Hello, it's going mam. Right, what's new with you? Actually, everything with you is to me because I don't know who you are, So anything you could possibly say would suffice as an answer to that question.
Sure, I get some the immediate just sitting here watching the screen too, with chat and you smoking cigar, drinking bourbon.
Any particular reason you called in tonight?
I mean I had a ship story, So give the people what they want, right, Oh?
Yeah, what's going on with your ship thing?
Yeah? So kind of keeping this kind of showed my hand before I you know, I said, what's going on? But keeping the secret from my wife. She doesn't really know about it right now. We went to a wedding it's been about a year now and it's it was one of her best friends, and I was pretty hungover. I was having some stomach issues that night and just went to the restroom, you know, at the reception. It was just you know, going to take a shit, and then all of a sudden, it was, you know, pretty nasty.
It was.
I had a lot of work to do, you know, and ended up clogging the toilet so bad that it was kind of overflowing a bit. But it wasn't one of those where you know, you know immediately it was going to happen, like I flushed once, thought it was going to be, you know, just a two plush type situation. So went to go flush again and it just started and pouring out, and I canic and just darted out of there, guard out of the restroom, and then sat back down in my seat at the at the table,
just continued to cood because it's kind of mortified. Didn't know what to do.
M Yeah, that's always a good strategy because here's the thing. How many people are at this wedding reception? You think?
I mean I fired the ballpark? It probably two fifty three hundred.
Okay, so nobody who could possibly know it was you?
No, no, no, no, it was It was crazy.
I mean I would have done the exactly did.
Pass the guy. I passed the guy on the way out, but there were multiple stalls and he didn't do it into that stall.
Okay, So no witnesses, Yeah, no witnesses, all right, Yeah, no, I totally totally would have done and have done the exact same thing.
Well.
See, the thing is, like I said, if it was you know, just one of her, you know, one of her friends. I really wouldn't have cared. I wouldn't have thought about it this beat. But it's like a friend we see all the time, and I don't know if she got floated the bill or anything like that. Like
I feel really bad. I don't want to be known as the guy that you know costed her quite a few one hundred dollars I guess, because like they ended up closing the restroom, like on the on the way out, there were like I don't know if there were plumbers or whatnot, but they were people that did not work for that perception hall in that restroom, and the restroom was closed.
Okay, so you really did some damage there.
Yeah, I mean it you should have seen it while it was top five, so.
You know, I uh, do you know for a fact that your wife's friend was fronted the bill? Because you can't really ask without sounding a little guilty.
So yeah, so if you ask, then you pretty much played your hand. You know, she knows right off the bat that you know that somebody clogs the toilet.
And.
She's gonna question that it's you. But I mean, I can pay for it, no problem, But I'm just I don't want to be I want to be known as that guy.
You know right right here. Listen, here's the thing I'm gonna give you. You don't always have to do the right thing. I don't do the right thing all the time. Uh. This is that this might be a situation in which it might not even be the right thing to do the right thing, you know, I mean, what kind of fuck it does anybody do the right thing every time? Nobody does? Sometimes you just you.
Can just you're lieing.
If you say you do.
Yeah.
So yeah, I mean if I were in your position, there is there's no way. I mean, the the wife could be at dinner with uh, the wife's friend could be at dinner with you and your wife and she could be talking about how she had the front of bill for this clogged toilet, and I still would not say anything. That's me And is that the right thing to do? No, not at all. The right thing to do is to pay for the damn toilet. But like I said, you don't have to do the right thing.
I mean, who the fuck always says the right thing? Yeah, so you're good. But also I'm a get go guy only, so my opinion is worth nothing.
But maybe we should I mean take a step back. Maybe not tell the friend, but tell my wife. If you tell the wife, tell her everything.
Yeah. If you tell a wife, can tell a friend.
Yeah. Actually, so I'm taking this to the grave right.
Actually, I don't know if the wife would tell them. I mean I don't know. I don't know the relationship between the wife with the friends. But I feel like if the wife, you might tell her, and then the wife might also be extremely embarrassed and not tell a friend too, which could potentially make your bond with your wife go stronger, because now you guys have a mutual secret which brings people together.
That's a that's a dangerous game.
There game to play.
I mean, we got other ship that we you know, keep us together. I don't think a ship story he's going to do it?
Well, then what's your name again?
Ray?
I think you're gonna die with this one.
Yeah, so we're going to the grave with chat.
Huh yep. I mean I won't tell anyone.
You're a real one.
Thanks for calling, Ray, have good one.
Hello, Hi, can you hear me?
I can hear you? Is this Abby Adi or Abby?
It's sebbi?
All right? You kind of cut out and and I kind of missed the answer to the question, but it's okay. I'm probably gonna forget your name uh in two seconds because I'm bad, not because of any other real I just I think I genuinely and I'm not being funny anymore. I do think I genuinely have some kind of a short term memory loss because people think I like do it on the show as a bit, but in my in real life, I've been meeting people and they'll tell me their name and I'll forget it, you know, five
seconds into meeting them. So it's nothing against you. I just think I've i don't know, smoked too much pot and eating too much candy that I just can't do names anymore, which is fine. The names don't really matter. We're all gonna die very soon.
It kind of sounds like the story of my life with like most of the guys I talked to, they all seem to have short term memory loss, so I'm used to it.
Okay, great, Great, So you're you're comfortable and accepting of my condition, and I appreciate that very much, and I would love to hear what is going on with you in your life, Addie.
So my last boyfriend we broke up a few months ago, and it was nearly because he was dealing with depression, and at first he was very accepting of me being supportive with that in him, and then he just decided that he couldn't do it anymore and decided to break up. And last week we started talking again and turns out he wants to get back.
But.
He also wants to transition genders.
Mhm okay, yeah, and I must say like I I am bisexual, which is like I'm whatever.
But I fell in love with him as a man, and now I'm unsure. I don't know what to do.
Mm hmm okay, okay, I can see what sure, I can see why this will inspire conflicting feelings.
Interesting.
So so, so this person and you broke up because they were going through some stuff. And then how long were you, guys separated from?
Almost six months?
About six months? Okay? What were you doing in those six months?
Well, two weeks, around two weeks after we broke up, one of my grandparents passed away, so I was dealing with that. Other than that, I was just focusing on work, going to work and taking myself to the gym to get my mind off the breakup.
And how did your life in those six months? And it's just kind of a hard question to answer because there's probably a lot of different variables involved, especially you know, the death of a family member, But how did your life without this person compare to your life with them?
It didn't seem as happy as when he was part of it. And I also have a kid, and they did get to meet, and so whenever she saw me sad, she would always tell me, you know, like everything's okay, he loves you, and it would just make me cry. Okay, But yeah, I have to get used to not getting those cute messages from him or snaps, which kind of sucked, but I had to get through it in a way.
Is uh, this this your your kid? Is this a kid you had with your ex?
No? No, Before we started dating, I had been married and my ex husband is my kids sad?
Okay, And so this ex that you want to get back together with, did you guys have no contact for these six months?
Yeah? At first I would message him just stuff like hey, like whatever is going on, just like don't hurt yourself stuff like that. And I do have to admit I did miss him a lot, obviously, so from time to time I would like try to check up on him
and he wouldn't reply. So it really caught me by surprise when I had a message from him from actually last month, because we met on an app and after we started dating, well, I stopped using that app, and for some reason I felt like going back on it, and that's when I saw I had a message from him.
Oh, they sent you a message, yeah, on this app. Why did they send you a message on the app and not text you? That's kind of I mean, I guess it's not right, kind of a strange mood.
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, Why not just send me a text? Because I stopped using that app, but I just had this feeling to go back on it, and that's when I saw his message. But yeah, I mean it would have been just easier to send me a text, I guess.
Okay, So this okay. So there were a lot of kind of problems between you guys as a result of this person's depression, which they said that they needed some time a part to take care of, which is reasonable.
Right, Well, we didn't have any problems. I was actually really supportive throughout that time before the breakup. What really caught me off by surprise was that one day, while being at work, he just randomly asked me if I thought he was a narcissist, which taught me by surprise because right away I told him no, like, I've been with a narcissistic person before and he didn't quite fit that criteria, and yeah, I was just trying to reassure
him that he wasn't. Again. I was super supportive throughout his depression, and then one day I was just missing him really really bad, and I got emotional and I really wanted to call him, but at the same time, I didn't want to bother him, so I just told him we were talking about it, and he told me he was gonna watch a streamer on Twitch, and so I told him like, okay, well, I won't bother you.
And not even a minute passed and he replied with okay, I love you good night, which I was like, okay, like, you're taking a bit to reply to me, but when I tell you I'm not going to bother you, you reply right away, okay, whatever, And so I started typing this text and I said, you know, well, if you have some narcissists sick, I can't hearing you like disregarding other people's feelings because I was hurt and I emotionally m yeah, I was emotionally impulsive when I hit Scent, and I
rewrited it right away. And so he didn't talk to me for four days, and the day he got back to me, that's when he told me like, hey, I can't do this anymore, like I'm sorry, we're breaking up. And so since then I keupd blaming myself because he was at a low point in his life with depression. And then here I come with those words.
You know, well, uh, you know, I mean, I think I feel like we've talked with this on here and this is a common sentiment. But somebody else's By the way, I'm not a real therapist. I'm a guy in a gecko costume on the Call of Duty website.
Yeah, but.
Somebody else's you know, mental health dealings with is sort of a product of them. And you can't really blame yourself for, you know, other people having depression and having to deal with it. That's a lot to take on. What this to me comes down to is is your life better or worse with this person in it? That's the crux of what we're trying to figure out, I don't I don't know. I obviously cannot answer that question for you. But that's what you should sort of ruminate on.
What I'm sure you have been ruminating on.
Well, we had spoken about getting married in the future, having kids, and my daughter he always treated her as his home and so I was really, you know, looking into the future with that because when we matched on that app like, I wasn't looking for anything, and he was very persistent, but I was happy. And when he came into my life, slowly but surely, he just completed me in that way. So when he tells me that he wants to transition into a woman, I I wasn't
angry at it at all. I did tell him, well, if you like to dress as a woman, like, I have nothing against it. It's just I fell in love with you as a guy, you know.
Yeah.
And I even asked him like, well, what's your plan if you like, do you still want to have kids? He said yeah, And so I asked him, like, what's the plan done? Like how how do you want that to work? And so he said that he would keep certain areas with his for that.
Uh.
But Also, what I'm trying to understand is like he's always wanted to have a son so he can have that relationship that him and his dad had when he was growing up. So I just want to know, like how, you how how would we make it work if he wants to change gender and still have like that father figure.
M hm m hm, ma'am. This is a very very tough issue. I don't have any sort of right answer, but I have, like, I don't know, I have thoughts because I'm thinking about your your ex, this person, and I'm sure for them with everything they're dealing with and just in their life in general, both of you guys should have people as your significant other that you're excited about, you know, and this person transitioning, I mean, that's a
big part of who they are. It's important enough to them to transition that they're going to do it, and it becomes a big part of this person's identity that they are now living and presenting as a woman. And they should have somebody in their life who is accepting and not just accepting, but like excited about it and embracing it. And you should have somebody is your significant other who you're excited about and who you embrace fully
and that's really hard. So I do believe both of you should have people in your life who you're excited about. And I don't. I don't know. I don't know how you would sort of come to terms with that, because this, this being a big deal for you is what it is. You know, this having its problems for you is what it is, and it's it's a hard thing to reconcile with.
I don't know all I all I really feel about this situation is that both of you should be really excited about each other and about who each other is. And I don't know with you, like and I do this is all speculation, you know, this is a tough issue.
And I'm a guy and I got of costum on the internet, but uh, like, could you these are just ideas I'm playing with in my mind, Like could you, you know, be initially resistant to this but put in some effort and learn to embrace it, and both of you kind of can move forward with that understanding that that you're going to put an effort towards this thing and towards embracing it, or will that not work? And I don't know. I don't know if that will work or not. I really have no idea.
I feel like initially I I would and like I told him, like I have no issue with him dressing as a woman, Like it doesn't, it doesn't bother me, It wouldn't bother me. And I know it's it's a slow prop that he has to get into hormones and all of that stuff. It just hurts because I love him so so much, and like I obviously want to see him happy, and sure I appreciate that he also wants to get back with me. I don't know. I feel like in the end, he would become the one that got away. As cliche as.
It might sound, Okay, and here's another thing. You know, you say you don't mind this person dressing as a woman. You know, I don't know. And this and this what I'm about to say, this would this would be part of you, you know, needing to make an effort into this to make it work. Is like, you know, I don't know, I don't know this person's name whatever. But they're not just talking they're just talking about dressing as
a woman. They're talking about transitioning into a woman. Wanting you to really see them as a woman, wanting you to call them she her. You know, it's a lot more I feel like that they would want from you than just hey, it's cool with me if you put on women's clothing, and you know, you would have to decide if you wanted to be with this person, if
that's something you could really apply effort into. And it could just be you know that this person has gone through a lot of struggles and changes and fighting thoughts in their brain and they kind of came out with this is what I need to be happy. And it could be And again I'm just throwing out various different ideas. I'm thinking it could be that this person transitions into a woman and that makes them very happy, and as a byproduct of that, you two become incompatible. That could
be it too, Yeah, and that might be hard. But if you really do love this person, you really do want to see them happy, I think you could find it in them. I think you could find it in
yourself to accept that. I think if you really really love this person, I think you could find it within yourself to either accept that in this new stage of their life, you guys are incompatible, but you wish them well, or you're going to make a concentrated effort to really get to know them as they are and get to love them again in this new stage of their life. And I don't think either of those options is the
right one or the wrong one. But I hope that at least in talking about these you have a better perspective on how you can move forward. Yeah, that makes sense.
I'm getting. The other thing would yeah, it does. And the other thing I'm getting would be how to explain it if let's say we do go as far as like getting married and all of that, because I know some people wouldn't be as accepting, wouldn't really understand soul. And well, I'm Hispanics, so my family some of them are very old school, and I know they wouldn't understand it as easily. So and I mean, like I could care love with you think if I'm with someone that I love.
And yeah, yeah, and this is this is this is part of you know, this is information that you have to think about and considering way when you're making you know, one of I mean, at least what I see is as one of the two decisions that that you can make, which is the decision to accept that you guys are incompatible at this point, or to accept that you're going to have to make a you know, concentrate effort into
understanding this person again. But yeah, Addie, you know I I think I think it's good that you're thinking about all this stuff so deeply because it means that you care. I think I think I've said, uh what I think about this, and I want to know if there's anything else that you you want to say or cover before we go.
I would I would really have to think it through thoroughly. Should yeah, because nothing would make me happier than to see him happy, and if that means transitioning, then as long as.
He or she is happy, you know, ADDI, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Thank you? Get You're not a real therapist, but you are really good at giving advice and just being someone to listen.
Thank you very much, man. I appreciate you, and I will I'll talk to you soon. Good luck.
Thank you.
Super super tough issue. Super tough issue. I don't know if I have any wrap up thoughts. I feel like I said everything I needed to say about that. I'm surprised that I was able to formulate the thoughts that I that I formulated on that call, because that is a very, very tough issue. But to sum it up, I think that, yeah, those are kind of what I
see at least. It's her two options is two forms of acceptance, the first one being Okay, this person is moving into a new phase of their life, and I love them and before them, but we are simply not compatible in this new phase of their life. That's the one. Or this person is entering a new phase of their life, and because I love them so much, I'm going to put forth the effort of entering it with them, which means understanding and fully realizing that this person is now
a woman, and I will treat them as such. I will think of them as such. I will defend them against my family, I will defend them against you know, anyone else who thinks that what we're doing is wrong. And I will will really take up that challenge, and that challenge will be important to me to put action toward because I love this person and neither of those are the the other right or wrong answer. It's just about in the end, what'll make her happier, which I
don't know, because I am not her. I am a gecko on the computer. Hello, Hello, how you doing?
Was ship's you?
It's me.
I'm doing I'm doing. I didn't think here a pick up, but I'm doing great.
Tell me everything?
He uh, well, recently, Uh, I met this girl off the dating app, like last Sunday, and everything moved pretty fast. We had sex in the back of my friend's car, like two days later. We're still talking and he tells me that she's like surprised because she's never really like I met a guy who like treated her the way that I do and so open and time and all that, and she's like, she's just like spressing out your fields. And then I kind of jumped the gun.
I went a bit too fast.
I should have thought more about what I was gonna say, but I ended up basically saying that every down to get serious and see like what we have and see where it could go.
I'm ier said I'm ready to see where it goes, and she was like, I like that, and then I like ended up dating from that moment and that ended up having on like fucking last Tuesday, and so we've been dating.
This timeline is completely at this point. But good, then you're go ahead. I'll ask for terarification later. Let me get let me get the rest of these details, all right.
So I.
From Tuesday onward to in between Tuesday to yesterday, she's like she's basically seeing me as that needle in a haystack kind of person that like she's found the right guy. Okay, that will like treat her right because she has a she we had talked about it and she has like she's been with many guys and they all kind of treat her like crap and all that.
So what is what's your issue here?
Was So yesterday when we were hanging out, I've it's been waiting on my mind, was that I don't really feel the same way for her that she does for me, and so I actually told her how I felt, and we ended up breaking up on the spot.
And okay, so you dated this girl for about today.
We were pretty much okay, And so we're talking today every today, and she was telling me that she because on Saturday we had we had no protect effect and I came inside her and she had told me today that she forgot to take the pill on Saturday. And so we were currently talking about it earlier, and based on her cycle, there's like a seventy five percent chance
that she might get pregnant. And she she tried to go to get Plan B today at the store, but she was trying to do it the screen because her parents are like very conservative in pro life, but they found out and so they pretty much like grounded her right now, and so I'm just trying to like comfort her through it. And she's like super scared and she doesn't know what to do, but I don't know what
to do either. But I'm just trying to keep calm and like think of all the possible ways to help her out because she wants she we both don't want a child. We both know that we're not ready for one. We're pretty young and all that, And I'm just trying to like let her know that if I have to, I'll do what I can. If she ends up being pregnant, then I'll do what i can to be a father pretty much.
Okay, say, if you talked about what you guys are going to do if it turns out that she's pregnant.
We haven't talked about it too much. We've just mainly been discussing on the different things to do, to the different routes to go for trying to either take an emergency contraceptive, which I think after today, if you were to take one then it just wouldn't work.
I don't I don't know. I'm not a doctor, I'm a gecko, but I don't know what the whole window is for emergency contraceptives. But if you're gonna do, if you're going to try to get an emergency contraceptive, I would suggest getting off the phone with me and going to find one right now, if that is your plan.
So we we talked about it, but because their parents tried to get one, but her parents pretty much like found out and stopped her, and so well, dude, why.
Don't you try to go get one if the plan is to get one.
I don't have a car.
I mainly use my friend's car, and he's kind of like away right now. He probably won't be back till later in the night.
Jose and Jose, if you if you and this girl, do you do you not feel like you are able to have a kid and you're trying to get rid of this issue before it becomes a bigger issue. Walk to CBS, get off the phone with me and walk there. Take the three hour, take the three hour walk to CBS, and then walk another two hours to her house. You don't need a car. You need to take care of this problem, my friends, what are you doing this? You
don't have a car? Well, freaking walk there, dude. The time is running out.
If this is the plan, all right, you got me there?
Man, all right, so go to CBS. Where do you do you know? Do this? I mean, dude, if if, if you guys don't want to have to you know, make this into a larger issue and you need emergency contraceptive freaking go walk to CBS, get Plan B, then walk to her house, discreetly meet her somewhere where her parents won't know, and get her the plan B.
All right, go now, all right, I will man, all.
Right, talk to you soon, Jose. I hope it all works out.
Thank you.
H I had more questions for him, but he's he is. He absolutely does not have time to be on my podcast right now. I because I can guarantee you that it will be the tedium that exists for you in the future if you do not take care of the situation, will far out way walking two hours to CVS. I'm not crazy, right, Well, like, does anyone know if I were in that situation, I'm walking to CVS, running to CVS.
I can't believe. I can't believe that. He was like, yeah, the window was running out and he decided to call me, and you know what, it was a good decision because he is he actually on his way to CBS right now. Hello.
Hey, is this GEK?
Yeah? Is this Stephen?
This is Stephen. How's it going, man?
Stephen? Uh? What's your life? Like?
Well, it's I guess you could say it suddenly got a little a little interesting. When I was, uh, I don't know, like fifteen, sixteen years old, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that made me lose all my hair. Right, So when I was like sixteen years old, I've been I've been completely Baldkin's man. And now I don't really know why. But now I'm growing hair back and I don't know, like I gotta shave my face now for the first time ever, and I don't really know how
to do that. And I got to like start like, I guess taking care of my hair stuff like that, and I'm not really sure, like I've never done it before, you know.
So you don't know how to have hairy.
Yeah, pretty much. I don't know how to deal with it.
When you were fourteen, thirteen, twelve, eleven, ten, did you have hair?
So, when I was in like I would say, like elementary to middle school, it start it starts coming out in like patches almost, but my hair was so thin and so short that there was really no like I couldn't really style it anyway, so kind of not really I had hair at that age, but not really.
Do you like having hair? Is this something you're excited about?
Well?
I see, and that's and that's where I don't know, because being bald has been such a part of my personality for a long time, right like almost ten years, you know what I'm saying. So it's like that was me for so long, and I don't know. I don't know if I want to I don't know if I want to go with that. No.
Interesting, So you got this disease, it caused you to lose all your hair, and right, being bald all of a sudden was something that you started to embrace.
Oh for sure, definitely definitely.
And are you considering just shaving off the hair that's growing back.
Yes and no, I don't know I would say I would say yes if you know, I feel like I want to keep you know, that look, but also at the same time, like this could be an opportunity for me to like be a little different than I have. Then, you know, m.
Do you feel as though your personality would change along with your look?
That's a great question. I would hope not, you know, like I don't think there would be Yeah, I guess, I guess I hope not, but maybe it would. Maybe maybe I would change my personality. I don't know.
You said your personality was tied to your baldness, and what exactly did you mean by that?
Well, you know, I mean growing up in you know, I mean I grew up in a big town, right, and a lot of people, and I was the only obviously the only kid that didn't have hair or was like losing hair stuff like that. Bald, kay, Right. But then I would do like I did a lot of theater in school, so like I would be on stage and I'd be like performing, and it would always be like, oh,
you know, that's that's ball Kate. He was on stage other night, and that kind of like I kind of just like adopted that, I guess, And I don't know, that's just so it's how it's been.
Interesting. So this thing that made you very different at a young age, for a lot of people, they would feel like that's a bad thing, but you're embracing it as of a sort of pride in being different.
Exactly, and and that that is why I'm I guess, I guess for a lack of a better word, having like an identity crisis, I guess because like that was you know, that was something that I didn't embrace, and now it's kind of like, oh my god, like that's changing now.
And so now that your hair is growing back, that thing that made you different is going away, and you're exactly trying to figure out how to maintain yourself.
Yeah, pretty much. And like I said, like at the same time, it could be an opportunity for me to change my life. I'm twenty three now, so well it's been a while, like I've been like this for a while, so like it could also be an opportunity to to change in appearance. But I don't know if that's necessarily something, like I said, I'm willing to give up.
Well, Steven, you fucked yourself a little bit, which is fine, which is understandable when you're when you're a teamer, it's understandable you fucked yourself a little bit. Any Time you define yourself as a person by one particular thing, especially like an aesthetic thing like this, you completely fuck yourself. I think you're understanding that now because you really want
to diversified life portfolio, whatever it is. And we've talked about this on here before and it's and it's a thing I do like thinking about, is how how we like to look at ourselves and define ourselves and whatnot. And if you pick any one thing your job, your significant other, the way that you dress, yourn, even things that are like you know, important, like your family, being kind,
anything like that. If you just pick one handful of things, or almost any handful of things to just veheomally define yourself by, you totally fuck yourself. Because you want to be elastic in that. You don't want to be defined. You don't want to be the bald guy. You're a complex, magnificent miracle of the universe. You can be infinite things at all times. I really do believe that. So you
buy well i'd glad. I'm glad that your hair is growing back and that the universe is telling you, Hey, Steven, quit fucking thinking of yourself as the bald guy and go out and be a person. Go find different other facets of your life. So let's get into that. I mean, what what else gives you purpose and meaning in your in your existence.
Yeah that's I couldn't probably have said it better. Yeah, I guess, Like, like I said, I was in theater in in school, like in high school and in college, I was in theater. And I guess like another thing that I would define myself by is like my my musical ability. You know, yeah, I play instruments, you know, that kind of thing. I definitely like have always been into music as a kid and like as an adult.
But yeah, I don't know. I think, you know, I think, obviously like the important pillars of life, like family and friends and that kind of stuff, that those all give me purpose. But I do feel like that I may put a little too much importance on my relationship with people, you know, and like I kind of think, oh well, if my relationship is good with them, that means that I'm doing something good. And like I'm good, a good person.
Like my relationship is bad. It's like, oh my god, Like, what have I done to make this relationship so bad?
You know, right, right, And I think that there's legitimacy to that. But you you want to have a diversified life portfolio. So that way, when you you know, wake up one day and your friend is mad at you for whatever reason, you know, you can go into your little music studio thing and play the flute and go, okay, well,
at least I have the flute. And then when you and then on another day, when you and your friend go get ice cream and have a great time, and then afterwards you go to play your flute and you suck at the flute, you can go, well, I sucked at the flute today, but at least I had a good time hanging out with my friends. You know. So you want to derive enjoyment and meaning and purpose from
a variety of different things. If you don't do that, you just totally fuck yourself and let yourself get thrown around by the whim of of you know, whatever is going right or wrong with the thing you've decided to define yourself by. I've learned this a bunch of times in my own life.
Man, M Yeah, I mean that's definitely all true, Like that's something all valid. Yeah, I guess I guess maybe maybe I should, uh, I don't pick up a new hobby or something. I guess, like, what shall you do?
Yeah, you should pick up a new hobby. What do you like to do? I mean, you like to see your music? Guy, you like to act? Why don't you go make fucking tiktoks of you lip syncing to a thing? Although there was that one guy. Here's that one guy who just did that and he got made fun of a lot on the internet, and so that might happen to you as well.
But there's no such thing as a bad press, right.
No, well that's not true either. But Steven, I think you're more than just your hair, and I think it's it's silly of you to define yourself by that when you are clearly uh, you know, any amount of infinite things that you could desire to be.
Definitely, yeah, yeah, that's that's very true. And I don't think I've thought about it like that until quite recently. But yeah, I definitely, like I started like I have a TikTok count obviously, and like I started trying to make more content, and like that's been really enjoyable, even even if it doesn't the videos don't do well, Like I still like making that content, you know, like it's just fun to do. So maybe that's by the way.
By the way, Steven, I, I don't know if we talked about this already. I think we did, but I just want to hammer it in. If you don't like having hair and you like being bald, you can just you can just shave off your hair.
Oh for sure, definitely, definitely, yeah, And that's definitely been like a like a real possibility for me, like probably more than likely I'll do that. But you know, I just kind of as I've been thinking about it and as it's been growing, and then the thing about it is that it's not just on my head, It's like everywhere in my body, right, So I'm growing hair on.
A little TIMI Steven, geez, we can talk about we can talk about pubes on here. Okay, so you're getting pubes. How are you feeling about the pubes?
Yeah, I'm not really worried.
I have an incredibly hairy both ass cheeks and asshole And how does that serve me it. I don't know. It makes like, you know, if a person's ever down there, I feel like they're judging me a little bit. But that's fine. I don't care. I think it causes a
lot of itching and whatnot. But let me tell you something, Steven, even though I have an itchy asshole, you know, even though I have a hairy asshole, I don't define myself by my hairy asshole because I believe I am much more than that, and I believe you are more than your bald head as well. Stephen, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the compute it before we go.
I'm I'm a big fan of been watching for a while now, and I'm just happy I got on.
So thank you, Thank you brother, Thank you for sharing, man, and good luck to you as you build your life portfolio.
Thanks man, you too.
Take care, Steven, take care. I mean, it's really bad down there, and I've tried shaving my I've tried shaving it too, but I don't do that anymore because the last time I did that, like the shaved hairs would like because we never hear ass, so at least all the hairs are connected. To the body so they don't depart from the skin and enter into the anus. But
when you shave it, you you won't. You don't get all the hair out unless if you do a really thorough cleaning, and then the hair is start to go inside of the anus, and then it just becomes a friggin mess of itchiness. And that I probably shared a little bit too much there, but that's okay. I am
comfortable with who I am and with my asshole. To add a little more to that too, I have had several times in my life where the thing that I was defining myself by went away and then I was left with nothing, and I learned not to do that anymore like I used to. I used to. I did stand up comedy before I was doing this podcast, and I did that for like six years before realizing I
hated it. But when I realized I hated it, I was fucked because all of my friends were from stand up and all of my identity was about trying to be a stand up comic and doing all that stuff, and it really kind of screwed me for a little bit. Is I was like, well, what do I do now that you know I don't have this in my life. And then I got this job sort of right after I graduated college, and I didn't know if I was going to be able to stay in that job, but I really liked that job, and I was kind of
defining myself by that job. And then the job ended, and I was like, well, fuck, what this thing ends? What am I gonna do? Because this thing was a big force in my life and now I have this thing, and I've kind of experienced enough of defining myself by a thing and getting super absorbed and obsessed with it, and then it leaving and then me getting fucked that I've decided, well, okay, I really do enjoy and to get a lot of identity and pleasure and fulfillment and
purpose out of being a gecko on the computer. But I can't. I can't let it run my life. I can't wake up in the morning and if people are listening to my podcast or you know, if my TikTok videos are doing well or whatever, I can't let that make me feel too good. And if they're not, I can't let that make me feel too bad because I want to be in control of how I feel, and I don't want any external factors to fuck around with me, which is easier said than done. I'm still on that
journey for sure. Okay, I'm not saying all this stuff from atop the mountain of completion. I'm in the trenches. But that's just how I think about these things.
I think it goes on the line. Taking your phone calls every night, never be kept, cost his hide. You just teaching you chouses of your life. But he's not really an expert.