Hey, is this Jay Jay? What's going on with you? What are you up to?
So? Yeah, there were some things that I've done as a child, like to get over and forgive myself for for a long time, but it's been hard.
Okay. So you did some things as a child and you're trying to forgive yourself for them. Listen throughout urs call. You don't have to tell me what those things are. But how old were you when you did them?
I'd say younger than twelve? Around twelve is when it stopped.
Okay. So you did some things as a child when you were around twelve, and you're having trouble forgiving yourself. Why do you believe you're having trouble forgiving yourself?
It's so fucked up shit, I don't know.
Is is this something you've ever talked to a real therapist about?
No, I've never told anybody else.
You never told anybody about this stuff?
No, I don't know. It's way too like heavy.
Okay. And this was when you were when you were twelve years old?
Yeah?
Wrong, man?
Okay? And how old are you now? I'm Sony Files, you're twenty five. What do you do now with your life.
Other than working at a dog daycare now much, man, I'm just trunning in my life together.
Okay. I mean, listen, man, you know the nature of what you did. Do you feel as though there's anything that you can do in your adult life to kind of offset what you have done in the past or kind of help yourself contribute to a solution to any problems you feel you might have caused.
That's the well. Yeah, I'd love to end up helping people who like struggled with the same things I have. Yeah, and like be a guidance that people dealt with some of the things I have and help some of the people that I guess need it because I don't know, ma'am. I'm doing it's all by myself, so I just I know how hard it is. So I just love to be there and help others.
M hm.
When you say you're doing this all by yourself, no, no, no, it's okay, man. I mean when you say you're doing this all by yourself, what do you think would help you? I mean, do you do you do you have friends or family or significant other or any you know, professional resources that they not have tapped into and any of any of that.
Definitely never seen a therapist or anything like that. So other than that, not really stuff I want to be talking of family about because I feel like there's no real understanding that.
Okay, okay, do you do you have the means to go see a therapist?
Can you explain what means being sorry?
Like, uh, you know, I mean, look, it can be it can be kind of a difficult thing. I know that there's kind of various ways for people who feel like they cannot afford it or find it to get well.
I have to talk about this, and I just I just never try it, honestly.
Okay, because I look, again, I don't know what you did, but it sounds as though you're beaten up about the fact that you're well. It sounds as though you're beaten up about the fact that you haven't even talked about it with anyone or been able to process it. And and you've been carrying it for thirteen years, you know, and and and I feel like it would be helpful for you to, you know, talk about it.
Yeah, just talking to you now is like helped me to realize like how deep it is. So thank you for packing up.
Man, for sure, Jay, I mean this idea of you kind of accepting whatever it is. I mean, listen, I don't know what you did when you were twelve, and I'm imagining to me even the most horrible thing. I I mean, if you were twelve years old, I don't know what your upbringing was, I don't know what your environment was like. But I can't imagine whatever it is that that that that you did when you were twelve to to to be affecting you, to to to be
justifiably defining your life for the rest of your days. Yeah, and I don't. I don't think it should and I don't even I don't even know what it is.
Uh, I agree with that.
I don't think it should define.
Can share your life, but if you'd rather me not share, that's fine.
I don't think I don't think you should talk about it on here. I think if this is something that you haven't talked to with anyone about, I think you should go and find a find a real therapist to talk to about.
It, for sure.
But I don't think it should be something that defines your life, because I mean, look, I'm talking to you right now, you're twenty five. You as it stands currently in the present, I have a desire to do good, have a desire to help people, just like you said. Just like you said, you have a desire to help people who are struggling with things that you say you've
struggled with throughout your life. And so I think to negate and throw away you as a person just because of something you did when you were twelve, whatever it was, would would be a waste of this positive energy that you have that you desire to throw out there. I'll say that much. And I think I think you should go. I think you should go try to find a person to talk through this with.
Yeah.
The only thing that's like held me from like seeking help is just the fact that knowing that I'd probably have to go through several therapists to find one that I really liked.
Yeah, for sure, I've had a lot of people say that that, you know, they had to they had to kind of cycle through a whole bunch of people to find someone that they, you know, trust and feel connected with.
As well as the other thing being that I don't want to go see help when they throw me on mets, so I'd just rather deal with the stuff on my own.
M How are you feeling right now, Jay?
You.
Okay, Yeah, I'm good. Just thinking about that a little bit, bout some emotions up, but I'm getting over it.
Mmm. I'm you know, I'll say it again. I think my main thesis here is that you have, like I said, a positive intention with your life right now, and I don't think you should throw that away because of you know, whatever you did, whatever your life was like when you were twelve.
Yeah, I'm definitely gonna go see some help.
Okay, good man. Is there anything else that you want to say to people of the computer, or that you wanted to say to me, or that you feel like we didn't cover.
I'm sure there's a ton right now I'm blanking, But to the viewers, if anybody's out there shogging or something, I'm just want you to know that everything will pass. You just got to ride the wave and keep fighting.
Hey, thank you for calling jam nice talking night. Man. I like Jay. He's a good guy. I didn't want him. I don't know what he did. I'm not even going to try to guess or imagine. I mean, look, if the guy was twelve, and if the guy you know, felt as though he was struggling with things in his life or had a childhood that was not great. I don't I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, but I am confident that who he is now in
the present is someone who wants to do good. And I hope he does that because that's only really a net positive for society if he does. And I hope he finds some kind of a help and way to talk through that stuff. Hello. Hello, Hi, who is this?
You're talking to Tony?
I'm talking to Tony. What's going on? Tony?
Now?
That's Tony mcarniy is the who name?
Tony Mcaroni? Yep, So Tony Macaroni? What's go? What's going on with you?
Yeah?
Just eating eating?
Man, you're eating? What are you eating?
Cheeseburgers?
You're eating cheese? But how many cheeseburgers are you eating?
I got?
You have a few? How many is a few? I feel like when people say a few, they mean at least three.
I mean, I got, I got at least six.
Six is not a few? Six is I would I don't know if I would consider that several. I wouldn't consider it a handful because they're a little bit big for the hand. But I think six several I would say I I would say six is right on the line of being several. I feel like seven would be several because they both have the set. But six is close to several cheeseburgers.
Yeah, I mean, you know wrong, man.
Look, I just went I just went down to the cheeseburger store and I ordered some cheeseburgers. They handed me a bag, and I'll eat cheeseburgers.
What do you mean the cheeseburger store? Is it called that?
Yeah? If you go down and get the cheeseburger, do.
They have anything else? Do they have chicken sandwiches or fries or strictly cheese.
Cheeseburgers?
Okay? How often do you do visit the cheeseburger store?
A few times?
Once or twice, once or twice a day a week, a month.
I don't know, man, probably a day.
Once a day. Okay. What so, Tony, When you're not eating cheeseburgers, Tony, So, Tony Macaronie, When you're not eating cheeseburgers, what do you do with your your life?
I'm usually just sitting there staring at the wall.
You sit and you stare at the wall. When you sit and you stare at the wall. What do you think about?
Think about cheeseburgers?
Man, you think about cheeseburgers. So you're telling me, Tony Macaroni, that you are either eating cheeseburgers or thinking about them, yes, constantly? Okay? Uh do you work? Do you go to school? How do you make money to buy these cheeseburgers?
I don't know.
I gotta go, though, I think you don't know.
You don't. You don't have to know. You know, you don't have Tony. You don't have to go, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, you are Tony. You do not have to go. We're gonna We're gonna keep I'm not letting you. Don't be a coward. Tony, sit in this with me. You have created this, and you need to answer for this.
Okay.
You cannot just bail You cannot bail yourself out of this. You cannot bail yourself out of this by saying you have to go. Just Tony, for once in your life, don't abandon a thing that you've created. Sit in it, see where it goes. It could this could turn into something productive, Tony, if you just just don't abandon it. Okay, will you agree to that.
I gotta go, man.
I know you, Tony. You don't have to go, Tony, you do not have to go. Just you created this situation. And I am telling you. He hung up. It could have gone somewhere. Folks, listen if you he bailed out. He got scared and he bailed out. Why would you do that, Tony, because you ran out of stuff. You. Here's what Here's exactly what happened. Tony called in. I don't whatever his name was. He called in with a
fake thing, and he was really nervous. And I s sarted asking him questions about his fake thing, and he kind of and he did have answers, but he knew that he could only answer my questions with his fake answers for so long before he would have to, like be pressed to think of more things. And that scared him, and so he bailed. And it's so it's sad to me because he it was such a play of low
confidence when he could have just sat in it. And maybe if he stayed for a little bit longer than when he wanted to bail, we could have gotten something interesting. He could have learned about himself. Maybe he would tell me what his actual name was. Maybe we could have gotten him to speak about whatever's going on in his life. I don't. I don't know what would have happened. I never will. He never will because he got scared and he bailed. If you're listening to this, folks, don't get
scared and bailed. Just sitting it. It's all you feel a little bit nervous for a second. It's fine if you don't know what you're gonna say next Tony, but just commit because you don't know what will happen. I hope he calls back one day. I really do. Hello, Hello, how are you?
Is this?
Gek?
Yeah? Who is this? I'm drib drib what's going on?
Drib nothing?
I'm just watching your streams?
Somebody? Are you? Where are you right now? Are here knocking? And all kinds of stuff?
Yeah? Those are my brother knocking my door. I'm sorry, No.
What is it?
Should you open it?
Does he?
How do? Maybe he's in pain?
No, he came in here to get the bomb.
He came in here to get the bong. Yeah, are you are you high right now?
No? I'm not.
Going to And then I was like.
No, okay, I mean I feel like that's a good decision. I don't get high while I'm doing this, because if I were high while I'm doing this, I'd be I would be double thinking about everything that I say. And I feel like, to talk on a thing, you have to be able to just say stuff without even without even thinking about it, you know, or you get too anxious. All right, driblet's is there anything in particular that you called into to talk about?
Well, I was gonna tell a story about my dad and stepmom that happened. They kind of kicked me out.
They kicked you out? What did they kick you out for?
So it was like a really like minor thing, but it just got escalated into a huge thing. I was never like best friends with my stepmom, and so I one day like got into a little argument with her, and it escalated pretty quickly because we were both kind of childish and she was like in my face and I didn't like that. So I took like my fingers and like pushed your back a little. Like you pushed isn't even like a right word, because I mean what I.
Mean, drip, What what was it that you guys were fighting about? Initially? What was the minor thing?
My my dad earlier that morning was gonna let my brothers stay home from school because I asked him too, because my brother wasn't feeling well. And yeah, my dad basically lied and was like, oh, I never said that, and so my stepmom was to wake him up.
That's kind of that's kind of that's that's nice of you to, uh, my guess act on behalf of your brother. It sounds like, you know, between that and the bong, you guys have a good relationship.
Yeah, for sure.
Kay, your step mom goes to wake up the brother, You're like, oh, he was supposed to stay home from school, blah blah blah. It's kind of a minor thing. You kind of push your step mom. Things get mildly physical. What how does this? How does this tumble?
Well? I guess later on that day, without my knowledge, she contacted the police. Oh really, and yeah, and they like put a warrant out for me. But even before like so it was a private warrant, so it wasn't really public at the time, And before they even sought out the warrant, my dad, without even talking to me about what happened, he basically was like, gonna send me to a homeless shelter, and can.
I ask what the deal is with your mother?
She they're divorced and my mom had a boyfriend at the time that none of my siblings were really fond of, so we barely went over to her house at all.
Okay, So did your father and stepmom eventually end up kicking you out?
Well, they brought up the homeless shelter thing to me, and before they could take me there, I ran away. Yeah, and my sister picked me up, and then I was arrested at her house.
Arrested at your sister's house for years for shoving your stepmom. Yes, wow, Okay, so they did they take you down to the station.
Yeah. I stayed in a holding block for twelve hours because it was considered as domessive violence case. And then my mom bailed me out and got me that night.
Wow. So when was this?
This was a year ago, but I've like, as of this year, a couple months ago, it's just gotten results in court.
Really, so your mom picks you up and then how soon after that do you see your stepmom and father again?
So they also got a temporary order of protection so I wasn't allowed to see them or contact them or even like relay a message through somebody really mm hmm. And honestly, I don't want to speak to the middle so I'm not really upset about that.
So have you? Okay? So are you? So you haven't spoken to them since this happened?
No? I haven't.
Wow. And your father was on board. It sounded as though your step mom was kind of the pilot for all of this and and was your father on board for all of her decisions.
Yeah, I honestly think my dad kind of planted this seed in her head to get me arrested.
But now your brother was living with your stepfather and mother too, right, yes, And have you gotten any information about them or from them or anything like that via him?
No, he doesn't. He doesn't want to speak to them either because he was obviously on my side and that made them mad. So they kicked him out too, and.
He wow, yeah.
Yeah. They took like all of his stuff, like his clothes, his computer, They took all of his posters off his wall.
They just took it. He hasn't gotten it back yet.
No. There were some things that they left outside, like on a curb for him, but the majority of it they just sold I.
Guess where are you living now? Are you with your parents or are you on your own? I mean with your mom or on your own.
With my mom and my brother right now?
Okay, is she still dating that guy that was kind of keeping you away from there?
No, he's long gone. I would convince her to like he was like, okay, being not being fond of him is like lightly, he was kind of like he This sounds like okay, whatever. He was like running from a warrant for like eleven years of like an attempted murder charge.
Ah, that you know what, that's a red flag, I would say in my in my hot dating advice, I would say running from a warrant for eleven years is a red flag.
For sure.
Okay, So how is how is living with your mom?
It's pretty It's way better. My dad was kind of like a dictator. They were kind of like evangelist type people, super Christian in my mom's really chill.
Yeah. I was kind of curious because you started your story at you getting disowned, and I'm curious what your relationship was like with him just throughout your life while you were growing up. If this was kind of like you know, if it was just years and years and years and years leading up to this, or was he cool and then stepmom came in and you know, brainwashed him or whatever? It is, Like, how do you feel as though the situation escalated to that point.
He has I wouldn't say that he would get brainwashed. He's more of the person to do that to somebody else. And he's kind of not emotionally involved in anything. So we were close when I was a kid, but when I started growing up, like when I reached twelve, I just realized that he didn't really care. So it was kind of like an awkward tension of me not like being comfortable around him because I knew that he just like it's like he's not there because he just doesn't care.
Like he acts like he cares, but you can tell that he doesn't interesting and I see I feel like I called him out a couple of times on that and like made him look at himself, and that's why he started to hate me, because I was like, I don't know, one of the only people who would call him out on his shit.
Does any part of you that you are consciously intact with desire in any way to make up with him or are you fully glad to be done with him?
I'm kind of glad because he didn't really bring anything into my life that was good and also shit I forgot when I okay, But yeah, I'm not. I don't
want to. I just like I can't even think about ever making up with him because I felt like he just betrayed me in like such a horrible way, and he even like they got me a This was a month after my ninth nineteenth birthday, and they got me a cat for my birthday because I was always asking for a cat and I loved this cat, and they purposely like kept her and took her from me, just like literally out of spite, like they didn't even want the cat.
I don't know your dad and your stepmom kept the cat when they kicked you out. Yes, before we go, you know, there's a cat back to you and your brother, you know, just the little things, the bong, you you know, kind of standing up for him to your dad. Has your relationship with him always been very tight?
Yeah, i'd say. I'd say that we obviously got into fights like every pair of siblings do. But we're a couple of years apart from each other, so we've kind of always been pretty close with each other.
M hmm. Look into the future for a sec, Drib, what uh, what's next for you in life? What where? Do where do we think we're going?
You know? I have no idea. Yeah, I'm kind of in like a rut right now because that gave me so many like trust issues, so it's it's hard for me to like step outside of myself. And I don't know.
Are you in school or working at all?
No? Not currently?
Do you do you desire to be?
Yes? I do, but I like my anxiety holds me back so much. But I'm I'm gonna get over that and I'm I'm gonna get help for that soon.
So yeah, are you speaking to any actual licensed mental health people?
I did for three years, but and I did while all that shit was happening a little but kind of after all of it died down, I just like kind of needed a break. I don't know, and so I haven't been back yet, but I know I should soon.
Well, Drib, thanks for sharing all this stuff. I I hope it felt productive for you to to talk about it. I'm glad to hear that you are doing better and that you're still maintaining good relationships with your mom and your brother. Is there anything else or any kind of aspect of this that you feel like we didn't get to talk about, or anything that you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
No, this has been a great call. Thank you for listening. Also, thank you for liking am Enjoys because everybody hates on them, but they're actually like the bad Scarande.
Yeah, I like I'm vocal about it because I'm afraid if I'm not, they'll stop making them. I think I'm like the only one. Well, I guess me and you.
It is your hype.
Thanks for calling Drive.
Thank you.
Yeah, that was interesting. It's kind of good perspective to hear about other people's relationships with their parents, because maybe I feel like, you know, I'm lucky, I have a good I have a good relationship with my own family, And I think you tend to get tunnel visioned into, maybe maybe subconsciously feeling as though other people's experiences are are very similar to your own, and it kind of wakes you up a little bit to hear, you know a store you like Dribs where her dad and herd
did not get along and I'm sorry to hear that they haven't talked in a long time. But I'm also on that same coin glad that she's out of that stress she was dealing with with him, And again, good on her for maintaining that relationship with her brother. I'm sure her brother appreciates her very much for letting him hit her bong and also all the other stuff. Okay, Hello, is this Gek?
Yeah?
Is this Pete?
Yeah?
Hey Greg?
What's up?
Man?
I'm just chilling. What's in the stream?
How can I get you today?
Well?
I kind of have this weird obsession with smelling my cat's breath.
Oh yeah, yeah, and.
Oh it's kind of embarrassing. I don't really only brought it up to one of my friends.
How long have this? Has this been going on for?
About like the beginning of twenty sixteen?
Okay, are you? Are you fucking with me? Or is this a real thing?
No that I'm being that serious. I know it sounds weird, so I kind of laugh, but I am. I'm serious.
Man.
All Right, you you're obsessed with smelling your cat's breath? What do you Okay, there's a lot of different angles here. What do you what do you get out of it? What? What's the on what level do you enjoy it?
Well, it's kind of it just like kind of feels good, not like in a weird way, but just like it's like I don't know, like if I like open a bag of chips, I'll smell the chips, you know, and like for like smelling a book or something like a brand new book or something.
Right, it's like if you open your cat's mouth, you gotta.
Smell it, yeah, but I don't. I don't open it, like like god, dude, this sounds weird, like so so it started. I got there. It's two cats. I got them in the beginning of twenty sixteen, like February. And I don't know when it started exactly, but for some reason, I noticed myself liking the smell of their food, like the bag of their food when I would feed them
in the morning and stuff. And then I noticed myself kind of like like craving that smell, like I would like the morning coffee smell, like a pot of coffee, you know. And I don't know it's like exactly when, but right around that time, I just started like smelling them.
It just sounds ridiculous, but like I would like I would kind of tell them they're like, be like you're a good boy, and then I'll give them a kiss or whatever, and then I'll like kind of secretly to myself kind of smell their breath, until I eventually evolved into just not caring and just doing it.
So their food looked appetizing to you.
No, I don't want to know. I like when I was younger, I ate some this as a joke to my brother, but it wasn't. It doesn't. It's more like appetizing, like I want to eat it. Like just the smell of it, Like it's like like like new leather in a car or something like just like a good smell,
you know. And it's like I fell myself to the point where it's like now current day, I'm like like I try to, like before I leave my house, I'll rub their gums with my thumbs and then I like in the car, will smell it and like get the smell of their breath, you know, and then I just it's almost like kind of anxiety sometimes because I'll be like I was in Target today and for some reason, I really wanted to smell it and I knew there was probably some sort of resdue on my thumb, and
I was like, it just is weird because I'm like walking down this aisle trying to be like a normal person, but I know in my head, I'm just thinking about smelling my thumb, and I then I like turn an aisle and then be like, oh, look, here's a package of gum, and then I smell my thumb really quick and then put my hand back to like the gun just feel like, all right, I'll get this one and throw it in the cart.
This kind of reminds me of like the desire to sniff your own balls after you scratch them, but instead of your balls, it's a cat's mouth.
Yes, yeah, and I've never had a desire to smell my balls. But I know you're talking about I've heard that before, and the thing is like, I don't. It's like I feel weird about it, and like it feels like kind of embarrassing or awkward to talk about, but at the same time, like I don't know it was something I really should even care to stop or if I just live my life.
That way, right, That's what I was going to ask you. You seem like You're harboring some shame about this, and I'm curious as to as to why you feel you feel that shame.
Yeah, it's like like one of those things that like I can't really tell people about it, or like I just like feel like I can't because you know, well, like I said, my one friend just really he gave me a lot of crap about it. He still does, but it's just like kind of a joke between us. But it's like I know that it is a bit odd, and it just feels like it's like I can't, like, you know, even friends I've had for a long time. I feel like it's just something I don't want to
bring up. But it's like it feels embarrassing, you know, like makes me laugh. But it's well, the thing is.
Just like, let me ask you this to you personally, Do you believe that this negatively impacts your life in any way shape or for him?
No, The only thing I ever thought of is like I don't know if they would have something weird in their mouths that like, because I'm like putting it directly to my nose, that like I would somehow contract some weird disease or something.
But I don't know about a disease. But I mean, look, as far as you smelling your cat's breath, listen, I'm gonna tell you something, Pete. I just watched, uh you see that TV show about Jeffrey Dahmer a little bit? Yeah, well that well, there's he's it's about this guy who killed and consumed I think seventeen people. Yeah, okay, So just I mean think about that. If you're like thinking about your base fast line of weirdness.
In comparison, it's.
You smelling your cat's breath. It's not that bad. It's not as bad as as murdering and eating people. So I feel like as long as you are not harming yourself or harming anyone else, I feel like you're fine.
Okay, It's something I could continue doing and feel like decent about myself. And do you think I should ever tell anyone else or just kind of keep it low key?
Do you feel like you would feel better if you told other people?
That's a good question.
I don't.
I don't think so.
I don't.
No, I don't think so, Okay, just feel that then I wouldn't tell anyone?
All right? Well? Yeah, I mean that's oh there's the questions. I got some other weird stuff going on, but.
Those, I mean, listen, only if Pete, I'm telling you dead seriously, if only only if you truly do believe, because look, I mean, your shame grows in the shadows, you know, So yeah, you're shame. It's like the opposite of them right now.
Yeah, like like second nature. As we've been talking, I I touched my cat's mouth and smelled it, and then I realized that I was just talking to you. I was doing it, and I thought, well, that's like, I guess admitting that is. I guess I don't feel any better worse. I guess that's just kind of like, yeah, this is a thing I do.
Yeah, I think I would accept it about yourself. I mean again, as long as you're not eating people, as long as you're not killing people, eating them and violating their corpses, I think you're doing.
Okay, Okay, yeah, I'm not doing any of that.
Okay, good, I think I'm doing all that. Yeah, hang in there, Pete, Carrie, don't don't carry too much shame about this.
Thank you, Gek, I appreciate that.
Sore.
Anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
No, just have a good night, and yeah, don't be ashamed of yourself.
You as well take care Pete.
Thank you, Grek.
But you know it's interesting is I've had people call in about really intense, kind of heavy family melo drama and issues with social isolation and you know, all kinds of heavy stuff. And this guy who smells his cat's breath is one of the saddest callers I've talked to. Not sad, as in like it is sad what they do. I think what they do is completely fine, but they themselves feel very sad about it, and I find that sad. How sad they feel. As long as they're not killing
people and eating them, I think Pete is gonna be okay. Hello, Hello, Cheyenne. How are you.
I'm doing pretty good?
How are you? I am a gecko on the computer.
That's right, that's right.
What's going on with you, Cheyenne? Is there anything in particular that you called in to talk about?
Well, not really. I was talking to the screener about how hating furries is going to be like the next homophobia. Well that's what our friend says, and I just hate that she says.
That, Okay, I'm gonna read what these notes say. It says here that you have a dislike for furries, but you worry because you have a friend who is a furry and that and and you claim that your friend believes that being anti furry is akin to being homophobic. Have I Have I gotten all of this correct?
Pretty much? I don't know if she's a furry for real, but it's she hangs out with a bunch of them, and I'm just.
Yeah, okay, let's let's let's let's get into this here. Why do you dislike furries?
I mean, I don't know, I just this just always been like this thing like I don't know, I just they just h there's just furries.
Can I can I cut in here with something? Do you mind? Mh?
You go ahead?
Do you? First of all, do you shot Cheyenne? Right, Cheyenne? Do you really hate furries?
Kind of? Like I mean, I don't know, they just there's just something about them.
Is that like?
Is that like really rude?
It's well, let me, I'll tell you this. You know, it's a really I mean hatred strong just stay that rattles you to your core or or just strong shan. Your strong emotional reactions should be reserved to be intentionally used for things that really matter. Yeah, so so I feel a go ahead, tell me what you wanted to say.
Well, like, I mean, I don't hate them, but like like I wouldn't like run up to one and like punch them in the face, but like I just like if they like they're like near me and they like, I would like move away and not. No, Like it's not hatred, but it's not I.
Don't like them, Okay, And I mean, okay, do you expend energy in your hatred for furries?
M describe expand.
Like you think about them and it makes your heart race and your blood boil and you go out of your way to express your dislike.
No, but like if they were talking about furries, I'd just be.
Like, no, Okay, your friend claims to be a fairy.
Correct, Well, she's never like came out, but I've I've gotten I feel like she is.
Okay. So you're living your life. You're not, as it sounds, going out of your way to be mean to people who like the furry community. You're simply doing your thing, they're simply doing their thing. Your parallel lines moving through the universe, not interacting with each other until your friends reveals to you that she is a furry and now there is is becomes an intersection And is this some form of a I mean, what are your feelings about this?
I mean, I don't think I would approve, but I don't think I would like just closed her. But I think I would probably distance myself away from her.
Mm hmmmmm. Why do you think that is?
I don't know, I just I just grace, just give me the ick?
Mm hmm.
Do you think it's homophobic or like it's like the next homophobia?
Yeah, here's here's here's what I think. When you say that it gives you the ick. I I would just, I don't know, for for your own sake, Scheyanna, I I would encourage you to do your best. And it's
not going to be a thing that happens overnight. It's a thing that I'm working on that I think a lot of people are working on, uh, which is to try your best to have as positive of a perception of things as you can, you know, this being one of them, and you know, take a take a step back from like the visceral reaction of your ick and
put it under a microscope for a second. I don't know if you've done that, because you know, I'm asking you these questions and you're having a hard time answering them. And that's okay, but that's keying me into the fact that you haven't really really and it's okay, but it's again, it's key me into the fact that you haven't really thought about why you have these feelings. Maybe you haven't really examined them. And I think if you did, and if you did it trying to have a positive perception,
you might surprise yourself. Does that make any sense?
Yeah, I'll do that, Okay, good.
Shan.
Is anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Uh? Nobody? Can I ask you a question?
Sure? What's up?
Would you rather have penis sized nipples or a nipple sized penis?
That's a tough one. Probably nipple sized penis, because at least I could, like, I feel like having a penis sized nipples, I would be harder to hide in public.
Yeah.
Yeah, think of calling.
Thank you bye.
I'm trying to put in better words what I said to her because I'm thinking about it and I'm thinking about if what I said made any sense. It made sense to me, but I don't know if I explained it. Well, give me two seconds. Okay, fucking furry you'll you're on TikTok and you see two people in fur suits, and your immediate reaction is, oh, furries are weird. Oh this thing is weird.
You know what.
That's just your immediate reaction, And that's it makes sense, right whatever. There's some uncanny valley thing going on there that is easy to make fun of, easy not to like, easy to get the eck. But what would be difficult is to look at it and try it just fucking and so I'm trying. I'm not trying to come at this as if I've mastered it. This is just what I'm trying to do is to look at it and go, Okay, how can I force myself to have a positive perception
of this? How can I force myself off to see that and go, you know, I'm glad those people are having a good time. I admire the courage they have to be themselves just you know, positive hippie stuff. How can you force yourself into that perspective so that your brain feels a little bit less gloomy, and that's what I'm hoping for Cheyenne. She navigates her her relationship with people who put on Fox costumes. Hey, folks, Lyle here.
As you might know, I've been traveling all over the United States doing live shows, which have been going very very well, and I thank anyone listening who's come out to them. And as I've been traveling around, I've been recording a lot of interviews with folks wandering around the streets, and I thought i'd end this podcast with an excerpt from my street interviews in Miami. If you enjoy these IRL phone calls want to see more, then you can go to YouTube dot com slash Lyle forever, or just
search YouTube for being a Gecko in Miami. All right, let's see what's going on in the streets of Miami Beach. Hello. Hi, what's your name?
Man?
My name is Leo.
Nice to meet you, man. What are you doing out here on Miami Beach today?
So I'm just here and enjoying today. You know, I'll do some meetings with my clients.
There's meetings with their clients. Okay, what kind of clients? So you got what kind of work do you do.
So, I want a concierge company. It's called Miami VP.
Yeah.
We do all car rentals, yachts, mansions, jets, jess kis, you name it, we have it. We provide that service at the highest level. You know, anybody who wants to come to Miami and have a good time, you know we're here to provide that service for them.
What to you is your idea of a good time in Miami?
Client lands here. You know, we prepare everything before they even get here, where you have a greeter directing them to the driver. There's a driver show for taking them to their hotel or their Airbnb or the mansion that they booked through us. We have a chef they're cooking, you know, their lunch before arrival. If they order any cars exotics, the cars are already parked at the mansion or their hotel. You know, we have a driver that's gonna take them to dinner. You know, they want to
get a hotel, I mean a yacht. Yeah, we have a yacht booking or if they want to go on up to a club and book a table, we have that as well. People that is gonna escort people to they're designed you know service.
Okay, and you personally, are you very into the high life do you like you know, big fancy cars and yachts. Is that is that? What does it for you in this world?
I mean what does it for me is more just being able to provide a great service for my clientele. You know, it's not about the money more. It's more about the service and the way they feel. So when they come to Miami, I want them to feel like
they just you know, somebody comes to your house. You want to want them to feel welcomed, you know, so when they go back, you know, they when they do come back to Miami, they think about you because you felt make the felt welcome to your services and it was top notched.
Has that been a constant throughout your life? You wanted to provide service for other people?
Yeah, I've always wanted to, you know, make other people, you know, just provide anything, not just to make money. You know, at first it was to make money just to like pay the bills and stuff like that. But once you do, once you get into for a while, you understand that it's just about the servicing because that's what lasts longer than just the money.
Interesting, So before you were doing all this high end stuff. What were some other ways in your life that you have provided service to the people.
I used to teach people how to dance. I used to sell candy in school. I used to sell shoes Jordan's.
Yeah, it sounds like you were very entrepreneurial.
For I'll call from Columbia, so I didn't have a social security at one point to work, you know, until like, nah, I finally got it. I'm able to open up a company, you know, but before you can't get a job, so you have to figure it out.
You came from Columbia from Columbia. When did you come here from Columbia?
That was six?
You're six? Do you ever go back to Columbia?
No?
No, No is a reason why not?
Because I just got my passport now, so you know, before now I could go back to Columbia.
Okay, cool. Why did you pick Miami to come to? Well, I guess you didn't pick it. Okay, Why do you continue to stay in Miami? What do you like about it?
I mean, I traveled all over the United States, but Miami to me is more like you know, the world, because you have so many ethnicities here in Miami. Yeah, people from Russia, from Colombia, people from Jamaica, people from Germany, people from all over the world. That you know, I feel like this is where the world is in Miami.
What have you learned from meeting so many people all over the place?
I learned that you know that life is a journey and it's forever changing, and you can't stay satisfied with one thing, because then, you know, that's when you stop living. I think you should always evolve and always want to learn and meet new people and seeing new places so you can keep expanding your you know, your own soul, and that's how you live life.
It seems like you're you're really you know. I mean, you're not just saying that she was really living that, you know, I mean doing like Candy and Jordan's all the way up to yachts and exotic cars and like even from what you're saying about it not being about just the money, like you just care about the grind. Like you seem like you're gonna be doing this for the rest of your life. For the rest of my life, you know, not the kind of guy that wants to retire. Alright, No, we don't retire, Okay.
Yeah, we retire, our kids, kids, kids, you know, whenever we go. But you know, I've been able to, I've been able to being very blessed to being able to take people like you know, Rihanna Jamie Fox as client. So I manifested that. So I'm a big believe in the law of attraction. I believe that you know, all people say right place, right time, and I think that that means that you never quit because the right place,
right time is gonna come. But if you quit, or you take it or you procrastinate, that was the day. And you know that's the way it just happens. So I don't believe in giving up. I don't believe in feeling sorry for myself or anybody else. I believe in just making it happen. And an l doesn't mean lose, it means a lesson. You know, if you don't try, you were never gonna learn, and you missed one hundred percent of the shots you never take. So I take shots every single day.
How do you feel like you've developed this mentality over the years.
Through adversity, Because the adversity that breaks you or makes you're a record breaker. You know where I come from, it was already broken scenario in Columbia thor world country. You know, it's crazy, but coming over here, it's an opportunity. There's no way, you know, you're gonna take that for granted. You can't take opportunities for granted. You can't take people that love you and truly want to help you. You know,
then for granted you can't. You know, you gotta just be true to yourself, be real, and then things are gonna happen the way they're supposed to happen.
I respect that a lot as a way of being wired for life, you know, like always wanting to grow and always wanting to do the absolute best you can. Are there any like pain points to that. Are there any occurrences or things that happened that that kind of like make it make it hard for you to keep going?
No, I just believe in you know, I have family members that passed away, you know, and I just believe that the fact that I'm still alive and I've overcame adversity. I just cherish life at the highest level too, where nothing really bothers me, you know, I'm thankful for every single moment, like being in the in the highway and maybe you miss an exit, maybe you're about to be late to something that you need to be on time to.
But it's avery direction from God. Maybe if you would have took the right direction, you would have crashed or something would have happened, you know. So you just let it go, because there's nothing good comes from being negative or like being in sorrow or in a dark, dark moment, you know, So you just let it go and just keep pushing forward.
And then, of course what you said about the exact thing. Any time I get like pissed off about something or I feel like I made a mistake, you know, like the timelines are are mysterious and in red, and so you never know what could have happened.
I just I just I just believe in the law of attraction so much that you know, nothing bothers me. Things that used to bother me don't bother me anymore.
What used to bother you?
The way people, the way people like communicated with each other. Now I'm just like, Okay, that's that's how they are. And you can't really force anything upon anybody.
The people that you're surrounded with in life, your friends and family, do they have a similar mindset as you now they.
Do, Yes, because I've cut a lot of people off that didn't and I understood that if I didn't choose that, I was always gonna remain. Was that hard for you, Yes, of course, yeah, because you know, you grew up with these people. You love them, you done you know, play video games with them, you play basketball with them, you want championships with them. But they chose to stay in a different mindset. They don't want to progress or grow or to get to the next level as much as
I do. Because obviously we didn't come from the same scenario. We didn't start at the same start line.
You know.
I just happen to come here from a different country where it was like really bad, you know, and I have a different gold in life. You know, it's not the goal is not about you know, getting all the money in the world and stuff like that. It's about being able to take care of those people who are around you while you're here and after that, you know.
What's your goal for the future. Are you trying to just scale this luxury yacht thing or and there's other like businesses that you want to try.
So we're actually that another I love that question because we're actually launching an app that's gonna be worldwide. It's called members Only. You're gonna be able to book cars, yachts, mansions, jets, events, But you got to be a member only if you want to get the lowest costs possible. So members get the lowest costs possible. Non members they could book like regular you know members, regular clients, they could just book.
But if you do get the membership, you get it with the NFT and you also get the wholesale access to you know, the services that you want to book that you usually are usually booking, you know, instead of you know, having the broken in the middle, you're automatically booking directly do the owner.
Now, how does one become a member? Do you have to be famous or something or.
No, you just got to have you know, the first the first tier that were starting it off is that ten thousand dollars, right, and that gives you access to the whole sell everything, the yachts, the mansions, the cars. Not waiting in line at the club, you know, reservations, you know, walk right in, you don't have to wait.
You know, the top somebody comes in who's spent ten thousand dollars, stay in the club, and part of the experience is walking past the people that didn't and like, do they they get it? Do they like look at them like, man, those fucking rich people just.
I mean, sometimes that's what it's but that's what feeds the ego. It's really like the ego that you're feeding.
How what's your relationship like with your ego?
I don't have an ego no more. I used to have a huge ego.
These people that the people that you service, do you see like a lot of ego?
No, you would think that the people that have a lot of money are the most egoistic. They're actually the most humblest people.
Interesting.
They actually want to help everybody else. Well everybody else is looking at them as, oh, you know whatever, this rich person. You know, they're really like, hey, I hope I can help you out, but I'm on my way to having some fun, you know. But there's no there's no ego when it comes to some people are But the people that I deal with, you know, they're not.
What's your name again, man, my name is Leo. Leo. Very nice to meet you, man. Anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I just want to say, trust God and stay positive. Never let your dreams go. Never let anybody stop you from achieving your goal, even if it sounds crazy to them. Keep going, never stop, and then you're gonna be at the right place at the right time. And that's what's gonna do it for you. And one day you know you're gonna achieve all the dreams that you ever thought of achieving. So that's my message to the world. Let's go.
Hey, thanks lem man, appreciate it.
No, I appreciate you. My Instagram is at my A V I P following me ia.
Just at my av av That's pretty. That's like a pretty good hand.
That's perfect.
I feel like that would be taken. You would have to put like a sixty nine or an underscore. Yeah, right, am, I A check you out. One day. Maybe I'll get a yacht from you.
I hope, he thinks, well, I hope you're doing. We take a picture on the boat with the outf for that. You got a beautiful outfit.
Beautiful. Thank you man, Hey, take earlier, take thank you want to come be on the thing, goes on the line, taking phone calls every
Night, goes, I was teaching you your life,