Hey, man, that's your name going on.
Uh, let's go. Let's go Papa John, because that's where I'm at right now. Let's go, Papa John.
Papa John. What's going on with you?
H nothing much, man, I'm just at work right now, you know, not getting any tips. I don't know what's going on with people tonight. But yeah, man, So.
What'd you want to talk about today, Papa John?
Yeah, I just want to talk about So. I have a girlfriend of about four years now, and oh my fuck, it's gonna sound so bad saying this, but I just can't stop but.
Like cheating.
I can't stop cheating.
Okay, yeah, it says here you said I can't stop cheating on my girlfriend and I think it's my dad's fault because he fucks hookers.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean. Listen to your a lot of your podcasts. I like asked myself the same questions you asked your listening, and I think I've blowed it, blowed it down to that, I think.
Okay, So, but here's the thing. How can how can? Why do you? Why do you say that you cheating on your girlfriend is your dad's fault?
Hmmm? Well okay, So so my dad fucks hookers and he's he's still with my mom. They're like together, right, we all live together.
Mm hmm.
And it's kind of weird. Me and him never really had.
A relationship, so I guess to relate with me, he talked about having sex with with girls younger than him, like my age, like as a former bond and but I'm like bro like it with my mom.
Dude.
But anyway, Yeah, so I think he growing up. He just always talked so much shit about being in a relationship and like, I don't know, like having a a female compent that can you have obligations towards you know what I mean?
How old are you, Papa John? I am twenty, you're twenty, You're twenty? Okay, Well, Papa John. Here's the thing. I've been thinking about this a lot, because you know, I've been thinking about my parents, and I've been thinking about, you know, things in my life that I don't like about myself and how or or or you know, like
why am I the way I am? And I look at my parents and I think about their their lives and their situations and and and it is it is informative, right, and looking your parents is a good way to inform you of how you guys be where you are. But here's the kicker, and here's the thing, And it actually can be helpful because, like, here's the thing. You saying, I'm cheating on my girlfriend and it's my dad's fault. Is this way of like alleviating responsibility for your actions
and putting it on your dad. Now here's the thing and here's the thing. Though, here's the thing. It actually is like helpful to use your parents and think about your relationships with your parents, to think about your upbringing, to understand why you are the way you are, and go and go into your head and be like, Okay, it's not my fault necessarily that my brain has been programmed to be more inclined to act certain ways or like do certain things, but it is your responsibility to
fix it. Do you know what I'm saying? So so the way the fact that your brain, yeah, I mean, I mean, there's you know you might be you're it sounds like you're a sex addict. I don't when I'm not going to put that on you, but but uh is that accurate?
I guess I like, A ah, yeah, I guess it yeah, I mean.
A so, so listen, listen, here's the thing. Your compulsions and the ways that you view real relationships and whatnot, they're totally yes, of course their informs is pretty significantly by your parents, but that but it's still your responsibility to you know, do your to to to handle it right, to do well by your girlfriend by not cheating on her, to just realize that you can't really be in a healthy relationship with somebody until you focus on fixing these
things that are wrong with you. Okay, you can't, you can't, so you can, so you can, you can, it's helpful. So you can think about, oh, my dad with fuck hookers and talk to me about about it and cheated on my mom and that's set a really bad example for me, and you can go okay, and you can use that as part of why, as part of your understanding and fixing the way that you are. But you can't use it as an excuse. You can't use it
as a deflection. Like you know, at the end of the day, like you know, uh, we we we we live our lives. We have our things about ourselves that we need to fix and deal with. And you do the first step in doing it is is to take a responsibility and go, yeah, I have like fucked up sexual compulsions that I need to, uh you know, deal with, and in the meantime, I don't want to. I don't want to hurt this other person that I care about, So I'm going to not be in a relationship with them.
I'm not going to cause more pain because yeah, I guess that's what.
I guess.
That's what Like I really wanted to ask you, was so she she's aware of like i'd say, probably like six times, six different instances. So I guess my question is, like, is this just too because I don't know, this is gonna sound weird to people listening, but I think I do love her like I do love her, I think I do. Well, I do, I guess I do. But so ideally, in like a perfect world, I would be with her and not fuck prostitutes her girls like my dad,
you know. So so I guess my question is should I is this just Should I just like just kind of tell her about what I'm dealing with and just end it because I feel like the fact that I know she she knows about so much and she's still here. I feel like it kind of you know, like I I know, I'm a shitty person saying this, and I talk to my friends about all the time. And actually we're technically on like a break right now, like.
A week break or so, so and this I don't I don't.
I feel bad saying this because I I I say all the time, I don't like to tell people what to do. And then you you could probably you could probably find me saying that and then put a clip compilation of a about uh uh a hundred times that I've told people what to do. But but look, here's my here's my opinion is your It sounds to me from what you are telling me, that you are not ready,
you are not ready commit to somebody. And and if you really do, truly, truly, if you really do love this girl, then you don't want to hurt her and you don't want to put her in a fucked up you know, so you don't you don't want to put her through emotional pain. And so I mean, take take what that information I would. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I'm going to use those things. I just I'm going to say that you should use those things. That I just said to inform your decision.
Yeah, I guess, I guess I know what I need to do for a while.
I just yeah, yeah, because and this this girl, I mean, she sounds sweet as hell, that she uh hasn't kicked your fucking ass yet after after knowing about all this.
Yeah, no, it's definitely I mean, well, I mean it's gone there, but you know what I mean.
But yeah, hold is.
She nineteen gonna turn twenty?
All right? Because yeah, I mean she doesn't deserve like all this, all this bullshit, And like that's another that's sort of another part. And I know it's hard, but it's sort of another part of the taking responsibility thing is to be like, I gotta fix, I gotta fix. I gotta prioritize fixing what's fucked up about me, you know. And and also you need to reframe it because to say, to say it's your dad's fault is not is a bad framing. You understand that, right, I do understand.
So should I try to like abstain then or abstain from from sex?
Oh, you're asking me, how do you're asking me how to solve this issue?
No?
No, I'm asking you should I because should you should should you stop cheating on your girlfriend?
Yes?
Yes, but after okay, so after that's dealt with and uh with how I think most people would see fit?
Well, okay, what then after that?
Yeah?
What then? What then? Uh? Well, if I were you, I would go to therapy.
Mm hmmm.
That's probably a good idea. Go see a real therapist and you see you understand why you have Okay, so that's the thing, right is you your dad was fucked up, and you want to understand why you have these weird, uh fucked up compulsions and bad views on sex relationships, and then how you unlearned them. That's a good that's a good question. I don't know. I bet a therapist could help you do that better than I could, But
I will say I think that it's better. It's a good idea for you to to uh not be in a relationship until you figure these issues out.
Yeah, I agree too, I agree.
Geck, Papa John, Well, I'm gonna let you go go go get back to work.
Yep, yep, you know it's actually perfect timing. It's that eleven minutes right now, so I think will be good.
Cool? Any what anything else do you want to you wanna you sound like you have a band? You want to plug? You want to plug a band.
Listen and listening to a lot of Title Fight recently.
So okay, I don't know what that is, so I'm probably not going to check it out. But I'm glad that you. I'm glad you got to oh plug. Thanks, take care man, you too, love be good? Hi there? What's your name? John Well? John Good? Good to hear from you. What's up? How's life? How can I get you to live?
So?
Pretty much? My life has been crazy for the past year. Long story short. I paid my rent this month and all my other bills are unpaid and I door dash now. I'm a veteran. I was in the Army for three years and yeah, and my car has major problems. My tags expired since November, my car insurance not existent anymore, and I have a broken engine mount for like three months now. So I was like, I'm in a bad position. I have a little two year old and stand for that little man, you know.
Mhm, Yeah, that sucks.
It does suck.
I sorry to hit you with Sorry to hit you with the damn that sucks. No, I mean se it's real well, well, okay, let me let me say this to you at the very just at the beginning, just so that I don't waste any of your time. Is there a particular way that you would like me to
assist you, Like, is there anything? Is there a particular aspect of anything that you want to talk through, or that you want the perspective of of of of a lizard who doesn't know you, or or anything like that, like how can I best be of of gecko service to you on this phone call?
Honestly, I just I really wanted to vent and I've been watching you live stream for like a very long time, and you're just positive and I appreciate you listening to me. You know, I don't expect anything out of anybody. I just honestly just wanted to get it out, okay, and thank you?
What what what branch of the army or or I guess is the army is a branch? Right?
Yeah? I was a military police officer.
And did they do you get any money from that?
Like?
Do they give you money for being a veteran?
Uh?
Yeah, so I got out for with PTSD, so I get fifteen hundred a month. But I that's not enough to pay my whole rent. I was in Florida, so it's expensive.
Before I was gonna say nice, before you said the PTSD part.
Oh, I actually survived the school shooting in Yeah. Yeah, crazy stuff. Man, she got real.
Was it one of the ones that was on the news.
Yeah, seventeen people February fourteenth, twenty eighteen.
Oh my god, you were at Douglas. Oh my god, what were you? Were you and you were in high school then?
Yeah?
I was a senior.
Oh my goodness. I thought the PTSD is the PTC from that ors or from the army both.
I had PTSD from that first and I when I was in service, from basic training all all the way throughout every unit that I was in, I got harassed by my upper class and like my sergeants, my NCOs and like they were pretty much like we would be at a shooting range practicing, right, that's what I had to do for my MOS Military Police, and my sergeant would be like, oh watch out for that private. He looks like he's not going to aim at the target. Like I was harassed throughout my time and service and
made my PTSD worse. I guess, but I'm doing.
Someone someone take this girl to Disney World.
Please, someone take me to Disney.
Well, I'm sorry to hear all that. When did you have your you get two years ago?
What happened?
You had your kid two years ago?
Yeah? My son was born August sixth.
And is dad still around?
Uh No, he's not. He lives with his parents. And when we separated, I was going through really like I didn't know where I was going to live, and my brother let me stay in his really expensive studio apartment and then he ended up moving out and I took over the lease. So it kind of worked out because I didn't have to pay for class and security. But like the monthly rent is super super high, but it was my only option at the time. But we'll make it it work, you know.
So all right, So do you have are you looking for a job or do you have a job or.
I'm looking for a job, but it's it's so hard, Like I have a secret clearance, I have a clean background check, I'm like a business woman social media marketing. Like I'm in college for to get my bachelor's in business administration. But it's so hard to get a job nowadays.
Man, So you're taking care of a kid, You're going to school and you're trying to work.
Yeah, Anti my brothers and ficks my car.
It sure is it? Sure is well? I I well, I mean, honestly, the fact that you haven't thrown your hands up in defeat. I commend you for sincerely.
The only reason I haven't done that is because I have my little one. That's He's my reason the tough and through the darkest times.
Do you have family? Do you, like, do your family in where you live in Florida?
Yeah, my mom and my brother A little extra twist because why not. I was adopted from birth, so I've never met my birth mom at birth day. And I have twelve siblings, but I've never met Mmm.
Do you uh do you desire to meet any of them?
I mean I've talked to them, like you know, like over the phone, on a messenger or whatever, but like I just I don't have time. It's not like a priority right now, but yeah, you know sometimes in the future.
I mean, do you have friends? I guess I'm just asking that. Do you do you have anybody in your life who who uh you know you can get support from.
Yeah, I'm actually sitting next to one of my best friends. I've I've known her for sixteen years?
Very nice? What's her deal?
Herdal?
Here you go, Hi, Lyle, I'm so excited.
Oh hey, what's all you sound? You know, you sound like a cheerful person. I've You've literally spoke at a single word and I'm already getting that vibe.
Oh.
Yes, I'm a pastry chef. My name is Vanessa.
You're a pastry chef named Vanessa. Yeah, imagine I'm imagining strawberry shortcake on the other end of the phone.
Pretty much.
We've known each other for sixteen years and it's just it's been a ride.
What's what's up with you?
Are you?
How's your life going?
It's going good. I work at a job that's been stable. I'd like a hotel. It's like a resort. I make croissants and bagels every day. I think I'm going to become a bagel because I make way too many.
You're going to become a bagel?
Yeah?
My goal in life?
Your life continue?
Oh no, my goal in life is own an edible bakery.
Aren't all bakeries theoretically edible?
Yeah?
But with more like with cannabis.
Medical hmm, can you get can you get our friend Hear a job making the cakes? Yeah, let's do that. Why don't you guys make cakes together? That could be a cool.
Succom No, it would be we could be like two broke girls, but instead do something.
How did you and Sky first meet?
Through elementary school?
We hated each other.
It was really funny, but then we ended up being like we are, We're like sisters.
Now. What was it that made you guys realize that you don't hate each other and you actually desire to be best friends for life.
I think it was just it was.
There's just something about like her and me, like we used to take on each other for like just dumb little things, but then like one day we looked at each other in the face, You're like, you're all right. It was kind of funny. It was like a moment.
That's nice. Some of the best friendships begin that way of of of you just feeling thinking the other person sucks, or or like with guys like they'll they'll they'll beat the ship out of each other first and then become best friends.
Yeah, that's pretty much.
That was That was it.
She would stick up for me in school and it's really sweet.
That's nice. How what do you It sounds like she's going through a lot right now and you're you're there to help her.
Yeah, it's been good. We've been door dashing. But I like to look at like if the glass is like half empty or half full, I'm just happy there's water in a glass.
That's my perspective on life.
I like that. It's true, right, it's true. I'm happy there's water in the glass. Anytime some fucking bullshit is going on, I'll i'll uh, I'll go on YouTube and I'll watch videos of people who have no legs and I'll be like, yeah, I have legs. Legs are cool. My water, My water is legs.
Mm hmmm.
Uh, you got her?
Can I talk to cut to uh to Sky again?
Hello?
Hi Sky? Where are you guys right now? Are you at your your the studio apartment?
Uh?
No, Actually we're parked outside of a Wendy's.
Oh well, that's nice. That's a great event. And is there is there a kid there? Where's the kid?
Baby daddy has them tonight?
Okay, all right, so you maintain a a a a relationship with the baby daddy, but not you know, you guys aren't dating or friends.
No, but everything is good. It's very cordial, thankfully good. Good.
Yeah, because that can that can be a nightmare sometimes. Well, I'm glad you have your friends that you can go to Wendy's with. I mean, that's all. That's all you. That's one of the great pleasures of life. I liked what she said. I don't care if the glass is half full or half empty, as long as there's water in it.
Yeah, there's water. There's water.
Good.
Thank you for hearing me out.
Yeah, of course, let me do this. I does the chat have any questions any questions from the chat for these two? Any questions from the chat to John and John. One person wants to know if you guys are stoned.
No, I am what the cookie has been through?
If you've never been baked?
Are you getting any help? Someone wants to know, are you getting any help from like a veteran organization or anything like that.
No?
Is that a thing you can do?
So I've tried in the past, but it takes like very very long and they just never got back to me. So there's big Everyone thinks that there's so many resources for veterans, and like when you go to like a supermarket. It'll be like, oh yeah, don't eat your change, or there are veterans. No, there's really not a lot for us. But it's okay. We're doing amazing.
What are their favorite kind of bagels?
What's your favorite type of babel?
I love a poppy seed bagel, which sounds crazy, but I like how like it's not overwhelmed with other flavors. So I like to put like flavorful cream cheese on my bagels, like strawberry.
All right, we'll take one more. Give us one more question, chat, give us one more question. Uh, have you someone wants to ask if you've thought about putting your baby in a mind to make extra money.
Oh no, I don't.
I don't think so. I mean, I don't think that would be a go to option. But do be noticed.
You know what, you're a good mother, John. If any if anything, I hope you go to bed tonight. That because you didn't put your child in a mine.
Yep, no, we're not doing that.
If I had a child and somebody knocked on my door and I was like, you could make a lot of money by putting him to work in the mines, he'd be he'd be in the minds, But thank you so much. Is there anything else either of you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
We love you?
Oh thanks guys, Stay safe, stayed liar. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try you guys as well. Have a good night you as well. You know what, maybe I'll go into the mines. The minds don't sound that bad. The minds don't sound that bad. I can handle the fucking stupid minds. Hey, folks, this is Lyle. I am very excited to announce that I am going back on tour in twenty twenty four to do Therapy Gecko Live all
across the country. If you've never been to one of my live shows before, they're basically like giant group Gecko therapy sessions where people from the audience come on stage to talk to a gecko about whatever they want, just like we do right here on the podcast. Plus I mix in a few stories and presentations and little tidbits from my own life. Tickets are available right now at Therapy geckotour dot com, or you can find the link in the episode description. I'm announcing many more cities in
the second half of the year, but right now. Tickets are on sale four Phoenix, Arizona, Louisville, Kentucky, Saint Louis, Missouri, Orlando, Florida, Tampa, Florida, Miami, Florida, Boston, Massachusetts, Denver, Colorado, Syracuse, New York, Albany, New York, Hartford, Connecticut, Las Vegas, Nevada, Salt Lake City, Utah, Nashville, Tennessee, Huntsville, Alabama, Chicago, Illinois, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, San Jose, California, San Francisco, California, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
And you can get tickets for all of those cities at therapy geckotour dot com. If you didn't hear me say your city, you can still go to the link and hit the RSVP button to get notified for when I do come to your city in the second half of the year. This is my third tour so far, and I think it's gonna be sick, so I hope to see you there. Thanks, Hello, Hi.
There, Oh shitke I wasn't ready for this.
How you doing, man, I'm doing good man. How are you. I'm going to give you a name, I'm going to call you. I'm gonna call you Jonathan.
John, Jonathan sounds good.
John. All right, you texted me something. I thought it was interesting. You said, my name is John, I'm twenty eight. I'm from Puerto Rico. Is that true or is that where you're calling from?
No, that is true. Yeah, I'm here, I'm born and race here.
Very cool.
It might be one of the few.
You got it, but they're not a lot of us, but you got a few.
It's okay, Okay, Hello, I'm about to sound extremely ignorant right now. San Juan is in Puerto Rico.
Right, that is correct?
Yeah, okay, I got I got Puerto Rico and Costa Rica because they're but they're they're both reeks. Yeah, so I got them confused a lot. Uh. Yeah, I might. I might go to San Juan. I might go to San Juan. I have a little gap in my touring schedule. I might go to San Juan.
Please do please come.
Show.
Yeah, I'm in San Juan.
Okay, all right, cool. Maybe you can help me find the best butter fingers in San Juan, Puerto Rico. You said to me, I recently found out why I cry every time I see a duck.
Yes, I know it sounds insurd, but that is correct, Greg. I mean, may I start the story because went to Okay, so I was in in one of the hotels were having someone area and I was there and then they have this pond with like the coy fish and like ducklings and whatnot. And I started crying. And this had happened from like the last fourteen years of my life, but for me it was always like a happy like happy years, like oh, there's some cute little ducklings and whatnot.
But my mom told me that. She was like, oh, having you got over that?
And I was like, over what.
And she was the one that told me and recalled me, and I was like, oh my god, you're kidding the mom. That really happened, and it was true. Okay, let's go back. When I was about four, my mom got us some ducklings for Easter, and living here in Puerto Rico, especially by that time, I lived like it was running in the mountain area, so I didn't have like ponds or anything like natural rivers. And with my little duckling, I
wanted him to swim. As the four year old, the first place that I thought of was a toilet, and well.
You know what, happened from here, you flushed the duck down the toilet.
In my four year old mind, I didn't. I thought only poop flushed down the toilet.
I didn't.
I didn't think other from that, I didn't think that anything else would right down.
Yeah, you thought there was a scanner in there that would reject anything that wasn't shad.
I don't know, a mesh field or something. I don't know.
Wow, man, I mean, I hope this. I hope it doesn't make you feel any better, But I hope this might not make you feel better. But that duck died a just a horrible death. It died drowning, and.
I the thing is, I really hope it was quick.
But the saddest part of the story that my.
Mom's recalls, I spent like four days after that feeding him bread through the toilet because I apparently thought he was stuck down the pipe and still alive.
That's actually very sweet of you, I know, right.
About also cruel.
That's what I That's what I told the caller in the text. I was like, it's really like a terrible story, but the same way, it's like really funny, and as you said, it has a little.
Droplets off wholesome inside of it.
Do you.
What do you think you can do to repent for this?
I don't know.
I thought about maybe getting a little dockling for myself, of course, keeping it away from the toilet, but I recently like thought about it, and here in Puerto Rico you have, like it's really easy to get a little dockling for yourself. So I was thinking about getting something from the thing is, I have a husky and I don't know how they're gonna get along.
I mean, that would be horrible if you bought a duck to make up for the one you killed and then it just got killed again by your dog. Yeah, it's gonna maybe they'll maybe they'll be friends. Like like I'm trying to what's the dog like? Woods Woodstock? Woodstock is a Is he a duck? What the fuck is he? He's a bird?
Oh?
Is that like that? I think that it's a geese. But like the one line, no that.
The wood snoopy and woodstock, the Charlie Brown guys.
Oh oh oh yeah, yeah, you mean like okay that gut Yeah, sorry, I got a little confused because I know there's a geese that's like trending on the web, like online or something.
I'm sorry, did you just say that like geese? I'm sorry, do you say that geese are trending on the web.
I mean, not geese, just one geese that I've seen like around the internet that he's like an indoor geese and he lives like inside the house, and it's like really friendly with like the cats that also lives in that side the house.
Here's what you do. You get a duckling and you raise it to be an internationally famous social media influencer, brand deals from all kinds of duck apparel websites, and you just give this duck the most rock star lifestyle it could possibly dream of, and that will make up for drowning the other one in diarrhea.
H I I'll think about it.
So Noise Tolate's involved with this new duckling.
There was a guy on TikTok who he had a monkey that would like open presents and the monkey died. It was sad.
That sounds horrible.
That sounds really horrible.
I don't know why I told that story. It didn't really add to the conversation. But is there anything else that you want to say to thank you for telling this story. I I where should it's if I go to San Juan and I want to interview people and and and find out what's what the word is on the street is in Puerto Rico. They speak Spanish there, right, Yeah.
Mostly Spanish, but we have like eighty percent of people very lingual.
By now, I can speak a little the poco.
I see a little bit of here, A little bit of that.
I got you. But like I told you, over here now about eighty nine percent of ninety percent of people ready by lingual.
All right, cool, I'll go down there. I want to see what's going on.
Of course, John, I would recommend the old San Juan district, a really close to yeah, really close to the airport and a lot like super busy.
John, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Uh well, I wasn't even I wasn't even thinking about getting called tonight because it's my first time calling. But uh well, anybody that's trying to call here to talk to the GEK is not that hard. And I also want to appreciate you GEK.
For anything that you do.
Thanks man, thank you. I'm trying my best out here. I'm no, I'm no duckling, but I'm geking as hard as I can.
Of course, you would swim down up the stream of the toilet if you were with duckling. I know you.
I drowned and pissed. Thanks for calling, John.
Of course, I'll be the first one at your show if you come here to Puerto Rico, oh, at public questioning, I'll be there.
Okay, all right, I'm gonna do it. I don't know if I'll do a show, but I'll definitely come down there to fuck around.
Please, I'll be honest.
It's awesome, beautiful, Take care man, you too.
Have a great night.
Hello.
Yeah, Hi, I'm gonna call myself.
Veronica, Veronica, Veronica, What is going on with you this evening? How may how might I get you today?
Well, I've been seeing for a while on Instagram, so I was like, I made a little bit of help from somebody outside my circle with my current situation. I'm thirty two and I'm married. I've been married for a while now, we're going on ten years. I got married relatively young, I would say, but I'm Latina, so usually we kind of get married pretty young. And I was like twenty six basically or less. I think basically it's been almost two years that our relationship has basically changed
the dynamic. Like I met him being students, and we met literally because we smoked weed when we had like the same crew, and one night we basically drank too much and from that night on we never slept apart. So you know, it was fun. It was very fun. But then when we moved back to my home country, things has really changed, Like he became this I would say, sexist type of guy, like controlling, boring. We used to go on hikes and into the beach and now it's
like it's very boring. And I consider myself young, and you know, I'm a doctor also, so I want to enjoy as much as I can my life, right, So a lot of things have been happening from this, respecting my friends and my family, and I permitted it unconsciously. I would call him manipulation. And on October he called me unfaithful, like I was unfaithful that I was with another man, and that that's not true. I've been I
mean back then it wasn't true, you know. So when he called me that, I just decided to go ahead and cheat on him, and I did, and I mean, I don't feel the same way. Even prior to that event, I haven't felt the same way sexually towards him. You know, I don't want to be with a person, but I don't feel attractive to anymore. And now that I've had other experiences, it's like even harder decision if I should
divorce him or now. I mean, not only that he accused me of being unfaithful, he literally denegrated me, like he said that he doesn't like me. On more than one occasion, he called me that I was the wife ever, that I was a horrible person, and I even left my own home, which is mine actually, and you know,
it just felt like I had to get away. And it's been a little bit hard to decide if I really want to get a divorce or out because it's so much years with this person, and then there's this other guy, this thing I a cheated with, which I
got lucky. I would say, I used bumble and I met this person and we kind of clicked, you know, and we didn't know anybody around each other, and he's also in a relationships, so it starts like for me, it's only sexual, but now I feel that this guy, the side guy, is kind of getting a little bit
of feelings towards me. So I feel now I have like a double trouble, Like I don't know if I want to stay with my husband and like miss out on life opportunities that I've been missing out for two or three years, or just start meeting people, like I don't know if this is just part of my friends. I don't know if it's just because I'm I'm horny right now, like I want to know other people, or if it's generally that I'm not in love with my husband anymore because he literally denegated me, Like, so.
I'm completely said you said two different things, and maybe they're both true. But you said your husband is being manipulative, but you were also saying that you were mainly upset because he became boring. Was it just a combination of those Yeah.
No, yeah, yes, a combination completely, completely, completely like he he wasn't like this at all at all, you know, I did. I would say grow up a little, but you know I was. I'm always the type of girl to have a lot of guy friends and and literally be a guy like you know, I'm a game where I am a nerd and whatnot. And you know when once we moved to my hometown, I feel that, you know, and again I am a doctor. So he caught. I think he got like intundated with the whole situation. But
you know, that's not my problem. Like you know, at the end of the day, I don't even like he tried to even like buy me at a point, like trying to spoil me, and that's not even it.
What's what's your name again, Veronica? Remember that? Well, Veronic? I don't want to. It's very hard to answer these without telling people what to do, but I'll try my best. I mean, it sounds like you're unhappy with your husband's Yeah, yeah.
That's and I do love him, but I'm not in love with him and I'm not and I feel and it sounds.
Like he is, like and I he doesn't know that you cheated on him with this guy.
I mean, he knows I did it once.
That's time more than one, So he knows you did it once, but it's been more than.
Once because he because he chucked my phone like like this is.
This is very long, you know, Veronica, Like I mean this I mean I was always loyal, like Ronikay, you.
Don't, I don't. I don't even know. I don't even know if you called in to hear my perspective, because you ever, there's nothing I'm going to say to you that you don't know.
That's the thing. I don't know. I do know when I don't know. I do know when I don't know. That's the thing, like like even the other day, but you know he did. I forgave him on October partially, not really.
And then let's let's let's let's slow down, slow down for a second, because you can keep adding detail. You can, you can keep adding detail after detail after detail, but it's not going to actually really like so like, so you've been with this guy for ten years, yeah, okay, so since you were twenty two years old.
Yeah, he's a one, you're less than me. He's thirty one, all right, So.
You've been in this relationship for you've you've been you have really very no experience being single as an adult exactly, okay, And you're unhappy with this this guy that you're currently with so much so that you're cheating on him and seeking our relationships with these other guys and you're like, oh, is it because I'm horny or because it's going to connect? And maybe it's a combination of all those things. And again, I don't want to tell you what to do, because
you know you. I'm just on the phone with you here, and this is a ten year relationship, and everything is uh, you know, for as much as red, for as much as Reddit and and the internet and whatever have their their thoughts about things. You know, everyone feels differently about their own individual situation. But but look, you know, I don't think you need to hate yourself for having the feelings of wanting to explore that which you have not explored.
But the way that you're doing it right now is not going to be helpful to anyone, and including you, you know, yeah, and you and you know that again, I'm not telling you anything that you don't know.
It's just as tough to I'm scared of just like leaving him and then like in a way being alone.
I don't know, I don't know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And and and and I don't know. The streets are not the best, neither you know, what's the best, like what's available neither you know, I'm always going to be in a hospital. I'm always occupied. I'm never home. You know, I'm not. I'm not going to be.
Here's the thing, why, Here's what I don't understand. Why is being with something? Why is being in a relationship that you're unhappy with better than being alone?
I know, I know, I know, I'm so like, I'm so scared of.
And also and also like for his like if you really love this guy, like for his sake, I mean, you're throwing this guy for a fucking I don't know what his deal is and I don't know why he's going crazy because I'm not talking to him right now, and wise I wouldn't know. But you know, I mean for you're throwing this guy for a loop too.
Yeah, yeah, I mean I I weren't honest. I We're actually on like a break or like I asked for a break. But you know, we're married, so I'm just living my house kids. Oh no, thank god, No, I can't right.
No.
We do have a dog though, but you know, and literally the dog is almost the same age as our relationship. He's nine years old, you know, So.
That would be funny that that actually is funny because there's the idea of staying I've heard of I've heard of people staying together for the kids, but never staying together for the dog.
It is something that I did speak to him, you know, because I did tell him that I wanted this break. And I don't know how long it's going to be, and I don't know if it's gonna like, I don't know the end results. I don't know if I want to leave him or if I am going to stay with him. And I feel it's like you said, like I feel unstaying with him because of the history and not the present. It's just such a hard decision.
Like yeah, so so you you again, We're not like this is This is not a decision that requires the discovery of new information. This is a decision that requires a little bit of faith, a little bit of courage.
You know, everybody, I'm not I'm not.
An expert in either of them.
No, of course, of course, no, no, no, no no. But you know, I wanted to because you know, I have a lot of people around me that know him, and it's like, oh, you know, you should.
Tell me, tell me this what. Okay, you have clearly talked about this with your friends and family who are familiar with you and your relationship and what do they have to say?
You know, I haven't told him completely what he did, what he did to me, because it would just be like leave him. They would definitely be like leave him. It was basically besides, it was a manipulative behavior that I don't understand how I didn't notice it. You know, Like he would tie me. If I would be in my dad's house, he would be like, how long are you gonna stay there? And I'm like, I'm my dad's house.
I can stay as long as I want. Or you know, he would be very jealous of my friends and and told me that my best friend was controlling and that my other best friend was a whore and then my other good best like male best friend. He knew that I was going to leave him for my best friend. I'm like, you know, and I don't understand how I've permitted all that. I don't know how.
He yeah, yeah, and there's even more.
I that's the worst part, Like.
You can, really you can, you can. I'm I'm this stuff is so hard because I'm no expert on relationship, navigating relationships and on navigating like but but but Veronica, and and and I'm maybe being hypocritical saying this, but like it's Vernica, it's like being it's so, life is too short for you to be this fucking miserable. You know what I mean? Life is, life is too short
for you to be this fucking miserable. And so you can either sit on the fence and and just keep being miserable, or like do what you gotta do to to to progress your life forward and not be living in constant anxiety and constant fear and constant guilt and constant all this ship, you know, and and I don't know, and I don't know what's going on with this guy, and I don't know what his problems are. But that's what this is where I'm on the phone with you
right now. So like just just I'm not gonna tell you what decisions to make, but just like you you know, you know, I don't I'm not gonna you know what's going on with you right now. There's no further information that you need right Like you're unhappy. What decisions in your are gonna make you more happy? I think you know the answer to those things. And all it takes is you that have the courage to to act. Uh huh. It's a good thing because you don't want to stay
trapped and unhappy forever. People do that, and they'd be cool.
If you and I don't want to do that.
So you don't want to do that for him to and for him to because if you love if you love this guy here, this is the other fucking thing about relationships. If you love this guy, if you really do, if you mean that, if you love this guy, you'll make the decision that's best for his happiness too.
So and I think that I'm.
Will probably be the one that's best for years as well. And I don't know what that decision is. I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life, but you know, just just think about all this ship Veronica Okay has that is like, is any of this helpful for you? Is any of this resonate with you?
And no, no, yes, no, he's definitely because it's crazy because I do know what I want. But then when I spoke to him, I was very sincere. When I spoke to him, he did like he does trye like I feel either him and every living in me again, or he really wants me back or both and and it's a little bit scary. It's very scary, like it just it throws you off. I mean it throws me off, like that's that's how. And it's sad because we were we were a really beautiful couple, like we were we
were again. I was faithful for almost the whole time years, right, you know I would, I wouldn't, Yeah, I would. I don't know.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go, Yeah, look for happiness.
We don't get married, Thank you by anything too.
I don't know. I don't know how I think. I don't know how life works. Never goes on the line thinking your phone calls every night.
Everything goes to what his eye's teaching you aloud your life.
But he's not really an expert.