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become a gek Legend today. All right, let's get into the episode. Hi, Hi, Lyle, Hey is this Susan?
It sure is?
What's going on, Susan? How's life?
It's good? I actually just saw you in Portland. My daughter lived there and she took me to your show and it was great.
Oh, seck, which one did you go to? The early one of the late one?
I saw the one with the lady with the condom in her nose and health the Mouse.
Ah, that one was pretty good. Yeah, hell yeah, Well thanks for hilarious. Did you know about my podcast before you came to the to the show?
Yeah? She had introduced that to me before and I thought you were hilarious. And when she said she had tickets, I was like, yeah, I want to go. And it was a good show.
Good good. I'm glad you had fun. Yeah, there's this whole I just got off of a whole run of the Pacific Northwest and I was a really fun ass time.
Did I hear that you're coming to Chicago?
Uh?
Next to next year, I'll come to Chicago. I already came to Chicago, but I'm going to do another tour next year. Hopefully if people show up, I'll uh, I will be in Chicago.
I'll bring all my friends.
Oh yes, what were you doing in Portland? Just visiting your daughter?
Yeah? My daughter moved out there a couple of years ago with her boyfriend, and I get out there maybe once or twice a year. To see her.
Nice, nice night. Did you guys do anything else besides go to my show?
Sure we did, but that was the epicenter of my visit. I just want you to know that.
Good.
But we did a lot of the foodie things. We did some hiking, some waterfalls, things like that.
Good, good, good. Well, I'm glad. The best compliment I've ever received is that my live show was more majestic than a waterfall. Did you go wish? What's the name of the waterfall you went too? I think I've been there before. What's it called?
Well? I mean, of course, she took me to Monoma, and she's in the cat right now, so she can write down the other ones that we went to. They were all cool. I'm just a waterfall person.
No, I appreciatetion. I do these shows with no fucking I mean, I go up. I have no idea what we're going to get into. So I'm glad that it was a good experience for you. But enough talking about my live show, Susan. What is it you called in to want to talk about today?
Well, listen, I've got a lot that I could talk about. Bell be Choosie. Right now, I work at a major coffee house. And I'm fifty seven, kind of a late bloomer in life. I had kids early, was in a bad relationship, got out of that, ended up on my own, ended up back into another bad situation. And Starbucks, that's a coffee company I landed. I've been there for about six years, and I'm just not happy anymore.
M Okay, So you've been there for six years. When did you start being unhappy or were you just unhappy the whole time?
Well, I'm gonna say that the first six months to a year were good, and then you know, I just started realizing what kind of people I was working with, and you know, didn't get treated the best. And you know, instead of quitting like a lot of people would, I chose to stuck it out. And this is where I'm at right now.
In what ways were the people not good to you?
Well, I mean, as you know, and there's nothing wrong with younger people, because I have two younger daughters, you know, And I mean I try to stay hi and I try to stay knowledgeable about, you know, the younger generations. But I'm the older one there at work, so there's not a lot of relatability there. Every once in a while, I feel like they look up me, up to me as like a mom. But a lot of times we don't have a lot of commonality. Hmm.
Okay, and do they? And I mean you said that you.
Get out of conversations, they don't. They don't.
Go ahead. I mean, I was gonna say, you said that they were treating you like actively poorly, and I was wondering if if they were being like hostile to you or or anything like that, but you were you were kind of explaining that.
Yeah. Well, there was just a couple of situations where we had we had a a trans person coming into the store and apparently they were soliciting up and down the strip mall that we have right there, and you know, it got really bad. They were coming into the store and doing this, and we were told the next time came in and were disruptive to call the police. Well that happened, and I called the police, and then all of a sudden, everyone was calling me racist. And it
wasn't about race at all. It was about someone coming into the store doing a bad thing, and we were told to respond in this manner.
Okay, were what were they soliciting?
Well, you know, they were either soliciting for money or they were soliciting for other things, you know.
Okay, hmmm. And the people that you work with have you have you worked with them for a while? Where is it kind of a rotation?
I would say it had been about a year.
Yeah.
No, you either have a first shift or you have a second shift. They did not overlap, so it was with the same shift.
M hm. When you what do you like? If you could do anything, what would you do?
Well, you know, I'm going to cut a long story short by saying when I was in my abusive relationship, he was a manager at a restaurant for a long time and he wanted to start his own business because he hated his job. So he went out and bought all this woodworking equipment and was set on making pens for a living. Now I have artistic ability, you know, in different areas, and he was like, well, you're going to do this. So he actually kind of forced me
to learn how to make pens. I design and make wood and acrylic writing pens on a lathe, And at first I didn't want to do it. He was controlling and it was like he was trying to live through me. But then I got really good at it, and he didn't like that. And I started learning marketing, and I started going to all these art shows and crash shows, and I was really shining introverted and then all of a sudden, I was a really good salesperson and he
didn't like that. And as soon as he found out that I was doing better than he could, he like lost interest in it and wouldn't help me anymore with it. So that's what I would be doing if I could do anything.
Okay, so pens and craftsmanship things with pens.
Yeah, I was making really good money with it. Before I was in art museum gift shop, I was selling to all these gift stores all over the country. I would spend hours on the white pages, Yellow pages, online and emailing hundreds of stores every day, and that's how I built my sales.
So what is it that's preventing you from doing that or stopped you from doing that?
Well, financially, it's only me. Right now, I'm going to tell you that I live in an apartment that I that I don't pay for right now because I can't and I have that going for me, but I still don't generate enough to get out on my own. My first goal is to get out of this living situation because it's not good for me. And then I would like to try to restart that business again, but I can't seem to get the momentum to do that.
I got a bunch of questions about stuff he just said, But why did why did the business? Why did you? Why did the business stop in the first place?
Number one, he lost interest in it when he saw that I was getting good and taking it over. And then I finally, because I lived with this person for I'm gonna say fifteen years. I had my two daughters with me. They were not his. He was not a nice person. He would do just horrible things like at the house, directed at me and directed at my children. And I finally, finally was given an opportunity to get out. My dad was he had cancer. He was dying, so I went and moved in so I could help him
until he passed. And then I ended up having to come back here. So I had to stop that because I left him.
Okay, and m M all right, And so what's again? I guess to go back to like the barriers between you and continuing to do this business because I know that beforehand, when you were doing it, it was like, you know, it seemed like it was a two person operation between you and that guy, And once that guy started to not want to be involved anymore, it just kind of slowly fucked things up. But now it it's been many years later and it's still something you're interested in.
I assume that there's upfront costs and time obligations and you know, a man power obligations and things that are between you and starting this business.
Yeah. Actually, when when I was running it before, we were living in a house. He was paying the rent. I had a huge garage and that was my workshop. I kept all of my tools, I kept all of my supplies. So I don't have to put any money in it right now. But I do not have a workshop space. I don't have a basement, and I don't have a garage.
Okay, so you have you have inventory and things, and you say you don't need to put money into it, except you do need a space. Yeah, okay, all right, So back to your living situation. You live for free and you say you don't have enough money to what is it that you need money in? My first space a workspace, I.
Need to get out of this living situation first, because the guy that that that I had left and I know this is this is gonna sound weird, but the guy that I had left when I came back after my dad died, I think he felt guilty. Although it did not change anything, did not change how my children felt about him, did not change how I felt about him. But he felt guilty, so he put me in an apartment and pays for it. I will never reconcile with him. I cannot wait to get out of this living situation
because number One, I feel indebted. Number Two, it's not a comfortable situation and I need my independence. I and I just it's so hard to get it now with this economy.
How long have you been living there for?
I moved back here in twenty seventeen.
Years, so you've been having rent free for six years.
I pay all the bills, but he pays the rent.
And in those six years, I don't I don't really know what the deal is with Starbucks, But like I, were you able to save up?
Yeah? I save up and then you know, things come up to where I need to fix the car or whatever, and then that kind of eats it down. During the pandemic. That's when it really got problematic because hours were greatly cut. And then my company, you know, they're looking to put newer equipment in the stores and whatnot, So of course
that means that the labor is down. So where you used to get fourty hours a week, there was one point where I was getting like twenty one hours a week just to maintain insurance.
And these days, these days, are you are you able to make are you able to make a full time living off of Starbucks to the point where you could at minimum find a roommate and rent the room.
You know, And I, honestly, I'm going to sound my age, but I've never even thought about living with the roommate. I never have. And I mean, maybe that's something that I have to visit, because maybe that's the only way I'm going to get out of here. My homepayn and I'll be very transparently pay after everything. Like the insurance is like twelve hundred dollars of paycheck.
How many how often you get paid?
I live in Chicago, in the suburbs, in a rich neighborhood.
How often you get paychecks? Say it again, how often are you getting paychecks?
Every every two weeks, so I get I get that twice a month.
Okay, so twenty four hundred bucks after tax So twenty four hundred bucks after taxes a.
Month before I pay my bills.
Yes, okay. So, and you don't want to live in this rent free place anymore because you don't want shit to do with that guy, which is a totally legitimate thing. Correct.
Well, I mean that's the way I feel right now. I mean, it just it gets it gets harder as I get older, Like I don't want to end up here when I'm ninety.
Yeah, I want. I listen. I want you to know. And okay, so, like you said to me, you you don't want to live there anymore because you don't want to feel like you're indebted to this guy who has not been cool to you. That's that's that you said, what you're telling me, Yeah, I want, I want. I want you to know if you do need to get a roommate or do something like that, there's no shame in it, especially if you know you're doing it as a result of, like you know, a fifteen year long
abusive relationship. There's no shame in doing that. If that is the thing that will bring you closer to doing a thing that makes you happy. And the thing with this pen thing, which it seemed as though you were very good at and you know, marketing, and you have the hustle of you know, going through the white pages and all that stuff. I mean, shit, man, I'd love to see it like try and do that again, especially if you don't have any upfront costs to doing it.
I mean, it sounds like you're doing it a long time ago and now there's you know, there's TikTok and Instagram and all these other things that you can use to promote and market products. And it's like, I'd love to see at least finegelar way to give it a try.
I know it's horrid to do it under the like financial circumstances, but if you have to get a roommate to avoid feeling like you're indebted to this guy you're an abusive relationship with for many years, I hope you don't take shame in that, because there's no I.
Don't reason, I don't see, I don't I don't feel I don't feel shamed because I ended up here. I will feel ashamed of myself as I stay here and a roommate, you know, would be great. I'm just I'm so afraid that that's going to be it for the rest of my life. Like I never got a chance to have my own house. I never got a chance to pay all the bills myself, you know, and I'm already fifty seven years old. I just feel like I
haven't accomplished what I want to accomplish. And I mean, I think one of the things that I want to tell your listeners is I envy all of you guys that are in your youth right now, and I just want you to know that you're going to hit a certain age and you're going to be like where did the time go? And it's a scary thing. It's really a scary thing.
I get it. I mean I don't get it because I'm not there, and I'm sure when i'm there, i'll get it. But like I guess, I just want to like, like, I'm not going to solve all of your life's problems in this phone call, but I do want to get like, yeah, taking all the emotion out of it and all the age stuff out of it and just looking very plainly at like what is between you and being happy and like figuring that out a little bit. Have you talked to your daughters about all this stuff.
My one daughter is listening right now, and I'm going to tell you I have been. We are extremely close and they know all about the difficulties when we were all living together and what went on. And I raised two very strong daughters. I just want you to know I'm so proud of them. They're both completely opposite and different, but they're both very strong women. And I feel like that was my biggest accomplishment in my life, because I didn't feel like I was strong and I didn't feel
like I was confident. And I am so glad that I was able to give that to them. But they can't fix my problem. I don't expect them to fix my problem, although I do joke with them and tell them when I'm geriatric, one of them is going to be changing my diapers, you know, whichever daughter decides to let me live with them when I can't take care of myself anymore.
Okay, I want I I I'm very happy to hear that you have a lot of pride in the way that you raised your daughters.
That's huge, and I really think it is m hm. I guess I'm trying to think, like, I hope, are you Are you happy these days?
No? And in all honesty, other than having my children and a few occasions here and there, I can't honestly say that I've really been happy. Am I saying that I'm like hugely depressed all the time? No, but I don't know what that is.
I guess for good. I feel like I've asked you this before over the course of this conversation, but just to go back to it, what do you think would make you happy?
Well? Number one, to get out of this living situation, to make enough money to support myself and to be able to start my business again. I would still work my coffee house job because they have excellent insurance benefits and I need those. Okay, they also give me free stock and whatnot. I would definitely be able to start this business at the part time. I could do it in my spare time because it's all based from home, unless I decided to go to an art show or
a craft show. My stopping point for that business is I am not savvy to set up one of the social media accounts for my pens. Maybe someone that's listening is savvy and would be able to get in touch with me and help me out because I.
Won't want you, I want to say, Susan, I I you know you could. And I'm going to go back to this because you talked about like when you were you you you you did a little you did a little woolf of Wall Street hustle and montage for me before earlier this you did. You did. You were like I was, you know, selling them to give shops, and I was going through the white pages and I was figuring out the marketing and I was getting really good
at it. It pissed off my husband. That's all all all of that shit that's still that that was not a that hustle and desire and all that stuff that's within you. You can it's still I believe it's still in you and can be applied to learning how to you know, fucking make tiktoks and things. So I think you're giving yourself not enough credit in terms of your ability to uh figure out the figure outable things because again you went, you gave me the whole Wolf of Wall Street montage
of you doing that you know, six years ago. And I don't think your ability to do that, if I could just get cheesy here for seconds. I think you're ability to do that is potentially only limited by your negative beliefs about yourself, which I get and I and I get I don't want to be like a fucking Tony Robbins dude, but like, you know what, what what other shot that we have?
You know?
So, so I think you're not giving yourself enough credit in terms of your potential to figure these things out. And and I wish you did, because you seem really cool and it seems like this is something that you like. And I do think that you could do it at least at least enough to like make some extra money, even if you're not you know, building a whole fucking empire, at least enough to get something going, you know, is an Is any of this making sense to you?
Right?
Yeah? It is? Listen. I have had a day and a half to lay here in my bed and think about it because I brought a bug back from Portland. My daughter ended up with COVID and I think I just have a bad case of the flu. But I've been laying in that sweating and just thinking about this stuff, which is why I got up the courage to give you a call because I really don't want to settle like this anymore. I want to get out of here. Life is short.
It is short, do it, Susan. I know, I know. It's sorry. I know it's sorry. I hate. I hate. It's like it's a bummer. I hate, I hate. You know. I want to be motivational, but I also understand the the difficulties that are present in just doing it. I really really really do.
Yep.
But but but like fuck, Susan, at least give it a try.
I think I'm gonna I'm gonna send you some pictures of my pens when we get off the phone, and you can.
Look at them.
Okay, I'll take a look at your pens. What do you have a Do you have any social media set up on your pens?
No? I just you know, I've got a regular Facebook, and I will post them on there occasionally, but I don't want to ever really looking at everything there. All right, Well, but when I get one, I will share it with you.
Okay. Well, Susan, I'm glad that I'm glad. I hope that this phone call was enjoyable for you. I appreciate you calling in and talking about all this stuff. I hope it was of some positive benefit to you. And thanks for sharing all of this.
Yeah, and I just want to thank you because you're giving my daughter and I another form of bonding by sharing in your show. So I appreciate you very much.
Of course, and talking to you, I'm now realizing that the Canadian accent and the Midwestern accent sound very similar, because I thought you were a Canadian for a little bit, and I remembered your.
Midwestern because it's from Chicago.
Uh, soonon, So anything else you want to say to the people the computer before we.
Go, No, just I love everyone on your show, and I like all the comments and all the suggestions, and thank you so much for listening. I appreciate you having an night.
Susan, thank you you too.
Bye bye.
Hm. I'm trying to think. I mean, I use pens to people, people still write stuff. Every year, people use pens a little bit less. But I mean, damn, okay, I just tried to be motivational. But then I'm now I'm like, yeah, every year, people use pens a little bit less. I mean it's I want to be I want to be motivational, but also not lie. Every year people use pens less, but in terms of like the not like the people who fucking are like connoisseurs and
appreciators of like artisan pens. You know those people. Every year a lot of them die because it's usually elderly people. But maybe they have children and they teach their children to appreciate pens. Do the pens, think, Susan, do it, do it, and let's see what I don't want to because I could sit here in conjecture, but there's only one way to find out if it'll work. All right, I want to eat a pen right now. I don't know why.
Hello, Hello, how are you? Hello? Lyle?
Yes?
What's up?
Man?
How are you?
How much? How are you? I'm just telling, uh, what's new? What's going on?
Just chilling? Nothing's new. You want to hear my story?
Uh, tell me to start with the middle. What's the middle of the story.
The middle of the story is I'm dangling by my fingertips on a billboard.
Oh that's a good middle. Yeah, let's hear the whole thing.
All right. So I was I was with my homies and we were doing some graffiti, and we decided to go hit this billboard, and we climbed up like forty feet on an I beam and I tried to pull myself up.
Fuck, I'm nervous, bro, You're nervous. You were you were dangling, You almost died, and you're nervous talking to an insane guy and a gecko pajamas on website. You almost died, man, you can do anything. Who are you? Tell me the story?
All right?
So I climbed like forty feet up an ibam and by the time I got up the ibeam, I was like, hella out of strength. So I tried to pull myself up, and I was dangling by my fingertips because I couldn't pull myself up, and then I had to like let go and slide down the ibam. And I was in jeans, shorts and a tank top. So I cut myself up hella bad and fell like forty feet to the ground. But I didn't even break any bones or anything. That shit was crazy.
You fell forty feet too, So okay, So you were dangling and you fell like so you like kind of slid down a pole.
I had to let go of the grip that I had on the billboard and grabbed the ibam and basically hug it and slide down it forty feet. It was like, yeah, for thirty or forty feet.
I don't know what was the billboard for, dude.
I couldn't tell you, honestly.
You have hit a lot of billboards when you tagged it.
I didn't tag it. I didn't even get all the way up I was.
I was with two other friends, like a billboard for like breast cancer research or something, and you were fucking.
You know.
It's funny. Okay, First of all, I wouldn't have done a penis because I'm actually I'm Hella Raw. We were gonna do some so bast pieces up there. But it's funny that you should mention that because I've hit a lot of billboards and I have a pattern of not looking at what they say before I get on them. And I've hit one for an adoption agency. And one time I got up on one and it was for like autism awareness, and I was like, you know, I would I feel too bad to go over that one.
So I ripped the billboard off and I painted underneath it, so I have You're.
The first person I've ever met that has used art to make the lives of children worse.
You know what, You have a point there, but it was not bad intentions.
So so you so you you defiled an autism awareness billboard to make one.
Of those no no I off things.
I ripped it off and I threw it off, and then I painted underneath it.
What did you paint underneath it?
I am not going to tell you because I gave the color of my real name.
Wait, hold on, I wait, okay, So okay, so we know it's something you would not want to be associated with.
Well, it's the secret name. I'm a graffiti writer. I've been in I've been writing graffiti for a long time.
What did you What did you write under the board? What did you put it under there?
Did we did we say my name on there?
I don't know. I can bleep it out if you want.
All right, Well, smiler, smiler, smiler, you wrote no, I wrote smiler? What is that's my name? That's well, that's what I write?
Did you put you? So you just put your own name?
Yeah?
Yeah, you climbed for you totally deserved the thing that happened to you at the beginning of this. You climbed, n you climbed the billboard, to get rid of an autism awareness ad to write your.
Own no, well, to be to be clear, these are separate instances.
But yeah, basically, somebody in the chat just seven aisle doesn't get graffiti. I don't know if this is me not getting graffiti.
Couldn't you have I think could get it, and you.
Have picked like a fucking Crispy Kreme at or something other than autism awareness.
I just I choked that up to unawareness because truly I didn't look at what it said before I went up there.
Awareness is important, I like, I like you were like, it's much more important for people to see my name than to see this.
Well, let me let me ask you something. What's the difference between me doing it and the advertisement agency doing it?
What are you talking about?
It's just that they paid for it.
What they did, the charity paid for people donate to autism Okay, sure, and then and then they're funding your stupid tank.
Yeah, that was an outlying instance. I've hit a lot of billboards. They're not all like that, you know.
Tell me which was tell me about the adoption agency one? What did you put on there?
I wrote? Smiler? I wrote smiler on every single one of them.
You didn't even write, and you didn't. Here's the thing, if you had replaced it, if you like, if you were bidding for attention with a greater cause of some kind, like if I don't know, even if you like had some kind of pretentious message behind, even if you drew a little fucking like I or something and you were like, well, this I represents world peace around. Even if you had intentions of some kind of a nice message of something,
it would still be douchey. But I but I would be like, Okay, at least he thought he was doing something, but you just tore it down to write your fucking name. You know what.
I was on a sick one, Lyle. I was on a sick one.
What does that mean?
It means I was acting crazy and I wasn't. I wasn't worried about anything in that moment.
Okay, tell me, do you write smiler on all of them?
Yeah? Yeah, dude, one day, but billboards aren't all it, dude.
One day, there's gonna be one of those kids at the at the orphanage is gonna make it big in uh politics in your local area. Yeah, they're gonna They're gonna fucking come for smiler, dude.
I'll I'll accept it. I'll accept my fate.
At that point, you're gonna get what's that movie Orphan Black?
I've never heard of it.
I've never heard of it either. I just is that a real Is that a real show Orphan Black? Or is that a movie?
I don't know. I don't know this movie.
What's about the chat is saying Somebody in the chat is saying, Brandon, we can keep all this chat stuff in. Somebody in the chat is saying that autism speaks as a hate group. I don't know why I repeated that. I don't want if that's I don't think that's true. But I have no idea. I'm not going to google that is No, I'm not repeating that. Okay, what else? What else have you got? What other billboards.
Down?
I've hit a lot of billboards, to be honest, I probably couldn't remember what a lot of them said. But I'm pretty much done hitting billboards. If it makes you feel comfortable, because I almost died doing it.
Wait, hold on, okay, somebody, actually, this might hold on. This might be your lucky day.
Man.
A lot of people in the chat are saying that Autism Speaks is like a bad group. Let me google this real quick.
Okay, all right, damn, they're fucking with me. Well, I'll bring it back to my original point. There was no intention. I didn't know what it said. So you could praise me, you could hate me. I didn't do I didn't really do anything.
I listen, here's the thing. I'm not going to put Autism Speaks on blast. I don't know anything about them. But apparently, apparently, apparently it's people are torn on it. So you're you're not You're not going to be universally condemned for your actions. But I don't know. I have no idea. Tell me some other billboards that you've defiled.
Well, I can't remember all of them. It's been it's been a long time, you know, it's been a long time I've been doing this.
You fucked over some kids, you did, you did?
Yeah?
Can you admit you fucked over with some kids?
Yeah? Yeah, okay, you know, yeah, you're right. I didn't look at that one before I got up. Also, and you know what, you know what, honestly, I hit an Apple one, an Apple one, an Apple billboard for the iPhone have you fucked?
Have you hit like because you know what, you actually fucked over a lot of people. Also because it's some because I know you've hit hundreds of billboards and you don't even know what it is. Some very hungry trucker drove drove by exit thirty five without having any idea that there was a McDonald's there, and you fucked that guy.
Yeah, I would argue that if someone wants McDonald's, they're going to see it. You know, they're going to find it. That billboard isn't going to make too much.
Of a difference. So are you a full time graffiti artist or does that not make a lot of money?
No, I'm a tattooer.
Actually, okay, you're graffitiing people's body.
Yeah, yep, tagging people's bodies. I'm on, I'm on tour right now with tattooing.
Give me some Give me some tattoos that you've done recently.
I did lover in graffiti letters on my friend's collarbones. I've been doing a lot of like alien ship lately, like aliens with like four shortened guns and like all kinds of just sci fi ship. My thing right now is kind of like characters with big shoes, and I'm like, hella into fashion, so I just dressed them up in like cool ass like trip pants and like new rock shoes that type of ship.
Like uh, like like who what characters?
My?
Just these little characters that I draw, just little like little brass.
I thought he was drawing, like like, uh, I was gonna say I was gonna use Mickey Mouse, but that would be a bad example because he already has big.
Shoes, yeah he does, and big ears.
How long you have been tattooed for.
Like two and a half years. I've been full time tattooing for like a year. Though.
What were you doing before you were tattoo artist?
I did a bunch of shit, but just random ass jobs like grocery stores, you know, cafeterias, dishwashing, sweeping, just random ass ship.
A few people in the chat are asking what your Instagram is. You can't I know that you wanted to stay You can if you want.
If they if they know they know, and they might know lyle they might.
You know what. I think that was a good idea. You sacrificed a good free self promotion bit in favor of not putting a face to the guy who defiled the adoption billboard. Now you are so so, you're so ever since the accident, you're giving up.
No, I'm not giving up on graffiti, just not like climbing like that. I learned it's not really worth it to risk my life.
Yeah, I feel like that was crazy. Yeah, I mean I feel like it's a karma thing.
Yeah, you could be right. You could be right. Believe me, I've thought about that.
There was definitely a few orphans late at night greasing up that billboard poll.
Yeah yeah, and.
Wow, where else are you going to tag now or have retired from billboards?
Well, sit Portland and then Seattle. That's what we're doing right now. But anywhere I'm considerate, you know, like I know you were, dude. You know what's fucked up? Because I was supposed to be at your San Francisco show. I had a ticket and I I couldn't go.
Why not.
Because I got sick?
Oh yeah, good reason.
Hey, look at that. I didn't put anybody at risk. I'm a good person.
Okay, yeah, we'll give you.
There we go. What I was looking forward to it, man, I was looking forward to I bought it like months in advance too.
It was a it was a good show that the San Francisco one. It was was it was good.
I'll be my friend. My friend went.
Did they like it?
Yeah, yeah, he liked it. He's also tattooer. He's here with me. Yeah, he's also a tattooer. He was there when I almost died. We had another crazy thing happened yesterday and in the name.
Of graffiti, what was it.
So we're up here tattooing in Portland right now. But we had to stop and get some spray paint on the way and he, I'm too scared to steal. But he went into home depot in Salem, Oregon. Damn, I'm
giving up all the for me. But he went into home depot and he tried to steel paint and he ended up having to run and like hopping fences and ship and I don't even have a license, but I had to take his car and pull over on the freeway where he was hiding in the bushes like there was no shoulder, but I had to like pull over up onto a hill and he like ran hell a far and got in the car and and we're good. But that happened too.
He's right, gets you into a lot of trouble.
Yeah, yeah, it does. You know, I have a question?
Low, Yeah, I give your friend the phone, all right, thank you? Bye?
Hey, what's up?
Dude?
Hey, what's up?
Man? I caught me and my friends. We did like some therapy Gecko tags outside of the show. Did you see those tiny chaps?
Wait? You did therapy echo tags? I want Yeah, I just say this on record real quick? Can I can you use a second I in no way, shape or form support the defiling of any adoption agency advertisements in the name advertisements.
It's good. It was like on a bus stop ad like some random ship just on the glass, and that dude, who knows they get changed?
What do you mean you can't? What do you mean who knows?
We dude?
Have we not been over there?
You get yo? Yeah?
Yeah they little Saint Jude's Hospital and wrote therapy Gecko.
Didn't you That would be heinous, that would be sucked up. But you know, like it's just being outside and playing around like it's I don't know, I don't think it's as deep as it. I don't know, it's not that deep. It's all good, you know.
Just I appreciate you spreading the word. But if you would just look at what it is, your spray painting on first, I got you.
I understand that. I respect that.
Send me send me a do you is it? Are you? Do you live near the area?
I live in Oakland?
Okay, the next time you're there, send me a picture. I want to see. Did you take a picture of it?
At least?
Uh? No, I didn't. I don't take pictures of a lot of stuff I do.
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll do a huge one for you on a blank freeway wall that is just literally a blank canvas. Is asking for it, you know.
Okay, Well, as long as.
I'll send you a picture, I'm not.
Criminally inflicted anyway in this. I'm on board.
No, you're good. I'm gonna do it regardless. I'll send it to you and you'll you'll get a kick awesome.
Is there anything else? If you guys want to say to the people of the computer before we.
Go, uh, I love y'all. Thank you so much, Thank you, guys.
I'll see, I'll see. I'll see you guys at the next I'm.
Gonna be at the next At that point, you will, I'll introduce myself.
Okay, perfect, you can spray paint.
I'll wear a sight, I'll I'll tattoo it. It's good, I'll give you a free tattoo, Lyle, I.
Don't know what I would want. I don't have any tatto. I don't have any tattoos. I'm not a big tattoo guy.
But let me do you.
Well, there's a there's probably a.
Good about it on the nose, don't you think?
What the get go?
Yeah?
Yeah, well you have a lot of time to think about.
It, right yeah, right now I'm with gorilla on the asshole, but my mind might change at some point, all right, can I guys? Thank you very much?
All right, thanks bye, dude.
It's definitely They definitely spray painted therapy gecko on like some kind of fucking children's cancer research thing, and now I'm a part of that. Hey, folks, it's Lyle. I'm here because I'm gonna end this podcast right now with a little clip from my a series of street interviews
that I did on the streets of Glasgow, Scotland. I do this thing where I go to foreign countries and set up a microphone and some chairs in various places and talk to whoever is down to talk to me and I was in Glasgow and I had a really interesting interview with this guy who like just left a alcohol detox like the I guess, like minutes before he sat down to talk to me, and we talked for a while. And after we talked, I was like, all right, listen, man, are you sure you want me to like use all
this stuff? And he was like insisted that that he wanted to, you know, tell his history and talk about this stuff. So here's a little here's a little clip from that. If you want to see the full thing of of my my adventures in Scotland, you can go to YouTube dot com slash lyle forever and type in being a Gecko in Scotland and the full thing will be there. I'll also put a link to it in the description. So let's transport ourselves from away from a tiny little room with no one else in it into
the streets of Glasgow, Scotland. What's your what's your name? Dude? What do I want to buy that? Sorry? Man, I don't have any pounds. What's your name? What's your name?
Robbie Mark Docre?
Robbie Mark Docre. What's going on with you?
Man?
What's you doing in the park today. How's it going well? I was at the Royal the Royal Infirmary.
De talking from alcohol. Oh okay, and then they wouldn't give me enough volume. Okay, so I was like this, like I just packed up my ship and then left and then got goos.
Okay, how are you? How are you feeling in life? In general?
I feel good. I was popped up on like siamine and all sorts of vet moons okay and stuff. So I'm probably looking and feeling better than I have in a while.
Okay, yeah, what hmm? What what kind of stuff makes you makes you look and feel good?
What do you mean?
What's what? What makes you feel happy?
Drugs?
Okay, that's fair.
Oh music, obviously they'll tell me about the music underworld o dB fucking trying to think who else's Stranglers, the Damned sex Pestols, uh and cet all kind of like nineties acid house, kind of like unknown stuff, Frankie Bones, Yanky Bones.
Do you play music at all? Do you make any music? What do what do you make music about?
I'm trained in that my mental like look at the camera, Oh you can look wherever. Yeah, I'm training. I'm trained. Then my mom likes to say I'm trained in classical violin, which I am, But if you want to be a violin I wouldn't know what the fuck to do. Yeah, but I play flam eco guitar, which is which is pretty cool.
Nice? Nice?
Why the why the green gecko suit? It's kind of dangerous in Glasgow? You know?
Is it really? Tell me?
Why? Well? Because everything else is orange and red and blue?
Oh oh? Is it like it's a dangerous to work green in Glasgow?
I'm kidding on. You've got you've got, you've got an army.
Okay, cool? Well, because I was gonna say, here's something like all these places I'm going to like, you could tell me anything and I would just believe you. Like if you told me that wearing green in Glasgow was, like I don't know, a sign of like disrespect to the locals, I'd be like, oh shit, I gotta change.
No, no, no, it's all it's just like there's so many areas where you know, how you've got red amber green? Sure, Like there's places in Glasgow like Prickton things where they actually paint over the green.
Like oh yeah, well, hey, I got a question for you. What is your tattoo on your next I mean that it says disconcerting smile.
Yeah, so when whenever someone asked it, and then it kind of makes you smile and it's kind of like a disconcerted smile.
Oh like, whenever somebody asks you about the tattoo, it makes them smile or you no.
No, no, no no no. If someone asked me, what does this like, why do you have disconcert and smile? Right then I can't help but like kind of smile and it's kind of disconcerted, like I've got bad smow, you know.
I don't know why what they say you have a bad smile.
I don't know, because I've got kind of shitty teeth. How many folks have you got on the YouTube? Don't say like two point one million.
Two point one that's not a few people watch. That's not nothing crazy.
Okay, ask me some more questions. I like, I like questions.
All right, what's your what's your dream in life to.
Make musical can become famous and destroy the world.
Why do you want to destroy the world.
Because it's disgusting?
What do you find disgusting about the world?
And that everyone tells ship jokes and laughs at each other's ship jokes and everyone's fake like form more people. You know, you see everyone like like over there, like they all set with in their you know, like little restaurants and they say like little quips, you know, and they and they're like, you know, and and and you know, it's just it's just like everything's just self gratulately congratulately ego trip. There's there seems to be a lot of things that are not real anymore.
Mm hmm. You feel like the world is disgusting because people aren't really disgusting.
I love I love late, I love life, but like I just I just think that there's a lot of things that there's a lot of wrongs that should be corrected.
What what What are some other wrongs that you feel should be corrected.
I don't know people that have like girls that have short hair and it's like colored. I don't like that.
But you, I mean you got color, you got like colored tattoos.
Yeah, I know. I drew myself. I've also got like cuts of arms. I did that myself too.
M hmm. All right, So your dream in life is to destroy the world, make music and and uh kind of hang out. What do you think about all day?
What do I think about old? That's a good question. I'm actually trying to answer your questions. Yea, genuinely, Well what do I think about all day? I think about my struggle with alcohol and how I love it though, and then I'm kind of like torn between, you know, should I love it or should I hate it? I think I think, I think, I think that there's there's
a thing do you know where the comedian patris O Neil. Yeah, right, so he said, have your opinions, but don't let your own your opinions, but don't let your opinions on you. I think there's a lot of things in life where, you know, like people like they let they let things on them without realizing it. Like you know, for example, if you have like a drug problem and you you have total abstinence, you you know, and you go, oh, this is my fourteenth fear sober, this is my twenty
eight fear sober. You're still kind of fucking controlled by it. Yeah, you're not doing it, you know. So Like I mean, I think a little bit of balance. I don't know, that's that's just my viewing.
No, No, that's I understand. I understand where that viewpoint comes from. It's like if you're like.
You're still controlled by it.
Yeah yeah, like like if you're whether you're a total abstination or total engulfing and it it's still has some form of power in your life. Yeah.
And also one but just one more thing because probably these guys like hate me and what like one mate stopped talking but no, no, no place. But I think people should people should train themselves to try and talk slower because language is so integral to like your psychology, and if you can slow down how you speak, you can appreciate things a lot better and you can see a lot more. Like for example, you know, like the
other week, I'll stay bananas. I was looking at the window listening to music and like a sparrow came and like hit like a bush. They can like bounced off it. Or there's like do you not a worthy giguess? You guys know what a worthy giggess?
You know what?
Like washing on It's like those little things are like shaped like squares and like yeah, so like there's this old woman and her husband died a few years ago. She lives behind us, so like our garden's kind of like a little bit like scwed and there was a crow landed on it. And it's fun like all the way around. So I think slow your life down so that you can appreciate just like little things like that. I think that's the most meaningful kind of shit.
Do you.
Do you make?
Do you record music at all? Okay?
Yeah, and it's not it's not. It's not like honey about in live where you can create you know, like a drum like you know, like a drum set, and you know like cut and paste it and add it on. You know, everything's recorded live through like a focused right interface and it's very kind of like balayriic and my idea. Just get it out there to whoever's listening and watching. And I'm not doing it because no one else has ever done it. I'm doing it because it comes natural.
But I'm gonna do like a an album that has a core progression, but then it kind of differs from it and then returns back to it, okay a few times accompanied by a visual you know, things that are kind of like postmodern, you know, because I hate postmodernism. So you know, for example, you know that like that seagull flying flying by a tree, a clip of that, and then a clup of a child like running, and then a clip of like a bomb hitting it, like hitting a rack, and then you know, a clup of
a whale up jump, you know, everything happening at one time. Yeah, and you know, like a coagulation of reality.
I want to ask you, I want to go back real quick to you. You you talked about like slowing down, Like is this a reason this this kind of realization you made of like, oh, I want to slow down a little bit more, And is that a recent thing? Is that a recent realization you've come to And if so, what made you come to that realization?
I think in the past few years I developed a lot of things that I'd never experienced before that were new to me, and they were a whole oh yeah, oh yeah, right, like they were they were foreign to me. Therefore I was afraid of them. But just because something's foreign to you, it doesn't mean you should be afraid
of it. You should fears your friend, not your enemy. Yeah, And so like you know, like when these kind of things happened, you know, like I developed a stutter when I'm stressed, you know, I get like a like a choke in my throat. That was really scary the first time I happened, but it doesn't scare me anymore. But I learned that the slower that I spoke, the more it kind of changed my psychology and the way that
I looked at things. You know, if someone is erratic and sped up and he speaking, you know, you know all they're thinking of is themselves. We've seen themselves in the mirror constantly, well you know, while they're talking. Whereas if you sow yourself down you can self express, and you know, you can you can actually see what's in front of you. M hm, that's what I think, m hm, mister gecko.
Yeah, what do you have a do have a job? Do you go to school? Do you do anything like that?
No?
I'm on l c w RA, which is Limited Capability for work and work related activity, which means that I receive well from that. Anyway, I received six hundred pounds a month for doing Sweet Fuck Call, and it's great because it's free money and also disability elements because of anxiety and bipolar, like generalized the anxiety, not like just normal.
So so you came you came here from from like a detaxing Yeah.
I came from here from hospital. I left. I just I packed up and said fuck this because I was shaking, like like like like.
Really really shaking. It was withdrawn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then the doctor when he just didn't give a fuck, he cared more like I said, about his beard and like looking good than me. And so I thought, if someone if someone in life, as far as I'm concerned, oh ship, sorry, right, yeah, I'm fine as far as I'm concerned. If if someone in life, right is so ego driven and you tried to have a truthful conversation with them, and you're not going to get a truthful response because their regal driven.
You know.
So for example, if this man thought that, you know, he is always going to be correct and he's never gonna listen to me, and I'm just this, you know whatever, this patient and he's the main guys, he's the star of the show, he's the main character in his movie.
You know, I like, I kind of thought to myself, Roberte, you could explain the truth, you know, you could explain to him that, you know, drinking twelve liters of cider a day and not eating and not sleeping and having half bottles of vodka in between that for years and years and years requires a little bit more than twenty milligrams of dazepam. He would take that as an ego kind of insult, almost as if I was telling him his job.
Sure, and you know.
Essentially yeah, and so I just I just I gave off. I just piped everything up and and laughed And I didn't even discharge myself. I just laughed.
You know, you seem like you're you're a smart guy. You're thinking a lot about uh, the camera, Oh shore, what is that?
It's my cross that Chiro with me everywhere?
Oh is that?
Who?
Where's where's your homie at? They gave that to you?
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, were there? So like when you said you were, like, there's there's that kind of tough dichotomy of like if you're drinking all the time, then it's got a hold of you, but also if you're completely upstaining, then it's got a hold of you. And you're thinking about like, because I assume you have, like you know, desires to to want to try to live like the best kind of life you can for yourself, Like how are you how do you how are you thinking about your situation?
Moving forward, Like, what do you think is the best way of moving forward for you to be happy and live a good life and do what's right for you.
I would say to be unconditional and for you to not think about yourself, to think about others and your relationships with others. And if you can maintain a lifestyle that you like and with and either benefit or not affect negatively other people, then that's kind of what you want toam for.
You know.
For example, you know, like I love alcohol, but you know, there there comes a point where you're not drinking to get drunk anymore. You're drinking to feel normal. So you have to keep it real and you know, and you
have to you have to be honest with yourself. And you know, there's like if there's one thing that I've learned and I always always tell older sis or this, see the moments in life where you where you stop and you kind of put your head between your legs and you know kind of like shake your head and maybe cry or you go, like, for example, I would go, Robbie, this is fucking bad, man, this is bad. Those are the moments in life that are the best moments in
life because they're true. You know, that's that's your self actualizing. You're no longer being a selfish, you know, self fulfilling you know, human being. You're you're you're being something out with that. You know, you're being what you're intended to be, which is you know, a good a good person that doesn't just live for yourself but lives for other people, you know. So like I just I believe in self actualization and you can achieve self actualization very easily purely
just ba. I am balance, you know, and like I always say, life wouldn't be so beautiful if it wasn't so painful. Yeah, okay, and that's not that's not some kind of you know, sound good, sound bait, you know, saying or whatever. You know, you know, whatever the case may be, it's as true.
You know, like.
You know you.
Life has to be painful, you know.
Can I ask who are like, like, when you're thinking about, you know, the other people in your life that you want to like be there for and try to help out in the context of all these things you're saying, like, who would those people be? Do you have people like that?
Well? I am I struggle with that one because sorry, I keep on holding it so far away. I struggle with that one because I think that I would love, I would love to be successful and for my children and my nieces and nephews if I have any in the future, and their children to be looked after. But I was my happiest when I had no money. And I'm not I'm not talking about that in a kind
of terrifaden, you know, biddest kind of sense. I just mean, you know, when I had no money, when I had no money for some reason, I was, I was happy. So you know, like so ROBO's question again.
Forget sorry man. So so I'm talking about like you talked about, like really wanting to like live life like not for yourself and all that stuff. And that's kind of what self actualization is. Who are some people in your life?
Who I mean if you look at like like have you ever watched it like Ozie Osbourne and his kids now? And okay, so Osborne sick, Yeah, but like he see his kid Jack TV shows a little shit, you know what I mean, because he gets everything he wants, and you know, we like like they're not treated like, you know, as if they're like actual children. So what would I want for people I would like for just to get
this on camera. I would like a non utilitarianist, non nihilist, non godless society where you don't just count on balancing good against evil and you actually just kind of have faith in the process of things and realize that there is nothing new under the sun. I'm not a Bible batter, but I think that people worry about a lot of things that they shouldn't worry about. Everything always seems to solve itself in one way or another, you know. And you could say, well, what if what if I got
diagnosed with pink creatic cancer right now? If I got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer right now, I don't know what I would do, But part of me kind of thinks I would laugh, because God has a sense of cure and me professing all these things, acting like a smart guy when I'm not really, I'm just a human being. Like, don't listen to a single word that I said. It just sounds good, or I hope it sounds good, but I just sound good. That's it. People are just good at sounding good.
What's your name again, man, Robbie, Robbie, nice to read you, Rabbi man, what's uh Is there anything else do you want to say to the people of the computer before we go, any final thoughts, feelings of sentiments.
I love you mum, I love your dad. This isn't a suicide message. It's just a normal message.
Good man, what do you do? What are you doing the rest of the day?
I don't know, drinking and probably getting sectioned.
I have a going around all right. By the way, you are not the first person to say that was Oliver. That's how who's Oliver read?
Uh?
Not really? Okay, I'll have to look him up. I have to look him up.
All right.
Oh, it's Lyle forever. Don't don't forget the fake bracelet thing?
Yeah?
Is that? Is that? Is that okay with you? Okay? Cool? Yeah, I'll probably put it on YouTube at some point. Yeah, I'll put it on YouTube at some point. Do you are you cool with me showing all you want me to blur your face or anything like that? All right, let's do it, all right, man? That one I won't
sign off on. Hey, hey, nice mate, your Robbie take care of god Buster too, man, you take care you know, it's interesting thinking about what he said about you know, if whether whether you're completely abstaining from something or completely engaged in something. It has a hold on you. That's interesting to think about. I have my own vices, I
have my own things. Now alcohol is not really one of them, you know, but fucking I mean, I was talking about eating Hamburger flavored potato chips, and that definitely is one of them. And I don't know, it was interesting talking to that guy. He seemed like, seemed like a smart dude. He seemed like, you know, he was struggling with some stuff, but that he also had a I don't know, some I will his his pessimism was sprinkled with notes of optimism. I think, at least it's
my interpretation of it. And he seems like it's a nice guy and the sweet guy and a guy with good intentions. And I wish him well and I hope that he eventually, you know, does whatever is the best option for him in his life. And I hope he doesn't discover the wopp or flavored potato chips, because that will just sink him deeper into some kind of hole. And I hope, I hope he sells that bracelet to someone. Maybe. Thank you, Robbie, God bless your really kid goes on
the line taking your phone calls every night. Everything can goes to a ride who's teaching you about in the midt of your life, but he's not really an expert.