Paul from Jen.
Hello, Hi Jen, is that you? Yes?
This is Jen.
Well, Jen, it's an honor, a privilege, and an honor to talk to you. How's it gone?
Not that great?
Well? Do you want to talk about it? Or do you want to talk about something else to distract from it?
I mean, I guess I kind of want to get your input on it, to be honest. So, like, I just recently went through a breakup, and so this guy I was with for seven years actually left me for someone he says he met online that he met like in two weeks, and she actually lives in a different country on top of that, so it's kind of like hard to get over it.
Well, here's the thing. When a guy says he met a woman on the internet in a foreign country, there's I'm gonna say, realistically, I could give a funnier number, but I'm gonna give a realistic number, A tw fifteen percent chance twenty twenty twenty. All people meet each other online pretty frequently these days, twenty percent chance she's not a real person.
It's crazy because, like throughout our breakup, he kept saying that, like he's never fell in love like the one he has with her. And like all he could really think of is imagining her face and her voice while he was at work and mine to you be like, like I said, seven years together, he had a ring, he was ready to propose, we were like planning on having kids to I'm just like, what the fuck?
Oh my gosh, Well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that things didn't work out. Man, hmmm hmmm.
Yeah, It's definitely one of those things because like he told me too, that he told his parents before me that he was going to break up with me out of the blue.
He told his parents before you that he was going to break up with you. Yeah, how long ago was all this?
This was like the week of Thanksgiving on top of all that.
What have you been doing since?
Definitely still going through it emotionally because you know, obviously this is someone who I thought I was going to build a life with, and you know, he was very like emotionally abusive throughout the whole process, you know, kind of like different, completely different person from what I meant.
And so it's definitely like something you would think that you would probably be like, you know what, like I need to move on, Like this is not who I was with, But you know, when you plan a future with someone's kind of hard to forget all that.
Bro, life's fucking crazy, it really is. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. I don't know. I'm oh, I'm like it's so hard to uh, I guess, like trust people, you know, Like I don't know. I mean you should be able to, but it's hard.
Definitely, yeah, Because like it really was like someone ripping a rug from underneath you kind of scenario because it just happened out of nowhere, and like he was just like, we need a break up. I'm not in love with you, and you know, I want to break up with you before I meet the one, before I can open my heart to someone. Mind you be he's already talking to someone these last those last two weeks, well going on.
Well look here's the thing, And I know it's hard. This is a difficult perspective to tap into it at this very moment. But it's it's like these like breakups and ship they're kind of always a good thing mm hmmm, because like you know, if you're gonna if you're gonna be, if you gonna marry a fucking guy and have kids and get a house and really just you know, do a intertwine your existences and you know, with a kid and just just really fuck your lives together, you know,
like a Barbie and a Ken Doll. Right then then then it should be somebody who's who's who's sure about you?
Right?
Yeah?
And if if this guy is not sure about you, then it's I think it's a good thing that you guys. I mean, it's a it's a it's quite a relief. I think that you know, at least this happened, you know, the timing of this is a lot fucking better than
it could have been. And it could have been, you know, because you don't want to be you don't want to you don't want to have this conversation after Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family and kids house, Right, So I mean count that as a as as a good aspect of all of this, even though there's there's you know, I'm sure you're I'm sure you're in a state of turmoil. What so I I look, I know it's all fresh, but are we are we gonna? Are we gonna go
find ourselves? Of fucking European hunk? Now he's got his.
Like I obviously like I'm not like him. So like seven years. To me, it's seven years, so like I'm still madly in love even though he's freed me over.
But like on top of all this, you know, when I was trying to find this girl's number to talk to her, I ended up finding out he was talking to a dude back in August, and me and this guy started talking, and he apparently told this guy that he's been single for three years and that my car was his car, and all these stuff that I bought him, Like was apparently think he bought himself, when that's not even true. So he was trying to select at the same time, so.
He was flexing. He's a little gay and he's got an international lady.
I yeah, everyone, well, how how how old is this guy?
How is this guy?
He's twenty eight?
Okay, he's going through like a he's you know what is unfortunate. He's going through a midlife crisis. That's what people think. People think midlife crisises happened at like fifty, but no one lives to one hundred. That's ridiculous. This guy's probably gonna you know, you know a lot of people die at sixty. I don't know when this guy's gonna die. I'm not gonna say anything, but it sounds like he's going through a crazy midlife crisis or something like that.
Yeah, because everyone was telling me that, like are you sure he's not drugs or something or what is he doing? Because like it's just so weird, because like he was literally all of a sudden being a homophobe like towards the end, and so I'm thinking, like maybe he's like I can't find himself sexually, like I don't know, and like it's just such a weird scenario. Like in my head, it feels like a movie, but it's not.
You said he was being a homophobe towards the end.
Yeah, Like you know, we went to the gym and like one day and like he came coming out of the bathroom and I'm so pissed, and he was like I can't believe like all these people are doing rich in the sauna and I'm like, dude, like dropping, you don't have to look like if they're doing their stuff and go like blessing, be right.
It sounds like he was. It sounds you know, this guy is like you know what, I feel bad because I'm about to get I don't know. I don't know what I'm about to say is giving him the benefit of the doubt. But it sounds as though this guy like, ah, fuck, I don't I don't know. I don't know how confident I am about to say. But he was like he he wanted to do the thing. He wanted to stick with the plane, he wanted to stick with the plan.
But then he started having all these like gay thoughts, and he started he met this girl in Guatemala, and just life started to overtake and he tried to fight it a little bit, and that's why he was going off on these people in the sauna and shit. But but it just it, it took him in. And I don't know why all those things are happening. I don't know why he felt this crazy desire to make like, uh a left turn and and and and discuss, you know, discover things about himself that maybe he he he hadn't
dived into previously. And it's it's a fucking damn shame that you are an innocent, uh, casualty in all of it, you know. Yeah, But whatever that's for his therapy, get go call this is yours.
So it's funny too, because like I actually took this guy to confront him because he wanted closure and why he ghosted him. So we when we confronted him about it.
Wait wait wait you wait. So the guy wait wait, the guy that he was flirting with you and him got together to confront your ex.
He knew where we lived because he googled his name, so he knew where we lived. He knew the apartment number, everything. He just asked if it was cool, if he can meet up. Then I was like, sure, that's fucking nuts, man, you just that's what I'm saying. It's like a movie.
What happened when you confronted him and his wife and the guy from uh that he's cheating on her with fucking show up? What did he say?
So we showed up at his dad's house because he would not come over to the apartment anymore, and so we knocked on the door and I told him, I was like, I brought you a friend. So he like he looked all surprised, and then he pretty much told the guy like the guy didn't not want to even look at him, and he told the guy like, hey, you know what, we had cool conversations. It was all cool, but then just the thought of doing anything with you just disgusted me.
Oh he said that to the guy that he was started with.
Yeah, dude, wild right.
Well, I mean, listen back to you. What's your name again, Jen?
Jen?
Jen?
Back to you?
Jen?
When's the last time he talked to your ex?
This was on maybe like two weeks ago on Thursday, because we made plans on him taking up his stuff from storage and while my brother went with me because this is when he was having a screaming battle with me on the song about me being a psycho and
being crazy and all this stuff. Because I told his current girlfriend, now they're official, I told her, hey, like if you really know the truth about him, like these are all the things that were leading up to the breakup, and like we were still seeing each other and sleeping with each other. And she was like, hey, you know what he told me he was single. Why are you making it like my fam. I'm like, I'm not blaming you,
I'm telling you what happened towards the end. And so he got all upset and called me and started screaming at me. And then that's when he was like, I need to take my stuff out of storage, which is fine. Then he shows up to storage with cops because he wanted the engagement ring back as well. So I gated back to him, and I was just kind of like wearded out because this is a guy too who's apparently like hates the cops, but he's been calling the cops lately on me.
Crazy dude.
Yeah, And this is a guy too that says he's going through a spiritual journey because he wants to connect to God.
What is he going to, like live with this woman in her country or is she coming to the US?
I don't know. He can't afford a plane ticket to the Philippines to go see her, so I don't know what his plans are.
Well, look again, I'll say that's for that guy's therapy. Getto call what so? I mean you and you guys don't okay, And you guys don't have any kids or anything, and you never were married, so there's no divorce. Crazy crap. So okay, No, So what do you let me ask you this jen seven years? What's something you just ended? This one thing? What's something you always wanted to do but you couldn't because you had this boyfriend.
I really wanted to work in the music business, and I definitely will admit I kind of put that on the back burner because of him and his insecurities, and so like right now, like I want to try to refocus myself on that again, but it's you know, it still feels fresh and like the holidays are happening, so it just even sucks.
What were his insecurities about you working in the in the music industry?
So I had friends in bands and you know, stuff like that, So it's just as insecurities as like, you know, you're around all these guys eyes and like, you know what if they hit on you? Stuff. And I told him, like, if I wanted to be with someone like that, I could have. I have had the opportunity, but a lot of them aren't really the best boyfriend materials, and like I couldn't see myself with someone like that, but he just couldn't get over it.
M So, are you going to try to pursue something like that.
I'm in the process of continuing my career path on that, but is just you know, I'm living in a fantasy land right now where like we would get back together, even though in my mind I know it's not the best idea in the sky.
Mm hmm. I.
I look, you were with this guy for seven years. You planned a whole life with him. I understand why, And this only happens like a couple of weeks ago. It sounds so I understand while you're living in fantasyland. From my perspective and the perspective of the people listening, it's like, why would you ever want to talk to this guy again? But I'm not. I'm not. I won't be ignorant enough not to understand that, yes, you were with him for seven years and that that's going to
take a while. But I'm fairly confident that after some time you will join the side of defence that I and the people listening likely are sitting on when they when they view this relationship. Yeah, but this is exciting. I mean, I mean, okay, you want to work in the music industry? Is there anything else?
Just pretty much traveling, to be honest, because that's something I still have planned and you know we both have planned it. But like at this point, I don't want to stop just because I'm not with him anymore.
Please, please, dear God, oh my God, the best thing, the best thing you could possibly do is if you and your partner had travel plans together, don't cancel him go where'd you get? Where are you planning?
Well, I've always wanted to go to Spain, you know, Hawaii, like just places like that, like you know, adventuring, go.
To Spain, go to Hawaii. There's hot, there's hot. But I mean, jen, the hunk population of Hawaii, it's about three hundred thousands, you know, just go by yourself and and and get hunked.
Right, just see what he is? You know, Yeah, it just sucks. But you know, I don't know how people can just get over a relationship, especially.
After it's not gonna I understand. I'm just I'm I'm I. I know I'm ignorant to your your particular don't know, but you know, I think I think eventually, hopefully time will will heal the wounds, you know, time hunks hunks, he'll Yeah, But are you still are you still friends with the with the with the guy like the.
The guy he was hitting Funny, that guy just hits me up to see like if I'm in contact with my ex and if I have his number, and so I kind of just erased him off my phone because it just seemed like he's still won't isn't over whatever happened between them.
I mean I kind of think, I mean listen, I mean, Jen, call me crazy, but I think that YouTube might be needing to plan a trip to Hawaii. Now that would be tell me, that wouldn't be a movie. That's a movie right there. You that guy going to Hawaii getting hunked out. That's a movie right there that I would watch.
We're gonna have to figure out the script.
That's a Jett Appatow movie. You you're Leslie Man, who's the guy whatever? Who cares? Anyway? Well, Jen, how do you how do you? How do you feel?
How do I what?
How do you feel?
I feel great after this conversation. I mean, like I definitely you know, needed to let it out because it's funny because he actually introduced me to you to like your podcasts.
Okay, Well, I hope that when you think of this part, I hope that now that you have been introduced and he's in the Philippines and he's listening to, you know, other crazy podcasts, I hope I hope that you can associate this podcast yourself with it not being associated with him, so that you can keep listening and maybe buy a T shirt from my merch store at therapy Gecko dot com at some point.
Oh for sure, that's on my Christmas list.
Jane, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I mean, thanks for all your guys' advice, for sure, because I definitely need it.
All right, take care, Jen.
Awesome, Thank you, hunk City All from.
My name is Omar?
Hello?
Hello?
Is this Omar?
What's up?
Omar? What's going on?
Just ship getting high? Playing City star lives, making like little people move around the only.
Screen you're playing?
What that game is? Like? Fucking sim City and just like make cities sounds. It's sucking sick.
You're getting high and playing SimCity?
Hell? Yeah?
Wow? What made you want to interrupt such a beautiful life experience just to call me?
I don't know. I wanted to hear what you have to say about life. You seem pretty wise, but someone I.
Want to hear what I have to say about life? What do I have to say about life? Sometimes I I wonder sometimes I'm I've been going back, you know, I've been think about a lot, but going back and forth about whether life is easy or hard? Oh yeah, yeah, Because sometimes I'm like, wait, this is this is easy, and then other times I'm like, wait, this is really hard.
Did you get born into an easy life or a hard life?
You say, born into an easy life or a hard life?
Did you did you?
Which one did you get? Say? Where are you from?
I'm from London.
Oh okay, that's why your phone is a little shitty and your accent is a little shitty too, so I can sort of only barely understand what you're saying.
That's fair enough. I'll try and articulate a little bit harder.
Mm hmm. Okay, So what did you just say?
Did you get an easy life or a hard one? Which one did you get born into?
It's fun to make fun of British people because you know they're also just white, all right? So oh fuck?
Sorry did you get did you get an easy life or did you get a hard one? Which one did you get born into? It?
Born into?
Oh?
I mean fu comparatively easy? God damn. I mean it depends on it depends on uh uh, your perspective, because I mean all my I mean, because look, here's the thing. I think the right the bar for an easy life to me in consideration to all of the lives that are out there, is like if if you're born into a life where, like, you know, your parents don't beat the shit out of you, and you can eat food and drink water, that's pretty good. I don't know if it's necessarily easy, but it's just pretty good.
You know. Yeah, it's pretty sweet.
What about you? What do you think?
Yeah? I hell, yeah, dude, I'm privileged out. I got a three life. I grew up in Asia now I live in London. I'm living it up, living that dream.
Where are you from? Where in Asia are you from?
No? I grew up in Singapore.
Oh I've heard of Singapore. Singapore is? Singapore is kind of rich, isn't it.
Yeah, it's pretty cool when you're under eighteen, it's pretty cool.
Why is it cool when you're under eighteen but not cool when you're over.
Eighteen Cause you can have like a fun sheltered time now, like you can go like cringe clubbing and shait. But when you grow up and you want to like do some cool shit like my weed and stuff, you can't do any of that.
I'm sorry. So you just said, yeah, living in Singapore as a minor is cool because you can go to the club, but then once you turn eighteen you're not allowed to smoke weed.
Well, yeah, you grow up and you want to do coolest stuff because you realize club is really lame. But you can't do cooler stuff. You can't say weed, you can't do drugs. You got to like live that cookie cut of corporate lifestyle.
Why were you you were clubbing? How old were you when you were clubbing?
You can go clubbing when you're like thirteen fourteen there because you're like expat so you like get into places easier.
Really wait, so are you like so you're telling me there are clubs where there's like thirty five year olds hanging out with thirteen year olds.
Bro, yeah percent, and like what's even with it? At the time, it is like you think it's normal that they're just like partying with you, getting new drinks, and then you grow up and you'reze, how cringe that is that this like dude who's like thirty is just like hanging out with eighteen year olds? Thinking as cool as fuck? When you liked makes oup where to go in high school?
Goddamn? So how old were you? How old were you when you left Singapore?
I think I left when I was seventeen.
Okay, do you ever go back?
Yeah? I used to go back when my parents said there, but I don't go back anymore.
Do you still club Where are you now? Are you in London? Are in London?
No? No? No, not really. I get a gig, but I don't go clubbing. I'm older now, I'm like thirty, so it's like a bit, you know, more chilling.
What do you do with your life? Omar?
I'm a YouTuber?
Are a YouTuber? Are you?
Are you?
A YouTube? Has gotten so niche and so I feel like you're You're a niche YouTube? You you're a weed and sim City YouTuber those that's your nie?
No? No, no, no, Like.
You did a review on specifically the best strains to smoke while playing SimCity, that's your No.
I wish I wish that was myself.
That's hey sports, Just so you know, if you want, you can have that.
It's hard to here, dude. It's illegal here. It's illegal and I think I'll get demonetized if I do that.
Really? Is we weeds?
Not?
Is we legal in London?
No? Everyone smokes weed, but it's all see.
You're saying you're breaking the law right now?
I mean, are you breaking a little fatually? If you say weeds O? You're in Canada?
Why do you think I was? I'm not in Canaday? Do you think I was in?
Oh? I don't know, that's what You're in? Galla? Who are you?
I'm oh? Mar? I got a question? Is there? And it's okay if not. I'm enjoying talking to you. We can talk about all kinds of things. But is there a particular thing you wanted to talk about on the phone.
I don't know, man, There's a few things going on, but I don't know if I want to talk about them online. You know. What I've been playing with though recently, is like when you realize that you know nothing really means anything, it's kind of hard to get psyched to do anything. Like like I get that, like you know, the end game is that you're just enjoying every moment as it comes, because that's really all you get. You don't get the future,
you don't get the past. You just get now, right, But like, I don't know, when you do that forever, it feels reckless and you're like, damn, in like ten years time, I'm gonna fucked up because all I was doing it's focusing on the present.
Is your version of focusing on the present getting high and playing sim City?
No, not all the time?
What's your version of focusing on the present?
I guess heating isthing like I don't know, like going out to dinner, going to the pub, getting fucked up? All right, shit like that.
So you're thirty, right, yeah, do you feel like you fucked up your future?
No? But I'm worried that I'll get there and it'll be too late. You know, you'll figure that out.
Okay, what are you doing here?
All right?
What do you I mean, what do you like? Give me some specifics. What do you think you fucked up?
Well, it's just like, okay, so I'm a YouTube I aren't like pretty decent money, but it's like, you know, same and popularity that they're not solid things. But all my other thirty year old friends they have legit jobs there. They're like fucking some of them bankers. They I mean, they have a ship time, but they're earning ships on
the cash. They're locked in for like a future that will last for ages, And it's just that security looks so sweet, but it's like the price you place that is very high, and it's just like, am I making the right choice for not doing that? Well?
Omar, I have good news. If you want to talk about fake jobs, you've come to the right professional Geko.
Good point. What do you think about the future? Like, how are you? How do you are you? Are you worried about these things?
Dude? If you want to know my real answer on this, I just like am thinking, I've thought about a few things. I'm like, you know, I'm just right now. I'm just like I do like and I'm gonna get practical with you right now. I'm just like, Okay, let me like save as much money as possible so that, yeah, you know, I can like have a nice cushion before I, you know, ever have to get a real job if I ever do. But and I think about that a lot. I think
about the future. I think about like, oh man, when am I gonna you know, I I because you know, right, we're in the same but I have no security in what I do really but h and you know, and again, bruh, I think about this every single day. I'm like, I'm like, you know, I'm I'm twenty I'm almost I'm twenty six next week, and I'm like, what the fuck am I going to be doing when I'm like forty? You know, am I still gonna be imagine?
Like, you know, I be squashed? You have the classic YouTube is ship. I can't imagine being like a fifty year old dude being like yo, I can send off a squaes click my link, Like, I just can't imagine doing that, right.
I Mean, here's the thing, though, is I will you you you have to understand that certain things are outside of your control. So for me, I'm like, all right, well, how hard I work is in my control. So that's why you know, I again post clips for my to promote the podcast, and I work really hard to make sure that the show is good, and I work as hard as I can to be the best Gecko as I can. And uh, outside of that, I mean, none
of this shit is really in my control. All the people listening could be like, hey, you know what, this is fucking stupid and turn it off, and you know, then I, you know, have to go. But I don't know, I don't know. I mean I've I've talked when I talk to my friends and family about this kind of thing. They always tell me that I'll figure it out, and I've started to try to want to believe them that,
you know, I have. I feel a certain sense of confidence and security and my own brain and my own skills and my own experience that you know, I'll be okay regardless of what happens to the sure I'll figure
it out. And you know whatever, I mean, if it's just if it's purely a money thing, I mean, there's a thousand different ways to make money in the in the world, So you know, I'm sure I'll figure out uh something, But for now, I'm almost I'm like, you know, there's a there's you guys are balancing actor, right, because the more I stress out about the future and the more I wonder what the hell I'm gonna be doing when I'm thirty seven, the less I'm focused on doing
what on what I'm going to be doing when I am right now alive? You know, So I'm like robbing from Yeah, I'm like, I'm robbing from my present geckoss to think about, you know, how I'm gonna afford to eat food when I'm you know, forty five. So uh, you know, I I don't know. I don't. I think about this stuff all the time. I mean, what do you think?
I mean? I thinking about it all the time too. It's like, to be honest, I'm just we like. It also starts to play back to this thing where like you know, people like, oh you have on your own is your memories? Because I don't even like really know if my memory is even legit?
Do you do?
You know what I mean, You're like you trying to recall something? You know? Am I even remembering that? Is this just like some boss? It's like right where else I going at that point, because it's like, you know, when you're living in the now, you're trying to create create memories for later, so you like have a really good life in your head. But it's like I don't really remember those things. So it's like I'm living for the now, but the now it's literally just as my bleeding.
So it's like, really weird, A is there any reason why I'm putting happy into this? Now? I've kind of lost my point. But basically it's fucking complicated and I can't figure it out.
Mm hmm. So I mean, well here's here, there's another aspect of all this stuff that I was thinking about. And I don't know if this is true. I don't know if I agree with this, but it's a thought that I've explored in my head, which is that kind of bro in general, security is like kind of a myth. I don't know if I agree with that, but but I do. I do think about it. I mean, think
about the pandemic. Right, like a bunch of people who like had you know, quote, real stable jobs just got fucking fired, you know, and you know, layoffs happen all the time. People get with real secure jobs get fucking fired. And hey, besides even that, people get people who are in like good health have fucking brain aneurysms and die when they're fifty. And people get into car accidents and die when they're thirty, even though they had security and
they had good health and this and that. So so I mean security, it's like you can you can get pretty short that everything's gonna be okay, but that's that's like the best you could never you could never be one hundred percent sure that everything's gonna be okay. You is never unless if you like, stayed inside your room and eight lettuce and did push ups and never left
and anything. But you can't live like that. And even if you did look like that, you'd only get to like, you know, ninety percent sure that everything's gonna be okay. But even but that version of life is not things being okay. So I you know, security does feel like a myth in that way. You can never be one
hundred percent sure that everything's gonna be okay. And so to that point, I kind of surrender thinking about it, you know what I mean, Like if I if I'm never gonna be one hundred percent sure that everything's gonna be okay, then why the what's the fucking point of worrying about if things are gonna be okay?
You know, se man, you just you know, you just like let go with the flow. But that's not an active mentality you have to maintain like it's norse. It's not passive, you know.
Yeah, of course no I'm talking about I'm talking a bunch of ship to you right now. But you know, after the stream is over, I'm gonna be like, what's my YouTube revenue for this for this uh month? And how am I.
Gonna bro I I I created a straight up. It was like driving me instead, right, right right.
Yeah, huh, Well what am I allowed to ask you what your YouTube channel is? Or are you trying to remain anonymous?
Yeah, it's bouldering.
What dude, what did you just say?
Yeah, bouldering just such, boba, you'll find us rock.
Climbing, bouldering, bullbark.
The b o b a t.
B o b a t oh bulbering, Man, you got you got it bro bulbering, bulbart.
Just talking in complete, You'll be fine.
All right, Well, it's nice talking me.
Man.
I feel like I don't have all that many people who I know that do actually know I have a good you know, I wish I could talk to I wish I had more people to talk to about having a fake funny job.
Yeah, me too. Man. It's like it's it's leading. Everyone's all serious, and it's like, can someone else, Like my parents have no idea what I did. Your parents know what you do?
Oh yeah, yeah, but like they understand it to fine understand.
Like your fucking parents fully understand how he dressed them as a gecko because of the casting your back down.
My parents understand that I dress up as a gecko and talk to people on the phone and uh do tours and make videos and stuff. Fad Ugh, my dad used to be in the chat, but I don't think he's in the chat anymore. Wait, there's a couple. There's like a dude and the wait, there's a dude in my chat right now who says he watches you?
Oh? Hell yeah, what's up?
That's cool? How many subs do you have?
Like?
Now that's sick?
Man?
Are you happy? Are you still?
We're kind of like, you know, what're like on the you know, when your channel was like peaking before. We're on like the down end of our peak. But that's okay. We we opened the gym in real life.
Open you opened the gym.
In real life? Yeah, because we didn't want to run on YouTube, so we were like we need to make something brick and mortar. So we we opened the gym in London.
Yeah, that's see, that's something I want to do. I want to I want to diversify my life, you know, like, uh yeah, I love I love doing the podcast and the podcast is sick, but I'm like, oh what else could I also I'm thinking about that, I'm like, what could I do in real life? That's like, you know, it.
Keeps like the It keeps like the creativity fresh as well. Doing ship in different aspects that all that kind of related. It like helps you just get ship coming out of your mind.
That's how I feel like. Ah what oh he hung up? Well that sucks. Well wow, that's a real bummer way to end that call. Hold on, let me see if I can get him back. No, I don't think I can. But that's okay. We were on the We were on the much as he much as he said we we we had peaked much as he said he had peaked in his channel. I think we had peaked in that call. That was a good call. Shout out to what's his name again, Bobert, Bouldering Bobert. Shout out to Bouldering Bobert.
That's good talking to you. Let's collab. Should we do a collab? But what did he say he what kind of stuff did he say he makes? I'll go to his gym, That's what we'll do, Bobering Bobert. If you hear this, I'll go to your gym in London and we'll make a video. Maybe depends on how strenuous you want the activity to be. All right, thanks for calling, Bobert.
Hey folks, it's Lyle. So we have reached the end of the phone call portion of this podcast because I wanted to end with an excerpt from this video that I just put out on my YouTube channel today, So to give some context, I was in Australia on tour over the summer and one day I went to the beach in my gecko suit and I filmed a video just running around talking to various strangers on the peer of this beach in the same freeform way that I
talked to callers on this podcast, and the conversation that you're about to hear now is probably my favorite one from that day. So I had already been filming for like four hours. It was nighttime. I was done. I put my camera away and I was just walking around and this dude on the docks starts asking me why I am walking along the water in a frog costume, which is a good question, and we started talking and he told me he's taking a walk to clear his mind.
So I asked him what he's trying to clear his mind from, and we just got into this very open, honest conversation as two complete total strangers on a pier at night and it was really cool, so I wanted to share it on here. So let us transport to the docks of Saint Kilda Beach in Melbourne, Australia to talk to a stranger. I walk around as a gecko and I just try to I'm like going on little adventures, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah? And then what people lock your adventures?
Yeah?
I guess sometimes.
Man.
What's your name? Man, Nice to meet you, Tim. What what brings you out to the docks this evening?
Oh?
Why wouldn't you be out here?
Look, it's beautiful, It is beautiful. So you were saying to me before I turned this on that you were just going on a walk to like clear your head and stuff.
Of course, what.
Kind of stuff do you or you can't think of?
Experience anxiety while you walk? Yeah, there's a little known staff and I've got a big footy game.
My team's playing tonight, so I've want to try and relax before that.
What's been like stress?
And yeah, I've.
Been working up in Broken Hill for three months and then I came back and worked three days this week after a ten hour drive. And now that's over. Relationship over, moved back in my house. Yeah, it's a change, So you need.
To what what you what were you working at?
What were you doing?
I was a medical advisor on a medical TV show.
Oh really, So now that that's over, what's uh what do you think you're going to do now?
That's why I'm out here?
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. And you said there was there was a relationship. What how long were you guys together for a nice man? What do you think you're going to like go out on the dating scene again or are you going to wait a little bit?
Uh?
Oh, I definitely had a bit of time for the dust as hittle. Yeah, and then and then see what's out there?
What do you think makes like a good relationship?
It's a good question.
Used to always just be raw attraction was the most important thing. But but then if you've got that but no great human qualities, something to admire, yeah, something to bring your joy, yeah, and a good sense of humor, then you don't have much.
It's hard because raw traction, it can, it brings, it brings the two people together, but it doesn't glue them. Do you think there was something that you learned from it at all?
The recent finish one?
Yeah, just to.
If something's not right, then then acknowledge it and talk about it.
I guess not.
Not just internalizing everything and then because it won't it won't go away. You need to You need to find a way to express yourself and be receptive to the other person's perspective. And then if both of those things happen, you might be able to work it out but and make that relationship work. But you also might quickly be able to finish it and end it and then find something with someone else that does have that missing ingredient.
That was troubling you with the last person.
Are you Are you good at like being alone?
I'm pretty comfortable, but I think I'm ready not to.
Be fifty of like a good good friends and family and stuff. Yeah.
Yeah, although all my friends and family are sort of more involved with their own families.
At this stage in life, so it's there's you know, there's a few out there, but it's not like it was when we're teens and twenties and everyone's in the same.
Boat, right right. Do you do you do you have kids or do you want you?
Yeah?
Yeah?
Do you do you keep in touch with like your your parents or your parents still around?
Yeah?
Yeah, I'm talking to them ballet with them tomorrow.
Oh that's cool, man, that's nice.
You have my birthday dinner on Sunday.
Oh your birthday is this weekend. Have a birthday man, Thank you.
Well.
How do you like when you how do you feel about your birthday? Like?
Is it?
Is it a happy occasion or is it like a time for reflection?
Okay, so it's a bit of both. Definitely the latter. And that's what again while I'm here, Yeah, I didn't mention it early, but.
It's yeah, I guess you've there's got to be a time in the year when you take stock and like everyone does it a bit at Christmas or whatever, but it's a more personal stock taking moment when it's your birthday, I think, And particularly as you get a bit older, it's in and you're closer to the end and the start, you become more cognizant of all the of what's important and time and who you are and where you're going.
Do you do you feel like the ride so far? Has it? Has it been a good Has it been a good.
Ride so far?
Definitely? And I don't want to let the poll of recent events sort of sour o the so my view of the forty three almost forty three years.
To now.
But I've been very lucky and I should be very grateful.
What what do you feel like has been the best part of the raid so far? Like the stuff you're the most grateful for?
Mm hmm.
It's a good question.
I mean, I've had some amazing people in my life, and I've just had a lot of opportunities to do things too, to study things, to to play sports and music and express myself artistically, and.
Those moments which you.
Don't get a lot and you realize as life goes on, you know, it's just not going to keep happening. But I've had a lot of those and there will be more. Sometimes you just got to make it happen a bit more. And I guess I'm reflecting on that. How do you make things happen? And when do you let things happen?
Mm hmmm. Do you do you feel as though with every passing year, like things happen naturally a little bit us and there's a little bit more of a kick to have to make them happen.
Yeah, Yeah, it's definitely the wheels turn And I guess as if you get a bit creakier and older. You have to make them turn.
As the years go by, they don't just it's less downhill skiing, more cross country?
Does any Does anything get better as the years go by? Like what anything particular you notice is getting better?
Uh?
There is something about experience and wisdom that means you can.
Enjoy things from outside a bit more, Like you can look at a situation and appreciate it.
Without being caught up in it as much.
Right, because you've been because because you feel like you've been there before.
Yeah, you've been there. You've got some conspection.
Yeah, and.
Sometimes that's yeah, is a bit of a shadow.
But I think with that knowledge and awareness, there's some satisfaction and you can't you just don't. You don't get that from when you're there, you're coming up, you're doing it for the first time.
Right, there's a little bit more emotion and raw anxiety because it's it's new.
And then then maybe there's more adrenaline there too, but.
Yeah, sure, yeah, more adrenaline, but that's not everything.
And as you get older and you know, windows close, well, there's more closed windows and open windows. Sometimes it's good because you sort of accept that you're not going to be able to do everything in this life, and that acceptance has some.
Well when you when you resign to that fact, there's some pace.
I think so too, because like there's this there's a weird stress to like want to fucking do everything that there is to do, and then if you're not doing it, you're like you're beating yourself up about it. But then as you get as you kind of realize just you're not gonna be able to there's an acceptance and with that acceptance, that anxiety, that beating yourself up about not fucking doing everything, ever, it goes away a little bit.
It's kind of this kind of kind of nice because you know, I don't know, I don't know if you have to do everything. Sometimes just standing looking at cool buildings is like that's it. You know, it's good enough. What do you what do you you're talking about, like stuff you want to make happen? What is what is it that you want to make happen?
Well, you've got to make a family happen. You go to you've got to make a career happen.
You've got to.
You know, I sort of move from dance for to dance floor rather than stay in the same venue and make that my permanent fixture. So I've got to find a place and stays my It's the thing I've.
Got to make happen.
How long have you been on this dance floor.
For I've been back from another dance floor for a week, not quite a week. And now I'm gonna go overseas and that'll be another dance floor.
Oh where are you gonna go? London, Portugal and Spain.
Sick, what are you doing there?
My friend's fortieth Oh cool.
Man and.
Her twin sister and yeah, just get out of the cold.
Yeah, so you're still good. You're going on a venture as you're making that's cool man.
Yeah, and and and that's great.
But I also look forward to, you know, something that a lot of my friends have, which is security and stability and all the things I often think of boring, but there they also have.
I was just talking to somebody over there about that whole conflict between stability and adventure. You know, I feel like it's it's a prevalent thing because because it also I feel like it ties into all the stuff we've been talking because it's like, you want to be able to do everything and that's like unstable but fun. And then there's kind of that acceptance. But with that acceptance comes a little bit more stability and security. I think, Yeah, that's nice. Man.
We we've lost out a lot here, but I have enjoyed talking to you.
I've enjoyed talking to mess to me, to Tim. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer.
Oh, how long? People of the computer.
I wish you well in your adventure and finding your inner peace and out of pace and being happy along the road to that.
I have regress to the night, nice contemplative conversation to have under the beautiful lights of Melbourne, Australia. Good times, good day, late to beach. Hey, it's me again. If you guys enjoyed that conversation, then please go check out the full video on my YouTube channel YouTube dot com slash lyle forever. I'll also link the video in the episode description of this podcast. Doing these kinds of travel videos is something I want to do a lot more
of in twenty twenty four. So your support in watching them and listening to them and liking them and all that stuff helps me out a lot, because it's it's the main direction that I want to go to, uh, you know, moving forward is doing a lot more talking to people in various real life places. So definitely check out the video if you want more of that, and there's also a lot more videos like that on my
YouTube channel YouTube dot com slash lyle forever. All right, anyway, thank you for listening to this podcast, and go kiss a lion on the paw. It's an expression.
Really goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.
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