Let's talk to Chris. Who is this Chris?
Hi?
What's going on?
Hey?
Are you?
I'm good. I'm a gecko on the computer, Chris. It says here that you've been getting angry very often, says you have a short temper, and you want to know why you've been getting angry easily?
Yeah, that that has been the case. A lot of people have been pointing that out. And you know, just after a certain situations or after a day, I'll think back on it. I'll be like, maybe I maybe I did overreacting, but I didn't used to be like that. Just the thing.
Interesting, Okay, So what when you said that you're short tempered? Now you get angry recently? Like what sorts of things have been making you angry?
Like like the small things, like for example, like if somebody were to ask me, like a really dumb question when they could answer themselves, like without having to ask.
Me, give me an example of a question like that.
I mean, I mean a good example I could give you is like if I'm if I park right next to the gas station after my car started beeping like low gas, and you know, the person in the passenger seat were asking me like, oh, we're getting gass like, yes, you know, ship your luck.
Okay, interesting, but I mean, okay, so that and that and something a little thing, a little thing like that just gets at you and makes you man, Yes.
But it's more like the accumulation of all those things in like one day.
Yeah, okay, So that's what I was gonna say. Is you know, I'm not a real therapist. I'm a gecko guy on the internet who is insane. But my hypothesis on this thing is that obviously you know, and you know this, everyone knows you're not actually mad that your friend asked you that question. Your anger is coming from a different place or from a as you said, accumulation of multiple things. And so I'm curious maybe we can get there where this anger is being redirected from. Do you have any ideas.
That's a good point, hmm, I mean, I I would have to think about that.
Tell tell me this, how is your how is your life going? Just on a macro level.
I mean, in my opinion, I'm really just starting it because after high school, which is like twenty twenty, you know, beginning of COVID all that, that's when I kind of became a homebody, you know, and I'm still kind of used to that. And I took a break from college and I'm just starting that off now too, So yeah, pretty much just at the start of things.
Okay, So you at the start of things and you said you took a break from college and now you're back. Yes, Okay, how are you enjoying college?
I mean it's not too bad. I'm actually doing it with my girlfriend, and she's the one that convinced me to, you know, go back, give it a try, and you know, after some talking, I'm trying to realize it probably is the easiest way to my perior path.
Okay, how are things are going with your girlfriend?
I would say pretty good. I mean we've been together for about a year and hast so yeah, I don't see any problems with her, but I mean she is one of the people that have pointed out that I get pretty uh angry quick.
Okay, all right, so things are going well with the girlfriends. You're at the beginning of your your life path, as you've said, are you do you? Are you? Are you having feelings of excitement? Are you you know there's a lot of potential energy with you right now? Are you like excited about what's to come.
I definitely kind of have like a love of hate relationship with it because I never liked school. You know, that's one of the reasons why I took a break in the first place. But like I said, it just makes sense how it's the easiest way to what I want to do. KA, So I'm just gonna give it a try, give in my all.
I guess, all right, So there's no anything going on in your life that is like, at least from what I'm gathering from what you're telling me, that is causing you a lot of anger and frustration in a big way.
I mean, I guess, I mean, I guess maybe like job wise, I could be fucking struggling a little bit. That that's I have a few regrets with my job choices.
Why is that?
Because I mean, I want to say, a year ago, I used to have like a really good job, like really good, and I quit because I don't know, I don't know why I quit, Like I should have just dealt with with what was like happening, But you know, I just got a I guess I got a little too quick with it and I quit, sure, and I regret it. I fund a job that good since I've had.
It, okay and disregret. Is it just like a passing thing or is it? Is it a prevalent source of anger in your day to day life.
I mean, I think about it frequently because it's like, right now, what I do is the job is I kind of just help out my father with you know, his job, and he pays me, and you know, that's just how I get my money. I'm able to pay like most of my stuff like that, but before I didn't really have to rely on you know, my dad or anything too, Like if my bills come through, it's just like, yeah, he he owes me money because like,
oh we did the work. But it just stucks having to go up to him like hey, can you send me the amount that I need and shit, or like I need money to go out. It's like I know I could probably just you know, I can always just ask him because it's it's my money, he said, I just have to. It's like whenever it's available.
It'll be there. But all right, so none of this stuff, I mean, if it doesn't sound like any of these stuff, I'm trying to poke around your brain and life and find anything that could be like really frustrating you. But it doesn't at least sound to me. I mean, sure, you have this regret about your job, but you know you're a human being. No human being has ever, you know,
lived with absolutely no regrets of anything ever. And it doesn't sound like, at least to me from the limited amount of information you've given me, that there is any large pain points. So I'm wondering why you're still getting upset at these little things, or like, what is triggering you to have such like.
Style right the best and honestly described like the the you know, so I guess me things is like when when something doesn't work how it's supposed to. Like if if one day, if I wake up in my daytube likes aren't working like this is just an example, then I'll get mad at like I'll like sort some ship and I would just ruin my morning.
Okay, interesting, you should read it. I'm gonna go. Can I have permission to say some doucheese? Of course you should read up on stoic philosophy. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I've read a whole bunch of books on it. But I feel like, you know the crux of it is, you know, accepting things that
you cannot control. See when you you have to. You gotta understand when you wake up and you get upset that your Bluetooth is not working, you are are wasting precious energy toward absolutely nothing productive, like this thing happened, and getting upset about it. It will not benefit you in the slightest. It won't motivate you to do anything about it. It is nothing but a pure waste of your precious energy to get upset about your bluetooth not working.
And I think that it takes a little bit of time, Like you know, you could hear me say that and go, oh, yeah, I guess you're right. But to really change your gut reaction, you've got to train yourself to understand that, and you have to do this in an intentional way. So tomorrow, when you wake up and your Bluetooth doesn't work, your gut reaction will be to get upset, and you have to intervene and stop the gut reaction by saying to yourself, this is a waste of energy. It's not going to
do anything. You know, I will just accept this and move on with my day. And the more mornings that you do that, when your Bluetooth isn't working or when your friend asks you why you're getting gas, your gut reaction will slowly start to be replaced by that thought. Does that make sense?
Yeah, yeah, it doesn't make sense. So yeah, yeah I should, that's for sure.
So next time you you just just do do this. You know, your your anger and your frustration occasionally can be a useful tool if it propels you into some form of action that can be beneficial to the situation you're in. But like most of the time, it's just a complete and utter waste of your precious energy, you know, because if you go around being fucking pissed off at every single opportunity that you have to get pissed off, you're're gonna be miserable.
You know.
Like if you're there are these people who uh you know, uh, like if I'm in the passenger car with somebody who is like an angry driver and they're always beeping or like somebody, let's say, cuts them off in traffic, and then five minutes later they're still talking about the person that cuts them off in traffic, It's like, what are you doing? Just be like, oh fuck, that happens, and
then completely move on with your life. It's it's it's not an effective way to be to get pissed off at every opportunity that you have to get pissed off.
Yeah, yeah, honestly, that's That was a pretty good example of like a few of my days.
Okay, is that a thing for you? You get pissed off and like traffic, key car situations.
Yes, like absolutely, yes, yeah.
Man, just just try to recognize what your gut reaction is to these situations, like get on the step ladder and observe your own reactions and then put forth intentional effort to change them.
Here, here's something funny that happened this one time. So, like I said, I'm not a very good traffic person, so I try to avoid that as much as possible. My girl is like thirty mints away from me. Like with traffic, it's an hour, but I don't mind it at all. But usually I dropped off at like two in the morning because that was after work. We used to work at like a movie theater, and then I
would just go back home late at night. One day, I dropped off early, and I forgot that the roads would probably be you know full, but it was like whatever, I get on the road and this one time, like bumper the number traffic moving five months while on the highway, and I said, you know what, it's okay, we'll get home eventually. You know, it was a good day. We'll
just relaxed, sit back, listen to a podcasts. Right. Yeah, my car overheated because of how long hours in traffic and I had to pull over and waited until like twelve am to actually start getting home.
Yeah.
Then the one time I wasn't impatient.
And that pissed you off.
Yes, like unbelievably.
Uh yeah, I mean, listen, it sounds like in that situation, you did the best you could. But you'll get Listen, man, you'll get to a point where you'll you'll you'll be like, I mean, looking back on that now, I mean, that's super funny that you were patient in this. It's funny. It's funny. You see, it's funny. Now maybe next time when it happens, you'll recognize that it's funny in the moment and that'll help you in some way.
Yeah, hopefully.
No, that was definitely like, Chris, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Don't let the.
Small thing bother you, guys, It's not worth it.
Beautiful.
Yeah, have a good night, Geck did you.
Call on Chris every night? But just just to really, just to clarify, just to just to clarify, I've probably I bought a book on Stoic philosophy, and I probably read twenty five pages of it. And that's about how much I've read. Just because I's it's really important to me that I don't create a false narrative of who I am that involves me being a guy who reads a lot of books. I've probably read four books over the course of my entire existence. I just want to
clear that up. Hello. Hello, is this Landon?
Yes? It is.
What's going on with you? Landon?
I am currently in my house playing Halo.
You are currently in your house playing Halo, Yes.
The useless studio game, And I want to talk to you about how I well, I don't think it's a fact that around five billion years the Sun is going to blow up and the Earth is absolutely in the radius, and the Earth will be unhabitable and the humanity, if it's still on Earth, will be dead by then.
Yeah, Yeah, it says here that you have a fear that the sun will eventually blow up the earth long after you're dead. Yeah, okay, so why why does that scare you? The sun blowing up the earth?
Whoa, you know, it's been around for a while, but not for that long compared to the life of the Earth. We're fucking useless. But all the progress we've made as a species, all we've developed, we'll kind of always be taken away from us.
And I don't know, it doesn't really leave a nice taste in my mouth. I know it's inevitable, but maybe we'd be far off into the stars by then, or.
Maybe what would be extinct, and that'd be okay with either way, because it would never really affect my personal life because I've probably only lived to like nine year eighty or something.
But it's just fugere thought.
Yeah, yeah, I find it and I always find it interesting. And you know, someone like yourself, you know that you're going to be long dead after this happens, but it's still is affecting you emotionally. Yeah, how much of a thing is this for you? Is this something you think about very often? Oh?
You live every day and sometimes it's a nice thing, like life is kind of pointless, so I should have sue. It makes me happy, but sometimes it's kind of a sad thing. It just kind of shows how time will won't last forever. And I have pretty big plans for my life and I feel confident enough to achieve them, like I want to make music express my heart and all that, but sometimes I think won't really be worth anything, because, for example, wundesses are a progress as humanity interesting.
So you kind of touched on this about how there's many, many different ways to look at this fact that the sun will explode and all of humanity will be destroyed, which is as you said, Oh, since that's gonna happen, I should just take advantage of it and do whatever I want and be happy. Or you can look at it from a depressing Oh nothing is matters, Why do anything. That's the two choices. Nothing matters, Let's go do everything.
Nothing matters, Let's do nothing. And at a certain point you know that this is an objective fact, but how you respond it's an objective fact that you can't control, but you can respond. You can control how you respond
to it, which you kind of touched on already. So do you find yourself being pulled in either direction depending on the day, Like some days you wake up and your nihilism is like, well, shit, nothing matters, let's go make a crazy song, let's go talk to a stranger at the park, you know, or or do you go nothing matters, I'm just gonna fall asleep and not even exert effort towards anything. Do you do you find yourself being torn by those two thought processes?
Oh yeah, all the time. I'm very on and off.
Yeah. Yeah.
Sometimes I think maybe it's like the intelligent thing to just not really care and not give up this kind of become epithet because what I think that's just say never, baila, is maybe it's smart to accept it and maybe a gain this confidence of oh I can do whatever I want. I'll give me some false hope or something.
Hm. So you have a fear that if you feed the side of yourself that is optimistic about these these nihilistic facts, that you're just giving yourself false hope.
Yeah, because you know, I have pretty, like I said, big goals, but I think it's okay to get myself grounded. You know, I can go a little extreme with the grounding and.
Be like, what's the point, Let's get into these goals. With these goals.
From a young age, I've always been very like, I'm a talented with visual things. I'm a bit of an artist, but I also want to express like feelings and emotion and concepts through music and kind of mix the two together, like make music with backs to worry for a music video it's quite arts, or mixed to movies or something, and just really express myself and try to get across
these weird feelings. I sometimes I'm afraid that nobody else, whoever, experience like you know, I'll be like listening to this piece of music and I'll be like, huh does them I always feel the way I do right now when I listen to this, because it makes you feel like very warm and nosthology if we're happy or sad or romantic or whatever, you know, and it's like there's all
this stuff, and it's like, what's the point. Maybe it's okay just to keep all to myself and I have my own self satisfaction, or maybe others do you want to experience my thoughts? And you know, soaking art or.
Whoever, well that is kind of and let's let's get douchey in here. That is kind of what an artist is is you're taking your perspective on a thing and you're sharing it with others confidently in the form of a painting, a song, lyric, a poem, a fart, whatever it is. And I think that that's a worthwhile pursuit in the face of, oh, all of technology, check what the fuck am I talking about, In the face of all of humanity is going to be destroyed by the
sun one day. The optimistic thing would be to go, hey, all these things that I'm doing, I'll just do them for the sake of them them itself. I'm doing it for the sake of it, not to leave a lasting legacy, not to get people to think that I'm a genius, but just for the sake of doing the thing.
In the moment, I see ye, and I think you know that.
I think you already you already know this. It sounds like you've thought about all this shit already. But the the the the when you're fighting between the pessimistic and the optimistic viewpoint on these uh, you know this whole o the sun is going to explode, Nothing will matter it's it all depends on which wolf you feed, you know, like, which of these two are you going to feed into?
And I think if you really are smart, you would feed the optimistic one because maybe is always going to lead to more than a no. The no is is nothing. There's nothing there, and you could go, oh, I'm super smart, so I'm just gonna not care about anything. But if you're really smart, you'll pick the maybe because that has the more potential for things to happen. So so if I were you and I was was battling between these two perspectives, I would feed the one with the most potential,
and that's the one that's okay, nothing matters. Let me go write a fucking song about bears.
Yeah, I see. And in the past of how this plan where I use my creativity. So I'm into a lot more darker kind of alt music, other Big Face, Tiffy all that stuff. But I'm really into like eighties goth and usually as like a darker tone. So I want to use my creativity and take advantage of that and be happy make music, but sing about these like darker, more pessimistic topics to kind of give some food you thought, you know, and you know, I'm pretty content with that idea.
I don't really know if I should, but you're telling me I should, So I'm only take that to you'all.
Heart.
What's your name again? Landon? Yeah? You know what, man, I I like thinking about this kind of stuff because it is true, and it's interesting to me because I'm I'm I think I'm self centered in the sense that I truly could give a fuck about what happens, you know,
to the universe. Uh, you know, there's all this talk about here's what I'm gonna get, you know, flamed, but there's let's talk about class and this is being I'm half kidding, but it's funny to me, Like, I know, if society falls and the sun explodes and the Earth explodes, it's like, we had I've said this so many times, but we had a good run. You know, we did stuff with There were people. Some of the people had good lives, The people felt things, the people loved people,
the people made things. They eight things. We tried, we failed, and now the you know, earth is going to explode. What what?
What?
What? What do we need more time to do? We did it. We had a good run. Let's accept it. And all die and let whatever alien creature dog thing comes next do its thing. You know, why do we need to be saved?
Yeah? I think about Well, there's this term caused like the great filter, which is like any species, there's on't hns great filture that kills it. I kind of have a theory because we're pretty advanced creature. It's very emotionally complex, and there's all these problems that come from our netives emotions like war from hate and all that, or and we have a lot of love and joy too, and beauty by the time that the sun blows up. This
is really stupid. Probably what happened. Like the scientists. I've
actually considered writing story about this. The scientists make this like time capsule that saves all of our history and stuff before we die, right, and it's I don't fucking know, it's some system that's protected from the sun and billions and billions and trillions of years there if like a new species evolves or aliens come or you know, this new species evolves and it's a television enough to understand and kind to see these signs and all of that.
They can learn from our mistakes and maybe gain from our knowledge and all of.
That, and then one day they'll die, you know, because they'll give it. They'll probably live longer than we did. They'll give it a good shot, and then eventually they'll fuck up and die, and then maybe they'll leave a time capsule, and then the super advanced h flamingo people will pick up on theirs, and then we'll just keep going until we have giant spiders who are like masters
of science and technology. Yeah, hey, Landed, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
You're a pretty cool guy. Got cool. I spend all my time. I think you're a podcast and all, and this is my first time calling you. I feel like he was a kind of decent call. And keep on doing what you do people. He's a cool get cool guy, and.
So I feel like this was a kind of decent call to Landon and I appreciate you making it. Hey there, Hey, Hi, what's your name?
My name is Bois?
Uh fucking say that again?
Bois?
Can I call you bo?
Yeah?
Yeah, you know what called me?
Jim Bow?
Is that a Is that like a like a username of some kind?
No, No, it's just a made up name.
I got a nickname.
I got I go buy manys.
Okay, I don't feel bad calling you by a different version of your made up name. Okay, Bo, Yeah, what's up?
Bo?
What did you want to talk about today?
Uh? Well, you know, I'm kind of like stuck right now. I'm stuck in a job that I know I do a lot of good work, but it just feels like a lot of the people that are there really don't give a ship. But it's for a good cause, you know, and I just for my livelihood sake. I don't want to name any particular names, right, but it's it's it's for a good cause. Though. You know, we work with high end kids, you know, DCFS kids, kids that go through a lot of issues, and we provide them a
safe space. But I don't know if you know, but I mean, you know, the nation is is we're in a tough spot as far as like providing services and trying to maintain those services. And the first thing cut is mental health.
Right. So okay, Yeah, So.
I've been at this place for a pretty long time and I don't want to name how long, but I'm coming up on a pretty interesting a year because this is a pretty big mark here as far as how long I've been there. But I just don't feel like there's any room for me to grow, you know. And it's it's challenging, and I've asked and I just don't know what else to do. I know, if I do something else, it won't be as fulfilling, but I'll probably
make more money. That's that's the conundrum I'm in. I I kind of want like a purpose.
Well, I'm just a wise man. Did once say fuck them kids?
Yeah?
And sometimes in life you do have to get up and say fuck them kids. I got to go do something else. No offense to the kids. I'm sure they're great kids, but you've been there for so long that you have lost count and now it seems as though you've given them all you have.
Yeah, I feel depleted. It's every day is mundane, the same thing over and over again, but wearing many hats type of thing.
You know, So so give me this. What what what's if you were to to, you know, say sayonara to the children, what would you want to then go do?
Yeah? That's the thing. I don't know. Man. I've been trying to reach out to all my contacts and just trying to get a feel of what's out there. I don't know. I mean, I have many different interests. I like working with my hands. I like being outside. I like working in the garden. I like I like producing things like I like networking. I like talking with people. I like creating bridges. I like helping other people.
You know, well, I mean you just named like fifty different things which could all fifty. Well it's a good thing, right because you named five zero different things, and now all of those things can bridge off into lots of other career paths. And so one thing I talk about on this show all the time that I think about a lot is like the underlying desire as to why
you do whatever it is you do. And if the underlying desires to as to why you work with these kids can be fulfilled in a way that you know doesn't make you want to kill yourself, then you should explore that that option.
Okay, okay, you see I I've.
Been thinking about this with with myself too. I've gone through a few uh changes in scenery in my own life. And once you lose, once you lose the you're done. Sure. I mean, I used to run a fucking My whole thing was I ran a comedy club at my basement, and then that got shut down because the landlord saw on Instagram ad that I was running and was like, is that my fucking house?
They got salty, yeah, and then I and.
Then I don't know, I I and that was like my everything you and I couldn't do it anymore. And I had to figure out what I liked in doing that. You know, maybe I liked bringing folks together, maybe I liked community. I don't know, just the underlying principles as to why I liked that, and then go try to take those underlying principles and apply them to something else,
you know. And so I think if you can do it, I think when you become tunnel visions onto any specific thing, you kind of fuck yourself a little bit, right you come to you you attach yourself to a company, a job, a person of this that as opposed to attaching yourself to like underlying principles, underlying desires. And I've realized, I've kind of realized, but mine are, which is that I
just want to be doing something. I literally have it boiled down to I just want to be doing something interesting. It's all I care about I think. I mean, I probably care about a lot more than that, and I probably have a lot more underlying desires, but that's one that I always go back to. I just want to
be doing something interesting. And if that's, yeah, you know, throwing basement shows things, or being a gecko and talking to strangers, or you know, growing corn in Iran, then you know whatever, I just as long as it's something. So I've I've regaled myself to that. By the way, I'm horrible at taking I want you to know something. I want everyone listen. I'm horrible at taking the advice that I just gave you. I'm horrible at taking the advice I just gave you because it's hard because you
get attached to your thing. You'd think I'm not fucking attached to being a gecko and talking about I couldn't give this up easily. I'd like to think I could, because of all the things that I'm talking to you about. I'd like to be better at following my own advice. I understand why you have the attachment to your current position. I mean, there's a lot in it, and to totally change up your life is not an easy thing. But these are these are things that I think about.
Yeah, I mean it's a there's a lot of weight to it, and I can relate. I think with you, you have a following. I don't know how many millions of people are following you. I'm sure you have a really huge following. Okay, you know you have you have that that passion and that interest, and it's very cool.
It's cool to watch.
And I I think I randomly found you on I don't know on YouTube.
Where you tell me where you found me from? Why do you think? What do you think me having a following has to do with this?
I can't can you repeat that? Hold on something that's happening here?
M What do you think me having a follow up has to do with that?
I think it.
I think it pushes you.
If I think it pushes you to keep going, and you have so many you have so many irons in the pot, I think it's really pushing you.
Yes, I agree. I think it's a terrible thing to be pushing me. I think it's a bad thing to push me. I should I mean, look you have I mean, look you have your job. I'm sure you're pushed by uh money, I'm sure you're pushed by uh, expectations of the people at your job who've employed you. I'm sure you're pushed by uh, these kids and A and a desire to avoid any guilt you might have of leaving them behind. And so I don't know is A is other people's expectations, which is what A following is?
Money and.
Guilt.
I think it's my old expectations I put on myself too.
Sure, but are those Are those all good things to be your driving force as to why you wake up in the morning, Yeah, it's probably not. Probably not. I think you and I are discovering this together.
Yeah, but it feels like it's an assistency and task, you know, no matter what I do, how hard I try to recruit to get people to work at this high end place.
See, now you're kind of learning a little bit more about me. I really didn't want to share all that, but it's never enough, and it's.
Never going to be enough.
But you know, I have many other interests besides just this. There's much more to me, and I maybe I need to start exploring some of that stuff too, because in some ways I feel like I've kind of lost myself in a way. You know, by not doing the other things that make me happy outside of work.
Yeah. Yeah, what's your fake name again?
Huh?
Bo Bo?
Listen. I want you to know if you do. And I'm not going to tell you what to do because I've resigned to not bring that, even though I kind of totally did. When you're walking out of there and a little kid with like dirt on his face or whatever, someone like an Oliver Twist kind of looking, is what I'm imagining, is like holding holding you is holding you by the leg and going, mister bow, please don't go. I need you, mister bo, please don't go. Don't don't
listen to him. You should go right right?
Yeah, And I hear that, and and I appreciate your time. And I was actually trying to call in here. I don't know how many times. But my name on your list is uh a rang a tang. So if you see me, I'm I'm I'm on this somewhere.
What list?
Uh the the chat list?
Oh okay, all right. The sentence my name on your list is a rangutang meant very little to me without any context I had.
Yeah, I'm sorry, I do that sometimes, I guess.
Yeah, but thank you.
Thank you for your time, and I wanna I'm gonna stick around here. I want to see what else other people can what they got going on. I want to hear how they go.
So thank you very much. Bo. I appreciate you. Man. You take care you too.
All from Bianca.
Hello, Hi, Oh my goodness.
What's up? How's life? Life is good? Why is it good? I don't know.
Honestly, I think it's because you answered my call.
That is a terrible reason for your life to be good. I'm gonna be one hundred percent honest with you, and it's a terrible reason for your life to be good.
Okay, well do you but.
You understand why I'm saying that, right?
Oh?
Well, yeah, I guess.
Me answering because when when I think, when you're thinking about the pillars of what makes your life enjoyable to live, if one of them is the fact that you're on the phone with me right now, that's a bad pillar because I don't know when, but eventually, eventually we won't be on the phone together.
Well I know, but you know, hard to get like on your stream and like connect to you.
Yeah, I'm sorry for being a dick, but I know whatever That's what I felt at that moment. Bianca, what is is there any what did you want to talk about today? Well?
I had a few things on my mind, but I think the main thing is like my friends, like they're like, okay, I love them possessed, don't get me wrong, but like I feel like my friend I'm not going to name any names because what if they're watching, but my one friend, she is like controlling of her boyfriend, and I'm always in the middle of it, Like, no matter what it is, they're always like like, oh, like can you like I
need your advice no matter who it's from. And I'm so sick of like getting in the middle of it because I love them both so much. It's just like I don't want to talk like shit about them to each other, but I kind of do it without knowing.
How old are you, Bianca, I'm twenty four, okay, And you were friends with these people before they started dating?
Yeah, actually I was friends with the guy first.
You're friends with the guy first. Here's what I'm cured. Maybe you can help me out with this because I'm very curious about, like, uh, what it like when I want to see my friends, I have to really go out of my way to do it. The way that you're describing this situation, it sounds like you're in you have some kind of lifestyle where you're like just recurringly naturally seeing these people. Is that true?
I guess I don't know. I mean, like, I don't know, because it's hard.
At twenty four, I asked how old you are because I thought maybe you were like in high school or something, because it's, oh my.
God, do I give off that vibe? I'm sorry, I.
Mean a little bit, but also just because of again, like the way that you're describing the friendships, it seems like, are you where do you Where do you hang out with these people? What's the situation?
Well, I've been from something for a while. I mean, like when we go to the bars and stuff, but like we also like like all work out together. We're just like I don't know, like we're besties.
I don't know, okay, Like like.
We go on like double days and stuff because my boyfriends friends with like the guy, but like we're all friends.
I don't know, all right, So your central conundrum is that you're friends with both of these people, but you think that the girl is controlling the guy.
Yes, and like I don't like and I get in the middle of everything. They pull me into everything, like no matter what I say, it's like, no, you're wrong, And I'm like, okay, then why did you like have some my chinions?
Well? Have you talked to them about hey, part of any of your bullshit? What do they tell you?
Yeah? They're always like okay, And then like two minutes later, my girlfriend she's like, anyway, I don't like girl, like you literally told me, Like I I literally told you, like I don't want to be a part of it. But like I think it's because like they look at me as like the therapy gecko I feel and I'm like, I don't get paid for this, you know what I mean? I feel like day should come on this.
I don't know, well it is, I'm I'm happy to talk to you. I don't typically I don't enjoy I don't like talking to people about other people's problems. Although these people are they seem to they yes, it seems to these other people's problem. These other people have made their problems your problems. But I don't know. I mean, I'm thinking about this right now. Let me ask you this first, does hanging out with these people. You seemed
like you hang out with them a lot. Does hang out with these people make your life better?
I mean yes and no. But like they literally broke up on the day we were supposed to go to like this concert, and I was like, what the hell, Like that's not cool, and then like they were like, no, we're still gonna go, like we're gonna pretend we're dating. And I'm like, that's weird. And then I was the
only person who knew that. And then we went with like like four other people and they were like, yeah, I don't say anything, And I felt so weird, like like I was the only person who needs information.
What you know?
You know what, let's put a pin in this. What what's what's your name again?
Bianca?
What's your life?
Like?
Bianca? What do you do you work? Do you?
Yeah, I'm a I'm a medical system other dermortality office.
Oh cool? Cool? Yeah? Okay? Are you like, are you happy in outside of this situation? Are you happy in other aspects of your life?
Like?
What do you mean outside of the situation where you are fighting with your friends? Are you happy in the other aspects of your life?
Well?
I guess so, but like it's like a bummer because like when all my friends like want to hang out and stuff, it's always like they're like it's always like they're like kind of the root of like the issues. And like I tried it because I'm a very positive person, like I want everyone to have a good time. I like don't disinclude anybody. But like when that stuff goes on, like it's just like so annoying, and it's like I feel like I'm almost like like a therapist, Like I
literally have to talk to them all the time. It's just kind of like I'm like, gods, like what the hell, Like why they only talk to me about it?
Only me?
It's like I don't know what to do. Like I feel like if I say something wrong and they break up, and it's like but they get back together, you know, Like I don't know what to do anymore.
You know what I've actually I've been uh lately, I've been anti advice, but I have I have thoughts cooking in my brain that I'm I'm I'm kind of I kind of want to fire off a few of them at you. If you're open to that, if you're open to this experimental thing, I'm gonna do right now. Uh okay here. I think if I were you, I would be like, hey, guys, I don't want to be in
the middle of your bullshit anymore. And if you continue to put me in the middle of your bullshit, I'm just not going to hang out with you guys anymore. But then give me, give give me what's But.
Then what I don't know because like if I say, like I'm not gonna hang out with you guys, Everyone's gonna be like what the hell, Like why aren't you hanging out with them? And then I would say, like my reasoning, and they're like like I like, don't worry, Like I don't know, Like I feel like just like walking on eggshells with them, like especially with like everybody else.
You know for so long.
Yeah, do you say you say you're a very happy, positive person.
Right, I would say so yeah?
Do you would you consider your friends to be happy positive people?
I hope so?
Yeah?
I want them today.
But do you think they are.
Like in their own lives? Yes, but I personally I don't think they should be together. But like that's one of my business, but like when they're making it my business, I don't know, here's you know, I.
Guess why I always struggle navigating these these relationship things. And I'm not talking about this romantic ones, but friendships is like, this is so much is out of your control because you can't control these two people. You can sit here and be like they shouldn't be together, But
what the fuck does that thought matter? You know? And what I what I I'm The reason I'm saying to you I would tell them I'm not going to hang out with them anymore is because you're a happy, positive person and you're you know, you're twenty four, You're you know, you're you have the ability as an adult to venture out into the universe and try your back. And it's hard, and it's hard. It's hard. I'm trying to do I'm
trying to make friends. If any want to be my fucking friend, it's it's hard to make new friends who you feel like align with your values with the people you've been hanging out with forever. I understand why it's not the thing you want to do, but I think you should give it a try, because if you're hanging out with these people and they're just constantly draining your energy and you've tried to talk to them about it,
and you've exhausted every resource within your control. The only leverage you really have in these relationships is to limit your time and you know, expose yourself to two more people out there who you know you might find happier relationships and and uh memories.
And shit with right, Yeah, I like I understand where you're coming from. And the thing is like me and my boyfriend, like we like we're very happy, Like I feel like nothing is really like happens to us like that. We're like she's very controlling, like dresses him like it's like bad, like and she's a couple of years older than us. So it's like, see, even the fact.
Even the fact that like this girls, even the fact that this, this these two people's relationship is occupying so much space in your brain is like bothersomething I understand.
It's not like it's not like that deep when I think about it, like from an outside point of view, like I live my life day to day and I'm fine. It's just like there's times where like ill invenience like my social life when we go out and stuff. That's why like I want to talk about it, Like I know these comments are crazy though, they're like you're controlling them, like like, don't get worried about are you reading.
Are you reading the chat? Don't don't read the chat. Don't read the chat.
I'm sorry.
Some of them are so funny, like I'm giggling, but I don't know. I like there, I don't think what people are staying, like these are my two like best friends, like me and my boyfriend, Like these are our friends, and my boyfriend was friends is like the guy in the relationship, like like way longer than like both of us. So I'm just trying to, like people please, I guess, and like I understand, like you can't please everybody, but I'm just trying. I'm just trying to like make everything work.
I get it. I get it. I get it. I get why. I get why you want to because the dream for you is that you get to just have fucking hang out with your friends and it's a good time all the time. Yeah, concerts and eat food, and that's a beautiful it's a worthwhile goal. It's a beautiful human experience. And the tragedy of life is that a lot of the times, whether or not that works out, is just not in your control, and you can try to make it in your control or you can just
accept that it's not. And and you know, look at what is in your control. And I don't know. I don't know your whole life, so I don't know what options you have or what your tolerance is for drama and things. But I'm just looking at I'm just I'm just looking at this, like how do you move forward to maximize your happiness? And I don't know. I don't know ship on a gecko.
I know, I mean, I was bored. I can't believe you answer, but it's be honest.
Anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Okay, A lot of them are saying I sound like.
If you're you're not allowed to read the chat at all? Nobody who only I am allowed to read. Sorry, I don't know why.
I am well up in front of me and that's how I I'm sorry to yell. You know, but I don't know. I don't know. I love your stream. It's so fun. TikTok make me giggle. And thank you you're the.
Bad thank you. I really appreciate that. I hope you I hope you live in the in the friendship utopia that you desire, and I believe one day you go.
Thank God. One can only hope.
Have a good night, Bianca, you too, Bob.
Never beg goes.
On the line, taking your phone calls every night.
Never goes too on his side, he's teaching you
Loud in the middle of your life, but he's not really an expert.