“I AM A DINOSAUR”

Hey, folks, it's Lyle. Before we get into the episode, I wanted to talk to you guys about a new thing I'm doing where you can help support my lizard endeavors by becoming a Premium member of this podcast over at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Premium members, or gek Legends as I call them, we'll be able to get every new and existing episode of Therapy Gecko completely

Hello, what's up man?

How are you doing, Lyle?

I'm doing good man. What's is this? Seth?

Yeah? This I am I am the Seth Seth, the.

Room, Seth. How How are you doing today?

Man?

Uh, you know, I'm doing pretty good.

I got off work work with chill.

Thursdays at work don't suck because it's slow. So, but just been hanging out at home. I saw you were last streaming on TikTok. I listened to podcasts when I'm at work all the time.

Wonderful, wonderful. What do you do for work?

Uh? So for work?

Uh, it's not that exciting. I work at a freight brokerage, right, so I deal.

With like carriers, Like I gotta.

Call carriers if something's somewhere, I gotta make sure.

They can you know, m h.

I'm also a dinosaur on the weekends, but that's I work too.

Jobs.

Okay, you. I don't know why you decided to answer this question with the freight job and not the dinosaur job. I don't know why you you just if you. I don't know what we're going to talk about through the duration of this call, but if you walk away with one thing from this interaction, I want it to be that next time somebody asks you what you do, you start with the dinosaur thing, and then on the end you are a professional dinosaur who does the freight shipment

Ship in Jurassic Trucks man.

So seth, what you want to talk about today? Wait? Hold on, I'm not well, I don't know why. Well tell me about the dinosaur thing.

Do you want to hear about the dinosaur thing?

Fuck?

I want to hear the dinosaur thing.

Okay.

So I live in Kansas and there's not a lot of stuff here. So about like seven no, no, no, no, not that long. About like six years ago, a dinosaur theme park company came here and they built a dinosaur park in the city right over, and I was like, I was like, hell, yeah, dude, I want to work there. So I just like showed up and I applied. It was live auditions, right, and I wasn't like a performers kid. So I walked in there because the thing only said be prepared to wear big shoes, and I was like

Wow, But I love it. It's amazing.

It's like inside of it looks like a spaceship. It's all metal, and there's like a headset that you wear to make all the noise. You make all the sounds yourself. But it's voice modulated, so it's like high level puppetry, you know, at a place where people, you know, we never.

See that stuff. So I love it.

I love seeing people's reactions to it.

Seth, we gotta hear some dinosaur noises.

Dinosaur noises, man, I'm usually doing the voice modulation, but if you want to, if you want.

Me to give you a little roar real.

Quick, I want to raw roar.

Try saying that you want to raw roar, It's gonna sound like Garbel.

But when I'm inside this suit, I make this noise.

You know what, I don't even think that needs voice to regulation.

You don't think that needs modulation?

Wait, okay, what what a dynad? They roar? Give me? You do any other you do? Any of what other noises do dinosaurs make? Except for roars?

Like?

What? What's it? What noises? What?

Paleontologists actually have no idea. What sounds a dinosaur made, except for like very few like horned dinosaurs, but.

It t rex.

I guess we've made like actual echoing voises. But we're going off, you know, the Jurassic Park crep. So, but I'd be like making little like snarls and shit when I'm in there, I'll be rocking around.

I'll be That sounds ridiculous, but that's what I mean.

You know, when its modulation, that's awesome.

It's crazy.

Imagine I explained to a tender date.

Oh that'd be the best tender date of all time. Showed up in the dinosaur costume.

In the dinosaur costume, dude, the dinosaur costume weighs one hundred pounds and we can't get out of.

It by ourselves.

It kind of hell pounds. Yeah, it weighs one hundred pounds, so you wear it like a big backpack. I make videos of it on TikTok and they kind of went good.

So I've been posting videos of that.

But it's like, if you ever want to check it out, you can look.

I'm not gonna plug myself because I feel like that's disrespectful, but.

You can see the whole inside of it. You wear it like a backpack. It straps in at the base. You tie your shoes into shoes attached to the t rex's legs, and then someone has to get you off a metal rack and then you're free rooming for like twenty minutes.

And is it just you or there's Is it a single man costume.

Yeah, it's a single man costume.

Yeah. You hold up.

So it's split into like two sections. Basically, it's the body, right, So the body has to be big enough for a human to like have some like arm room and you know, room for your head. But then there's a full from point on the inside of like the cage which is the body right, that controls all that movement of the neck. But you have to hold the whole head up the whole time.

It's thirty pounds just neck. You know.

What I'm imagining is like how tragic it would be. Let's say you're on the job in your dinosaur suit and all of a sudden nuclear war strikes.

Okay, dude, I was talking about this ship.

You know, you don't about to say, and everyone dies except you because you were except me by by the magical power of the dinosaur costume. But now you are stuck there and you have to die slowly.

Oh wow, I'll just die a heat stroke.

I get it.

Yeah, yeah, what's the name? What's this park? I mean, you don't have to dox yourself too much.

But I probably shouldn't say the name of it because the owner, I mean not the own, but my park manager was not too keen on the idea.

I was making.

Videos and they were getting like looked at, so he thinks I don't do it anymore, so I won't like it. But there's two in the United States, so it's just one here and then one in another state. M hmm. And did you really easy to find dinosaurs.

Or did you know anything about dinosaurs before you started this job or you have gotten into them as a result.

Dude, I had.

Known not a single thing about dinosaurs, but now I'm like, it's like all the information they feed you, like this actual information is like supposed to be intelligent shows for like young kids, so it like talks about the scientific methods, so you learn about like different bones and fossils and names of dinosaurs and groups of dinosaurs. Family, you know what I mean. M But I knew nothing, and I know too much about dinosaurs?

What can you hit? Can you hit us with like your best dinosaur fact that you would throw out?

Fact?

Let's see, let's see, let's see.

Okay, So that the t rex's.

Arms, right, most people think that they were like like really small and useless, right, because they're so small, you know what I mean. But if you look at it in proportion to like everybody thinks they're so small, But if you look at it into proportion of the whole thing, right, those arms are probably the length of someone who's six feet tall, So they would actually be used for like you know, getting down and like tearing open their prey.

That's awesome. That would actually be if you showed up to the date in the costume and you spit that fact.

You're voice modulator on or off?

Though?

Ooh on on yes, spicy do can.

You do you like speak to the kids or it's just in sounds?

No, so this is uh, it's just me making dinosaur sounds because they tried to make it as realistic as possible, you know, so it's an accurate representation of a juvenile t rex is what they they say. So, I don't know, it looks really sick. I mean some kids are terrified of it. It gets really scary, but it looks fucking sick. I don't know. Have you ever accident my legs show in the puppet and sometimes people are like two throwing out four legs. Well, so I don't get heat stroke?

Have you ever accidentally made a kid cry? Or I don't know, purposely, I don't know.

Oh, dude, all the time. It happens every weekend, and you can't see shit out of that thing. So it helps me like tell direction of where the kid is, and then I just egg it on. Like it sounds fucked up, but you get in the mode, dude, you turn into dinosaur and you're just thinking like, er, you.

Know, wait, so you can like hone in on one particular kid that you can tell is extra scared and direct your dinosaur exactly.

Yeah. So, like they don't tell us not to do this, right, because what we do is we get the littlest kid from the meat option, right, and they're like, now with this volunteer, he's going to offer our t rex delicious juicy prime, right, and then they throw like a fake chicken off the stage that's in her hand right, and then they raise the kid's arm up and they say human arm and either they start crying at that point or they start crying when the t rex is like right in front of them.

But as long as they're crying, you know you've done your job well.

Exactly. Yeah, And I don't get in.

Trouble for it.

So does that like hit? Does that hit some like part of something inside of you?

No, I don't know. I just think I'm in the zone. I take a lot of stress out through the week because you know, my main job is like you know, typing all day talking to people. So I'm like, you know what, this is my fun job. I'm gonna be a silly guy. So I just let out all my anger because this to it's like a full Boddy workout, So you're letting off a lot of team ready, you know.

So I just go for it.

But it depends, like if they're too upset or something and they're already freaking out way too much, I won't. But it's like if they're like scared, you know, and maybe they like scream or something, you know, then I'll egg it on a little bit. But sometimes they just don't stop crying.

The parents when the kids are crying, are they like laughing hysterically or are they concerned?

Yes, dude, literally everyone. I haven't had a bad interaction the parent after a show ever. They always like super grow but their kids are like crying.

The dad's always for it.

You know. That's awesome, man, that's awesome. Do you man? So you you learned a lot about dinosaurs doing this and this and this. How often are you doing this? Because you do two jobs? How often?

Yeah? So I work.

I work Monday through Friday, my main job, and then on just Saturday and Sunday I work at the dinosaur park.

And I've been doing that every single week for the last like.

Quite a while.

It's like my workout for the whole week.

Oh you know what, Seth, I also wanted to you you this none of this has anything to do with what you actually texted me to talk about.

Do you want to.

Oh no, no, absolutely perfect. I was having happy to talk to you about this stuff, you know, reptile the reptile. Yeah, so can I tell everyone what you know that you? Oh? No, go ahead, go ahead, Due in fact, you know what, there's I just gonna say, event I got a vent about this for like a second, there's a fucking one sorry, there's a fucking like one second delay between when I talk and you hear me, and when you talk and I hear you. And it's just and me fucking talking

Let's do it.

Bro pull up. I'll put you in a dinosaur.

Okay, we'll trade. I'll I'll trade you a gecko suit for a dinosaur suit.

Oh man, the dinosaur. Who it's like a Mercedes. It costs like a Mercedes.

Seth. That's us here that your mom stole your identity when you were younger and kept you from your family, and you're about to meet your sister for the first time next weekend. That's it's a left turn from the dinosaur stuff.

I know.

I feel like it's so hard. I feel like a hard shift. I hope I'm not killing the vibe.

Oh you are es?

Yeah?

Oh hell yeah.

But yeah.

When I was eighteen years old, I you know, started thinking about moving out, you know all that stuff, because I was excited to get in the world, you know what I mean.

I was ready like head first.

But my mom started going like slowly nuts and I was like freaking out. It's like, why are you a coming like this? Like what's going on?

Well?

I had a suspicion, right, and I was like, I was like, okay, I need to look into some stuff. So I started like going through the house, you know, finding stuff with my name on it, and there's like I saw like credit card bills in my name from like two thousand and seven. Right, I'm only twenty two, So how does that make sense?

You know what I mean?

So I keep going through all this stuff, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna download credit karma. Shout out credit karma for real. But I downloaded my credit report and I found out like this evening, right, this is like two days after I found out because I downloaded my whole credit report and there was a mortgage in my name, the two cars, and the fucking in the front of the house, like all this stuff was in my name. So I was like, okay,

It's like, what the fuck?

So that night I started moving stuff into my bedroom like secretly, because I didn't own a lot of stuff, and everything I owned could fit in my room. So I was like, Okay, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna move all my stuff in here and then I'm just gonna close the door when I go to school, right, And I did that, and then I moved out in the morning before she got up, but she like woke up and started tripping, and she like was like.

I'm gonna call the cops on you. And I was like, I'll call the cops.

So I called the cops, and I was like, can this is me moving out of my house? Please? But the whole time growing up, I was like for little show kids, so she like used me as her icar. The thing like I happened to do all these shows. It's a whole nother wormhole. I won't jump into it, but performing you know, make my mom hayh.

Blah blah blah.

And you know, she never let me speak to any of my family. Like I knew I had family, and it tried to reach out, like through postcard and stuff, but she never let it happen. So years go by, you know, and and I get a message from my sister. Right She's like, Hey, this might be weird, but I'm.

Your sister, and I'm like, what the hell?

So she's my half sister, right, I was never allowed to speak to my family. So my sister hits me up and she's like, she's like, hey, I'm your sister. This might son weird. So I get in contact with her and we started like talking and colling, and she's like tell me all this crazy stuff because she had like what I had happened to me by my mother, but like worse, you know. So I'm meeting her for the first time ever next month, and I'm very excited because I've never understood family.

And how old is she? She's like late thirties now, okay, and you're only twenty two. Okay, so she was m hm. And you'd never met her before, So is she like now she eight Was she eighteen before you were? Was she eighteen and out of the house like before you were even born?

Yeah? Yeah, no, because my mom didn't live where we're at now. She like lived by family and had an next husband and they had her and then she fled to Kansas.

Mhm. And yeah, because when you said that you had family, so so growing up it was just you and your mom.

Yep, it was just me and my mom all the time everywhere.

What's your dad's deal?

Well, so my dad died when I was four, So like we moved here and we lived in the trailer. But then the only can I tell you this, I don't want to sound like I don't want this sound too messed up, but the only memory.

Feel comfortable here, Okay, cool, I'm an open book man, But the only memory I really have of him is getting.

Zipped up in a body bag and that's it.

H Yeah.

So wait, like only four years old, so it was like just me and her the whole entire time.

Mm hmm. I really want to say, so this is does the dinosaur suit kind of feel like a body bag?

I guess so yeah, it really does. It's too hot and you're like, Jesus Christ give you but yeah, absolutely.

So anyway, so it's just you and your mom. Growing up was that like tough.

It was kind of like it was kind of bad. I mean, so we grew up poor, right, So we lived on this like rich side of town, but we were the one person poor in this small town. So I mean it did suck, you know, growing up like that. But then eventually we moved to the city that are job and it was like I had to do everything with her. It was crazy, Like, I know, people love their moms and I totally get that, but like there's an excessive amount of I need to be with you all the time twenty four to seven.

You know, Seth, I have to say something. For a guy who had a severe, fucked up upbringing, you are one of the most well adjusted people I've talked to on this show.

I appreciate that. Man. I try, I really do. I just try and have a good day every day because tired of bad days.

Man, when did what's your relationship with your mom?

Like now, Oh, dude, I haven't spoken her since, Like, we don't talk at all. I haven't even I ran I saw her at PetSmart like a month ago, and I like, ran I was like, nope, not dealing with her crazy ass. And that was the only interaction since then. I didn't talk to us actors.

So it's funny.

Have you, like, were you able to with with a lawyer's help or with their you know, credit card or whatever the fuck it is? Like, were you able to fix all this stuff with your identity getting stolen?

Yeah, I got it all fixed. I had to work with a firm on it. But it's like, if you you got like, just be so careful with your identity because it's not a slow process. I mean, it's not a fast process. It's like not so you'll have like if someone steels your identity, you know, and does all this stuff and doesn't pay on it or anything like, No, it's just not it's it'll just mess everything up. But

And you.

Got away from your mom at eighteen, yep, what and she didn't.

She didn't try to like come looking for me or anything, thank god, you know, a straight it was a hard cut off. And these pasts, I mean it did take a minute to just But these.

Past like four years, how have they been for you since? Since getting away?

You know, it's been pretty good, not bad at all. I I left and started the dinosaur park full time after this event had happened, right, And I was working there every single day of the week. And you know, eventually I moved on and got a different job. But and I started my own business for a while. I don't want to talk about what my business was, but it was it was a good business and I was making good money. And I was like doing really well for myself, just doing like these like archy stuff. But

I really do this business. I know you said you don't want to talk about it, but do you not want to talk about it when you the second? Here's the thing when somebody says I started a business but I don't want to talk about it, I'm like, okay, they sold drugs. But then you were like it was an arts Oh no, no, no.

Yeah, so I made I don't know, dude, A lot of people knew about this, and these people like way this businesses ended was bad and that sounds crazy, but just like you, you make so much of something and there's somebody else who makes something, you know, and that person just like I don't know if they like screw

Dude, I uh fuck, I really I really want to respect you saying you don't want to talk about it, but I'm so curious what it is, you know if are you afraid that, like it's that the community is going to find that you talked about it on this podcast.

Yeah, because it's like these people were literally Okay, so I had customers, right, and I was making these things for these customers all around the world. I did stuff. I've sent stuff to Singapore to Australia. It's stuff people perform with, you know, that's yeah, just like stuff people perform with who were on stage. But I was making these and selling them all.

Over the world.

And then this guy like started lecturing me about all my stuff. And then he was like he pulled. This guy's just a kid. He doesn't know, he doesn't know anything yet, and I like that kind of insulted me, like and then it just like everybody started being like, yeah, we're not going to do business since he's just a kid all this stuff. I'm like, dude, what what Because

I guess, bro ah, man, that's a man. Fuck, that's such a bummer man, because like no, no, no, no, because fuck those people do because you start, you star, I mean, you think were your life is, from the way that you've told it so far, has just been you fighting monstrous, uphill fucking battles and then making something out of absolutely nothing. And you're doing well, and just because you're young, you're still you're a smart fucking guy, and all these pricks are coming after you for no reason.

Right, And it's like, I don't know, I still make them. You know, I have private customers that still kept in contact, people who I trusted and stuff like that, and I'll build them things and they'll buy some stuff, and it's like it's nice, but just I don't know if I could imagine doing it back on the level I was doing it, like because I wouldn't make dude, I made so many of these things, like probably over a thousands.

There are things people perform with. You don't have to tell me if you're really that afraid of these guys.

I mean, you know what, if you think hard enough, you will know what it is they perform with them on a stage. I feel like this is like a clue game. Now comedians.

All right, yeah, you make microphones, so those I just want you Okay, hold on, I just say you know, first of all, I'm glad like the chat, which I shouldn't be doing. But everybody was guessing butt plugs, and I was also thinking it would be something sexual, but which is stupid because that's.

Oh my god. But I don't think of dude.

First, there's no fucking way that you're the that the microphone community is that niche. By the way, the people that make microphone there's there's like billion dollar companies that make microphones. They're going after you.

Dude, these guys, what are you saying microphones? Yeah, I'm no, not microphones.

Bro. Oh you didn't get it. You don't know what I'm talking about. Still, No, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Funny guys, he's on stage.

With their hand, Comedians comedians only use I mean, are you talking about comedians or clowns?

No, no, no, no, It's just it's a type of stand up comedian that puts their hand in something when they're on Uh oh.

Oh oh, Okay, all right, Yeah, I feel I feel bad because you talk about this and I coaxed you into telling us it's But I guess I'm also doing it because I did, Like I'm so fucking like a.

Dude.

Okay, I guess I feel bad that I coaxed you into explaining what it is, but also like to fuck those people. You're a good fucking guy, and you should be able to make puppets if you're so damn desire. Yeah, brother, and everyone listen, look, I would look. Here's the thing. If the puppet motherfuckers come after you, if the puppet mafia comes after you, the listeners of the Therapy Eco

Yeah, so it's it's okay, it's not the soft puppets. It's the traditional hard ones, right, the sculpted claim like mechanized, not like the simple muff like muppet ship if that puts in any perspective, because are.

Those like are you into puppetry yourself?

Uh?

Yeah, I am kind of in the poetry. I think it's pretty hard. That's why I was my mother's show kid for so many years. She was like, oh my god, he has something.

That's milk it.

So I was doing like stand up, you know, like night bars when I was like thirteen with the puppet, and it's like, how why do you do this?

Do you?

Okay, so I'm actually curious about this. Okay, So you were a shown kid for your mom, which I assume was like not a pleasant upbringing. But like, I mean, these days we.

Had to go eat bring a puppet.

Wait, what is that? Every time you had to go eat, you had to bring a puppet.

Yeah, because that's what I was doing, right, I was doing that as my show kid thing.

Oh, like to make money to eat or like when you were going out to a restaurant, you had to bring a puppet.

It was like mandatory.

I just had to bring a puppet every time because all she wanted was like attention brought, you know what I mean. So it's like anytime I couldn't even go to like a faster place. Get in the court, like, dude, get over it. It sounds so crazy. I'm so sorry. I know everybody's like you, this.

Is much, but what why are you so? This is one of my favorite calls of taking in a while, they'll be sorry, Well, hell.

Yeah, I just think it sounds so crazy, you know what I mean? Like, who I have never ran into this with somebody, you know, man, this is weird.

Oh yes, okay, I remember what I was gonna ask you, So okay, So obviously this was it was a shitty thing, your mom making you a show kid and everything. But like to this day, you as a twenty two year old and you do do puppetry. That's what you do with your dinosaur thing, Like do you have an independent desire to pursue comedy or puppetry or any of this?

Well, see I did it for like ten years, like growing up because I started doing it when I was five, and I did it all the way to like, well, there's gonna be more than ten years probably, but like eighteen or seventeen right right until I moved out. So I'm like, I want to just do stand up by myself. I feel like I could figure something out because I don't know. I've used puppet for so long. I'm by something different.

You should, man, you should definitely try to and stand up if you want to. You, I mean, you're in let's see, I'm doxing, so I'm not gonna. I won't. I won't say where you live unless if you want to tell.

Me, right, Oh, I live in Kansas. You can say that.

Someone says someone said open for I shouldn't read the chat, but someone of the chat said open for Lyle. Yeah, you want to open for me if I come to.

Get a lile puppet going bro if.

You if you make a there, if you make a therapy echo puppet and you have an act, you can absolutely open for me if I if I ever come to Kansas.

Oh hell yeah, I'll just show up with it. I'll sit in the front road for you.

Perfect cool man.

So mmm.

Hmm, I still have questions. I still have so many things I want to talk to you about. Did you ever enjoy any of the show life stuff or was all of it just like a a thing?

No, some of it was really cool, Like some of them money, like like I usually didn't get to keep the money, but like if it was a special occasion and we did something like important, you know what I mean, and we got like a paycheck for it, like sometimes I get the money.

That was pretty sick.

But that was like really my only like motivation other than hearing. Like after I do a set with this dummy, it's like all people like reacting a thing, you know, like clapping stuff like That's like that was a great feeling. That was very nice. So I look forward to that. But I don't know, just writing jokes was fun. I used to try and write my own jokes all the time.

Uh do you still write jokes?

Yeah? Okay, so here this is recent, Like I didn't I haven't done these in a long time, but I've started smoking, you know, and then writing some jokes down on my notepad on my phone. I just start thinking and I'm like, this would be funny. So yeah, but they just closed their one comedy club here literally as I started this.

So what can I hear? I know it's awkward to like do stand up in a non stand up setting, but I kind of want to hear one of these jokes.

Oh my gosh, I don't have anything ready yet. Man, No, you.

Don't want to share a little notebook scribble? We could we could workshop?

No, not yet, not yet.

Okay, no worries. What about bar shows? Man? You ever every every everywhere has where in Kansas do you live?

I live in, like the largest city?

What's the largest? See? You don't have to keep giving me personal I'm sorry I keep asking for personal information. What's the largest city in Kansas? I was, what's the largest isn't it? What's the largest city in Kansas? I have no idea?

Are you or are you asking me?

I mean?

Is it?

People are saying Kansas City. No, Kansas City isn't in Kansas.

Yeah?

No, it's right smack in the middle almost.

Okay, whatever, It doesn't matter anyway where if you live in, if you live in the largest city of Kansas, if you go on Facebook and you type the city name and like comedy, you'll find like a like a comedy Facebook group. Usually every big city is like a comedy Facebook group that like posts all the open mics and stuff, and you can get into the open mic scene. You don't necessarily need like a comedy club comedy club. You can always find the open mics at like bars and stuff.

Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. I don't know why that didn't connect to my head for a couple of times thinking about this, but yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean it's most there's a lot of musicians here, so it's like not not the musicians, not magicians, but musicians.

I I fucked around doing stand up comedy and going to open mics and getting being in the scene and stuff for like six years before I started doing this, and it was a lot of fun. It's a great way to make friends. It's a great way to get in the community, you know.

Oh yeah, absolutely, dude, Yeah, I want to. I'm definitely gonna look into it because I think I need to. I think it's a good idea.

Oh. One aspect of this of your story that I we didn't get to is you're meeting your sister for the very first time next weekend.

Yeah, dude, I don't even know what to think about that. She seems really cool. Like we've been talking. I have an airbnb and going up there, so I'm spending a weekend. And man, I don't even know. She like kind of looks like me, and it's like crazy to see someone that kind of looks like you. But I don't know. I'm very excited, but also nervous because I don't understand family feelings, you know what I mean. So it's a

So I'm hype.

And you were told by her or that she experienced something very similar.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So they didn't have the best relationship either, is what she told me. She's told me some like crazier stuff like being locked in the closet for hours type stuff, you know what I mean. So it's like, oh my gosh, Jesus Christ. So yeah, this woman's crazy, I do.

I'm so I'm so fascinated by how chill of a guy you are. Was with all this horrible ship that you've gone through.

Well, I wasn't like this five years ago, man, dude. I literally was like so upset to the point where I had like really bad anger.

As she used.

So I literally just like I relaxing and doing things that I liked, and I'm just I'm gonna try to be super now. And it's like it's worked for me because I'm not yelling every single day now, you know what I mean, I'm being productive and doing stuff, so I don't have a reason to be upset.

M What do you want that of talking to your sister if anything? Like if the interaction, I.

Just want, man, I just want to build the relationship with my sister, you know what I mean. Because I'm so young, it's like, why not really explore its out there? Why not see what this family thing is about and and reach out. So I'm I'm just hoping I get a good friend, you know, a good sister, Uh, someone who I can just like talk to a whole bunch of stuff too. I don't know, it's just so new to me. I don't I don't have a person to

Yeah, I was gonna ask do you have your friends where you are?

Yeah?

I have a couple of close friends. I'm taking my friend is coming with me to drive to Omaha because I don't want to do all that driving by myself. I get bored.

So you're bringing a friend with you to my friend eight years.

Yeah, but she's like doing her own thing like that.

So that's what we discussed.

So she's gonna like go explore Omaha as well. And it's like pretty cool that, like, not only do I get to experience something, she gets to go see whatever she would like to go see.

Yeah, she gets to uh explore all there is to do and see. And Omaha, Nebraska, No, they actually have they have a cool aquarium. I think. I'm pretty sure they're known for having a cool aquarium. It's either them or Lincoln.

Yeah, a zoo or something. I was reading that.

Yeah, okay, yeah, go to the I've heard the I've heard good things about the Omaha Zoo. I was. I was in either Omaha or Lincoln. They're like right next to each other, aren't they.

Yeah?

Yeah, well shit, Seth, What's what what's next for you?

Man?

What's your ultimately? What's your goal in life? What do you want to do with yourself?

Man?

Honestly, my goal in life is just to create. I don't know, it's like either that being like like I'm super into making videos and I'm super into like building stuff and painting stuff. Like I just made like twelve abstract paintings like over the last couple of months and

I'm sure it will.

Ifept come my mind to it, and you get to terrorize a lot of children along the way. How exciting.

Oh yeah, I.

Want I want to b tier than one in Universal Studios because everybody thinks that to me is not.

Oh there's oh yeah, there's a bit. You can take your picture with a big ass dinosaur at Uh yeah.

Just as like Blue I think, is what his name is.

Listen, man, I here's the thing. I have no pull in the dinosaur puppeteering industry, but if I did know the guy from the oh yeah, there you go, Seth. Man, I'm rooting for you. I I I'm really genuinely, I'm really impressed. It's by by you, man, because you're it seems like you just grew up. I mean, it just seems like you had to face a lot of like totally shit circumstances. But nonetheless you're like out here like starting businesses and fucking trying to you know, do good

Thanks man. You have no idea how much that means. I really appreciate.

That, Seth. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Man?

I just you guys out there, man, like you're going to do great things in life. Just can you can do whatever you want you put your mind to it. But I appreciate you having me here giving me my time. I hope that all you guys out there have a good night, stay cool.

God bless you, Seth, take care.

God bless loo you man.

Bye bye, the offers open. I'm being serio. I don't like to I don't like to promise shit that I don't think I can uphold. I'm being serious. If Seth sends me a thing, If I come to Kansas and Seth sends me a DM and he's like, hey man, i'm gonna I started doing stand up or I started a puppet act and I want to open for you in Kansas, I'm in. I'll play this clip before the show. That'd be sick, Seth. If you're hearing this offers on

Yes, I have.

Yes, it's been an ongoing thing for the last two or three months now.

So yeah, do you get it?

Do you get points?

Actually, they always give me like free like snacks if I want like gum or something from like the aisles or something.

Really, they'll give you free gum in the aisles, yes, and all you have to do is fuck them.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's after hours, so I can literally walk through an empty store and just pick out what I want.

That's a grocery store hack if I've ever heard one.

Yeah.

So I was kind of confused, like, were you working at a grocery store when when this started happening?

No? No, I just was one day walking into the first one was Dollar Tree, and a guy hit me up, like as I was walking to my car, It's like, hey, do you want to come back in an.

Hour because it's going clothes? And I said sure, why not? Yellow?

That's awesome? How okay, So, how how like did you do? How much did you talk, like actually talk to him before he invited you to come see him after the store closed?

I sent two sentences and then some pictures so.

You know they're they're there. You know, language, you don't have to use a lot of words.

Language is universal, so you know, and it's also connection.

I guess, so is a language is universal? Our dick pics universal. Very surprised to hear a woman yell yes to that question. Portland's a cool town, I guess so, hmmm, so where do you what app? Did you meet him on grinder? Grinder? Yeah, dude, grinder like grinder seems fucking awesome.

Yeah.

I saw those one video where someone said they should like rename themselves fruit by the foot because you.

Get to see where the person is by the feet. It's not like tinder where someone's like a mile or something.

Wait, you see where the person is that wants to hit you up by the foot.

For a second, I thought you were talking about their penis size.

Oh no, no, no.

Do they have Is that? Is that a thing you can put on there like your penis size?

A lot of people do.

Yeah, but like it's not like it's not like a thing where you like tap a drop down window and like are scrolling to you put it in the bio.

You put it in by this little picture someone's smiling like this and be like eight inches uncut.

The legit. That's how it is. Yeah, now limit is like smiling.

Now what was the first encounter?

Like?

You know it was? It was nice.

Although he took me to the back where they were still had a bunch of boxes they had to unload. So we had to walk through a maze of boxes to find like his station like in the back, and so I kind of felt like I might have was gonna get killed.

But it is that like a legitimate concern for real m not anymore really. Yeah, but would it suck to die at the Dollar Tree?

Yeah?

Would have been better if it was to die at a Walmart or something more fancy.

Dude, I feel like dying at a bed bath and beyond would be kind of sick.

That great?

Yeah, So how was it that you got like addicted to this kind of type? What was it about sleeping with the guy in the back room of the Dollar Tree that made you want to sleep with a guy in the back room of Walmart? And then Target and then all these other places.

It's just I don't know, the thrill of it is fun because it's like I mean, it was, I don't really want to like danger because it's they're the manager. What what am I gonna get in trouble with?

Has there been any a question? Has there been any like classical conditioning thing going on with you? Where like when you have to actually go to the grocery store and you like walk by the double doors and you see like unpacked boxes, you just like get hard. No, okay, that's sound, that's healthy.

I do picture though, like going to a new new grocery store and seeing like I'm peek in the back and think, could I.

Really so what have you? Have You gone to grocery stores just to like scope out the vibe.

No, it's usually when I'm getting groceries.

Look, this is a safe space. If you have it's totally fine.

Yeah.

Well no, it's just like if I gotta stop by a grocery store and pick up.

Some cereal, I'll just walk by like the back area.

Of all the different guys, which guy was the best sex? And what store did he work at?

Safeway? Safeway?

Dude, you answer that so fast? You just sold a lot of Safeway membership cards. What was it that made him so good?

It was just so good.

It was very How don't you want me to tell?

I mean, everybody in this city has done way worse, So go into detail if you desire.

It was just so good because first of all, like he was great at eating ass, great, great, he was literally Ei, there's something there with eating ass. You know how they say eating ass like groceries.

Yes, there's something there with that.

He did eat the groceries.

Groceries, yes, yes, okay, so he ate ass well? What about Did you connect with him on an emotional level a little?

Not really but like he was nice? All right? Yeah?

So all right, so Safeway, he's like the toxic bad boy that eats ass well. Who's like of the guys, were there any of them that you felt like there might have been an emotional connection with?

There was one in like Beaverton, like a pet store that I went to.

And like, dude, way whole hour, any of these guys, have you fucked Jesus Christ? Which which pet store?

I don't know it was. It was like a mom and pop one. It wasn't a big chain one, but like, I don't remember.

You just you just fucked a guy's son who was working there and not getting paid. He was like, if I'm not getting paid, I'm getting.

Laid No, But like you know, it's I've been doing like big chains.

I wanted to go down and support my local community.

Dude, Hell yeah, giving back to the community. I love that oh Man did. Did his did like the family find out that he was like fucking were you fucking him?

In the store.

Yeah, do you fuck all these guys in their stores?

Swear to god? Yeah? Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah was it? Like?

But here's the thing I feel like of all the different places a pet store.

I mean, the smell.

While you're like, you'r think you're like, it's not often that dog shit is wafting in your face while you're getting head.

Yeah, but I mean like just sucking suck it in and just go for it, you know, and just have a good time.

Yeah, what's your kind of I want to know a little about your like life outside of this?

H what do you what do you do for a living? We're gonna bank? Yeah you ever? Oh god, no, no.

What do you mean? Oh god?

No, no, what do you mean?

Oh god? So it's cool if they do it, but not you.

Yeah, no, it's yeah. I'm not not the bank, man. Do you not the bank? What is it about?

What is it about the bank that makes it more sanctimodious than fucking target?

You know, that's a good question. I don't know.

Is that again, you're not working with the bank. I appreciate you trying to make sense of this. I really do, I really do. Yeah, you ever like I'm trying. I'm trying to think of something with an ink packing coming, but that's stupid.

Use it as what's your late.

You?

Okay, so you've thought about sucking at the bank enough to make that comment. Oh yeah, the vault. Fucking in the vault sounds kind of sick because you could do it. You could do a little bit of you can do a little bit of like Cops and Robbers role player make a deposit, Yeah, come deposits. Yes, this is this is this is why I.

Do this, all right?

What's your what's your ultimate dream in life?

Ultimate dream is to just know that I left a good mark on the world.

It sounds like you share this. What's your name again?

Angel? Angel?

Does anyone in the crowd have any questions for Angel?

Anyone at all?

None of this is sparking curiosity in any of you. You sir, what's the next?

Oh?

Yeah, good, yeah, what's your what's what's that? What's the big score?

The big store? Oh? Ship? No? Actually, you know what Costco we gotta do car.

Everything, every super large you know, you get super sized.

So yeah, you.

Know you're thinking. The logic is that the guys at Costco have big dicks.

Yeah, what is it?

I don't know what now? What? What what does that say about the guys at Dollar Tree? Yo? What's that saying about the guys at the pet store?

I got it?

Any of any of the questions for are we about to erect a national monument of where you fucked the guy at the safe? Which you don't have to you don't have to say, which said I know you, yes you some yes you raising your head? Has some dude? Has somebody ever fucked you so badly that you had to ask to speak to their manager?

I guess prob Well, they are the manager, so like it's the managers. They have the story keys and they let me in, So there's always the manager, well except the pet story dude.

But it's a mom and pop shop.

So she would say you're attractive to power.

You know that. That's actually a good point.

Yeah, there's something hot about a set of keys. Yeah, just yes you.

Oh if I have I don't know about it.

I mean we usually go to like the back office or like they got like they know where the cameras are, so it's like the corner where like it's a blind spot.

So I haven't caught yet.

Does it question? Does it concern you at all?

Yes, that the people who you're fucking in these stores have done it enough that they have a spot where they know the cameras can't see them.

No, you're fucking cool man. I like you.

You're a brangile everybody. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of Portland before we go?

Are there any managers in here tonight? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

Yeah, you're just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

Yea in less good for Angel one more time, Thank you, ma'am.

And Joe and Joe and Joe and Joe and Joe and Joe and Joe and Joe get a Brangel, everybody, one more time?

Who's Who's horny? K goes on the line taking your pone calls every line, never goes to just teaching your line.

He's not really an expert.