Hey, folks, it's Lyle. How's it going. Before we start the show, I want to let you guys know that if you live in the Pacific Northwest San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, or Minneapolis, I am coming to your town next week to do my Therapy Gecko Live show. These shows are a very good time. They are a combination of uh, you know, doing what we do here on this podcast, where we bring people up on stage, we do a little group Gecko therapy, and it's also a storytelling show.
I've been living my life. I went to Iraq, i went to Ukraine. I've been you know, doing a bunch of interesting, cool stuff and I've written about it. I've performed, you know, created some material about it that I'm very excited to present to you guys. So please get a ticket and come to the show. I'd love to see it. June fourth, San Francisco, Swedish American Hall, June fifth, Portland, Polaris Hall, June sixth, Seattle at the Crocodile, June seventh,
in Vancouver at the Biltimore Cabaret. June ninth in Minneapolis at the Parkway Theater. You can get tickets to all those dates, and I also have many other dates that I'm doing this month and August and September, I'm going all over the place. It's just next week I'm going to the Pacific Northwest. So I wanted to shout out those shows in particular. You can get tickets to all of these shows at Therapy Gecko tour dot com. So if you haven't gotten a ticket yet, you should come
to the shows cuz they'll be fun. All right, let's get into the episode.
Hello, Oh my god, it's the Gecko.
What's up? Man? What's your name?
My name is Riley, Riley?
What's going on Riley's life?
You know, it's it's it's ever changing.
It is ever changing. It is ever changing as much as ever.
But but it's good. It's like really good. I would I would say it's good. Yeah, it's ever like super really good. But like right now, it's good.
So what is it that you wanted to talk about today?
I don't know, man, Like, uh, I don't know. A long time listener of the show, a big fan. I've been dealing with a lot of existentialism over the past couple of weeks, which has been like interesting because like I'm I'm twenty eight. My ten year high school reunions this year. I'm currently starting school over going to paramedic school, which is like, I don't know, it's weird because like ten years ago that I that was my goal to start ten years ago, and now I'm doing it now.
And then also I like look at people who also graduated school like ten years ago and like where they're at in life, and I cannot like jealous or like feel bad about where I'm at in life. It just is just it's just weird. You know. Does that make sense? Yeah?
You know what's funny. I had a dude, I don't
know what it is. I saw some like I don't know, I don't know why I saw it, but I was like looking at the linked in profile of this kid that I had art class with when I was in middle school, and he and I would like draw dicks on the textbooks together, you know, and we would like there was I think there was this girl that we both liked and we were just trying to like get a rise out of her by drawing dicks on the on the textbooks and stuff and fright, and he was
just like a silly kid, right, And I was looking as LinkedIn and he's like a fucking real estate agent guy, now, you know. And I was looking at him and he has any of these looks like a real guy. He's got a suit, you know, he's like and all and the essence of like just us drawing those dicks on the textbooks, It's like, gone, it's like that guy is you know, where is he? Where'd he go? It just gave me a weird feeling. Yeah, it gave me. It
gave me a weird feeling. Is that is that sort of the feeling you're getting where you're like, I'm not jealous of these people. It's just interesting seeing where everyone everyone, everyone wound up in a place.
Yeah, you know, I know I think that's I think I think I'm finally at the age where I'm like realizing that I'm not like a young adult anymore and I'm more of an adult. Like there's like there's a there's a definite like change of when you go from like you move out and you're figuring it out and then like and then all of a sudden, you're just that's your life. And I feel like I'm at that point too. I think part of that too, is I've
recently gotten sober. Oh, and I've had like a lot of like self reflection on that.
What's that?
Like, it's it's cool, it's cool to be sober. I was a drinker and now I'm not. And I haven't really done it like in like other stuff I do, like trooms and weeds, but I don't like getting stoned like not, I don't get anxiety or I don't know, it's not as cool as it was when I was in high school. I think, like fucking weed is like I get bored easily, or I just like don't enjoy it. So I just yeah, it's been like sober for as long as I've been sober, since I was like eighteen.
So what inspired you to What inspired you to get sober? My wife, that's why you feel like an adult. You have a you have a wife.
Yeah that but yeah, I mean, I mean I don't know, like I never really had a drinking problem per se. Then like two years ago my uncle died and I just kind of set me off the deep end when I just progressively got worse and worse and worse, and it was like it took a huge toll on my mental health and that took a huge toll on my wife's mental health, and so that was like step number one was just like you know, trying to be happy in my life and my marriage and getting sober was
the way to do that. And I don't regret it, and I'm like constantly every day is cool. And I was listening to a podcast the other day, the bomb Hole podcast, the snowboarding podcast, and the host of it got sober and his like his talks and sobriety kind of is what like started spinning, like spending the gears in my brain without getting sober because he would talk about it and it was very it hit close to home, like like when he was drinking and like when he
was doing drugs. Yeah, and so getting sober is been really good. I had. I did have to relearn how to snowboard and mountain bike though, which is interesting.
How did you have to Why did you have to relearn how to do it? Did you only know how to do it when you were drunk?
No? No, I wasn't. Like it's just it's different, like because like like because mountain biking is like it's a very social part of like drinking is a very like heavy part of it, like not like a bad way, but there's a lot of like we're gonna go for a mountain bike ride and then we're gonna go go to a brewery and listen and like and drink beer. We're gonna go to a rest, go to the happy hour afterwards, and you know, or you'd have a beer beforehand. So it was just kind of like a tool to
get ready to drink beer. H and so then like I'd finished a mountain bike ride or a road ride and be like, okay, now what I do. I'm not getting deer and then snowboarding and then snowboarding like you'd start the day sober and then I progressively drink more throughout the day, trying to find the threshold of like where I'm the best at the sport and so like that, like you got looser and the confidence was a lot more.
So this is like my first year snowboarding sober, and it was it was like a lot different because it felt a lot more linear, like snowboarding throughout the day of like you know, I you know, wake you know, warm up, take a drink, have a beer, have a shoot or whatever, do another lap, like kind of past yourself off that, whereas without drinking, you're just like, oh, I just gotta just kind of stay in that headspace all day because it kind of like it was like
a cheat code. You drink and then you go and then you just be like where you want it to be performance wise. Snowboarding. Mmm.
Yeah, So it's like you had to relearn it in the sense that it's for you in activity that is deeply tied to drinking.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, is that like those activities are deeply tied to drinking and not that I couldn't do them without drinking. It's just it's learning how to do them and not it's like unpavlopping yourself.
Oh yeah, totally totally. I'm trying to think what I have that way. I mean I have that with uh, I have that with smoking weed and everything. Uh not Like I mean a lot of people have that right where they're like, Oh, I'm gonna go to the grocery store, let me smoke weed beforehand. Oh cool, we're gonna go see them this movie. Let me get blasted beforehand. I've had periods of time in my life where I was like, anytime I'm not working, I'm high, you know. Like it
was just yeah, it's like yeah, dude. And also I feel that with dude, all all of my fucking like addictions and ship, I feel that way about Like.
That was me with like beer, like like last year. Last year, I'd be like, oh, my wife would be at work and I'd be done for the day and I'd be like, well, I want to watch Edie time. I need to watch with a six pack.
Right right right? Yeah you got Yeah, it's true. You got to Unpavla of yourself.
Yeah, I got unpavlov myself, which is like it was. It's been cool. It's seven months as of tomorrow tomorrow is seven months sober, and that's like, uh and that's a that's a cool a cool feat And I met I met one of my heroes snowboarding who's also sober at him at five months and he told me that was the hardest, the hardest time. And it feels like it's gotten easier every day and then I could take away and have on the variety too. Is like being
sober isn't what's hard? Like staying fucked up all day is hard, Like financially and like mentally of well, where's the money going? To go to buy a bottle of tequila? Where's the money coming from to buy you know, a six pack of night to watch Adventure Time? And like, or how do I how do I stay fucked up and people not realize I'm fucked up? Oh?
The Yeah, the being fucked up is the hard part. And the staying that's a that's a fac that's a fascinating reframing. That's a fascinating reframing.
Yeah.
Yeah, Like it's like it is hard to get sober, like that is true, but it is easier to stay sober than it is to stay fucked up.
Dude. You know what, Dude, give me some fucking therapy, because I'm at a point I'm at a point right now where I'm like, I'm so i feel like I'm in a crazy the feedback loop of my addictions that I can't escape from. Like you know, you know how it is what you're like, every every day you go, yeah, every day, every day you go, today's a day, and then every night you go, Tomorrow's the day, and it's just just and then it dude, it's the existential shit.
If you're just like, well fuck it, every fucking day is fucking today. You know, it's just it's so hard. I don't even how to like get like I don't even know how to get out of that like kind of rat race of it.
You know, Oh no, because I've been there too before, because I like I like danced around the idea of sobriety, and like I kind of like grew up around sobriety too, because my parents both met an A and so like my entire life was like I'm gonna be better than my parents. I'm never going to be an addict, and then here here I am in the same boat. But it's like I don't know, it's like hard, It's like a hard thing. I would do the same thing of like Okay, I'm done, I've done drinking, Like this is
gonna be my last drink. And then I go to work and I hated my job or I was just overwhelmed by like existing, and I was like, you know what, tomorrow, tomorrow is a better day to quit drinking. And then like tomorrow never came for like three years, yeah, and then like one day it finally it clicked. And for me, it kind of like took getting closer to a rock bottom. And I don't want to say, like, I think it's disingenuine to say the only way to get sober is
to be at a rock bottom. And I think it really depends on like the type of person you are, Like for me, it took getting close to rock bottom to get sober, but for other people, like other ways to like frame it too, is like for your health right, Like it's like, well, I don't want to feel like shit anymore, and like the moment I stopped doing this, I can, uh sorry, I can stop feeling a little less shitty. And then another thing too, is like finding
something to replace it, like healthily. Yeah, like uh, I want Like when I first quit drinking, I really just wanted to drink, So anytime I would drink, I would I'd go on a mountain bike ride or I'd go on a road ride. And I kind of helped too, like I was like, well, ah, but well, I can't sit at home. I'm too tempted. I can't go out so too tempted. So then they go do something I enjoy.
And I've known people who like they uh, decide to quit something and they need to keep their hands busy, so they got like a small craft going like I know someone who started knitting because they wanted to get sober.
M hm uh, and so like that's that's something that like I've looked into as well, Like it never worked for me because I have ADHD and I just get distracted by all the small little projects, right, I can't like have like a craft's hobby like knitting or sewing or making something just because I get so like, well, I can do it bigger and better and do this thing next, and I like lose all the all the steam for it because something else caught my eye.
Yeah, it's hard to be Uh, it's hard to do several things when you got this young ADHD.
Yeah. So but yeah, that's where I'm at, like seven months sober in paramedic school, which is like I'm really excited for congrats men, and uh yeah, just living in southwest Colorado and like the worst year to live in southwest Colorado.
Why is it the worst year to live in southwest Colorado?
Oh? We had a terrible snow path. Like I'm so afraid of everything around us catching on fire. We had like one like when I first moved here in twenty twenty, like we had snow on the ground from October to
till April. This winter, we didn't have snow on the ground until I got back from a job in California, and then we had snow on the ground for like into in duran in Duringo Colorado, where I lived like maybe two weeks maybe, and that was in like February, and then like a little bit in March, and then come April, like everything in town was dry. We could, we could. There's really no point in the year. If
stott on Viking it was like really bad. But we already hit peak river flow for the year, like two weeks to go, so the river's not gonna get any high unless we get rain. So this is not a that it's bad weather. You're living south with Colorado.
Well, I should say, you sound like you know a lot about the weather, and I respect that.
I I mean when you like when like I love snowboarding, I got maybe forty days this year and sixty days last year, like last season. And so when you're like looking at how the how that snowfall for like affects your like how the weather affects your like one of your favorite sports. When your entire sport is like weather depended, you got you kind of gotta and it's.
Like, how does.
How's that?
How's that guys Sean White doing? I bought a I played his Wii game that you know back in the days on textbooks.
Yeah, now I remember that game. Now. Sean White's like a cool guy in the space. Uh. He's doing a lot and a little for the snowboarding community at the time right now. Like he no, he doesn't have an NFT, but he he started his own snowboard apparel and snowboard brand, and then he sponsors like a little dude who lives in Tell Your Ride. He's like absolute ripper, like some ten year old kid who's like better a snowbere than I'll ever be. And then he started a competition called
the snow League, which is pretty cool. It's like another another contest space for half type snowboarders, which is good. Yeah, he's like he's finally getting getting back in there and like helping help him advance the snowboard community.
Fuck yeah, man, I've never snowboarded before because I no, no, I like, I don't like the fact that your feet are clamped to the board, you know what I mean? I like, I like, I like, I like this freedom of skateboarding. I'm always afraid I'm gonna like like, like I like skateboarding. It feels like anytime you're on the skateboard, you can go back to you the option to walk is right there, you know what I mean. There's nothing between you and changing your method of travel from skateboarding
to walking. But with the snowboard, it's like your ass is snowboarding, and if you want to change from snowboarding to walking, there was a there's a procedure, you know. I don't like having a procedure between me and walking.
No, that's that's super fair. And I kind of like I have like the opposite when I skateboard. Every time I go skateboarding, I get like super frustrated because I'll be trying to drop into a bowl and it's no near a step or as deep as a half pipe like the local half pipe at our local ski resort.
And I'll do that all the time, do that, go and switch going regular But on a on a skateboard, I just sometimes a mental I can't and I like be thinking like it'd be so much better if my feet were just strapped to the thing right now.
Interesting. Interesting, Yeah, sometimes when I'm working at my desk, my ADHD makes me want to go, you know, leave the room and get a snack or get high or you know, do whatever. And it would be easier if my feet were strapped to the ground. That's how I feel about those things. And the most things in life would be easier to do if you had your feet strapped to them. What's your name again?
My name is Riley?
Riley, right, that's about By the way, that's such a name of a skateboard of a snowboarding guy. Riley.
Thank you, Riley of the Year, Riley.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
No, that's it. Thanks for thanks for answering, of.
Course, thank you, Riley.
Uh.
Good luck with your continued sobriety. You've inspired me. Maybe tomorrow I'll stop eating cosmic brownies for breakfast every day.
That's those are so good, I understand.
That's the problem with That's the problem with food addiction is it's so funny. It's like hilleous, like I'm being serious and it's so funny.
No. I know I'm there too, because I have, like, since since quitting drinking, I've treated the want for alcohol to like sugar.
But you know what's funny is is like we're also like conditioned, like the like when I was a kid, I would have the hot fudge Sunday pop tarts and we're like we've been we've been conditioned to believe that, like that's a breakfast.
Oh yeah, no, I yeah, I that that happened to me. I was like, I need, I need a better breakfast. I'm tired of oatmeal and I want something.
Healthy pop tarts. Pop charts are healthy.
They're not they're not at all. They're terrible for you, but they're so good. Thanks rather, I'll see around the universe.
Man, all right, thank you Jack.
That was Riley, right, is a good fucking guy.
I love.
I love one of the things I like about this podcast. Man, just meet a guy like Riley and you're like, damn, there's just a chill ass dude in the world somewhere. It's pretty cool. How much Sunday ones are good. The rug Rats Go Wild had a wild strawberry pop tart with the characters on them back in two thousand and something. Someone, how do we get those? How do I get my? I want someone get how do I get my hands on a box of two thousand and four rug Rats
Go Wild movie promotional pop tarts. Someone let me know if they have leads on that.
Hello, Hi, is this therapy got go?
Yes? Hi? Who is this?
Bro? You can call me.
Jerry?
Jerry? Oh my god, you texted me and you said, what the hell has been going on with the podcast?
Okay?
Yes, okay, So you've been getting a lot of like weird calls on the podcast, like like weirder than normal and not like not like weird and like oh some and has this like long, like strange story to tell you know, it's kind of more so like it's just like unexpected shit has been happening.
Okay, And.
Yeah, how do you feel about that?
I'm gonna tell you something. This podcast has been going for six years. There is nothing I can't I can't even kind of think of what you're talking about that is different than what it normally is.
Yeah, I mean I guess my like examples would be, like, okay, like the Jose Guy that was weird, right, everyone thought that was like kind of obscure and everybody had different opinions about it. But I think it's so different.
It's so.
Ever, dude, why did that jose call cause such a stir? It's so funny to me, it.
Was like, well, I think.
I think it's because you put him on the two minute.
Hold, right, like okay.
I think a lot of people were kind of just like what the hell, because I know, personally, like I've been listening to for like pretty much since like the pandemic, and I think it was just like something that like, personally, I was taken back by and I think some people would probably agree with, like, oh my god, ly'll just put this guy on a week on timeout and like.
It wasn't a timeout, it was just a too it was it. It was okay, I was trying. Here's the why I had him sitting at two minute signs with us is because he was coming into this phone call with a certain way that he wanted to be, or a certain way he wanted it to go, and he was clinging so deeply to that idea that I he wasn't letting me have a conversation with him. However, he was in that moment, and so I was like, all right, I'm and I was I was like, I don't, I
are on my end. I will refuse to cling to the idea that a podcast should even be, that this conversation should be I'm gonna refuse to cling to the idea that this conversation should be anything, and I'm gonna sit in two minutes of silence. And so once those two minutes of silence happened, it was like all bets are off as to what this conversation should or shouldn't or could or couldn't be. That's why I was trying to illustrate.
Yeah, I mean like I understood that part too, because like it was just it was kind of a wacky phone call, you know, Like obviously I've been listening for a long time. I've heard some like crazy phone calls, but that one was just kind of like whoa, Like, what the hell is even happening? And like I think every other second, like me and my partner are listening to it, and we like we were just like jaw dropped like every other second because like we didn't know
what we were expecting. And I don't think, like, like you said, there is not like uh direction necessarily, but like we were both just like what the hell is even going on right now?
Dude?
I have this thought I have this thing of you know, you go ahead, if you have more to say, I wouldn't want to hear it.
No, I was just gonna say like it was almost kind of like in the same way like I can't remember if you've ever said if you've done like acid or anything like that, but it's kind of like when you're stuck in like us psych a delic loop. That's like just kind of what it felt like listening to it.
Dude, I want to do more stuff like that. I I know after that podcast episode. After that episode in particular, I was like, I have this thing where I was like, I should fuck up this podcast more. I should release an episode where it's just me saying the for yeah for an hour.
The yeah, absolutely, the the you know what I mean, because I already I'm at this thing where I'm like, I've again, It's like I already know.
What having a normal conversation feels like. So the only way to evolve is to just start doing wacky, dumb bullshit. But then but then that's that's me sort of, I guess, surrendering to this idea that I've heard all the stories, that they're already here, and that's not that that is not true, of course, as we're constantly making new people. There's infinite people I've never spoken to. But I have that inclination to just be like, you know what, let me just let me interview a tree for an hour.
You know what, Fuck this show, I'm gonna interview a fucking tree for an hour.
Wait. You should do something like that. You know how they have like the little there's like clips and they are I don't know what exactly it's called, but it's like how they make plan music and they like clip these little things. Yeah, yeah, you should do that and like see like what it's what it does when you're like talking to it.
There's this guy actually, you know it's funny. I feel like I've already done. I feel like this idea has been done before. There's this guy, Dan Henschel. He's a very funny.
Uh.
I guess we could call him a content creator.
Uh.
He makes this He made this YouTube video where it's like I think it's like challenging. He's like holding he's in he films all his videos in his car, and he's like in his car and he's like he's holding a gourd and he's like challenging myself to talk about this gourd for an hour, and I'm like, that's see, that's genius, that's fun, that's just like creative. You know that's cool. I mean, I like it's nice also to
do a thing that's grounded in reality. But I don't know, have you ever felt like you were you're like stuck inside you, like stuck as yourself? You ever felt that way?
Like what do you mean?
Okay, see you see you haven't.
Oh well do you mean like do you mean like stuck like in a like like I couldn't like veer off my like path that I've beaten to, like change.
A sort of sorry or just that like you know, you are who you like. Some had some you like little faith in your ability to I guess I don't know change or whatever. Wait, what's your name again?
I've been going by Jerry and Jerry.
Yeah, Jerry, what's going on in your life?
So funny you ask? I was actually not supposed to get like stuck on the phone with you at all today, Like that was not my plan. I actually had to go drive door to ash and make money today. But this is infinitely better. I'm gonna have all night to do that. But yeah, I'm I'm going camping this weekend with some friends.
Cool.
I'm going on an Alaskan cruise like a week after that, which is kind of insane. But other than that, I hit my job and I'm trying to figure out new uh employment And that has been the pinnacle of my life right now is how to survive?
Is your job doing door dash?
Sometimes I have I am like doing a couple of different things. I work a retail job as like a stalker, and then I also work at like an office. But I hate those two situations that I'm in. So I then driving for DoorDash, which is like getting so difficult because gas is so expensive.
Yeah, so yeah, yeah.
I can imagine that the profit for that is kind of tough.
Well, I think a lot of people who order DoorDash, because I know I didn't before like driving for DoorDash, I don't think they realize that DoorDash does not pay you. You only make the tip that you give.
Is that true? Doda paid, you only get paid the tip.
You only get paid the tip. So like what if I'm like, if you tip someone three dollars and the restaurant you order from is like seven miles away. They're only making like you know, not even a dollar per mile that they drive, and like not to mention the time that you spend on doing that.
That's so fucking crazy. I hate that. I fucking hate the way that, Like I don't know, it's like, dude, one of the what is the fucking company just like pay the fun like tipping. Tipping in general is so like annoying, Like I love what like when you go to like uh like Europe and Asia and stuff, they just don't have it because like all the companies, like, you know, it's just so we all the companies like kind of you know, like actually like pay the wage
instead of like making the consumer pay the wage. It's kind of fucked up crazy.
Yeah, well, I mean you would think like a company like DoorDash too, like they tack on so many like extra fees and things like that to your order that like part of that would go to the dasher. But no, like sometimes they have uh like incentives, but I haven't gotten like a notifications or an incentive in a while, aside from like oh this area is super busy, you might make like one extra dollar per delivery. But but that's it.
What do you think you're gonna do after the store dash gig?
Oh you know, I've been asking myself that for months now, and it has been so like like get end to me. I guess I don't know. I had like a career for like ten years like a while ago, and then I like stopped doing that, and then it was just kind of like in and out of like retail type stuff. But it's so like soul fucking to me, and like I know, I am like I can be a higher valued employee in some way somewhere, especially with like my
office experience. Realistically, I kind of want like a work from home situation because I love to travel and just like have some type of sweedom and autonomy.
What was your Uh you said you had a career. What was your career?
I was a professional body piercer for ten years.
Oh shit, how come you don't do that?
That's like a whole nother.
Messed up like story.
But like basically there's just a.
Lot of like internal drama in the professional body piercing realm and community and like people aren't very nice to each other, and like not that that should matter a whole lot, but it really does, because a lot of it is like word of mouth.
I feel like that should I feel like that should totally matter. I feel like, yeah, I mean if that's like that the universe, if the universe that you're being a part of is like a generally unkind universe, then yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, it's just really like toxic, and I mean I think the last couple of years it's been getting a little bit better, but like there's just a lot of like there's a lot of like uh like essay.
And like abuse not necessarily always physical, and like harassment and.
Things like that. And there's like a new generation versus like an old generation type of vibe and like people not being held accountable for certain things and people still like supporting them. So it's kind of like just a lot of moving pieces that like I'm more than like good like stepping away from you know, can't you?
Is there is there a thing you can like go independent on though? Or you or is that do you need too many like licenses?
It depends on where you're at, but it's certainly something you can be independent on. But it's, like I said, it's hard to like, it's hard to not be part of the community because it's a lot of word of mouth, and if you're like independent, it's just like any small business, like if you're like a hairstylist or something like that, where it's like you kind of have to build up
your own clientele. And it's also just like not a great, uh like industry to be in at the moment because it is like a luxury service, so people aren't really wanting to spend that money, and plus like the cost of jewelry and shit, it's just not like it's not the same as it I was like when I was doing it, because I stopped like maybe like I don't know, it's like four years ago, ish.
Mm hmm, So it's.
Just like kind of more of a pain than like, yeah, I was also pretty burnt out, so like I just don't think I would ever go back to it, but I would like some type of creative job that is maybe weird from home. But if it's not creative, then it's just kind of like as long as I'm making money and I'm not.
Dreading working, well, I believe in you. I don't know, I mean, yeah, it's a tough it's a tough world, but but I believe in you. I believe in you.
Jerry.
Is there anything else you want to say to other people? Thank you, Matt, thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm trying to believe in me. I'm trying to believe in me. We can believe in each other and fly off in out or space together, man, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, thank you for sharing.
Jerry.
Is there anything you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I but can I ask you one question?
Yeah?
Well?
Wait is the question the thing you want to say?
No?
No?
Oh okay, so you have two things?
Two things?
Yes, sure, okay.
So my partner and I were sitting in the car the other day listening to you, and they turned to me and say, do you think Lyle Ever gets lonely? I said, I'm pretty sure Lyle has mentioned being lonely on the podcast, not that that's a funny thing, but it was just like, like, I've heard you speak about things like this, But how are you? Are you lonely?
Are you?
What was? Can I all right? Let me what was happening at the in the podcast at the time when that person, when you're your partner said that.
What podcasts were we listening.
Well, I want to know the exact to give me. I want to know the podcast and the time code. When when he said that, so I can give that to my therapist, go ahead? When was it?
Oh? Okay, it was the girl you're talking to about. And she kept saying she wanted papers, and she kept she her husband was sexting a Nigerian.
Oh yeah, yeah, and she had.
An affair with her coworker. And I don't know what you were like actually saying in the podcast because I was driving, I was kind of zoning out a little bit because the whole episode was a little crazy. But yes, that was just like what we're listening to.
What about that made made him? Made him feel like I was lonely?
What makes wait? Can I put you on the phone with him?
Sure?
Okay, here, Hello, what's up? Hey? Whatever? Geck?
What what about that podcast made you feel like I was lonely?
You know?
It wasn't like necessarily that podcast. I just we were on like a string of like crazy episodes, and like, you know, like I just thought of, like you talk to so many people and get like all walks of you know, like all perspectives and like situations and just like you know, are exposed to all that, and maybe it's not like you're forming like relationships with these people or friendships necessarily, but it's just like you know it, I for like, I guess people like me, you know,
I see a bunch of people every day, you know, strangers, and don't have any sort of like interaction other than you know, high at the most.
You know.
So I just was just wondering, like, does that, like do you ever get like lonely even though you know you talk to so many people you know, from all over everywhere.
Well, the I mean the relationship I have, I have multiple answers to that question. Well, the relationship I have with like like callers on this show and the context in which I am having these conversations for a recorded podcast is like it's very like it's a very separate thing from my like actual personal life, except in some instance.
Except that there's been like some instances, mainly when I make my little documentaries like like uh like fucking like uh, the guy that I walked across Japan with like that, like he became my actual friend, you know, the dude I went to the guys, I went to Ukraine and Iraq, with like those guys are like my actual friends, you know. But I don't, like, I don't this is this feels
like recording this podcast. It doesn't feel like I'm it's a it's kind of a different paradigm because it's like, I guess, working, so it's not like I'm socializing in this same way like when you're like interviewing people or doing like especially like I guess it'd be different if I was, like it's if it's different when I'm doing it over the phone, then when I'm over the like when I when I do like in when I do
like in person ship, it feels like I'm socializing. When I do it over the phone, it feels like a kind of like a different specific thing. But to answer your question, I'm actually not. I actually was extremely lonely for like a few years. I was actually streaming lonely for many years, and then recently I'm actually not lonely at all, because I mean, it's the shit that I keep talking about in the podcast about like find the community of people and like be a part of it.
So that way, you like, you know, like you have a place, like like I found a place that I can like show up at every day and there's like people there, and so I'm like truly, like ninety percent less lonely than I have been in the past.
Yeah.
But yeah, if that answers your question.
Yeah, absolutely, you know, I just I was just curious. I guess that makes sense, you know, like it's a whole different experience, especially the talking over the phone part. But well, like what about when you do like live shows, you know, do you like, oh those are does that sort of scratch the same itch in the sense of like that you know, socializing an interaction that you do with like the documentaries.
Yeah, definitely, I like being like it's anything having to do with like being in person is very different from like being over the phone, you know. Yeah, like I get a lie, I get I get a lot of energy from that. But I also like, I'm very I'm very uh, I'm very I'm extroverted in like a super particular way. Like my dream, like I love, like I my dream social scenario or truly my dream mode of existence is to be like constantly surrounded by people that I don't have to talk to. That's why I love
That's why I love New York. Like I'm constantly surrounding people I don't or like or my fam Like if I'm at a party and I'm in a my favorite social situation I've said this for a bunch of times about my favorite social situation. I'm at a party. I'm in a circle with some people I know, and enough people in the circle are talking that I don't have to fucking talk and I could just be about I'm like, I'm a part of the circle. I'm in the scene. I can talk if I want to, uh, but I
don't have to talk to anyone. Worst social situation I'm at a party talking one on one with just some guy. That's the worst. I fucking hate that. Even if they're like and the worst party, actually this makes it Even if they're like really nice and cool, that actually makes it worse. I would rather like I would I would like be if I'm at a party and I'm talking to some guy and he's a fucking asshole and he
like wants to fight. Like, that's so much better than if I'm talking to a guy and he's like a nice guy, because then I have that takes so much more energy to entertain, you know what I mean. Yeah, Like, if you're talking like if a guy's like, oh that's cool man. Also like you know, like do you like the city like or even if or even if like you know, like I like, you know what I mean, just like a nice cool guy, I fucking would I uh uh give me a give me a depressed guy.
I could talk to a depressed guy at a party one on one pretty good or like uh yeah, sure sure, or like if I'm at a or a funny guy, like if I'm talking to a guy and he starts like doing act outs you know what I mean, and he goes like, oh, I'm gonna get like you know what I mean. Like when a guy's like doing act outs, I have no I have no tolerance for that. I can't talk, like when someone I can't tolerate a jokes jokes.
I know that sounds crazy, but like, uh, like, if you're gonna try to be funny, just do it in It's like when people try to be when people try to be funny in a way where it's like if you don't laugh, it feels weird. But I like when people are being funny. Yeah, well, I like when people are funny because they're being like real, you know, like if someone.
Just laugh naturally, you know, yeah, he.
Just laugh naturally. Like if someone's like, uh uh, how do I say this? If someone's like if like if I like, if I'm not talking to a guy at a party and and I'm like, hey, man, how you doing and he's like, I feel fucked up? Man, I ate fifty pop tarts today, I'd be like, nice, that's funny, that's real. That's I thank you for sharing that with me. But if a guy, but if a guy is like, uh doing a bit where I'm like, oh, how do you know the host of the party, and he goes, oh, yeah,
me and Brian, Uh we're married. No, I'm just kidding. I'm like, dude, I don't care about your life at all.
That's pretty horrible.
Yeah, you know, like around.
Because you got to give like a half laugh.
Yeah, I hate that shit. I can't do it.
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty real.
Fuck that is a long rant. But yeah, sometimes I like I like being alone around people. I like when I'm around a lot of people, I don't have to talk to any of them. That's my dream.
I resonate with that because you still feel part of it and there's no real expectations sometimes socializing art.
Yeah, I mean I like I like it. I like the people. At my worst days, I'll be going insane in my apartment and then I'll just like talk to someone. I'll be like, oh, I just needed to. You can't tether like other people are the only real thing that you have. You're like a being of like profound conscious I mean this spiritually, but also like on a very grounded level. You're a being of deep profound consciousness. And so if you're just that like as a human, you're
a being of profound consciousness. And if you're just kind of like alone wallowing in the pool of your own profound consciousness, you are like a fucking astronaut spinning around in space. You're tethered to nothing. Your reality is that you have to peer review your reality with other beings of profound consciousness in order to prevent you from going insane with your own profound consciousness. You gotta like other
human beings are the only thing. Maybe a dog, but even a dog, it's like, I mean, a dog, a dog is a being of of of profound consciousness, you know, in comparison to like a leaf or a table or whatever.
But yeah, but They're not going to give you a reality check.
No, you know behavior, Yeah, you need a constant you need to constantly have your real your reality checked by other beings of profound consciousness or else you just fucking just go insane.
So yeah, that that you just to fi in your head. That and you just push everybody away at that point because you know, not good stuff.
What's your name again? We had a whole I had a whole separate conversation with you.
I feel now, well you talk to Jerry and I'm Barry.
Barry Barry.
Yeah.
Are you lonely?
No, you know, not really.
I've like gone through stages in my life of feeling pretty isolated and lonely. But I mean in the same way, it's kind of like just interacting with people. I mean, like you said, like like being part of the circle
is just kind of sometimes all you need. Like I like me and my partner, Like we go to the mall sometimes, and I like being at the mall, not just because like shopping, but just because there's like other people with like families, and like are someone with their partner or like someone's you know, like I like people watching.
It just makes you feel part of like the circle, you know, So just going out and like, you know, not to sting cooped up in my room has very much just sort of helped me just feel part of the circle.
Barry, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Uh?
Do you want to talk to Jerry again?
No?
I think I'm I think I'm gonna move on.
But we're here.
Okay, Well, I mean.
If they want to say if they oh wait, they had a second thing they oh wait, yeah, he'll wait. Okay, now I'm hold on. Now I'm remembering. Now I'm remembering.
Yeah, let me give you the Jerry. Here's here's here's Jerry, Jerry speaking.
Okay, you had a question for me, and then I turned that into a whole thing. But then you also had a thing you wanted to say. So what was the thing you wanted to say?
Oh?
No, no, I just wanted to say my people to the computer part?
Yeah?
Yeah, please Okay, first of all, don't litter, and second, be so nice to animals because they don't do nothing wrong here.
And third, please follow my uh in my skincare and makeup Instagram account. It is at totality of them cool.
That's that.
Yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you, Jerry, thank you. Did Barry I have anything you want to say at all? Did Barry?
Last word?
Barry?
With your mouth? With your mouth here.
Be kind swag?
Thank you Barry, thank you, Jerry, thank you. I'll see you guys around the universe.
All right.
I love you, dude.
Thanks man, See you guys, Deck Bless. Hello everyone, what's up. It's Lyle and I am going to end the podcast today by doing something I feel like I haven't done in a while, which is read a gek mail. That's where I'm going to read a gek mail. Maybe a second gek mail, but I'm gonna start with one. I don't want to I'd rather read one and see how I feel and promise two. I'm gonna keep reading one and seeing how I feel and then we'll go from there.
But yeah, gek mail, it's a thing where people send me emails with whatever they want to talk about and then we talk about it. You can send a gak mail to Therapy gecko mail at gmail dot com. Other than that, let's read some Let's read some gek mails. Okay, this is Chris uh oh. This is from Chris, it's an update update starting a bay Blade community in my city. Okay, let's see. Oh, okay, I remember the Okay, this guy emailed me. Okay, I'm gonna read his first email. Well
he heard me. He there's a few emails he said. Okay, basically, this guy sent me an email last time and he said, one of the lessons I have learned from your show is if you want something, you have to go out and get it. And this lesson pushed me to contact a local game store to see if I can organize a bay Blade tournament. And I read that email and I was stoked on it. But I remember saying, let
me know what happens. Let me know if you end up actually starting the Bayblade tournament, like you know, show we pictures what happened. So okay, this is another email. Okay, so updates starting a Bayblade community in my city. Hey, Gek. First of all, I was so happy when you read my email on the pod. I felt like one of those crazy white boys in Mad Max. I've never seen Mad Max, so I don't know what that means. But okay, anyways,
the bay Blade tournament is happening. It's fucking happening. Hell, Yes, okay, the Bayblade Tournament is happening, albeit a bit slower than I anticipated because there's a lot of elements that had to align to make it happen. Yes, all the bay Blayers very busy people to get all those schedules lined up. But yeah, the eleventh of July, my city will have its very first bay Blade X tournament. Failure or not, I will send you a follow up email to let you know how it goes. All I know is I'm
excited as hell. Wait, Chris, hold on, dude, you gotta give me a fucking.
Hell.
I'm responding to where is I want to tell the I want to tell the podcast people about it? Where's this babe aid tournament? Where is the tournament happening? Okay, I just responded to him, where is the tournament happening? I'll promote. I'll promote it on the on the fucking pod. We're gonna do fuck my tour dates. Let's I'm gonna I'm gonna change all pod promotion for efforts away from my tour dates, which you can get tickets for at
Therapy Gecko tour dot com. I'm gonna take all of my podcast promotion, my my podcast tour dates, uh, promotion away and put it all into the Babelade tournament. That's what I'm gonna do. Okay, Chris, keep me updated. You better respond to that email. Let me know where this is. Okay, all right, that felt good. I'll read another one. Let's see this is this is? This email's name is fresh Start. Hey, Gecko man, I would like to go by Churo. I don't really know if this will make it to the
gek mail segment. It did, but regardless, I would like to write this as a means of yapping slash, getting it out of my chest. I have been in the same career for the last eight years, going on nine now. I am currently twenty eight and moving up to the North. I currently live on the island of Puerto Rico, and I am moving up to Maryland soon for a new
job I got. I am kind of anxious and nervous about how well I will fit in and most of all, how I will handle the culture shock if I encounter some Oh okay, I thought he was gonna okay if he encounters some culture shock.
Okay.
I've been living in Puerto Rico for most of my life and moving to the States feels surreal, and I feel like I'm leaving behind a part of me in the Island. I've got family over in Maryland shout out Maryland, which will make them move a bit easier. But it being my first time moving on my own and taking on a new career feels like I am about to climb a mountain, one which I will reach the top of with help and support from my loved ones. Yet I have a little voice in my head that leads
me to overthink. It makes the worst case scenario possible. My question is, do you have any tips on overthinking and over analyzing anything and everything? Much appreciated, get blessed. I don't have tips, but I have a lot of experience. Maybe my experience can help you. My experience of doing that, I mean, I do it all the time. I'm a huge overthinking or I ever analyze. I you know, it's
I'm I'm really, really, really lucky. I've gotten to do a lot of shit in my life despite probably having spent like, god, you know, so much significantly, I mean, fifty one hundred times more time thinking and over analyzing shit than like doing shit. I'm just lucky. I had my little times where I got to do stuff, you know, And that's the thing I feel like I'll regret on my deathbed. I'll regret anytime I was a dick or anytime I was worried. I feel like those are the
two things I'll regret. But how do I how do I? How do you not over analyzed and overthink everything? I mean it's hard, I do it all the time, but I ultimately think that in a scenario like this, where you've been doing the same shit for eight years, you've been living in Puerto Rico for eight years, you're making a move, you feel you're making a move, and you
feel pretty confident about too. You have family over there, and you literally just said, I'm going to reach the top of it with the help and support of my loved ones. I mean, I can already tell, I can already tell that you're gonna be okay, just byter the fact that you even said that. You know the fact that you feel so confident in those relationships that they will guide you to where you want to be. So I believe in you, just based on that fact that
you believe in yourself. In this scenario particularly, I do think this is a nice move because I don't know. Man, this is just me personally. But I always want to keep I want to keep evolving, you know, when I feel like I can get I don't want to get stuck in something for so long and then by you know, I'm also twenty eight and at twenty eight, it's like your life doesn't naturally evolve that much. You have to make it evolve. You have to take different choices and
do different things to get your life to evolve. And if you just overthink, I mean, dude, you can. You can overthink shit for like years. I've experienced that, I really have. I've experienced like I was reading journals of mine, I'm like twenty twenty four, twenty twenty three, where it's like I'm talking about shit that there's some shit that I'm talking about that you know I actually have like
take an action on and done well. But there's socially I'm talking about where it's like, fuck, did I'm talking about doing? I'm talking about like, oh, I'm gonna do that like today. You know, like you can overthink and overanalyze four years and years and years and just not make a decision at the time. Just fucking passes. Not to freak people out, but I'm glad you're making a decision. I'm glad you're doing a thing, so you know, be happy.
Be happy with your decision. I think it's a good one, especially if you have that much confidence in it that your homies are going to help you out. Well, we did it, folks, we did a gek mail. I'm pretty happy with it. I'm pretty We had the guy moving from Puerto Rico, and then we had the babylay guy. We're gonna see what happens with that bab blade tournament. Go to this guy's baby blay tournament July eleventh. That's all the info I have. When I have I have
more info, I will let you all know. I promised I am on tour. If you live in Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Vancouver, or Minneapolis, I am coming to your city very soon. Let's see, I'm coming to the Pacific Northwest, like immediately, Like I'm coming there like next week. San Francisco June fourth, Portland June fifth, Seattle June sixth, Vancouver June seventh, Minneapolis June ninth, and a whole bunch of other dates. Many many other cities are available now at
therapy geckotour dot com. Uh, please go check that out. Please come see the live shows I've got I'm, I'm. They're basically the live shows are like a combination of like this podcast, where I invite people up on stage and we talk, and then also I do a lot of storytelling. So you know, I went to Iraq, I went to Ukraine. I've been living my life. I have stories about it. I'll be telling some story. It'll be fun, it'll be nice. Go check that out therapy geckotour dot
com or the link in the episode description. I also have a bonus episode this week on Patreon, Patreon dot com, slash lyle forever. You get access to every episode of this podcast add free, every episode of this podcast that is a bonus episode that is not on the main feed. And what else, Oh you get there's there's extra footage from the documentaries. There's a whole bunch of stuff on that Patreon, Patreon dot com, slash lyle forever. Here's a
little clip a bonus episode. Clip from this week's bonus episode.
I'm gonna quit my job in the next week, and I wanted your advice on how I should do it.
Okay, what's your job?
I do kind of like a like experimental testing, I would say, is what I do? So it's hazardous environment, like high energy testing.
On on animals.
No, no, oh gosh, no, nothing that's alive. I do like aerospace grade testing. But the purpose of it is anything you want to do that you shouldn't do on the Earth, you can instead do it in space because it's a little safer.
Hmm.
What is the coolest dangerous thing that you are trying to figure out how to do in space?
The highlight of my career was helping to build one of the most powerful rocket engines in the modern day and seeing it fly over and over again. That was probably the coolest thing. So everything since then it's been kind of chasing the same feeling, but not being able to find something that gets tainted, I would say, because it felt very purposeful.
Damn dude. So you build, you're building? You build a rocket?
Yes?
Yep?
Okay, and why are you quitting? That was a preview of the bonus episode. You can check that out at patreon dot com, slash Lyle forever and uh, that's about it.
Thank you.
Guys for listening.
Ghak.
Bless you all and I'll see you guys around the universe.
Bye.
Everyone goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.
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In the Memorial Life, Monday's not really an expert.