and been like, what the fuck is fucking is this shit? But I've talked to so many people on the show and in real life that they're like, I went to a therapist, he was terrible,
they maybe draw fucking pictures. Went to another therapist, they didn't listen to me. Went to another therapist, they didn't help me it all the way. To another therapist, they were super unhelpful. Went to another therapist, they made it worse. Went to another therapist, changed my life, never felt better type of shit. I hear that all the time of people. They just have to go through a billion different people. So I I, you know, and again I'm saying this
super hypocritically because I haven't done it myself. But dude, I don't know, if felin if you're having this legitimate issue, you know, it sounds like it could help you to, you know, find find a legitimate help for it.
Yeah, I think you're right. I guess it's just the constant, like you know, like you find a therapist, they don't work out for you, and then you try again and it doesn't work out for you, and then maybe you try a third time and it doesn't work out for you and then you're kind of just over it.
Yeah.
I guess, like I said, you know, I guess I take maybe some pride in dealing with it myself. Oh okay, you know I you know, so like after the six months of like really I mean, I mean I was
really crazy if I look back on it. I mean, after the six months of like literally just balling my eyes out every day because I thought I was going to die, I hit I hit a point where I and that was after like they couldn't find anything wrong with me, you know, after that point, I kind of I joined martial arts, and I try to lose weight, and I try to get my mind right through that, and I try to read, and I try to study
myself and and I'm always trying to be introspective. But it's just always seems to be the one hump I can't get over. But I don't know, maybe I kind of wear it like a you know, like a how do I want to say it, like a scarred badge?
Sure, yeah, the whole you know, I can handle it myself kind of thing. I don't need to fucking go to therapy. I don't need anyone to help me.
Right, I got it.
Right.
And I think problems like if you're depressed or if you're anxious, you know, mostly everyone today is pretty much I mean, I think that's stuff, even though it really sucks to deal with, helps you to relate to other people.
Yeah, I agree with you on that front, that it helps you to relate to other people. That's that's I mean, weirdly part of the reason why I like why I like doing the shows because I like talking to people about I mean, just in my personal life, I have a weird fascination with like if I'm like looking at people just in my regular life, like and being like, what's wrong with them? What is their what's their fucking deal?
Because everyone everyone's got a deal. You know, you stand in line in fucking Walmart and you go up to the cash people natural hershey bar, and you're like, what's this what's this guy's deal? What were you gonna say?
Well, I was going to ask, do people naturally just open up to.
You sometimes in life?
Yeah?
Sometimes sometimes it was just in Mexico, is the.
Get go persona a little different than the real live persona?
No, I I was gonna say it was just in Mexico and I met a bunch of people at a hostel. I felt like I got into some interesting conversations there, just out of like a again, like a natural weird curiosity of like what the fuck is going on with people because it helps inform my own what the fuck is going on with me type of thing, right.
Right, But it does seem to me that you're wha. I mean, I'm talking to you right now. You're very easy to talk to, and I think that probably does come across really well in real life. And I wanted to say, you know, I live in Florida and I really wanted to go to your Miami show, but I don't think I can make it. So I'm bummed out.
Are you not going because you're afraid that you'll catch COVID?
You know, I've actually had COVID three times and I wasn't too worried about that for some reason.
Really, Okay, now that's fascinating to me because it's okay, Can I just say it's I it's a little bit funny that, like the thing that's on the news every single day that's like, oh, everyone's getting fucking dying from this thing. Everyone's gonna get this thing like didn't phase you at all, but like it's a niche type of thing that like rabies, that's what gets you. That's interesting.
Yeah, I don't know why. I really don't know why that is. I don't know. It's because I actually have it. I have to deal with it. I made you know what it is. You know what it probably is, Lyle is It's probably a fear of the unknown and probably a fear of lack of control.
Interesting have you? Is that a realization that you have have kind of always known under the underneath the surface.
I know then the unknown might have kind of hit me just now. But the lack of control, I know I have an issue with that. And I know the biggest lack of control in your life is pretty much how and when you die.
Yeah, yeah, that's a thing that you just have to come to terms with. You unfortunately cannot beat that.
Right, And I guess I haven't quite come to terms with it yet, even though even though I want to pretend I do. You know, hm, you know, I think all the silly stuff, like you know, there's not going to be a tomorrow. You've got to live your fullest to you know today, I mean silly in the sense that like when I say things, I don't know if I actually believe it, or like you know, oh it's you know, you die some day, or it's going to be all right because you die some day, or you know stuff like that.
Yeah, that's it's an interesting well you know what the well, Okay, I'm gonna say this. You know what I think is, I'm gonna sa I'm gonna use this word. I think is the cool thing about that problem. I don't know if cool is the right word, but it is.
The word problem.
No, not the hypochondria, but just the coming to I guess I guess that you consider it as part of the hyper country. The coming to terms with the with the fact that you're going to die. Is what I like about that problem is every sing person that has ever fucking lived, every single person that is around you, every single person that ever has lived. I was gonna say I ever will live. That might not be the case, but just everyone, every single fucking person has to deal
with it. It's like, if there is one thing that every fucking living thing has in common, it's that. And I weirdly find that kind of beautiful that we all have that problem, whether we are rich, poor, whatever fucking whatever our life has been, like, however old we are, we all have that problem, and I find that kind
of beautiful. That's been my personal way of addressing that, is like, oh, this thing is really scary, but it is also the thing that connects me to every other human being on the planet.
So when you you know, whe awake and I even think of dying, does that make you feel more comfortable, just more comfortable with the idea, or more connected to everybody? Because I think, well, let me hear your answer first. Actually, now tell me.
About tell me what you think. I need time to think about what question?
Because I think, you know, maybe and maybe this goes back to the hypochondria and the fear of it. Maybe I wouldn't be so scared if I felt like that connected us more. But I always feel like, you know, you kind of die individually, regardless of what happens afterwards. And I, you know, the I guess I'm sitting on a blank now, but you know, I guess it's never been a real comfort to me that we all have that connection, or we all have that connection.
Is it something you've even because when people asked you go ahead, well, I just say.
You know, when people when people die, I mean, maybe it's the outlook that everyone says about it, you know, because regardless of what people believe, and when people other people die, they know, they're like, you know, I mean, we're going to miss that person forever. There's a lot of crying, but it's never really like, you know, hooray. I mean, I'm not saying it should be like this, but hooray they're dead.
You know.
I mean, it's all negative views around it, like horrible tragedy, regardless of age.
Well, have you like this idea that it is a thing that connects us all, this idea that it's a thing that gives life value at all? Really?
Is that?
Is that an idea that you've sat with at all?
You know?
I asked that genuinely, that that does that?
Does death give life value?
Yeah?
Yeah, I think it does. Well, it does give value, of course, yes, But I guess, well, maybe then the lack of fear is too. Besides the lack of control is maybe I just don't feel like I've lived my life super well yet. M hm.
Mm hmm.
You know, sometimes I think I got things going on, go ahead. Well, sometimes I think I have things going on right, and you know, and then something you know, well, like all all the time in life, something comes out of nowhere, or you know, things happen in your life that aren't very good, and you kind of just like and I still know where I'm at right now, I go, you know, think things kind of just you think you're doing well and then you're not.
What is your uh the question I was gonna asked was you said, you feel like the scary thing is okay, maybe you're not living your life well enough. What what does your life look like when you are living it?
Well, Well, it's I know what it's not. It's not.
Well, I'd like to say, you know, just living comfort. You know, actually, ile, if I lived my life well, it would be probably you know, somewhere in a mountain in a cabin or something.
Yeah, in a mountain in a cabin, I think. So.
I mean, here's the thing though, I'm not very like a handsy type of dude. So maybe with some electricity, I wouldn't mind that.
You're tried living and hopefully.
Hopefully a family. Have I tried living in the mountains?
Now?
Why not?
If?
If that is if that is the true answer, to that question, right.
I don't know if it is the true answer. I'm not sure.
All right, well you said you all right, well can I bring this up? You said that you know what it's not.
Huh, Well, what it's not is I think I don't know what it's not. I was gonna say what it's not is being happy all the time, because I don't think anyone can be happy.
All the time.
So I think that that's kind of like, you know, I say that because when when when you ask people what do you what do you want from life or anything like that, they always say I just want to be happy. But I don't think that lasts often. I mean, by the ways that make you happy of course.
Yeah, yeah, I'm totally with you on that. By the way, I I think, you know, there's a gigantic spectrum of emotions to experience, and I wouldn't say happiness is more important than any of the others. So I you know, I'm I'm I understand what you say when you're saying that.
Do you mind? I mean, I don't want to take up too much of your time. I know you have all the other colors, but do you mind if I've met to you about another issue real quick.
Hmm, sure, what is it?
Is? It is?
It?
Is it kind of related to what you've been talking about.
Well, I guess I might another unknown in my life at the moment, sort of sort of you know, sort of.
What is that?
Well? And maybe I don't know if I'm making the best choices because I thought this. I thought what I was, what I what I set out to do now would make me, against my own advice, a little bit happier.
Sure, yeah, but I don't.
But you know, I got so I got one of a dream job offer for me, and I was supposed to marry this woman that I love and next year in October. And before I accepted the job, before I went to go get it, I asked if she would move with me, and she said she would, And then when I got the job, she refused to move with me, and so we kind of, I mean, it just seemed like it just ended all at once, and I decided
to go to this job. But now that I'm in the new apartment and you know what, I start work very soon, I just struggle with if you know, another another unknown in life, Like you know, when things are going good and sometimes things go bad, and I feel like I should be over the moon and really happy right now, we're at least excited, and it's just like kind of stuck in the depression of it, I guess, and I don't know if I make the right If I made the right.
Decision, the decision to move, well, to.
Move and to take a new job over spending possibly forever with somebody love.
Well, can I ask, what what is it that made you want to make the decision?
Well, I didn't want to when I was living with her. Her mom was also living there and there, and so is her sister, and I'm not I you know, it was okay, but I wanted to like go out and start our own thing. And also I didn't want to stick around in a place i'm at kind of get a job just to have a job, especially if I have an opportunity to do something in an industry I've been a part of forever. You know, I would like to wake up and not be miserable to go to work every day.
I brother, I think that's a very good reason to me. I think that's I think it's a very good reason to make that decision.
You know.
If anything, you know, whether or not you believe the decision worked out. You made it with a with a with a pretty damn good reason what you just said, especially when we're in consideration of of you know, all this, all these things that we've been talking about for the amount of time we've been talking about, you know, appreciating the value of life and wanting to do good things
with it. I mean, I mean you maybe maybe not consciously, but you made that decision with that in mind, that you wanted to improve your life, and you felt as though the move would improve your life, and so you've you made that decision, right, and so now you're at this job. But the problem is that this girl left you, right.
Yeah, I just thought, you know, I don't want to tear up over the phone. I guess I just haven't really talked about it with anybody. But you know, it sucks when you think, you know, somebody's has your back, especially if you had theirs, and they just don't, you know, they just don't want to follow through with you, and you know, it's a great opportunity. I thought it was a great opportunity for us, so I didn't even you know, I just wanted to support.
Her and stuff. Like that.
But you know, it's just one of those things where you keep you know, it's one of those things where you say, again, you know, you know whatever. You just kind of like when you talked about it to other people, you're like, you know, it's for the best and stuff like that, but sometimes you just don't know.
I think, mm hmm, yeah, I can, I can, I can. I can see why you uh, why you feel like you've been a trade. But uh, I'm sorry, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm glad. I'm actually glad we're talking about this because again I want to come back to your answer of the question of why you made the decision. It was a really it was a really good answer, man, It really was. You made the decision for a really good reason, and you made it with all of the knowledge that
you had at the time. I mean, to to make to to decide that you want to go out and try to live a life for yourself and not just kind of be shoehorned into your your your girlfriend's family's life, and and and not to you know, to pursue a job that you really feel like might make your life better. I mean, that's that's again, a good reason to make
that decision. So even if things didn't work out exactly how you wanted them to, I think it's great that you went after something that you felt like could make your life better. And I know when you're hurting, maybe you don't want to hear something that's just kind of whatever, blindly optimistic. But I do have an optimism that there is still the potential for this decision to make your life better, you know, because it still sounds like it's very early in this career.
Yeah, and I, you know, thanks for saying that. You know, it feels good to you know.
I've talked to it obviously.
I talked to a few friends about it, and I guess I just wanted to get a person who doesn't know me's opinion about it, because you know, your friends are always going to support you, and hopefully you have one see you that tell you the truth. But it was nice to get some friendly get go advice and from a person who doesn't know me compared to even though even though friends can be honest with you and
support you. I just it was, you know, it's just nice to hear from somebody who doesn't have anything to do with you.
Yeah, man, And by the way, can I just say you're you're twenty six by the way, right, Yeah, okay, we're we're we're similar ages. I I don't want to I don't wanna uh lay toxic positivity shit on you. But I in my head when I'm when you're telling me about this, I'm thinking, well, no, I'm dude, I'm thinking like, okay, you know you'd made the decision. Here's the thing about I'm I have a billion thoughts in
my head. But here's the thing about these decisions that we make, and I'm really trying to learn this myself, is that something that happens that ends up one way that's bad right now, could eventually start a string of things that lead to something that you could never have expected. So like, Okay, you made this decision to take this job, and as a result, things you know don't work out
with the current person you're with. But fucking what if you know this current job sends you to some place, you're on some airplane, you're in some meeting, you meet whatever, and you meet someone else who you're like, whoa, what the who is this person? And then you start a new relationship that's you know, you're feeling things that you never even knew were possible to feel in the old one or or and then maybe that one fucking turns
out shitty, and then fucking that fails. But then maybe that leads you to something else that's amazing in your career. Maybe you meet the fucking person in your industry that's your your hero. There's just infinite, infinite things that could happen. You have no idea if they're positive or negative, and so and everything I'm telling you is things I'm trying to tell myself. So just fucking roll with it, man, you know that's that's Yeah, you're right, that's all I gotta say.
You're absolutely right.
Well, oh, thank you, Lyle.
Yeah, man, thanks thanks for having this talk with me. I'm really uh, I feel honored that you would, you know, share all this this stuff.
Yeah. Again, I'm sorry to get so heavy at the last part there, but you know, I really it was I really appreciate. I honestly really appreciate tonight.
You know that I got in.
So it was really nice talking with you.
And yeah, uh are you going to before we go? Do you do you think that you know, kind of back to the hypochondria, stuff. Do you think you will try again to seek, you know, a legitimate type of type of treatment that.
Well.
Listen, you know, I've been listening to you a lot on Spotify, and i know one of your sponsors is Better Help, and I've kind of I've been on the side a couple of times, and I've like gotten to the point where like I'm almost finished signing up and
then I close off. So but I've been I've been definitely thinking about that, and maybe I've been thinking about that more because I've been listening to your show so much, and I just want to say, by the way too, but you know, I've heard, I've I've heard about your show and I've seen clips from it before all this stuff happened. But since this stuff has been going on, I mean, I just I almost just kind of go through the catalog every night and it really really really.
Helps me out.
So if you ever feel like I mean, you know you have your doubts too, But if you're ever doubtful that this show doesn't do anything besides provide some funny things for the Internet, You're wrong, you know, I mean, it really helps out a lot of people.
I think, thank you, brother. I you that that really genuinely does mean a lot to me. It really does, because yeah, I am man, I fucking everything I talk to you about I on this call is are things that I've had my doubts about too, So I really appreciate that, man. And you know, once again, thank you for talking to me. And I hope that you can find a therapist that is helpful to you and doesn't make you draw fucking pictures.
Thanks man. And can I say one thing to the audience before.
I go, Yes, of course, I just want to.
Say, and I've well, I guess I've learned this recently too, that if you guys ever feel stuck in any sort of situation, there's a way out, no matter how hard it is, and you can really change your lives for the better, or at least change it, you know what I mean. So that's all I want to say.
You know, in in in in thinking about everything that we've been talking about, I'm really glad to hear you say that, because you know, I know that you've you've been dealing with a lot of things and probably a lot of hopelessness, it sounds, and so I'm glad to hear you. Uh, you know, leave us with those optimistic thoughts.
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
Man, you helped a lot.
Hey, take care, Tristan, you too. Oh that was a that was a wild, wild call. That might be one of the longest calls I've taken on this show. We talked about a lot of interesting things. That was a really, really great conversation. Thank you again to Tristan for having that conversation with me. Thinking about death, thinking about life, thinking about decisions, think of a fucking think about all this ship that I'm uh, I'm thinking about all the time.
It's it's it's fun to talk to people through this stuff because it reinforces it when I think about it in my own life and my own decisions, and and I feel like, you know, when I'm thinking through a similar problem of oh, okay, well I made this decision and that didn't work out. You know, I can think, well, you fucking told this guy on the fucking podcast this thing, so I want to try to believe in it yourself. And yeah, it was just great. It was great. Thank
you Tristan for talking to me about that. And I hope he gets uh, you know, a legit person who helps him out with his hypochondria, and fuck, man, he's a young he's a young dude. We're very similar ages. And I feel like there's lots and lots and lots
of room for him to experience more. As he said, he doesn't just want to be happy all the time, and I think there's a lot of experience room for him to as he continues through his life, much opportunity for him to dive into the wide spectrum of emotions that the human experience has to offer. And I hope he soaks them all up before he dies and I die, and whoever is listening to this dies live in the moment, dear thing. I'm a get Hello.
Wait, wait, hello, is this Wile?
Yeah?
Is this Kayla? Yes?
This is Kayla. Oh wow. I've been waiting a while, so I'm excited.
What's going on with you? Man?
I am just sitting at my boyfriend's house. We are actually watching your line right now.
Oh beautiful, beautiful. It says here that you and your boyfriend have a disagreement going on. I figure you, I'm not going to read it. You could just tell me what it is, of course.
So we were driving in the car, actually listening to your life. And he was telling me a story about how he had neighbors that used to jiz in their face as masturbation, and so it's funny, but I just we've come to the disagreement on he thinks that it's a gay to do that, like it's people homosexual people. Sorry, if that's not PC.
Do it.
But I thought that would just be like a masturbating thing because you're just doing it to yourself, not like to another same sex person. So I was curious what your thoughts are on.
It, Okay, for before we get into any of that, Before we get into any of that, how what where were his neighbors masturbating where he could see it?
No, no, no, he didn't see it. He wasn't like there or anything. It was Uh, it was a conversation he had overheard when he was younger.
It was a conversation he had overheard when he was younger.
Yeah, is he there?
Is he there? Well, I'll get into like the initial question, but can I talk to him real quick?
Tucker?
You're Tucker?
Wait?
Sorry, oh wait, I need to hear this conversation. What I need I need all of the contexts he possibly has. Hey, Tucker, Hello, father G. Tucker Man, Listen, what I know that you and your girlfriend have this debate. But I'm doing all right, man. What tell me about you hearing your neighbors talk about jerking off and on their own faces when young.
Yeah, this was a very strange, out of context question that she could have asked you. But anyways, so, my my friend's mom was friends with this gay couple, and you know, we're hanging out at their firepit or whatever, and they're all drunk or whatever, and so they're pretty like open about their gainess, which is sure. And you know, I forgot how how the subject came up, but uh, yeah, he said that he like came in his own faith when he was like, you know, like a teenager or whatever.
And you know, I I said it was gay, But my girlfriend thing is it's not. But you know, tweets their own you know, I guess she holds up a pretty good argument about it, but I personally think it is.
But you know, and you know, anybody else when you said, listen, when you say you were younger, how young were you when you over?
Yeah, and you know the fact that I was younger makes it sound like it's super creepy and like, no, I just wait.
Look, look, I'm not we're not making any judgments. We're not making any judgments on the situation. I'm just trying to get empirical day to hear. How how old were you when this happened.
I believe I was in like seventh or eighth.
Grade or so.
Okay, all right, so you were you were probably masturbating at this time. Eighth grade is just typically when.
Yeah, yeah, I could.
I guess I could relate in some sense, but not not.
You know, have you ever jacked off on your own face? You ever masturbated and just on your face?
Negative? No, No, that's not a activity that I've taken exactly.
And you you believe that it is that I've known anybody.
Else that had.
Okay, all right, let me talk about let me talk to your girlfriend again.
Okay, all right, my love here.
Hello.
Okay, So you're arguing about whether or not you believe it is gay to jack off onto your own face, and what is your perspective on this? Where do you stand in this debate?
Well, I would think that if you're doing it with someone of the same sex, I think then it would be considered gay. However, doing it to yourself, so it's like masturbating. I know it's not like what normal like normally you would do, I guess, but like it's a more rare thing. But I would consider it masturbating. But now it's saying it out loud, it sounds a bit more silly.
Well, no, it's interesting because well I guess, I guess in order to be like when I think of like gay or straight, like straight would be, you know, a guy and a girl, and gay would be a guy and a guy. But if you don't, if there's no second person, then there's no it's just it just is what it is. Yes, it's master day. I agree with that. So I don't think, Okay.
Thank you, Yeah, thank you. I masturbating. It's it's arguable because the original story comes from a gay couple. So the strong point there is it is a gay thing. But however, I think, like if you're doing it to yourself alone, I just think it might be a weird setish people are just think.
By the way, I'm really curious why your boyfriend says that he doesn't jack off onto his own face. But I think he's lying because there's no other reason why you would be like so embroiled in ument in the way that you are.
I think I think so too. He has a beautiful and I want to know his skincare, But there doesn't seem too much evidence in the bathroom, so there could only be one.
By the way I'm gonna, I'll say this with the whole like, whatever is it gay thing i've Actually here's the thing I've I have not gized on my own face, but I jizz on my knees all the time, and when my GIGS comes out, it's like hot, And when I gizz on my knee, it like it feels a little bit good in the way that like like on my knee, not even in like a sexual way, like
in the way that like a hot towel does. So like I haven't done this yet, maybe I will, who knows, But I could see myself if I giezed on my own face and my jigs was like warm, it would be like a hot towel kind of sensation on my face, and that it wouldn't to me even be like a sexual thing. So no, I saw again, I'm with you. I don't even think it's a sexual thing at all. To gigs on your own face. It would just like Field call it.
I mean I can see it as like a like a therapeutic thing. I could see it enhancing your skin. Have you ever nutrients it's been proven.
Have you ever have ever?
Is that that you can do.
Like my like my vagina juice?
Yeah?
I don't. I mean maybe in the sense of like during sex, you know, you go in, you come out, you go down, But uh no, I don't. I don't usually just rub it on my face in my free time. So yeah, it is kind of more of like a I think, a rare thing to do. But I will.
Well, I'm glad we had this conversation. This felt like it was extremely productive.
Thank you.
I was hoping it would. I've been really wanting to talk to you, I think for about a about a week now, So I'm really glad I got there. It called like eighty five times. I was like, Okay, we'll get in there. We need to know. I'm glad we got your.
No, I'm I'm glad we got to sell this too, because I think a lot of people I think a lot of people were wondering, Kayla, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Thank you all for listening, and I hope you enjoyed this conversation.
Yah, bless you and tell you Tell your boyfriend it's it's fine to come on his own face. He doesn't need to feel this weird shame about it.
You're here.
I think he needs to hear it from you.
Father by Okay, what's your name again?
Tucker?
Tucker. I'll talk to you soon, Tucker.
Thank you, sir.
A couple of great guys, Kayla and Tucker. Hello, Hello, how's it going?
How's it going?
Man? Was wild?
I'm doing good? Yeah, what's up with you?
Not much? Man? My work break, dude, Uh, I'd call in while I have some time.
Oh boy, a work break?
Yeah, man, wild dude. I had a pretty interesting debate I wanted to bring up to you.
Man.
Oh yeah, what's going on?
So? I don't know if you saw from the from the call screener, but uh, me and my girlfriend had a little debate about you know, she had her opinion, I had mine, and I thought i'd bring this to your attention to tell me what I should do about this. So we've been debating. I thought about becoming a firm donor ah, And I actually took the time to go on an application and apply somewhere just to see what
would happen. And they accept in my application and told me to make an appointment and I haven't responded because I'm pretty nervous to do it.
Interesting what about it is making you nervous.
Because I'm like, I don't want to, like, I don't know how the process is going to be. Like when I go there and they just like, you know, take a sample or something like, I'm just like and then plus like if it does follow through, I'm just like, wait, well, like I'm gonna have like they wanted a photo, I do picture, like my face next to like you know, my my, you know, my sample and everything. And it
just seems like such a weird process. But but you can get paid, like I think, like like a thousand, five hundred dollars a month for it.
A month for like what do you mean a month? Like you just give them spur a monthly.
Well I guess uh, I'm reading on it. They that you would have to go like at least two to three times a week to go and give them samples. Yeah, and then monthly you'll get paid fifteen hundred. So I'm like, okay, it's really like easy money. I asked my girlfriend about it, and she said, she said, well, that's it's extra money. I mean, I you're not like cheating. I don't see
why not. And I said, well, I mean, would it be weird if I like had like a bunch of like minimes out there somewhere like that are mine but not really mine?
Mm?
And she's you know, that's the part I'm nervous about because I'm like, that seems a little weird. But then again, it's kind of not it's kind of cool.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, So so let's let's let's let's dive into it. Why what what if you could kind of put into words like take a second and search for them? What what feels weird about that?
The thing that feels weird about it? I mean, I know it's for a good cause. I know it's for a good cause, but it's just a little weird because I mean, what are the odds? You know, one day walking down the street and I just see some kids and I'm like, hey, he looks kind of like me, like, you know, like, what are the odds that I ever have? And probably like very very low. But it's just a little It just makes me nervous thinking about Like, dude, I like out there there are like means out there,
like somewhere anywhere but here. So here's the thing. So I brought it up to my girlfriend, and you know, she had her opinion, and she kind of like wanted me to do it, kind of like hyping me up, like do it, why not just try it out? And so I was like yeah, and I think I got a little two hyped up. And I was like, yeah, you know what, like I could like have like like I should have a kid in like every race like that'd be awesome. I'm like, yeah, like I should have
like a MIDI like army. And it's here saying like going too far, and they's like, no, I don't want you to do it. But now I'm like, hype kind of do it.
I don't know, are you what do you? Are you short on cash right now? No?
But okay, I mean the extra would be nice.
Okay, I mean listen, here's the thing, right, is what makes somebody a father in the modern world. Is it simply that their child came out of their own penis, or or is it the fact that they took care of that child, brought them up, They were in that child's lives. So I mean, look, if if if you if you're looking to come, there's nothing special, which ultimately it's not. There's infinite come in the universe. Come. It's not like oil. It's an infinite reoccurring resource that is
every where. The come is not very special, So you know you have come. Just spray it out all over into the universe. Make little people. People aren't that special either. Just make a bunch of them. Get a little bit of money. Money's not that special either, Just do it. Why not, dude?
I mean, who knows one of those kids can like someday like become the president and I'll be like, hey, like thinks you might contribute, like like I give so are you?
I mean you're talking about it like you're keeping in touch with these kids. I mean you're you're throwing your coum into a file and then you're never getting You're never you know, that's it, You're done. You have relinquished your come into the universe. Your part is done. I mean, so you're never gonna know, No, You're not going to know. You're not going to see, uh, your kids running around. You're not going to find out if your come became
the president. You're just exchanging come for money. There's nothing else to it.
Honestly, it sounds like a kind of reasonable exchange.
Man.
I think so too. Well, I don't know, like it's really it's a here's it's a good deal for you, because I think buying come is crazy. There's infinite come. It's not, as I said, a scarce recess. So if I were you, I take advantage of the deal before they read that their kind of suckers for buying come.
That's kind of true, man, Like that's access. It's everywhere, it's everywhere. Yeah, you know what, man, I think I'm gonna consider it.
Mhmm, you shouldn't.
I think I think I'm getting I think I'm gonna consider it. Well, I'm still a little nervous. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I go there, because I don't know if they're like, Okay.
I know what you're gonna do when you're gonna go there.
I have no idea how it works.
No, I know how it works. You go in the place, they go, here's a little cup, go into the bathroom. Do you know how to jack off? You ever come before? Yeah, okay, go into a bathroom, you jack off, You think about whatever it is that gets you there, and you come into a little vial and then you give them the vial and they hand you fifteen dollars.
Or more and then they're like bye, and then.
Yep, that's it. That's all you gotta do. Huh, you are a human coming.
I mean, yeah, dude, you know what. I think it was just gonna be the best the scene I could possibly be.
You should you should do it.
I think I'm gonna do it well, Daniel.
Anything I want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Guys, uh, you know, if you have a good feeling about something, you know, even if you're nervous, you know, stright out, you know.
Straight out beautiful.
Thank you for calling Daniel.
Thanks all see it.
Man Can goes on the line taking phone calls every night.
De Beacon goes to his eye.
I'm just teaching you.
Aloud in the memory line.
But he's not really an expert.