You know, Hey, what's up?
Hey?
What's up? Is this the gick?
Yes?
Who is this?
Oh? Hi?
I I wouldn't like to say my name, but in this case I will.
Okay, Diego Diego? Okay, you could just Diego, don't. You could have just given me a fake name. I don't. I don't need to know your real name.
Well, I don't think that we'll find me either, because on social media and stuff, I'm not like my real name.
So yeah, even if your real name was Diego, we weren't. They weren't going to be able to find you on social media just based off the name, unless if your Instagram handle would literally just be Diego, which is probably taken by some guys.
And I only have one name. That's the weirdest part though.
Wait real quick, can you take me off of speakerphone?
Oh I'm sorry, Yeah, I'm I have my AirPods on, so let me see.
Yeah, can you? Yeah, if you could just take me off of the air pods and just throw me right up on Yeah, where there you go? Great? So you only have one name?
Yes, that's that's weird. And you know what's the weirdness part? When I found my I don't want to say, so made and be all sees you know that she only has one name too?
You get out of here, like, legally you legally only have one name?
Really, yes, and.
Your girlfriends only has one name? But how do you legally only have one name?
Oh? Well, the good part of the story that I didn't even tell you that I'm from Mexico, so it's kind of legal right here.
Is that where you're calling me from right now?
Oh?
Yeah, yeah, I'm in Tijuana.
Just to be more exact, Oh, what's so, what's going on to you want to be because sometimes I hear it's awesome and then sometimes I hear it's crazy.
Yes, and I you know what, Uh, I knew that you were going to ask about that, and I didn't know how to just I mean, I'm not gonna go bias just because I live here. But I think that there is a misconception, you know, like, uh, some people it's like, yes, like we should go to the Tijuana is just drink alcohol and party and the whole of that.
But there's the other.
Part that there's you know, good coffee, there's the beach, there is everything that people don't see. Obviously, there's some bad neighborhoods as everywhere, but I think that there's some nice places too that you you can just go.
By the way, just so you know, because you you claimed that you are bias, and maybe maybe on maybe on the technical definition of bias, you are, but I don't think you're biased, Like that's not You're the person I want to talk to about it, Like like bias would be like a lady who's never been there that read like an article or something AKA my mom. But what what uh what part of t want to do you have and do you live in a nice neighborhood or do you live in like a crazy place?
Uh, well, I'm gonna be one hundred percent honest and well the true is that I don't think I was still gonna be biased because I have lived I have lived in every single part of it. Like I live in some of the toughest neighborhoods. I live in the you know, the mediums, I live in a condle, I have lived in a house, I have lived in another of that neighborhood. So yeah, dude, like it is just
like where you go to. I think that that's where you're gonna get Like maybe not ROVs but they're gonna take advantage of you, but it's not very often, to be honest, Like when I came, I thought that they were gonna do that to me because I'm not originally from Tijuana and not do it. Like the experiences that I've been through, They've been very nice to me.
Where where are you originally from?
I'm originally from Sonora, but it's like an order another border which is called Douglas, Arizona, so I used to live there.
Tecnaries, what do you do for work in Tijuana?
I do work in a call center as a QA.
Cool.
Yeah, pretty normal right here. And I'm gonna lie like you if you were in a border, it's pretty much like nine percent of the science. If you speak English, you're gonna work as a call center. I mean it's not a musk. But me as I don't have a career, which is kind of part of the of the context that I gave you on the message, right, I don't have many studies, but I decided just to go that route. This is the one that is going to be given me. You know, medical coverage and all that.
So, yeah, what kind of career did you want to pursue?
And This is very tough for me because I don't I don't want to claim myself as a I don't even know the word. But like you have many towns like multi multi esthetic. Oh yeah, there you go, that's the word. I wouldn't even know that word. But uh, I used to like to do, you know, sports. I used to like to do art. Like my drawing was kind of okay. I mean I really wasn't that good, but I knew about animation. I wanted to go that route. I started dancing. I was kind of good at breaking but then.
I just just for some context, is you texted me, and you texted me and you said, I am a breakdancer who barely got into parenting, and I'm having a tough decision to take in life. So let's let's back up for a second. You're a breakdancer.
Yes, I am a bee boy. We're known as that, a break boy.
Tell me more about how you got into that.
Yes, well I used to know what it was because well I was in the border right and we used to just get people from the other side just to come here and just do their showcases and all that. I as a kid, enjoy it, but I didn't really got into it since I was just trying everything. But just to go straight to the point, I must say that I just saw it like at sixteenth when I was just practicing in Mma, and I was like, you
know what did this shit is tied? Like EG used your body to just spin all way around and all of that, and I just started. However, I didn't have any like person that taught me, like in in my city. And one day I just came to Tijuana, said there's a trip, and then I saw that there was a bunch of dudes and well again I used to look at a lot of YouTube videos and all that, and I noticed that a lot of people, famous people was here. So then I just decided later when I finished my
my university, well I'm not finish it. But when I started and then decided to quit, I just came here to Tijuana and I noticed that there was a lot of level like a lot of dough breakers, and I stood here, hmm.
Well how long have you been breakdancing for? In total?
Well, I had two sides, Like when I started dancing, I would say like seventeen seventeen sixteen, But when I got into breaking, it's when I just got here in Tijuana, like twenty eighteen. I would say, how old.
Are you now?
I'm thirty?
Very nice, very nice. What's the scene like in Tijuana? Is it like cool? Are you meeting a lot of people? Are you going to crazy breakdance parties? Like it sounds like a sounds like kind of a crazy interesting community to be part of?
It?
Is it actually is? However, I did came and there were a lot of events, and since LA is just right here in the corner, people used to come and just compete and we used to have high level events. But COVID just just got I don't know, rid of all of that, meaning that both from now and then, there haven't been much events. And I actually am a part of a community that well, not not just breaking but I promote dancing because there is no promotions anymore, and I do work in that.
So his breakdown was break dancing at one point like kind of like a main career choice for you.
Yes, I will say that.
That sounds fucking awesome though, like promoting, so you you kind of did? You were putting on these events.
I'm doing like they're they're called open style, like wherever people just whichever start. I'm sorry, it just comes and just do their thing with the music. Because breaking part of the scene, like you're at least in Tijuana. It's uh, since there are there are a few of them, they just don't like to share maybe that much anymore, and they just leave us aside. So I said, like, you know what, why would I just leave everyone aside? Like kids want to learn maybe not breaking, but they want
to learn another thing. I'm just gonna promote dancing, like whichever the r form it is, I'm just gonna promote it. And one friend of mine just had that ideal, you know, and I said, you know what, we should do this and he's like, fuck yeah, Like they's just do it right away.
That's fucking awesome. I so, uh, you alluded to in your text having a tough decision to make what exactly And I'm sorry if I haven't gleaned it already, but what exactly would you say? Is this tough decision?
Yes?
Well, as I said, right too, I'm parenting right now. My child is barely just one one year old. It's been tough. But that tracked me into thinking, you know,
like really go outside of the box. And I was like, you know what, maybe this whole thing, even if I'm promoting it or if I'm just breaking I don't know if if this is all I want to you know, like, and I'm not saying like, uh, just do another hobby or do anything else, but just quit them for all and just go to another thing, like like I used to say, right, I used to like an a mat and just go for that. But should I just quit
or not? I was just having that decision and it doesn't let me leave, like very likely?
Interesting? Why so you're deciding whether or not you want to quit breakdancing and pursue something else?
Correct?
Yes?
Why did having a kid make you wonder if you should quit and pursue something else because you already have? Because I guess I was thinking it's like, well, if you had a kid and you're kind of like, oh should I keep? But you have a solid job for money, and this is I guess, like, why are you debating if you should drop? Why did have a kid make you debate if you should drop one hobby for another?
Right?
And I'm not dropping all the blame. I'm him right, definitely, No.
No, no, no, I don't I don't take it as I don't take it as but I don't take it as blaming your kid for something. I just take it as a life event making you reevaluate your.
Life yet definitely right. I just wanted to say that out loud, it because you know, we all have a talk like, oh shit, I had a cable, it's all over, right, but it is not. It just gave me another point of view that maybe I wasn't just looking at. And why am I asking this is because you know, like I well, breaking in all of the community gave me so much and I think I really owe him. I think it's just to be accountable, right. But in the other hand, I'm like, you know what, I just want
to do this. But then if I keep breaking, like my kids wouldn't attention, you know, and I didn't. I used to didn't have a job like this stable, I would say. I used to do street shows. I used to do uh, you know, working at hotels, just dancing and do all of that. Like I didn't have a stable job until I got with my partner. So I am thinking I won't have like enough time now just to do my arm form anymore. And I don't think I'm enjoying it that much. But I don't know if
it's just because of that. I'm very like kind of stressed with my mind, like why don't you just decide and go for something?
You know?
So why is I guess the idea that you're you don't have enough time. Is it that you don't have enough time to break dance and so you because you have spend more time with your kid and with your job. Or is that you're simply just not enjoying breakdancing.
Hmm, that's a great question. I think that that is that I don't have the time. But other thing, though, is that the type of people that they always tell me, right, well, you can just organize yourself when you can have time. But at least for me, like it's like when when you're creating a song, right, like you get this motivation and you're like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna write the biggest and best song ever. I I kind of feel that
we're breaking. But when it's a moment like I don't know, my kids needs attention, I need to do this, I need to do this.
You don't wanna, you don't let you don't want to, you don't like the half assed things. You only want to do something you can really do it.
Yeah, I feel you definitely, yes.
Yeah, okay, okay, well so your kids won right, Yes? Does there exist a universe where like, I mean fun because he so you're I mean, your kid's not even like in school anymore. No, I mean not not fucking not anymore. But yet I don't know why I said anymore.
Yeah, yes, yes.
He's graduated already. So your kid's not even in school yet. So I mean, yeah, you're at a phase I guess of parenthood that demands all of your attention. But one could say that in the future it'll demand it'll of course demand a lot of attention for a long time, but you could say in the future that I won't demand as much attention. Are you? But it has nothing to do with not enjoying breakdancing.
No, not at all. I think that when I do it, even the slightest time I have and I find that motivation, I'm like, oh the fuck, I remember now why I used to love to do this shit.
Okay, I don't think there's the whole idea of like, oh I don't want to do it unless if I can full send it is like, well, it doesn't make a lot of sense if you just enjoy the process of doing it. If you enjoy the process of doing it, then fucking just do it, right, you know, put pressure on yourself for it to be the most amazing breakdance routine of all time. You don't have to do that. You can just enjoy it, you know.
Fuck that's true. Another thing is that I used to say that, well, you know what if I didn't do it, but I didn't want want it to be a parent. But I also since I have all all of these things, like physical things that I can do, I was like, well, I'm well I was twenty nine, right, but well twenty eight kind of twenty nine. But I said, you know what, I don't want to be like at that at thirty five,
at least myself, right, that's my opinion. I don't want to be at that at thirty five, and then my chyle it's like twenty or seventeen and want to learn to do all of this and I cannot even stand or just run anymore. I just I just want to give that to him. So maybe that's why I Yeah, I'm struggling with that, but at the very end, I I was just considered to quitting it because because of that.
But yeah, well do you have another I mean, what other hobbies would you even want to do?
I think main one, I've been kind of enjoying doing videos, but I don't want to say the worst that. I mean, I don't know many many English just to say a word, but just kind of like uh, cinematic kind of looking videos, but for for a dance, you know, hmhmm.
That could be cool. Yeah, that could be cool. I like that idea. Yeah, man, I don't know. I don't that you you want to make videos. It's like it's like the skateboarding universe, like you're a skateboarder, but you also make skateboarding videos, or you kind of uh uh take a step back from the physical toll of the thing and get into uh, you know, supporting the community
in other ways. But look, man, I think if you like doing this and you feel like you can balance doing this when you can then taking care of your kid and making making money at your regular job, I don't think that. I think that like the whole pressure of like, oh I don't want to do it unless if I can be amazing all the time, is uh. I don't know. I don't think that's a compelling reason to not do something that you like to do. By the way, also, I'm gonna, I'm I bet the chat
has some questions for you. So I'm gonna, if you're down, take some.
Because I'm on my phone.
But here, yeah, you can you can keep you can keep twitch closed. I'm gonna I'll read the the questions if i'm.
Let's just override the Raygun questions.
Please Rey Gun.
Oh the girl the meme?
You know the the girl that is a meme that is from Australia.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Thank god you don't know about it. Shot will know. Shot will know. Definitely, they will know.
Uh.
Someone someone wants to know what your favorite? I have no hold on I what what do you? I'm not gonna ask. Someone wants to know. Do you do you teach your kid hip hop? I assume because he's one years old the answer is no. But a breakdancing baby would look pretty funny.
I mean, I I play the music definitely not very loud because well he's a kid still, but but he kind of like you know, like not his head the the kind of bounds and I'm like, fuck, he's doing or maybe I'm just like right there thinking that is it's him doing it right? It's but I think that I have I have teached him, but now I don't know if he has learned that yet.
Someone wants to know what your favorite beat is. I guess I don't know how you would even answer that question, like would you would you just kind of like beat box it.
To us my favorite beat, like like a song?
Yeah?
Mmm, I don't know. That's like kind of asking like a a person. I like movies, like what is their best of all time?
Right?
I don't know, bro, I think I'm gonna skip that. But but there's a ton of them, like I cannot even just name one, but there's a lot of good breakbeats right there.
Oh this was Oh I like this question. If you could be any animal so that you could dance differently as that animal, what animal would you want to be the dance as.
Hudos to the guy that or whoever is the person that has like, I never had thought of that, to be honest, But if I can use it to dance, m I think that that will be a turtle.
That is the last animal I thought that you would say, why my back forever?
Bro like that. I think that that's the biggest advantage of all.
Oh well yeah, I go, oh yeah, you can just get on your back and and spin and spin and spin.
Yeah.
I can just go home into die and just be there all day, all night between.
Yeah. But then your problem is is if you want to get back up, you're fucked.
Oh my god, that's true. They die right? Oh no, I can I just take my answer.
With someone said, uh, what's your signature move? If you have one?
Mmm, that's that's a great question too. Well, just to have a little bit of context for you file a signature move. It's like a really good move that you own. Technically every every single move is invented by this point.
But like a move.
But I would say that my signature move is doing a halo, called a move called halo to loadus, like when you cross your legs. Mmm, so yeah, you don't have those legs, Yes, a halo And then I crossed my legs and hold it into a freeze like you if if.
I google, if I google this, will it will it shut? Like a like? Is that a type of dance? A halo?
You can put like b boy like b as and boy b as and boy all why and then and then halo. Maybe it's but.
That looks do you like?
Oh that looks crazy? Do you like spin on your head and ship?
Yes I do? And my hands and on my bag, you know, all the package.
Uh, someone wants to know. Have you ever had to dance to protect your turf from an opposing dance group like in that movie?
Oh shit, yes I have?
And and are you really you have?
Yes?
Okay, sorry no, no, no, no, it's actually I was just gonna tell you, like, yes I have, and now thinking about it, it kind of feels like a movie. But when you're there, you feel the adrenaline like you you're just gonna get the whole night getting booed because you lost. Not you lost, right, But it's like I don't know, like like trailer No no, not like Tiller, like beat it like that thing with nice they do up with dancing. So that's how it feels.
Mm hmm.
Wait, so is it this is where you had to protect your turf? Like what does that look like like? People like roll up on you? Like, what what does it look like to be protecting your turf in a break dance battle.
Well, actually it's just like that, like they they threw some moves at you and you're you're just like, oh yeah, well shake this out. And then you keep going until someone just does a whack move and what that technically makes you win the battle? Right or just like if you hit a beat on point, well that makes you win the battle.
And they're like.
Whoa, but who, like who is the judge of who? Who is hitting a beat on point? Like how is this? Like that's decided?
Right, that's there's two points like in a competition, in a battle, there's judges, right, But like we call it ciphers, Like there's circles, like you know in a party that when I don't know, maybe Ron DMC comes on and everybody goes on on the circle, Like that's called a cipher. So if you go one on one again someone, there's no judge, but you start to see.
Like maybe if you.
Don't know many moves or anything, but you can feel it, maybe you're like, oh, yeah, that dude is owning him.
Okay. So it's just it's like a it's a vibe as to who won, like you exactly know whether or not you want okay, that makes sense. That makes sense. Have you ever ever lost? What does it feel like to lose that?
Oh? As a b boys, as a break break boy, you need to experience losing quite a lot of times before it just winning like everything else, right, but it feels rough, not gonna lie like you sometimes think that you want and then sometimes they do a bad call and they just let win the other dude, But it happens. I just finally understood it, like maybe one year and a half ago. I cannot endure it now I'm like, oh yeah, man, it's the moment another day, next day,
another person is going to be a shamp. So I used to feel it that way.
Now, so this person said, and this is I'm curious about this. What's the penalty for losing the turf war dance? Do you do? You do they like take your turf? Like, what do you do? You have to move out? Are you not allowed to go there anymore? What's that look like?
No, well, I'm not very familiar with with turf Like turfing is like another dance, but at least in breaking when you lose, like when you call someone out and then you lose, like well you simply lose, right, and they can just call you whack. This is you surely calling someone out and then losing. It's like when you are, I don't know, good at math and then you're like, well, I'm better than you're at math, and then someone comes in this is better than you. You're like, oh, shaid,
I'm gonna just shut my mouth. So it's kind of just like that intense.
Okay, so it's it's uh, it's just very embarrassing. But you're you're not like spanned from embarrassing. Okay, someone said this, this has a bit. The last question, somebody said, what's the best food going on in Tijuana?
Oh okay, well, uh, I'm gonna be honest. There's only one food that can be like very that the one is very known for, which is called Bria.
Oh yeah, sure that thing.
Oh you know it's perfect.
Well, yeah, we have like Berria taco stands and all that ship.
Yes, like they do have the best ones right here, but a personal one. And I'm gonna get this, you know, just because saying this, But I think fo right here because there's there there's a lot of Vietnamese people right here, but legit Vietnamese. It's not like you know a Mexican person is just doing them. No, it's just like Vietnamese people doing them. It's pretty fucking nice.
Oh that's cool.
Is there ever?
Did they ever do like Vietnamese Mexican fusion like a bond me taco or whatever.
They I haven't tried it, but they did one with what's it called with chorriso. I don't know if you're familiar with that. It's the kind of meat.
But.
I haven't tried it, to be honest, even though if I'm from here, I never had my thoughts on you know, I should try that. No, I just stick with the beef and shrimp.
Diego can people. I know you're trying to stay under the wraps, but like, do you want to promote your break dancing stuff at all? I'm I'm I'm certainly curious. But if you want to stay anonymous, that's cool.
I just rather not, just because I don't want to be like, you know, just because of this well that went viral. I just want like the community for its own name, just to be viral and then whenever you come to Tijuana you can be like, oh it's that that community, bro.
I would I would I've never been to Tijuana. I really want to go. If you're still putting on these events, fucking please let me know, or even if you want to send me a DM on Instagram so I can see, uh see what's going on, because I would. I don't. I don't have plans to go to Tijuana, but it's definitely a place I may end up at some point. I fucking love to go to one of these breakdance events that sounds awesome.
Definitely, dude, as soon as I see that you are heading down here or you're having planned I definitely will. But if if anyone else from right here in the chat just wants to come, definitely. You guys can just see the whole vibe right here in Tijuana, and I'm pretty sure that you're gonna end up having a nice time right here.
Fuck yeah, Well, thanks for sharing all this, Diego is uh hmmmm. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Yes, I think that I would never talk that. I'll just get in one of your calls, but just into the other side. Don't let uh if you ever come, if you ever are going to become a parent, just don't let that suck you up like it's just part of the process, and you're gonna love your kids like when you see them grown. It's it's a pretty fucking good moment to see.
Hey, thanks so much, Diego. Hopefully I'll see in Tijuana on.
That sure is it? Goodbye?
Thank you?
Good bye? Oh that was so nice. That was cool, man. Hell yeah, I got to you know, so, I just finished doing this big ass tour and I'm kind of like trying to stay put for a significant amount of time, but uh, I got I'd love to go back to making those those for those for those of you who just listened to this on podcasts, although actually I guess I've I've put audio versions of this kind of stuff out there, but I love doing the in person gecko shit.
So maybe I'm a little too tired to do it for the time being, but I'm definitely I want to return to doing that kind of shit, you know, just fucking hit up this guy the egg oh and be like and do being a gecko at a t you wanna breakdance event? That sounds awesome. Shout out Diego, Shout out Life, shout out to Juanna, and uh God, bless uh God. Bless the universe? Hello, Hello, Hey, what's up?
Man?
What's who are you? What's your name?
Yo? It's crazy.
Well it's my first time calling you and you actually answered.
What's up? How you doing?
What's up? My name is Eddie. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you to Eddie. What's uh? What what's you up to? How's life?
Not much?
Man?
You know, just graduated high school. I just got into trade school. I mean trying to trying to become age, you know. Cool?
I like that. Well, how was high school?
Did you?
Did you? Did you have a Are you gonna miss it? Or are you excited to be moving? Moving on in the universe?
Well, you know, sometimes when I scroll through my phone, I uh yeah, I think about the old times. You know, it feels like it was a decade ago, but it was just like a couple couple of months ago. You know.
Did you have a lot of friends?
I'm admitted for sure. Yeah I had a couple of friends, but you know, you know how it is when you graduate kind of stop stalking song. But yeah, I think I only have like one actual friend that I talked to and we hang out like when I'm when I'm not busy.
Do you do you like this friend? Are they someone you think you're gonna spend a lot of time with, Like, like you still do you see yourself still being friends with them a long time from now?
Yeah, I hope.
So, I hope so, man, because I try to. I try to hang out with the people that have kind of the same mentality as me, you know, because that's what they tell you, know, you are who you like to hang out with. That's what they told me since I was little.
So what's how would you describe this mentality?
Well, you know, just trying to progress and you know, keep moving in life however you can. And it's better if it's like however you like it to be.
You know, what, in what ways are you trying to progress?
Well? I have older brothers, like way older brothers, because my family kind of had me, Like my mom and dad had me when they were pretty like oh, like they were like thirty five when they had me, and so I grew up with a lot of role models and stuff like that. So they like made me feel sorry. They made me feel like I had a lot to prove because they all have good families and good jobs. So I'm just trying to be like them, you know, you know how it is?
Sure? Yeah? What can I hear? Any Like, who's a role model that you had growing up where you're like, I like, I like that guy's life. I want his life.
My brother, my brother, his name is Oscar Oscar. He has he has three kids and a wife, and he has his own house. He's got a brand new truck and every day, like I'm like, damn, I want to be like him. He's like he's always he always like he always has a goal in his head.
Like he's never.
He can't be still, you know, he can't be laying down watching TV. He's got to be doing something every day. That's what I like about him.
Mhm, Like what's he doing? What's his uh what's his like job or a business.
He's a he's a contractor and he has he's a supervisor for uh, for the district. So he's he's got like he made he maintains the schools like he's a he's a paint specialist, so he he has his own crewerning around like schools and stuff like that, painting, and he makes a key. He makes good money.
That's cool. Do you have a good relationship with him? Do you get to see him pretty often? It sounds like he's like a little yeah, yeah, we live.
We live.
Yeah, we live close to each other. I actually had to live with them a couple like maybe two years because my mom passed away from COVID.
Oh I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah, she passed away from COVID New Year of twenty nineteen when I was when I was sixteen, she passed away.
How's your dad doing?
My dad? He, well, he's doing fine. You know, he's in disability because because he has our tartist on his on his knee, So he pretty much just stayed at home and I lived with him to me him and my other brother. His name is Robert. He's a trucker. Yeah, he pretty mus just he's doing all right. He doesn't tell me a lot. He's a he like he likes to hide his feelings with jokes and stuff like that, so it's kind of hard to get. But I know he I know he keeps stuff deep down that he
doesn't tell me. And yeah, pretty much, I'll just try to make his day, you know, when every time he's in town, because he's he's like pretty much out all weekend, comes back on the weekends, And how's.
Your dad doing doing since your mom died? What's he what's he been up to? Has he been like working through all that? Like how's how's he been?
Yeah, I mean he's been, he's been. I guess you could say he's been working through it, but you know it gets him sometimes. But how can I explain this? So my dad, he he like he's not a very like hmm, like a responsible person. You know, he likes to he likes for you to help him out a lot. And yet like, of course, like I have I help him.
He's my dad and all that. But then again, like there's a there's a point where like you gotta you know, step it down a little bit because like if he like, there's points sometimes when I come home and he hasn't ate like he doesn't he hasn't ate no food, he hasn't nothing, Like he just lays down in bed, and I know he has the strength to do it. He's not that he's like just his mentality is just all like wrong, you know, like he doesn't try himself, like
push himself, like get up from bed. Every day when I come back from school and I see him in bed, I'm like, man, you could have at least got up and stretched your legs, you know, walked around a little bit, try to move those old bones. But it's kind of hard to make him because he doesn't like to take criticism. He starts, he he got to cry, or he gets mad. But yeah, I'm just trying to pretty much like stay in my lane, like trying to progress myself well, helping
my dad. And I mean, I know I'm not alone. I have a big family, but still, like I know, it mostly falls on me because if like stuff were to get worse, I think I would be the one that would happen to take care of him.
You know, That's that's really noble of you. Do you have? You said you have a big family. Who else is helping you out? Is it? I?
Is it?
Oscar? Well show? What's the name of the other one?
Robert?
Oscar?
Robert?
Are are those two? Are those two helping you out at all? Or do you have someone out like an uncle or an aunt helping you out?
Oh? It's it's mostly just me and my brother. But my sister in law, my my brother, Oscar's wife, she's like a mom to me pretty much. She called me every day and she she she makes me feel like like the still somebody that cares about me sometimes because you know, I lived with them. We got pretty close. I got pretty pretty much. I got close with all of them, are close with my nephew and my two nieces.
But yeah, others than that, that's pretty much it. Man, Like I got, I got my dad, I got my family, and I got well relationship wise. I'm talking to a girl right now. You know, I like to go to Mexico a lot because I'm from Mexico, Chihuahua, Mexico, and I like to go a lot. I have a lot of family over there too. I have a big family, man, you name you name a place I might have family there, like Oklahoma, Tulsa. I have a family in Oklahoma or Pasto. Pretty much in a lot of places, man, Kansas. We
we like spread out from Mexico. We say, came over here and we expanded.
You go to Mexico a lot to visit your family. When's the last time you went?
Yeah, uh, summer, last summer was summer.
Well, and this girl that you're talking to, she liveing in Mexico.
Yeah, where it's kind of like a long distance thing. But it's it's kind of that thing has been kind of driving me crazy too. Man. That was the main reason why I called you. I know you don't really like to do like relationship advice, but but like, yeah, we you know I I I I like you Atti.
You gotta you got a real good vibe about you. I'm I'm happy to talk to you about whatever you want to talk about.
Oh, thank you so much. Man. Yeah, you know what, bro, every time I fight with her, sometimes I can't sleep. I put you on and I go to sleep. I'm not gonna lie. So yeah, man, so.
You wanted to call it to talk specifically about something that's going on with her? What's what's? What's up?
It's because we tend to find a lot right now. We're not together. We used to be together. We broke up, but we always end up finding our way back to each other in a way and we end up talking again. Right now, we're talking again. But I'm like, she always makes me feel like what I have to say means nothing, because sometimes like let's say, there's been a couple of minutes or like you know, a couple hours, actually she
doesn't answer. I start to text it too much because yeah, I guess you could say I might have trust issues. I don't know, but she says like I don't trust her and all. But I mean it's it's kind of hard to trust somebody, you know, when they're further away. But I mean, she might not be doing nothing. It might just be mean.
Well let me let me let me ask you just some like how long have you been dating this girl for? Because you're you're what eighteen.
I'm twenty twenty.
How long you guys were dating for?
We've been dating for?
You could say, you know, I've been with her for a little more than a year, but we started dating a year a year from now, because.
I know you said it's been like on and off and stuff. So like, I guess when did you get help you guys meet You could.
Say maybe a year and a half ago. We met Still we met at a party.
But tell me what you mean when you say that she makes you feel like what you have to say doesn't matter.
Like every time I express myself she gets mad, you know, and she says it's the same thing over and over again, like everything you say is just like the same, and like pretty much every time I try to talk to her, she was just like end up making me feel like I'm the bad guy, you know, and I don't know. Maybe it might be me or it might be her. I don't know. Then again, it's hard to tell because
you know it's long distance. But you know, I like the girl and if you and the crazy thing is, she's the only girl I talk to that's not like part of my family.
Mhm.
I haven't really like try to go out, you know, I've been really spoken in school and work.
I guess that Well, maybe the reason I don't give a relationship advices because it's a kind of a I don't have my mind made up about a lot of things about that sphere sphere of life, but my gut tells me a few things, and one of them would be this girl who lives in Mexico. I mean, what's her life, like, what's she what's her universe? Because we know we know a little about yours.
She's going to college right now, she's she wants to be a psychologist m hm. And she has her mom, her dad, nice family, you know, like she seems real happy like with her family. And maybe maybe the thing is that makes me feel like insecurity to say is that I know it's something to happen between us, it would be easier for her to like move on and find somebody else, you know. M hm.
Why do you where's that like insecurity coming from?
Mm hm hm. Maybe with I don't know, to be honest, man, maybe because I don't feel like, you know, I deserve her. You could say that maybe yeah, but no, no, I know, I know, I'm I know, I'm I know my worst you know, like I know, there's not many people out here doing it like me because because you know, there's like where I went to where I went, where I went to high school, it was a you could say it was a pretty bad high school, a public high school,
oak Cliffe, Texas. And if the schools called Kimball just a f Kimball, I'm not sure if you know that school. But uh, yeah, I know a couple of my friends that passed away due to you know, choosing the wrong side, like like SPM said what he said he said, living living your life about the curse, I think something like that. But yeah, pretty much like most of them are, well not most of them, but like a couple of them, and they passed away due to doing some stuff that
they weren't supposed to be doing. And sometimes I feel like that could have been me, you know. But I'm just glad I chose the right, the right like right path in life.
Yeah.
You should be really proud of yourself about that.
Yeah, But then again, so I'm not. Another thing that bothers me is that I feel pressured.
Man.
So like this, this one time when I went over there to I was gonna go over there to Mexico, right, I was gonna go visit her. So where I'm from, it's it's just spark in Mexico, and then she's from Shihuahua, Chiawa City, so it's kind of it's not that close. But she went over there to to because she has family two over there, and that's how we met. And the planet was for me to go over there and visit her, but my brother. I was gonna go with my brother and at that time, I didn't have a
vehicle and we crashed. We crashed his car, and I told her, I'm still gonna go. I'm just not gonna be able to go over there. So maybe you could come over here to where I'm from, since you have family and I don't have family over there, because the plan with my brother was gonna take me and see her like for like maybe two days and then come back. But that didn't work out. And I told her, I'm gonna be over here so if you can't come see me, you know, pretty much like we're both doing the like
we're both putting the work to see each other, you know. Yeah, And she ended up telling me that I never go through with what I say, and she got mad. She did end up come seeing me, but then again, she always used it against me whenever I don't like follow through with something. But then again, she doesn't understand that when I'm like that, I don't have the luxury, you know, like I'm trying to work on myself to get my life right so I can have a life with you,
you know, But she just doesn't see that. She just sees the now like she's like if she if there's like love and you can do anything and all that, you don't love me like she she just pretty much makes me feel like shit, you know what I'm trying to say.
Yeah, so Eddie, what I will look. What I was gonna say to you is I think, especially at at twenty, is so like young. It's like, I think you should do a little bit of an audit, right, and then really think to yourself, because you you want the people who are around you to energize you and make you feel good about yourself, and you want to be excited about putting energy into them, and I really feel like
you shouldn't settle for anything less than that. And so you really got to kind of ask yourself if your relationships are making your life better and adding to it, or if they're making your life more stressful or more difficult and detracting from it. Especially you know, you man, because you got a you know, one of the things I really like about your talking to you is that you clearly have a a real fire in you to make your to make a good life for yourself. Ry
that's really I think that's really cool. I really I really admire that. I think that's awesome, and I I think you'll do it because you just have that thing and whatever, whatever, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Two just see, like focus on that and be focused on yourself and building the life that you want. Right.
Yeah, maybe I'm just like too focused on the wrong thing, you know.
Or maybeeah, maybe And also and also and also and also also the whole because you said a bunch of things. You were like, this person makes me feel like shit, and uh, yeah said that You've kind of alluded to this like sense of insecurity that you're feeling, which I'm quite familiar with that insecurity and it's, uh, it'll really make your life worse. And it's especially uh it's that insecurity.
You gotta really fucking take that out of your out of your fucking soul and put it on the counter and look at it and go, where the fuck is this coming from? And how do I deal with it so that I'm happier? You got to figure that out. And uh, because you and I don't. I don't have the answers and how to deal with insecurity. And I, you know, I'm still dealing with a lot of my
own insecurity in my life. And uh, but you gotta, you gotta, you gotta make these audits because you can't just because if you just keep going without thinking about these things and without you know, like when you like when you text your girlfriend twice because you think that she's cheating on you or you need you need from her, you gotta, yeah, you got to understand why you're doing that because and again I'm telling you this because I've been in a lot of situations like that where where
my insecurity has prompted me to I think act in ways that I'm like, I don't think that that's what a secure person would do. And so, yeah, so you really want to be very like, very fucking intentional and conscious about this so that you're moving forward more positive.
You know what?
Does that make sense?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I get it.
I get it.
It's like why are you in It's like, it's like, why are you insecure? Well, you're like like the thing of like I don't deserve her. It's like, well, why do I think I don't deserve her? It's like, well, because I'm looking at my life and I'm like, oh, I'm actually lacking these things that I wish I had, And it's like, well, fuck man, you can have them. You can do whatever you want.
Are You're right?
You're Eddie right?
Yep?
I do whatever you want, Eddie. You can do whatever you want.
Yeah I can. Yeah, I guess you're right. You're you're right. From cuse, I guess maybe where all that insecurity is coming from, is that she like, you know, how she tells me, I don't follow through, and maybe, like she tells me, I'm like, that makes me feel like I'm not like worth it, you know, And maybe the insecurity is coming from that she'll find somebody that she thinks is worth it.
Then let her do that.
You're right, at the end of the day, that's.
What if that's what she wants to do. But your you're I don't. I don't. Yeah, I think. I think handling your own insecurity and dealing with is like a really important part of life. And for some people, bull it's a it's a longer journey than others, but it's something to check and not just it's it's something that you I don't think is good to let go unchecked.
Yeah, yeah, I get you, man, But you're I I like.
Really, Eddie, I think you've got a good path ahead of you. I hope you're not. Don't have fucking drive. You drive yourself insane, taking care of your your dad and and dealing with this girl in Mexico. Because you I think you deserve a little a little effort into yourself right, because you've got a good vision. You're looking at your brother you're like, oh, he's got a family, he's got a a he's he's financially self sufficient. And
you you have strong goals. You want a good life for yourself, and you you seem like you're uh here to build it. And I makes I'm excited for you, Eddie.
Yeah, thank you, man. Yeah, I only got three more and three more months to go and I graduate. I already have my certification. I just got to wait tonight graduate though. But every day he's looking good.
Is there any Is there anything else that you wanted to talk about before we go or anything?
No? No, no, man, that's it. It's really helped me. Man.
I appreciate it.
Okay, good, good, good. I'm really happy to hear that. Good luck, Eddie.
I appreciate him. Man, you have a good one night.
Stay take care, take care.
I like to I like the guy a lot. He was cool. It gets it. It gets harder and harder to do this show. I think as a as a continue moving forward because I'm like, I don't, well, I do, I don't. I do feel like I know logically the correct answers to something, and that that guy was at a a an interesting stage of his life. But then sometimes I'm like, I've got him. I'm I'm crazy. This is boring. I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't
like these post call thoughts. We're keeping them in, but uh, let's keep them in, and let's let's we're gonna keep these post call thoughts in. I thought, I I thought I had something vulnerable and sage to say at the end of this phone call. And I didn't. And so I'm gonna make a fart noise. No, I'm not. I'm not gonna make a fart noise. That sounded I felt weird. Okay, I'm sorry. I drank a lot of mountain I drank some mountain dew, but I feel good. I feel good.
I drank some diet mountain dew. It's got I think it's got How many grams of caffeine is this Diamond Do have? This is not a sponsorship, by the way. I just I just like Diamond Do because it's got caffe you know, it's got ninety one milligrams. It's a lot. It's like a cup of think there's a cup of coffee. I'm not done with this post call thought. I'm not done with this post call thought. I feel like I still have something left to say. That was one of
those phone calls. That was honestly one of those phone calls just now where I was like I was on my personal level, I as a participant in that conversation, was so much less interested in any advice I had to give to that guy, and I was more interested in just looking into the window of his life because he's got an interesting life. I hope it works out.
It probably will, Yeah, he ranks. He ranks low on the list of callers where I hang up the phone and I'm like, I don't think that's things are going to work out for that person. I rarely think that though. I'm pretty optimistic because if if I can't be optimistic for other people, I can I don't think I could be opted. Like if I like if I called okay,
what I'm meant to say. If I can't be optimistic for the people, I don't think I can be optimistic for myself, you know, Like if I was talking to myself on the phone and then I hung up, hopefully I'd be like, you know, I'm not worried about that guy. I think he's gonna be all right. So I gotta be optimistic for other people I talked to on the phone if I can't be optimistic for myself when I talk to myself on the phone, Does that make sense? This is good? This is good. All right, This is
the end of my post call thought. Right now? Oh yeah, Hi, what's your name?
Hi?
My name is Clyde.
Clyde. Sorry, you're you're you're you're a little nervous, a.
Little nervous, little nervous guy. Right now.
Well, let me tell you something. This is the This is my new thing that I say to people who are nervous talking on This is and because I really mean it, is that this is, this phone call right now is one of the least important things you will ever do in your life. You will you will do at least three hundred more important things in your life, hopefully many more than whatever this phone call is about to be. So the steaks, true, the steaks are incredibly low for this.
It's not like objectively important. But it's kind of cool.
It's kind of cool. It is kind of cool. It's it's cool to be it's cool that we're talking. But the stakes are low. There's no this is not you're not being graded for this. You're not this is you've already there's no there's no reason to be to be nervous.
True true true. How's your day going?
My day's actually going pretty good. I'm back in New York for the first time in like a month because I was away. I'm back in my actual studio office space thing, and I feel uh, I feel good. I'm very comfortable with uh where I am at in literally this specific moment talking to you. How was your day?
Not bad? Not bad? My cat? My cat got sick this weekend, so that was that was a bit stressful, but uh, it took her. I took her to the vet today. She's kind of tweaking right now looking at the wall because there's something living in my walls, which is fun. But she's getting better, which is cool. But I gotta shoved stuff in her mouth.
It's always fun to It's always fun to have a cat. Clyde, what's up?
Man?
Would want? Would you want to talk about today?
Well, hmm, let's talk about Huh. I don't know, I forget I guess I kind of feel like I'm in the I'm in limbo right now. You know, I've been I got out of college about a year ago. Uh, I'm I'm in Ohio. Was born in Ohio, raised in Ohio, with the college in Ohio. Now I'm working in Ohio and I'm kind of just you know, doing enough to pay my bills and get by, but nothing really crazy has been going on.
Do you desire for more crazy things to be going on?
I want to travel more, like I got this. I got. I live with a roommate and he's traveling like all the time, like every month. He's like, Oh, I'm going to I'm going to a national park. I'm going to Minnesota, I'm going to Michigan, I'm going to go kayaking and Arizona. And I'm like, well, shit, I want to do that, but.
I well, you know, is it a financial thing.
It's such financial thing mostly.
You know you so you grew up in Ohio, you went to college in Ohio, and you have a job in Ohio.
Yeah? Yeah?
Is it?
Is it a good job?
Uh?
Yeah, it's pretty interesting. Actually I do. Uh, I do background investigations for the the Fed. Mister Biden, do.
They pay you sufficiently?
Well, the thing is it's my first year and they they like sponsored the stuff, so they're paying me low for the first year, but hopefully I will be getting paid more after this year.
Are you making are you are you making enough that you can save?
Uh?
Kin?
I am now at the point. Yes, I've recently uh did some financial magic.
What is your roommate? What's your roommate do for a living?
He's a server, you'd just be uh. He's sorts really good Italian food. But so it's like he got like his college all paid for okay mostly, and I did not act.
So you have you have, you have debt and he's not.
Yeah yeah, mm hmmm.
Well where do you want to go?
Oh?
I want to go to I really want to go see the Grand Canyon. I really want to see the Grand Canyon. I want to go camping, and I want to kayak in the Grand Canyon. That's I want to see that great crack so bad.
How much would it cost to go to the Grand Canyon?
I don't know.
See, that's that's my That's what that's that's where'm gonna that's where IM gonna stop you is because at least you, like, before you say that you can't do this thing, you should at least know how much you should at least look into it, you know what I mean? Yeah, Like, how are you, like, how are you gonna know whether or not you could afford to do something if you don't even know how much the thing costs to do.
That's true because you because a lot of these because a lot of these things you can look into and realize that it. Sure, it's you're not gonna get there for free, and you will obviously have to save, but it's could be way less than you thought it was. Whereas to just say, oh, it's probably too expensive and I'm never gonna be able to go is can be kind of defeatist.
That's true. That's yeah. I think that's just like my mindset, I guess, like growing up with my family, because they were always like like our vacations were like, let's go to Pennsylvania and see Grandpa Grandma and sure like the first time I ever got on a plane was like when I got this job and they flew me out to like go train and I was like, this is so cool. Oh my god, they give you a peanuts and water. This is crazy. But that's that's true, so true.
I just here's the thing, man, is, if you're you're in Ohio, and you want to travel and you've never been out before. You know, you have a job. It's a bummer to have student debt. But like if I were you, I would just go on the internet and like figure out how much it costs to do these things and then like, like have you done the math of like how much you have to save and all that.
Lately, I've been recovering my savings because my car like died this summer, right, and I've just I bought a car like out right, so my savings just like demolished, and I've been trying to build a back up. And then my cat just got sip sick this weekend and I just spent, like, man, I just I think I spent like thirteen hundred dollars in two days on her. That's okay, because I love her and she's great and she's pretty cool even though she's got any legs.
Sounds like a nice cat.
Nah, she's evil, but cool.
Well look, man, yeah, that's that that That's That's all I would say, is just like some do some math on it. You'll get you if you do some math on it, you'll eventually get to go.
Hell.
Yeah, Okay, I think I'll take a look at the great crack.
Is the Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go? Cliente.
Oh well, I hope everyone has a great day, and I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving, and I hope everyone has a good further holiday venture.
Good luck, Clyde. I hope, I hope you see the Grand Canyon. I hope you don't fall in. There's a lot of people who fall in.
Nah, no, no, thank you, all.
Right, see you, Clyde, see you get beacon goes on the line making your phone calls.
Every night.
Every beacon goes to what his im just teaching you, Cloud in the memory. Life's not mean.