Hello, is this the motherfucking gecko?
This is the motherfucking gecko.
Oh my fucking god. Uh, she goes begging of the call. But oh my god, how you doing? Damn? What the fuck?
How's it going? Matt?
Wait?
You said you have to take another call?
None of those.
Guy keeps calling me, but it's okay. You're more important right now. Going on, Man, how you doing?
Who's this guy that keeps calling you?
My best friend from taught her he can probably be dying, but it's okay. I'll deal with that later.
He's dying, he's dying.
He could probably be dying. I mean, he's on really never calls me this much, but that's not important right now.
How you doing?
Man?
Wait? Your friend, so your friend never usually calls you as much as he's calling you right now.
Ye, yeah, which I don't know why that that never happens. He just called me three times, but I just don''ll call me back later.
Okay, did he text you?
Is he?
Okay?
No, he probably is. Okay, it's probably because we're bidding on the World Cup right now, so it's probably something to do with that. I'm guessing.
Oh, okay, how much you what? What game are you watching? And how much do you got on it? Oh?
My god, man, I'm down like fucking four hundred dollars right now in the World Cup.
Okay, deeper? Are you gonna go deeper? Are you gonna.
Scaring?
Money? Doesn't make money, So I'm probably gonna two hundred dollars more than.
Do you know? What's funny is I don't know, man, I don't I'm not a big I play some poker, but I'm not a big Like sports betting is there?
Yeah?
I mean are there? How how long have you been into sports betting? Is that like a new thing? I feel like it's fucking everywhere.
Well, it's kind of it's a hit and go. H So sometimes like I kind of tie up to do too much because when I tend to gamble on sport's putting, I tend to go crazy. So I'll kind of play for a little bit. I'll lose like five hundred dollars and then I'm like, I won't touch it for like another five months, and then I'll go back to it.
I have a really bad addition with gambling. I would just inveig eventually and I take one hundred dollars rent it up to a thousand, and then I woke up the next day and I'll last it all.
I here's the thing, if you if you go into any betting situation, we've sorry about this before you go into a bad situation. You're like, I have one hundred dollars, Like if you run a hundred. If you go into the casino, right and you have one hundred dollars, you're like and you're like, I'm willing to lose this hundred dollars, And you run the hundred dollars all the way up to one thousand dollars and then you lose it all. That's fine.
You can't get it right, yeah, fight, you can't get.
Mad right now if you run it up to a thousand dollars and then you start to be like, I gotta get back that one thousand dollars, and then you start to lose, and then you lose one thousand dollars more than you came in to play with.
Yeah.
See, as long as you like, don't lose any more than the house money you came to play with.
Fine, that's my tind of rule. I'd only lose house money once I'm up like that. I don't really care on can't lose the house money. I'm like, I gotta go home.
But that's not your rule. For the World Cup. You're down the house money for the World Cup. World Cup.
You know it's different. I've got to make some money.
Why do you have to why? Why is what do you do? You have to make money?
I've got to make some money. I mean, I just I just liked the rush just winning a parlay with the World Cup. And I don't really watch Talker, so betting on the World Cup because all my friends do it now too, so it kind of it's kind of like our thing now, you know, I don't know, you.
Know, it's funny, is you know? It's fun. I'm not really into like like I don't funk with cal she I don't fuck with that stuff. But in my well, yeah, but here's like it's fun in my personal life. I made a bet with my friend my friend, and I went to go I make bets all.
The time within your friends. Okay, okay, in.
My friend group, I made a bet and okay, so I went to go see the movies Toy Story five.
I was actually.
About to ask you about that because I was.
And I was listening to.
I was listening to. I didn't even to catch off. I'm sorry. It was an episode where you talked about how Toy Story three was your favorite movie and how you are nothing like Woody because Woody went back to save Lotso and then Lotso wouldn't say Woody. I forgot what the context or something like that, and you said that was your favorite movie. So I remember I talk to you. I'm gonna ask if you watch Toy Story five.
Multiple things to say that I that scene from Toy Story three. I have talked about it passionately where Woody saves lots of hugging Bear and then lots of hugging Bear doesn't save Woody. It's a beautiful scene. It's a crazy scene that movie. No, nothing that. I don't know if it's one of my favorite movies. I don't really
have favorite movies. I'm like a movie guy, but uh yeah, yeah, no. It's the scene where they're all trapped under like spoons and shit and they're about to get incinerated, and lots of hugging Bear is the reason they're there in the first place, and he's you know, an evil an evil villain, and what what does Woody do because he's a good guy. He saves lots of huggin Bear anyway, and then it's lots of huggin Bear's time to say turn to save Louke Woody and he doesn't do it. So by anyway,
I saw Toy Story five. It was it was fine, It is all right, It wasn't it wasn't life changing. I saw a review for it, well, I saw a review for it that was like, does this movie need to exist? And it's like, but as fuck, it does anything need to exist? That's a stupid it's a stupid loan to watch the movie. I went with my friend. I went with my friend and we had I had I made a bet with him and I bet we bet a dollar. I we bet a dollar. I bet that that they would use the word frequently in the movie.
I bet him, I bet him one dollar that they would use the word frequently in the movie. And it was hard to pay attention because I just kept waiting to see if. I don't know why I picked that word. It was just a stupid word to see if. It was just a fun little bet. And we sat all the way to the end credits scene to see if they use the word frequently, they don't. Then I looked it up. The word frequently is not used in any of the Toy Story movies. Would you believe?
Really is it using any Disney movie?
I'm sure, I'm sure. I'm I'm sure it is. I'm sure.
Yeah, it's okay, but it's.
Yeah.
So I like stupid bets, but uh, and I guess that's what Cal she. I like stupid bets. But this is out of hand. Cal she being like bet on what the weather is and ship?
Yeah, Cal, she's out of hand. You can get it. You could just bet on anything on there, man, You can bet on Trump saying just random words.
And do you do that? Do you do that? Do you get into like betting on the weather and shit like that?
No? No, no, no, no that I think if I had to do that, I would I probably have to uh check myself into somewhere. It's not that bad, okay.
Yeah, who do you got?
Who do you got for the World Cup?
Uh? The World Cup?
I got Spain.
I don't really, like I said, I don't know much about the World Cup, but I got Spain. All I know is you men, you mar MESSI ever know, though, that's all I know.
You texted me and you said I made a married couple get divorced.
I did.
I did?
Uh? So I lied a little bit, but not really. So it turns out up they're not fully divorced, but they're so legally married, but they're not together. I'm with his wife.
Oh you are shit, you made them break up.
Yeah.
So when I had met her, I was going through I was just going through a breakup and I ended up getting drunk and I found her on my Instagram and I was like, you know what, she looks really good. So I dmd her off, like, hey, how you doing. I really want to get to know you. She didn't text me back until like two days later. Mind you, I was really drunk when I texted her, so I don't even remember texting her until I saw her text me back and I was like, oh shit. So we
scheduled date for Vameron Time's Day. We went out to eat, We had a good time. She told me she was single and that she was living with her cousin and that she was out because she's not from here, and so, oh, you know what, that's cool. We went back to her place. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. It seemed like a like a normal place, like it was just her and her cousin living there, but nobody was at the house at the time.
Fast forward.
First day went well, Second day, she ends up wanting to meet up with me, so I told her just come to my house and you could just drive here. So she drove to my house and as she's driving to my house, she told me to come out to like help a part. So I get in the car with her and some guy kind of cuts us off, and uh. As he cuts us off, I'm like, what the I live in a sketchy area, so I'm like, oh, like maybe it's like a neighbor or something like, oh I had it was stork. So she stays in the car.
I get out the car and this guy starts putting a camera in my face talking about who are you? What are you doing with her? Like you know she's married? Da da da, And I'm like, oh fuck, what situations did I just get myself into? So I tried to put it off. I'm like, you know what, I knew she was married, Like no, she's she's with me, Like, don't worry, Like it doesn't matter who her husband is whatever, and I'm not a tall person. I'm like, fine, by wait.
Hold on, hell on, hell on. So you're this guy's this lady's husband cuts you off on the street.
Yeah, yeah, in my neighborhood and your neighborhood.
And then and then you say to him, I don't care who if she's married, she's with me now.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was drunk. I was intoxicated, so I was already and I didn't I didn't want to throw into the bust people like oh what you know, Like, I didn't want to make her look bad. So I was like, yo, fuck it, I'll just play along. That's kind of like I already knew, mind you, I didn't know what the fuck is going on. So I'm like, you know what, Yeah, I knew she's married. Da da da da. And they're like, I just found it funny because I said, I'm five five. This guy's like six something,
so he's tall as shit. So I'm like looking up at him and he has a phone down recording me, and like, turns out I thought this was the friend the whole time. Turns out that was a husband. I didn't know that, And yeah, he was trying to fight me over her, and I was like, like, I'm not going to fight you, like, you know, I don't even know you. Turns out he was in the military the whole time too, and she ended up staying with me after that, and he ended up supposedly breaking up. He
ended up moving out, she moved in with me. Fast forward, I found out they're not even divorced yet. Actually they're still married. You know, yeah, we've been together for about a year now. But that's basically the whole Sorry.
Okay, So it sounds like this was this lady like cheating on her husband with you, or like she she just kind of left.
So it turns out there was some stuff between them that I happened and they weren't no longer together. Like he was sleeping in the living room when she was sleeping in the master bedroom and I saw that, and when I went over there, I saw that just to make sure. So I kind of because like her room, it looked like it was just a girlroom, only she had only her clothes and her stuff was there, and so it kind of made sense. So I took her word for it. I decided to believe her, and yeah, so.
Okay, and are you afraid has the ex husband their husband? I guess, since they're still together, has he has he entered the fray again at all?
Actually presentally. I'm not gonna lie. I may have cheated, and so I found out that what besides the boy I made something, something may have happened. And I found out that they were actually on the phone for like two hours, not that long ago. So I guess they still have communication in that aspect.
Okay, pause for a second. So you so you cheated on this Okay, so you cheated on this lady? And then big five? Wait, what is you cheating on this lady have to do with that? What you're saying.
Even uh well, I'm guessing that's why was the reason she called her for like two hours?
Oh yeah, all right, so it's okay, so this lady, all right, so back up for a second. This lady leaves her husband for you, then you cheated on her, and then she goes back to her husband.
Kind of yes, so she was still living with me, but she was in communication with him.
Why did you cheat on this lady?
You know what? I hate to say it I had to be that person. It was alcohol. It wasn't me I have a serious problem with alcohol. I didn't really cheat on her. I guess I kind of did in a way. Uh, there was like a I was on Instagram and I saw a girl and I knew and I slipped with hard eyes and we sent a few messages. But that was it. That was all it was.
And yeah, do you like do you like? Do you like this? Do you like this woman that you're dating?
I did? I did at one point, I really did, but now not so much for actually breaking up. She's actually leaving me next month.
Oh why is she?
Why?
Why is it next month? Is it like a lease rent thing?
Uh?
No, no, no, no no. So so we have a whole we lived somewhere else completely how she moved it with me. But she's leaving and I'm going to be living by myself. Uh. The oason she's leaving next month is because she has to wait for her school to end, and so she'll be able to leave next month.
Why did you stop liking this woman after a year?
Honestly, she was a lot different when I first met her than when I thought she is now. I thought about the future and what it could be like me and her, and it's more of a financial thing, if I say, if I can say, because when she lived with me the first couple of months I had her, I told her she doesn't have to pay anything. She can just take care of her bills and I have to worry about nothing. Fast forward, after it was time for us to move out, I asked if she had money.
She didn't have any money saved up, even though she didn't pay nothing for a year. Well, actually we've been together almost tears, Actually that's sorry. So for that first year that we lived together at the old place, she didn't save up any money and she was just really bad financially and I was basically paying for both of us. And so when we moved I told her like, hey, like, it's gonna get a bit more rat, like I'm gonna need you to start helping out if you can. And
it's still the same thing. She's just really really bad with money. She makes really bad decisions. And I asked myself, if that's someone I want to be with moving forward. If not, then what's the point. So I kind of sat down and I told her, I was like, hey, like, I don't want to do this anymore, you know, I think it's better off if you go your own way and I go my own way.
Mm hmm, okay, So it was primarily just like uh uh, if you did not want to go, you didn't want to split bills, not.
I guess split bills, but like I guess take care of another person at the same time as I'm taking care of myself.
If that makes sense, that makes sense. So what's your uh what do you what do you want the future to look like? What do you what's moving What does it look like moving forward? For me?
Moving forward, it looks like I want to actually get my I kind of want to get my shit together. Actually, I'm working on getting back into school so I could become a pilot. So and that costs a lot of money, so I'm trying to take care of that. So right now, looking forward for me, the next year is probably going
to look like I'll move out of here. I'll move into like a little studio apartment, or I'll share a bedroom with someone so I don't have to pay that much, and then I'll split all my money I have into becoming a pilot. I love to travel. I've traveled plenty of places. I've been to Japan, I've been to Kenya, and so I kind of want to just do that.
You're like, here, you're gonna a commercial airline pilot.
Yeah, yeah, commercial airline pilot. That's probably later down the road. I would probably become like a trainer at first. I think you need like a certain amount of hours, and then you go down to Houston, I believe, to get your license to become a like like a like a certified training like a trainer pilot to get your hours.
What's going on down in Kenya? That's that's on my list.
Uh, Kenya, Kenya, Kenya. Honestly, man, I was in Kenya for like twenty four hours. Kenyon was really cool. I stayed in the sketchy area. And then they have like little hotels you can go to like they're like normally resorts, Like you could just go up in there and you can just hang out, get drinks. It's it's really nice. You have camels on the beach.
She was crazy camels.
Yeah, yeah, they have camels on the beach. Yeah, they have camels on the beaches. It was really really cool. No, it wasn't Kenya. That was a what was that that was in Kenya? That was Oh my god, it's the coast of Africa. I can't remember because I did a week trip to Turkey, Egypt. It was Mombasa, that's what it was. It was it was Umbasa.
Yeah, why don't you? Can you like patch your friend in?
You want to patch my friend in? Yeah?
I want to see what he had to say.
You want me to give me a second. I think he knows the show. Give me one second.
Okay, it'd be funnier if he didn't know the show. I hope I saw something serious. Yeah it is he is it?
Ryan? Give me teke. Let me look at his location first to make sure.
Worried that. Wait?
Why do you have to look at his location?
Oh?
Because he owns own companies. Sometimes he might be working, so I don't want to call him. Maybe he's had a job site or something.
But he would he But he just called you like three times. They wouldn't be why he's call him back? He called you three times?
Can m.
Okay? How long do you think it will take for you to do this?
All?
Right?
He's gone, Maybe he's gone. Maybe it's is it. Maybe it's ringing on his end. Maybe I'm on hold. It's funny to do to this bit because I'm going to talk to his friend for like two seconds and then or maybe not, maybe this will turn into something I don't know. Is he there?
No, he didn't answer. You know, we go to do the alcohol. He'll call me. I'll call him and then he won't answer, and he'll call me like two hours later, asking what happened?
What's your name again?
Uh?
Loofy, Loofy? You want to call me? Uh no, I uh, I've never watched one piece.
I ever watched one piece? Okay, oh no, that's it. Actually I got start getting for work. It was really cool to talk to you though, what we thought about this moment. So that's that's cool.
It was good talking to you to Loofy. I wish you good luck. I hope you win. I hope you break even on the World Cup. And I'll see you in the universe man.
All right, I'll see you on the universe. Man. How a going okay?
By lufy? See you? Who? I don't really I don't watch I don't really pay attention to the World Cup. What's going on in the World Cup? The World Cup? You know what I know is when people are like, well you got to watch the world it's the World I know I'm not into soccer, but I don't you know what, It doesn't make sense to me when people are like, oh, I'm not into soccer, but I watched the World Cup because you know it's the World Cup.
The logic doesn't make sense. It's like, Oh, I'm not into soccer, but I watch this big soccer event because it's a big soccer event.
You know.
Like it's like if I was like, well, I'm not in the League of Legends, but I watched the finals because you know it's the finals. The logic doesn't make sense. Here's what happens when you have a podcast. You have to have you have to say an opinion about something. All right, let's take another call. Hello. Hello, Hey, what's your name?
Amanda?
Amanda?
Is this GK?
This is the Gecko? What's up, Amanda?
Hey, this is tired. I didn't think you would respond. I thought I'd missed it. Nothing. I'm just shit home cleaning and I was doing schoolwork for new classes that are starting. We're get you up to you?
What am I up to? I'm staring out the window. I'm looking at the sky and that's just about it for me. Amanda, what uh? What did you want to talk about today, Amanda.
So there's a couple of things. The first is I'm in a relationship that's like it's been we've been together like six years. But I'm a very I'm a very active, busy person. Like I grew up with a navy the old father. Like, my home was not messy. I didn't even know what a messy home looked like as a child on So things just have a place, and that's how I function. I don't want to let it build up and then spend a whole day devoted to cleaning it up, you know. But to guide that, I'm went.
He's like, oh, I need a list, need a list to do something? How do I know what to do if you don't make me a list, I don't know. Dude, use your eyeballs.
If you don't make him a list.
Right, Yeah, So basically I still have to use all the brain power for anything to get done. So I might as well just do it myself. It'll probably get half asked done if I'm not the one that doesn't doesn't do it.
That's called uh, you know there's a word for that, right, It's a phrase. It's called weaponize it's called weaponized incompetence.
Yeah, that sounds like a very gallid phrase.
My sister told me about that. She was like, that's the one thing that I won't that's like one of the things she doesn't want in her dating life is weaponizing competence, like somebody not doing something because it's like, oh, well, you'll do it so much better, you know, like they're weaponizing they're incompetence to not like do a thing. But okay, so you've been with but you've been with this guy
for a long time. This is not like a fur You've been with this guy for six years, right, So why is it Why is it now that this is coming up.
I think it's because we hit. So we had lived together previously for a few years, but then he got into some trouble with the court system, so he had to get he basically like had to go do this program for like almost a year and a half. So then I was on my own with bull not my own, but I had my kid who's fifteen. I've got a fifteen year old son, and then my dog. Then just me and we It was just nice. It was so nice.
My bed was always made very nicely so I could just slide into a nice fitted sheet when I was ready to way down. Everything was put up. I could relax. I didn't have to worry about this or I wasn't asked what's for dinner when I get off of work.
I gotta be hon It sounds like you hate this guy.
I do you know?
Wait? Wait wait wait wait, what's your what's your? Amanda? Amanda? Well, I'm so curious. I am so cure with my mother. Why, okay, it sounds like you hate this guy. I mean that you sounded like you were so stoked that he was gone. Why why have you been with him? Why have you been with him for so long? If you don't like him this much.
I didn't used to feel this way. I didn't used to feel this way. And I was so devastated when when it got to the point where we had to live separately. But then after a few weeks, maybe like a month or two of it, I got into, like, you know, just a good flow and I had I just realized how how much more relaxed and easy things were and felt. And then all of a sudden he was like, oh, I'm gone, I get to move back. And it was real quick, and I just felt so bad.
I just felt so bad to say no. But now it's just like snowballed into this fucking mountain of resentment.
Mm hmmm.
Like he left to go to the gym. You know how stoked I was for that.
It did. Okay, you gotta you gotta leave this guy? You hate? You do not you hate this guy? How long? How long have you known that you don't like being around this guy?
Probably probably since he moved back into like about eight months?
Eight months? Oh wow? Okay, and the the your your son? That's not his, is it?
No?
No, it's just mine, all right.
Is there any reason to not leave this guy? You don't?
Oh not, other than like making sure all of my finances would be lined up, you know, so it was smooth for my transition to one just one income. But that's about it. And I just feel bad. I just feel shitty about it. Yeah, but I know I'm shitty of me to stay.
Well yeah, of course. I mean, if you don't like this guy, then there's no reason for either of you to be together.
I know, because, like I said in the text, the thought of making a list for being asked for one, you know, and like Hulk movies when he gets so angry and he does that double fist like smash and throws the cars across the cities.
Uh huh, that's what a list.
The thought of making a list makes me feel like doing going and finding a vehicle outside and just fucking smashing it across the universe.
Well, the fact that he says he needs a list is like a wi okay, okay, let me ask you this. Do you want to work it out? Do you want to be like, hey, listen, man, you gotta stop, you gotta not be like this or else I'm gone, Or do you want to just leave?
I mean, I don't I don't think that would work because I've tried that. I did try that a lot. I tried really hard, honestly, just because I I'm a very you know, if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it right, and I'm gonna do it all the way and I'm gonna apply myself. But then it was just like, you know, you can only say something so many times and then you realize this, this isn't gonna change. You're not sorry, You're not going to try, You're not gonna you don't care and I think I don't know
what I think. I think you're just a child.
Yeah, so it's just the financial reasons to not leave pretty much.
Yeah.
M well, I mean, listen, my opinion is of course that like there's no there's just nothing. It's just there's nothing really here. It sounds like, you know, like there's no Yeah. So uh, I mean, if you guys don't have a kid together and there's no reason to really be with each other, then I think it sounds like you're I mean you're not You're not even groveling about it. You're not even like should I or shouldn't I? You're very like, oh, I don't like this guy.
I know, I know. I think the main thing is really just the guilt about it.
Mmm mmm uh, I don't. I don't think you need to be guilty, you know. I mean, I think this guy, I don't really know this guy's deal, right, but like I think I think there. I think the greater guilt is to be found in staying with someone that you don't want.
To be with, right, Yeah, just waste all that time.
Yeah, I think it's a bit of a waste of time. So if I were you, I would just uh, I would relinquish myself of that guilt.
Yeah, okay, I want to talk to you about my dad also, sure, Okay, So my dad, my dad was a seal. Him and my mom were real rocky, and my mom would like leave and then come back, leave, come back because my dad was psycho. That's why I should get that. So for long. My dad retired from the Navy when I was about eight or nine because of their divorce, and all of the family, their parents on both sides all lived in Oklahoma, so we left California for Oklahoma. The second my dad leaves the Navy,
he gets on drugs. He leaves the Navy for a day, I feel like and it was like he just went straight to partying and my dad went crazy. He also raised me and my sister by hisself while on this drug roller coaster life till I was about twelve. It was not a healthy environment at all. It was very, very up and down. You didn't know if it was going to be a happy day or a sad day.
It could be really fun. I mean my dad used to take me to Fort, the preacher's yards and the little town we lived in, or we would go ding ding Dong ditch the mayor. You know, he taught me good life lessons, but that was like more the more time that went by, the very few and in between those kind of good days word But and then when I was twelve, my mom finally got us, and then my dad. I got out of school ninth grade one day and had a voicemail. My dad was like going
to Alaska bye. And then I didn't see him till I was eighteen, which he had gone because he had pretty sure he'd like snitched on somebody or something and he'd gotten himself into a lot of trouble, so he had to leave the area. But finally, like I get to be nineteen, I have my son. My dad decides that means he needs to come back. And he seems to be doing better, you know so, but it's always his cycle. He's good, he gets a job, he does great.
Then you can tell he's like doing drugs again. It'll suddenly take him six hours to show up when you guys have plans, and then it gets like the worse off he is on, you know, the cycle he's going through, he gets pretty awful, like some mean, evil coord person. But I always knew that if my dad had been not on drugs, he would have been the best at ever he's. It's just so crazy the night and day difference him sober or not. And I always had a
lot of like anger issues growing up. It took me a lot to like not be a very angry, mean person, I guess, which I do very well now. I like control myself. I don't freak out. I'm not screaming at people. I just you know, I can't change shit. I just have to let it go. I'm not going to stress about it. But so my dad was always that person I had that I could relate to about it. You know. He knew the kind of like anger I felt inside of my body when I was angry, like nobody else
could ever understand. I could call my dad and say them most awful, just horrible things that I was thinking at the moment, and he would be like, Okay, you feel better, Yeah, cool, thanks, you know, Whereas if I were to call my mom or sister, they'd be like, please don't talk like that, Amanda, that's not very nice,
you know. So that was just I don't know, even though I knew he was shitty, he still understood me and there were still little pieces of him that I had was it was like solid, no matter what he might like, go through his cycle where he's good, bad, falls off, he disappears for a while, but then he comes back. But and every time he goes through a cycle, there's always a girlfriend. And my dad doesn't date women
his age. For instance, right now, he's my dad's sixty five, and I think his girlfriend is a year older than me. She's thirty six or thirty five. So, and my dad's very obsessed about like dying and getting old. And I don't know, it's very weird, but he'll only get younger women.
And what do you mean, I'm obsessed with dying and getting old. But he talks about it a lot.
Oh yeah, the I mean, it's always been a thing he's mentioned throughout life. I can regularly remember having a conversation. He's scared. I think he's scared he's going to go to Hell. My dad's a pretty firm believer in heaven and hell, and I'm not religious really, so that's always been a thing between us. But he's very terrified he's going to die and he'll go to Hell and then that nobody here on earth will remember him.
Whoa and he's told that to you.
Oh yeah, yeah, my dad, He's I've been his little friend that he would just chat with since him and my mom separated, little like dad. It's ridiculous, but then it's understandable because I feel like if you if you're in a religion that you believe punishes people, and based on the things that I know my dad has done, if there was a Hell, I'm I do believe he would probably go wow, yeah, Like I just I don't know.
I don't believe in I don't believe in that kind of stuff because I just feel like, even if there was a god, I don't want to be a part or a follower of something that would create us and know that we have a fucked up life ahead of us, If that makes sense. You know, like a little kid doesn't know that free will is why they're getting beat or you know, like awful things happen to them. It seems like if you try to get an answer about anything like that, they're like, well, do you just have
to give it to God? God knows he wouldn't give you something he couldn't handle. Uh, pretty sure he's doing that all the time. Because I'm seeing lots of people with late school of things they are not able to handle.
So so how often are you do you chat with the guy anymore?
So we've always throughout all of these years, been pretty consistent talking until about I think it's officially been a year since I've spoken to my dad on the phone. Other than I think two or three times I've text him, but it was about stuff for my son, like stuff about my son's sports, or like you know, competitions, like good news about my son, or when my dad has tried to get sympathy, Oh, I have a doctor's appointment.
But he got this new young girlfriend and Stee got this new young girlfriend, and he was already dating somebody at the time who was like a very spin active in my life since I was young. Like her and my dad go back to high school. They've known each other and been off and on that long. And my dad was just being really awful to her during the meeting the younger girl and deciding he was leaving the girlfriend for the new young one. And I wasn't supportive
of it, you know. It wasn't like I tried to stop it, but I don't want to be I don't want to hear about it. I don't need to be included. I don't think it's right or you should be treating her that way, So just don't involve me, Like, just keep that to yourself. I don't need Because my dad has this habit of like when he does things that are not okay, he'll call you and tell you that
someone else said this negative thing about him. But whatever that negative thing is is what he did, and he's trying to plan to seed to make it look like he didn't be that and people were talking crap.
Yeah, well I'll say this. I mean, you know, I'm down to just let you chat about it for as much as you want to talk about But the tough part about stuff, especially like with your parents and shit is like at six, I hate to be like this, but at sixty five, at a certain point, man, it's like at a certain point, I feel like people, if they were going to change, they would have. And so it's kind of just like up to you as to
like how much you want to tolerate or not. I mean, I don't know I have limited him from that, but uh, that's kind of my gut feeling at least right now, in this point of my life, and I.
Think that's right. I had accepted a long time ago, like if I was going to maintain anything with my dad, I needed to realize, you know, he's never going to be better. This is what it is, and I'll just have this or I'll have nothing. But then when I didn't support this new girlfriend switch last year, he just like lost it on my sister and I. He was like, if you guys can't be supportive, then I don't need you in my life. Like he's the one that cut
it off. He's the one that cut contact. Basically said the I, my sister and I were negative negativity that he didn't need. And he was so in love with this girl, like he's never been in love before. I'm like, what are you talking about. You've had like four wives up, you're always in love like this. So we had that big falling out fight and then I still was trying to maintain, you know, something with them relationship wise. But my my final straw was I was on the phone
with him. I had called him because I was discussing Helen Keller. To be very honest, I was telling him how I think that Helen Keller while she may be real. I don't think she's quite the the pioneer.
For you were letting it behind, you were letting it be down that you don't fuck with Helen Keller.
Yes, And my dad was like, yeah, that makes sense. And I'm like, just you know, my dad would always have conversations like this with me, like we're just talking and when all of a sudden, this girlfriend, I can hear her in the background. She's she does fuck with Helen Keller. She's hard like it was very crazy, okay, all right, yeah, And that didn't sit right with you? Well, I mean it didn't. I didn't. I wasn't going to say anything. It didn't sit right with me because I don't.
I think that means you're not thinking very hard. Wait wait wait.
Wait, wait wait wait hold on. If you're not all right the way this is going to increase the length of this conversation by about forty five minutes. But I do have to ask, why why do you hate Helen Keller.
I don't. I don't hate her. I just don't think that she I don't see how anybody taught her to do all of these things. When if you can't see and you can't speak in here. How do you know what the apple you're feeling is? Is an apple? Well? That's hard.
That's the whole thing. That's why she that's why everyone loves her is because you know, she did the impossible thing.
I don't know. I think it's pretty impossible. I just don't see how she did it and well filled by it?
Wait wait, wait, hold, this is a whole new angle to this phone call. Why do you Why are you offended by Helen? Why are you offended by it? Are you blind and deaf?
I'm not, But I think that she's They're making her out to be this crazy, pioneering, you know, woman figure. And there's a lot of women out there that are probably doing great things and overcoming a lot of challenges. So don't lie about the ones you're overcoming. And I just don't see how it makes sense that she learned those things, Because if you can't show it to me and I can't hear it and I can't see it, how do I know what it means when I feel it?
Damn, Helen Cole, I thought that for some reason, I thought Hally Color died young. She mentioned like eighty seven. That's pretty good. Did she she uh, how did she do it?
Well?
Oh, oh, and Sullivan, and I remember all this ship basically this this, this, this this lady and Sullivan I like like put her hands in certain positions that like she like would feel Anne Sullivan's hands and like use it to like learn like uh sign language or something like that. That's how I remember it.
Yeah, that's the story I remember too, and I've just spent a lot doesn't make sense, and it doesn't make sense. I can't wrap my head around it. And I've devoted more time of my life than I probably have to try, and or that I probably should have. But when I was talking to my dad about that, this girlfriend comes in and she's like, she did do that, and she did learn all of those things and she flew a plane. I was like what.
Wait wait wait wait she did she did fly a plane. I mean she didn't really fly a plane. She flew a plane in the way that like a little kid, uh like flies the flies a plane when the pilot's like, do you want to fly a plane? Like? I think
the plot, by the way, this is all misinformation. I fucking know what I'm talking about, But I think the pilot had the plane on like auto whatever, and then she just like sat in the front and like held the stuff well on it look honestly technically on technicality, totally flew a plane, right.
But this girlfriend, I think she thought that Helen took the plane like controlled the takeoff, navigated, did all of it while blind. And so all of a sudden, my dad switches up on me and starts acting like I'm stupid in the conversation like it was crazy, just total one to eighty, like we're going back and forth, and my dad and I disagree on a lot of shit, so like we can always, you know, have these little debates or talks. But it was like when she came through for Helen, so did my dad in a very
condescending way. And it was I don't know, I was I was so mad. I just got off the phone with him, and I just haven't spoken with him on the phone since he ll now from behind the grave, yeah not even here. And she doesn't know the impact she's made on my life. And so I've always thought I was cool with you know, this is my dad, this is what it is, Take it or leave it.
But then now that I've like actually cut him off, like for good, and I'm just not going to tolerate it because like my little sister, she's four years younger than me, and she will tolerate all of their negativity and hit for my dad. She'll like go take him to lunch and then he'll be mean. She were the whole.
Amanda, Amanda, Amanda. I'm gonna sorry, Amanda. I'm gonna let you go in a second, but I just I'm gonna say this. I do think that at a certain point it is a thing of like it sucks. By the way, I'm sorry to hear that you're having these issues with your dad, but I do think at a certain point with your with your folks, it's like you can't really
expect them to you can't expect them to change. You have to either like you have to just like limit the amount of time that you specifically limit the amount of time you spend talking about Helen Keller with your dad or honestly, you sound like it's the Helen Keller stuff is the stuff I'm more concerned about, because it sounds like you have a some obsession with Helen Keller and now it's rubbing off on me. I'm trying to
pay attention. But I'm also scrolling through Helen Keller's Wikipedia page. Did you know she went to Japan to try to to try to find out more about how Chiko, the loyal dog who searched for his deceased master for ten years. You know about how Chico?
I don't, And I don't know how she knew about the dog either, because, dude, you.
Know what, I think, you're right. I think this is I think her. Yeah, I think her.
Whole thing, the Kerry Tree with George Washington. I think that's the whole point of Helen was just the teachers, you could do things that are impossible.
Yeah, I guess. I guess you're right. How did she even know about dogs?
Yeah? She never seen it. She's felt something soft.
But that's I think, like, hold on, look she has she just she's she's a picture of her with Yeah, she loves these Japanese dogs. Man, that's crazy. She had a dog named go Go. It's not accurate.
I mean, look, she you know she's from an American breed.
Oh.
She was an opponent of Woodrow Wilson. Did you know that she did not like Woodrow Wilson?
I did not. You're just on the Wikipedia because now I'm gonna have to.
Do I'm sorry. I shouldn't. No, I'm sorry, I should be I should be more, I should be more present with this conversation and not on the Wikipedia page of Helen Keller. And I'm not gonna blame you for putting me on there. But Amanda, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
No, no, I don't, but thanks thanks for letting me Ben.
Of course, I'm glad you got to speak your piece. I hope things go better with your father. And I'll see you in the universe. I almost almost called you Helen for some reason. I'll see you around the universe. Goodbye, Amanda, Thank you, good luck. That was Amanda. Nice person. Hope things go well with their dad. I mean, you know we've talked about I feel bad for folks who have, you know, trouble with their folks. But there is a thing of like you can't like, you know, expect them
to change. Who where she was born Helen Keller's father. Oh wait they were, Yeah, they had a bunch of slaves. Look at that. He served. Helen Keller's father served as a captain in the Confederate Army. The family was part of the slaveholding elite before the Civil War, but they lost their slaveholding status afterwards. Yeah, I guess that makes sense that Helen Keller's family had slaves. I don't know why that makes sense, but it makes sense. All right, let's talk about something else.
Hello, Hey, dude, is this real?
This?
Uh? As far as as far as we know, as far as we know. What's your name? Man? Hi?
Uh, I'll go by. Uh, I'll go by.
Beast, beast? What are you doing, beast? Are you doing right now? What are you doing?
I just got off work, brother, I'm a mail man.
Oh, we've had some mail men on the show before. What what's going on in the male world?
Well?
Uh, it's not as glamorous as it would seem, you know. I know that. I know that Back in the day, being a male carrier was considered to be a pretty good, uh, a pretty good job because of the fact that, you know, there's a lot of I'm pretty sure a lot of people grew up seeing the same mail man every day, and if they had a conversation with him, it's probably the type of guy that would how can I say it, It's probably the type of guy that was putting his
kids through college, own his own house. So it's not like that anymore, unfortunately, and the times that we're living in you already know how the economy is and stuff. But you know, I know that's a that's a whole other spiel. But you know, I'm just out here man, just trying to trying to pay my bills and stuff. You know, it's a it's a cool job in the CeNSE where like, for example, I'm an animal lover, so I like being able to say what's up to the
cats or the dogs. But other than that, I mean, shit, you know who wouldn't want to get paid more?
So you're saying that it used to be back in the day, you used to be able to actually support your family by being a mailman, but now it's still a struggle.
Yeah, I And to elaborate that a little bit more, I'd say, like, for example, back in the day, I know that they would just pretty much work there. They're eight hours. I know overtime was a thing, like it'd been a thing, but I just feel like back in the day, you could work your your regular just eight hours and you would have enough to pay your bills, take care of your responsibilities as well as having some
extra money on the side, you know, for playtime. You know, whether you want to go out with your girl or by yourself something. And nowadays it's like, dude, I work overtime. There's times where I do ten to twelve hours a day and I'm still kind of like, shit, dude, I wish I had more money in my pocket.
You know, how many hours a day are you are you working? How many hours a week are typically working?
I want to say I'll at least do maybe like fifty fifty five plus. Sometimes it just depends on you know, the time of year. Two like when I'm you when I worked sixty plus is like I want to say, like the holiday season. As of right now, I mean, what's it called? The mails not that heavy obviously Mondays or the heaviest days just because it's the beginning of the week. But aside from that, I mean today I just did an eight hour shift. So right now I'm
about a clock out at four thirty. I'm just kind of chilling in my work truck till it's time to clock out.
Oh wait, you texted me something I forgot that you texted me something.
Yeah, I texted you a couple of times.
You said, I want to talk about how I hate my sister.
Yeah, I mean, what's it called. If you want to get into that, I'm doing to get into that.
I mean, sure, man, it's up to you. What's going on with her?
Okay, let me just take a little sip of water really quick. Okay, So it's a very long story, but if I can short in it the most possible long story short, I haven't talked to my sister in over a year already, and the reason why we haven't talked is because I get it may be a little bit me in the sense where I kind of set it off, but to just break it down to you as quickly as possible, she doesn't get along with my fiance now.
And I've been with my fiance for what we have been dating for I want to say twelve years, but we just recently got engaged last year. But I haven't talked to my sister since last March. So basically the reason why is because Jesus doesn't appreciate my girl and what my girl does for her, especially because she doesn't think that I like her boyfriend. And it's not even that, it's just I really haven't gotten to know the guy.
And there was a situation that happened back in the day where she heard me say something and she heard wrong. So we kind of had like a falling out, and it was over her boyfriend. She thought I was talking smack on her boyfriend when it really wasn't like that. It was just kind of me trying to say, like, hey, like I don't even know the guy that you're dating.
I would like to know who my sister is dating, because before this whole falling out, like me and my sister had a really good relationship and like, you know, like I love my sister, like you know that she was my rid or died, which is why I do feel her by this situation, but I kind of try not to think about it, especially after so much time has passed. But anyways, so when that whole fall now happened, I took it upon myself to reach out to her boyfriend.
I didn't even tell her that I was going to reach out to him, and I was like, hey, like I'm pretty sure you heard what happened, but I just kind of want to clear things up with you, and we were able to clear things up relatively quick, like it wasn't it wasn't anything crazy or serious, and I'm sure that he was able to understand that. And that's why I kind of feel hurt too, because it's kind of like, dude, like, I know you you can't expect people to do the same things that you would do.
But I just kind of took it as like, dude, like, like I went ahead and I made peace with your boyfriend even after it was a misunderstanding. Why can't you do the same with my girl? And the whole thing that set it off was there was going to be a barbecue. My sister was invited to the barbecue by my friend who was throwing the barbecue, and my sister ended up wanting to go. And I just felt some type of way because when I told my girl about my sister going, she's like, oh, like, why didn't you
tell me about that? And uh, I you know, she has a right to, like, you know, feel some type of way, but I just felt some type of way at the fact that I'm like, dude, like, why am I putting so much effort into keeping two people that I love apart? So after that phone call, I'll stop I'll stop talking if you if you want to interject.
I mean, I'm just trying to follow here. But basically, the gist of what I'm getting. The gist of what I'm hearing is that your sister and your fiance do not like each other.
No, if not, I would have came out and said that, it's more so my sister and I don't know what type of problem she has with with my fiance. Like, sometimes I think that she's a little bit envious of her, even though I know for a fact my sister wouldn't flat out say that. But at the same time, it's just kind of like, like, you don't really have a reason to hate her, Like, why is it that you don't like her? I watch her straight up before.
Why is your sister envious of your girlfriend?
She?
Well, like I said, I don't know if she would straight up say that. Knowing my sister, she probably wouldn't
straight up say that. But my my feeling is my sister is the type of person to like, she's that she's that girl that like, she's very pretty and she gets a lot of attention, but she's also very conceited in the sense where like she's always taking pictures of herself and trying to promote like a lifestyle that she's living that it's it's really not what it is, you know, Like she makes it seem like like she's rising and rolls royces.
That's your sister, that's your that's your sister, right.
Yes, that's my sister. So I think that because my sister tries to portray this life that she lives, and she sees that my my fiance, we're not the type of people. We're not flashy or anything like that. We're not even rich, if I'm being straight up with you. But my girl, she's a real go getter and everything that she's accomplished, she's accomplished it on her own. I've obviously been there to support her, but obviously I can't
do the work for her. So you know, my girl has a masters, My girl's a she's a medical social worker. And yeah, my girl really like she has a good head on her shoulder. She's a smart cookie. So I just think, you know, it's kind of like a jealousy type of thing, like like, oh, I make myself out to look like I'm this type of like rich girl, but in reality, I look to my right and there's a girl that I feel like I'm competing with even though that's my brother's fiance. Does that make any sense?
Yes? Yes, Okay, so your girl, basically your your sister is jealous of your fiance because your fiance is it sounds more successful than her and more motivated than she is. Yes, the same.
And I mean it's it's kind of sad because, I mean, I never expected something like this to happen, especially because you know, I had a good relationship with my sister. I've always had a good relationship with my sister. But it just feels like, I don't know, like the only thing that I can really say, and I'm only saying this because obviously I've grown up with my sister and
I know her for who she really is. But the only logical explanation that I can come up with is that you know, she's she's jealous of her, She's envious of her. Okay, it sounds I want to get your take on this.
Yeah, I mean my take on the listen, it sounds like your sister is. I mean, it sounds like the burdens on your sister, man, because if your sister wants to be like that, you can't really stop her from being like that. I mean, if you just wants to like be a dick, then you know you gotta tell her. I mean, have you told your sister to stop being a dick to your Yeah?
We' we've had We've had conversations in the past. And what I was getting to, uh with that whole that whole thing about her, How can I say it? That whole thing with her wanting to go to the barbecue. I felt some type of way because I'm like, damn, like, why do I have to keep two people apart that
I love? So what I went ahead and did was I called her and I'm not gonna lie to you get I gave her a piece of my mind, and like you know, I like I just kind of like just went on like you know, your your what I was like, your selfish, like you only think about yourself, and like, you know, maybe that's where I kind of went went wrong. But at the same time, I just didn't realize that everything that I was holding in like like I was holding stuff in and I never realized
to put it that way. So basically, when I went off on her, I just kind of exploded, you know. But at the same time, I'll be honest with you too. I don't regret anything that I said, and I feel like everything that I said, I just kind of like got it off my chest, you know. So sorry if it gets a little loud, I'm going into the post office really quick just to drop off my scanner. But I'm off the clock so I can keep talking.
That's all right, man. Uh, Well, I think fuck uh, I think it's okay. I think it's okay that you spoke your piece. Man. I think it's okay that you spoke your piece. You know, I mean that all I think. Here's what I'll say is that just let your sister be, Just let her. If this is your sister's problem, man, this isn't your fucking problem. And you told your sister to like chill the fuck out, and at this point it's like you, you know, you got to live your
own life. But if she wants to be jailed, and let her be jailed, of course.
Yeah. The The only reason why I kind of like, the only reason why I kind of feel like it's like not not only her problem, but also my problem too, is because it's it's me and my sister. And that's it like I don't I don't have any more immediate siblings. So the fact that like her and I have this problem, and then my mom's a single mom, so my mom's
kind of stuck in the middle. It just it just kind of feels weird because, like, like I said, we all used to kind of have like a good relationship all with each other, and then now my mom's kind of stuck in the middle. And like I've spoke to her before and be like, hey, like I don't know if you've you've talked to your daughter, but Loki, you should kind of like try and slap some sense into her. And she says, she says, oh, well, like I've talked
to her, but she feels like she is right. So it just feels like, honestly, nothing's ever going to get accomplished. But I've also made peace with the fact that, like, if my sister wants to be like that for the rest of her life, that's cool.
What's your name again, mine?
Well, I'll go by beast.
Oh beast, yes, beast beast. My feeling is the is the last thing you just said where you're like, listen, if your sister wants to be like that, I say, you just let her be like that and like just live your life like like you know, minimize the amount of time that you spend around her and like just just let her be like that. But yeah, don't let it take up too much of your your mental energy. Man.
No, yeah, it doesn't anymore because, like I said, we haven't talked in about like, uh it's it's been like about a year and like three months. And then aside from that, I moved out from my mom's house last November. So basically since last November, I don't I don't get to see her on a on a regular basis.
Uh, beast, Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Honestly, I just want to say that you're fucking awesome, dude. You helped me get through you. You helped me get through a lot of my work days. I kid you not. I listened to an episode of Yours every freaking day.
And uh.
I will also say that the nerves are definitely real people I know. Ghek always says that this is probably one of the lowest stake things that we would probably do in our lives. But even then, the nerves are real.
A beast. Beast, you're a very sweet guy. Man, don't don't beast, you're a sweet guy. Don't freak out too much about anything, my friend, all right, you know, I hope. I don't know. I don't know if you're just nervous because you're on the phone, but I hope you're not generally nervous in life. You're a you're a sweet man. If there's a life after this one, I think I think God will hook you up in it.
Ah, dude, thank you. I appreciate this, bro, And honestly, I hope this makes I hope this makes it onto a podcast so I can be walking delivering mail and at the same time be listening to our conversation on one of your podcasts.
Thank you, Beast. You have a good rest of the day.
Man, Thank you, Bro. I love you a good day.
Thank you, Beast. Have a good one.
Man.
Damn, what a sweet nice guy. What a nice guy. I don't know what to do? How do I that's he's just a what a nice guy. Sometimes I talk to someone and they're just such a like like a wholesome person that I'm like, what do I do with the not? What do I do with the knowledge that you exist. Now, you know what I mean? How do I I know it's done making any fun. I know it doesn't make any fucking sense, but I'm just like, man, this is a real nice guy. I hope I hope
it doesn't freak out too much. Yeah, don't freak out. Don't freak out anyway, folks, that was the Therapy Eco podcast. I hope you guys enjoyed listening. Please leave me leave me some comments in the Spotify comments section, and I like reading the comment in the Spotify pomments section. Or if you're not listening on Spotify for listening somewhere else, then just send me an email Therapy get goomail at gmail dot com with questions, comments, concerns about the podcast.
I think that's it, man, I think that's all we have to say. We talked to our sports betting friend, we talked to Amanda, we talked to a very nice mail man. We keep talking to people. We keep talking to people people, and we'll be doing that. We'll just keep doing it. We'll keep talking to people. We'll keep being a gecko. And I think I think we did a podcast. It feels like we did another day at the office. Feels like we did a podcast. I hope you guys enjoyed listening to it. That's it. That's it.
We'll do another one next week, and then the week after that, and the week after that, and the week after that. We'll do it for forty years and then we'll die. That's a SpongeBob reference. I like that show, SpongeBob. I wonder what he's doing now, SpongeBob. I wonder where he is, wonder what he's thinking about. Okay, thank you guys. Ghat bless you all, see you around the universe. Goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night. Becon goes to it and ride.
He's teaching you a loud your life, but he's not really an expert.