"GOING TO RAVES AND DOING DRUGS WITH MY MOM"

Hey, folks, it's Lyle.

Get this. I'm coming to over forty cities across the United States, the UK, Europe and Australia to do this here Therapy Gecko Podcast Live. These shows will involve bringing folks from the audience up on stage to talk to a gecko about whatever they want, just like we do on the podcast. The shows are completely unplanned, completely unpredictable, and they will be a lot of fun. So if you're a fan of the podcast, you should definitely come out.

I hope to see you there. All right, let's get into the episode.

Hi, Hello, what's up cooking some chickens? How are you doing tonight?

I'm feeling good. My socks are wet. I've run out of clean socks. And normally when people run out of clean socks, what do they usually do, Alex, the laundry? They do the laundry, answer their socks. What's what they normally do. What do you think I've been doing?

Sounds like you have not been doing your laundry.

I have not been doing my laundry. Why do you think I'm not doing my laundry?

It's a great caution. Do you have in house washer dryer or do you go to a laundromat?

I mean it's it's as there's one in where I live, but it's upstairs and I'm downstairs. Effort, Alex, How can I get you today? Is there anything in particular that you called in to talk about?

Yes, you wanted to keep it light and positive today, so I wanted to talk about the benefits of not having a traditional parent daughter relationship.

Okay, in what ways? How would you define a non traditional parent daughter relationship?

I think a good example would be like that guy who went to the strip club with his mom, and I feel like mine is very similar, but I have changed mine in the way that my mom has like joined my rave family.

Your mom has joined your rave family?

Yeah?

Yeah, what a enture to her first festival this year and she just had the best time. And so now when we go to the raves and go to the shows, we always bring her with us. And I do have to say she is usually the best dressed for the event.

Okay, what does she wear that makes her the best dressed?

This summer, she actually made all her own outfits. She made these like purple fuzzy crotchless chaps and then wore like super sparkly underwear and she had one of those like fuzzy led light up coats. I live in Alaska and it gets really chilly, so her whole thing is layer so she changes her outfits throughout the day, so it's like less clothes, shiny all the way to fuzzy. It's kind of funny.

What is the raves scene like in Alaska?

It's on the return. I would say COVID really killed it. And in the last maybe like six months, it's become a lot more prevalent with shows. It's all local, you know. I can't say that there's a lot of bigs part.

I'm surprised that COVID killed I'm surprised that anyone in Alaska has COVID, Like, how did it even get over there? Alaska is like all the way and four It's like not even in a place.

Yeah, I heard you were coming here for your tour, and I have to say, I'm very excited.

Well we'll see, we'll see. We haven't booked in Alaska place yet, but we're working on it anyway. Okay, So you have this non traditional relationship with your mom. Has it always been that way? What is your relationship with your mom typically been? Like it says that you're twenty nine, so you've had, you know, a long relationship with her. How has it helved over the year. Y?

I think I was I was more of a daddy's girl, and then my father passed away, and you know, take advantage of the parent you have left create a better relationship that we've been just like figuring out ways to communicate better and spend time together better and like in healthier ways. So we're not, you know, frustrated by each other.

Had you guys been frustrated with each other pretty often beforehand?

Definitely? I think we just don't. We're very similar and stubborn and it just doesn't communicate very well.

In what ways? Would you say that you guys are stubborn.

Just like sticking to your opinion and having strong opinions, you know, and that can butt heads. And I think in my household with my history. It's like quick to frustration and anger, just you know, being that being my mom instead of someone I'm just trying to have a conversation with.

Yeah, yeah, I'm all right. I have to ask this. Did you and your mom do drugs together?

Yes?

My mom actually grows mushrooms.

Ah.

We've also taken Mollie together, which was really fun. But yeah, my mom grows mushrooms. I feel like that's what she's She partakes a lot more than I do in.

That particularly, really, so she was turning you on.

I came home a couple oh ten.

Mm hm, you were gonna say you came home.

I came home a couple of weeks ago, and I was staying over at someone else's house. And when I came home, I pulled up in the driveway and her apart were we live in a four pleques. I live in a different unit, And when I pulled up in the driveway, her apartment was all lit up in lights

Hmmm, you know I have to. I'm curious about this because I think traditionally, well, okay, so these these people that your mom had over when you came to her house, were they your friends before and then your mom came into the scene.

Yes, we have a organized kickball games in the summer and we have like a very centralized friend group and then our rave family's like built around that. So she's met them through the kickball But yeah, they were mine more of my friends first.

I think you Well, I was going to Your perspective on this is really interesting because I think in some situations people could look at this like, oh, my mom is like stealing my friends, or they would feel like jealous about it. But you have the complete opposite perspective. You're actually glad that somebody who is important to you in your life is integrating with other people who were important to you in your life and you view it as a positive thing.

Yeah, I definitely view myself as someone who tries to bring good people together. You know, Alaska's really small and it can be really hard to make new friends. You know, only have so many options. So that's kind of why I organize the kickball too. It's like I just want people to you know, be friends with all these other people and we can create like a good community, which is kind of tying into the EDM thing as well.

And you know, it's interesting because you're now that you're twenty nine, it's like you don't really your relationship with your parents kind of naturally changes because you don't really need your mom to like be your your mom as much as you did, you know, when you were growing up, and for her to take this role in your life, like as you know, as a friend that you hang out with all your other friends that do mushrooms with is an interesting development of that relationship.

Yeah, I completely agree. That's how I look at it too, and I think it's been a really positive thing. We're really looking forward to festivals next year. We have one big one, but then we kind of like do our own thing out camping with like generators and speakers, so it'll be really nice to have her around for that time too.

Has there been any like any cons or anything weird about integrating your mom into your life in this way.

I'm always kind of nervous, like what if she you know, she's an adult and she can make her own choices, But what if she did choose to like sleep with one of my friends. I think that would be a con I don't think she would, but I've always kind of viewed that as like, I don't know if I would be comfortable with that.

Hmmmm.

Why Why would they like to hit on her and be like, Oh, it's your mom?

Mm hmmm hm. Why do you feel like that would make you uncomfortable?

I think it depends on the person, right, Like if it was someone who did it and then like kept throwing it into my face for the rest of my life, like who I had sex with your mom? You know, like that it would be kind of like my barrier. Like I think it's funny when people can be like, oh, it's at your mom's house last weekend, you know, hanging out and doing mushrooms in the fort, which is like a positive thing. With the other thing I could see

M Now, if your mom, let's say, like, is it just a hookup thing that would bother you? Like if somebody from this group started like seriously dating your mom, how would that feel?

I don't know. My mom has a tendency to like she dated our like a bouncer at one of the regular bars that we go to, and so I think that would actually be more comfortable for me, which sounds weird, but you know, she's been single for like ten years now, maybe a little bit more and live your best life. I just don't want it to negatively impact mine.

Yeah, this is an interesting issue because a lot of the way that you're integrating your mom into your life is very much a I would say, like a celebration of her as a person in your life who has her own independent identity outside of just being your mother.

Yeah, I like I said, I don't think it'll ever happen, but you know, you had asked, and I think that was my honest answer.

Mm hm. Is this something you've ever talked to your mom about?

No, I have talked to my therapist about it.

What did they say.

Never my mother. She The advice she gave me was it's just very simple. It was like, you know, re react to it and let your body process it, and just communicate whatever happens with her and hopefully you guys can work it out. She knows that we don't communicate very well, so we came up with some like tips and tricks for going if that situation were to arise. But fingers crossed.

It does not.

Can I hear what these tips and tricks are.

One of them was like writing down ideas like kind of like almost like in a like a you know, just like notes, so if you did get flustered in the conversation, you could just draw back to that and make sure that you guys are staying on track and it's not just like exploding, And the other one was maybe writing her a letter instead, since I you know,

Right, right. You can also you can collect your thoughts a little bit better when you have some time to write them down and prepare them. Yeah, exactly, why do you why do you feel like you like I'm prepared? Sure? Well, okay, so what I was gonna say just now is like this is into the more I'm talking about it though, it's very interesting because you have integrated your mom into your life in this you know, in this way. Why do you feel like you have trouble communicating with her?

I think it's mostly just a childhood thing. She's one of eleven kids, and so her family is like a yelling family, right, They never really like you don't you're crying, You don't sit down and talk to you mom about your feelings. You just shut up and sit down and need dinner because there's eleven of you.

And is that the uh? Does she bring that energy into your family when when you were growing up.

I think there was definitely like a conscious effort to have conversations. I think when it came to like serious topics, uh, they were just not handled as well as they could have been. And it always gets kind of ugly. I think again, like you know, just a wolfing stubborn you don't want to like give on either side about what you're arguing about.

Right. You mentioned you guys both being stubborn. Has that has this gotten like has this communication issue gotten like better as you've your relationship has progressed and as you've degraded her to your rave family, I would say yes.

I think seeing her and being able to interact with her in a way that is more like friendly and just like relaxing or you know, partying or whatever it is kind of when you have enough of those interactions, I feel like it's changed the way I see her when I speak to her. Yeah, I don't. I haven't called my mom mom in like, I don't know, six and a half years. I call her by her name. People think that's weird, but it's just when we started

Hmmm, so you've been calling her by her first name for six years.

Yeah, And I think kind of having that separation of your mother versus you know, this another adult person, and having enough of those interactions has kind of like helped rewire my brain. So when I see her and we are talking, I don't just think of her as like my annoying mother who wants you know, A B and C and uh. It's it's just allowed me to like actually have a conversation. I don't know what it's like on her end, but she also seems to communicate a lot better with me as well.

All yeah, I was gonna ask like about her end, like how do you think she feels about you calling her by her name instead of calling her your mom?

She doesn't mind it. We've had convers stations about it. There's a lot of people who think it's weird and they'll be like why do like why do you call her that? And I'm like, that's her second name, Like, yeah, she's my mom, but we I don't know. I just I feel like once that kind of like high school teenage mothering situation turned off, I just turned the name off.

Do you feel like you calling her by her real name, which you're saying, is giving you a more I guess, three dimensional portrait of her in your head, seeing her as more of her own person than just as your mom. Do you think that's helped you guys' relationship.

I don't think I noticed a difference in the beginning as much as I do now, And I don't really know what, you know, what exactly came into play with that, but I I think in the beginning it was just like, oh, I'm at the bar with my mom. I don't want other people to see her at my mom and Kate, you know whatever.

So a part of it was like in service of her.

Yeah, I mean she's you know, we we, like I said, we frequent the same bar, and if she's if she's on like a date there and I just so happened to also be going there. I don't want to walk up and be like hey mom and.

He's like, oh you you have.

Kids, like you know, I just kind of erased that part out and just call her Liz because we've had that happen before, where she's like on a date and I walk up and then you know, at the end of the night, we I asked her if she needed a ride, and she was like, oh, that's so nice, and she's like, yeah, the daughter, you know, but I didn't he wouldn't know that because I didn't call her mom.

This is really fascinating to me because this is like, you know, there is something really especially you know, when you become like an adult adult, there is something to be said about you. You really upgrade your relationship with your parents the more you can see them outside of the context of them being your parents. But then within that, how do you also maintain you know, I mean, the fact that they are your parents and that is its

Yeah, yeah, probably probably like three or four times significantly. Yeah, but like you know, at home chilling with all her fuck shitty, we probably like ten or twelve.

And And have you ever done Molly your mushrooms with just her or is it always in a group setting?

Yes? I have just her. Yeah, we've we've done that we did like the music festival. And then another significant time was we actually in the four plexat we have, there's a Airbnb also, and so instead of my mom renting out the airbnb that night, she just left it open and we turned it into like kind of like a like a DJ room and like put a couple of DJs in there and had like lights and stuff, and we had a bunch of our friends over and and that was a pretty significant time as well.

I'm talking about like just well, okay, so let me here's what I'm getting at is like and if you know, for me, I've experienced, like you know, Molly mushrooms. There they are like you know, you said your and your mom have trouble like communicating with each other. And to me, like Molly is like, it's just the fucking ultimates. Here's everything on my chest and every vulnerable vulnerability I have to give. Let me just throw it out there, like it really kind of primes your brain in that sense.

Yeah, Yeah, No, I totally get that. No, I don't really feel like it has more chillen like at home with the mushrooms, like you said, like it is, it's not the same as far as like you said, still your guts and tell everything. But I do think it makes things easier, just like in my mind more clear and I'm able to communicate better.

So what helps you communicate better with her?

Yeah? I can say that we had one experience at a music festival where she wanted to have a conversation about something, but for me, it was just kind of triggering with my dad, and so I just didn't feel comfortable sharing that moment with her in that time. You know, it's supposed to be like a positive space for me, So I kind of shut that down and we I tried to revisit it after, but she couldn't really figure

So she in that music festival environment, like had she was on what's molly or mushrooms or something like that, and yeah, this thing that she really wanted to talk about was like brought up into her mind, but it was too intense for you at the time, so you didn't you didn't have the conversation.

Yeah, exactly. I find that mushrooms make me really emotional, like I feel things a lot deeper. And so while having those conversations is great, if they ever veer, like to one side or the other in a negative way, I would not like to get kind of trapped in that. You know, my brain tends to reprocess those things a lot, so it's something I try to avoid. We did later

When was this.

This was the first weekend of September. This year was our first year we actually have a real quote unquote real for Alaska DM Music Festival. The first year I think went really well. It's called Spectrum. It's pretty cool. I'm really excited to go back next year.

So does any like that your mom had that thing that she wanted to bring up, those kind of personal and you didn't really want to talk about. Does any part of you, either at of curiosity or out of anything like desire to in the future get your mom in a place where you guys can talk about whatever that thing was.

I kind of brought it up to her and she had said that it like I was like, hey, you remember and you wanted to talk about blah blah blah, and she was like, yeah, kind of, I don't really remember, like why it was significant to me at that time, So it's not I guess it's just not something that's but it's kind of gonna kind of like you know, you get a light bulb and then it's like gone. I don't think it was something super serious as much as like a memory.

Okay, well that's this is it. This is really cool. It's great that you, like, I don't know, it sounds like there's you're you're figuring out a lot of stuff, but that you know, you and your mom are like very heavily in each other's lives and yeah, you know, finding these moments with each other.

Yeah, I feel really lucky to have cultivated that type of relationship. And like I said, we're very similar and she loves to host and so do I, and so it works out really well to live so close. And we definitely have an interesting, unique type of relationship. But I think for us it's been really positive.

Alex. Is there anything else that like you want to say about this or any other kind of you know, aspects of this that you felt like we didn't tell talk about or anything at all like that.

Uh No, I don't think so. I just wanted to like bring it to people's attention because I found the you know, I found the strip club thing with the mom so interesting. I was like, damn, is that something.

I would go do?

Like I really had to think about it. And then also being able to be on the show was pretty pretty cool. Nice to talk to you.

Yeah, I'm thinking about a lot of the stuff you said, like, you know, how the fact that you call her by her first name and that's weird to some people, and like, you know, a lot of like I said, I mean, even how when you were telling me about how they your mom has your friends over without you, to have these rooms to kind of come over and they're hanging out, Like I can see why people would find stuff like that strange. And I'm really thinking about my own opinion

And.

I don't know, I don't know like what exactly is normal or kind of like the depth in which you can dive into with your parents, especially again, as you grow older and you look at them more three dimensionally. I don't know. I don't know if there is a weird or normal way to evolve that relationship. You know,

Yeah.

Yeah, Like I told you, I actually live in the same fourplex as her. If you want to ask her questions, I could take the phone upstairs.

Ooh hmm, give me one second. We have okay, let me thank you.

M hm.

You know what. Yeah, let's talk to her for at least a little bit.

A little bit and she's not here anymore. She was just here. She was in my apartment earlier in the call, trying to talk to me, So I thought she was home.

Oh is she not here?

No?

Early or she came downstairs and was trying to talk to me and so I just came upstairs, but she's not here.

Oh that's okay. Where do think she went?

I'm not sure she likes to go to bars too, so she might just be having dinner or something. I think it's yeah, it's like six thirty. But that kind of ties into the side of like more of a friend, right, Like we live in the same building, but we don't live in the same apartments. Like I thought she was home, but I didn't know. We shared locations on the phone, so it's nice to be able to check, you know, see if somebody is home or not.

Well, have her have her call in on her own phone. At some point, I'd love to talk to her. I don't know if she watches the show or anything like that, but yeah, I love to talk to her.

Okay, cool. I will check in with her about that on Wednesday.

Do you have any siblings?

I have one sibling.

What's their relationship like with your mom or what's their place in all of this?

Great question. She lives about five hours north of me, and she goes to college up there, and she and my mom also have a really good relationship. I don't think it's at all similar in the like non traditional ways. I think with her being in college and she's what twenty I think she's twenty two, twenty three, I think it just is more of that typical parent daughter relationship, you know, call for advice and come visit for holidays

How do you think she views your guys's relationship? Like does she? And like is she? Do you think she's envious and wants a kind of relationship like that? Do you think she kind of is doing her own thing? Like I guess what's your perspective on her perspective?

That's a really good question. I've never really talked to her about it, but I don't I don't think there's any like I've never gotten like bad vibes coming from her about it. I think she views it as a positive thing as well. I think that having one parent also kind of plays into that, Like you're a lot more willing to just accept your other parent that you have last and just try and figure a way to have that positive relationship, which is what she does.

Also, mm hmmm, what is.

Your name again? Alex? Alex, thank you for sharing all of this stuff. This was really fascinating and I appreciate you being really open and you know, telling us all about it.

Awesome.

Yeah, it was really nice to talk to you. I hope you have a good rest of the stream.

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

I don't think so. Thank you.

Thank you, Alex. Yeah, that was fascinating. I really like, I don't know you're It's funny the last time I did ecstasy, I was thinking, I was like, what would

I heard people say you sound different on here? You really do?

It's it's odd, m Well, you know, I would say you sound different, but I don't have any idea of how you normally sound. What is your name?

That's fair? My name is ian Ian.

What's going on with you?

Well, I've been watching through your videos in Guatemala, and that's hilarious and awesome, especially when you're calling yourself at the toad.

Ah, yes, yes, I was doing that. What's what's what's going on with you?

Well, I've actually been I've been learning Spanish myself, and I've been thinking about leaving the country. But but there's a lot of you know, there's a lot that goes into that, and there's a lot of anxiety that goes along with that.

Okay, what are you anxious about?

Well, you know, I love my family and I don't necessarily want to leave them behind, but I do want to have my own experiences.

And are you are is this is this specifically about traveling alone?

Uh?

Well yeah, Okay, where are you planning on traveling to that you're afraid to go to?

Uh? Well, I hadn't thought about Guatemala until I watched your videos, and that seems like a good option. But I had just been thinking about like Argentina or maybe somewhere in Mexico.

Mm hmmm. And you were thinking about a quick trip or you were thinking about something that's months long. What what tell me your tell me your ideal travels that you are afraid to do.

M I guess I'm really thinking about becoming an expat. I kind of just want to relocate and start afresh.

Okay, So we're talking about leaving your family. Leaving your family not for the weekend.

But yeah, for life.

Okay, we're talking about leaving. We are talking about nuking your life, quitting your job, murdering your family or just or you don't have to murder them, but leaving them behind and going to Mexico and starting a new yes, okay, okay, all right, that's a different conversation than just doing a little solo travels here and there. Why do you feel inclined to start a new life. What is exciting to you about that prospect?

Well, I mean, I've always wanted to travel other places, and I'm a big practicing Spanish for about a year now, so I definitely want to focus somewhere that speaks Spanish. But I don't really have a lot holding me here besides my family. Like I'm twenty eight and I don't really like have much beside my dog.

You know, Well, do you have your family, have kids?

No? No, like my my parents and my brother.

Oh okay, all right, all right, yeah, it's different. I thought you thought that. I was like, well, you know, it's one thing too, because you can't. I mean, look, it's one thing to leave your you leave your children behind. You know, no, but you can leave it. It's very it's normal to leave your parents behind. Everyone usual. A lot of people do that. A lot of people leave their parents' house and start a new life. But you're a dick if it's your kids.

Yeah, and see I actually moved out of my parents' house when I was sixteen, and like, I moved to Colorado and then I ended up in Illinois, and I like I got really homesick and Illinois up ended up coming back to Utah, and like, I really love my family of a lot.

Okay, so you're twenty eight and you're thinking about starting anew in Mexico. Yeah, is there other Is there any other aspect or thing that would prevent you from going, aside from just you don't want to be away from your parents.

I mean, I am the manager of where I work, but that's not like a huge thing. They can find another manager.

But yeah, I also don't think that what are you the manager of?

So I work for a charity organization we take in clothing donations.

And yeah, okay, well what would you want to do if you moved to Mexico?

I mean I could be a cook, I could, I could work on a farm. I I could, I don't know, be a beach bum.

Well listen, I'm gonna I'm gonna say a few things about this. First of all, despite what I said earlier, you don't actually have to kill your family to leave them. You can just simply leave and they will still be alive. You can still call your mound, you can still call your mother, you can still call your father. You can actually even still go from Mexico back to the United States to see them. Are you are they older?

They are like a little over.

Fifty, a little over fifty. Okay, have you stayed have you? What state do you live in?

Utah?

Okay? How long have you lived in Utah?

For? It's kind of a weird conglomeration because I've moved so much in total, probably nineteen years.

Okay, so you moved a lot. So I was going to ask you, is have you done a lot of traveling? I mean we're talking about completely you're talking about moving to a new place. Have you even visited other places outside of the US.

I have never had a passport or anything. I've never been outside of the US.

Do you have a passport right now?

I don't.

Okay, that's an issue, so I don't Usually I'm I'm doing a new thing where I'm trying not to tell people what to do. I'm gonna tell you what to do. Is that okay?

Yeah?

Yeah, okay, I think it would be a good I'm not gonna tell you what to do. I'm gonna tell you what what. I'm not going to tell you what to do. I'm gonna tell you what I think would be a good idea. I think it would be a good idea for you to take a trip. Do you have a little bit of money saved up?

Yeah?

Okay. Are you able to get time off of your job? I definitely, you said, definitely, Okay, great, take a trip. Don't because I think jumping to the grand fantasy of completely abandoning your life and starting a new attractive fantasy, we don't know what the reality looks like. Not to say that the reality wouldn't be similarly attractive. I'm not

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

Okay, what do you want to take a trip to? Where are we're going? Can I come?

I mean I would that sounds amazing.

I count as a lap pet a cage. Where do you want to go?

Argentina?

Argentina? Okay, what's stopping you from going?

There. Uh, just that I haven't done it.

Actually, wait, I actually know the answer. I forgot. I forgot. You don't have a passport. You need to do that as go get a passport. Do you know how to get a passport?

I think you just go to the post office, right and like sell out some day work, get a picture.

Okay, let's ye, that's that's that sounds about right. Okay, go do that. Go do that and then go to Argentina. Just do it if you can get if you cause when I asked you if you can get time off work you said definitely, So I know you can do it.

Yeah, get your.

Time off of work. Go to Argentina for a week. Do you know what a hostel is?

Uh? Yeah, I've I've heard of them.

Okay, this is not an ad. Go to hosteleworld dot com search for hostels in Argentina and go book a week at a hostel. Go there by yourself. Pack a little bag, put some clothes and a toothbrush and some

I was actually curious what kind of I was curious what kind of preparation you did before you went to Guatemala, Like, did you like look it up a lot online?

And I did very little. I was having an EXISTENTI I talked about this in the in that video that you were watch. I had an existential crisis, and I realized I looked at him. You know, you know what I did. I looked at my I looked at a map. I went to Google Maps, and I looked at where I am on the map, and I realized that I very seldom leave. I looked at the whole map and

Yeah, and I have no idea when I'm going to die and I want to see stuff, so I should just start going and looking at stuff and getting.

Out of that radius. It gets good. Good, I'm glad you are. And so I was like, I just need to get out of the radius. And so I booked the flight and I went on TikTok and I searched things to do and in Tiwaguanamala and I did a couple of them. But the real but but but to me, the real adventures uh lied in just talking to random people at the hostel and the folks you beat doing that walk it of course, you know, my my gecko videos get me into some adventures. I go out dressed

M Yeah, that's that's a lot to think about, and I definitely appreciate the encouragement. I you know, I guess I don't talk to a lot of people in general. I'm gonna say I don't talk to people about this. I don't really talk a lot in general. I just kind of work and that's it.

So, uh, you got like a Walter thought on.

What now?

Well, you know they ever see the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty? Oh No, is that a dick thing to say to someone that they have a Walter Midi thing. I think it's a compliment because I'm like imagining you going on all these Walter Midia adventures.

I don't know what it means, but started coming from you, I'll take it as a compliment.

I like that. Why don't you talk to a lot of people.

I've just been my routine, you know. I graduated in twenty twelve and have been working.

Since Okay, because let me ask you this final question. Since you graduated in twenty twelve, before that, when you were in high school and college and middle school, did you talk to people?

Uh? Yeah, yeah, I guess I mean, yeah, when you're in school, Yeah, I kind of have to. And but yeah, this is definitely more social in that setting.

But yeah, I think that the the the solo travel setting is very similar, right where it's like you have to so you do.

Yeah, what's your name again?

Ian?

Ian? Ian? Is there anything else you want to say to me or to God or to SpongeBob or to the people of the computer before we go.

Called the SpongeBob. I'm an atheist, and you know I love you and just keep doing what you're doing.

My mother fucking love you too. Ian. Good luck. Let me know if you if you if you end up actually going to Argentina, send me a d M. I want to know if you actually did it.

Hell yeah, send me.

A fucking photo of you. I want in three months from now, when you get your passport, I want to see that photo.

All right, I'm gonna go get my passport. I'm working on it.

I'm doing good, okay, good, all right, thank you Ian, Thank you. I am so fucked if that guy dies in Argentina, like like you know those people, you know, those people who like takes, who like die because they fell off of a cliff taking a selfie. I feel like he's gonna be like trying to take a selfie on a mountain to send to me and he's gonna die. I'm not I'm I'm not putting that out into the universe, but okay, anyway, let's move on. Hello, Hello, how are you?

I'm fine?

How are you doing?

I'm doing all right. How can I get you today?

Uh?

Well, so sorry, I'm watching in a dark room. I was just calling. I listened to your show a bit, and I like, I hear a lot of folks kind of in their twenties and feeling like things are down and out. But I'm in my thirties and I just wanted to, I guess, give a bit of experience on how it can all be okay.

I'd love to hear that. How how how can I be okay? You know, everyone thinks that I'm here to give people advice, but I'm I'm so much more interested in taking it than I am and giving it a that sounds well, sex, I'm gonna let you talk. I did those stupid.

No no this is great. Well, first of all, I think that you're probably doing it right if you're doing something that you love, and I guess the main thing is saying yes to things that are positive, or saying yes to things that come into chants and not pushing

So your life has been improved by saying no to hard drugs and yes to soft drugs.

Yeah, well, I don't know if that's that's not the whole thing. Maybe saying that's a that's a that's one set.

No.

I think I assue where you're coming from. Your no. I think I see where you're coming from. You're just like, hey, you know, there's a lot to gain by uh, saying yes to the opportunities that present themselves to you within reason.

Yeah, totally saying no to bad people, saying yes to people that are honest.

And so tell me what in your life today? In your life, now, what's something recently you said yes to that you maybe weren't going to, but you did and it worked out.

So I guess it's a few years ago now. But I went back to school when I was thirty. I was kind of just doing it to just get out and get a job. But in the process of that, one of the my professors, she was really kind and open, and she basically I had this problem. I had this problem in this internship that I was possibly going to try out. But I've never studied the subject before, and she told me just to talk to this guy, and she was kind of like the cool guy teacher on

But well, listen, thanks for calling in and you know, giving us, you know that that that perspective. Is there kind of anything else you wanted to add to this or or say to the people before we go?

I guess. Just be kind to yourself. Know that no decision is final, but as long as you're looking out for you and yours and it's gonna be okay.

Thank you for calling uh not B. Thank you for calling B.

That's the right.

Have a good night you too.

Never goes on the line thinking your phone calls every night. Never be can goes to his side's

Teaching you aloud your life, but it's not friendly, an expert