"I HATE MY NAME"

Hey, folks, it's Lyle get this.

I'm coming to over forty cities across the United States, the UK, Europe and Australia to do this here Therapy Gecko Podcast Live. These shows will involve bringing folks from the audience up on stage to talk to a gecko about whatever they want, just like we do on the podcast. The shows are completely unplanned, completely unpredictable, and they will be a lot of fun. So if you're a fan

I hope to see you there. All right, let's get into the episode. Hello, how are you while? Uh no, it was this, I ask Will Smith. It says here, it says here that your name is Will Smith. It says here that is your legal name, and it says that you feel like you're becoming a caricature of yourself.

Yes, I really do feel like I am.

Okay, tell me about that.

It's so my whole life. Like I didn't start out as Will Smith. Like my family kind of raised me his Billity. That's what I'm still called at home. And then like sometime in like first second grade, one of my teachers going to call me Will Smith, and it kind of just stuck. My whole life. I've been Will Smith just like because it's funny. You know, I have the same name as the actor. And as my life has progressed, people have just like come to know me

Okay?

What am I allowed to curse?

I know it is not my podcast. M Why do you feel like you're a weird guy? No?

No, I've never had to take things too seriously or I've never felt the need to anyway. Yeah, I guess I'm just like my life in general, I just think it's more important to like have fun while doing the things that are important. So it kind of led to me just kind of having this weird philosophy of getting things done however I need to no matter how strange it may seem. And you know, I like just say

So tell me more about like why why this? I mean, why does this seem like a negative thing for you?

It's become like an especially negative thing in like the last few years because it's just like it's just like it sounds really stupid. It's really annoying when people come up to you and ask about the slap eight times a day that happened at the Oscars.

Yeah, sort of, Uh that as soon as that happened and will Smith started trending, you must have been shaken in your boats, Like, fuck, this is gonna be everything everyone says to me for the next five years.

Yes, and it has continued to be. It was the it was the weirdest thing because, like, you know, the day, the two days following that stupid thing, like every person I've ever known has like texted me about that because they thought it was Hi. And as time went on, random people that I haven't spoken to in years, you know, from high schools, like old friends, the text me like three months later and say so, how about that flat And it is just kind of persistent.

Yeah.

Yeah, And it's.

Just like a strange thing that I've endured, I guess, And it's uh, it's kind of weird dealing with this thing that has like become part of my identity even though I don't want it to be.

M hm hmm.

What would you like your identity to be? Uh?

Just Will, I guess. And I've like in the last few months, like coming back to school, you know, for like the new school year and stuff. Not that I ever like, I mean, I did introduce myself with Will Smith quite a bit back in the day, but like now I'm kind of just trying to be Will. But the name persists because all it takes is a professor reading my name on the thing on the agenda, I guess, to connect the dots, and that's what everyone knows me as already.

Mm hmmm mm hmm. Okay, what's your life like outside of being Will Smith?

Uh, it's honestly very good. I think that I live a very good life, and it's just like because I've tried my best to make it good. You know, lots of friends and you know, good environment. Nick, who you just spoke to, one of my best friends here at school. Ah, it's funny. We're not We're like on other ends of campus right now, mhm. But everywhere I go it's always been Will Smith, Will Smith, Will Smith, and.

It's always like like, no, I want to let you finish real quick.

It's it's like a lot of people seem to don't actually care what I'm like. They just think it's funny that I'm Will Smith, and that is really like started to affect me in the last year or two.

Mm hmm.

What do you wish people know about you?

I don't know.

Like I just think that, like, like the things I do on a daily basis don't need to be sort of put under this category of being a character because I have a funny name, you know, if that makes any sense at all.

So you're you're starting to feel like a one dimensional being and not like an actual person.

Yes, Like I guess, I guess like this is a pretty good instance of it. Like I'll go over to my little friend's door him and then like all of her roommates will start like yelling Will Smith. And if they have people over, they go, oh my god, that's Will Smith. And they don't really care who I am. They just care about the name.

M What do you wish people saw within you?

I don't know. Just Will be the person that wants to talk to everybody, have a conversation with everybody, gets to know somebody. I think it's important. It's just like on a daily basis, just be that person that will go up to somebody and start a conversation. Just be there for somebody. And I am. I feel like I am that to a lot of people. But it has gotten to a point where a lot of people just don't care about my personal attributes.

I feel like.

You said, used to go by Billy, right, Yeah, but.

I haven't in probably fifteen years.

Would you consider changing your name.

To Billy anything.

Or just in general?

Yeah, so I wouldn't start going by Billy again just because my friend group back home, you know, my best friends, we already have a Billy in the group. But uh, I was actually thinking about once I graduate and head out on my own, to change my last name to my h name on my mother's side, Romeo, in honor of like my grandfather, because he was one of the most important people in my life.

Will Romeo, what do you.

Think of that?

I like that.

I think it's fun, it's good of my string to it, but like genuinely more important to me. It's just like keeping that name going. I'm the only boy in my family. I have three older sisters and the only other Romeos that a guy are, you know, fifteen hours away down south?

Do you identify more with Romeo than with Smith?

Uh?

I am. I very much associate with the name Smith because both sides of my family have stuck around back home. I have a very large family that I love very much, and they're all very supportive. So it's not like it's not like I'm changing my name just from the kind of like side with one side of the family. I do love the Smith's side of my family very much.

I have to ask you something. It says here that you were in the queue the other day but you had to hang up because there was an active shooter in your dorm.

No, okay, so there was a there was a email that went out our school was veried ineffective at relaying information to us. So we had heard like like people were just like texting rumblings about a threat in one of the complexes. I was not there. I was in the studio, which I am right now actually doing some artwork a monitor tonight. But these schools sent out an

So that was a funny way. I'm glad you're all right.

Yeah, the threat was apparently taking care of like immediately, but the school had no proper life precautions in place. I guess, like, well, apparently we had cops on campus with Bryant shields, and the only information we had was a very poorly worded femail address to each student about a police investigation. So it was almost appearing as if we were under investigation.

You know what, you know, you know what would have made you a legend? What is if there was an active shooter and you went up to him and slapped him.

That's actually pretty funny.

Let's see, Will any final thoughts, feelings, sentiments on your name being Will Smith that that you that you want to share with us.

Most of my life it was, it was a strange blessing. And then just as I've gotten older, it's just not the person I want to be anymore. And I just think that like it's important as like I'm twenty, it's important as I kind of it's just twenty in my life, where like I'm getting ready to graduate and hopefully move out on my own. But I'm the person I want to be, and then I have the opportunity to start fresh if I need to. I think that everybody should have that.

Well, Well, thank you very much for calling and sharing, and I hope you enjoy your new life, as will Romeo.

Thank you, mister Ghek.

Take care man, have a good night.

Take care. Hello. Hello, Hi, who is this?

This is Robert Johnson.

Hi, Robert Johnson. What's going on with you?

Well, so I have a bit of a revenge story to tell, and I'm not too sure if I should feel guilty about what I gave it if I took it too far. Not okay, it's nothing like Super Dark or anything. I didn't. I didn't do anything too crazy. Well, I guess chat will decide that.

Well, no, but well, you know that's up. You know, only God can judge. I think I don't know what's up? What did you do?

Tell us?

Tell us what happens.

Well, so a bit of a backstory and I'll try not to make it too depressing or anything, you know. During during lockdown in twenty twenty, I got myself a German Shepherd puppy to help with the depression I was going through and everything. Yeah, and I wasn't aware that she had a tarvo. It's a it's a really aggressive, deadly disease towards dogs. We only got to have her for a couple of weeks before I had to unfortunately

But the dog does the dog? Is that have anything to do with this roommate situation?

Kind of? Sort of? It was just he was being a real dick, like he knew where I was. He he knew I was on edge because I just lost the I just spent a lot of money on the dog, and then I had about one thousand dollars worth of VET bills that I had to pay and I, you know, dog just died, and so he knew he knew all that was going on. I'm not too sure what, Oh, go ahead.

All right? So what I I guess I still don't understand what exactly you guys were fighting about he took stuff from your room and you confronted.

Him about it. So he when I was gone that night, he went into my room and he took he took one of my Xbox controllers and one of my chairs, and I just went up to and I was like, hey, man, like, don't go into my room. You know, I was. I was much more angry than what I'm letting on right now. Again, I was on I was on edge, and so confronted him and I pushed him, and he was like, I'm calling the police on you. And so that's uh, it was me and him getting into a bit of a

Okay, how did he respond? Because I he eventually how does he know?

Ol on?

Okay, did you just do this?

No? This was this was in two thousand and twenty, this was this is quite this was like three years you know, this was?

So how does he not know? Wouldn't he if you spread come on everything he owns? How would he not realize it?

Well, I presume he wouldn't just go around sniffing his nice checking for a cumbsmell. I mean, I know, I certainly don't go around my apartment making sure people aren't coming on things. I guess I never really thought about that.

Okay, so you came in the event of his xbox? You came? Did you come on his clothes?

Like?

What all? Did you come on?

I didn't go into his room, but we had a laundry unit in the hallway, and I just got anything that was in there. I just kind of drizzled it over like it was chocolate syrup over ice cream. Again, I collected over the course of two days. Like I put it into this little bowl, but I just kind of let sit there. And I know that sounds that's absolutely discussing. It sounds horrible.

How much coum did you put it? Because it's it's hard to I mean, that's like a lot of.

Coun Well, so it wasn't all just come you got. I I was using the lube for the masturbader, so I would ring it out and collect the lube and come. So I was probably I think I jerked off probably three or four times over each day over the course of the two days, to make sure I had enough to do what I wanted.

Yeah, and you kind of diluted a little bit of the come with the loop to make it like a loob.

Yeah, I'm not a horse. I'm not I'm not pumping out gallons at a time. I'm I'm no Johnny Sin that's for sure.

Okay, So he really didn't notice at all.

Well, so I had. As soon as I did that, I moved out like the next morning, and I just haven't had contacts with him. So if he maybe he does know, maybe not. I haven't seen the guy for almost two and a half years.

Well, so let me can I ask you this then? Yeah, because here's the thing. If your intention in smearing come over everything that this guy owns is to see the look on his face when he realizes it, then what was the point If he never found out, And if he did find out, then that's probably to further antagonize you.

It's like a guilty pleasure knowing I'm the only one that knows that I did it, you know, because if I were to tell him I did that, I don't know if there's legal repercussions connected to that. There might be, there might not. And I again, I was trying to make sure that I, you know, I'm not going to get you know, taken to court for you know, doing anything crazy like that.

And so you don't know whether or not they're legal repercussions for jizzing on somebody's stuff.

I mean, I mean, if is there is there laws against that? Is there any laws that prevent me from doing that?

Probably?

Well that's news to me.

I mean all right, if so, listen, listen, listen back to your central question. Am I am I the asshole for spreading cum?

Yeah's? Am I a piece of shit? For what? I did.

All right, let me ask you a question in your heart ultimately, do you believe you're twenty two years old? Okay, you're somewhat of an adult. Okay, I like, Okay, you're an intelligent enough guy. I can tell in your heart of hearts, Robert, do you really believe that's the best way to handle conflict is to jiz on the other person's stuff.

I'm gonna go with a negative stark man, I'm gonna say that is a probably not the way you want to handle things.

It's probably not the way you want to handle things. Now, is there in your mind? If you could go back turn the clocks, how would you have handled that situation differently?

I would hm, Oh, that's uh. You know, I'm really not too sure because a lot of a lot has happened then, and I know for a matter of fact, I wasn't in the state of mind. But if I wouldn't if I was, if I had the state of mind I have today, I probably feel a lot more guilty about it, but I probably still do it. I'm not gonna lie. I feel a lot more guilt, but I would probably still do it.

Why would you still do it? I mean look, it's three years ago, right, Like what why?

Why?

Why does why does the anger continue to bubble within you and you know, spurred out.

Of you because, oh god, you call me off guard with that one. You know, it really comes down just to the fact that, you know, I thought I was gonna die.

That's it.

That was a you know, four police officers pointing guns at you while you're crying, like the whole I was on the phone with the UH with the operator. I was calling him. I was like, hey, well, I am not a crazy person. I do not have a firearm. You know, I take that. I don't think that's not something. I don't think anybody would take that lightly, you know. And sure maybe he was just trying to ensure that the police would come or whatever. But just the way he said he has a gun, he pointed at me,

He can I ask you a question, absolutely, did you pull out your penis and threatened to come on him and he interpreted that as a gun?

No, my, my, my penis is far too small to be interpreted as a firearm.

Okay, I just wanted to make sure, so listen. My my official stance on this is that I don't think that you coming on all this man's belongings is going to really do anything productive for the situation. I don't think any conflict resolution experts or real therapists would say otherwise. Because it makes you feel good, makes you feel good. Yeah, but I mean a that just sounds like it was a lot of work for nothing.

I was, I was, I was sor the second.

Day rough, So I look at the end of the day. Revenge, you know, it's a poison that attacks the person who does the jizzy as well as the person who is just gone. Do you agree with this?

I yeah, I agree everything you've said so far. The more you the more you talk, the more I look back and realize how bad it is. Yeah.

If I heard this story and I was a person that you were going to room with in the future, I would probably change my mind about rooming with you.

But would you say it wasn't well? Was it not justified to retaliate after something like that?

Though?

Retaliation it's an interesting thing. I don't know. I think about this a lot. Actually, I really do well, that's all a lot of wars start. I think it's retaliation. Like at the end of the day, I don't know it's This is an interesting philosophical question being posed by you talking about whether or not it was a good decision to come on your roommate's xbox. Retaliation is interesting because I don't know to what degree it is helpful

But would you say I hurt anyone doing these actions?

Well, you just told me that your penis was sore.

Well, besides me, I knew what I knew what the cost of what I was about to do. It was a small price.

To My official stance on this is going to be that I think you should find healthier coping mechanisms.

Yep, I agree. I think you're a wise man. I agree.

Okay, tell me what you're gonna do next time something like this happens.

Well, hopefully it never happens again. Fortunately I live with some pretty cool dudes, right now. But if something were like that's ever happened again, hopefully I'd be mature enough to just grow up and be like, all right, whatever, I got the shit end of the stick. You know, I guess it could be worse. I guess I would just try to look at it in a more positive light. I guess, you know, just not try to obviously. You know, if something like that happens, it's gonna suck. It's gonna

So anything you want to say to the people of the computer before we.

Go, hopefully you guys don't think them too much of a freak, you're too much of a bad person. I hope this was interesting. I hope you guys have a good night. I appreciate you giving me the time to talk to.

You you too, Robert tick care.

You have a good one.

Wow, that was almost a twenty minute call about jizzing on a roommate's xbox? Was Robert justified? Like what? Here's the thing? What has justification ever really done for anyone? Would he be justified in a court of law? Probably not? But also I don't know if there is a law that says that you can't jack off onto your roommate's xbox. But also they're almost certainly is. Let's take another phone call. Hello, Hello, how are you?

I'm good?

You know.

Kaylee? It says your name is.

Yes.

How can I get you this evening? Kaylee?

Oh my gosh. Well, I just kind of wanted to tell a story, I guess, get your thoughts on it or.

Yeah, what what what happens?

Well?

I am.

A few years back I found out that I had a biological sister on my mom's side, half sister, and we had been kind of talking for a few years a little bit, and then I finally spent a weekend with her for Halloween to do something and it was just kind of like a really weird, bad experience, And I don't really know what kind of relationship I want or should have with her anymore.

Okay, what made the experience so bad, Well, she when.

We were talking is when she like initially hit me up, she was very obviously like excited to meet me, calling me on PRINSIPI and that has stayed away like trying to get very close very quickly, which was like pretty you know. I was like into that a little bit. But then when I went there, she just like.

Didn't talk to me the whole time and was like on the phone with people, like calling people the whole time I was there, Like there was really not a word spoken between the two of us. And then also like she was kind of like I felt kind of like a show pony, like an accessory almost. She was showing me like off to everyone, like I was on like a tour of meeting every single person in her life.

And she kept doing.

This thing where she was introducing me as her sister and like she's just like me, but she's a stoner, which is like.

Weird.

I don't like being called that. I don't like people saying that about me to other people. I don't know, she's just a I didn't like that, and thing she just wasn't really present, so.

She was on the phone all the time. She was like showing you around as like she's like me, but she's a stoner, weird vibe all around, and you are here debating whether or not you should have a relationship with her not.

I mean, I don't really necessarily want to cut her off.

I just.

She's still like now that I'm not there, like she's still doing that thing, or she's just like texting me and being like wanting to see me and spend extended time with me, And I just like kind of want to let her know that I don't want to do that, but I don't really know how to say it. I guess like I want to do some of the time, I wanted to be like a plan. I guess I don't want to just like stay with her or do anything like that.

Yeah, this is hard. I don't have like the greatest solution of like how do you because I mean, yes, this person's your half sister, But to me, the familial aspect of this is is there relevant really? Because what does that really even dictates? Right? Absolutely?

I didn't know twenty years.

Yeah, I mean, by the way, even if she was your blood sister, what does that really dictate what is that? Well, yeah, I mean, yes, she's your bud sister, but well, I guess to say, I guess what I meant to say is even if she was in your life? Blah blah, Like what really does dictate whether or not we should have relationships with people?

Like?

I don't even like that word should, like good by, no please.

It's just weird for me because I was kind of raised as an only child that I've never had a sibling before, and pretty much everyone I know has like close relationships excuse me, relationships with their siblings. So I just feel like it's something I want, you know, but it just doesn't feel great when I'm doing it.

I think the idea that you're being compelled by an illusion of what having a sister might be like or your friends' experiences with their siblings is not compelling to me. And with the limited amount of time that you have to uh, you know, in a day, in a week, and a month and a year and a life, you should really only be spending it with people who you give you give a fuck about who you want to be spending time with, you know, Yeah.

I care a lot about people, know, So it's like even if it's not someone important to me. I just care about their feelings a lot, And you know what.

That's sweet of you. And I think to a point that's a good trait to have, and it becomes a bad trait to have. I think, you know, there's various opinions about this, but when it starts to like come at like a detriment to you, you know, like your time is limited, your time is valuable. You don't want to spend it with somebody who you don't fucking like being around.

Yeah, like a waste of time?

Yeah yeah, And it's hard. Yeah yeah, yeah, it's a whole weekend, and afterwards you do feel like it's I mean, I don't think this was a waste of time, this initial meeting, because you satisfied a curiosity you had, so I wouldn't call that a waste of time. M hm, that's true. But yeah, this is hard. I don't know how to like break how do you break up with a friend?

You break up with like.

It's weird because I didn't know her for twenty years, but she knew about me the entire time, and like would write these letters to me but not send them. But then like gave them all to me, like it was like she put a lot on me all at once, and then like I was there and it was like, why did she even invite me?

It was weird.

Listen, I no tell me what you're gonna say. No you first, I wouldn't blame you if you chose to just be a little bit less available. You don't necessarily, I don't to what, Listen, I don't. I don't know. I'm not an expert on this. To what degree you need to send some long paragraph of I felt like this, and I felt like that, and because of that, I don't want to hang out with you. I don't know. You know that's something you feel compelled to do it.

Like it wasn't like fun, that it wasn't like enjoyable at all. But I don't even know if it's supposed to be enjoyable to have a sibling hand spend time with them.

I think I think if you're taking time to go be with someone, I think it should be enjoyable.

Yeah, I think, yeah, But you're right.

I don't know if it's worth like a whole paragraph or anything. I don't I don't think.

I don't.

Yeah, I don't think you have to do a whole last paragraph. I think being less available and I think I'm trying myself. I'm trying myself lately to be more intentional about who I am, like spending time with and ship because you could, you could waste a lot of time, like you know, being with people you don't want to be around.

So true, just because I feel like I have to be around them.

Mm hmmm, mm hmm. But yeah, I guess. I guess the the sort of solution to this is to be a little bit less available and try not to beat yourself up for the I know that you're a part you. You are very intact with other people's feelings, and it's scary the idea that you're going to hurt them. But at a certain point you can't try to. You can try your best to cater to everyone, but you'll fall short if you try.

Yeah, why I disappoint myself?

That's so true, Kaylee's anything else you want to say to the people of the computer, or to me or to God before we go.

Oh my gosh, all those people. I want to shout out my friend Jade, she's the coolest and the best, and she asked me to do that and thank you so much. I love you. I was like just getting into bed and heard your voice and the best.

Have sweet dreams of of of being Oh that too, Yeah, thank you, thank you. Yeah, that's a tough thing. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to break up with a friends because, like the if you're playing it by the fucking books and you're you're you're one hundred percent in life, whatever it is, maybe you would be sending long paragraphs. But I don't I

Hello, Hello, Hi, Oh wow, I'm a little bit boozled right now.

You feel band boozled?

Man?

How do you in what way? Ben boozled?

Well, it's been about like an hour I've been waiting and I'm actually on Wow. I was almost to lose hope, but.

Well, bamboozled, bamboo, do you know what bamboozled means.

See, I wasn't even sure if I used that and the correct uh in the correct way.

You didn't. But that's okay unless if you, I mean bamboozled means tricked, do you feel tricked?

Yeah?

I totally didn't use that in the correct uh in the correct way.

But can I I want to say this. I want to say this the way that you used it few like sounds more appropriate, like bamboozled used it to mean like surprised.

Yeah.

Yeah, the nature of the word bamboozle sounds a little more like, uh, like a zany surprise wacky thing than like, you know, like like a trick or a scheme. Actually, know, it does sound a little it does. It does sound a little schemy. I'll give you that. I guess. I I'm not. I guess that's not giving you something. Are you fucking around now with the cups in your kitchen?

Oh?

No, that was actually my my daughter. She was playing with her toy microphone stand. And yeah, she's just chilling right now, watching her show, watching some doc mix stuff ins. And right now we're just kicking it, you know, we're vibing, enjoying our Sunday night.

So middie, how can I have bamboozle used today?

Okay, So lately I've been wanting to, I guess, become a little bit more socially active. I'm not really gonna say that I'm much of a homebody, but besides kind of like just going to work and I guess like going to the gym after after work once in a while. I really just, you know, stay home a lot.

I don't really.

Hang out a lot with friends or I'm not like seeing anybody at the moment. But I'm starting to feel like, you know, maybe I should try to kind of get out there a little bit more and you know, try to do what humans do and you know, socialize. And yeah, I was thinking maybe I could, uh, you know, perhaps get some insight from the get.

Okay, a little bit of advice. Well, I mean, you've got a lot going on. You have you have a daughter. Do you can ask are you is your is the the the mother? What's your relationship with her?

So we actually were engaged. We broke up about a year and two months, year and three months ago, and that's actually something that I'm not really one hundred percent over yet. So after the breakup, we were we remained really good friends for about a year and so basically what happened is, like, you know, one day she kind

Is her relationship with your daughter? How do you how do you guys manage your daughter together?

So me and her, we actually we're still on pretty like good terms. I guess, you know, when it comes to like communications, we we do everything like organically, we've managed to come up with a like schedule to where we kind of get her like fifty to fifty and like exchange weekends.

Okay, Okay, she's really she's really killing it with tour with that toy microphone.

Yeah. Sorry, you probably hear her in the background.

She sounds like, uh, she sounds like Boo from Monsters, Inc.

You know what. I feel like, she probably resembles her quite a bit.

Funny. I'm so okay, so this is interesting. So I mean, all right, you're divorce, so you got like half the time where you got to hunk her down and be a dad, but then another half the time where you're just kind of on your own and living a regular life. And now we're trying to figure out, okay, with that half the time that we're now with our kid, how can we make more of a life for ourselves.

Yeah. Yeah, Well, in the middle of me waiting, I was actually on Bumble's been trying to uh, you know, kind of mess around with that. I just started using that about a few days ago. And sorry, go.

Ahead, no, you go ahead. I I gotta learn that people.

So yeah, I mean that's been going Uh, I'm not gonna say it's been going good, but hasn't really been going bad because like I feel like, you know, with me like just starting to be coming this whole like dating scene thing. You know, I'm not really at the point where I can, you know, feel confident with like trying to appeal to somebody. And yeah, I guess like that's kind of another thing too, is like trying to you know, really increase my confidence.

Mm hmm.

But that's the way I just thinking about it. Sometimes it is helpful to interrupt people, but so many I want to know in the dating universe when you're on the bumbles, is it is it tough to find somebody who's cool with you having a kid?

To be honest, I haven't really found that out yet because it's been like such a short time that have been on here. And I mean usually, you know, most of the girls that I've talked to like don't really have a problem with it. I think part of it might have to do with the fact that my daughters like very adorable and in a way I feel like, you know, some girls might like gravitate towards that and think like, Okay, this guy can create like, you know,

M hmm.

Do you okay? So for for friendship, uh do you do you not have a lot of like just normal platonic friends.

I wouldn't say that I really have like any like ride or die kind of friends. I mean, I have like a lot of acquaintances. It's just that I feel like I'm very like awkward when it comes to like getting like close to somebody. I'm the type of person that will like hang out with their parents a lot, and like with my brothers and stuff, which I'm grateful to have them in my life, you know, so I guess the like could be worse. But yeah, outside of that, you know, I got like buddies that I'll uh talk

What do you do to try to make friends?

See, I'm right now, I'm at the point where I don't really know.

I'm kind of interd like.

I don't really no, I guess like I'll kind of give you an example of like why I feel like I have a hard time with developing relationships. Like I feel like a lot of what like making friends of the guy is is like when you almost like try and like talk shit with somebody, and it's like I feel like when somebody like tries to like talk shit in like a friendly kind of manner, like I get awkward because it's like I think, like and it's not even like the part of like there like like conflict

On, hold on, there's just there's so much stuff here. You feel as though you feel as though.

Sorry not make sense.

No no, no, no, no no no, it's I'm I'm I'm trying to understand. You feel as though talking ship is this like necessary part of the the male bonding experience.

A lot of.

From what I've experienced. I guess maybe it has to do with like a certain like crowd that I've kind of like always been around, because like, you know, a lot of the people that I kind of like work with, and the people that have like you know, became friends with each other, it's like, you know, they've gotten to a point in their friendship where like they can like talk shit to each other like comfortably, and it's like, you know, I'm okay with that too, but it's like

And it's like that can be that there can be a compelling thing for some people, but you don't, Okay, where are you meeting these people?

Well?

Uh, I guess like coworkers, And I mean that's pretty much like the only place where I've actually like socialize with people nowadays, I guess is like my work place.

Do you have Do you have hobbies at all?

Yeah?

Yeah, I'm really big into into making music, and I guess I'm pretty like involved in like the local music scene, uh somewhat.

Make fans.

Yeah, yeah, I think that's another aspect too that you know, I've been trying to kind of be a little bit more involved in is you know, like following my passion a little bit more with this whole music thing and you know, meeting other people in that community.

Mm hm.

So I'm gonna I'm gonna try and you know, focus on that a little bit more. But like I was saying earlier, you know, my schedule is just so so busy nowadays that I can kind of only do that, like I guess, once in a great while. But you know that time will come and that if it's like a slow process, you know, I'm always gonna keep doing it because I love doing music.

Mm hmmmm. I, Like I said, I feel like that's a perfect way to do it, whether it's uh, you know, putting on shows or going to shows. Uh. I mean, that's a great that's a great hobby. I know you said you're calling in for for advice on this, but it sounds like you're you're doing a lot of the things that you know, anyone you ask advice from would be would tell you to do. Anyway, you have this great hobby that that is conducive to a social environment.

Is Yeah, I mean I think a lot of it is, you know, kind of going deeper into like the whole me feeling like I might I may have like attachment issues, like you know, feeling like it's just kind of hard for me to like click to somebody in general, but that may be like, you know, more of something that I kind of, you know, would probably want to talk to a therapist about maybe one day.

Yeah, that's Do you have a therapist.

As of right now? No, I've been really procrastinating on trying to uh talk to one. But yeah, I mean, as of right now, I've just been like, you know, staying busy with you know, what I got going on, and as long as I can, uh, you know, keep up with this, uh with this routine that I got going on with, you know, going to the gym and working. And I'm actually going to be taking up a second job here pretty soon as well, so.

Well, we'll keep at it.

Mittie.

I'm sorry if I if, if if this call wasn't as h as helpful as you wanted it to be.

But oh no, not at all, man, Like I just I really appreciate you for like having me on here, and I watch your stream a lot. I work as delivery drivers, so I'm on the road a lot, so I get to listen to a lot of stuff. I'd say your podcasts and your YouTube videos and streams are probably like one of the main things that I listened to.

Yeah, it's cool to.

Be on here.

It's cool to have you man, and good luck man. Yeah, I'll say this. You seem like a good guy. You seem like you're trying to do right by your daughter and by yourself and by the world. And you know, I'm rooting for you and all that stuff. Man. I think I think, I think you're going to be able to define whatever it is you're looking for. And if you don't, I mean, you got a whole bunch of great stuff right in front of you, so you have that to lean into.

I appreciate it, man, Thank you, thank you. Can I say one more thing to the people listening.

Yeah?

Sure.

So one of the reasons why I wanted to kind of make more friends and so I could bring somebody with to go see Lyle uh do his thing live in Chicago. If anybody wants to go with man add me on Instagram. It's our d V Underscore Lobos.

L O b o Z.

It's sold out. They can't come.

Oh, it's sold out.

I might add a second show, but I don't. I don't know yet. But what about Milwaukee again.

If there's gonna be a Milwaukee one.

Yeah there, Yeah, yeah, I'm doing Milwaukee.

Oh okay, is that one sold out?

No?

I don't think so. I hope not. I don't know why.

Oh okay, I don't know.

I hope it is. Yeah, come come through Milwaukee. I'm doing the Collectivo or something like that. It looks like it's a cool venue. So listen, man, I hope to see you either one of those. Don't bring your daughter. Come when your ex hazard.

Okay, yeah, yeah for sure, yay, I'll talk to you soon.

Man.

All right, thanks, Hello, all right?

How good I mess?

Thank you.

So sweet? Yeah. I like that guy. He was a good guy. He seemed like neurotic for sure, which is a natural state for a human being to be in. But yeah, I mean he sounds like he's doing right by his daughter, he's doing right by himself. He's trying. That's what the show is, mat It's a bunch of people trying, myself included, just people fucking trying the best they can to do whatever it is they got to do. God bless them.

Get goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.

Everythig Cat goes doing his eight. He was teaching you to houses and you're like, but he's not really an expert.