Hey, folks, it's Lyle get this. I'm coming to over forty cities across the United States, the UK, Europe and Australia to do this here Therapy Gecko Podcast Live. These shows will involve bringing folks from the audience up on stage to talk to a gecko about whatever they want, just like we do on the podcast. The shows are completely unplanned, completely unpredictable, and they will be a lot of fun. So if you're a fan of the podcast,
you should definitely come out. Tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour dot com and you should get them before they are sold out. That's therapy geckotour dot Com will put the link in the episode description as well. The live shows are are very fun, they're very geko wee, and I hope to see you there.
All right, let's get into the episode.
Hello, Hi, how you doing today?
I'm doing good? How are you?
You know?
Not too bad? Not too bad?
What's your name? Pal?
Oh?
Madame is Tony?
How you doing, Tony? I'm doing good? How you doing?
Oh? You know, like I said, not too bad, just kind of hanging in there.
Okay, Well, well listen man, uh we can I don't know if you know how any of this stuff works, but if we can, we what do you want? Is there anything in particular you want to talk about today?
Oh?
Yeah, you know. Well actually I have seen a few of your streams. You really do sound different over the phone as opposed to the stream.
Yeah.
Well I kind of called me up gone for a second.
I I well, everyone kind of sounds the same over the phone, so I guess that could be why. But well, but anyway, man, I mean, what is it that you wanted to talk about?
Uh?
Yeah, So I've been like, uh, like struggling in my like uh love life, you know, said ruality, that kind of that kind of DeLeo.
Sure.
How so, so I've always been like straight, I've always considered myself straight, I suppose. And you know, I was on uh what you call it hinge and I don't know, I ended up matching with somebody and it turns out that they were a trans woman, right m hm. And you know we got to talking and I did see it on a profile like afterwards, and I was like, oh, you know that's cool, that's fine. I don't know what
it was, but I just kept talking to her. We ended up going out beat, and I found it really interesting, you know, went on a couple of dates, and I don't know, I just, uh, it's different. It is not for me, okay, and uh, you know, I don't know if it is. I don't want say it's like scary or anything like that, but it's different for me.
Okay.
So I guess tell me more about the the kind of like you know, are you are you afraid of something?
Are you? Well, how would you describe your struggle with this?
Uh, there is a little bit of like m I guess there's some sort of a stigma to it. You know. I grew up, Yeah, I grew up Catholic, kind of became Christian over all, like over later there was people in my family who were like homophobic, and I kind of grew up with that mindset for a while. Sure,
I'm twenty six right now. When I was in high school, though, when I got whatever high school ages, I got to a point where I was like because I'd gone to a new church and there was like so loving and accepting, and I was like, oh, okay, this is great. And then like I would see like certain certain things and I feel like disgusted almost and then I was like, wait a second, hold a pause, this doesn't core Like why why would like like it's supposed to be like
a loving message. Why would I feel this kind of way, you know, like gross about it. So I kind of like try to change my tune over time, which I did. It took some time, but like I ended up like like I like, I have family, I have friends, you know in the LGBT community, So like I was able to overcome that and I just kind of like ignored everything else over time. I did end up like trying to experiment with the man before I didn't really like it.
It wasn't for me. And then I don't know, I just I messed with this person, I went out with them, and I don't know, I don't know. I'm just I feel like if the answer should be obvious, but like I keep like running in circles in my head.
Oh okay, so tell me when you say you feel like the answer should be obvious?
What what is? What is? What is the answer that you feel should be obvious?
Don't worry about it? Yeah, okay, yeah, it doesn't matter right right, Like I know, like like my siblings, my my cousins, my like even my best friend. Like I know, I know, like if they were the meter, like, everything would be like all good and great, you know, yeah, my parents, like I feel like my parents, though I don't know how well that would go about if I ever like introduced her to them.
Sure m hm. So you kind of know in your heart that you know.
There's there's there's nothing, there's nothing wrong with your being attracted to who you're attracted to, but because of how you grew up and because of the people around you, you're having some some dissonance with it.
Is that accurate?
Yeah, I say so, okay, hmmm, So.
Your what's your relationship like with your parents?
It's good for the most part. I got loved him, obviously. I do find my mom kind of annoying, which is a terrible thing to say. My dad, I don't know, because I caught him cheating and I didn't talk to him about it. I kind of like, uh, it was kind of like a scene that I caught on my phone and I just kind of brought it to my mom right away. And this was like six seven years ago.
So they have him in together since then. So he tries to act friendly with me, but I don't know if he still resents me or something for.
That sure, So man, listen, I think I mean this is a this is a tough thing, like kind of freeing yourself from the judgment of your parents. But I feel like it's so necessary, right because you you should be able to feel free to, you know, sexually and romantically engage with whoever it is that you want without having to run it by your parents at the at
the age of twenty six, you know. And I don't even think I don't even think you have to you have to be like, well, fuck you mom, fuck you dad, you know, from that kind of place, I think you can just be like listen, I love you guys, but you can't. You have no say in what I do with my own life.
Well beyond beyond how they would feel from it, because like, yeah, you know, honestly, like they haven't like certain partner that's had in the past, Like it's like that part is kind of like whatever, Like it is a factor, but like I'm not like even like sexually right in the bedroom, Like that's not like the first time that like, you know, we slept together. Like that was very uh, it was
kind of jarring in a way. I don't know. It was almost as if like I kind of turned my brain off and just kind of what went with the flow, almost like like the person as a person, you know, intellectually or even like emotionally like I'm I'm, I'm there, but like when it comes to the physical aspect, it like, uh, it's different, not what I'm used to. But like I I don't know you.
You you shut your you say you say you shut your brain down.
Yeah, almost like that's you know, the first time I saw them, like like we were like naked together, right like I'm sorry, I got I know, Like I'm not saying anything super crazy here, but like yeah, in that moment, it was kind of like, oh, you know, it's you know what we're walking with down there, you know, it's it's different from what I'm like actually like normally attracted.
All right, I'm picking up what you're putting down for sure. Okay, So I mean look, let me ask you because I mean, m hm, so you you are not sexually attracted to a certain set of genitals.
That's fair. That's a fair way to put it.
Yeah, okay, so let me ask you this then, how big of a deal is sex to you in a relationship.
Is it important?
It is?
But it is not like, no, it's not my number one goal, all right, It's like it's a thing that people do, of course, yeah, And I'm not I'm like, that's not something I'm separated from, you know. I'm more of like passionate, romantic, kind of like sensual person as opposed to.
Like, oh I can.
I can tell I hear it in your voice, Tony very passionate. Well, well, listen, Matt, I mean this is the The thing is is that you can't force yourself
to be sexually compatible with someone. And I think when when you get to this point where everything with this person lines up except you, guys aren't sexually compatible, then you almost have to weigh how important that is to you because you don't want to end up resenting that you know, and everyone everyone can make their own decision as to how important.
That is to you.
Right mhm, I mean that doesn't make sense, that's at all.
Hmmm.
Are you what's what's kind of your your the status with this person?
Are you guys dating? Is there a uh? Is there a label on it? How long have you been seeing each other?
I've been seeing it like our second date was actually New Year's there's not an official label work, like you know, like we're dating quote unquote, but we're not like like an official couple or anything like that. I mean, I'm not talking to anybody else, she says, she's not talking anybody else. I do believe us in that regard, but that's that's where it is at the moment.
Apparently you told the call screen or you said that you're debating experimenting with her penis.
Yeah, okay, okay, So, like I mentioned, that's not something that like I'm attracted to do. That's not something that like I'm familiar with, but I do genuinely have feelings for this person. Yeah, and you know, we we have slept together and it's mostly like uh, I mean it's just the basic you know, by the being got a bomb, you know, and uh, I do want to like I want to make sure that you know, she has like enjoyment, you know, like I actually like legitimately care that, like
you know whatever. Yeah, So, like.
I I was thinking to myself, like I would I would be I guess willing to like you know, do something I wouldn't actually normally.
Do in general, for this person.
Okay, how so lam asks have you experience?
Have you?
Uh so you're open to experimenting to.
To uh you know sexual acts involve the penis.
You and you have. How how much have you experimented already so far?
Oh?
Man?
I mean if there's no filter here, I mean I was I was hanging out with like actually somebody who I loosely work with. It was a drunk moment. We were all we were in a bunch of people went out, we were partying. We had a hotel room. Uh, nobody brought in any woman, right, like you know, as all dudes we went out like the goal was, you know, go get some women. Nobody got women? Yeah. Uh. Me and this dude were awake. Uh you know there was
kissing involves. He was like, you know, touching me and everything, and I I couldn't bring myself to do more than that. But like I definitely didn't like really enjoy that truthfully. Okay, that's really it?
Well, Tony, Look, I think I think it is.
It's I don't know, this is such a this is a tough issue, right because I mean, look, the the whole like you know, forget about the the the kind of underlying aspects of this, like just the idea of being romantically and intellectually attracted to somebody but not being sexually compatible with them is a.
Tough one, right, And I don't know. Again, I would consider how important that is to you.
And also, like you said, you want her to feel pleasure as well.
And you should.
You should consider the idea that part of her sexual pleasure would probably involve a partner who.
Is very sexually excited about them.
And if that's not you, and that yeah, and you and you know that you can't force that to be you, then you almost do her a disservice by continuing to to kind of will yourself through sleeping with her, if that makes sense.
No, yeah, I see what you're saying.
Uh.
But to all the other points that you were talking about, I I do hope that you're able to Um, I'm I'm glad that you're you're you're kind of abandoning all the programming that you grew up with that is like acting as a barrier between you and these new experiences. That sounded like it was it might have been a tough thing to do.
Oh absolutely, m hm, Tony, What do you do.
For a living. I'm very curious about you as a person.
Uh, I'm in the military. I'm about to get out.
Actually, oh yeah, what are you gonna do when you're.
I don't know, if pick out the family business, probably I want to go back. I went to like, this is gonna sound so stupid. I went to school at first. I went to college for like three years. Joined the military because I was just I was not in a good place in life. I was studying criminal justice, a little bit of psychology, a little bit of corolinary arts. You know, I love cooking. Family has a restaurant, and I could see myself picking it up, you know, taking
over from my dad, you know, running with it. I mean, to be honest, I feel like that's the too easy option. You know, it's just, oh yeah, take up some established business and just run with it, which I believe I will enjoy it. But you know, it's not like there there there is a desire to do something like on my own as opposed to just you know, picking up something already established.
What do you want to do on your own, Tony.
That's a very good question. That's a very good question. I mean, I do I do like cooking. You know, if if I were to do it on my own.
I was gonna say, I was really hoping you were gonna want to open a restaurant called Tony's.
Hey, you know, fat Tonys or something like that.
I'd be kind of funny if any inkling of a desire to open up a restaurant called Tony's.
I want to be the guy that convinces you to do it.
I mean, you know, I I cooking a pizza. You know what I'm saying.
The pizza. You definitely cooking the pizza.
Uh.
You said you like, what do you cook? Tony?
I do mostly cook pastas. I make a lot of sauces. I've dabbled in like Italian Mexican. I'm not you know, Italian Mexican fusion. I feel like it works really well, to be honest, I mean, you know.
What happens in Mexican What what?
What?
What is an Italian Mexican fusion dish?
You can take any sauce right, any pasta dish. You know, you just add a couple of things in there, you know. I mean, if you want to be the most basic halopenios, right, I've made this weird uh lasagna with like well there's more. It's less Mexican, but like with like plantains, right as opposed to like pasta noodles or whatever, the lasagna noodle, whatever it's called. That ship is a banger. You could
mix a regueo with the lonstro vice versa. You know, just throw in a little bit of those ingredients in there, you know, substitute for toiso or or whatever, and it just all kind of brings itself together.
All right, hear me out on this chicken parmesan tacos.
I've made those.
You have, I've made those?
What are they like?
You know, I feel like the idea of it worked a little bit better than the I mean maybe maybe I got I gotta like try it again. You know, I feel like I can make it work. You know, when people get chicken tomasan, you know, it's not like it's a piece of chicken that you cut up yourself. It's not already pretty cut, it's not shredded.
You know.
You you the name of it, the idea of it, it's like a dream. You know, there's a way to make it work. Being in you know, I've been four years in the military. I you know, I don't have a kitchen right now, so like it's mostly like I'm fucking around, you know, cooking or like if there's a barbecue something going on. But once I go home, that's when I'm going to be able to actually cook and experiment and do things again. I signed my life away
for a full years. Anybody out there, just real quick, if you're thinking about doing the military, don't do it. And if you do do it, don't join don't join the Navy for the Marine Corps.
That's a funny, kase.
I've talked.
I've said this a bunch of times on the podcast, but I've talked to people who've joined the military and it's been like the best decision they ever made. And then I talked to people where it's the opposite. You know, they hated it. One last thing. Okay, meat sauce, nachos.
Easiest thing in the world. It's a anger out of ten flas stars.
Tony, I really, Tony. I want to see the universe for you so badly. Where you open up your where you just you defy your parents' wishes.
You you you.
Open your own Mexican Italian fusion restaurant, you date whoever you want. I such a beautiful, beautiful life awaits you. Should you make your own decisions.
I do see it.
Check it out.
Guido Beans, what is it? Guido bes Gueto bees?
Don't Guido beans like Guido is like an Italian Guido Wiedo is an Italian name or whatever? The and then beings because beaners, you know what I mean? You know what I mean?
I don't know absolutely.
I am all right.
I'll take your word for.
It, Tony, Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I'man just to reiterate, if you're going to join the military, the Navy and the Marine Corps don't do it.
Good to know.
I did watch after this they're going to make me read a fucking ad for the US military or something like that.
I swear to God, I wouldn't doubt it.
All right, take care, Tony, Hey, you as well appreciate it.
All right.
I'm trying to think of one more veal burrito. Guido Beans, I'm there, Hi there.
Hello, Hi?
Who is this?
My name is Daisy Joe.
Hi, Daisy Joe. How are you?
Is this wild?
Yep?
Why do you sound so?
I don't know how to answer that question. Really, I don't. If I had an answer for you, I would tell you.
But I don't have an answer.
I'm so sorry. I just said, you're like my mom.
What's your your Daisy Joe, what's going on, Daisy Joe? How's life?
Life?
It exists?
We're here.
You know.
I have a story to tell you.
Okay, you have a story to tell me. What's the story?
So, but I was like like eighteen or nineteen, I was dropping out of college and that was like a huge deal with like my family because they like forced me to like go live with this southern family. So I was like making everybody mad in the world. So I think this is like a really big deal, like crazy big thing in my life. It's really not.
Okay, So you were you were your parents were kind of forcing you to drop out.
It wasn't really your decision.
No, they forced me to go to school. I me dropping out was like a whoa coat thing?
You know, what is a woe kind of thing?
Yeah, it was pretty low like a right, Okay, So I feel like I'm liking the hardest part of my life. Right. It's not. But I think that because I'm eighteen and I'm driving on like the longest highway like in the world, right, and this man jumps in front of my car and I thought it was a deer, and I'm like, what the fuck? And it's like three am. So I stopped and I turn around, and I first I start tussing him out, and then I realized he's crying and he has mud up to his chest. He only has shorts on,
like cargo shorts on with bales wine. He's like pulling his pants up and he starts crying about how his wife left him because he's addicted to porn and he cheated on his wife with porns. And I'm like super freaked out. So I like throw him some water and some chips, and he wants me to give him a ride, but I'm like no, because I'm an eighteen year old girl and you're an old naked man. So I let him right on top of the car.
Okay, hold on, I'm sorry. Okay, I give one saying you thought you hit a deer and it turned out you hit a naked man, and so yet hit him.
I came really really close.
Okay, so you thought you hit him, so you pulled over to go talk to him.
Yeah, I was gonna cuts him out, but then I start filing bad form.
Okay, and you let him ride so so so you almost hit this guy, and then you stopped and went to get out of your car just to yell at this guy for being in the middle of the street.
And then you see that he's fully like.
All right, now, yeah, shorts on, they're just hanging off his body. He's got nothing, but like.
All right, all right, all right, So then you let him ride on the top of your car.
Yeah, Because I haven't watched enough true crime ship yet, I guess. Okay, it doesn't just wild doesn't stop there. I sang hymnals to him too.
What is the climax of this story? How does this end?
So I dropped him off at this gas station in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas, and I'm like, you need to stay here because somebody in the morning, like you can go to like a police station. Maybe you could, you know, find some humanitarian resources, a shelter, your wife.
I don't know.
So I'm driving off and there's a semi coming and as I'm driving away, he's like crying on the steps and then I see him stand up as the semis coming and he runs out in front of it, and like I didn't actually see him go splat, but I heard the like agonizing scream, and then I saw the semi coming, and then I floored it. I was going like one hundred and twenty because I didn't want to see it happen. I was just like, you know, I know what too plus two is.
You know, dude, what wait, okay, that's all right.
So so you dropped this guy off at a gas station. He's a complete stranger, he's crying, he's basically naked, and then you drop him off and you're like, look, man, I you know, I I don't know you. I can't really help you that further, but like stay here and you know, wait until the morning you can find someone to help you.
And then you drive away. And then you as.
You're driving away, you see him run and jump in front of a semi truck and get hit.
Yeah. Well, I looked at that very last second it could have been like super traumatizing, but it wasn't. I was looking at the road and I was flooring it.
So okay, it was too disgusting, right.
Thing, How what do you what do you make of this situation? Here, How did this affect you in any way or what? What do you what's your observation here?
I do too dam much with people. I do too damn much. That's how I get all much rumble. I just do too damn much for people that Okay, I don't even I don't know I need to be doing that, you know?
Okay?
What do you him on the size of round?
Sure?
Yeah?
Yeah? Sure? What do you?
Why do you feel like you what makes you feel like you do too much for people?
Because that could have gone like so bad. He could have killed me, bro, he could have actually murdered me mm hmm, but he didn't. He did like he did, he murdered himself. He did the best case scenario almost.
I don't know if it's the best case scenario, but it is what happened.
If somebody was gonna die, the best case scenario.
Okay, So how old are you now?
Huh?
I said? How old? Yeah? All right?
So this happened four years ago? Yeah, all right, and you felt as though the lesson you learned from it was that you do too damn much for people. That's right, and contemporarily, yes, put on yours before you help others, and you know, there's.
A lot in that philosophy.
So today, you know, this having happened four years ago, do you still feel as though you do too much for people?
No? Okay, I think I stopped doing that. Okay, I think I do other stupid shit now, but I don't do that.
Okay. What made you want to stop doing too much for people?
Because instead of like, like it's just it's honestly, I don't know why, maybe kind of think like it's really not that rewarding because like I was the last person that was ever kind to this man, you know, like I sang to him, I gave him a ride, I gave him potato chips and waters, and then none of that mattered, you know, he still jumped in front of a fucking truck. Like, it doesn't feel that good to just be doing shit for people when you don't have your own ship figured it out, you know.
Hmmm, It's an interesting way to think about it. So yeah, okay, So you were telling me that at that time, you were having to drop out of school even though you wanted to go to school, and you didn't feel as though you had your your life together.
Correct.
Yeah, Oh yeah, straight, out of high school.
So all right, and so you helped out this guy by letting him ride on top of your car and singing him lullabies and getting him to a place where he could at least get some some you know, somewhere somewhere better than the middle of the street.
Well yeah, and it's like an southern Arkansas too, so it was like field.
Okay.
So so, so stick with you for a second. And you now feel as though you need to work on figuring out your own life before you help other people. Yeah, okay, So do you feel like you have yourself? And look, nobody ever has themselves fully together? But do you feel as though you're personally at a better place now than you were then?
Oh my god? Yeah, oh my god.
Yeah yeah okay, And do you feel as though you have any desire to help people, like, let's say, let's say that's something like that happened to you, now, would you not have helped that guy?
If that happened now.
I probably honestly would have called the police station, And that's what would have been me helping, or like something like that, you know, sure, or if there's like a shelter nearby or something some kind of something not.
Me, Okay, you know, I'm like, I mean, I get it.
I understand. You know.
Look, you're an eighteen year old girl and this guy's, you know, a random guy on the side of the road. I understand your your apprehensions in.
This, Like I pretend that I don't. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know to what degree you're obligated to to help other people, especially if you feel as though you might be at risk. Yeah, you know, I'll do the best you can, right, How do you feel like you're gonna approach.
The world's moving forward?
Do you do you feel a desire to help people or do you sort of feel like it's better for you to just completely focus on yourself.
I feel like there's ways you can help people without like getting balls deep in it, you know.
Sure, Like.
I don't know, Like I don't pick up I used to pick up people, like like even before that, I like got somebody with me like a knife or something. I like pick people up on the side of the road all the time, like whatever. Like that's so which that's like such an obvious it's like a landed ass example.
But like.
I don't know, like I would I do like helping people like I I wanna after the season of my job and I'm gonna go to nursing school. That's a good, healthy way.
To help people, I think. I think.
So that's a that's a bit more of a controlled environment for helping people than the side of the road in Arkansas.
True, you are correct.
Mm hmmm mm hmm.
Well, I'm glad that you have a sort of future plan for you to, uh, you know, help other people in a more control of the way. You bring up an interesting, an interesting kind of moral delima that I'll have to think about. Uh, Daisy, there's anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Don't pick up naked ass dudes on the side road and put your own mask on before you try to help other people, or you'll die or something. Or you might not die, you might see somebody else die, and that's weird.
Thanks for calling, Daisy Joe.
You're welcome anytime.
Hi.
Bye. I just have to say the call screener wrote down for her. H Daisy Joe has a story about seeing a guy commit suicide. Says it's funny and light. I guess that was I don't know.
I don't know. Yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know. I like, I get it.
I'm not gonna say I don't get it. I'm not gonna say I don't get it. There there is you. When you pick up a naked man from the street, you're running, you're running into you're you're not you're there's some risk there. Undeniably, you can't deny that risk. But is it worth the risk to help another person?
I don't know.
I don't have an opinion on that, but we'll we'll, we'll see what happens to me next time I'm put in a situation like that. Hi, Hello, how are you.
Man?
I'm good lyle how are you?
I'm hanging in there.
I'm trying to be conscious of the fact that it I exist on the earth right now.
That's beautiful.
I'm working on the same thing, and mostly it's from listening to your show and trying to be more open and honest about my feelings and my situation with myself and the people around me. It's huge for me to start that.
That's a lot, that's that's spiritual.
I would agree. I mean, it's been a I've been listening to your show for like, I don't know, probably two years or so now, and you know, I don't I hadn't really done much podcast listening before that, and now I listen to multiple podcasts like THEO Vonn's Weekend is Great and some other ones that I really enjoy, but yours really helped with that personal you know, people really open up on this show, you know, and it's helped me open up to myself and to my family
and to my co workers about things that before I would just not communicate about.
That's so fascinating to me, man, because I was thinking about this the other day.
I I really.
You know, when I started my whole adventure on the internet, you know, I wanted to be a comedian and I did that for a long time, and I wanted to make things that were just like expressly funny. And now I've like accidentally created fucking Gecko Oprah for better or worse, And I don't know, I guess I'm I'm glad to hear that it's helped you out in what seems to be a pretty profound way.
What it has helped.
It's also been negative because it's helped It's brought out a lot of like you know, when you're open and honest with yourself. That can be you know, very intense and very dark at times. To just like take your situation as it is and try and be objective and you know, really tell yourself what's going on. Yes, I've been struggling with that too, but it's good and bad because then you can try and rise above and grow from the things that are possible to grow from.
Man, you should be the therapy gecko.
Oh man, Man, I love your show. I love all the guests you bring on, and you know, I definitely would love to like do something like like that, but I'm so busy.
Listen, listen enough about enough about me. I want to I want to know about you, Jordan. You're telling me a whole bunch of stuff out here, all right. So, well, I don't even know where to start. Give me a minute.
So you.
Said you had to. You said you faced yourself and that was negative. How is it negative?
Uh?
Well, I'm about to turn thirty, and you know, there are certain aspects of my life that I thought I would either have a not accomplished but kind of have a roadmap to success for by the time I was thirty. That some of those things I haven't even started. And some things, you know, I'm you know, I'm working hard and doing my thing, but you know, talking about like retirement and trying to build like a network of different means of income because one single income really just does
not fucking do it anymore. So you have to try and increase, you know, not just your one revenue stream and.
Get a raise.
But you need a side hustle. Everybody needs a fucking side hustle these days to survive.
So you're you're facing yourself and you're looking at your situation and you feel as though as though, what, like you haven't accomplished to things you hope you would accomplish by now, or you haven't set yourself up for success in the way you hope you would.
Yeah, not that not accomplishments. It's more of like setting myself up for success. Like, you know, there's certain situations that I deal with on a day to day basis that you know, I feel like I shouldn't have to.
Not that I'm better than or that you know, we just you know, I just I put in, you know, into my career a lot, and I make really good food and I make I make good money, but things are just so much more expensive and harder to attain in this day and age, you know, than they were even just a couple of years ago, so that I haven't gotten raises you know, in in you know, going with the the rise of cost of living, so it's just difficult just to hang on to the same exact standard of living, you know.
Yes, yes, the economy this is bad.
That's my only that's my only announce That's the my complete and utter analysis of the economy, because I have no idea how the world works. But yes, no, it is fucked and things are getting a lot more expensive.
And smarter people than us can tell us why we can just say economy bad?
Yeah, sure, for sure. All right, So.
I mean tell me, you're it sounds like you're in this very lifey, spiritually space and you know you've been struggling with things not being as sufficient as you thought they were. What are some of the positives that you've been.
I have a beautiful family, and you know, I have grown so much over the past few years in my skill sets, and you know, I'm a chef and I've learned so many different techniques over the past few years, and I really have grown in the regional cuisines that I know and the different ingredients that I know off
the top of my head. You know, I'm able to put different dishes together based on different ingredients I've already tasted, and I can do that in my mind as opposed to not knowing how you know different things taste and kind of having like question marks, if that makes sense, you can kind of put the pieces together because you have more of a palette and it you know, it's that's been a huge ride for me over the past few years, just that accumulation of knowledge what kinds of
things are good and bad?
You do you work at like a like a restaurant of some kind or a food.
Truck or Yeah, I run two different restaurants. I wish I ran a lemonade stand. Un run two different restaurant kitchens, one of them pretty laid back, but one of them pretty busy. Uh, it's it's just managing people. Yeah, Basically, kitchen workers are hard workers and you know, it's the backbone of society. But they don't make that much money. So like I people that I can't pay that high of a wage, so I lose quality people constantly to
new opportunities. So it's just a revolving door of people that you train and leave, and train and leave, and it's just how it is, though you get used to it. It's crazy.
You said you wanted to tell you said specifically on this thing that you wanted to talk about what you deal with on a day to day basis. Was there anything in particular that you had in mind.
Yeah, definitely. You know, if you go out to a restaurant, and you know, I'm not trying to be disrespectful to anybody, but if you're at a restaurant and you're frustrated with the staff, keep it to yourself. You know, we're already doing the best that we can. Generally, not everyone is, but most of us are doing the best that we can, and we have minimal labor that we're allowed to use. You know, you're like, oh, well, why aren't there enough people we'll here? Well, it's because my boss said, I
can only have this much labor on my clock. Ever, I'm sorry, you know, you can't. Don't get mad at me, please, you know, my my boss just tell me what to do and we all do the best that we can. And if you want to eat food, that you didn't cook. You got to wait and you have to be humble, or you've got to go home and cook your own food. You know.
Sorry, Yeah, yeah, that's uh, I don't know.
That's just a mess. That's it's getting getting food.
I will say, the way that we get food nowadays is always at least faster than how we got food before. We had to actually kill chickens ourselves and extrapolate their their organs and uh, you know, pray to God to smite them with thunder to cook it. And now you just kind of yell at a guy and he brings you macerella sticks. So I think that this system we have right now, you know, even though some people think it's insufficient, I think it's pretty better than what we
had before, even though the economy. Actually, I'm gonna I was gonna say, even though the economy is worse now than it was then. I don't know anything about history or the universe, but it's probably better than it was back when we were hunting things.
There wasn't even money a.
Man. Other than that, I would like to tell you know a story about a dishwasher that I had.
Oh, sure, I go.
Light on.
I worked downtown. I had a really cool dishwasher and he was most definitely a crackhead, but he was a great guy. He just happened to smoke crack and come to work basically every day. But he would come to work every day in a three piece suit, uh you know, dress pants, button up shirt and a tie sometimes the best. And he would wash dishes in this super busy downtown
restaurant and crush it every day. And he was amazing other than the fact that he would leave and do some drugs and then come back to work, but he would do this art. And last time I saw him, he was downtown and he saw he was selling his art on the street and he was making money and freedom. If you're out there, keep doing your thing.
Wow, it sounds like crack is the best thing that ever happened to that guy and empowered him to do all these things.
I sure hope. So I hope he keeps going on, maybe not doing the crack, but hopefully doing his art.
Look, here's the thing. It's probably not the suit.
Probably it's probably not the crack that gets him through the day, but.
It's the one variable I can think of.
Would we all got to have something, man, I wouldn't. I'm born and raised in Memphis. I've seen the spiral of the drug epidemic personally. I went to public school, man, people started doing cracking, like fucking middle school, dude. I had a pregnant girl in my sixth grade class, Like this is you know, this is real life. You know, crack is terrible. Don't do crack, don't do heroin love your friends, tell them to stop if they're doing crazy shit.
I hope that that's on the menu of your restaurant, you know how they have like the about section.
You should put that on that which part.
Don't do crack?
I already forgot it. Don't do crack. That's good.
We'll listen to it maybe later.
Love you all.
Thanks Jordan, take Caren.
But I really do appreciate you. Thank you so much for everything to man. Keep doing it as long as it fulfills you.
By I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. Thank you, Jordan. I appreciate you.
Man.
Well, I mean, I don't know. I had a friend who smoked crack once and he said it was pretty good, So you know, take that for whatever you will.
Hello, Hello, how are you.
Good?
How are you doing.
I'm doing Okay, I'm a gecko on the computer. How's life going.
It's uh, it's teetering right now, my friend teetering.
Why Why is it petering?
Well, just uh, it just feels like my world kind of crushing around me, simply because I'm in a dilemma where I run the family business and my pops is getting old and he's getting ready to retire and he's leaning towards our not leaning towards, but he's planning on giving this to me, and I'm just not feeling it, not anymore. Have done that for too long, and the only problem with me leaving is that if I leave, the door is closed, and eventually I school over my bent.
So I don't know what to do.
Okay, So you're telling me that your father has this repair shop. He is retiring and either you take over the business or the business closes.
Essentially, I'm going.
To give you my opinion immediately.
It sounds like this is totally his problem, dude, This is not your problem at all. Uh, this is your dad's business. This is this is your dad's Let mean, I'll hear you out.
What are we gonna say?
We like?
So the only problem is is that I'm gonna be leaving this to go do 'otentially the same thing, but I'm just gonna get paid more.
Okay.
That's that's my main like my main guilt, I guess, because like some of these thoughts, they're literally you can, like less than a mile away from here. I would physically pass by this location, you know, and I don't know. It's kind of tough to I don't know, to.
Think about, Kevin.
You're your own person, okay, you don't. You don't owe anything to your dad. Your dad's business is his responsibility. So you know, you have your own life and you make your own decisions that are the best for you, not just you know, to to service your parents. Uh tell me about your dad's reaction to all this?
What is he doing? Is he pressuring you any any which way?
Well, so, like essentially, like you know, it's been I don't working here since you know, I was essentially nine years old, you know, just helping around or whatever. So it's always been the idea. He's always put it into my mind that this was going to be mine. The only problem is now that I see once I get older and stuff is like his business mentality, this isn't there.
So when I see that, you know, and I see like other shops in the same field, you know, doing these crazy things and advancing and everything, and I feel like we're constant. I told him that, and he kind of blew up at me, because, like I said, it's a it's a horrible reality. But the reality is is that if I leave, that's it. So he kind of blew up at me and essentially kind of tried guilt
to me into it by telling me that. But I'm I mean the way he treats me, in the way kind of how it goes, you know, just I could be working a lot less and getting paid at least a little bit more or a lot more, depending on what.
Specifically or where I specifically choose to build.
Okay, so you told your father that, I'm sorry, did you say that your dad has business practices that you don't like.
I'm not business practices he just doesn't have. He I mean, like, he's a smart man. This is his first business that he's had. It's just that I feel like he's gotten to the point where he got bored of the business and he's no longer trying to put more money into it. It's just whatever comes out of it comes out of it.
And that's it.
Which in my mind, you know, you have to put money in. You have to spend money to make money. You can't just be out of constant.
Just like anything else.
You have to put the effort in to get something out.
Okay, Well, I mean Kevin, what I said. You know, it's still stands firm. Your dad not having a plan for you know, his business opening or failing.
I mean, that's that's his problem.
You know.
It says you're twenty one years old, you're an adult, You're your own person. You can still love your father, you could still have a great relationship with your father, but your father can't dictate what you do with your life and the decisions that.
You make you and you can't let them.
Do that at this point, right.
I mean, like that's what I've been thinking too. And you know, like my tool guys that come, because I have my tool bodies that come, and like my snap On and my mat Co and my Cornwall, they all come and I have had the same conversation with them just because they see all the same people in my field. So maybe they have like job openings or somebody looking for a job, and I talked to them and they all tell me the same thing. But it just feels like something in my heart or like something is just
like stopping me. I know, like mentally, I know that I should I shouldn't like advance myself, I should be better for myself. Well, but I don't know what's stopping me.
Let me ask you this.
Have you.
Have you ever gone against your father? Have you ever entered into a conflict with him or disagreed with him? Or I guess I don't want to. I don't want to say stood up to him because that seems a little too dramatic.
But you know what I'm saying, Yeah.
I get you, and and to be honest with you, like not really no, I don't know, just just how my family grew up, you know, just what my dad says. My dad says essentially just something I don't know. It's not like he beat me or anything. It's not like I was abused like torn like just it's just something like it's something that's a part of me. What my boy says, what my dad says, whether I like it or not.
Yeah, And you know what, Listen while you're growing up. You know, when you're sixteen, you know, before you're eighteen, and and you know any time after the age of eighteen where you find yourself financially dependent upon him. You know, yeah, that's true. You know he's he's your dad, he's that's the rules, whatever. But this is not the case anymore. You're twenty one years old. You have your own skills,
you make your own money, you're your own person. And you know, I feel like you might be having this block because you've always lived by the philosophy that you know, what Dad says goes. But now you are in a position where you have transcended that you're an adult, you
can make your own decisions. And now I see it as an opportunity to have a rebirthing of your relationship with your dad that is based less upon you know, something authoritative or businessy or anything like that, and based solely upon he's your father and you love him, and that's that's the foundation of your relationship more so than uh, you know, anyone having control over over anyone else.
Right, right, I mean, but I guess my other problem is my my my only other problement is recently because I told him this like maybe three four days ago, like when I finally growed up the courage to talk to him, he kind of started giving me the cold shoulder. So I can only imagine if I really left you, see what I mean. That's that's my my other other thing.
About well, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, he's your dad needs to grow up.
I don't know what else to say.
I mean, if he's given you the cold shoulder, if he's being you know, a baby about it, uh, you know, at a certain point, and it's it's it's it's I know it's hard because you don't want your dad to ignore you.
But you can't.
You can't bend to that. I mean, that's fucked up that he's giving you the cold shoulder. That that's not right, and you you don't. You can't be out here rewarding that kind of behavior bye by giving into it and and eventually eventually years will go by, your dad will get over it, you know, but you you need to be okay with him giving you the cold shoulder.
I mean, I.
Knew, I knew this is this is essentially what everybody like everybody, it's a universe.
You know.
I gotta do what I gotta do.
Well, Kevin.
Good luck to you, man, and you know, congratulations to you for for finally taking this uh uh big step toward you know, becoming your own person. I think it's important, it's it's important you do this now because you need to free yourself from your father so that you can move on with you know, the growth in your life. And I know it's a tough thing to do, so i'm I'm I'm excited for you that you're.
Gonna do it.
Yeah, thank you very much.
You know that means a lot.
I try to call you to the comminations will happen?
Kevin? Is the anything else you want to say to the people the computer before we go?
Yeah, if everybody can look in their closets, in their attics, in their mom's houses or guitar Hero guitars and dongleswe you be having a very hard time trying to play some goddamn guitar hero.
So you got to do me that favor. That'd be great.
Yeah.
If anyone can find this man an any guitar Hero or rock band instruments, please let us know so we can get into him.
Yeah yeah, post him online please and and don't charge one hundred fifty bucks. All right, that's kind of ridiculous.
I'm just trying to play rock down.
I'm not trying to side a business.
Thank you for calling Kevin.
Thank you.
That's a tough situation, having to stand up to your parents. I'm glad that the people around kay when he said, this is what everyone's been telling me. I'm glad that people around him have been telling him this true. And I think people know at this point, you know, it sucks to hear that his dad is being a baby about it. And that's fucking really hard because because I think from a it's interesting from our perspective, From the
outsider perspective, this feels like, this feels very easy. This feels like the the notion of Okay, my father doesn't control me comes very easy when you're looking at it from an outside perspective. But I'm trying to I'm really thinking about it from Kevin's position, where you know, he's twenty one years old, so for twenty one years, his brain has been fully conditioned that what his father says goes and now he you know, it's not as easy for me as you know, for me to say, oh, well,
your dad hasn't known you. It's like, great, it's easy to say, but the reality is is this guy's got to now be tasked with breaking twenty one years of conditioning in order to move forward, which is tough.
I think he'll do it. I don't know.
I never know if people are gonna actually do any of these things, but I hope he does, and good luck to him.
Everything again goes on the line, taking your phone calls every nine. Everything goes to his eye. He's teaching you cloud in the metery of life, but he's not an expert.