You're watching a ton of porn. You're watching anime girls. It sounds like you're watching the hen Tie.
Well essentially, yeah, because like it's not even like it's like normal porn. It just like it would be like it started just getting like more fucked up type stuff and then like that's the only type of stuff I ended up watching.
Hello is this Ben?
Yes?
This is Ben. It says here that you can only get aroused by anime girls and you feel disgusted by that? Is this? Is this z accurate?
So there's kind of a story behind this burst that will make it make sense. Would you like to hear that? Or no?
I'm more curious what you mean by makes sense.
Because I feel like saying it right off the bat in general, it makes it sound very like odd. But I feel like if I give you the explanation behind that statement, it would make more sense to what I'm saying.
I mean, you know, sure, go ahead? What is uh?
What is?
What is the origination?
So this originally started whenever I realized that So I had been hanging out with this one girl and then I know that and I've never had a problem like, oh, like performing before. But then one day, like all of a sudden, I just I couldn't, you know, and I thought it was just like very odd, and it started to become more a consistent thing. And I know originally I was thinking, like, oh god, do I have a
medical problem. But then I could like I had like a bad habit, like I would go home and like I would always like watch like the most like raunchy type videos, but I would not have a problem like performing. So I don't like I'm more or less looking for some advice. If you think that's like is if like I've desensitized like my mind in a way, if it's an emotional connection, I missed it, Like what would you get out of that?
Would I get out of? Okay, you're watching a ton of porn? You're watching uh anime girls? It sounds like you're watching the hen Tie.
Well essentially, yeah, because like it's not even like it's like normal porn. It's just like it would be like it started just getting like more fucked up type stuff and then like that's the only type of stuff I ended up watching.
Hmm, and the fucked up type stuff that you're talking about. Do you have a desire in real life to to enacting stuff.
I personally think it's like really disgusting even just like mentioning it. I think the whole idea of just like saying it out loud, I think it just sounds like very gross in general, and like I feel disgusted that this is kind of like my reality that I'm like having to like work with now. And I was kind of wondering. I remember mentioning about how like desensitizing actually
is a serious problem. How you went through a whole thing about that, and I was wondering, if you think that's the problem.
Oh, well, definitely. I mean, look, I'm no brain chemist person, but absolutely you get desensitized. I mean, even like normal porn, right if you just watch, if you're just jacking off to two people fucking, like you know, when you go out into the world and like I have sex with the real human beings, you get like desensitized to that.
Now.
I have no explanation of the chemistry and whatnot, but yeah, I mean clearly, you know, any any type of porn is going to like desensitize you to the actual reality of sex. You know, whether whether you're just watching like I said, people just have sex, or if you're watching people shitting on each other, or if you're watching anime girls.
Although I feel like anime girls, that that has gotta drive that up to like one hundred, right, because that's not even that doesn't even exist, you know, So you're you're getting born at least it's like a model of a thing that actually happens, but the anime is unattainable, you know. So of course I feel like there's there's desensitization going on here.
Like at this point, I feel like, like, did I do sometimes my mind to the point where it's like even like whenever I'm like with a real life person, I can't even do anything.
You know, you spoken to a doctor about this?
No, because I know it's not necessarily it's not necessarily the problem of I can get leaky rid. It's not like I have a recta's function. But it's like a very situational type thing, and I I don't know if that's like something that I would seek medical attention for.
So are you just wondering if your your excessive porn usage and your inability to perform are linked?
I don't know. I'm more like I'm calling because like this is something I wouldn't like typically like want to mention with like friends or like family. So I'm more or less just like I'm calling like this like the first person I've ever mentioned it too, and I'm just trying to see if you have an opinion or like any like if you have an opinion or have any idea of like why.
That is.
Well, I mean did It's It's as I said. I mean, it's like like with any with any type of point, you're gonna get the sensitize to the actual experience of having sex. So if I were you, I would do two things. One, I would try to quit watching porn. If you feel as though it's having a negative effect on your actual sexual abilities then and it's important to you to be able to perform sexually, then you know, you would try to go down that path of quitting porn.
And then too, you know, I know you say you're discouraged from talking to a doctor, but you should totally talk to a doctor about this. There's sex therapists, there's all sorts of you know, people who would have you know, a lot more practical advice because you know, you know, look, people come, I mean on this this show again, you know whatever. I don't really give advice, but like, you know, when people are like, how do I quit? How do I quit? How do I quit? It's like this this
is a fucking specialist for everything. It's like there's alcoholism, there's you know, people addicted to all sorts of things, and it sounds like you might be kind of addicted to porn. And I can't just tell you, hey, quit your addiction, because it's probably gonna be more complicated than that. But what I can tell you is is that, uh, you should recognize if you have a problem it sounds like you have, and then uh, don't be embarrassed to go try to fix it.
I like, how would you word that to a doctor or like if there's a specialist of like whatever it is, how would you go in there and then like word the scenario? Cause like even just like saying out loud, I personally just feel disgusted even just like like talking about it.
You know, so like you gotta let you gotta let you gotta, you gotta let go of the shame. You gotta let go of the shame. You love big anime titties, you know what, Lots of people love big anime titties. That's why they're drawing so many of them. You think they would you think that people would sit in these animation studios drawing tit after tit, hand drawn tit animation if other people were not also soaking it up. There's no shame.
Would you then go to the doctor and walk in with confidence and talk about big anime titties?
Fuck? Yeah, I would go into that. I would say, hey, yeah, it's these people's job to deal with the ship. Yeah, hey, doc, I'm addicted to anime titties and I need your I need a cure. I need your anime titty antidotes. My dick does not work because of all the anime titties. Uh, what do you What do you think is gonna laugh at you? I mean he might, but who cares.
Yeah, sounds ridiculous, sounds disgusting.
It's it's what's going on with you, though it's your truth, own it. It's you. It's what's going on. The shame is only making it worse. Will you do that for me?
Do that for me?
Will you go?
Will you? Will you? And I don't know, I can't, I I can't you know, hold your hand through Uh, overcoming the fear. But well you try, there's no shame.
Oh yeah, Like I like I already have an appointment lined up with care Now. Every time I said did getting closer, I'm always just thinking like, oh, this is going to be so awkward, and like I'm keep on just like do I really have to go to this?
No fuck? No no no no no no. This is your truth, as I said, and you've got to own it. Okay, it's not going to be awkward. I mean even if it is, who gives it? Who cares? This is your truth. You love anime titties and it's making your dick not work. And I bet these doctors who study the penis and it's inner workings would love to tell you how you can make your penis work. Again, that's what they do, That's what they live for, is to fix people's penises.
So what's the girl I was seeing? I remember this was like kind of what like I thought, was really sad about all of this. I had to like I got it like mildly hard and I had to like pretend to finish and this was like more than once, and like I remember, it was like so sad, like I had like pretend to finish. Would you like then tell the person you're seeing about this, or would you not even mention?
Yeah, well, okay, here's the thing. Look, you only want to be fucking with people who are cool, right, Yeah, you only want to be fucking with people who are cool. So like, look, if something's going on with your dick, just tell the person and uh, if they freak out about it or get mad, uh, then they're not the kind of person you'll be fucking with anyway. And then you got to commit, Like you know, if you're fucking with someone and they say, hey, my vagina doesn't work,
you gotta you gotta be cool too, you know. Uh, this is like a litmus test, right, But I feel.
Like that's a bit different, like whenever you're a woman, though, because I feel like in that sort of shoe, whenever you're like, yeah, whenever I'm around you, I can't get my dick hard. I feel I feel like that's like just like a slap in the face kind of thing.
I get it to look, some people take some people take it personally. I understand why people take it personally, but usually it's it's it's not a personal thing. You've gotta find people you're comfortable with. I feel like you have this issue of like you're not you're not comfortable with like your your your body and your issues and stuff, and you know that's not something that you know.
I'm confident about myself. I'm confident about the way I look. But just like this like specific topic and like it just like respecifically like revolving around like HENTI to it, just like it. Just remember, I feel a loud it just personally makes it. I just feel like it's sound just so disgusting.
Yeah, you gotta own it, you, Ben, you got to own it. These girls. There's a girl that you're sleeping with. You just just be honest with her. I can't get hard. It's not because of you. You're great. I've just been looking at too many anime titties. There's no shame in that. That's your truth. Be honest with this person. Will you do that for me?
Ben?
Will you call you call your mom on the phone. You don't have to tell your mom, but if you started with your mom, it would make the rest of these conversations easier. Hey, good luck to you, Ben, gek bless.
You and have.
A good night. Hello, Hello, Olivia Mile.
Yeah, how are you. I'm doing all right? How are you.
Olivia? It says here that you troll phone scammers.
Yeah, that is true. So yeah, I started doing this because some time ago my mom got was a victim of phone scamming. She lost a ton of money, had a change bank account, all that stuff, and I hated that that happen. I couldn't do anything. So uh with the career that I have now, I have learned how to use telephones in a very digital way to uh
do things like calling them incessantly. Like you make something that says I'm going to call every uh you know, five minutes, and I'm going to call from it looking like it's coming from a different number every time, or maybe it just looks like it comes from the number one or the number two or the number three or anything of that nature.
Is this like a like a I'm not anythink about coding, but like a script that you wrote or.
Something essentially, Yes, attacked with knowledge about how telephone works from like a coding level. I work doing software essentially.
So how long have you been running this operation?
Uh?
You know, I don't know if I would call it an operation as much as it is a a hobby of sorts that my motto, my motto generally is if I can waste a phone scammer's time, I am stopping them from actually scamming people that are vulnerable to that because I find that that it's it's it's it's it's shitty to have people, especially because it's the older generations, right that are normally the ones that are or unaware. I can't teach everybody.
Right, I was gonna say, this is a great example of doing what you can, right, because you can't teach everybody. You can't. I mean, there's there's whatever. However, many thousands of people running these scams. You can't take down the whole operation, but you can waste a scammer's time such that one person that he could have called and scammed didn't get scammed. So you're you're doing what you can to fix this issue that you are passionate about. Now I ask you, how do you have time to do
all this? Do you do you have like another gig or or is this it?
At this point? From what I have done, it's been very hobbyist, and I've and I've actually thought and questioned myself with this, Like the things that I'm thinking I could make in my mind, they pose a little bit of like an ethical problem, Like just because I can make something that does this, doesn't mean that I should make this thing that does this, because this could get used for something altogether different than my intended purpose.
Makes sense, right, Yeah, No, of course, if you make some sort of technology that gets into the wrong hands, it could completely undo all the all the justice that you've been serving upon the world and be used as a tool for evil.
Right.
And you know, if there was a way to make this, I don't know, if there was some way that I could to justify it, I might sit there and go, Okay, actually this might be worth my time, and then maybe I don't. Maybe I spend less time doing my other gig, or you know, maybe I do something that all together. It just depends, you know. But until I have that, I just I don't know. I don't know if I actually want to build these things.
What is this thing that you're talking about building? Is this like some sort of doomsday.
Well it's not even like a doomsday thing. It's just like a server. It's just like, how do you make a server? And then like right the server or or you could say like a client or like the client can make a phone call right, or if it gets you know, right, Which is why I'm trying. I'm trying to use like non technical terms because it did very it's very coding related, and it's I feel like when I start to talk about it more technically, I really start to.
Well, Okay, you shouldn't have to dumb yourself down to get to my level. What but the the the purpose of it? What is what's the ultimate purpose of this technology?
Uh?
I would want to disincentivize phone scamming altogether to the point where it makes a business either non operational or creates more of a barrier to make such things. Because maybe I can't like to feed it, right, But if I can do something that has that intended purpose to specifically make it more difficult in some way, shape or form, huh, that would that would be great.
Can I bring something up that maybe will be inspiring for you. I don't know if you've thought about this. Yeah, phone these these these phone scams I feel like ultimately will die out at some point because, as you said, the primary targets are old people that don't know how
to use the Internet. So eventually, once we get to a point in humanity where everyone alive grew up with the Internet, I feel like everyone will have a sort of baseline Internet literacy and the scammers will have to work like ten times is hard to trick people than they do now, so the the issue will event actually phase out, but all the would be victims would also be dead at that point. So I don't know if that makes you feel better or worse.
That does make me feel better. I wonder what else would pop up instead of that, because I feel like scamming is sort of always a game of cat and mouth. But this was a point that you brought up just now. I didn't consider it actually does make you feel a lot better.
Well, okay, so I feel like the well, let me ask you this other thing, because you were like, what form will it take now? I feel like the format takes now is like I don't know, man, I don't know if you're into bitcoin or whatever, but whenever you watch whenever, like you watch a video about it, the comments, there's always somebody in the comments that's like it's a bot, and it's like I'm made ten thousand dollars trading four
x with Jessica Williams. Here's Jessica Williams's WhatsApp number, and then you text Jessica Williams and Jessica Williams is like, hey, give me your wallet address things so that I can put a bunch of money in there, and then you do it, and then she just takes all your money and turns out she wasn't Jessica Williams. Who's this some guy now now in that situation, because that's sort of
the modern version. Who is any fault? Is it Jessica Williams or is it you know, Dan the Man sixty nine on YouTube?
Who?
At what point do we take personal responsibility? I don't. I'm not saying I have no opinion either way, but I'm curious about yours because you seemed passionate about the issue.
Yeah, you know, I think I think as we age and as the older generations are more I would probably say technically aware, technically savvy, then I think there would sort of be a shifting baseline on that right of like what is acceptable in the state of the older generations that they are now people that are like my mom's age, or people like I'm not even given number. But people that are older, I feel for them because they didn't grow up with that or like I grew
up with these things, right. But I think I think that would be a changing standard overall. And I think like in the case of like, if if I don't Dan the Man ninety five, I don't remember who you said.
I think I said, you know, but who you could be any number?
Okay, I would say, like, if you know, Dan the Man was in their twenties, probably I would say, like, maybe maybe you should know that, like because of the technical world.
But I.
Don't think that that's a blanket statement.
So let's let's think I'm going to try to trick you into doing a blank I'm going to scam you into doing a blanket statement.
At what edekay?
At what age? Is it your faults? If a scammer takes all your bitcoin at what age? When? When should you know better?
At what age?
When should you know better from like from here on out?
From here on out? What's the cutoff?
A you know, I want to say twenty five twenty five? Really, I think that's plenty of feeble, plenty of time to have technology in your hands.
Interesting, Okay, So if you're twenty seven and Jessica Williams texts you and is like, give me. They're your bank account routing information so that I can sell you a bitcoin thing, and you give it to them. It's not your fault.
I would say, Dan the man, Where have you been?
Olivia? Is there anything else you want to talk about today before we go?
No? That's that.
Do you feel satisfied with this conversation?
I really do.
Thank you le of course, have a good night, Olivia.
You do, by.
Hello, Carly, Hi, what is life like?
Yes?
I was gonna say it says here that you just made a fake Instagram account to stuck your ex boyfriend? Yes, okay. How recently did you guys break up?
Like last month? Like on Valentine's Day?
Guy's just been it's been a full months.
Yeah no, and it's still like still deep fresh wound.
How long were you guys together?
We were off and on for three years.
Off and on for three years. What inspired you to make this Instagram account?
So when we broke up? Like I couldn't stand seeing like you know how on Instagram? When you like when you're friends with somebody and they like the same post as you and it shows like their icon at the bottom, like this person liked it as well. I couldn't stand that that made like it made me want to cry seeing that, so I unfollowed him. Well, he has a private count. So I recently like requested to follow him again and he didn't allow me to follow him immediately.
So I decided to make a fake account, and that night I followed like a hundred forty people like posted a bunch of like memes on the page, made sure to put like a guy's name, and made sure to like have completely opposite like basically just throw him off that like it's not me, because like I wanted to like stay in the range of his interest, but like to the point where he doesn't know it's me.
And uh, I mean, how do you how do you feel about the fact that you've done this? How is this process? I mean feeling too.
I feel psychopathic, honestly, because not even like five minutes ago, I was looking at his location on snapshot and he wasn't at his house and they started to freak out because he is talking to the new girl I heard from his friend. I was freaking out. I was texting my friend Zac. I'm just like, do you know where she lives? And I sent a screen out of his location and he's like, how the hell am I supposed
to know? And then like I checked it again and then he was back at his house, so he was most likely driving on his way home.
Why do you think you're doing this? What are you like hoping to gain from following him on Instagram and uh looking at his location? Like what what is the end game here? Well?
You know how I said, we were off and on like situations like this has happened before with us, Okay, not as bad as this time, but that's why it kind of hurts the most. But like I'm kind of like praying like a few months, like on he'll like be through with that girl, and like I can like slide back and be like, hey, what's up? So you want to get back together?
Carly says, you're eighteen?
Right?
Yeah?
What are you still in high school? Are you freshmen in college?
What are you?
Where are you at?
Oh? Yeah, I'm still in high school. Okay month away from graduation?
Okay, two months away from graduation. What are he plans after graduation?
Honestly, I'm trying to move out of my parents' house, well, my dad and my stepmom's house, and recently had a fight with my mom. But I kind of need a place to stay in the area of the community college that I'm to be going to, so I'm thinking about making up with her so i can get a place.
It's not a bad idea at all. I guess the reason why I I'm asking you that is cause like you're at a You're at a super interesting point in life, you know, graduating high school, where the world is so vast and open to you. There's infinite possibilities for you to do whatever it is you want to do. I genuinely believe that I'm not saying it is like feel
good bullshit. So to to be stalking your ex on social media, whatever stalking means, and to be really fixated on the possibility of getting back with him, it is to just go complete tunnel vision, uh, and not even realize, even though it's just right in front of your right in front of your face, not even realize depth of opportunity, the depth of people out there in the world that there is the possible abilities are truly endless for you
at this point. And so in light of that, why would you want to continue to fixate on this guy. You know what, what are what are some things that you like want to do? Like do you have do have hobbies? Do you have interest? Do you have like aspirations of any kind?
Honestly, this year has been really rough, so I've lost a lot of.
Like those motivations.
He was my best friend and like I before he redated, you were best friends. And like, he's the person I talked to you every day more than like my actual friends. So like, that was the person I leaned on. That was the person I planned on having a somewhat of it. Like I knew it probably wouldn't last like forever, but like I guess a little bit longer. Like we have a cat together. My sister's holding currently taking that cat back now she's I'll refuse.
To give her up.
I think your time and you seem you know, you seem like a smart and away of person. I'm sure you know this already, but you know your time that you're spending, uh you know, conniving on Instagram and snapchat. Uh. It it is a it is a race to the bottom. I want you to understand that you do you do you you know I beneath the sort of addiction brain that you know we've all experienced that is very like a sort of brainwashy type of vibes beneath all that.
Do you do you recognize how it's a right to the bottom.
Yes, but I do realize it's like not a healthy thing. But like, I don't have anything else to focus on right now.
That's exactly it. That's exactly it, you know. And if you don't have anything to focus on, uh, what are you gonna do? You're gonna go on Instagram, you go on Snapchat. You're gonna be like, oh, he's at the park, he's at the fucking ice skating rink, whatever it is, because you have anything else to focus on. This is a good place you're at right now because you're not in denial. You know, you understand, you recognize that what
you're doing. You know, you might as you kind of sort of put it, that you're you're you almost feel like you're not in control, you know, but you're recognizing a lot of these things that you're not in control, that that it is a race to the bottom. It's good that you know that. So, I mean, we know we know that we're where that we are are our actions are not productive and and sometimes even a little destructive. Uh So, like what could we replace this with? Like
what are you going to study? And you said you're going to community college? Right, yeah, what do you what? What are we studying a community college?
I really don't have a full plan yet, but like since I was younger, I've always had this idea of being a debt. So most likely like veterinary science.
Word word word word word word, it's a good place to start. I mean that's the general direction I feel. Uh, is just that, like you need something, preferably that's not other people, that's not some new guy, even that's not you know, your friend. I mean, it could be your friends, but you'll preferably something that's Cats are nice. Taking care of a cat, it's nice, gets your mind off of things, you know, it's a whole Uh, you're providing for something else.
But like, what could you do that transmutes this energy that you're spending on Instagram and snapchat into something more productive? I don't know. I can't answer that question for you because you only know you, but like, if you can at least conscientiously show up every day knowing that that is your objective, that is your next step. I think you will eventually get there. Does that make does it make sense? Do you agree with that?
Oh? You're right, You're right.
What do you think about all this?
It's a hard tell to swallow. And I get these things, and I really do make an effort a lot. I try to go out with my friends, Like I try to go out on like on a date with somebody else to get my mind off things. I try to like like focus on my studies. Like I'm currently in theater, so I'm trying to focus on my play. But like it always goes back to that. But like, I guess I just got to keep on pushing for.
More.
I guess, uh, I gotta do more things because I feel like that's allowing myself time to think. And when I think, that's when it like really gets bad.
Oh yes, no, no, no, you never want to think. You never want to be alone with your thoughts. That's the game. That's that's all this, that's the whole game of everything. Why do you think I'm a get go on the computer right now, Carly, just to get away from let's stick, get away from the thoughts.
But but yeah, I feel like you're on a you're on a good track where you're conscientiously showing up every day with that in mind, and from there, at least in my experience, it's gonna be about time.
It's going to be about time. It's pretty fresh for you a month. Yeah, but uh, I think time plus uh awareness that uh stalking Snapchat is not the moves is the way to go. And please, for the love of God, delete those apps in that account.
You're right, you're right, you're right.
You to do it right now.
Yeah, I'll do it right now.
You do it right now.
I'm doing it right now.
Hey, you can delete both of them. Instagram never done nothing good for anyone except accept those influencers that get paid thirty thousand dollars to talk about water. Listen, Carly Jack, bless you, good luck to you. Anything else you want to say before we go?
Do you want a tarrat card reading?
Ooh maybe another time.
Understandable, but hey, that's a good thing to.
Get into, you know, if we're talking about things that you like doing, uh, tarrort card readings, start a small business, whatever it is, just throwing ideas out there. Thank you, man, appreciate Carly Forever. The cards have nothing to tell me that I don't already know. I don't know if that's true. I don't know if the cards have to tell me. I don't know if the cards talk. I don't know if I trust them.
Josh, Hey, how's it going?
How are you? Josh?
I'm well? How are you?
I'm a gecko on the computer? How how can I you know? I'm I'm I'm always I'm always sort of torn about you know, if i'm. I was about to say, how can I help you? But I don't know if I don't know if I can help you, Josh, unless if you think I can? Do you think I can help you with anything? Is there anything that you're fairly certain I could help you with?
You could give me like an am I the asshole evaluation on the little scenario?
I have?
Oh for sure? What's the scenario?
I was in Colorado for a week doing a lot of snowboarding, and we were indulging in the cannabis, and so I brought this electric rig called a puff Goo peak Pro. It's like four hund We were hitting that the whole time, and then, like last night before we flew out magically just like the glass shattered magically, like I just someone walked over and saw it and told me, and but like nobody nobody said anything about it, and like everybody was like I didn't do that, but like
I don't know about you. I don't know if you've ever used a bong, but like I feel like most people know if they break something, like it's pretty apparent. And everybody just like acted like they didn't know who did it. And I got like visibly upset, was like said some choice words and went to bed. And the next day, uh, I like mentioned something else about it.
One of the guys got like crazy upset, so a lot of like kind of harsh things to me, And I don't know, I just feel like I'm not I than like bijing Er an asshole in that situation, you know, Like I feel like if they were my friends, they could have just like owned up to it, like that glass replacement was probably like seventy bucks. Like I could give a fuck less about the glass, but like I just wanted someone to tell me like that they did it.
No, it's the principle. It's like what you know, we've been friends for how many years and you're not just gonna you know, we're all adults. You're not just gonna own up and tell me that you broke this thing.
Yeah, that's basically it. I was like, I mean, I can easily replace this tomorrow, but like, why would you just set it back? Like what if I did that to your car? What? I just hate your car by accident? And then like parked in the other spot and was like, I don't know what happened to dog.
Hmm. So did you ever find out how many how many guys were in this house?
I meet and three other dudes? One of the guys does not smoke. He's completely out of the picture. I know he wouldn't have even been near it.
Okay, so it's too two of them, And to this point, do they still adamantly deny that they had anything to do with it?
Uh?
Yeah, But the the one like the one didn't get upset or anything. Uh, he's the one that actually brought it up the shows to me because he was about to use it, and he was like, yeah, I think it's like broken at the top, and then I was I said, like, you did it. The other guy didn't really say much that night, and then the next day he was the one that like got crazy upset.
You think he's got.
I feel like he has something to hide, Like why would he slip out like that? Like it didn't it didn't correlate. Like he just started, like, you know, like taking like cheap shots at me and like attacking me for all this stuff. And I was like, why are you yelling? Like I wasn't yelling, you know, And I don't know. I felt like he definitely did it, and but I'd never accused him, you know. I just like, let me.
Ask you something, this guy who you think did it? What has your relationship been with him thus far? Like is this something that is completely out of character for him? Because I assume you've known this guy for a decent amount of time his trip with him, you have an established record of of who he is and what your relationship is like with him? What what is what does that record look like?
Right? So I've probably known him for two or three years. I met him through like a bunch of wake surfing guys, and he is definitely kind of like an like altercative person. I guess you could say, like I feel like he kind of enjoys that.
He enjoys confectations ever towards like that's yeah, yeah, and but like he's never really done anything towards like any of us to make me basically what happened like out of line for anything I've experienced within our friends group around him. But I've seen him get upset.
With other people like on like the ski slopes and stuff kind of similar to that.
M Okay, so you've observed him having a angry temperament in the past. Yeah, Now, are you, like, and look, be honest with me, are you one hundred percent sure that somebody broke your bong and that something freakish didn't happen like a cat came in and put it down, or the wind or anything like that. Are you like one hundred percent sure this was this was the act of a human.
I mean I had just used it like less than five minutes before I went to sit down and eat, and we were in an airbnb. There's like no animals or anything. And as a heavy base, like you have to like hit it with your hands and knock it over or something. So I've I find it like kind of hard to believe that would have just been like, oh, an accidental like swing, because like if it got knocked over or a form where it shattered, like it had to have gotten picked back up because it was bick back up.
Ooh, because it was standing back up, but it was damaged, right, Mmm, detective work going into this, all right, So this guy who you're pretty sure did it, because he's acting all emotional, he's freaking out. I don't know because when you told me that, if we're going, if we're playing detective here, I feel like the person who brought it to you could also be guilty. You know, we don't want to rule.
Him out record too, but like he was he I've known him for like ten years. I lived with him for like five years, and like we've both like broken each other's last four and just honestly like told each other and like just paid each other like whatever. Like you know, it was never a big deal. I would kind of trust him to tell me if if that was him, So okay, and like that. Also, when the other guy flipped out, he blamed it on my friend. I've known him for ten years.
Oh so the other the guy who flipped out blamed it on the guy even known for ten years.
Yeah, he was like it was probably him, Like trying to like clear himself.
Mm hmm. Yeah, this guy sounds super guilty. So mm hmm. So listen, I mean, are you going to continue your relationship with this guy who who you sort of now know to act a fool in in a in a in this manner.
Probably not. I mean, like my friend, my other friend, like ten year friend and I were talking on like a ski lift one of the days when it was just us, and he has some thoughts about it too, and said he might stop hanging out with him after this trip, and then all this stuff happened after that.
Okay, so this guy, he's this is not an isolated incident of of bad things.
Seem Yeah, it seems like it seems like all of us has slowly been kind of catching onto things.
Mm hmmm mm hmm. Well, it sounds like you have your plot forward established here in terms of whether or not you're gonna hang out with this guy again.
Oh yeah, that's yeah, that's definitely a big no.
What kind of bong was it again? The say It Say one more time?
The puff goo peak pro Are you gonna buy another one? Yeah? I'll probably just go get a glass replacement piece the next few days I guess I usually just only use this for traveling anyway, so it's not like pressing.
But you have a you have a travel one, a home one.
I have like yeah, like an actual piece of glass. This is more like electric setup kind of.
Hm.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people before we go?
Veiled back balls are really sick. If you've never hit those up, definitely do it.
What is it?
Uh?
The veil back balls at Veil resort, Veil resorts.
Like, all right, this is this is the scene of the crime here.
That's that's where we were. We were at Veil, Breckenridge, Teystone, Beaver Creek. Yeah, over five days. We hit four resorts over five days, and we hit Veiled twice.
Well, it sounds like aside from this long breaking incident, it was a pretty good weekend.
Oh yeah, I had the GoPro three sixty. That thing is so cool. Have you ever used it?
No?
I haven't. I got to get one though, because I want to do my gek walk things with that, So I'm gonna do you have a code?
Yeah, it's really cool. When you get it, sign up for the GoPro subscription. It's fifty hours a year, I think, and it's so worth it because if you break your GoPro, they just replace it, no question, and you can It's like unlimited cloud storage uploads, so all your videos you can upload to their cloud and there's no limit to it, which is pretty cool.
Well, Josh, I hope you're getting paid for this.
No, man, I'm just chilling on my couch.
Beautiful. Have a good night, Josh, you too, man. Hello, how's it going?
A lot?
Tell me? Tell me everything? A lot of Well here, Alana, it says here that you want to know if you should be mad that you recently found out that your dad got married a year ago and did not tell anybody.
Yeah, it was something I could talk about for sure, if you.
Want to talk about it, I I That's that's why we're here. We're here to talk on the phone. Alana. What's what happened here?
All right? Well, backstory, my dad and my parents separated about six years ago, and about three years ago we started dating this girl I don't want to say, I don't care Keana, and we all met her at my brother's eighteenth birthday party, which is at my dad's house, I like family house. Before my parents separated, and when we all pulled up and she was there, At first
I thought she was one of my brother's friends. And I was like trying to she looked really like she wasn't talking to anybody, and so I said, hey, do you be a swimsuit or you know, need any direction for bathroom or food? You know, let me know. She's like no, I'm good. Do you have you? And I was like, all right, have you seen Alan? I'm like my dad and she's like yeah, I'm like yeah, I
think he's in inside. And she's like all right, cool, thanks, and then she walked away and then kind of like clicked, like is that the girl that my dad say? And so she's found out she's my age, you know, one year older than me. I think, so I'm twenty six, she's twenty seven. So at first it was like a shock to find out that she was with someone for I was so young, but I wanted to be like happy for him and okay, and she's like all right, I wanted to have a companion, So I got I
was okay with it. I got used to it. She's really nice and whatever. But you know, since my parents separated, they my dad just kind of he wasn't the same dad. He hasn't been the same dad to them, and he's as he was to me, as in just like not showing up too, you know, sporting events or you know not. Also, he just stopped financially helping with my mom and like doesn't pay for child support or health bills or anything,
and so he doesn't help. And that just makes me, as the older sibling, you know, I just I have a lot of anger and I don't I'm not I'm not an angry person, and so I have so much anger for this one person that is like my dad, and so that's it's a I don't know, it's a shitty thing to feel, but it's hard when, like, you know, I just had my birthday a month ago and he made plans to get lunch and cancel them scheduled and canceled the rescheduling because he said his car broke down,
which I'm like, okay, he could suber, you could uber, I could stick you up. It's not an excuse. So it feels like there's all these things that just don't line up that makes it feel like that I should should I should forgive him, and just like you know, so.
You're you're twenty six. It has it always been like this with him?
Not since I guess like a couple of years after the divorce. Like when I was younger in high school, I was way closer with my dad than I was
with my mom, and then it switched. It's when I left for college, and then all this happened, because it's all happened when I was away for college, so you know, I wasn't home to be there through like the really hard part of it, like the first two years, and that was my sibling that went through it all, and and I was away, and then I came back after I graduated, and now I'm I just kind of started to see what the result of like everything happening, and
just you know, it's just not fair, and it's not about like fairness, and like it's just more of I want my siblings to like have had experienced the same dad that like I got the experience of who was the person taking me to practices and showing up to everything.
Have you told him that you're pissed off at him? Have you expressed to him that you know you felt like you guys used to be closer, Well, you say you said he knows. Yeah, but what makes you say he knows?
Because I did have so it was after I came back, like I lived, so I did live with him for about seven months with him and his girlfriend at the time. Now why it was up and down, but it can end on a great note. But I did talk to him, and I'm very honest. I guess I'm not someone that
really holds back how I feel. But I guess it's because I have expressed that to him so many times already, and I've had like sit down lunches with him where I've just said, like, you know, just show up to my sister's game, show up to my brother's game, just like be there. Why can't you just do that? And like, yeah, you know, he he's a salesman. He is really good at being all talk and then when it comes down, yeah.
Yeah he's he's he's he's trying to play people like a fiddle.
Really good salesman, Atlanta. Dude.
You know, I think that it's cool that you care so much about your your siblings and your that that you want them to have, uh, the same experience with your dad that you have a question.
Yeah sure, yeah, I have a question, So do you think that I, like you just said, like should I is it right for me to have these emotions that are not really attached directly to me, Like it's not like he's, yeah, he didn't cancel my birthday whatever, but it's not like the big things. He didn't directly do it to me. It's been like to my family, like to my sibilians and like my mom. So is it right for me or to feel this kind of anger with the things that he's done, not even too many
people I love? Or should I be able to have that separation of like you know, because I still love it. It's not like at the end of the day, I mean, you are mad at him, but like I love him and I care about him.
But here's what I'll tell you here, Like my my my thoughts is are you right to be mad? Of course, I don't think that feelings necessarily need a whole lot of justification, Like are you right to be mad? Who fucking cares you're mad? You know, it doesn't whether or not it's right, But I do. I do think this is something I've kind of been meditating on lately, is like there's only so much shit that's in your control,
like how your dad treats your siblings. You know, it's it's valid that it makes you mad, but I think you have to look at how that anger is serving you, like it is it propelling you to make some sort of conscious choice or take some sort of conscious action to your or anyone's benefit, Because at the end of the day, I feel like, while while I think it's it's it's noble of you, you clearly are a person that cares a lot about other people, that cares a
lot about your family, But I think that it might serve you to accept the fact that you can't control the actions of your dad. You can control how you talk to him, you can control how you treat him, you can control how you treat your siblings. And it sounds like from what you've told me, you've done all the things that you seems like you can. You've been honest, You've told him how you feel. You know, you can put as much effort as you want or don't want
into cultivating a relationship with him. But the end of the day, I think there does need to be a little bit of acceptance that you can't control his behavior. You can't you can't. As much as you as much as you try, you can't make him act any sort of way to you or to your siblings. But you have but you have other things. But you have other things in your control, Like you control how you act
to your siblings. So like, if you see something, if you feel like there's things that you got as a kid from your dad that you didn't that you see your siblings not getting and that pains you to see them not get it, Well, what can you do to give it to them?
Like?
Can you be more you know, loving and thoughtful toward your siblings. That's something that's in your control to do. You know, you can't make your dad do it, but you can sort of fill in the gaps that he's leaving, right And you know, I feel like that is a sort of productive application of your anger, you know. So so I would say take your anger. Take your anger, because you have it. You have your anger, and it's valid anger. Take it and apply it toward the transmute it.
Apply it towards the things that you can control. You can control how you act towards your dad, You can control how you act towards your siblings. But you cannot, under any circumstances, control how he acts towards them. What do you think about all that?
No, I completely agree with you. And you know, I do put, like, you know, expectations on people, and I get really hurt when you know they're not met. And it's just people are human and it's not fair to set any preconceived expectation on anyone, so you know, and I do my best to like you know, like you said, like fill the gaps like I you know, drove. I'll take my sister to tournaments and like you know, other states,
and I'll spend time with her. And now that I've moved back in you know, under my mom's new place, but with my sister or sharing a bathroom, and I think it's a good opportunity for us to like kind of you know, build our relationships and kind of be
that stiller. And she looks at me like a mom too much, because I'm like eight years older than her, and so I don't want to be and I don't want her to be because it's like I want her to look at me as like my sister, not like an older sister that she can talk to, not like an older mom.
But well, listen, I'm glad to hear that you are
finding ways to like transmute this anger. I think if I had to leave you with some sort of thesis of whatever this of of you know what this call is, it's like the solution would be to transmute that anger into u you know, productive things that you can do for yourself and your siblings, which it sounds like you're doing so, you know, props to you for you know, as we're talking about filling in those gaps before we go, Is there anything else you want to say to the
world or to they? You gotta go on the computer, m do you?
Yeah, thanks for taking my call. I called like four.
Times and hit time you know any times.
I know and you know, I know you don't. This is your platform originally wasn't for like therapy for people. It is just to talk. But I appreciate you always offering up the platform to like, you know, give advice.
I appreciate it.
Thank you, I appreciate I appreciate that I get I give a shot anytime I I feel like I can, I try, I try, and I try to.
At least.
The last thing I ever want is to be some kind of a guru. But if I have a thought that sounds that in my head, I'm like, this sounds like it kind of makes sense. I will, I will.
You've always sounded genuine and it's like, you know, I feel like people that I've listened to you like know that you're actually genuine and you'll listen to whoever talk about whatever. But ayways, I won't take any more of your time. But thanks, and I hope you have a good rest to your night.
Thank you for calling, Alana Ghek bless you. Never be kid goes on the line making your phone calls every night.
Never be Kid goes doing his eye.
He's teaching you loud liver your life, but he's not really an expert.