Hello.
Hey, what's your name?
My name is Mason Mason. What's up, Mason, Yes, sir, H nothing much, man, I'm a long time listener, first time caller. Uh found your found your stream twenty twenty two. I remember, I remember exactly where I found the stream, but uh, it's not what I'm calling calling to talk to you about.
Wait, but I'm kind of curing us because if you remember something exactly, it must be interesting. Tell me more so.
I work. I work at a theme park, and I was doing haunt repair work in one of our haunts, and uh, I saw you on Instagram a couple times, and uh, and then I finally tuned into the podcast and I listened to your podcasts every day for like eight hour, my entire work day, for for about a week. And uh, I'm I'm all caught up on all previous uh episodes you post said since then? Which is I'm really married to the game.
Yeah, no shit, no shit, that's really crazy to me. That's that's I mean, that's a significant How many episodes of this thing are there?
Like three, I.
Don't even know, but you've been I mean that's a significant amount of Uh, that's probably a significant amount of the words that I have said in the past five years of my life, right, I mean think I'm thinking about it, right, Like, if you like, in a twenty four hour day, what percentage of the words let's say okay in a week? Right, I put out two of these podcasts a week in one week, what percentage of the words that I say are recorded and put online
as a podcast. I hope it's not a large percentage. I hope I'm socializing enough that it's not a large percentage, But it's a percentage. It's a you've heard a large percentage of the recording words that I have or I not I not even requd you've heard a large percentage of the total words that I have spoken aloud in the last five years. I hope that's absolutely that would mean that would mean, that would mean that that I've just been silent in thinking.
You know, well, I live vi curiously through your words, and I really I really love the issues that that you talk about on your podcast with your with the viewers and the callers. I mean, I really I really kind of take your therapy for for gospel in a way, but I mean just just living living through other people's world experiences is enough for me to tune into the podcast every day.
So good, I hope. So I hope that that's here because I don't I I hope. I hope you're not taking anything I say as gospel. I hope you know. Here's what I'll say this, here's what I I hope you're not taking anything I say as gospel. But if I think, if I'm I think if the point of this, or if one of the points of this is that people are gathering perspectives on the world based on other
people's lived experience. If if my own lived experience is chucked in there, I don't mind, but you probably shouldn't take anything I say. Is I try not to take anything I say is gospel or at.
Least Oh dude, it's the best man.
Well, I thank you. I appreciate that. I'm trying to take my own words. You know, I'm trying to trying to live better. I'm trying to I don't know, I got to get a handle on my brain.
But we're gonna say, we're all trying to be the best version of ourselves. Man, And that's that's kind of what I'm calling to talk about.
Please me talk about you finely.
I'm trying to finally become the best version of myself. Okay, So so June twenty second, so that's exactly a month ago from today. I had I had a stint of what what I was diagnosed with was acute mania, So I kind of I kind of had this god complex. Everything felt larger than life. I had hyperactivity in my brain. So the past four, I guess the past month, I've been actively coming down from that, and it was a very eye opening experience for me. It kind of changed
the way I think and changed my entire worldview. So I'm calling to see if I can get any advice from you on how to navigate this, this this new perspective and this new journey I'm kind of undergoing here.
Well, before we launch into any kind of advice, if you want to talk about it, tell me more. What did that experience look like?
Well, so since then, I've been I've been talking to a psycho biatrist. My my parents started to think that I was bipolar. My my psychiatrist completely disagrees, but I the experience looked like I took three visits to the e R, which is more than I had ever gone in my entire life. In one week, I had three visits to the e R to kind of talk me down from this this heightened manic state that I was in. I do think it was kind of like a weed induced psychosis. I mean, this, this is just this is
just an idiot doing research online. AI has been a big tool for helping me navigate this. I know I shouldn't be so reliant on AI, but I'm.
Right.
So, I mean, it's it's very interesting, man. They they got my parents insisted on medicating me. I'd never been on any form of medication before I had direct symptoms of the medication, so I was I was taken off the medication and my parents I still live with them. I'm twenty one. I I can't really move out in this economy.
Oh br I mean before before before we do anything, before we do anything, I mean twenty one. I want to hear the rest of your story. But twenty one is a perfectly acceptable age to be living with your parents, So you know, don't don't freak out about that. And it's also not I mean, it's a fucking it's an amazing gift that you your parents are still heavily involved in your life and care about you enough to be,
you know, going through this with you. So I hope, you know, I hope you're feeling that love.
Absolutely, it's it's unconditional love, but it is almost overbearing to an extent because I still feel like I'm trying to navigate the bounds that come with manhood and trying to find my independence as a man. I mean, I've I've had the same job for seven years. I'm only twenty. I started when I was fourteen, and I thought this would be my life's calling and I could I could work the rat race and work the nine to five
job my entire life. I'm I'm slowly coming to terms with that in this new state of mind, that I might go crazy if if I if I end up working the same job my entire life. But my parents have been trying to instill this foundation onto me that I need to work to make money. But watching you for the last three years has been really inspirational that you can find your voice online and you can find you can find other means to make money that's not being stuck in the nine to five job.
Okay, yeah, my job, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
I mean my job, it's very creative. I'm currently at work now. I do a lot of special effects and prop making and seen c work scence. He's a wood router. I'm actually in the wood routing room right now. I got a couple of projects to get done, but I thought this would be a more beneficial way to spend my time on the clock.
So you've been so wait aute, you're twenty one. You've been in the special effects industry since you were fourteen?
No, no, no. I started operating rides and I became a rides trainer, a ride supervisor, then moved over to special effects right out of high school, and I've I hadn't touched a hand drill or anything since then. A little quick backstory. I grew up in a STEM academy from kindergarten through sixth grade, so I always had this creative, uh aspect of me that's kind of been untapped up until now. Because now I can finally express my creative outlet in a way that I reap the benefits from
the park that I work at. Also reached the benefits from so I'm very savvy when it comes to like three D modeling. We do a lot of three D printing at our at our work. But I mean, I'm I'm self taught. I've used AI and YouTube to help me out with a lot of these things. But I feel like there's a passion that lives so deep within me,
and I'm trying to explore this, this passion. I have a lot of guest service experience, I mean, essentially growing up at this theme park, so I know how to talk to people and I know how to put on a stage face. But I'm trying. I'm trying to I'm trying to see how I can apply this in my in my real life to to kind of I don't know if it breaks free from the rat race, I guess.
I mean, I've I started voice journaling, so I do have a voice journal journal on on my phone, and then I can I can take the transcript of that voice memo, putting it, put it into AI, and AI helps me complete like unformed thoughts that I that I had mentioned in the voice journal, it helps me organize. Uh. It's basically written journaling, but in utilizing modern day technology to help me explore what I want to really do with my life, kind of back to my parents, I
I'm still living under their household. I have a wonderful safety net that they've they've helped build for me. I mean, I like this. I think I've been pretty calledled my entire life and don't have the real world experience that I envy. Four But I I've essentially lived paycheck to paycheck because I put all of my money in cryptocurrency. I know you would advise that I shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket, as my parents have been telling me, but I've I put seven thousand in there.
My portfolio is currently up to fifty thousand, some pretty exponential games in the last year and a half. But I Dave Ramsey would be the person I would talk to you about this cryptocurrency, right.
I have lots well, I have, I have lots of thoughts. Okay, Well, Also, by the way, listen, I'm gonna be honest with you, is I've also I also feel as though I've been relatively coddled for my entire life. I mean, I grew up in you know, so I grew up you know, with a in a house in the suburbs, and my parents, you know, they pay for me to go to college. And they let me live there for you know, fucking live in the house until I was twenty two twenty three, so I was able to save and do all the scrap.
And I also felt like I was like, oh crap, I'm I have no uh semblance of the real world whatsoever, you know. But I also but I also have the belief that like, uh, listen, if you can use that too,
I mean, don't you. I I think if you can use that position to you know, enrich your life, and they're bot from enriching your life, you kind of there's a there's a bit of I would call I would call it trickle down enrichmond when you you know, use it to do do do you know, as like a starting launching platform to do something that's worthwhile for your life. Uh you know, I think that benefits uh, you know, the people around you who care about you.
Two.
So uh oh, there's a bunch of other things. I was going to say, Oh, crypto, I don't know, man, don't I don't have I don't I mean, I don't. I don't have any crypto. I'm not a crypto guy.
Oh you're missing out, man, And utility coins. Look into ISO twenty twenty two, compliance try to invest in US made cryptocurrencies, something with utility, because it seems like that's where our financial system is headed. So, I mean, for the last three years, I've kind of been preaching the gospel when it comes to cryptocurrency, and that's just that's the way the world is heading.
Yeah, well, I'm okay again. A lot of things, a lot of things.
Again. I could talk all day about cryptocurrency. I've done. I've done three years of research onto this. Finance in high school is always what I was most passionate about.
Sure, and I actually and I actually, I actually, I think it's a good thing because it's true, you need money to exist, right and if you're lucky unfortunately, yes, you need money to exist, and if you're lucky, you can figure out a way to make it that doesn't take up too much of your time so that you can go and do the things that you actually want to do. Crypto, I'm not. I don't know anyth about crypto. I don't really don't. I don't want to talk about
it only because I don't know about it. But I think it's okay to I. I also when I was you know, when I was twenty one, I had a lot of separate parts of my brain where I was like, I kind of separated my brain into like three or four categories where I was like, Okay, I need to figure out something I can do to make money, and then I need to figure out something I can do to that is like makes art, and I need to figure out something I can do that gets me around people,
and I need to focus on and I need to make sure I get the money thing down, pat, because then it'll help me out with the art thing and the being around the people thing.
So you are genuinely thriving, then I have all of those, all of those four checkbox ticked.
I got the age of seven.
Man, It's true.
I got well, I got you know, I got a little lucky. Uh.
COVID was a huge benefactor to that. Dude. Yeah, I remember going on Reddit and and and seeing seeing that you wanted to start this thing and then call this line. I mean your story is is very uh and I mean your business model, I guess too, you could say is very inspirational too. I mean just just your everyday listener. I really enjoyed that. Uh. It was her name Ava that British woman you had on I just got done listening to that part.
Oh yeah, great, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that.
Was That was a great conversation man, And it's really cool to hear from your I mean, I don't want to say older, but you're more more wise audience numbers,
I agree. I mean, it's just it's just the way you break down those those calls is is very beneficial to me when I'm trying to experience the world vicariously through I mean, I guess your callers, right, because so that seems like the best way I can I can pick up on on my flaws, other people's flaws, and again kind of tying back to the beginning of the conversation, being the best version of ourselves.
Right, I appreciate that. I want to get back into your life for a second. And by the way, just so you know, I'm just and you've heard every episode of my show, so I guess, I'm I guess, I'm only I guess I'm just saying this to myself. But obviously you know I'm not a real therapist and work, but I'm interested. But You've brought up a lot of topics as we've been talking that I have personal interests in, so I'm happy to just like chat with you about them. So you brought up a lot of things that I
want to get into. I'm trying to keep a note of all of them. I'm going to rattle off the ones. I remember you talked about masculinity navigating that. Is that correct? Okay? You were talking about mania and just general mental health stuff, and then talking about talking about like trying to find what you actually want to do with your life, your relationship with your parents. I'm down to get into all that stuff. Let's talk about Let's talk about the masculinity thing.
Where you where are you at with that? What are the thoughts with that? What's right? Made you bring that up?
So there's a couple of things that that that it sparked me to just say that. But my my state of acute mania really made it clear to me that I am a man that is I'm going to quote Paul McCartney here, Uh, maybe I'm a man that's in the middle of something that he doesn't really understand. That's
from a song. Maybe I'm amazed, And I mean that that really resonates with me because we're all just men and women and children trying to navigate this this world for the first time, and how we how we respond to our adversities and and things that things that really bog us down and distract us from I mean, I'm not very religious, but God's plan, I mean I think there's a plan, there's a there's a path that all of us are destined to be on. And I mean, so, yeah,
I know. I mentioned the man because my parents think of me lesser as a man because of the way that I've been responding to this adversity in my life. I mean, this last four weeks has been pretty hellish for my parents because they've seen me. They've seen me in a heightened state that they're not used to. So every time I come home, my mom kind of just says she wants her son back, and the son that
she once knew as her roommates. I mean, I've been their essential, essentially their roommate for the last three years since I turned eighteen and got my full time job out of high school. They uh, they want that relationship back. I think myself as lesser of a man then, because I was addicted to poorn, I was addicted to my phone, I was addicted to h to marijuana, all these these crutches in my life that have have negatively, uh negatively been impacting me. Uh, I've break, I've breaken free from
from from those things. I'm finally getting back in the gym. I'm finally becoming the version of myself that I want to be. So when I come home and my parents think I'm lesser of a man because they don't recognize this new me anymore, it's it's kind of disheartening.
So Okay, you don't have to get into it if you don't want to. But you you described kind of at the beginning of this some like manic episode where you thought that you were God? What what was.
That it was? It was, I mean a cute mania. I mean I just have have kind of I've done a little bit of research, but what from my psychiatrist has told me I had a God complex where where I uh, man, it's a little it's still hard for me to process this because it was it was riddled by insomnia, it was riddled by my excessive marijuana usage. There was a lot of there was a lot of contributors to what led me to this state of acute mania and I mean it was tough, man, it was.
It was a tough like week of in and out of the er, in and out of fighting with my parents. I mean, kind of spewing off the same same garbage that I'm telling you now.
But do you do you know what sollipsism is.
I do not.
Okay, maybe I should maybe, maybe maybe I shouldn't send you down this rabbit Maybe it's not responsible to send you down.
I'm a huge fan of rabbit holes, but I don't.
It's probably not respond it's probably super irresponsible to send you down this rabbit hole. But the only reason why I and bringing it up is is, I guess in relation to the god complex. Yeah, syllipsis, don't go don't go too crazy on it. Please stay in the matrix. Okay, the matrix is a nice place to be, especially when you're twenty. Stay in the matrix as long as you can.
I mean, I don't know if my parents have escaped the matrix for for the last four weeks and they don't stand what I mean.
We can, we can, we can, we can talk about that, but I don't whatever. Syllpsicism is this idea that your consciousness is the because I've gone I've had a I've recent not over the past year. As I've been hading, you've listened to my podcast, you know, I'm going through an existential crisis. As the year has been going, I've also had like a weird God complex of this. And here's what I mean by that is Syllipsism is the idea that your own consciousness is the only verifiable thing to you.
And so.
I know, yeah, well, it's the only thing that's verifiable to you, and so it leads you down this path of thinking, like, wait, theoretically I could be God. Not in the sense of like I'm like, not in like, oh, I'm better than everyone else kind of a sense, but in like a oh, I'm the only thing that can be verified, but I also have got but also the God, the the like a God complex thing manifests itself in this sense of like, sure, I'm God, but also everyone is God because.
God lives in within, God lives in with all of us.
Man, well, well, the idea that like, I mean, look, I'm create. I I am created out of fucking like biological material and carbon and ship that is, you know, part of my parents who were created out of carbon and it just keeps good. Eventually, if we go back farther enough, we get in from like how I got here and how I'm able to have these thoughts and
how I'm able to be conscious of myself. We start to delve into things that are beyond the known, and uh, you know, I'm a I'm a conscious product of the universe. I am the universe aka God. I don't know if I believe in like a Christian God, but you know what I mean, Like, you're you're you're born.
Of the p.
No, it's not everything, I'm everything. I'm saying like feels very like empirical to be. I know, I use the word too much. I'm saying like makes sense, Like I'm look, I'm created of, Like I'm a weird thing. We all are weird things. I'm a weird thing where I'm biological material like the like created from the universe itself, and I'm also conscious and I am experiencing the rest of the universe. That's fucking crazy to me. It's a wild it's a wild concept. So like be whatever, the whole
thing of, Like I'm the universe experiencing itself. Whatever. Blah blah blah, Anyway, anyway, I'm sorry that was a huge tangent, but that that's kind of I love it. But also, but here's why I.
Say, you want to stream of consciousness, man, that's that's that's what tis. I mean, that's why people are so interested and you have diehard listeners, right, I mean your stream of consciousness. When when you get into talking about a subject matter that's as heavy as that, it's it just it resonates so well with a lot of us, like free thinkers, I would say, I mean, I.
I appreciate that, Mason. I want to keep on subject. I want to keep on you is okay, So you were talking about let me let me ask you this, man, because what did the psychi when you when you went crazy and you went to the er and you and you saw the psychiatrist. What did they tell you?
So here's the thing. I was kind of in the midst of that god complex, but I was fully lucid and conscious the whole time. So I was actively trying to resist treatment. So I mean, for the first time we went to the er, everything was was pretty chill and dandy. These these medical professionals I'm air quoting right now, Okay, all right, Well didn't didn't didn't see well? Right, right, I mean, at least at least for me. They are medical professionals. They are able to help people who need
the help. But when when you don't feel as though you need the help in that state of mind, because I mean I was, because I was fully lucid and aware of my surroundings, but it was it was more of a spiritual awakening to me than it was any form of diagnosis. That were you but the matrix could give me?
Well, okay, I have again, I keep having thoughts about this. So were you when you say that in the in the in the time you were there, when you were lucid, you were not rejecting help, and you were and you called them quote unquote medical professionals as I'm talking to you right now, do you? And I'm not in the listen, listen, listen, let me let me right finish your quite And I'm I'm, I'm I'm not in the businesses. Maybe I am, but I was going to say, I I what fuck it do?
I had these right, I did think they could help me. But when I spend four hours of my life not seeking active help because my parents think I desperately need it. It seems like wasted time every time we went in there. The only time they were really of service to me is when I was having direct symptoms of my medication. So I would I would go in there because my parents think I'm manic, which yeah, you could from an
outsider's perspective, you could definitely say I was manic. But but I would rather be at homes like like going down rabbit holes, or watching YouTube or fucking jerking off, like I mean, doing something that's productive to me in
my life. Because when I was sitting in that hospital room, multiple hospital rooms for an extended period of time, waiting for the medical professionals to come in and try to diagnose what I'm what I'm undergoing, they weren't of any service to me, and it really just left myself and my parents with more questions about what I was going through.
I want to I just want to clarify. I want to clarify something. Are you talking right now from the perspective of you at the time, or this is how you feel right now.
Me at me at the time, this is this is me at the time, This is me able four weeks able to reflect on that time spent, because I mean, it's it's exactly a month to the date. I've been trying to call the last couple of times because I thought you would find my story interesting. But yeah, dude, I mean, it's it's just a lot for me to process. One is a man but also trying to find independence and trying to break free from from the the societal constructs that my parents have laid before me.
What is this? What is the societal contract that what is the societal contract.
That I that I need? That I need that I need to find a job that will make me money. But during my awakening, I realized that this was not the job for me. Okay, And I mean, and I feel like I'm actively like I feel like a caged bird right now, who who wants to spread his wings and fly. But I'm trying to find what I'm deeply,
truly passionate about to kind of help me. But I mean, I'm twenty one and the world's my oyster, right So I mean, I I will I probably won't find that right now, but that's I've kind of been banking on cryptocurrency too much to help help me find this financial freedom so I can take like a gap year in my in my working history to find what what what really?
What really resonates with me for the since COVID, I've kind of had dreams of being a nomad and living in a van down by the river, as Chris Barley would say, or I mean taking a sailboat and going and sailing from Seattle down to Hawaii. I mean, like so very ambitious goals like that.
Yeah. Actually I was. Yeah, I was like I think twenty twenty one when I first was like, oh I want to do Yeah, when I was also I was also at that age I was thinking a lot about nomad adventures and those things. Yeah, have you well, but also but also have you ever done anything like that?
No, sir okay, I mean other than other than backpacking, camping trips, really trying to get in tune with the really just touching graphs. I mean other than that, No, because I haven't had the funds or means to do.
So you're up what fifty grand in crypto?
Yes, sir okay.
Have you ever been out of the country?
Yes? Yeah, my parents were very fortunate enough to take my brother and I exploring around the world. Was last year, the year before we went and saw the Mayan ruins down in Chietsa, Nitza, we had a we had a tour guide there that really opened up my mind. And I mean, the sun gods and how the Mayans created our calendar year fifty two seasons in a year, seven days a week was all be able to they all they read that from the sun. And I mean, I think in a lot of ways, society is more advanced.
Society was more advanced back then than it is now just because we have smartphones. I mean, I'm an old soul that would really like to unplug from from the matrix, if you will. I mean, because nomadic lifestyle just seems like how our ancestors intended for us.
Let me tell you this, and this is there's no correct philosophy on how to live. I don't believe. And also I don't. You and I might have different interpretations
for what the quote unquote matrix is. Uh, my personal interpretation of what the matrix is is like, uh, you have kind of like where your brain is at when you're in some form of a spiritual awakening and you're seeing beyond the day, the day to day, right, and and the day to day and living in a society and stopping at stop signs and waiting in line at the CVS and talking to someone in a hallway and being on the computer and uh, you know, talking to your mom on the phone and saying hi to somebody
who walks past you down the street like that, Like that's the matrix or whatever, and or like you know, you're waiting in line at a sandwich shop and you're like, why is this line not going? Or whatever? You know, you're that's that's I get, Like the matrix. That's like every day. And then like beyond that is where you're like, uh oh, what the fuck? I'm the universe experiencing itself and what right? And my personal philosophy is you want
it is if you is. I was actually just talking about one of my friends about this, uh and and she disagreed. She wanted to live fully outside the matrix. But this is how I think about these things.
Live fully outside the matrix will need to be firmly planted in reality.
Okay, That's how that's what I was going. That's that's what I was gonna say. Is I enjoy life the most when I'm one foot inside always you gotta keep. You gotta keep, especially if you're at the point where you know you're you're going through psychosis and you're going to the er and you're you're really scaring the people around you, you want to keep. It's I think it's good to explore that which is beyond the matrix. But
you know what's funny. You know what's interesting is that you explore all these things outside of the matrix, But then the real spirituality is kind of found within the matrix a little bit, right, right, It's kind of found within the matrix. You know, it's found in very sure
small things. I mean, you know when you're whatever. Let's say you work at a fucking office and you are at the you're getting a snack from the fridge, and your coworker is talking to you about some fucking thing they did over the weekend, and you're talking to them
like that's very matrixy. But that's also but also but also being in the moment of that conversation has deep spiritual value, you know, so so go, so it's fun to explore yourself beyond the matrix and whatnot, But you got you bring it back, and you bring it back and you use it to because you also you also don't live there. Your your physical body and brain you live in. You live in society. You can go off into the woods and remove yourself, but you, I don't
know if you're gonna have such a great time. You know, it's good to live in society. So you, you know, go off and have your spiritual awakenings and whatever, do your fucking ayahuasca and uh, I mean maybe don't do ayahuasca, but go and and do do those things. But but bring it, bring it back so that when you're whatever talking to your son one day about some bullshit, it's like, you can navigate the thing you act you can, you can use it to better navigate the thing you actually
live in. Does that make any sense to you? Or am I on a road?
No? It totally, It totally does, dude.
Okay, because you, because you, if you, because you you realize a lot of things that are matrix y. You really you have to make money to survive. You you want a career or a or to pursue a passion of some kind that requires you to exist within your ego and your identity. Right, so the things you want are all matrixy, but that's good. If you live too far outside of the matrix, you'll get I don't know. I don't know what your brain is like. I only
have the experience of my brain. And when my brain goes too far outside of the matrix, I get lost. I just get lost. I'm honored to you know, think about that ship, but you get And also, you've become an asshole when you talk to your even when you talk to your friends about the matrix. And the more you talk to your friends about how you're the universe experiencing itself, the more they're gonna hate you.
So they think you're arrogant. They think you're an asshole.
And I mean being arrogant about it only if you are right, you know.
Well, I say those things because that's how my parents were referring to me when when I talk, And I mean, I'm just I'm trying to find that separation between me living outside of the matrix while still living in the confines of my household, while still living in the confines of the matrix, going going, and clocking in every morning. But I think it takes a lot to navigate, man. And uh, it seems like I'm too young to be experiencing the world in this in this in this light at the moment, maybe.
Sorry to storry to start to interrupt you, but also in talking about like I don't you shouldn't let your parents and the people are You shouldn't let your parents and the people around you dilute you. You know what I mean, You should let them dilute you. You you shouldn't let them dilute you. But also you gotta learn to live in the other people's contexts. You know, you gotta have
the empathy for your parents myself. Got to put yourself in their shoes, and you got to understand how their brain works and how their world works, and you might you might be living in this world that's like spiritually beyond what they understand, not even in a douchey I don't even that sounds douchey, but you know what I mean. But you got to learn you gotta take some empathy and have it for them so that you can be like, Okay, I'm gonna what's the best way to be in this
situation with them right now? And that that shows that I because you got to you got to live in their context. You can't let them you don't want to let them dilute you, and you don't want to let them make you feel bad about yourself or make you I'm trying.
I'm trying hard, right, Yeah, I'm trying hard. But uh, I'm trying to separate myself from Agent Smith actively trying to to pull me back into their way of thinking. Right. I mean, I refer to today I did my parents' Agent Smith.
But that is really that is extremely funny. But I mean, well, I'm sorry. I want to ask you.
I I want to free slope, dude.
I want to ask you. So, I mean, what is going on with your parents? Like? What is the deal there?
They? They love me almost too much. It feels like, like I said, it's overbearing. I've had this unconditioned, unconconditional love for the last twenty one years of my existence. I will always know they love me, and I will always love them. But I don't feel as though I'm in a a constant state to be parented anymore because I've I've found that in forms of mentors, mentors and my job mentors in my life, my I I find it hard to relate with my peers sometimes because because
I'm an old soul. I feel like a man that's that's living in the sixties right now. If that makes any sense to you, I mean, I I I just I find it hard to come to terms with with realities we know it today because I'm just reminiscent on on past societies, past cultures.
Okayanna, I'm gonna I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. What is it about? And I want you to try it. I'm gonna try I want to try to rain this in and get really specific here. What is it about past societies that you think can't be found in the world that you currently live in? If you can give me a specific answer about that, because I'm willing to bet so.
I'm immediately I'm immediately thinking of the movie Midnight in Paris. Owen Wilson goes to Paris and he hops in a in a horse wagon and carriage, and it brings him back to the nineteen twenties in a time where Paris, culture, literature, evolution in society was at its finest. And what I took out of that message was people are people in the present are actively trying to go back to how things used to be. And I mean I'm just a man, and I know I can't charge the course of history, and I go back.
I gotta stap, I gotta stop you, I gotta stop you. I'm so sorry for forgetting your name, because I'm really enjoying our conversation. But what was your name again? Mason?
Mason?
Mason Mason. I'm gonna stop you, and I'm going to ask you again because you kind of did the thing that I thought you were going to do. Okay, right, you kind of did the thing that I thought you were going to do, which is fine, But I'm gonna ask you again. What's specifically do you think is gone from the past that you can't find today?
Really? Really nothing? The only the only thing something maybe the addition of smartphones, right, I mean, I just, I just I don't like the way that smartphones make the common man think anymore, because everyone would rather be so sucked into the reality of their online screens. It's really just the modern age of technology we live in. While I reap the benefits of that, I also am reminiscent of a time where I had to go to the library to uh to find information.
And I means I I I under here's the thing, and I get that. And actually I don't think you echo, uh, you don't echo an unpopular sentiment. And I think a lot of people, especially like you know, I mean, uh, you know, twenty one twenty seven is is not a crazy gap, but it is a gap. And I think a lot of people, you know, you were of the
age where where we've only we've only known smartphones. And I think a lot of people do realize underneath it that they don't like smartphone culture and they don't like it, and I I I think that you're not alone in that, and I think that there's opportunity in understanding that you're not alone in that and going out to find uh, the more sort of intentional people and intentional communities that you seek. But you don't wanna you don't, I don't.
I just I just would you know, you're a smart guy, Mason, I would. I would hate for you to waste any time menting about the state of the world when you could be when you could be finding the people and the places that are worth engaging, because you know, I fucking every you know, dude, every every This is not a popular sentiment, but every epoch of history has had horrible, horrible things going on. I mean, we had fucking like,
we had two world wars. Man, Like, you know, there's never been a state of the world that was utopian. Maybe actually maybe maybe a little bit in the nineties, but even then there's probably going on that was kind
of when technology was perfect. But anyway, but anyway, like all the things that at least, if we're going to talk about you as an individual, the things that you seem to want, wants, you seem to want to just from talking to you, I'm gauging that you seem to want connection, you seem to want community, you seem to want to be able to express yourself. You seem to want adventures. Those are I mean, bro, those are my Those are my three big life values. Is adventure and community,
creative expression, and you can you can find them. You don't need to travel to fucking the eighteen hundred's. Life would suck in the eighteen hundreds. Man, you're no, but I don't need to imagine.
Imagine. Imagine imagine a get Go pulling out their gun from there and being a gunslinger, right, just just like Rango.
You know, Mason, I can Mason, Mason, I can buy a gun right now, I don't want a gun. You can go have an advent. You can go to the library right now. You don't have to transport to so, you know, if I were just like again, I would hate for you to be lamenting the world you could live in instead of realizing the opportunities that exist in the world that you do live in. Especially you, I mean, you got you got it on lock I. I know
that the crypto or whatever. You understand that you've got to try to figure out some way to make money outside of the traditional ways in order to you know, you understand the concepts of financial freedom and you understand this. And then the air thing. As far as dealing with your parents, I mean, I don't know, man, you'll honestly, if I had to simplify my thoughts about this conversation that we've had so far, I think you'll figure it out.
But like, don't let yourself go too crazy, man, Like stay, you know what I mean? Stay stay? And also, yeah, when other people want to help you, you should also be open to letting them to the degree that it doesn't dilute your your spirits and personality. You should let people help you, especially medical professionals. Because also a lot of the fucking things that we think of as spiritual awakenings are truly just brain chemicals acting in crazy ways, you know.
But yeah, so I don't know, let people, let people help you try to cultivate some form of empathy and understanding with your parents while not you know, while preserving yourself and yeah, just try to try your best. Man. I don't know, it was a long rant, but.
Oh dude, that exactly what I needed to hear today. I do need to make amends with with my parents. I knew. We had a kind of drag out fight last night where I just I just wish conflict resolution was more addressed in my upbringing because I'm actively trying to keep an open mind and kind of check my emotions at the door when I'm when I'm having conversations and really just taking in the full scope of scope
of what they're saying. And I mean that kind of ties back to living in the moment and and being an active listener. So you're not you're you're you're listening and you're not reacting to what they are saying. Yeah, and that's that is still what I'm trying to juggle and process right now is as I try to find my footing in this world, as we all are trying to find our footing in this world. I mean, we're supposed to be ever changing individuals, and I mean I'm
just I'm just trying to to evolve. Essentially. It's broadened my horizons in a way that most people aren't open to h to doing because they're they're content and they're comfortable in their current way of thinking and there in their current environment and circumstances, and uh, the wilderness must be explored.
Yeah, well try not to trying to I I uh, you know what's funny is I actually do think especially I think when you're younger and you're I you know, when you're like young and ambitious, there is a tendency to think of yourself in terms of others, which is what you're saying of like, you know, I want to explore the wilderness and I don't want to be like the other people. And that's actually it's a weird. It's a helpful jump start slash motivator to getting yourself out
and in the world and doing shit. But you know, then it's funny. I mean, I've been on that jur I'm still on the journey. But then you kind of do all that stuff and then you come back down to earth and you're like, oh, we were all we we were all kind of the same and some Yeah, I don't know anyway, Mason.
At the end of the day, we're all human, right, Yes, we're all human.
We're all destined for who knows. We didn't talk about the job thing. Yeah, we can talk about it briefly if you want. What do you want to do?
Dude? That's That's still what I'm trying to figure out because I was I was content with so when I when I graduated, my my walkout speech was I want to win the lottery and I want to buy the theme park that I've worked at my entire life. Uh. The owner of the theme park saw that and uh
and had a chuckle. But I mean, I've always I've kind of been a one track mind up until my acute mania, So I mean I would I would have been content with working at this place my entire life, but I'm actively trying to veer away from from that way of thinking and uh and realize there's more to life than to the than than working at the same job my entire working career. So right now, I think I'm trying to expand my resume. I mean, the resume comes to like gaining world experience as well as my
working career. So I mean, I'm I'm almost thinking working for a cruise line and uh and being able to being able to see the world while also getting a steady paycheck, living living abroad and living aboard a vessel. Right, So, I mean, I think there's there's proper ways to go about this that kind of tap into the what I'm what I'm actively searching for, and that's just a sense of connection and a sense of humanity because I kind of I kind of radiate off the energy I receive
in the world. So I mean, if I'm if I'm around a group of people, my my initial instinct is to bring the spirits of others up. So I kind of do that in the form of being a stand up comedian. I kind of do that in the form of being courteous and uh and charismatic and gentle to others. But when when I'm when I'm receiving toxic energy or or hearing things that I mean that are coming from a place of love. But yeah, I just I need to be more open and understanding kind of like you're saying.
But you. But I also I think that what you're talking I think everything you're talking about is is sort of a natural process of maturity that you go. I mean, you're still still young man. I think. I think I'll let you go in a sec But I I think that the hunches that you have to make more of your life and do more things and try to put yourself out there by you know whatever, going on a cruise line or maybe doing like a work away or
some shit, I think they're great hunches. And I and I think that a lot of the things you're going for sort of emotionally or spiritually, they kind of come as a result of like natural maturity. So I just I'm gonna let you go, but I'll say don't let just don't let just don't let yourself go too crazy, and try to let people help you if they feel like, yeah, they feel like you need help. Mason, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Not necessarily to the computer, I do have a thought for you. Have you ever thought about doing a therapy get go podcast out of an airplane as you're actively skydiving for the first time, or if you if you haven't been skydiving before. I think that would be a good piece of content.
I unfortunately hate that idea.
I have.
No, I'm not interested in, Yeah I do. I I'm not interested in like extreme sports or things that in like any kind of like physical danger, right, But I like But I appreciate the idea. I appreciate the idea. I think I would. No, I would, I would ship my pants. There's way, but there's there's way other things that I would rather do than skydive. But who knows.
Then the people, the computer. I just want to say, live and let live, and I mean be the best version of yourself every day.
So beautiful. Thanks for listen, Thanks for the kind words you have about the podcast, Thanks for sharing your story, and I'll uh I'll see you around the universe.
Misson absolutely man, thank you for the time. Take care of you.
Know.
It's funny he said he's listened to every episode. I wonder if he's gonna listen back to himself on this episode. That could be crazy. That could be crazy. I liked that conversation. Yeah, I do feel like I actually I feel I felt a lot in common with Mason, like like thinking about like me at twenty one, Not so
much the existential stuff. I wasn't particular I was maybe I was a little bit existential when I was twenty I was definitely a little bit existential when I was twenty one, not to the degree that I am now or to the degree that I think Mason might be. But I definitely had the same sort of adventurous spirit or desire to find something beyond what I what I knew. But yeah, I think I think he'll arrive at certain
places again through just some natural maturity. And that was and that was that call, and I am a gecko.
Hello, Hi, I'm Cora. Wow, this is crazy. How's it going?
Uh? You know, actually this morning is going good. I feel good. I'm here on the earth. I'm asking a lot of questions to my brain, but you know, doing the best, doing the best I can. How are you doing, Coorra? What's up?
I'm doing pretty good? You know, I'm feeling I remember you told the listener one time, is the least important conversation that you'll ever have. I'm trying to tell myself that right now. Yeah, you know is doing pretty good.
Yeah, breakout work.
Yeah, this is among one of the least important conversations I think you'll have. What's what's your life like side of this conversation.
Well, I'm a trans woman. Uh. I just moved to Seattle from the Midwest, so that's a pretty interesting change. I'm living with a couple, so it's me and then two people that are dating in a two bedroom, which is only the second weirdest roommate situation I've had. But yeah, that's pretty much what my life looks like right now.
Why is that a weird situation for you? Is it? Do you feel like you're third wheeling these people?
Oh yeah, no, it's it's like chill, we're all we're all like queer, so it's not like super awkward.
I think.
I think we've avoided awkward situations so far. But you know, sometimes I got to set boundaries, you know, got to be like, don't share, don't be intimate around me, you know, stuff like that.
What was the other roommate situation that you were in?
My ex? So I lived with my ex for like, wow, I just saw someone run over a traffic cop and that's crazy A sorry. So I lived with my ex for like a year after we broke up, and that was the weirdest roommate situation I think I have ever been in. And I think I mean, obviously that's already weird, but it was mainly weird because they started dating someone like very shortly after we broke up and continued to live together.
Did they have the person that they were dating over the house while you guys were living together?
Yeah?
Were you guys sharing like a one bedroom or a studio or did Aulae have your own room?
So I had my own room. We shared a wall, so I did hear some things. It's kind of weird, kind of felt like I was sitting in the cuck chair sometimes, you know what I mean?
Yeah, totally. Whose idea was it to break up.
Theirs?
Ah? Yeah, yeah, it was like yeah, yeah, go ahead, Oh.
No it was. It was just like.
A bad relationship though, So I think they're kind of valid, you know, I think we were just we were together for like four and a half years or something when we broke up, and I'm twenty four. I just turned twenty four, so like we were together for like since like high school, so you know.
And are you outdating anyone? Now? Are you? What are you doing?
Mm hmm. You know, I've been thinking about getting on dating apps. I feel like i've kind of I've not been dating or been interested in anything romantic since I moved. I don't know why. I feel like I've just been like since I was in a relationship for so long, I've just been like enjoying doing my own saying, oh my god, mm.
Hm m hm uh what is it? What is your own thing that you've been doing?
Well, I let's see. My big three hobbies are like music, video games, and I make like YouTube videos. But yeah, I would say, I feel that's a weird. I feel like we're bringing up YouTube videos on your podcast.
Sorry that I was, well, I.
Was gonna ask. I was gonna ask what kind of YouTube videos? What kind of YouTube videos?
So I got I just started a podcast actually, And then I also make me and one of my roommates makes We both make video essays and I I edit them and stuff.
So yeah, the thing, what was the last thing you made a video essay about?
Well, the last thing I'm The thing I'm about to upload is so I make anime videos. But like I'm also queer, So I want to get like a queer audience, right, So I thought, what better thing to cover than to talk about futinari? What the you know that is?
Yeah?
I probably I I what is what is Fuinariutinari?
Well, I'm going to be the caller that teaches you about futinari.
Okay, So this.
Is essentially like Tai you know head Tai. It's that but with girls with like massive penises, and that's essentially.
The whole meme.
And my video was on whether or not it's representation because it's kind of fetishizing.
So it was kind of just like.
A pseudo intellectual video essay about that.
But yeah, you know, can I I'm very curious about what you think about this? Is like, is is the idea? And I don't know, maybe this is a stupid thing to talk about. But like in the current world right where like everyone like we're no longer living in a mono culture, like is representation still a thing because like we're all kind of representing ourselves on the internet now, So it's like I don't, well, I don't know, I
don't know. I'm curious what you think because like I don't know, do we need like, do are people still like hung up about like representation and like mainstream media if there isn't any mainstream media really, I mean there still is, I guess mainstream media, but it's like dying,
you know. So it's like when you because like when you scroll on TikTok or Instagram reels, you already get like you're algorithmically you're presented with representations of yourself like naturally, I don't know, I don't I'm just spitballing ideas here. But what do you think about that?
No, that's so real because like before you page, my for you page is all people that are like me. It's all great people and other than like stuff that goes viral and just ends.
Up there naturally.
Like it's mostly people that are like me. So I am represented by my social media and takes. That's an interesting point. I feel like a lot of people have been like just like so disillusioned by popular media like move like Marvel movies. For example, they were going to release a comic for Marvel called Snowflake and Safe Space, and it was supposed to be representation for non binary superheroes. But it's like obviously that's so cringe to have a
superhero called Snowflake and safe space. And I feel like that's a great example of like, yeah, we don't need representation when it's like a billion dollar corporation. They don't know what they're doing.
We're not even looking for that anyways.
Right right, I mean kind of like, you know, I guess who gives a shit what like the billion dollar or whatever. I don't know. I feel like social media, although people have demonized lots of aspects of it, it
has allowed for greater democratization of the media landscape. You know, well, I got okay, I got a question for you, So listen, as a queer person, how do you feel when like what a target or whatever, or like like during Pride Month, right when all these companies are like, hey, look we have a ring, we changed our profile picture to the rainbow flag. But it's still like, you know, we're doing a bunch of crazy stuff behind the scenes, Like does is that do anything for you? You know?
I have a funny anecdote about this. There was like a viral video of someone like trashing of Barnes and Noble Pride display. So it's like from down the street, from where it grew up, like at my Barnes and Nobles, and I think that was.
Like two years ago.
This year, companies did not really do the whole Pride thing, and I think it's because of stuff like that where people were coming in and like screaming about like tucking underwear. You know, I wish stuff like that, you know, Like the Target specifically is tragic because like sometimes they do be having cute stuff at Target, you know, like yeah,
and it really depends on the store. Also, I saw there's like always a meme like a Cracion Pride profile picture, you know, like you're telling me Pride profile picture, Like okay, but I guess I.
Don't like when you see that, you know, and it's got like like like the trans flag in it, Like does that do anything for you? Does that make you feel? Is that do you like that stuff? Uh?
No, It's I feel like it's more of a meme. I feel like it's kind of like an indicator of just like whoever's president, you know what I mean, Like how like.
How which which way.
The tides turning in terms of which is more profitable, you know what I mean?
They don't.
It's more of like a yeah, No, it doesn't do anything for me. It's just more interesting.
Mm hmm. What you what, you grew up in the Midwest?
Yes, I grew up in Arizona, so kind of Midwest kind of okay?
Was there a lot of queer culture in the Arizona.
There is a lot of queer culture, or in Arizona. It's kind of a weird state because everything's so spread out and it's so hot, so no one fucking goes outside. So the community there is very like spread out and not very centralized. But there are a lot of gay people that live in Arizona.
Were you in a major city or were you in kind of a smaller place.
I was in a major city, so I went to Asu, and yeah, so that area was pretty gay. But there's also a lot of everyone there because international students and just everyone in college town, you know. But yeah, I think Arizona.
Is like very weird.
It's like, I mean, obviously all the young people are like general like West Coast demographic, but also like we have so many boomers that are just giving, like straight, like midwestern small town like evangelical Christian, Like who am I about to talk to right now? When I'm going for the fries, you know, likeice old lady or like crazy person. You know, that's kind of how it fell for me. I don't know if this is like the
same experience for anyone listening. Obviously, I'm a trans woman, so I kind of view it through like a more bias lens. I'm sure it's trail for some people.
But yeah, And how has Seattle been in comparison just I mean sort of just in general?
Oh oh, it's awesome. I mean for queer people, this is like the best place to be I'm telling you Capitol Hill and like just Seattle in general, there's like I mean, I actually am seeing people like same sex couple's hold hands in public, which is something I had never seen before, like outside of Pride Parade. So that's interesting. I think also people in Seattle, it's kind of funny people in Seattle suck and saying hi to you on
the street. I don't know, what do you think do you enjoy when people say, like, hey, how are you?
They suck at saying hi? Well, I feel like in any big city you're not going to get people saying hi to you on the street.
Mm hmm.
Yeah, you're in New Yorker. Can people do that there?
No, of course not definitely. Not well, because there's so many people, Like saying hi on the street is like, well, let me think. No, I mean when I go back home to Baltimore, like to the suburbs, like I'll say hi to somebody if I pass by them in the suburbs. But that's not I don't think that's really a thing that happens in a big city.
Yeah.
I guess if there's so many people, you can't say to everyone.
Right right?
Yeah?
Maybe like yeah, no, no, it's not really a big saying hi to people town. What do you what's so you're living with this couple there right, yes, okay, how do you know them?
Where?
They just ran? The people from craig list or are your friends?
You know?
So one of them is like my best friend.
We moved.
He actually asked me to move here first, and I was like okay, sure. So we moved here together and then he started dating someone like pretty fast, just because he's like very like social and on dating apps and stuff, and uh yeah, it just ended up working out that the U haul lesbian. I don't know if you've heard that term, you haul lesbian?
But what is a lesbian?
So a U haul.
Lesbian is when two people, two queer people start great and so U haul lesbian applies to woman, but it could be anyone. And it's essentially when the relationship moves really fast in terms of like, oh, we met two days ago and now we're like moving in together, you know, so we already got the U haul. So it's called it U haul lesbian?
Is that a I feel I feel like And this is purely like anecdotal observation, Like, I feel like, do do queer relationships tend to move quicker than straight relationships? M?
Yes?
Why do you?
What do you do?
Because straight people have a stick up their butt?
Man?
I feel like the process of a straight relationship first date is removing the stick up your butt and then you can talk like normal people, you know, like everyone's so scared. I feel like queer people like you already have like such like a huge life experience in common. You are you can kind of get past that like awkward face. I feel like a bit easier interesting, Yeah, and you're just more comfortable.
I don't know, is there do you think? Like again, anecdotally from your experience, do you have you found like that queer people have been more like generally wired for like down for like monogamy from the start, because I feel like, well, like in straight relationships, I feel like, uh, in general, there's a lot of like hesitancy for commitment and you know, oh maybe you know, in the world of infinite possibilities, is there someone else better out there?
You know?
Do we want to move things so fast?
You know?
Do you feel like there's less of that in the in the queer community?
Is there less I'm sorry, what was the last part of the question.
Oh, you know, just just like, uh, a fear of commitment. I'll put it short.
Oh, yeah, no, I'm back on track. Yeah, So I mean it's more like you can.
I don't know.
I guess it's per person I wouldn't want to generalize fear of commitment as like a queer thing or not a queer thing, but I feel like maybe I feel like maybe queer people just like lack community from spaces where it's offered normally, like maybe family or like friends or maybe like in schooling, Like if you're like not in an accepting area, I feel like stuff like that makes you like want to move faster in your relationship because you want to like feel what you don't have,
and normally you don't need to do that in a relationship to get those things, you know, Like there's lots of found family, so I feel like it kind of it kind of has to relate to that also, so it's kind of an incentive to commit as supposed to fear of commitment. To bring it back to your question, I feel like there's more of an incentive to commit for like community, Like you're all in the same community anyways.
Yeah.
Interesting. What about you personally? How's your Are you like trying to find a husband or a wife or like what is your what's your goal?
Oh?
Man, I thought I was in the men for so long, but I think I really just want a wife, you know, or a girlfriend. I don't want to get married, honestly. It was kind of speaking a fear of commitment. I'm not trying to get married. That's scary. But yeah, no,
I've been thinking of getting on dating apps. But I also want to see if like going to like third spaces or shared spaces for like my interests would help me find and meet people because I just moved here, so I need to like go out and like find things, do my weekly thing, so I don't kill myself, you know, like that one guy said magic on Monday, So I don't kill myself.
It's true. You got to have something to make a say don't kill yourself. It's very important. Yeah, it's very important. Do you have a job of some kind out there?
Yes, without docting myself, I work at car dealerships, so it's a very not queer job. It's kind of the opposite. Actually, it's very interesting.
Yeah, tell me more. How has that experience been.
So I work on like the I work like non sales. I work in service, so when I talk to salespeople, it's always like in passing. So this is where I get a lot of like oh, people stuck and saying hello. Like so these are like my coworkers that I never have to talk to, but we see each other every day, and they all suck at communicating, specifically at this dealership that I'm at right now. I feel like everyone sucks at communicating except for me, and car dealerships are just
like that out here. I don't know everyone like so focused. Sorry, I'm basically salespeople are so focused on selling cars that they're kind of rude, and then the service texts are all just like dude bros. So if you're one of those types of people, it's great. But yeah, no, I'm kind of just here because it makes me some money.
You know.
You know, what do you work in? Do you are? You do work in sales or you do you like get commissions and stuff?
So I work in service, so I like work on the electricity. I'm like twelve o'ol, so that like I work on cars, like the electricity part of it.
Yeah, okay, okay, it's not very int. What's your name in Karra?
Cora?
Cora? Uh? What's your I guess before we go? Well, you know, I want to ask you this, Quorra, because I know we just kind of chatted for twenty minutes, but was there a particular thing you wanted to talk about when you called?
I feel like I steered the conversation towards all the topics I would talk about, honestly.
Perfect. So what's next for you, Kara? What's your dream in life? What?
What? Uh? What's an influencer?
I want to be an influencer.
Or work for someone. This isn't I'm not doing the critch thing where people call it as for jobs. I would never do that, but I w it's either that or like be an editor for someone like a YouTuber, you know. So those are my two things I'm working on right now. So I've been editing my podcast and I got my friends YouTube channel in mine and just autistically doing that over and over again. So yeah, so.
Your and have you uploaded a video essay before? Is this your debut?
I've had I've done three four, but two of them my first one is pretty so. My first one's bad, my second one's pretty good. I'm uploading a third one and then I have a couple on my friend's channel. I'm starting out, though it's pretty debut. No subscribers, have you got any?
Have you got any any buzz on any of them? Or at least because there's the thing, right, it's not about like going viral or getting a ton of views, but like if you post a video essay, right and you get like three comments from people you don't know, that's pretty good.
Yeah, so I think I found it that So yeah, I agree. I'm not really like focused on the numbers. I'm kind of more focused on how much I can engagement I get with people. So, like one of them, I posted about how this anime character is trans and a lot of people don't think that they're trands. It's from this anime called Rama one Half or Context for anyone that knows that show. That got like five hundred views, but it got like a hundred comments of people arguing
in the comments. Yeah, because that's what you're on like a controversial topic.
Yeah right right, so yeah, that's what people I think, you know, people don't understand about like building Internet careers or whatnot. Is it's not about like how many views or followers someone or something has. It's more about like how many comments there are because that that that's a representation of like how many actual human beings are genuinely engaging in the things that you are saying and doing.
Right.
No, yeah, I think it's so cool. I actually get like that feedback, especially on YouTube when it's like delayed. I don't know, it's very fun. It's like instead of it's like turning in like a video assignment for a class, but instead of a teacher, it's like a bunch of like random.
Twelve year old boys on the.
I like, how did I do.
I like that analogy. Yeah it is. It's like you're writing an s say for school, except instead of a teacher, it's a bunch of twelve year olds on YouTube that are giving you the grains. That's very funny. Well, Coora Uh, if you want, you can shut yourself out.
Okay.
So I my.
Video essay channel is Cora Lex c O R A L e X, and then my podcast is called Pleasers and you can really just called, like type in pleezers Cora lex.
And it pops up.
Cora Lex. Anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go go outside.
Don't be afraid of making eye contact with people. You look silly. I am someone that starts being afraid of eye contact. I'd be looking at people ignoring me, and that looks silly. We all got to start talking to each other more, That's what I think.
Stare at everyone.
Yes, therapy, pople in public.
Beautiful, take care of court.
Yep, you two fine?
That was fun. What was the thing? Foo? Put foo something something of the foo Kora Lex. Let's go I'm gonna check her out. Let's see Cora Lex YouTube dot com, slash kora Lex. Oh, okay, This is not what I was expecting to come up when I typed it. Okay, this is a skateboarding person. This is definitely not the right thing. Okay, I'm just gonna search Kora lex On. Oh harah, here we go, Here we go. Did trans people ruin anime? I think that I think that's the one that that that they're talking about.
Oh.
I like this format. This is cool. Yeah, there we go. There's a bunch of people in the comments talking about each other. That was good. This is good.
Yeah.
I like I like make I like when people make stuff. I think it's good to make stuff rock and roll. Hey, what's up, folks. I'm gonna end this episode by doing a little bit of gak mail. Uh. If you're not familiar, gek mail is a thing that I do where I uh read viewer mail and uh if you want to me to read an email that you have sent, you can send me an email at therapy gecko mail at gmail dot com and I might perhaps read your email. So let's, uh, let's start reading a few emails, shall we. Okay,
this first one is from Valentine. The subject line is all caps. We are sinners. Valentine says dear Lyle, I've been listening to your podcast since the pandemic and I wanted to thank you and the listeners for bringing together so many stories. Thank you, Valentine on twenty six from Vienna, Australia.
And am not religious by any means, but this New Year I walked past a church and thought about going in for confession, mainly because therapy is so expensive and religions use many tools like meditation that are used in therapy too. However, I didn't go in. It's fine. I've thought about doing a confession once. I don't know can Jews go to confession? I feel like that. I mean, that's who gives it? No one. I think they just let you in. I think he's to do it anyway.
After giving it some thought, I realized that most of the sins quote unquote discussed and confession are religious in nature. Parentheses, blasphemy, masturbation, primarital sex, etc. And I don't feel bad about participating in those things. When I got home, I kept thinking about what I would have said if I had gone in. At first, I couldn't come up with anything. This felt strange, because of course we all do things that aren't okay,
even if unintentionally. The more I thought about it, the more I spiraled into overthinking may and other's actions and whether they are morally right and respectful. I wonder how many people find the balance between being self serving and empathetic for the community when the line is evil and when uh? I wonder how many people find the balance between being self serving and empathetic for the community and
when the line of evil is drawn? And how conscious all those good and evil people in the world are. One of the sins that came to mind had to do with Eric, the man from the Australian Homeless shelter. The man oh oh, the man from the Austrian homeless shelter. Okay, wait, I remember this. Do you guys remember a phone call
that I took on here? I think I think this is a yeah, this is a This is a person who is referencing a phone call I took on here from this guy, this Austrian dude named Eric who worked at a homeless shelter. One of the things that came to mind had to do with Eric the man from the Austrian Homeless Shelter. In the chat when I was streaming this on Twitch, In the chat, I commented that I'd love to get in contact with him to go to your show in Cologne, and he replied that we
should get in touch. Interesting, however, I completely ghosted him. At the time, I was broke from a trip I had just taken, under immense pressure to finish my experiments for my master's thesis and trying to find a PhD position. On the other hand, Eric was probably looking to get in touch with me and never got a reply. I'm sorry, Eric, I hope you can forgive me. I hope you and Eric had an amazing show in Cologne and that you'll come back to Europe Sunday. All the best, love your podcast. Okay,
here's what I'm confused about. Is okay, when you say you ghosted him, right when you say you ghosted him, were you guys just in the twitch chat and you were like, hey, we should go to the show together, and he was like, yeah, we should and then you didn't say anything else. Is that really ghosting? Because look, here's the thing, right, we all know that we all know that some plans just don't make it out of the group chat. You know what I'm saying. Sometimes plans
just don't make it out of the group chat. That's not really ghosting. Ghosting would be more like if you guys got in contact and the DMS and you were like, Hey, what time do you want to meet up on the day of the show?
Right.
If it got to that point, then maybe it's ghosting. But if it was just like you brought it up in the chat, I don't think. I don't think you need to go to confession for that necessarily, But thank you for your thoughts, Valentine. Okay, let's see here. This is from Jeremy subject line open masturbation, second date. Hey, Geck, I had a girl over at my house hanging out. Okay, this person spelled girl with a U. It's not that important, but it's also a little important. I had a girl
over at my house hanging out. We met on the apps hinge. Specifically, we were just chilling watching a show. No physical contact or intimacy had been performed at all thus far. This evening, we were watching Squid Game season three, and I get up to let my dog out, and when I come back, this girl is completely naked on my couch, legs spread open, using a mini vibrator, casually having an orgasm right there, right on my couch. Exclamation point. I see this and go oh sorry, turned around and
walked back outside and came back a minute later. When I get back, she's dressed and sitting there watching TV like nothing happened. I sit back down and watch for about five minutes in complete silence before I ask her why she didn't just use the bathroom or something, and her response was, I just needed to have an orgasm. You know, I'm almost certain I'm asexual, but hate labels, so I just set her up on a date with a mate who's always horny. Lol. I'm Australian, by the way.
Come to Cannaburra for a show. My confused regards Jeremy. Okay, this is a what an awesome email. That's so funny. First of all, I you know, Jeremy, I have to say, I think if you're a sexual, that's all cool. I have such strong respect for you that, after all this happened, you just you set her up with one of your friends. That's awesome. That's a really good Uh, that's a really
good move this woman. Clearly, I think if a woman comes to your house and then you go to the bathroom or some ship, and then she comes back, and then you come back and she's just naked. She's probably I would probably assume that she was into you, or she or something. I would probably that's a I think that's a fair assumption. Maybe she didn't know that you were, that you were asexual. I don't know. I don't this. I this is an interesting case to me. But you,
I would ask your friend. I would be like, so, what what's up? Did you did? Did? Did? Did your friend and this lady go on a date? Did? Did?
Uh?
I'm cre I'm really curious about this lady. If your friend ends up going out with this lady and then gives you any more information, let me I send another email because I'm curious what this lady's deal is, because there's some something's going on. Maybe who knows. Not that it's any of my business, I guess, although I guess my entire show is about things that are none of my business. You're a good homie, Jeremy. Okay, this is from Brendan subject line stuck in my own brain. Hello, Lyle.
I'll keep this as short as I can. Recently, I broke up with my partner and ever since it happened, I haven't changed for the better. I've been ignoring most social connections I had and feeling NonStop guilt for the breakup and also for being distant from the world. I can't stop feeling pathetic and scared to step back into the world despite how bad this is for my health. Have you ever been too depressed or distant to want
to be a part of people's lives? If you have or haven't, do you have any advice on how to stay positive and go through life even when it seems impossible to do? Love? The podcast was a treat to see you alive later this year. If you read this higher a Koul guy anonymous. Oh okay, well all right, well we'll cut his name out. We'll just say this is from anonymous. Okay. I'm trying to think here. I'm trying to think here, and this is a real this is a very much a real therapist type of a thing.
But I am it does have me thinking about my own life. I think. I mean, I'm the kind of you know, there's two kinds of like depressed people, Like some people get depressed and they when some people when they get depress, say withdraw and they don't want to talk to anyone. And I've had I have tons of friends like that who they get depressed and they just ghost everyone and they don't want to be a part of people's lives. In my personal experience with depression, I'm
kind of the opposite. When I get depressed, I want to okay, I'll say this, uh, when i'm you know, part of what I enjoy in my own life and is also my job, is like interfacing with new people and new experiences and trying to find interest in the world around me, and like I have, I have a part of my soul that like loves life and loves people and loves new experiences and wants to connect with as many folks as possible and engage in as many
novel experiences as possible and whatnot. And when I get depressed, I absolutely distance myself from that part and I go, wow, I don't give a fuck about to anyone or anything, and I super distance myself from that. But when it comes to people I'm already connected with, like the people in my life, like my you know, my family and my like my my real friends and whatnot, when I get depressed, I tend to be drawn uh uh more
towards then, if that makes sense. I typically crave social connection from people I already know when I'm depressed, but I lose the part of myself that wants to engage with the world at large. And so do I have any advice on how to stay positive and go through life even when it seems impossible to do? You know,
within your ability. I don't know what your life looks like beyond just this email, but I've definitely had I've had periods of time where I was really depressed and I was like, I shouldn't bother dating or going out and doing anything because I'm just like, I don't I can't see why anyone would want to be around me right now because I'm just like such a I have
no energy. And I think typically when I feel that way, it's a sign that I gotta go back in to the I call it the depression laboratory, where we gotta hit the drawing board. We gotta go, Okay, something something is not good here. Is it a medication thing, is it a is it a brain thing? Is it a whatever? We get we hit the drawing board. So I think when I feel this way, I just go back to the drawing board, and I go, okay, I'm clearly you
can't force it. I don't think I'm just talking. I advice is one thing I can only I can only really just tell you my lived experience, and I found I can't force things when I'm depressed. So if I'm depressed, and that means I can't like whatever, go to some social event or you know, do this podcast or do something that demands of me, I don't try to force it because the idea of like you said it, you say in this email, do you have any advice on how to go through life? And even when it seems
impossible to do it? Is if I'm in a situation where a thing seems impossible to do because of my mental health, I just don't do it, and I go, okay, let me go back to the depression laboratory and go, okay, maybe I need to get more sleep, maybe I need to try some medication, maybe I need to do this that the other thing first before I begin to feel
like myself. And then the things that were previously impossible to do, I'm like, oh, they were impossible to do because of something internal that I needed to work out first and now that I've worked them out, I'm like, Okay, I actually can interface with the world after kind of fixing myself a little bit. That's really how it's worked just for me in my life. So also, sometimes, bro, you just got to turn your shit off and back
on again, you know what I'm saying. So you ever have a day, You ever have a day where you're like, yeah, we gotta this, we gotta give we gotta give up today. We'll try again tomorrow. I think I've brought this up on the podcast before, maybe, But doctor k who's great. You should check him out on YouTube. He goes by healthy gamer Gigi. He's like a he's an actual therapist. He's like a psychiatrist guy. I know he does a lot of mental health videos. But he talked about uh.
He says he doesn't dip into reserves. He says he works hard, but he doesn't dip into reserves. And when he said that, I was like, that's fucking genius. So that's kind of how I do it is I'm like, I'll i'll be a part of other people's lives. I'll interface with the part of myself that wants to be in the world doing things, and I'll work as hard as I can, and I'll, you know, try as hard
as I can. But once I sense in my brain and my body that I'm beginning to dip into reserves is when I stop and I go, Okay, time to turn this off and back on again. I don't know if that rant was helpful for you in any way, but good luck, Brendan. Okay, I'll take a I'll take one more viewer call.
All right.
This is from We Found Love in an Email? Okay, Oh, this is from Elise. The subject line is we found Love in an email. Hey, Gek, you spoke to my boyfriend Bryce and I on Valentine's Day earlier this year. We were the couple who called in while sitting in a car outside the art museum. I fully, I not only fully remember this phone call, but I often think of it. Actually, I often think think of it. We were the couple who called in while sitting in a car outside the art museum. Thought to send a cute
little update. We both cherish that episode. One thing I liked about this couple is I remember they were a little bit older and they were on like a What I liked I remember I liked this episode because these two they were a little bit older, and yet they were on a very teenage date. Like I remember being sixteen and I was on a date with a girl, like sitting in a car in a parking lot, and it just it feels like, you know, you have moments like that where you're like, all right, well that was
all in high school, that's all gone. And I was talking to these two and I was like, oh shit, they're they're still doing it, you know, So I thought it was cool. Okay. As a refresher, me and my boyfriend met in January of this year through hinge. Bryce had asked me to be official in March, and our relationship has grown so much since we last spoke to you. We've traveled together, met family members, connected on a very emotional level, and we can both confidently say that we've
never felt safer with anyone before. I love that. And look, these guys met when they were twenty nine or something like that. For all you young folks out there afraid you'll never find love. In our episode, we had briefly spoke about how many tribulations it took to find each other. I'm writing this not only as a form of a love letter, but I also wanted anyone in the dating scene who hears slash reads this to feel inspired to
keep putting this themselves out there. I'd like to see this as a pay it forward because there was a force in my life who inspired me to keep putting myself out there despite feeling hopeless toward dating. And if it wasn't for that, I would not have what I have today. So if you happen to read this, thank you and thank you for all you do. Much love, take care at least. Wow, that's a great email to end on. It's tough, man, it's tough. The apps are
a grind. You know. Real life is tricky. It's hard. It's hard for men and women out there, and I think a lot of people they get a little disillusioned, especially if you know things haven't happened at certain periods of time where you may have expected them to have happened. But yeah, I don't know. I've talked about this on
here before. My parents are divorced and they're both remarried, and they got divorced when they were in their fucking h I want to say my parents got divorced in like they're mid or late forties, and they're both remarried. And the people that my parents are remarried to, my stepmom and my stepdad are significantly better matches for them than each other. I mean shit, I think my dad met my step mom when he was fucking forty nine or forty eight, forty six, and they've they have a
great relationship. They've been together for a while. My mom met my stepdad when she was at a similar age. They've been together for you know, they have a great relationship. So yeah, I agree. Just keep putting yourself out there. Life, life, life. Okay, Well, this was a fun podcast. This was a good one. Shout out to Mason, Shout out to Cora. Thank you guys for calling, Thank you guys for emailing, Thank you guys for listening. Oh I am folks listening on Spotify
or on any podcast form, although mainly Spotify. I'm gonna be I So this is the last thing I'll say before we go. I made this video. I don't know if you guys remember a caller named Diego from an episode back in December of twenty twenty four or twenty twenty three, But there was a caller there's this guy who called me on the show from Tijuana and we talked about the Tijuana breakdance scene. And I went to Tijuana a couple months ago to meet him in real life.
And I made this little travelogue documentary video and actually, if you want to watch it on YouTube, it'll be It's out right now on my YouTube channel YouTube dot com slash Lyle Forever. But I'm also gonna try to post it on here on Spotify as like a video podcast episode on Friday, so look out for that. But if also, if you want to just watch it right now, you can watch it on my YouTube YouTube dot com slash Lyle Forever. It should be out by the time
this podcast episode is out. Anything else that's it. Go watch that documentary. I hope. I want you guys to watch it because I worked hard on it and I want to make more of them, and if you watch it, it will it will make it so that I can make more around the world. Maybe I'll visit other callers. Maybe I'll go to Kenya, maybe I'll go to Brazil, maybe I'll go to the Middle East. I want to do all that shit. Okay, I'm done ranting. I gotta get off. I gotta get out of here. But uh, okay,
see you guys soon. Thank you. Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access
to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members only streams, and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's members only bonus episode.
But I did want to tell a story about the first time I did acid. Okay hit me, and I wouldn't say I ended up in Narnia. I felt like all of my bones disconnected, like individually, and we're rotating like long waves inside of my skin. Like you don't know exactly how to explain it, but not like circular, but like.
Your bones are rotating inside of your skin. If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium member at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com, or find the link in the episode description. That's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right, I have nothing else to say there.
Rep Ken goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.
The RepA Can goes doing his ride. He's teaching you to loud in the lid of your life, but he's not really an expert.