“I BLEW OFF MY HAND”

Hello, Hey there. What's your name? Griffin? What's up?

Man?

How's it going? I'm hanging in there, brother. What would you want to talk about today?

I recently had an accident where I lost my right hand.

Wow. What was the accident?

So? I was one of my buddies is living with me, and I was clean out his closet and there was like this fireworks in the closet. Now, we thought it was a smoke bomb typed in thking know, the ones that you light the fuse goes down like you fucking like throw it and it smokes right yeah, and it blew up in my hand a flashbang. I don't know if you ever played Just Go, but like I was blind for like thirty seconds.

Holy shit. So wait a minute. So okay, So you were in your friend's closet and you discovered these fire works and then you lit them on fire while holding them or they just randomly exploded in your hand.

So we found them in this close and this is my home. So I had taken it for my brother all a long time ago, like ten years ago probably, and I remember like shit, like oh I remember this, and I'm like we're clean out, was closing says more room. So I'm thinking, hey, might as well light them. So I walked on our porch try to light the winds blowing so like ships not lighting, I'd go inside. The wick just goes down and then boom, blew up.

Basically, oh my goodness, when did this happen?

This happened almost two weeks ago today.

God damn? And how much of your arm blew? Like the whole arm?

No, luckly not. So my hand was like it was still kind of there, but the hairs were like half gone. And I guess my like my dad and friend found have my palm in the sink or something?

Your dad and your your dad and your and found your palm in the sink.

Yeah, like like part of my thumb.

So when it happened, did you go, oh my god, did you like freak out?

No? No, So I was kind of silent and like I was just kind of like, damn. I thought I was dead for a second because it was straight, like white, like bright, righter than the sun. And so my friend was there with me like, well, we're we're lighting it, and then my hearing came back like five seconds later. I just hear him screaming. So I thought he was like deathly injured, but he was perfectly fine. And I was like this in my hand, I had like thirtygree burns like up and down my stomach and leg and

But yeah, wow, And what kind of fireworks were they? They were like a flash bang type of thing.

I guess it turned out to be a flash bang type thing, yeah, or more like a bomb, I guess.

Mm hmm. So what are you gonna do? What is so?

So? What? So?

What does your right hand look like?

It's just a numb So they cut it like right at the wrist or like I guess they say below the wrist, but in my thinking it's above the wrist and that makes sense. What's closer to my fingertips? Part of the risk?

How do you feel about all this? Are you like are you pissed off?

I'm very angry and like like Matt myself, like I know, like have you ever been like just guilty at yourself? Like I've never been guilty of myself done for myself until now. I could just very angry, but also like sad, like I use my I'm very like right hand dumb. It like I twist it with my left hand, but like I can't do anything now. I'm I keep trying to do shit with the right hand, and it's like, oh shit, it's not there, you know what I mean?

MM, So I have to ask you this, when's the last time you masturbated?

I've been trying to it's just like it's not the same. So I haven't like I haven't finish, like if that makes sense.

You haven't come since the accident.

No, literally the day of I actually, like hours before the accident, I did. So that's good.

So I'm not like, wow, you came not knowing it was the very last time you would jerk yourself off with your right.

Hand exactly exactly.

That's tragic. I'm sorry to hear that.

I know. No, you're good.

Damn. So you did they put did they give you like anything cool? Did they give you like a hook or something?

That's so funny you say that? So like the week of so I have like this really like top of the line surgeon who like I guess like a couple of years back, he like showed someone's arm back together. His name's Van Beek. If anyone needs to practice plastic surgeon. He does like tits and ass and ship. But anyways, him and this army doc attached a coat hanger hook to my hand, and we're joking that that's gonna be like a ten thousand dollars hook the way that our health care works.

Your doctor attached like a literal. Your doctor attached a literal coat hanger to your arm.

Well, it's not like it's attached like I have like wrap and then he wrapped it on top of that and wrapped some more wrap. But yeah, fucking coat hanger.

Yeah wow. So right now, are you're holding the phone with your left hand or with a coat hanger?

Definitely with the left hand. I can't. The coat hanger doesn't have much mobility.

What can you even why even why why is a coat hang? Why is a coat hanger better than a nub? What can you even do with the coat hand?

Well, he just wants me to practice on my right hands. It doesn't get really weak. So like I can like, oh, like push elevator buttons and like pull like tissues towards me, or like when I'm eating pudding, like you get a lot of pudding and yogurt or a ship and hospital. So I'm trying to eat the yogurt with my left hand, but it's just sliding around the table, so like the hook kind of holds it there.

I feel like if you're you know how, like you'll be in an elevator and like there's somebody who's closer to the buttons than you are, so you ask them to hit your floor. I feel like if we were in an elevator and the guy closer to the buttons he had a hook as a hand, I would feel kind of mean asking him to hit my floor.

That's so funny because like, Okay, I was in the hospital for like six days, and like on the fifth day, I walked around the hospital and me and my sister went down like took the elevator because we're on the third floor and I was right by the button and I was on a lodge druck, so I was asking like, hey, hey, like what what what are you guys going on? And I like you pressed they were on the sand floor's us But like I understand that's funny though, like them

You could be an elevator attendant. What do you do? What do you do? Now? What's your are you you're you're nineteen, it says, yes, sir.

So I am a retail sales supervisor at the home depot.

Oh okay, I feel like people are going to see you and the saw sales are going to go down.

That's funny because I'm the supervisor for hardware like lumbers, so I work over there, sas and shit.

They'd have no idea. It was fireworks. What do you mean like because you work at home depot? Never mind? So what? Uh? Okay? Let me let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. What's your do you? Are you in school right now? Are you going to college for anything while you're working?

No? No, I'm I'm mom. So I was going to take this one gap year. I'm getting into that second gap here and just grounding at work. But now I'm you know, chilling at home for a couple of weeks. Mm hmm.

What's your what's your dream? What's your goal? What do you want to do?

One one of my dreams was like the canoe down for kayak down the whole Mississippi. But like, I don't know if I could do that now with just one hand, Like I probably could get like another hook type thing. But we'll see.

Hold on, Okay, you know there's all sorts of like, there's all sorts of like dudes out there who are like doing shit like that. Like there's all these like I'm sure there's a guy with a hook for a hand who's climbed Mount Everest before. Like that's a whole that's an entire genre of dude that you're talking about.

I don't know about that Mount Everest maybe.

Not, but hold on, I'm gonna look this up right now. Okay, hold on, okay, guy with no arm climbs mountain. Yeah, check the shit out, dude. This guy, uh, Kyle Maynard climbed Mount killiman Jorro and he didn't even have any he has he has three less slimbs than you do. He didn't have any Is.

He a nugget basically, or he had like one leg or one arm or something.

Yeah, he's got no arms and no legs and his ass climbs Mount Kilimanjaro. Oh my god, So look at that. You can pat down the Mississippi River.

Did he climbing or did someone else climate for him? Like, was he like in the backpack, like one of it, like a baby carrier thing or not.

That's that's just mean. That's just mean. Oh I guess now, well, hold, I guess you can kind of make those jokes now since you you don't. That's that's one of the bright sides of having a disabilities. You can, now, I guess, make jokes about other people with disabilities. Exactly this guy, Yeah, this, this guy. Kyle Maynard, a quadruple amputee, is the first person to climb Mount Kilimanjaro without prosthetics. He also played football, wrestled,

Okay, wait he he wrestled in ship before or after his quadruple amputation.

Yeah, I think it's I think this is all after. I feel like they would I feel like they wouldn't put it in the bio if it was before.

Okay, have you ever have you ever like this? The Special Olympics, like TikTok or whatever, they'll post their swimming team and literally like so their quadruple amputees and they'll just like throw them into the pool. And I don't know how much of the swimming they're doing themselves. I don't know.

Okay, look here's the I don't have to get into the Special Olympics. But all I'm saying is that if all I'm saying is that someone else did it, so you could probably figure it out how to do it. I believe all I'm saying is it's it has been proven to be physically possible.

Now, what was see was I want? I was looking into if I could join like the Special Olympics because I run track or I used to, like I would kick ass and the two hundred meter dash like I would just well, it depends what people I'm running aast, you know, like if they are quadruple amputees, I'm definitely because I don't know.

I don't know. I think that this guy who climbed count uh Mount Kilimanjaro, he's quite an athlete.

Well, but how do you think he run? Did someone just roll him and he gets ut like some of Mexico.

He has like he doesn't. He just doesn't. I mean he's got like he's got like legs and arms. He just doesn't have the the other, like the whole thing, so like and that and that's you too. You have you have like an arm, you just don't. It's just enough.

Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, that makes sense.

I mean you're probably not gone bowling anytime soon, but you.

Could do it.

Oh my god, what do you really like bowling?

I do? And that's funny because my friends were gonna go out. I was just on like a FaceTime with like three people and we're wondering what to do. Like I couldn't think anything, and someone said bowling, and everyone's acting and I'm just like looking at my hands with no like nub because I had just taken up my wrap, I mean with no fingers. I'm like, okay, they said they couldn't put the bumpers on. I'll try it, lefty, but we'll see.

Well, I have to say, you have a pretty good sense of humor about this, for, you know, considering it just happens.

Yeah. Well, I'm trying, like I feel like there's no point in like getting like I mean, I'm mad, of course, but like there's no point in getting the pressed over. Like I can make it. I can make through it. And Honestly, it's like a whole new movies on life because like you really don't know how like how good you have it until it's gone, you know what I mean? M hm.

Honestly, you're you're about your dog in the background is probably mad because you haven't pet him.

In two weeks' Oh dude, So he he'll try to take my food and I'll like point the hook at him, and he's so afraid of it, like he'll he'll act he never he never laid down when I say lay down, But when I point hook at the fall over his legs, it's perfect. But anyways, no, but yeah, you honestly, you don't know what you have until it's gone. But like, for instance, like the jerk it up thing, like I

You don't know, Yeah, like you were you were going to get a scholarship for jerking off.

Yeah you could say that definitely if I tried hard enough, I definitely would.

Well, all right, so I guess I mean, let's keep going down the list, right, Like what else do you want to do that you think you can't do anymore because you don't have an arm.

Okay, fishing like I can hold the pole with my left hand, but the right hand, how I A'm I gonna reel it? You know what I mean? Okay, skiing I can't Well, you know what I could probably do skis, Like they could just attach the pole. I don't know if you ever SpongeBob, but Squidward gets like fucking paralyzed, and SpongeBob just shoves the ski pole through his like paralyzed hand.

Yeah, us say yes, Squidword gets like his full a full body cast and yeah the spongebobs he jams a jelly fishing rod.

Yeah. I don't know what to think of skiing, but that we could get over you, yeah for sure.

Okay, hmm okay, yeah, I mean here's the thing. I feel like all of this stuff it's like figure out able, you know what I mean, Like, could you there's some the you could have various like attachments. You could they could make you like a Swiss army hand or something, and you could have a various attachments depending on what you were doing.

That'sh it's expensive. So we went to the prostatic people and they said, like one process is twenty to one hundred thousand before insurance and like insurre, yeah exactly, and insurance like doesn't love covering it, so like you have to like keep sending it in and like they want me to. They don't accept the right away. They want me to like write like a sad peather like kill them in covering it or something.

Wait, wait, they want you to write a letter? What is that?

Man? Yeah, So they said, like, okay, so let's say we send in the claim they deny it. They want me to say, like my name is Griffin, I can't, I can't do this, this this I'm so sad basically, and then send it in and then they'll like see if they can give us more money, like if the insurance were actually covered or not.

Dude, that's so fucked up. They're they're literally asking you to beg.

Yeah exactly. Well insurance is just fucked, like all types of insurances kind of fucked.

So yeah. I recently, this has been coming up on my TikTok feed a lot recently. It's that clip from The Incredibles where he has to deny that woman's insurance claim because like none of us what the fuck was going on when we were like seven and watch that movie. But now nowadays, now you're like, oh, man, that was fucked up. How they made him do that? You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah? No, and then his boss comes in and then it gets all mad at him, like a fucking little guy with glasses.

Yeah yeah, So I'm okay, I'm curious about this. How did your friends react when you first told them that you you don't have an arm?

They were like it was honestly, like they were too sympathetic, Like I didn't really Like I feel like I didn't deserve the sympathy because I did it to myself. So they're like, oh, I'm so sorry for you. I feel so bad for you. What can I do? And like that's all I keep hearing, and like everyone wants to help me do like open a fucking water bottle, like I could open a lot of about one hand, like they want to do it for me, or like I could put my fucking jacket on, but they just want

Do you are which which friends are you close? Like you're really really close friends. Were they more like you're stupid for doing that?

No, honestly, no, it was opposite, like I feel like the people I didn't really know, like, are you stupid? All my close friends are really supportive.

That's good, that's good.

Yeah.

Yeah, How now that it's been two weeks, are are people still supportive?

Oh? For sure? For sure? I mean less and less, and like the surgeon said, I mean he said, is he's like the first week or two a month, it's gonna be you're gonna see a ton of people. They're all going to be helping you. And then when we have a we have appointments, guys, we weekly, he said, Like in a couple of months, it's just gonna be you and your mom leave me right, I love you?

Yeah, what's your mom? Your dog's going crazy?

Yeah? Oh my, he's a fucking annoying And I think he's racist too.

Why do you think your dog is racist.

So the first week I came home from the hospital, I had a bunch of friends over. Okay, he'll barking them for a little bit and stop my one light skin buddy, who's a little I mean a little dark skin compared to light skins. I guess he just not stop barked at him, Like he walked around when he was on the couch, stared at him and just kept barking. It would not stop.

That's fucked up. You should teach your dog to be uh, to be more sensitive.

I'm trying. I mean, I don't know. They don't give like they'll make dogs send three training videos.

They're like, what bring what breed is your dog?

He? I don't know if I can say it, he's a blue tick hound. I'll say that part.

Wait, hold on, why do you what dog name? Can you not say?

I don't want to get clipped. My friends say it's it's a blue tick coon hound, is what he is? Oh? Okay, that yeah, that third word. I didn't know.

I'm aloud to say that your dog is so racist that his name is a slur exactly though, Hey, folks, this is Lyle. I am very excited to announce that I am going back on tour in twenty twenty four to do Therapy Gecko Live all across the country. If you've never been to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix of group Gecko therapy sessions as well as some

She is, but she's like it's kind of overbearing, and I mean she knows it, but it's nice. I don't know how else to describe it. She's just a constant everything, Like everywhere I go she's with me, and it's just constant. It's not great, but I mean I love her. Of course.

So was your mom overbearing? Would you have described your mom as overbearing before the thing happened with your hands?

Definitely? Not?

No, no, really, so she only became overbearing after the in the past.

Two weeks, I'd say, so, yeah.

Really, I mean, I mean, look, I don't I mean, I don't know, I'm not you, but this seems like warranted bearing.

No, I agree, I agree, definitely. It's just it's a lot. It's just a lot of stuff and a lot to think about. Like today, I had like an eye appointment that lasted like two almost two and a half hours, and it's just a lot of shit. Like yesterday I had three points, I was, I was out of the house from eleven to six, and it's like it's a lot. So then when she's overbearing two it's just it's hard like mentally, you know, mm hmm.

I'll ask you this quite. I mean, I suppose I have more questions, but I'll just ask you this up front. Is there any like what other aspects of this do you want to talk about?

I don't know. I don't know. I mean, do you have any other questions? I'm trying to think of something that I could talk about.

Let's see, all right, I have a crazy question, and maybe it's fucked up. Maybe it's fucked up. It might be fucked up, but I'm gonna ask it to you.

Okay, Oh yeah, go ahead. Yeah.

Have there been any pros of blowing your arm off? Oh?

My god, that's not getting gifted food? Like we have our fridge is full of food for like my mom's like friends and shit. So like that's that's a positive, i'd say. Otherwise, Oh, and like finally getting I will work because I don't love my job, so it's nice to have a little like stay on vacation, So if you could call that a positive. But negatives like I can't I can't play video games. There's another one. I can't play video games right now. I love first person shooters,

Mmm can they not? So like is there? Uh, by the way, I'll just say this about the food thing real quick. Yeah, tragedy does bring with it, ah, really it does bring good food with it. Like I when I was in high school, I had the friend of mine passed away, but at his shiva, they're they just had the best chicken tenders have ever eaten.

Yeah just no, no, no, So I haven't had Jewish food in a while, like really good. So I never knew this was a thing. But bat Mitzus like bar Mitzo's for girls and those were even a thing, and I went to one. Oh my god, I wish it was Jewish because their food is so some of their.

Food so it is, it's really good. I'm actually I gotta say those chicken tenders were so good that I'm actually waged. I kind of hope another one of my friends dies so that that's crazy.

No what but or would the chicken tenders Jewish at all?

Or they were just they were just regular chicken tenders there they the koshers though, they were really good. Anyway, Wait what what did what Jewish food did you have at the bout Metzva?

Fucking Okay, So it was like this dessert but kind of was like crispy noodle ish type thing. I don't know what the fuck it's called. There's so many like and they have like long ass names for no reason, like panic cocaine or something like that.

Wait, I've never heard of any Jewish food called panic cockin?

Is that food? I don't know? If I'm just speaking out of my ass.

You might what's what? What is it? What would describe the food to me? Is that soup?

No? No, it's I thought it was a dessert like assert like with like crispy shit on top and like panic cotton. What was that?

That doesn't sound No, not pan cotta.

No, not panic cotton. I something cocin or maybe not maybe ship. Let me let me, uh, let me look up some Jewish here, give.

Me one second. You know, it's okay, we don't have to google this, but uh all right anyway, all right, so you got what's the best sympathy food that you've gotten?

Oh that's a good question. Hmm. Okay, So I like so I like lazagna. So this leggy about lazagna. But it was vegetarian lasagna. But it was pretty pretty good. It had like spinach shit in there. But the salad she made it was a caesar salad, but it was all like shredded and cut up. I hate like eating Caesar salad and having all the big ass leap So that was really good. I don't know. There's this Mexican place called Lacacia, Like I don't know if they're chain or not, but that was pretty good too.

So you said that one of the bummers is that you can't play video games. Is there not like some kind of uh like, is there not some kind of prosthetic that will allow you to play video games? Or is that? Is it kind of too complex because you need fingers and ship.

Well, there's like there's like one handed keyboards and shit you can use. It's more like like stuff that other people can use, Like you don't need to have a missing hand. But like I want to get like an electric like an electric hand that like you can move all the fingers individually, but those are like more expensive, or at least my place doesn't have them like that

Mm hmm. Yeah, it's a bummer that ship is so expensive. I'm trying to say, you could play like I feel like you could get really into driving games like one hand, like one hand on that little steering wheel and then the other one on the U on the pedal.

Yeah, because I was. I was just playing a lot F one. But like I have a control I do. I gotta get the pedals and ship in a wheel because like I play, you know control, you need the right finger to hit the accelerator s like that. But I can play like point in click games like Cana Segalum and ship like that like among us.

Mm hmm. What other questions do I have for you? Oh? What's to deal with your dad? Are you and your dad cool?

Yeah? Uh not really. No, He's like he's around, but he's not around, if that makes sense.

Okay, all right? Did he at least like say what's up when your arm was blown off?

Yeah? He came to the hospital. I think I don't know if he was there the first name, but he came like the second quick, like he'll he stop into like not even five minutes and then his leave.

So do you like get to talk to him at all?

Yeah? I did, Like, so we got we got home from the hospital, and I think it was was it the same day, Jake, when the police showed up? It was, yeah, same day, three cop cars. So now I'll say this, so let me let me go back a little bit in the past. So I when I when when the thing blew up? Let me explain it. So I like ran outside until my buddy like, hey follow me, And I didn't realized I was missing my hand so like,

And it wasn't so this was this was this was uh, after you blew your hand off?

Yes, this was after he blew my hand off the week like the week following, so he wasn't home, so okay, And like I guess they felt bad bothering, you know, the one handed man. So they went back to their cars and drove off pretty quick, and they hadn't came back yet, but he said he was gonna try so like a couple of days ago, and he's he hadn't came home to day so they might have got him, but like, I don't know, he's a whole fucking thing.

Like he's yeah, so you the FEDS thought that you were making explosives in your room because of the hand thing.

Yeah, because I guess it's a common thing, like because even today I went to a REDNA specialist because they thought that they might have like torn like parts of my REDNA. And the doctor asked me, like what happened, and I told him, And I didn't tell him it was a firework. I just said it was an explosion. So he's like, oh, like I get multi good tons of patients are amateur bomb makers. I'm like, what the fuck? I don't know there was a.

I get tons of patients who are amateur bomb makers.

Yes, yes, and kind of a red flag, I guess in Minnesota. I guess so once the people are making too many bombs because fireworks are illegal or certain fireworks are illegal here, like we have to go like to Wisconsin to buyer fireworks.

Anyways, Yeah, I have to ask, uh, how do you feel about that law? Now? Are you like that's a pretty good law.

I think it's a pretty good law. Yeah, it's not like all fireworks but like mortars and ship. But yeah, I will I believe me. I will never be like lighting or go near fires Fourth of July. I'll be in like my basement with like ear muf song and ship. Yeah.

I was gonna okay, so I was gonna ask you, uh after that, like what's your relationship, like your relationship with fireworks now? Like are you no?

I'm yeah, no, I'm definitely a We'll see, Like I don't know if I have PTSD from it, but like I remember a time when I was younger and we went over to our like friends party and they have like a little alley way and they let off a sparkler bomb. I don't know if you have ever seen sparkler bombs, but they're really big and like loud and like a big flash. And someone who served in like a rack he has he has he like jumped over a cable

I gotta say, Griffin, you are you are handling this uh extraordinarily well. I mean if I were you, I would I would not be able to be in such uh high spirits as you are. I mean, I don't know if you're putting on a front, but you you definitely well, you know, it seems like you're you're you're taking this well.

I mean, I'm trying to be happy, you know what I mean. I don't I'm not trying to think about it. Like when when I was at the surgeon the other day and he took off the wrap and I didn't really want to look at it because it felt it felt more real now, Like that's why I kind of didn't want to go home to the hospital, because once I'm home, it's real, like shit, I have no hand, you know what I mean. So it's been tough but like I said, I don't see a point in like

Mm hmmm hm, Well, god, damn Griffin. Thanks for thanks for joking around with me. Sorry if I said anything.

Uh, my friends called me fucking lefty now, so you're fine.

Your friends call you lefty.

Yeah.

Hey this guy, this guy voted for Bernie. Huh he's only got his left hands exactly.

Sorry, No, you're good. No, we had a good conversation. I'm glad I could talk to someone like. I haven't talked to a therapist, a therapist therapist yet. I know obviously you're not a therapist, but it's just nice talking to someone getting you know, like everything out, Griffin.

Is there anything else that you want to say to the people of the computer or or or any other aspect of this that you want to get into or any of that before we go.

I think all I gotta say is thanks for listening. Also, you should add, like on Twitch, you should have a vote thing where if a call is going really boring and you don't want to be rude, just have a vote thing like, hey, should we continue this call and then have a vote yes or no? Because some some of the calls are a little I don't know, I feel they're not that entertaining.

See I hear. Well, Okay, Well, a couple of things. First of all is the chat does not get to decide whether or not I have a call like they Yeah, I'm I'm I'm the judge, jury, and executioner on whether or not I decide I want to take a phone call. So okay, Really I don't want to give a the chat the option to do that. And second of all, I don't know how would you feel if you got if you got voted out?

I would I'm pretty mad, honestly.

But be pretty mad.

But I feel like my card is a little more important.

Well hey, you know what, that's another uh pro of blowing your hand off is you get you get to be better than everyone else.

I guess. Yeah, dude, I'm telling you, if I join that special Olympics teme, you'll see me. I'll send you a video and me just kicking ass in the two one. We'll see. But yeah, thanks for calling, Thanks for calling me. Yo, I'll send you. I'll send you a picture of me on on Insta, just of me no hand like punching the air.

Yeah, all right, I'll take yeah, send if text text to the stump to the actually you know, I'll just do it. Can you can you send me a text? This is how we'll end it. Can you send me a text right now to the same number that this number that you're on the phone with of of the stump? I want, I want to I'll want to react to the stump.

It's it's wrapped up right now. Is that's fine?

Oh? Yeah? Sure? I mean, do you have a picture of it unwrapped?

I don't know. No, it's it's open wounded. So I'll just a pictures wrap.

All right, Send me whatever you got. I'll live react to whatever you got real quick. Ok okay, all right, chat? Do you have any questions for Griffin that I can ask him? While while I live react to this. Someone asked if you if you're still in pain?

Oh? Yes, the pain is fucking horrible, like nothing I've ever felt before.

Like every day, yeah, every day, every day. Do you feel Are you in pain right now?

Uh? Yeah, I definitely need some pain.

Then, h did you send me?

I sent you for now one. I have one where I did have just a stump, and I have one where i'm the good thing about the good thing about the stump is I can like with the hook, I can hold toilet paper in my like on my hook. It's just like a mobile toilet paper. Older.

Wait a minute, did you did you send it to me? Uh? Just now?

Yeah?

Oh and oh I got it. Oh I got it. I got it. Oh my, oh my goodness, oh my god. This is like something for this is that's crazy. I don't know why I thought this live reaction would be good audio content. It's just me saying, damn, that's crazy. I don't know why I thought that would be of any amount of entertainment value. What there's this way? Hold on? Why what's this picture of you holding a roll of toilet paper?

That's the hook? So the hook is it's a mobile toilet paper holder.

This fucking doctor you went too was like, hey, so those hooks cost twenty thousand dollars. You just want a toilet paper roll.

That's not no, that's not I basically but no. I mean he's well, so like when we were in that hospital, like he was saying, he's to make something special for us, like temporary, like temporary device, so we make something three D print something or something. But he just broke. He cut open, he cut metal coat hanger and just attached to my numb.

How do you wipe your ass?

That's a good question. I just do it left handed now, but I do. Okay, Now, I don't know how much do it, but I do. I do. I'm seated more towards the back of the toilet and I reach in front. I hold up well, I used to hold up my balls with my left hand, but I can't do that now. So I just wipe and I pulled. I pulled. I'm a polar. I pulled towards.

Wait a minute, so well, now can't you just can you kind of like hook your balls and like pull them up with the hook and then use your left hand to wipe your ass.

I could, I could, but they said that they want like what.

I was gonna say, because the hook is like perfectly shaped to push your pole. Well what did they say? What did that? What did the doctors say?

He wants it more elevated? So I can't really be taking down there with the hook, but I mean I probably could now since it's the hooks over you. So now the hook's attached, I have this little like thing that's bell can slap the hook on. It's pretty cool.

But all right, I have one more question. And people are gonna think. People are gonna think this is gross. I don't care. I don't care. I don't all right, I'm a human being. I'm gonna ask this question, all right, and and and I'm all right, I'm just gonna say it. Do you you ever wipe? You ever scratch your ass and then smell your finger?

Okay, in the past I had done that. I have not done I can't remember the last time I've done that.

I was gonna ask if you've ever scratched, if you've ever scratched your ass with the hook and smell with the hook, and if that smells different, have you done that? Have I have I scratched my ass and sniffed it, of course, every one hand.

Oh no, no, how do you yours? Now? I want to full detail so I can think about it like you do you. I've heard more people sit forward towards the front of the toilet and then reach behind the white you grass, Do you do that or you're more of a front guy?

There was a large did you. I don't know if you heard that, but there was a large God intercepted our phone call with a fucking a little explosion to wareness that we're talking. We're talking naughty here. Shit? Was I going to say? How do I wipe my ass? I lift up my balls with my left hands and then I wipe it with my right hand exactly.

And my friends called me weird for doing that. You could because they sit at the front of the toilet like uncomfortable as hell and wipe from behind. Like. I don't got that much time. I want to be comfortable, want to sit back and relax, And I don't know, And I feel like it's a bigger fellow of yourself that you would probably sit back to and just look up your balls.

Oh that's another pre of cutting off your hand. You've lost weight, That's true.

That's true. I did lose weight, but I actually gained some weight in the hospitals, so I feel good. I'm trying to gain weight actually because that well, I'm one ninety, like six' three one. Ninety i'm trying to get up there. Muscular, yes, sir.

Damn do you WEIGH i weigh more than, you And i'm about a entire foot. Shorter.

Yeah, WELL i mean that's that's two. Things like it is that on you or that on? ME i don't. Know i'm not here to call people fat or shame.

Them that's on. ME i need to cut off one of my. GYM i would reach my FITNESS i would reach my fitness kulls much much quicker Doing.

Yeah that's, True and you could become one of those handy capable people that like have seen that where they like poor poleeps in their eyes be blind or they like off their hand so they're like. Disabled, dude you should do.

That you should walk around telling people you just did it on purpose because you were sick of Your.

No that's that's worse because then you'll not LIKE i, SAID i, said didn't like the, sympathy BUT i kind of like the sympathy.

Like by the, way by the, way by the, way by the. WAY i want it just as as as a CAN i say this to, you just as a fake gecko. THERAPIST i want you. TO i want to tell you. Something don't feel bad about liking the. Sympathy don't feel bad about liking the. Sympathy look, something something terrible happened to. You fucking lap it, up all? Right what's wrong with a little lap lap it up a little? Bit why? Not why? Not, okay might as, well might as. Well don't feel bad about, it all, right don't feel

Not you're, right that makes.

Sense don't don't.

TALK i don't Want i'm not making it like some of my. Friends like one of our friends wasn't trying to play a game with, us And i'm, like, oh you will play with a little poor one handed, man the lonely one handed man he could find the like he got on the game with. Us BUT i won't be doing that like outside of my. House BUT i.

Don't don't don't don't let it get to your. Head but, yeah for, sure you, know for, sure lapping up a little, bit not not don't do anything, crazy don't don't like make a Long facebook post or. Anything but, uh.

Dude you know HOW i said it was one, Hindy SO i took a. SHIP i took a ship before this. CALL i just waited. MYSELF i one eighty.

Seven, DAMN i think that's our que.

Leave, okay thanks for the, call.

And thanks for Calling. Griffin good luck to.

You, yeah good luck to.

You, thanks take, care mam. Bye it is a pretty wild looking, stump And i've also done my FAIR i it's. Fun i'll get excited in the. Morning in the, MORNING i get excited WHEN i take a bit Because i'm like. Trying i'm trying to lose. Weight so in the MORNING i get excited WHEN i take a big ship Because i'm, like oh my, GOD i probably my body's so empty right. Now i'm probably lost a lot of weight on loot doing. That all, Right, well, thanks thanks for listening to this

Name I'm, Kentucky.

Kentucky how old are You? KENTUCKY i am twenty?

Six Nice, YES i live In, Chattanooga, Tennessee.

Tennessee mentioned at the Beginning, kentucky a trans man living In, Chattanooga. Tennessee, well what's going, on? Dog how CAN i get you to?

This, WELL i wanted to talk to you About i've dreamed about being a tattoo artist for a really long. Time been working on my art and stuff my whole. Life it's been like the only thing THAT i really care about that. Deeply it's like affected like my relationships with other people and stuff Because i'm just so like one track mind about, IT i. Guess BUT i, recently like last, SUMMER i started a tattoo apprenticeship at a

That.

Wait, wait he's like on his driver's license it Says Captain. Deus, yeah that's. Sweet that's, awesome what's this? Guy, Like, well tell me more ABOUT i want to hear more About captain.

Devious, yeah crapt in cheesy shits he, LIKE i don't, know he, Like oh my, god he is like a textbook. Narcissist everything he says is fact. Correct if you disagree with him or inconvenience him at, all it's gonna be like there's a price.

To, pay very.

Angry man Loves, yeah he Loves facebook. Drama he loves like oh, man all the local cops hate him because he calls him for no good, reason just whenever he's piste off it, Dude, like, uh it was just. Terrible AND i found, out LIKE i don't, know there were some other apprentices at the. Shop we actually all walked out together at the end Of january.

A mutiny on the.

Captain absolutely like we left him with literally no one in his shop except for. Him. Wow, Yeah and UH i found out afterwards that like he was saying a lot of like really transfer stuff behind my back and calling me like mentally ill and. Stuff but he was using me to look better to the community so he could get queer people's. Money, still and like it was like a whole.

Thing so all, Right, kentucky tell me what's. SO i, mean, look you texted me and you were, LIKE i had to give up on a dream of mine THAT i was passionate. About so are you have you given up on your tattooing?

DREAM i don't, know, honestly BECAUSE i have been very much enlightened to how crazy the industry can, be And i'm a person that really values like my own.

Peace it sounds like you've been enlightened to how, crazy Uh Captain devious can.

Be, yeah that's.

TRUE i don't. Know, yeah it's kind of left me with just like a whole, LIKE i don't, Know i'm just kind of like feeling burnt out on the whole. Thing it's not necessarily THAT i want to give, up BUT i just don't know if it's like right for.

Me why don't? You so this was the for how old are?

You twenty?

Six and this is the first time you've gone into a studio to do.

This, yeah this is the first studio that would take me.

On, okay why so why not join another?

Studio it's hard to find a studio that is like, willing like an artist that's willing to take on an, Apprentice like finding an apprenticeship is often like one of the hardest parts about like the tattooing industry as a. Whole it's kind of like notoriously, difficult which is WHY i was willing to put up with, that BECAUSE i have friends that are in the, industry and they've all told, me, like it's going to be like a lot of like scrubbing,

Anymore do you do you have another? Job?

YEAH i work a couple other. JOBS i uh do the door at a cocktail, bar check id's and kick people out as they're being too rowdy kind of a.

Thing tatoos.

Shopping do you give tattoos to your like?

Homies, no not not. NOW i did back in the, day like you, know like a little punk rock stick and poke party type. Beat, yeah but it's been a while Since i've been like a under the table tattoo BECAUSE i want to be.

Legit do you do?

You i'm gonna get A i'm gonna go a Real Gary vaynerchuck mode on you right. Now do you? Uh do You? Instagram do you?

TikTok i am On. INSTAGRAM i don't like TikTok too much BECAUSE i don't like short form video content too, much just BECAUSE i, LIKE i don't like to sit and watch. THINGS i like putting things on in the background While i'm like drawing or doing other.

Stuff, WELL i, MEAN i, MAN i mean so to, me the solution to this is to is to find a way to pave your own path. Forward AND i only know from my own experience that the way to do that is uh through using the internet to build your own clientele base to upont to. Tattoo you.

Know, yeah that is Something i'm very aware of THAT i get like kind of nervous, about like being known, ONLINE i guess because it is a kind of overwhelming. Thing i've seen it up. Into, actually my brother he was like a really good csgo, player had like a YouTube video and he got like millions of views on his like trick shot videos and, stuff and people like started to find out about like who he was in real,

Yeah, Yeah, no it's a whole. Thing it's it's it's totally a whole. Thing But i'll But i'll. Listen i'll Say i'll say, This, okay how much do you want to be a tattoo?

ARTIST i MEAN i was looking for an opportunity for five years before this last. ONE i REALLY i just want to make, art IS i think the, thing AND i was looking for a way to make it like financially viable and do something THAT i. DO i do really love, tattooing AND i.

Love Like i'm just Gonna i'm gonna say. This i'm gonna say this to, You. Kentucky if you just want to make art and you want to have like you and you want to have like your thing that you do for money and and and separately you have your thing that you do for creative, fulfillment that is a totally, legitimate if not potentially even in some, Cases i've thought to, myself better way to live life then to make money

Do, no, ABSOLUTELY i needed to hear that from something other than inside my, brain because there's always that kind of like fight between like what you know you need to do and like what your like fear wants you to, do which is usually just grow up in a ball and.

Die.

Yeah, well because THAT'S i, mean that's the cool thing about The internet is that you can you don't have like if you just kind of build your own universe of arts and and, whatnot then you, know you you can you can build your own, world and you can become your Own Captain, devious and you can change your legal name to whatever the fuck you. Want hell, yeah So i'll say, that you. Know, SO i, mean THAT'S I i gotta. Say that's really ALL i have to.

No you're absolutely. Right AND i think it's LIKE i have no problem like talking to, people like especially like in, Person Like i'm not A i'm not a shy person by any, means BUT i think there's just like, that LIKE i feel weird about like a curated or like kind of like distilled like projection or like not coming across as authentic and then like being judged for.

That you're afraid of not coming off as? Authentic, yeah why would you? Be why are you afraid of not coming off as? Authentic?

UH i don't. KNOW i guess BECAUSE i am not like comfortable like in front of a camera or, like AND i feel LIKE i definitely overthink things BEFORE i post. THEM i don't just LIKE i don't mind myself just throw it, away you know WHAT i? Mean AND i feel LIKE i WISH i could just do that more comfortably BECAUSE i would feel a lot happier about WHAT i posted IF i didn't think about it too.

MUCH i guess, yeah, YEAH i mean that's a whole other can of. Worms is, uh you know how MUCH i MEAN i think about stuff THAT i, post BUT i also don't want. TO i don't, KNOW i don't, KNOW i don't DON'T i, COULD i. COULD i could give a whole stupid masterclass in like social media, marketing

Kentucky, absolutely, Yeah, NO i have some like height driven gains to. Make, now.

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we?

Go if you love, something just, like keep doing it even if you feel like you need to change your, trajectory like, yeah, uh just don't give up on the things you're passionate. About BECAUSE i don't, Know like it's okay if it changes, form but like don't lose what like makes you.

Happy unless if you're passionate about killing people and eating.

Them, yeah or like stealing dogs from people's.

Yards that sounds that's very. Specific did someone do that to?

YOU i mean, no not to, me but it has happened like in my neighborhood. Recently it's just on the.

Brain that's an interesting side. Hustle, actually ALTHOUGH i was talking to someone about this. Earlier dogs are a depreciating.

Asset absolutely, no They're.

Yeah they're expensive from the, jump and they only they. Only this is WHY i wouldn't buy a dog is it's it's too do. It it's not a good. Investment it only it depreciates the minute you take it off the. Lot like every year a dog gets, older it's worth less and. Less so you know that's WHY i would never buy a.

Dog, yeah, absolutely, Yeah and that's why.

Stealing if anyone's out there, listening who's thinking about stealing a dog from someone's yard to sell, it maybe that'll discourage them because there's beat you, could like stealing SOMEONE'S. Tv that makes, Sense but like a, dog it's only it's only gonna be worth less every every day it's worth. Less so don't. Don't don't steal people's dogs to sell.

Them yeah, no and they will like piss on your ship and ruin everything that you.

Love thanks for Calling, Kentucky.

Yeah no, Problem thanks for talking to.

Me do not invest in. Dogs never can goes on the line taking your phone. Calls every Nine every beacon goes to its teaching you loud.

In but he's not really an.

Expert