Oh, hello this man?
Hi? Who is this? Who? Oh?
Man?
Hey?
Kick? Hey is John? How are you doing?
John? What's up? John? How's how's life? Brother? Have we ever spoken before?
No, man, I tripped over your thing. I was like doom scrolling on some terrible political crap and there is like this green guy talking about people and I think some of the was tightened boogers under their desk, and I could not get enough.
Rock and roll, Man, rock and roll.
I'll tell you.
Yeah, go ahead.
I'm just gonna say I have been spiraling on like trying to like help people and give them advice. And one of the big things have been telling everybody's dude, you got this problem, you should go to therapy. I've never gone to therapy, and I'm listening to you constantly say, you know, I'm a good dude in a green whatever. Maybe you could talk to someone who actually gets into this more. And I was like, that's a great point.
I've been doing therapy for the past like three months and it has been bomb ass great, really so happy dude.
Yeah, oh that's awesome. What how has it been helpful for you? Well?
I think first off, when someone gives you an opportunity to listen a lot. It gives you enough rope to start kind of hanging yourself. Yeah, so when I say something and I'm like, well, I'm a good person, but then I start like listening all the behaviors I have and it's like, okay, well I'm kind of compromising my values there. Yeah, it kind of puts a bigger spotlight on it. And I have a therapist who's really good
just like letting me do that. And I'm pretty just talk a million miles an hour anyway, So dude, the number of times she just kind of says, well, you just said this and this, which one are you? And it's like, well, and not that I have to choose one necessarily, but I realized I'm a very complex, contradictory person, and not necessarily in a bad way.
And it says, here, you're you're forty one years old. This is your first time doing therapy in all forty one years.
Yeah, I had I had a stint where growing up, I had a lot of problems with depression and I ended up with I guess it was a doctor and they did prescribe me some anti depressives that honestly were very helpful and kind of kickstarted me and got me out of my bedroom because I was just laying around at a fetal position all the time. And I thought, well, you know, that cured that I don't really need to talk about my feelings or my family or you know, am I in love with my mother or whatever weird
psychologist crap. And I just kind of plowed ahead. So meanwhile, it seemed like a good idea and talk. I just have too many any fears that I'm going to talk to someone who's gonna judge me, or they don't get where I'm from, or they're just gonna give me bad advice and you know, probably doesn't get covered by insurance or blah blah blah and be a waste of time.
They're gonna make it worse. So I've just kind of been doing self help books like a mofo for like, I don't know, twenty years, and it's fun to read, and you know a lot of that's very applicable.
So man, I mean, well, I'm curious. I guess what what are you working on? What are you trying to change?
Will?
Most of it's trying to stop and recognize where I'm at or what I actually want, you know, Like, I'm single, and I've been really bad at being single, Like it feels so much better to just have someone next to you who can support you, say you're attractive.
You know, what does that? What does that mean? What does that mean? Being bad at being single? Do you mean do you mean you're like you just don't like it?
Yeah, I just get really anxious, you know, I just want to fix that. It's a problem. I shouldn't be single. I'm kind of a lover, Like I just walk around and tell people how great they are all day. It's it's like the best thing mm hm. But meanwhile, the part where I'm alone, it's like I kind of have this picture of like the atomic family being the perfect ideal.
That really stood out to me when I got divorced and realized I had brushed the dream or whatever, which I had to ask myself, like, well, the dream was a husband and wife who hated each other and we're screaming at each other, and I, you know, it was a terrible household to be so choosing do I want to look like something out of a seventies family poster
or but scream? You know, you know when everyone leaves, or do I want to learn how to you know, have boundaries and have a little bit of self respect, you know, be alone and I kind of go with it, Oh I should be alone? And then like I get impatient with it and I just run and finds out it make me feel better about myself.
How long you've been single for since uh, the divorce or I guess I don't know if you I don't know if there were anyone in between. But how long you've been Singapore in these days?
It's been a journey. Like my first marriage was ten years, the second one was like three and a half years. And I've dated a few people since. I think that's the longest I have not dated somebody. And it's been about five months now something like that time.
But the longest you've not dated somebody since since uh?
I was married?
Okay, how old were you when you started dating the woman you married?
I was, this is the first person I ever dated. We were like twenty.
Wow, okay, yeah yeah.
And so I came from it.
Go ahead.
It was normal to get married at twenty for that group, Like by twenty one, you should have a couple of kids and be appropriating like crazy.
What is that group.
Oh so my parents were kind of interestingly enough, not Christians growing up necessarily, but they both became non denominational Christians, and then they became Southern Baptist Christians, and then they became Menonites, which are kind of like Amish, but like they have cars, they use computers, but they like don't do video games or CDs or that kind of thing. The women wear head coverings and dresses, and the men go and do construction work and do simple living kind
of thing. I was pretty tempted. I will say simple living takes a lot of the complexities out of your life and gives you a lot more community. But I'm just not quite a Nebraska is not quite my speed or lifestyle.
How old were you when you sort of deflected away from that community.
So I probably when I was about twenty two, So for about four years I wasn't officially men and like I wasn't in the club, but like I wore what they wore, and I kind of followed the rules. And meanwhile, I felt like I wanted to be a little more immersed in the world. Like they're a little more about kind of living their own life. They're not like commune kind of stuff, but they're they're definitely separated from most
of society, and I'm more of a people person. So that's kind of where I wanted to go, get into child education and counsel and I ended up doing like an after school program with kids that lived in projects in rural Wyoming.
Well, yeah, where'd you? Where did you go? Right after you when you were twenty two, right when you decided you did not want to be a Mennonite? I almost said, well, who's a good character from Curby? But go ahead, I need.
To catch up on that. So my family men and knights are not like all over the place. So they found a local chapter that was in Nebraska, and like I said, Nebraska wasn't my speed. I ended up moving to Wyoming, which we.
Had lived there a bit before.
So I ended up in the middle and we like to call Wyoming nowhere and I was literally in the middle of it. So it's just kind of rural area. I lived on an Indian reservation and just kind of hung out with simple folks out there.
And what was the deal with your wife? Was she also from Was she also a Metonite? And did she come with you to do all.
This, So she was she was a nurse, so she was not a mend and I and it wasn't like forbidden love or anything. And we kind of had seen each other from across the way. And I don't know, she read. When you're in a rural town and someone reads books, it's kind of like, oh my god, there's like ten of us. Not to say that rural America is illiterate, but most of my peers were wrestling and playing football and high five and and stuff. And I don't know. She was someone who just wanted to talk
about her feelings. And we had a lot in common that way. And so it's if everyone else is that different from you and that one person is that much the same, it's like, well man, we must be like perfect for each other because we both read books. And that was a little silly.
And so did she come with you when you left Nebraska?
Yeah?
So yeah, we actually, uh there was a small junior college in Wyoming, and I worked their IT department and she there was a nursing program there, so she actually got to uh to practice and be in the area, and she's actually still there. I left and moved to Oregon, So.
I mean So look, I'm sure you talked about this a billion times and you don't have to. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But you know what, how how do you think things deteriorated?
Man?
Yeah, I appreciate the flexibility or the choice, but I'm a very open book about it. And if anything else, I actually just talked to someone about this because they also were a Christian who just went through a divorce and they were sitting there trying to figure out how they're going to sec care of their children. You know, they were no longer contributing member of society because they
broke their valve. And you know, I like to speak of it and say, like, we do things that hurt people, and you hurt ourselves sometimes and it's not the end of the world. You trip and fall over, you do have to get up. And and meanwhile, like I tripped and fell over partly because well, I ended up in an emotional affair where one of my wife's friends really liked getting attention from me and it felt weird and
just kind of shrugged it off. And I at the same time was partnered with somebody that was not I wouldn't say she was asexual, but we did not have physical intimacy and that was kind of tough. So in came her friend to try to fix us, and it ended up being a huge manipulation play and it hurts all three of us, Like it was what do you.
What do you? What do you? What do you mean? What do you mean when you say the friend came in to try to fix you?
Well, so we we were having really terrible sex and my partner wasn't having an orgasm and I could kind of tell, and I was like, hey, I I saved myself for marriage because I wanted to give you a great relationship and part of that as a physical one.
And she really just didn't want to open up about it, and she was very uncomfortable talking to me about it, and so she kind of confided in her friend that, you know, while she really cared about me, the physical sexual part was something was she wasn't necessarily comfortable with. She didn't know what to do. And this person was like, oh, yeah, I've had sex all the time, it's great. Let me
let me try to help you out. And she kind of tried to help both of us out, but it ended up being she just kind of wanted to get my attention. I think.
That when she says, let me help you out. When she says let me help you out, what is what is that? Is she being like let me fuck your husband said get let me, let's do it? What what is that? What does help you out? Man?
So it was really like, because she was older, it was more like, let me talk to you about it or try to explain some of this. And so she was trying to like introduce her to toys or you know, self pleasure some of this other stuff. So on paper, no, she was not like, oh, let me just reach over and jerk them off while you watch. But over time there became more opportunities, well my opportunities. But she made these places where like, oh, how about you and I
talked about this a little bit. Let's let's just talk about this a little more. And what I like, Oh, by the way, here's how I enjoy having sex. Or I'm going to start touching myself and you can see how it works. And it was like I at that point knew what was happening was totally wrong, but I mean I enjoyed it. I was like, Hey, this woman is sexually aroused the family.
There's a Family Guy episode where I don't know if you know what I'm talking about, but there's a Family Guy episode where Peter and Lois buy this like Couples Counseling, uh videotape and they're they're in bed together watching the videotape and uh, the woman on the videotape says, now, this is the part where the wife can leave the room and I'm just going to talk to the husband, and so Lois leaves the room and then the rest of the tape is just the woman like taking off
all of her clothes and it's a porn and this kind of this kind of reminds me of that Family episode.
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I have always kind of been attracted to older women, Like my first crushes were like Mary Poppins and my friend's moms, And so this part where this older woman was like, oh, I'll kind of talk to you about sex, and then also like I'm gonna wear super low cut tops and just flirt
with you a lot and like say you're special. But all like this is and believe me, I know exactly the episode you're talking about, and that definitely I was like, oh my god, that was supposed to be a stupid joke, and it's like it's literally real.
So now when when you say when you say emotional affair, does that mean like, I mean did you? Did you and this older woman have sex? Man?
I you know, not that I actually wish I should did, but I kind of figure I got in enough trouble I might as well have. I literally didn't though, No, no like physical end pleasure whatsoever. I really didn't want to sleep with another woman other than my wife, and I really.
Like to do that.
Okay, so you did. You did not cheat on your wife.
Not not with my penis, And it's that's true.
So it was just so it was just you were forming this emotional connection with this woman. Yeah, way that your wife did not know about, right.
I mean they kind of talked about it. Like there is one point where I was watching TV and they were having some kind of like sexy pillow party in the other room and they're like, then you should come join us, and I was like, oh, no, no way am I going in there. And they both grabbed me and they were like wrestling with me, and I was like, this is ridiculous, and I guess they're just trying to mess with me. So from stuff like that, I would ask my wife like, does that say normal to you?
Like that?
That seems like a bit much like again the Family Guy episode, it's like, is this was was your was.
Your was your wife? Was your wife also into this woman?
I don't know a lot about my ex's sexual interests, to be honest, like could she be uh, somewhere on the spectrum just you know, not just sis gien? Possibly, but she really never opened up to me about it, so I don't know, but I wouldn't rule it out. I mean I kind of wondered, like because she didn't seem to be really into me, but like she liked me. We were really good friends.
So this led to the end of that marriage.
Yeah, it did not work out after that, the part where our friend started touching herself and having orgasms in front of me, I was like, Okay, that's wrong, We've actually gone too far. And meanwhile I was like, there's no way I can tell my wife about this, And I hid it from her for about six months, but it bothered me so bad that one day I just like came out and she was mortified and really upset, and I think her explanations like not telling me was
even worse than the fact that it happened. And meanwhile there was it was very difficult to find and any kind of trust, for we didn't have a lot of tools. Frankly, we were both very immature children at the time.
How old are you, guys.
Boy, boy, that must have all fallen apart together for nine years. I was probably like twenty nine to thirty by the time it all blew up, And I would say that my relationship and marriage was pretty unhealthy, so I didn't do a lot of growing from twenty to thirty.
I mentioned you mentioned at the beginning of this call that there was a lot of like screaming and fighting and stuff. Was that this marriage or was that the second one?
You know, it was kind of more my second. But I would say that there was a lot of times where I just didn't know how to emotionally regulate. That was not something that I learned how to do until I was like thirty five. I'd say that it's crazy how many books are out there that have like really basic information on just the breathing, you know, that can help a ton with that kind of stuff.
You didn't feel like you knew how to emotionally regulate until you were thirty five. Yeah, I had idea, well what do you well, Well, I guess, well, what how do you define emotionally regulating?
Well, A lot of it for me is being able to understand when I'm not happy, if something displeases me.
I mean, at first, it's just.
Going to annoy me. Eventually, if I leave it there, it's going to.
Drive you crazy.
I mean, I have a daughter and as an example, like a kid starts playing on a recorder and the first two times you hear a tweet, you know, you're like, okay, I guess she needs to learn this thing for a practice. By the time she's walking up to you, she's blown the thing in your ear and you're like, bro, you gotta stop, and you start yelling. It's like, well, I probably should have said something a minute ago, like the
first three tweets where it was just too loud. We should have had a conversation and being able to look into yourself and say, you know, I really don't like this, this is not okay. This you know, compromises my values or you know, I feel disrespected. You can say that right up front. And I was a very non confrontational person, and my dad was the only person taught me how to confront people, and it was by screaming. So I either don't say anything about it or I lose my ships.
And I had to find the medium ground to say I am not happy, but also I'm not freaking the fuck out right now that that's kind of like the crisis.
The ability to identify and communicate your feelings.
Yeah.
Yeah, And so him her judgment, when did you have your kid?
I had my kid and that was the second marriage actually, so I would have been about thirty's I'm bad at math. She's nine years old. Years ago, I had a baby.
Okay, is it just the wandi of it? Does she have a brother or sister?
Her mom has a son and daughter, so she has a brother and sister, but she's the only child that I have.
Okay, how is being a father?
Oh dude? You know, I never wanted to pro create, really like, it never occurred to me that I should have more little knees walking around. But my partner really wanted one. It was very important to her, and I thought, hey,
why not? And meanwhile, I wouldn't say it changes you as a person in terms of like some parents will say, like, well, you don't know, tell your parents, Like, actually most of it's pretty common sense and it doesn't like give you like special ability to do like parenting calculus that other civilians don't know. But it is the coolest shit ever. And I'm super proud that my daughter is basically me, Like she has so many of the joyful expressions and sharing,
and she's very emotionally in tune with people. I can tell when I'm getting extra frustrated that she notices, and she'll just like come up and pat me on the shoulder and tell me I should breathe. Like she's doing so much stuff to like manage emotions and other people's emotions at nine. You know that I didn't figure out until I was like thirty five. I mean, the world's
kind of going in crazy directions. But I'm very hopeful in the next generation in terms of them having better tools to manage their life.
So when you got all right, see you break up with your first wife because of this hot old lady, yeah, and then how and then when you when you meet your second wife.
So in announcing that I wanted to get divorced from my first wife, I was really depressed. I went to this bar and I sat there and I just had a couple of beers and my future wife was serving the bar right there, and she talked to me about the whole thing and listened really well. It was very empathetic, and it was very concerned because I was I was bummed and I was drinking, and so for her to just be like, hey, don't do anything stupid. You know, you need to chill out what the fuck's going on
and really helps turn me around. And it was probably one of the more like considerate, non judgmental people to kind of like listen. And I ended up get applying for a job to be a cook there just so I could spend more time with her and the whole group at that bar. And it allowed me to spend time with her and all in love and it was it was a pretty heavy rebound. Like I said, I did not wait long to just like get divorced and straight up to go next door to the next person
who happened to be single. Turns out it's usually not a good thing. I'm sure someone has had love at first sight. It's been fantastic but if you get divorced and then see love at first sight, it might be you might want to give it like five Mississippi or something.
Yeah. Sure, you're a little bit like, uh, you don't You never want to go into something with the idea that somebody will save you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's for sure. I would say that was something I always put in my datating profiles, like I'm not looking to be saved or save, Like, I just want to experience people and I want to appreciate people.
Well, and do you meet this?
Uh?
I was gonna say, so, so what were you guys fighting about?
Well, I believe that. Well, she did eventually get diagnosed with this, but when she got pregnant, she became a very unhappy, angry person, to the point of yelling and throwing things, and she was convinced. I was sleeping with the secretary at work. I mean, quite literally, the most cliche of things. And I was like, man, I mean, like, I moved all the way across the country with you to Oregon. You know, I have a baby on the way that I couldn't be more excited about, and you're
worried that I'm going to mess it all up. With some of at the front desk, and she would not be dissuaded. My best friend actually ended up calling me because she used to call him to see if I was doing any of the stuff, and he was like, maybe you should just sleep with the secretary because she seems to think that you have and you might as well, which at the time was hilarious and I appreciated the not taking the whole thing too seriously because I wasn't. I mean, I was too tired to try to move
my family across country and like not get fired. Like I was kind of risking a lot. And ultimately I we were yelling in front of my daughter, and I was like, I will never do that again. You know, my parents did that to me, And I was like, my kids should think that being around me it is the safest thing in their life. And if I'm compromising that, I will stop. I will do anything to stop that from happening. So I separated. I moved into a garage and refused to talk to her unless we had counseling,
and we talked about it. We worked through some things, but ultimately she was not going to let that go, and she was very angry and that it was a long time later that she went to a doctor and they're like, oh, yeah, you have postpartum depression, like really bad. And even that news to her was terrible because it meant she was quote unquote crazy. But it actually helped a lot because then she realized I can get help for this. This feeling of anger isn't because someone did
me wrong. It's because I'm sick and there's something I can do to manage that. So, I mean, fortunately we're amicable, you know, because we share child. It's important that you work together and take care of the human life. So sometimes we're a little we're a lot better at making that the priority than trying to slight each other today than we were before.
So whose garage were you living then?
Well, so it was the house we were in. She got the house, the kids got their bedrooms, and I just lived in the garage on the floor, which I don't know. I hate beds for some reason. I like when I'm not When I was single, like in high school and stuff, I preferred sleeping on the floor. In fact, being single right now, I'm I am, yet again living in my garage on a mat on the floor because it's simpler for me.
I don't know.
So what's next for you? Man? What are you? Well, let me ask, are you enjoying life?
Yeah?
I am. There's that saying that they say, like when you're young, you're broke, but you have all the time and energy in the world. And then when you're middle aged, you're not broke, but oh boy, lost track thoughts. You have money but you don't have Yeah, you definitely don't have time because you have some energy. And then when you're old, you definitely have money, but you don't have the energy at all.
Yeah.
So I'm definitely in that such situation where I can over commit myself really easily. But meanwhile I'm working to be to make myself a less of a footprint, Like I'm using the garage to literally shink shrink my living space to see like how many cubic feet I actually need in order to do my day to day life and then try to find a place that fits back effectively, because I if I have less to take care of my own, then I can kind of go out and
do things. And I would really like to be a photojournalist. You have ever heard of like humans of New York A? Yeah, sure, yeah, I'm a big fan of his. I think I've seen some videos of like how he does that. And I take a lot of public transportation here in Portland, and I have some kind of sticker on my face that says like, come talk to me, because every person that just all these people are like I hope they don't
talk to me. They definitely talk to me, and I don't know, there's a human inside, and you hear all these different experiences, and you know, from twenty feet away, you're like, the guy just smoke crack and he's gonna punch me if I get anywhere close. And then when he does, he's like, hey, did you know about my daughter?
Jesus Christ, No, tell me more. And then all of a sudden I hear about how this guy is a proud father and his daughter is actually like a really cool CEO something or other, and he, you know, taught her how to work hard, but now he just can't handle it and he prefers just being crabby on the screet yelling at people.
What do you What do you do for work? In Portland?
So I do it computer work and I'm actually a manager, so I work with kind of like data nerds and you know, techy people and programmers, and I'm kind of the guy that tries to connect the dots or enable people to get the most out of their day.
Well, John, you've you've You've become a very fun journey from Mennonite who does not use any technology to uh being an it guy. That's a fun journey.
Yeah. I'm pretty pretty proud of it. I'm living my best dad life. The other positive thing I'd say about having a kid is you can tell dad bad dad jokes because your dad.
It's your job.
Everyone should try it. Don't so you have kids, John, thanks for sharing this story.
Man.
I hope, I hope you're doing well. I'm glad you're going to real therapy. I'm glad that you're, you know, living a life where you're really prioritizing your kid. I mean, that's such a that's that's that's such a fucking important thing. A lot of people like I feel like they'll have kids and they don't realize that it's you know, when you have kids, it's like it just has to be the most important thing, you know, like it's just not something to fuck around with. And it doesn't sound like
you're fucking around with it. So I'm very very proud of you for that.
Yeah, thanks, man. I mean I'm sucking up a lot, but I think the biggest thing a parent can do is acknowledge that and just try to do better later. It's totally okay.
Is there anything else from your story or just in any whatever, any any any stuff for things that you want to say to the people before we go?
Man, I love that I got to talk to a green get Go therapist. My life is complete.
I love that I got to talk to talk to a man living in his girl in Portland named John.
Yeah, dude, it's been a pleasure. Thank you so much.
It's been a pleasure talking to you too. John. Good luck and uh I have I have I have faith in your further prosperity. I truly do you two get doing God's work later on?
Man kisses back.
I mean, you know, I liked that sometimes if I if someone's talking to me and I find their life interesting, especially if they're a little bit older. I know our podcast skews, you know, kind of towards people in their twenties. So I'm really happy to hear from a caller who's a little bit older and has a life to share, and I like hearing I like these calls. I like hearing people's I like hearing people's life stories because life is such a crazy, non linear thing and there's no
book on how to do it definitively. So one of the things you can do is listen to other people tell their life stories and glean whatever useful information of what to do or not do based off of what you hear other people say about their lives. And that's one of the fun things about interviewing people and doing this show. Those are my post call thoughts. Attention listeners
of the Therapy Gecko podcast. Do you know that I do a live version of this podcast on stage in person, in front of real people, and that I'm doing this live show in several cities across the United States this year, and that tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour dot com or at the link in the episode description. It is all true. I'm currently on my third tour doing Therapy Gecko Live all around the country and it is the most fun, sick, amazing thing ever and you
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Hello, Hello, is this big daddy? Lyle?
Sure is?
Now? How's it go? Uh?
It's going okay? Uh, it's all you know. What is crazy is at any given time, I can just decide that everything is going amazing. I I sort of I sort of believe that. I I I think as I I my my faith in that idea ebbs and flows. But lately it's it's been flowing. What's up with you? What's up with you? What are you doing?
I'm good, I'm good. Uh. I just say you were screaming and I was like, I gottitude into my favorite my favorite gek.
So I'm so honored to be to be your to be your favorite lizard. Thank you, thank you very much. Who's who's with you in the back? Someone's yelling, Yeah, it's my girlfriend.
She's like, she's very very excited that we got up.
All right, Well, I'm glad she's in the room because she deserves to know about this. I mean not really, who gives a ship? All right? You texted me and you said I have spent five thousand dollars on in game skins. Let's let's start with this. What game is this?
Oh?
The thing is I'm even do uh? League of Legends?
League of Legends? Well, yeah, okay, here's I This is my opinion as somebody who has never played League of Legends in his entire life, has no idea how it's played, just by looking at the screen. All the little guys that like it's an RTS, right, it's like about what
it's like a RTS sort of fucking thing. The little guys are so tiny, The little guys that you command around are so tiny that you you don't even get to look at the cool skin that you bought there's such a tiny little guys that you that you put in the.
Clothes you mean, yeah, I mean that's the whole point.
I mean, like when I play, like when you play, when you play street Fighter or like h Fortnite, you're buying like a cool al when you and when you're buying, and when you buy like a cool old costume, like your character takes up a lot of screen real estate, but in a mobile, it's just like putting. It's like buying clothes for your pet ants.
Sure, no, I mean that makes sense. I see what you say. But it makes me happy when they're in a pretty cute outfit. You know what I'm saying?
Like do you do you do? You have a lot of money?
Uh?
I have a lot of money to spend when I'm feeling cute?
Is what it is?
Are you in tell me this? Are you? Are you? Are you in financial turmoil?
No?
I mean, like the thing is like I've done well for myself. I'm not. I don't I come from money, but I've never had it given to me.
I guess like so once I hit like the the college phase of my life, I was like cut off. So all the money that I've you know made on my own. I've spent it on things that I enjoy, which.
Are pretty little skins for my little my little pals.
What do you do for a living?
I work in finance.
You work in finance, Yes, sir, okay, you're not like in you in any gambling debt or anything like that.
It's so funny, it's so funny. Uh no, no, but I.
Have like that would have been really funny if you got that would have really funny if just now you were like, oh my god, the way he asked that, that's so funny. Uh no, No, but seriously, i am in several thousand dollars. I'm glad the answer was no. I'm glad the answer was no to that question. Yes me.
But that's why that's why I'm calling in. I just wanted to take out a loan uh in the lyle business. No. But so to give you some background, I recently moved to New York, which gambling is.
Now uh.
Legal. So like I've been dipping my toes inn. I'm terrible, Like it's just awful.
So I've there's no really, there's no way to be good at it. Really, I mean it's there are games of chance. You literally can't be good at it.
That's true. That's true. Have you well, I know you. Actually, I'll just say yes because you uh, because I listened to you every day and I heard some mads for.
What's the question is?
No?
Sorry, it was it was just saying that you like, do you gamble it.
All I have? Maybe I've gambled, like when I go to Vegas, I'll play one not even any No. I was about to say when I go to Vegas, I'll play one slot machine, but that's not true. I actually went to Vegas a few one time. When I was in Vegas, I played the slot machines. But I'm not a gambling person at all. I'm not. I don't.
Say what I say again, have you done any shows in Vegas?
Yeah? I've done two shows. Two shows in Vegas. They're both really really fun. Shout out, shout out Wise Guys Comedy Club.
Yeah, but do so, guys, when you're coming to New York.
When am I coming to September sixth, get tickets therapy Gecko tour dot com.
That's my birthday month.
We gotta go, We gotta gotta go. Yeah, you gotta go. Do No, it's gonna be sick. So I'm I mean, I'm here now, so I'm just gonna walk over there. It's gonna be awesome. No, that one's gonna be fun. Okay, gambling, you gamble. I live in New York. Come to the Bell House, September sixth, therapy, gacko tour dot com. What part of that? Where are you? Where are you? I don't want to what's your give me your home address or I'm the call right now.
I'm in I'm in Manhattan.
Oh fuck? Do you live in Manhattan and you're spending five thousand dollars on League of Legend skins? How you you're how rich? How rich are you? How rich are you? How rich are you? That's the most rich. That's the richest thing I've ever heard.
First of all, I've been playing League for like ten years, so like this is a key list over time.
You know what?
You know what? You know what? You know what? Five thousand dollars on League of Legend skins over the course of a decade is not crazy, That's what I'm saying. That's not crazy at all. I thought you like dropped it all at once.
I guess, I mean that would be that would be insane, But as a fellow gamer, I feel like you would understand.
But because I know you're into Smash, which is yeah.
But here's here's the thing. Though I spend money on I spend money on on games. Yeah, like the game, like the games themselves.
What's the best game that you played recently?
The best game I played recently is the as the remake of Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door on the Nintendo Switch.
Yes, I heard you talking about it. Oh yeah, you like it.
Every time I I'm in the middle of playing a video game, I'll talk about it a lot on the podcast because because I can do whatever I want on on here, it's fun. There's a whole lot you keep deflecting to me while you have we haven't quite gotten into what's wrong with you?
All right, fair enough?
Do you do you want to share anything more about that? Or would you or we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But do you have anything more about about that?
Really?
Just like if I know it's fine if I'm like playing a character that like I really enjoy enjoy at the time, like I'll just buy a skin and like I like.
I like making my character look great, Like the idea of like in game skins like really enjoys.
Me because it's just like it's nice, you know, like especially if you're playing something.
Ask you a question, of course, do you buy clothes?
Yeah?
Yeah, in real life? Do you buy clothes in real life? I appreciate you guys are laughing at everything I say. But I think I don't I get I don't know if that's a funny question.
No, it's a great question. It's a great question. I I don't.
You don't so you you buy more clothes for the little legal legends guys than you do for yourself.
That's a bit because I spend more time playing. But it's true.
Goddamn you know that's uh live your life. I really have. I've been. I was last night. I was playing Paper Mario, and I had this genuine thought that I every time I'm sing this will happen when I'm playing video games, I'll think like I'm slowly dying. I try to, I try to think about the fact that it's not even I try to think about the fact that I'm slowly dying. And this is how this is like my life, This
is the little bit of time. This is a little flash of time that I get to experience, you know, however, and it's not guaranteed even, but like, this is my little flash of time in the infinite, infinite timeline of everything that ever was and everything that will ever be. You know, I'm right here. It's a very special time. What am I doing with that time? Is it fucked
up that I'm playing video games right now? I thought about that, and I was like, you know what, in that little flash of time, I'm fucking honored to be sitting here playing Paper Mario in the thousand Year Door.
I used to like guilt myself a little bit, maybe going like I could be doing something else, But like, honestly, if this was the last thing, if someone came in my house and shot me in the fucking head and like like a little a bullet hole went through the switch in my head and I died, I could definitely be like, you know what, I got to do it. I did it. We did it. That was a good way to that we I regret nothing is I guess
what I'm saying. I don't regret the time. I'm honored to be playing Paper Mario in the thousand year door in this back of my existence.
And I completely agree. Like I feel like I don't know, I've been like introspective about like life lately, and I think that like, yeah, you want to spend your time? How do you want to spend it? And like if that's what brings you to with then why the fuck not? Like there are plenty of.
Other people out there not doing things that they don't enjoy, So like, spend your life.
How you want to. And if paper Mario, which bangor gain by the way, Oh yeah, if you're like enjoying your time and you're not hurting anyone else, like fucking do whatever you want. But anyways, I think that's such a great thing doing what you enjoy And like if that is playing paper Mario, then hell yeah. If it's spending five thousand dollars on skins? Then do you.
Do you enjoy? Do you enjoy doing finance?
No?
Do you do you make do you make a lot of money? Do you make a lot of money doing it? Uh?
To a lot of people? Probably then yes, yes, I would I do I make these of money? Like do I enjoy it?
Do?
I think like you have to get a degree to do what I do.
No, are you You're not? Are you are you an Are you an investment banker?
No? I'm not.
Hm, hmmm, do you but do you do you? Do you fuck up the economy?
Are you just trying to do what I do?
I'm trying? Do you do something that like is like is not real, like hedge funds something I don't. I'm not gonna let this is not a time for me to give social economic critiques because I don't know what I'm talking about. But I'm just curious.
Uh No, I just I don't work in the I don't work in the money side. I guess this is what I'm trying to say.
I thought that that's what finance. I thought that's what finance means money, Like working.
For investment firms doesn't particularly mean that you are a banker or like you can work on like many different sides of working at banking, if that makes sense.
There's like there's.
Multiple places, so like you can work in HR. So like technically, maybe I'm being misleading saying that I work in finance, but like.
Work do you work in HR?
No?
You work for you work for We're an investment firm.
Yeah, So I just say I'm working man.
Do you like do you serve? Do you serve lunch to people there?
No?
I do not.
I do not.
I work in the more legal part.
You're a lawyer. You're a lunch lady lawyer. Yes, that's cool.
I served the the me loaf at lunch and.
That's so all right? Wait, all right, So so when your investment bank does something illegal, you convince everyone that is not.
Sorry, say that again.
Yeah, I'll spare you.
Uh no, I just sorry, go ahead.
Do you ever do you have parties? Ever? Do you ever have parties?
Yes? The finance and the finances parties are like a big part of it. We call it motion networking.
What are the is it like? Is it like wolf? Are you guys doing kludes and ship?
No? No, it's not like that at all. It's like way, it's way more boring than you actually like, we don't we don't do shit. Uh like sorry, the team that I work for doesn't do shit.
People are work with, you know, they party a lot more, espcially the fact that they're dealing with large amounts of money and like clients of the business.
Well, I'm debating whether or not we should end this call right here. If we should talk about finance for three more hours.
I mean I would love to.
Uh, let me ask the chat. Yeah, okay, let me ask the chat if they have any questions, and while they're writing questions, you can ask me your questions. What are your questions?
I want to know if you so.
I watched the documentary on you and like, oh sure, I'm a big fan.
I listened to you like all the time, especially all my commute to work. Do you have any pets?
Do I have any pets? Yeah, you sound like you're trying to get into my bank accounts. I have a dog? Well no, I mean no, No, that's not true. That's not true. I don't. I don't. I don't have I don't. I don't. I don't have a dog. But back home, my fan, my you know, parents have a dog and I consider that my dogs the dog I grew up with.
Oh what type of dog?
What's the other question?
Okay, my girlfriend just wants to you.
Oh sure, we'll ask her the questions from the chat.
Hi, lyle Andre, excuse me. He put me on to your chat and I work in finance as well, so I.
Can say, Hi, you guys are dual income? No, kids.
Yeah, WE'RED whatever the fuck you call them?
Sorry, yeah, you guys? Are you guys? Are? Do you guys are D? I? N L O L Wait you're you're du dual income. No league of Legends. That's when you'll really be financial free.
Have no idea you spent that much on league?
You had no idea. You had no idea he spent that much on legal legends? What do you think about? What do you think about that spending?
Good for him? I guess it like makes him happy. But at the same time, I'm like, what the fuck you spent so much money? So that's why I fell.
All right, I'll ask one more question from the chat. Uh, where did you guys go to college? Oh?
We can't answer that, but we went somewhere that wasn't a huge like place where financial firms went, so we were the underdogs. I guess yeah, yeah, well scholarships.
Is there anything else? Is there anything else you guys want to say to the people of the computer before we go? Andre?
I think, just like be kind of people honestly, like, uh, we're all going through this should show together, So just like be kind of people, like you're gonna make like live a much happier license you just are nice to everyone that you meet. So anyways, I've learned that from like being in New York, like because there are quite a bit of rude people here.
But like you.
But I don't know you ever see a guy You ever see a rude person who actually looks like they're having a pretty good time, you know what I mean? But I don't have you ever? Have you ever? I actually I yelled at an insurance company on the phone, uh the other day, and I actually that felt pretty good. So I'd be kind to people, but find a little.
Scam, whether it a scam call or was it like just insurance.
I'll talk to you soon, andre I thank you for calling.
On the line.
Making not really an expert.