Hello, Hi.
What's your name, Arianna? What's going on, Ariana? How's life?
You know it's lifing?
I feel that brother. Well, what do you want to talk about today?
Okay, Well, this happened like two and a half years ago, but basically, in the span of like one year, I got two abortions, I got kicked out of my house, and I got emancipated.
This this was when you were eighteen.
I was seventeen. Actually I had just hearned I had just turned steen when it all started.
How you well, I guess, uh. I mean, before we get into anything, how you doing now? Are you chilling?
Yeah? I'm actually great now. I'm in college. I've been living on my own since then. I'm still with my boyfriend who had all happened with.
So I mean, if you want to get into it, what happened?
Okay, So, okay, let me just preface this with some backstory. My dad is like not really in my life, and like my mom is like a really bad opioid addict and alcoholic, and so all of this happened like a
year after COVID happened. So it was like February twenty twenty one, and so me and My boyfriend had been together for it had almost been a year, and on his seventeenth birthday, I found out I was pregnant, and so I like internally knew what I was going to do, like I always knew if that ever happened to me, like what my decision was, and like luckily Rogie Wade wasn't overturned or anything, so I knew, like I had options,
and my boys then like fully supported me. He was like, if you want to have it, I'm down to do that. If you don't, I'm down to do that. So he was like very very supportive.
So you were sixteen and he was so So you were sixteen and he was seventeen.
I had just turned sixteen. I had just turned seventeen the week before, so like technically I was sixteen when if I got pregnant whenever that happened in like January December, and then I just turned seventeen when I found out.
Okay, And so your boyfriend was supportive and everyone and everything was all aligned.
Yeah, like me and him were good. I hadn't told my mom yet and it was and it's actually the craziest story how she found out I was on the phone with one of my friends, and she was at the place where we worked at and she had me on speakerphone, and someone else we worked with overheard it and they knew a friend of my family, so like it got around. Word kind of got around back to my mom and she ended up confronting me about it.
What did that confrontation look like?
Honestly, it wasn't that bad. It was you know, I heard this, Is it true? I was like yeah. She was like, well, like, do you know how far along you are? I was like maybe eight weeks or something like that, and she was like, well, do you know what you want to do? I was like, yeah, like I don't want to, like I don't want to have it, like I want to get the procedure done. And she was like okay, well, you know I fully support you
this and that. And then I'd like already done some research on it, and she was like, you know, I'll drive you to Texas or Mississippi it's necessary. You know, we'll do whatever we have to do. I was like, oh my god, thank you. Like my mom hadn't, like it's never really been like very supportive in my life, because she's always been kind of absent or like kind
of selfish with her decisions with drugs. So I was like cool, like yes, absolutely, like thank you, Like I'll start like calls on Monday, because it's like on a weekend. And then a week later she basically cornered me in my room whenever she was musing and she was drunk and it was like two am, and she was like, you're having this baby, no matter what you think. I'm
the adult. I like, I have to sign in order because in my state, at least at the time, you had to have one parent sign off on it, like you couldn't sign off if you were a minor. And since my dad's not really in my life, she knew that wasn't an option. So she was like, you're having it because I'm saying it, and I still to this day do not know what caused that change. So she.
So she went from she found out. She was totally supportive. She was like, I'll drive you to another state if I have to, And then she just comes into your room drunk at two am and switches up on you.
Yeah, it's it was a very common occurrence for her to like barge in my room at two am just for like random things or not. But it was like, it was absolutely crazy to me because like we hadn't talked about it since then, Like I was just like trying to figure out what would be the best route to go about it, so she didn't have to do any of the planning. And then all of a sudden, it was just you're having this baby. It's what I say, goes and that was it.
That's fucking wild.
Yeah. And so in my in my state, at least at the time, there was something called, oh I forgot the name, but it was something it was a like a bypass law, and it was if you went to court and a judge determined that you were mature enough to have like an abortion, they'll grant you from mission from the court to get an abortion if you're a minor.
Wait, so you go in front of a court and the court judges if you're mature enough to have an abortion?
Crazy? What? What?
What's the first of all? That's insane? Because what like that's insane because what are they gonna do? Be like, you know what, you're not mature enough to have an abortion? But I guess how can you be How can you not be mature enough to have an abortion but then be mature enough to have a baby.
That was that was my debacle. And I had to like get in contact with the it was like a pro bono agency or like online website. Well I'll just say my state. I'm from Louisiana and so online they have these like volunteer lawyers who will like represent you for free, talk you through the procedure, like how the
court stuff is going to go. And at the time, it was online court because not only because of COVID, but because I lived like in the middle of my state and there's only like three clinics in my state, so the closest one was like two and a half hours away, so they just did it via zoom court.
So did you have So is that what ended up happening? You went in front of a judge and like had to get like evaluated as to whether or not you could get an abortion.
Yeah. Well I was really sick. I had like something called hypermesas or hyper a these something like that Hypergrideralia. It's like a really long name. But I have like perpetual like morning sickness like all the time. Like I was like losing weight, so I had to drop out of school and basically like live in the hospital. So it was really hard to go around my mom to like meet with the lawyers like on call and like on zoom and anything with her not being there, dude.
So so it took me like a couple of weeks to get it done.
So okay, I actually I have more questions about this whole process, but before we do that, just like so your mom she was supportive and then she was she was like drunken on drugs and corn at you. But then like I I guess did she was she going back and forth between like drunk and fuck you and sober and supportive or was like what what was her deal during this time with you? Was she flip flopping? Did she kind of change and stay with her position? Like what was what was her deal?
After that initial first flip flop, she like stayed her position like using or sober. She was like, you're having it no matter what, no matter this, no matter that, And it like it. The whenever we would argue about it, because I would try and plead my case, it like the conversations always got a lot more aggressive whenever she
was using, and it was always at night. But her like her whole logic or standpoint was she's my mom, so I can't consent, so she's going to consent for me, and she wants me to have this baby, so that that's what's going to happen.
So how did you get around her? So you you found this lawyer that was helping you out that. So tell me, I mean, what the what did the kind of procedure look like? Not the not the medical procedure, but like the legal proceedings.
So basically my lawyer like filled out all the legal jargon of like the petition to the court, and then whenever it came time to like my actual court date, I like basically just locked myself in my room and told my mom I was doing like homework like online school work, and told her that she needed to be out of the house because I was going to have to like talk with my teachers and stuff like that, and like it like I just tried to get her.
I tried to use every excuse in the book to get her out of the house, like be outside, and so I would I got on zoom and it was the judge, the clerk, my lawy, and then like a few other people that like just had to be there for like their purposes. And then the judge like, I'm so sorry. This is like the first time I'm speaking about this because I'm like super nervous, but I'm like promise, I'm okay about it. The judges asked me a series of questions like how old are you, what is your life, like,
is the father still in the picture? What are your hopes and dreams, like just kind of like basic stuff like just trying to get to know me. And then she just kind of was like why do you think you want an abortion? Or why do you think you need an abortion? Why do you think an abortion is going to make your life better than having this baby? And kind of like questions like that, and then like once I inswered those, she was kind of like, Okay, well,
why do you want an abortion set up? Like putting it up for adoption or this and that, and like that's whenever I kind of went into the whole like I'm so sick I've had to like drop out of high school, and I was a junior at the time, so it was like really like time to kick it in high drive for college. Yeah, and so like I just kind of pleaded my case and like told them about like my mom and like that situation, and she ended up like granting me access.
Oh my god, man, that's really really fucking crazy that they're like, it's just it's just such a wild thing to evaluate someone for to be like, why do you think it would be better to have an abortion versus like having a whole fucking ass baby, Like you know, I mean, that's just that's just wild. So I mean, was it how shortly after that that proceeding did they did you get like the email or whatever where they granted you the the uh permission?
I got it immediately. They like it's like a actual like core document that you have to like bring to the clinic to like show that like they allowed you. They're don't like fax it or anything. So I had to like get it in. I had to get it taxed over to me, which I had to go through like my boyfriend's aunt because I couldn't have it done at my house because my mom was going to see it.
And then I had to because my state has like a at the time it did where you had to wait so many hours in between like your first initial visit and your like actual appointment visit, and so like at the time, my mom still has no idea any of this is happening or that I've been granted this, and so I have to drive me and my boyfriend have to drive two and a half hours to where
the clinic is like from where I live. And so I had to make up an excuse that we needed to sleep in my boyfriend's house or like we were going to sleep ay my boyfriend's house for whatever reason, just so we could go like drive it two and a half hours to the appointment. And so we like we go to the appointment, I do like what I need to do, like all the necessarily like blood work, they ask if I have any questions that kind of stuff, and then I have to go back a week later
for the actual procedure. So I've been like this whole time, like I've been to like the clinic and everything, and like I'm just like trying so hard not that my mom like hear any of my calls or like seeing anything like that or like any of the like paperwork that they gave me or anything like that. And then on the like day of the actual procedure, I had to like or the night before actually I had to lie again and say that we were sleeping at my
boyfriend's house because of like whatever reason. And the actual day of the procedure it was like an eight hour day because I wasn't allowed to have my phone and it was like thirty other women there like having like some kind of put like a woman made procedure done, And so the whole time I'm in there, I don't have my phone. My boyfriend has my phone, and he tells me like whenever I get out, my mom was blowing up my phone call after call, text after text.
She's like, I know you're there, I know you're doing this. I just have this feeling answer me, why aren't you answering me? And my boyfriend's like trying to text her like as it's me, but she like keeps trying to call, and it was just oh it was When I got out of there and I finally called her, it was it was not pretty.
What was that conversation, Like, well, I was really drugged up.
Let me first by saying that like they had given me like some like really strong anti nausea stuff, and so I was like fairly conscious, like I was like half asleep, half not and like I had just gotten this like procedure done, so I was like, obviously not in the right state of mind, and she I was like I answered, I'm like hello, and she's like Arianna, where are you? And like at that point, I'm like, well,
it's already happened. There's no use of lying. I'm like I'm I'm in the city and she and then she's like why are you there? And I'm like because I did the thing and like I told her, and she just like lets out the most like heart wrenching scream cry like she could like like she lost her own child, Like it was so crazy and it's so it's so crazy that I can still hear that that scream. And she was just like, how dare you do this to me?
Like I said, no, this, this and that, and I'm like I can't really talk right now, like I'll be home in a few hours. And so we end up driving back and I'm like passed out the whole time, and I just like end up like she texted me like not that I'm home. So I'm like, well, okay, So I like I just I sit at my boyfriend's house. And then the next day, I like I go to get my car because I like, I'm just she's kicking
me out. So I'm just like I go and I just like I have my hands up and my boyfriend's like in his car and I'm like, I'm just here to get my clothes in my car, that's it. And she was like she called me a murderer. First off, she literally chased me out of the house, calling me a murderer, in front of all of our neighbors on the street, in front of everybody. And I'm like, I'm just trying to get my car in my clothes. Mom, I'm just trying to hear my car and my clothes.
And then she's like just calling me a murderer all this and that I'm like in full blown tears at this point, like and I just I just get in the car and I leave because I'm like, well, I'm not getting my clothes on my car.
So have had you been? Did you ever go back and get your stuff from the house?
Oh? Yeah? There's like a lot more after that. So like a few days go by and she like eventually lets me back in the house and like we have like kind of like a heart to heart and I like tell her my side, she tells me her side, and I reside was basically just all of a sudden, she like became religious and like she couldn't imagine killing her own flesh and blood, and I'm like, that's crazy.
You've never taken me to church before, and so like that was kind of like her preposition like looking at it and why she couldn't like allow it because it was technically like she just kind of understood that it was her choice and not my choice, and so she was like, I can't allow this. If it's my choice,
I can't allow this. But I was able to like move back in and like we were okay for a few months and then so mind you this whole time, like before I got pregnant and like right after I had the first proteacher, I was on breake control, Like I religiously took my breath control with my vitamins in the morning.
And you said, got pregnant on breath control, yep.
And I got pregnant again on birth control like three months later.
So I know you said this, I know you said that happened again, but just I guess real quick, I'm so so you and your mom kind of like so tensions were like incredibly crazy fucking high. She chases you out of the house and then how many days later is it that you guys like you know, I want to say to this talk to each other.
Maybe five days to a week we didn't have any.
Contact, and how's that happen? Does she does she reach out? Did you reach out?
I want to say, she reached out? And because like this whole time, I'm like living at my boyfriend's house. Yeah, and so but it's like this happened. I want to say, it was like kind of the last two weeks of May, like whenever she called me that and like we didn't talk, and then by like the first of June she like let me back in the house. So I want to say, because my grandma was like also really heavily involved, but she's like she's like very religious, but like she like
still loves me. She was like kind of like mending the sense of like I don't want you to do this, but I understand it's your choice, but you're doing this,
but you're doing that. And so I think, like I think va me talking to my grandma and explaining my point of view and how I'm seeing things and her talking to my mom kind of ease the barrier because like she was kind of the division between us, so like we were getting both each other's points via my grandma who was like a very neutral influence between us both. Like I knew she supported my mom, but I knew she also supported me, and I think my mom knew
the same. So I think like because my grandma was able to like talk to her and kind of like explain my side a little bit more and like kind of like almost as a mom talked to her, been like, look, this is your child, like you know, like she made a choice for herself. I think that kind of like my mom off the fence. And also she had stopped using like once I had gotten the procedure done, and she had like she's like I want to say, she went full dry like killed and drinking for a bit.
I want to say, for maybe like a month or two. And so I think like her her being sober to like helped ease her forgiveness to me.
M M. And so okay, you have the procedure. Everything blows up around five days later, your grandma talks a little bit of sense into your mom. You and your mom have a rekindling of sorts. And in that rekindling, you know, are you you go back you go back home and you you were living at your boyfriend's for those five days and then you go back home and you live in your house with your mom again. Yeah, okay, And how are you feeling with with your mom? Is
the ore? The tensions like lower at this port. Are you guys able to like, you know, be around each other?
Was like, it's very obvious that she still has a lot of resentment and anger towards me. But in like the first month, it wasn't that bad because I had ended up. I got a job like really soon after, and so I was just like literally working forty forty five hours a week, like just trying to be out of the house as much as physically possible. And then like the rest of the time I would just like
be at my boyfriends or hanging out with him. So I was out of the house pretty much from like morning until night.
And so you get pregnant again, Yeah, and you're on and so you're on birth control, but you got pregnant on birth control twice? Yeah? Is that like a statistical anomaly?
Yeah? My like my OV was like I, I can't believe I'm seeing you again, Like they like they couldn't believe it themselves because they had prescribed me as the birth control both times, and it had worked for three two years beforehand, like I had had sex and had never never gotten pregnant.
Dude, that's crazy. What what is the I mean, what's what? What's the math on that? Do you know?
Maybe like one out of one hundred to five hundred thousand, maybe, man, maybe more.
You know, if only you only you gotta if only you gotta scratch off instead of a baby, I know, right.
If only I was legal enough so it could be a millionaire.
So I mean, tell me, man, what what what happened? What happens the second go round?
Okay, so before the second time, my mom ended up suing the state. Like my mom was like, I can't believe this law exists. I can't believe you would take that choice out of parents, right, And so my mom ended up suing the state.
Your mom swore the state. Your mom sued the state and one wait, okay, hold on, this is this is this is now, this is before you get pregnant the second time?
Yeah, this is like right after she found out in the first one, so like, that's what happens. So like basically she like she teamed up with this group of pro life lawyers and like wrote a letter to the legislative being like, this is my experience, and then like said exactly what happened. As a parent, I can't believe this law exists, YadA, YadA, YadA, And I guess it caused enough uproar that they changed the law to where
if you wanted, oh it's called judicial bypass. If you want a judicial bypass, you had to now go in court in your parish instead of the parish that the clinic was in, which is why I was doing online zoom because I was meeting with a judge two and a half hours away. So now if you wanted that, you had to do it in your parish. And so Louisiana has like I don't know, maybe like sixty something parishes, only three of them ever saw these type of cases.
So by the time my second one rolls around, I have to be the guinea pig of my parish's judicial system and testing whether or not they're going to allow me this because it's never happened before. Because the law had just changed.
All right, I have a stupid all right, we got We'll get into this, but I have a stupid question.
First, there's no stupid questions.
What all right? What is a parish?
Okay? A parish is like a county. It's like Louisiana's version of county.
Ah, okay, all right, thought it was like a church. I don't know why I thought it was a church.
You know what.
I thought it was a church because there's like a left you know, Left for Dead. No, this is a video game. It's called Left for Dead. It's in the in Left for Dead too, there's a fucking uh map called and has the word perish in it, and it
takes place in a church. Whatever. Okay? So okay, So your mom fucking sues, the state wins changes the laws so that you can't go to a different county to get your judicial bypass, And so now you get pregnant a second time, uh one in one hundred thousand chants, and now you have to be the first person to uh get your judicial bypass exclusively in the county that you are local to.
Yes, And my mother knew about the second one because she came to the hospital with me because I thought I was just sick and I ended up testing positive And so she found out at the exact same time as me.
Your mom, Yeah, and what happened then.
She told like I told her I wasn't gonna have it, and she said, well, don't bother coming back to the house and got up, got out of the hospital room and left me.
Was that the last time you saw her?
No? Ironically, she got up left, I had to like call my boyfriend to come pick me up. I like got in contact with those people again, and like we started the process to like do it in my county.
And my whole thing all over again.
Yeah, and my mom ended up suing me and the state. Well, she sued everybody. So she sued me, She sues the attorney general, she sees the governor, and she sues the like legislative branch.
Did she win?
No, because so ironic, Oh my god, everything about this story is ironic. But ironic enough. My court date ended
up being one day before hers. So I went in front of this old white man and I'm like this five six white like blonde white girl, and I'm just like, please please have this uh, And he's like he asks me kind of like the same series of questions, although he's just as confused as pretty much everyone else because he has no idea like what the marker for maturity is in this case, because he's never seen a case like this.
Oh so this is this is this county's first time even doing these kind of like procedures.
I'm the very first one. Yeah.
Interesting, okay, And so you.
Know, he asks me kind of like the same series of questions like what's your life, Like, what's your dreams with your goals and your aspirations? Is the father still involved? Does he support you? Like what's your family situation like? And like, so at this point I was able to tell him like, yeah, I'm homeless, like I got picked out of my house, Like it's I barely have enough money to pay for this procedure and these coordinarings by itself,
let alone like actually having a baby. And so I think those kind of like surrealish things I think really helped my side, and he ended up allowing me, which I was very surprised about. I thought we were going to have to appeal because my lawyer had prepared me like in face of rejection, like you know, like don't cry, just like just breathe, like, we'll go to appeals like right after this. We'll be okay.
And it different lawyer from last.
Time, right, yeah, this is this is this one like kind of lived in my area. He like was associated with the group, but he lived. But he had to like physically be present with me this time.
And so now you're you're not on zoom anymore. This time you're here in a place.
No, I'm like in my in my local.
Courthouse, okay, And so what happens?
And so my mom is basically like suing for a temporary restraining order on like any court proceeding dealing with me. And so.
Sorry dinner, rup, but she's okay, so you said, she okay, So she's suing like five differ people. She's fucking sue in the court house. She's suing, you said, she sued you? How did what the fuck? What is what's her grounds for a lawsuit against you?
So I'm not too sure what the like legal jargon
of it was. But she had teamed up with the lawyer like the same group of pro life lawyers and then another lawyer from Californi and basically their their whole legal stance was to stop me from retaining this judicial bypass, so that then their court proceedings against the state for allowing something something along the lines of stopping me from getting the judicial bypass to then allow their court proceedings to go on and duke out whether or not this is legal or not or whether.
Oh so they okay, So they their whole thing was they want to stop your procedure so that they can hope to win again, to get you to not be able to get your judicial bypass. Yes, that's fucking, that's pretty fucked.
And she won, but it was won. It was one day too wait, because their court day was after mine. I had already been granted it. So I had already gone to already gone to the clinic, like cause the day that my court hearing was, I had an appointment at like at the clinic again, and so I was able to Right after I left the courthouse, I went straight there and then I started the medication. And once you start the medication, and after it's been so long,
it can't stop. So by time twenty four hours later and it was their court hearing, I was already past the point where there was no salvation.
Dude, So all right, so you get your judicial bypass granted by this local parish and then like a day after, your mom wins her court case to prevent anyone from being able to get judicial bypass.
Yes, anyone in the entire state.
Really mm hmm, that's fucking crazy man. Wow.
And then my like so at this time, like my mom is not letting me live with her, like I am fan barred all of the above, and so my boyfriend, I'm like kind of living with my boyfriend and his aunt, and his aunt ends up kicking me out too. And it's she really doesn't like me, Like she understood our circumstances and like she wants the best for her like her nephew, but she really doesn't like me. We've just
never gotten along. It's something personal, I don't think. But it had to do with like smoking weed and like that kind of thing.
Is she also like a crazy religious person.
No, she's actually really cool. That was that was the weird thing about it. Is like she lets, like her son and like her nephew, smoke, but like whenever it came to me, like she thought I was like a bad influence.
So now in the state of Louisiana, know like, if you're sixteen and you get pregnant, you cannot and your mom like forces you to have a baby. You cannot get judicial bypass to get an abortion.
Well not since Rogie Waite overturned. You just can't get an abortion in Louisiana. But before it was. But then she once she figured out I had gotten my abortion, she dropped her lawsuit because she was like, there's no point in pursuing this if my daughter, because if I would have ever gotten pregnant, like right after I would have been eighteen, would have been able to time for my own.
So so after you get your second abortion, your mom stops fighting everyone because she's just like, well, there's no point anymore.
Yeah, she just lets go.
So all right, so you you were you were living with all right, So you get your second abortion, your mom is like doing whatever. You're living with your boyfriend and his aunt and then his aunt kicks you out. Yeah, and then where do you go from there?
Well? I kind of just like like I lived in my car for like a couple of days, but then like that wasn't really I couldn't really do that and go to school because I was still in school, like I was able to enroll back in school for my senior year. So I was like, well, this kind of
can't work. So I called up my godfather, who was extremely religious and like he knew everything that was going on, and I was like, hey, this is a situation, like I'm working on getting emancipated to like be able to sign to my own apartment, but because I'm not in no apartment complex, will let me sign? Can I stay with you for a few months? And thank him? I thank him every day he let me stay with him.
I didn't know staying with him for probably four months before I was able to get into my apartment and move out. But I got emancipated in that time. My lawyer like saw what my mom was doing and like all the litigation, and he was like, hell, I'll help you get emancipated, like no charge if you want to. I'm like, yeah, please.
So you get emancipate when you're like what seventeen?
Yeah, it ended up. I ended up. I think it was November fourth, twenty twenty one. I was seventeen. My mom. My mom was gonna try and fight it with one of her lawyer friends. But whenever, like I told her, who I was gonna like have his witness, like her ex boyfriend and like some other family members who she kind of sucked over. She was like, yeah, I'm gonna a losing battle.
Goddamn dude. So all right, so you get emancipated, and then what do you do? What do you do? From there? You're living with your I'm sorry you said your your uncle.
My godfather. He was like kind of like my father figure in my life, okay, and so I just kind of live with him. I live with him until the end of January, from like November, from like October November ish till January twenty twenty two, and then me and my boyfriend moved into our apartment. And I'm still a senior in high school right now.
Where you're senior high school right now?
No, I was. I was at the time.
So so you're like seventeen eighteen, you're senior in high school. You and your boyfriend moved to an apartment. How are you paying for it? Do you guys have a job?
Yeah, well I was. I was working since right after my first one, and then he had been working since like six months before. So we were both like and we were both high school seniors just like working like normal stops. Like I was working at Starbucks and he was working at the grocery store.
How'd you get time to work while being in high school?
Well, because I was a senior, I only had two classes, Like those were only the credits I need to be finished because I was like smart and did like some of my credits in middle school. But I didn't have to have like a full.
Yeah, okay, so you didn't have to go to school. So you were going to high school like a part time and then on like a work release after that.
Yeah, So I was like going to school from like seven to nine thirty and then I was like at work from like either like ten to five, where like I would work the closing like twelve to nine thirty.
And that was an I know a lot of like did you like from from like the Starbucks and the grocery street. You guys were able to make rent?
Yeah, it was actually pretty cheap. It was only like five hundred whenever we first moved in.
Damn it was what a one bedroom.
Yeah, it was like a one bedroom condo.
It was like downstairs one bedroom condo.
Five hundred bucks a month, just no, a one bedroom.
Well a one bedroom five hundred bucks a month. Yeah, pretty fucking good, especially between two of you guys. Yeah, jeez, oh my god. And so have you? Are you still is that where you're still living now?
Yeah? And so I graduate.
And now you're in college college? What do you study?
Microbiology?
Wow? And your boyfriend, what's you do?
He still works at the same grocery store, but he works in like the meat department.
Cool, he likes and does stuff. What's what's what's the what's the hope and dream for you?
Definitely move out of his town, definitely, probably states, maybe countries. I kind of just want to live like a little farm life in a cottage in like the mountains and just garden.
So did you ever talk to your mom again?
Yeah? About like whenever I was moving in, she like slowly started to like integrate her way back into my life. Like she offered like bias a TV and like bias groceries, and like I was pissed, poor broke at the time. I'm not going to deny the help. So she like slowly started to ease her way in that way. And then now it's crazy to say, but we're actually kind of cool. It's like really not really mother daughter. We're like more so just friends. Yeah, But I mean, like
she tells me all of her drama with her. I'm kind of like her therapist in a way. Really, Like I just kind of listen to her drama and stuff and I give her advice. And that's about as far as our relationship goes. I mean, it's not been ever too personal.
So you and your mom, so, I mean, goddamn, your mom like just makes your life fucking hell for you know, two years during this crazy difficult time, she's doing all this insane litigation stuff really not being a mom. And then later like what what's the deal? So she starts like slowly like integrating herself back into like I guess, okay, so she leaves, So okay, so you're in the hospital, you find out that you're pregnant again, she leaves. You don't hear from her much, I guess, except her like
suing everyone. And then when does she start to come back into your life?
And how well, Like after I got emancipated, she started the only contact she had on me was email. So she just started emailing me like once a week, just giving updates about her life and like asking how I'm doing, and I never responded. I would just like look at them, how I'd read them, I kind of sigh, and then I would just delete them. And that went on for
probably about three months. And then like whenever we were moving in, I still had some stuff at my mom's house, so I needed to like go back to like get directed myself, like my bed was still there and that kind of stuff, and she was gonna let me take it, and so all of our context was like between my grandma, so like I would just ask my grandma to ask her like when I could go and that kind of stuff.
And then whenever, like I got to her house, we just kind of got to talking and it was like it's kind of weird to say, but it was like you could feel the tension like from the stuff that just happened. But it was also kind of like normal in a way because my mom's like always kind of done me dirty, Like she's kind of always done me wrong, So like us being in that situation where like her asking for forgiveness and like asking to be left back into my life isn't something new, so I'm kind of
like I guess used to that. I'm like used to her asking to come back, and.
Every end, despite everything, you found the strength to is is forgive her the right word? Would you say you've forgiven her by letting her back into your life?
I think I think I have. I think I've forgiven. I just haven't forgot. Like it's still it just bawns on me sometimes, like especially whenever like we talk about
like certain topics and stuff like that. But I think, for the most part, like I understand, like I understand a lot of it is due to like her drugs and her alcoholism and how selfish that can make her, and how like during that time, the drugs were definitely not helping and probably just feeling into her selfishness, and so like I guess I kind of recognize that, and I guess I kind of not like blame, but like m I guess I expect her to do that kind
of stuff because of the drugs. So like in a way, I know it's not her, Like I know it's not like my my mom that's doing that, And.
Yeah it does does. I mean, that's a lot of so so she's you're kind of like her therapist now, like she'll come to you for like advice, and to events.
Yeah, so, like she's dating this guy who has the same name as her ex, and so like whenever they first started dating, she like would come to me and she'd be like do I tell him? Do I not tell him? And then like she just like there's like I definitely have boundaries with her, but she has no boundaries with me. Like any topic in her life is
like completely okay to talk about with me. So like she's like talking to me about like their like their intimacy like compared to her ex and that kind of stuff, and asking like my opinion on that, or like asking like if she should text them or if she should not text them.
Really? Wow, man, Yeah, your mom's a doozy.
Is She's something that's for sure?
And uh, I mean, how do you feel, like do you being in this uh after this whole entire crazy saga, I mean, how do you how do you feel about being in this position with her?
Oh? I mean, honestly, I think I'm just relieved because the situation could have gone a lot worse. Like I mean I could have two babies right now, or I can have a baby and see at college and stuff like that, And so I think because things worked out in my favor the way I wanted them to. Gives me a lot of room to be gracious, like I'm not gonna have a forever child, reminding me of what my mom tried to do with me, Like I don't have that forever scar unless like I really like think about it.
M hm m m yeah, yeah, because I mean, look, man, right now, you know, being twenty and living in this apartment and you're working, going to school, you're doing all these things. I mean you really, I mean, you could do it with if you had a kid, but it'd be a thousand fucking times harder, and then you know, you'd build resentment, you'd build further that meant for your mom, and that might lead into resentment for the kid, and it would just have been a been a fucking you know disaster.
Yeah, I was never a healthy situation to start with.
I'm gonna just real quick, I'm gonna ask if the chat has any questions for you, because this has been a by the way, I want to thank you. I'll let the chat put some questions and I'll pick some questions from the chat, but I want I want to thank you for talking to us about this. This whole crazy story. I hope it was beneficial or helpful to you to to talk through. I mean, it's it's totally wild, and I have I have tons of respect for you
for for a lot of things. For you know, your your ability to continue to have a relationship with your mom withstanding all of these, uhwithstanding this whole saga, and for your ability to stay strong throughout it all and to kind of be able to emerge, you know, with a with a good, happy life on the other end of it.
Thank you.
Let's see here, someone wants to know if you have advice for any if you have advice for women in similar scenarios.
Go with your good feeling, because I have never regretted my choices ever in the slightest, not one bit. It's a really hard decision, and I completely empathize with you, but just always do what's best for you, no matter what anybody thinks, because at the end of the day, you got to live with a choice.
Someone asked, do you ever want a kid.
To be determined? After being really sick that first time? New research has found out that it's actually genetic, So if I ever do become pregnant again, it might happen again, and I don't know if that's something that I'm willing to like put my life at risk, and adoption is always a good option. I think if I ever want a child in my life, but I don't have, I have really big aspirations to travel and to live my life to the extent, and if a child fits in there,
then a child fits in. But if not, I don't have any desire right now.
Someone said, what kept you going when it looked dire?
My boyfriend was a really big help. He was a really big support to lean on and to just hear me vent over and over about my mom and how I can believe it. We'd helped a lot. My anxiety was really bad, like my sickness was really bad, and just thinking about my future. Honestly, I've always been a
big dreamer. That kind of always helped me. When I was younger and my mom was using and I was scared, so I just kept dreaming of like my dream vacations and I would just plan them out in my head whenever I got over anxious, and that like always helped calm me down because I always had something to look forward to and all look about. Uh.
Someone asked which fast food joint you think has the best French fries?
Ooh ooh m McDonald's when they're crispy.
Yeah, yeah, I've been Actually, i've been into Burger King recently. I was at a Burger King at the airport and they have all these like breakfast options. It was like seven in the morning and they have all these breakfast options, but at the very bottom it's it's a tab and it literally says on the tablet, do you want a whopper for breakfast? And I was like, I kind of do when So I had a whopper and fries at
seven in the morning. It was pretty good. I don't know why I threw that in there, but let's see if there's a Oh okay, I actually this is the last one, and I'm curious about this. Where do you want to go? You said you want to travel a lot. What's your dream destination?
Oh? My dream is probably the man that's hard, probably Italy. I really like Italian culture or like Italian food too. But I have a trip plan in Scotland and Ireland next summer, right after the finals of my junior year, so I'm really excited for that.
What's your name? Again, Ariana, Ariana, Well, Ariana, look, I'll say it again. I mean, dude, like going through all this shit, having you know, especially without your dad and with your mom being crazy, and it's just I'm inspired by how you were able to deal with all this shit and then still come back on top and you're out here living your best life and you're making it work and you seem like you're happy, and you know, congrats to you on all that stuff.
Thanks Gak.
Well, is there anything else that you want to say to the people of the computer or about the story, or about French fries or anything at all before we go?
Make good choices. If you don't make good choices, you can always change them.
Well, take care, Arianna, and thank you for calling and sharing your story.
Thanks gag later, dude later.
That's crazy, man. I mean, I you know, I'm I'm very lucky I have I have supportive, supportive parents because you know, I don't know, it's one thing, like it's one thing like being a like if you're gonna be like a piece of shit in your own universe, right like self destructive and you know, make bad choices like I get it, you know, I get it, But to do all of that as like a as like an attack on your own child. This is fucked up. So whatever
I mean. I also, I really do, I really have a deep respect for Arianna, Like, after all that man, after all that, she still is will she's willing to hang out with her mom and give her boy advice. I mean that takes a lot of that kind of forgiveness.
It takes a lot of character, it really does to do all that, to like to take all that like evil stuff her mom was doing and then recognize that beneath all of that is a woman who is struggling with her addiction and her you know, drug abuse and alcoholism and problems with her own relationships and of course and look, she could look at all that and be like, I don't give a fuck. I'm not responsible for that. You're a grown woman. You can handle it. And you know,
she can do that if she wanted to do. But this is not what she did. She recognized it and she went, you know what, I'll be your girly, you know, send tell me about this guy. And I really have a deep respect for that. It reminds me of I've talked about this before. I've talked about fucking toy story Toy Story three. It reminds me of that scene in Toy Story three where lots of hugging where they fucking uh,
lots of hugging Bear. He had just fucked over all of the toys and he was just fucking them over. He was scheming hard to fuck them over, and he does, and he sends them all onto the track. But then he also gets sent into the trash and all the toys are like grabbing metal stuff to like avoid the incinerator. You guys know what I'm talking about. And then they're about to like get over the incinerator when lots of hugging Bear is like, help me. I'm stuck. I'm stumped
down here. I'm stuck. I need help, and do you know and ever and everyone's like, come on, Woody, we gotta go fucking leave him. He's a piece of shit. Leave him. And then what does Woody do? It makes me cry to think about it every time. What does Woody do? Because he's Woody and he has this like immaculate character to him, he fucking goes down there and he saves lots of hugging Bear from the incinerator because that's the kind of guy he is. And then do
you know what lots of huggin Bear does. He fucks them over again. It's insane, It's insane. It's I think about this movie all the time. Anyway, I don't know, this just reminded me of that. Thank you for sharing your story, Arianna. Rep Cat goes on the line taking your phone calls every night. The repeak Can goes doing his eye who's teaching you to a hout in the middle of your life, but he's not really an expert.