Hello, what's up? How's it going? How is life? Uh? This is gek Mail. This is a segment of my show that I do where I read viewer mail and talk about it. You know, people send me words, they send stuff to therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com, and I respond to it. In the last gek Mail, I took phone calls while I was doing emails, and I'm not gonna do that today. And the reason is that I don't feel like it. This is I'm this.
I'm gonna make this podcast in particular, This episode in particular is gonna be a selfish endeavor, and I'm going to be the only voice that you will hear for the duration of the episode. Maybe next episode I'll bring calls back. I don't no, it depends on my mood. And today I'm actually in a chill mood. Today. I'm in Tokyo. Right now, I'm in Tokyo. I'm just hanging
out here and it's pretty sweet. It's pretty great. I am in a hotel room wearing a Gecko costume, speaking into a microphone, looking at a bunch of unread emails. I was on the phone yesterday with my mom for like forty five minutes. It is great. You should call your mom. If you're lucky enough that your mom is around and you guys have a good relationship, you should call your mom. I called my mom and I found
out apparently my grandfather. I was talking to my mom about like Japan, and my mom randomly was I didn't know this, but my mom was like, apparently my grandfather like spent four months out of the year in Japan for like twenty years, and like spoke fluent Japanese. And my mom was like, Oh, your grandfather would be super happy that you're running around in Japan. And I'm like, oh,
that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. So I don't know, I feel I feel I feel good, and I feel relaxed, and I feel happy, and I'm ready to just kind of hang out and take some emails. So wherever you are in the world listening to this, I hope you're feeling chill too, And let's have a chill time reading some emails, shall we. Okay? This is from Jamie. Subject line, Hey Lyle, what color is your pee? Oh? This is a long Okay, this email is too long for me
to read. You know, I'll read you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna just read this until I don't want to anymore. Okay, this is from Jamie. Sorry for the intrusive question, but I've had the color green on my mind lately, and I was wondering why the color of my pea has such a significant impact on my mood. All right, I'm intrigued, all right. Line by line, I'm gonna decide whether I want to keep reading this email, and after that line, I'm down to keep reading a bit about me. My
favorite color is sage. What the fuck is sage? Because I like that shade of green and I recently quit my job with nothing else lined up. So don't worry, except I'm gonna okay. Except I'm in a fortunate position as it stands, so don't worry. I'm okay on the job front. I have a step mom who works slash manages in a company responsible for local recruitment. It's mostly factory work, but her clients are always outsourcing. What Okay, this has nothing to do with pe Okay, Yeah, I
don't want to keep reading this email. Let's do another one, all right. This is from N eight, subject line I jumped off a balcony at a party and broke my ankle. Ghek I did a dun Three weeks ago. I was at a holiday party and was super drunk. There was an indoor balcony overlooking the main level where the majority of the people were. Fifty people watched me jump fifteen feet off the balcony onto a couch. It was gonna
be so epic. Unfortunately, my left foot missed the couch and took all the impact at a weird angle, which resulted in my ankle traumatically dislocating. My foot was on a fifty My foot was at a forty five degree angle, and the whole room freaked out. It was honestly really funny, But as the pain set in, I began to realize this was going to seriously affect my life for a while.
Was that really? You know, I have a lot of You know, Nate, if you're listening to this, I have a lot of respect for you because I like that your first thought when your fucking foot turned forty five degrees is that it was funny. That's a good way to look at life. You know, you get hit by a car, that's probably funny to someone watching you. You get diagnosed with cancer. That's so, that's a just God's sense of humor. You get your arm cut off by
a machine and a freak accident, it's funny. It is funny. It is funny. Okay, anyway, have you ever broken a bone? I know you're not into thrills. How do you know I'm not into thrills. I like thrills. Actually, that's that's true. I'm not into thrills at all. I hate doing stuff where I could possibly get hurt. Have you ever done anything this dumb? Yeah, that's what he said. Have you
ever done anything this dumb? Uh? Yeah. Yeah. When I was younger, I would jump off of stuff and then yeah, like at the like on the playgrounds, I would jump off of high platforms and I remember I did it once and I had a little limp for a while. But I've never broken a bone because I usually if I'm gonna jump off of something, I make mathematical propositions in my head to tell me whether or not I will get sincerely hurt. But again, I'm glad that you
had a good sense of humor about this. And yes, this probably is going to seriously affect your life for a while. But I just want to let me just if I could give you this advice, Nate, whatever it is that was really funny to you about this when it first happened. Don't lose that, Okay. So when you're looking at your when you're like in a wheelchair or on crutches or whatever, like just every once in a while, just look down at your foot and just start laughing.
Just realize that it's funny that your ankle is fucked up, and you'll be good. You'll be good. I think this guy's gonna be okay. This is from Michael. Subject line terrifying mushroom trips with a talking snake. All right, we got Harry Potter calling in. Hey, Lyle, I am Michael. I have been a long time listener. About a year ago, I took a large dose of penis envy mushrooms and
had a terrifying trip in my apartment. At first, it started like any other trip, but then I started to feel nauseous and went to lie down in my bed and ended up closing my eyes. At first, the usual shapes like flower of life would appear and pulsate bright alternating colors. At what is the flower of life? I'm googling this. Hold on pausing the email here. Flower of Life. Flower of Life is a geometric symbol made of overlapping
circles that represents life, creation, and unity. Okay, so yeah, you close your eyes and you see oh I did. Oh okay, yeah, okay, I've seen this before when I've closed my eyes and stuff, but I didn't know I had a name. I like that. After a while, the shapes disappeared, and instead I started seeing myself through a dark, purplish, purplish haze. Then I saw myself die in many horrible ways suicide, car crash, murder, choking, and a few dozen
other ways. During this trip, I hallucinated the vivid moments and the aftermaths of these deaths. The trip really freaked me out, and I ended up throwing my stash of shrooms away because of this. Several months went by after that trip, and I periodically ruminated about what I had experienced. I wasn't sure what to make of it, and decided to take another large dose of the same type of mushroom with the intention of figuring out what the trip meant,
if anything. So I took the shrooms, and once again I started to feel nauseous. Just like before, I went to lie down in my bed and closed my eyes. The same shapes appeared, the same colors, but this time, instead of the visuals transitioning into a purple haze, I saw a massive infinity symbol. This infinity symbol was moving and had iridescent scales. I'm so surprised I was able to read the word iridescent. But here we go, and once I noticed the scales, a serpent's head appeared. I
wasn't terrified, but intrigued and curious. I spoke aloud to the serpent, what was the meaning behind the visions of myself that I saw before? The serpent responded it said, you have died a million deaths and will die a million more. This made me extremely unsettled, and I asked the serpent why. It told me that I was a prisoner, that every life in this universe is bound to a cycle of death for eternity, where we exist and die only to experience variations of suffering with each life as
our punishment. I immediately asked what did we do? What did I do? But the vision started fading and the trip was winding down. Since then, I haven't touched a mushroom since I am still confused about how I should interpret the ordeal and was wondering if you could give me some perspective to process the entire experience. Also, should I try to trip again and discover more. Thanks for all you do and providing rational perspectives for our listeners. I'm okay, I'm about I'm about to be a bummer.
Can I be a bummer? Michael, I'm going to be a bummer here. I'm gonna be I just by the way, Okay. I want everyone to know because I know that I'm about to say some stuff that they're gonna piss people off in comments sections and whatnot. I'm just letting you know. This is what my gut is telling me in response to this email, and I am open to being wrong. But look, man, here's the thing. I'm not super duper sould on like hallucinations really being anything more than just hallucinations.
I think this right. I think that, like like, I believe in the subconscious, and I believe that, like you know, traumas and desires and thoughts and feelings exist in our subconscious and things like dreams and hallucinations can kind of bring those to the surface. And so maybe, you know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe in that case, the hallucinations, uh, you know, do mean something. They mean things that you
were already thinking about. And so I'm curious with this, What is it that you were already thinking about by like, this serpent is just you. You're not You're not contacting anything outside of your own self. Your serpent is you? This? This this snake? Okay? And so what did the snake say just said that? What is the meaning behind the Why why did it hold on? Why did it make you unsettled that the snake said, you've died a million deaths and will die a million more. It sounds like
a fairly standard cycle. I don't I don't really know what happens after we die, but I it would makes sense to me that we die and then whatever the fuck it is that you know, propel whatever, our carbon or whatever the fuck goes back into the ground, and
our ego dissolves and all of our memories dissolve. But like are the physical energy that we use to power our bodies, and shit like goes into the ground and you know, becomes like a dog or a lady bug or a or a piece of tape or something, and then you know, eventually the dog dies and the piece of tape gets like stuck to your finger and you have to and you kind of have to throw it away, and then you know, everything dies, and then I guess it's born. So yeah, I mean, yeah, you are in
a cycle in that sense. Yeah, every Yeah, like you said, every life in the universe, I guess it is bound to a cycle of death. Sure, this is probably everything I'm Everything I'm saying is probably just something you were already thinking about in your just you know, as a human being as you try to answer your existential questions. Everything I'm saying is something you probably already thought about,
and the serpent is just telling you. The serpent is just coming to conclusions for you that you've already been kind of inching towards in your head. But remember, there's no serpent, it's just you. You're just talking to yourself. So I was about I was about to go on a whole bummer thing about how, yeah, you took a drug and you're hallucinated and that's what drugs do. But I'm willing to believe that that not that not I'd like,
I don't think you contacted a serpent. Like I don't think you left your own brain, but you went into your subconscious and this is what your subconscious had to say. Uh, should you trip again? No, you shouldn't. You should go for a walk and drink some water and eat a piece of eat a fucking banana and some peanut butter, and you should never do mushrooms ever again. Okay, okay, this is from Brendan subject line are Dorito's bread? Are
Dorito's bread? Hey? Gek. A few years ago at my bachelor party, me and my buddies were drunk and made a bunch of little turkey and cheese sandwiches using two full sized Doritos as the bread. Does this make Dorito's bread? No, that's a stupid question. Also, I like to call jet Skis botor cycles because they are the motorcycles of the sea. That's a stupid question. The Dorito's bread thing. But I really I like whoever wrote this email a lot, because
they they this. Whoever wrote this, This guy Brendan. He lives life by his own rules. No any every like you know what? Yeah, called jet Ski's motorcycles. That's not wrong. All all things are only anything because the collective society, the collective everything is only called something because like there's some collective consciousness of society said it was that. But let me tell you something. You're powerful as a human being.
I'm going on, I'm going fucking full on motivational speaker today. Okay. You're powerful, Brendan because you have the power to break away from the collective consciousness and decide in your own fucking reality that jet skis are called motorcycles and Dorito's are brand and I, in my own reality, also have the ability to declare that to be stupid, and we can both live together and make out and be harmonious with one another. And for that reason, I love you
very much, Brendan. Okay, let's see here, all right. This is from someone who told me not to read their name on the stream, all right. This is from the whatever Jessica hi Gek in the Fall, I twenty six F matched with a girl twenty nine f on the apps. We hit it off right away and arranged a date for the next night. Hold on, let make sure I'm recording this all right? I am. We were supposed to meet up at a bar, but that got canceled. Due
to one of her pets going to the emergency vet. Still, she invited me over to her place despite the fact, so I headed over with a bottle of wine, not knowing what to expect. Drove over and we were hanging out, just chit chatting. I learned on the date that she cams and does a lot of dom work online. I even got a tour of the room where she does her streams. She showed me all of the toys she uses, and I got to see her sink filled to the brim with dildos and butt plugs. We got food ordered
to the house. She then invited me to jump into her hot tub. That's awesome. We made out under the full moon in the hot tub while it was raining. We moved things inside the house shortly after and had a good time. We hung out a little bit. Slash was texting a lot, but as of late November, I got ghosted. This was probably one of the craziest things I have ever done. She was a cool person, but I'm disappointed she didn't give me any proper closure to
our weird situationship thing from k uh Yet. You know it's a bummer. It's a bummer when like if you go on a date with someone and you have an awesome time and then you get ghosted and you get you'll feel you get a little butt hurt. You're like, why didn't I get proper closure? And I think I I one of the greatest superpowers I think you can
develop is uh And it's hard. It's hard, But like, if you can give yourself closure and kinda take this evening and go to you, if you can just get give yourself closure and just take this evening for what it is, right, I mean, that's like a microcosm for all of life. All of life is just fucking you know, anytime you get a anytime anything good happens to you, you have a good day, you have a good fucking minute, you have a sip of water. Yeez. Every life is
really about taking whatever you can get. And so if you got to have a fun now, if you got to make out with a hot lady in a hot tub while she shows you her fucking a stream den under the full moon, like you got to have that night. You know, a lot many people don't even get to have the one good night. Most people have not had a good night in their lives. Their lives have just been toiling in dirt for forever. That's most of all of life for most people has been rolling around in
dirt and starving to death. So you're either fact that you got even one night or you made out with a hot lady in a hot tub. I mean, pretty good, pretty good. Is it a bummer that it didn't work out into anything else? For Yeah, for sure, it's a bummer.
And you know, I like, take a second to grieve it, be like, take a second, take a second to be pissed off and upset, and then yeah, move on and go all right, Well, I got to do one of the craziest things I've ever done, and I'm just gonna take that for what it is, and I'm gonna be confident optimistic that, you know, my life will continue to have interesting and cool things happen in it, even if it is not as a result of a continuation of this.
That's cool and whatever. I don't know, if you miss her, you can watch her stream. I mean, as you probably don't do that. It's not healthy. But okay, let's see here. All right. This is from Hugh subject line PSA for the uncircumcised. Okay, I'm Jewish, so this does not apply to me. Hello, ghek, I am uncircumcised, and I found out at the age of eighteen that you were supposed to clean under the foreskin. My dad is circumcised and never taught me how to clean it properly. It'd be
a little weird. I don't before I continue in this email, just so you know, there's I don't like. You only have right, You only have your own life experience to draw from, and you only have your own perspective. But just so you know, it's most people have not had a moment where their dad knocks on the door and comes into the room and goes, hey, let me show you how to clean your penis. So you're you're okay, okay. My dad never taught me how to clean up properly,
so I didn't know you had to. If anyone listening is in the same boat, you are supposed to be able to pull the foreskin all the way back over the head and clean it. I again, I'm I'm I'm sirked. So I can't relate to any of this. I remember when I first started watching porn, like I thought, I thought all penises were like mine. And then when I first started watching porn and I saw a guy's dick like engulfed by foreskin, I was like, what the fuck
is wrong with this guy's dick. The crazy thing though, that when I did pull it back for the first time, I had no smegma and I haven't had any smegma since then either. I think my dick learned to clean itself because I never cleaned it. Yeah, that's probably what happens. Uh, that's it. Love you, I love you too. PS. I was the incest guy from your Melbourne show. Okay, I know, I know who you are. I know what that is. Uh PPPs I think your face should be painted red. Okay,
all right, let's move on. Let's see here. Oh uh this is from Henry. Oh now, let's give that one. All right? This was this? This is from Jeremiah. Subject line Jeremiah hey Gek. My father was a pastor. We grew up in a strict Christian household. We loved God and we used to do mission trips to Mexico. While I was there, I helped build four houses and one cinderblock wall for an orphanage in New Mexico for those
in need. That's pretty sweet. The first time I went on a trip which we would drive thirty six hours from Canada to Warez in a van. Holy shit, Hold, I gotta let me give you a second map that out. You fucking drove from Canada to Mexico. Let me see where's where's Warez on the map? I gotta look at that, seeodad Warez. Okay, it's like near El Pass. Okay, it's like right on the border of Yeah. Damn, that's crazy, man, that's crazy. Yeah. See you daed Warez is like right,
It's like l Paso, right on the border. U. Okay. My first time I went on a trip, we drove thirty six hours from Canada ware As in a van. I was nine years old. My father got cancer when I was thirteen and passed away when I was fourteen. I turned away from my faith, started partying recklessly and experimenting with drugs. I got into a lot of trouble. I also began making music beatboxing uncontrollably. That's a very
funny way to describe that. I became a self proclaimed pioneer for beatboxing in Western Canada, performing all over British Columbia and Alberta. I learned how to beatbox from a Mexican boy named Domingo, son of the manager at the orphanage that we built the houses at, when I was eleven and he was thirteen. I still perform gigs, but not as often. I am thirty two now and still dealing with the grief eighteen years later. To anyone struggling out there, there was always hope and I love you all.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for sharing that, Jeremiah. That's really cool, man. Yeah, this is one of those I like the I By the way, I know people keep saying everyone put your phone number in there so you can call the person, and I'm like, no, I don't. I prefer these episodes to just be me reading emails. But yeah, this is one of the If you, Jeremiah, if you can hear this, try to call me on one of the days that I'm streaming, because I want to. I want to hear
more about your story. I want to know more about beatboxing. This is cool. This is a cool story. Thanks for sharing, Jeremiah. This is from Heather. Subject line, I turned my best friend into a frog. Okay, hello Ghek. Thank you for being one of the best parts of twenty twenty four. I got to see your live show in Portland earlier this year and had a amazing time. Thanks Heather. In January, I went to my first anime convention for my friend's
thirtieth birthday. I'm so glad I took the time off and went, because not only was it a blast, but my friend died suddenly five months ago of type one diabetes. We had been friends since high school, and nothing really prepares you for that news. I teach criminal justice, so
I'm familiar with death. One of the ongoing gags between me and my friend was that I'd always send him unhinged funeral ideas sky burials, turning my cremated remains into a trackable keychain, having a free themed memorials, not for it, having a furbie themed memorial site, etc. Unfortunately, he didn't give us many ideas for his funeral beyond Viking funeral, which is mostly illegal in the United States aside from one city in Colorado. Apparently. Okay, what is a Viking funeral? Well,
I'm gonna interrupt the zemo real quick in Google Viking funeral. Okay, Viking funerals involve the burial or cremation of the deceased, along with the sacrifice of items and people. Uh oh okay, they put okay. Basically, they just like fucking throw your
body in a river and throw it on fire. I think when his mom offered me and his other close friends some of his when my friend's mom offered me and his other close friends some of his ashes, I knew I had to do something off brand but still respectful. After hours of research, I found a website that had a frog necklace for cremate for cremaines. So that's what part of him was, turned into a jeweled frog with
a quote from one of our favorite animes. He knew I loved frogs and was a mutual weirdo, so he wouldn't be the least bit surprised. He was the ultimate nerd. He loved anime and cosplaying, played D and D, and streamed Persona five and other video games. To honor him, I will be taking his froggy remains to anime cons this upcoming year, and two concerts that he always dreamed of going to, My Chemical Romance and Ato. Death is crazy, but life is crazier. Take the time to be weird.
With your friends. Thanks for anything, Gek. Let me see is did she put a picture of the frog? Neflix? Oh she did. That's cute. Oh I like that. We got a little picture of the frog. That's really cute. Oh thanks for showing the story, Heather. This this is really really cute. I like this a lot. Yeah. I like the idea of unhinged funeral ideas. Yeah, I don't
know if I have one myself. I'm a little scott because you know, all right, so you know how I was just went on a whole fucking rant about how we die and our body gets put into stuff or whatever. Can you just where where do all the hot people live? Can you bury me? Like, like, if you could do me a favorite, bury me in the ground somewhere in in Scandinavia by just bury me in the in the dirt somewhere in Scandinavia. Not because I have any ties to it, but just because, like I I want to.
I think, like, Okay, if I get buried in the ground in Scandinavia, I'll like my body will like go into the food there or whatever, and then I'll be reborn to a Scandinavian family and I'll be like pall and blonde and have like a chisel jawline and shit. So I think that's like the optimal place to be buried if you know you want to you want to be hot in your next life. So that's that's what
I want, uh them that you guys to do to me. Well, not you guys, I don't whoever's listening to this is not gonna be the one in charge of this, but I mean, also don't do this, okay whatever. Thank thank you for sharing this, Heather. This was good. I liked this a lot. Okay, here we go. This is from Cedar, subject line gay Luigi fan fiction. Hi, Lyle, my name is Cedar, and we've actually met twice after both of
your Saint Louis live shows kick Ass. The first time I met you, you told me I reminded you of Roxis. I actually totally remember you. The second time, I had green hair and was dressed as punk rock punk rock Luigi with my spiky black and white crocs. I actually totally one hundred percent do remember you. After that second time we met, I told you that I almost texted in saying I write gay Luigi fan fiction. So I want to expand on that have you ever played Mario
and Luigi Superstar Saga. I have played Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga. I played that one, and I played Brothers in Time, where you play as baby Mario baby Luigi and Mario and Luigi. I really want to This is going to alienate people who don't give a fuck about video games, but I don't care. I really want to play. There's a new Mario and Luigi game. It's called Mario Luigi Brothership. I really want to play it, but it got like pretty shitty reviews, and so I don't like.
Like I'm very particular about my video games, I don't want to play a video game. Like video games you fucking invest like ten hours of your time into. I only want to play a game if it's good. So I don't know if anyone's listening to this and they played that game and it's good, let me know. Anyway, I'm gonna assume you have played it. And in that game, there is a character named Prince Peasley, and that is
who I ship Luigi with in my fan fiction. For those of you who are not chronically online, the worship is short for a relationship and in the fan fiction, universe. When you ship two people, it means that you are literarily forcing them to be in a relationship. I know this because when I was in eighth grade, I was friends with these girls who were really into writing one direction fan fiction, and I think they wrote something where I was gay with Zaane Malik. Okay, anyway, I don't
have anything else to say about that. Prince Peasley is one of the only characters in the Mario and Luigi series to acknowledge Luigi and dismiss Mario, calling him mister Red Mustache while referring to Luigi by his actual name. He is always flexing trying to impress Luigi, and Luigi is blushing the entire time they interact. I think it's gay and cute as hell. That's pretty much it. You may also remember when we last spoke, I had a partner who dressed as a mushroom with me. Okay, I
don't remember that. I dumped him this year because it wasn't treating me well. And now I'm very happy in life. Great to hear, I am enjoying my alone time and pouring my love into fan fictions that make people smile instead of men that make me cry. Well, that's nice. That's nice. Okay. PS. I think Luigi x Daisy is a bit of a forced ship, meant to give Luigi a princess peach because Mario always had her as a
love interest. I feel like Luigi and Daisy would date, break up amicably, and become bisexual besties who hype each other up in life. You know, maybe Shagiro Miamoto is that. Maybe that's what he thinks too. I don't know. Yeah, you can do whatever you want. I'm pretty sure Luigi is in the public domain, so you can make him gay with Mickey Mouse or whoever you want. Okay, all right, let's look here. This is from Diego, subject line trail
running adventures and pooping complications. Over the past year, I've got into trail running, and your podcast has been a formidable companion, helping me escape the thought that a serial killer or a bear is chasing me. I hope that my podcast doesn't help you escape that thought in the event that one of those two things actually is happening. But anyway, thanks to you, I have an easier time enjoying my runs instead of constantly looking over my shoulder
and being very paranoid. Why I'm concerned that you're always paranoid that a bear or a serial killer is chasing you every time you're in the woods. But you know, teach their own anyway. Trail running has introduced a new challenge. I often face a choice between shitting my pants or pooping on the trail. My decision is clear, and honestly, I've been getting pretty good at it, and I just felt you should know. What the fuck? That's the whole email? What are you getting good at? What this how? I'm
so mad that that's the whole email. This email leaves it ambiguous as to whether you what's the What is the clear decision? Is the clear decision to shit your pants or poop in the trail. I'm gonna assume that the clear decision is to poop in the trail. And I don't know what getting good at it means. I guess maybe that means that you've just been good at finding the right leaves. Yeah, I get. Here's the thing.
If you have, like h if you are a carry and a backpack, right, and you got some toilet paper and some hand sanitizer, you're you're in business. You can shit anywhere you want, Okay, well cool, I'm glad that I'm glad. I'm glad that you learned new skill. Diego, good for you. Okay, this is from Jude, subject line the shredded carrot incident. Hi, GEK, call me bug. I'll skip the how much I love the podcast paragraph and
get straight into it the story. You didn't really skip it, you kind of if you had taken out this line, you would have skipped it. But that's okay. I only thought for about two seconds before deciding what to write, and my first thought was this, Okay, that's not getting straight into it. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm being a dick about this, but I'm just I don't know why I'm being a dick about this. I'm alone in a room right now reading these emails, and so
there's no other human beings. It's like when I do the phone call podcast, there's another human being on the line who I think can give me feedback as to whether or not I'm being a dick. But here it's
just I'm just stream of consciousness. My thought, my stream of consciousness, honest to god, thought, is that it bothers me that this person like to say saying I'm gonna get straight into it is paradoxical because you can't say I'm just going to get straight into it, because getting straight into it would require the omission of you saying let's get straight into it, and then saying that you thought about what you were going to get into and
then writing that is not getting straight into about None of this about way, none of this matters. I'm just
I'm just having a lot of fun doing this. I'm just having a lot of fun ranting about how much and by the way, what I'm doing right now, I'm the fact that I'm taking all this time, the fact that this is what caught my attention, the declaration that you're going to get straight into it, while not getting straight into it, is causing me to also do the exact opposite of getting straight into it, because we haven't
even started reading this email. We've just we haven't even gotten pasted whether or not we're going to get straight into it. So let's get straight into it. Uh. For some background, I'm from the UK, and at the time of the incident, I must have been around eight or nine years old. So we're on a beautiful island in the Maldives, staying at a five star hotel as a family. One morning, we head down to the buffet style breakfast to start the day. After grabbing an omelet, I noticed
one of the waiters grating some cheese. Naturally, I walked over and asked him to sprinkle some on top of my eggs before starting. He said, tell me when to stop. After a few seconds, there was enough, so I said that's okay, and he smiled but kept grating. So I said that's okay again, a bit louder this time, and with a big grin on his face, he continued. I stood there watching as what felt like an eternity passed while the pile on my plate grew higher and higher.
Finally he stopped. I walked back to my table, feeling slightly confused, and as I sat down, my dad and brother burst it out, laughing, and they pointed out that it wasn't cheese at all, it was a shredded carrot. Embarrassed, I tried to eat it, but I couldn't, and to this day, I still can't stand shredded carrot. Maybe he was a language barrier, or maybe the waiter just really wanted me to eat a carrot. Love what you do, and I hope to see you next time you do
a gig in the UK. I'm twenty five, and I wonder if you had a similar experience growing up, something that embarrassed you as a kid but stayed with you into adulthood. Fuck, I'm on the spot now, I'm sure I do. Okay, I'm gonna think about that and if something comes to me, I'll I'll circle back to this. But no, I've never done anything embarrassing as a kid. That's not true, all right, Yeah, sure. I remember when my parents got divorced and my dad moved out into
a townhouse. I would spend like we had like a custody thing where like I would spend like every other weekend and like every Tuesday or Thursday at my dad's
house or whatever. And one night I'm like, I don't know how I am even I'm like ten, and my asshole starts to really itch, really bad, and my dad has this like carpet on in the townhouse, and for some reason, I don't like I don't know why I didn't just use toilet paper, but for some reason to like scratch my asshole, I just like wiped my ass on the carpet, like I like a dog, Like I just like got naked and like I was. This wasn't even just like in my room. This was like in
the carpeted hallway of his house. I just put my ass on the floor and like dragged it around to scratch it. Felt it. By the way. By the way, it stays with me, not as much because it was embarrassing, but mainly because it was just fucking amazing. I might after I'm done recording this, I might go do that right now on the on on the floor of of this hotel. I might do that right now. I'll pay the fine whatever they like. Yeah, I'm whatever the fine is,
I'll pay it right Yeah. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, yeah, that was that felt really good. If you're listening to this and you have a carpet, I really recommend you wipe your asshole on it. Like I'm being one hundred percent serious. You should. If you have a if you wherever you like, wherever you are right now when you're listening to this, look down. If you see a carpet, you should get naked and wipe your
asshole on it and thank me later. Uh yeah, And then my dad, but I usually I just left the I didn't like clean it. I just fucking left it. So my dad comes out and he sees that there's a bunch of just diere shit on his car, and yeah, and he yells at me and he's like, what the fuck are you doing? So yeah, that was that was embarrassing, but mainly it just felt really good. Uh, okay, let's keep going, all right. This is from John. Subject line, I don't know how to use my laptop for anything
other than porn. Good day, mister Gek. I hope you are enjoying the first week of the new year. The problem I have that I would like to discuss today is exactly as the subject line portrays. I practically only use my laptop exclusively to watch porn on the Internet. I do, of course, know how to surf the web and use Google and whatnot, but ninety nine percent of that activity is conducted from my smartphone. When it comes to my laptop, porn Hub, Chatterbait, and the works are
among my most frequently visited pages. There are plenty of things that I would like to learn how to do, and there are lots of more productive things that I would like to utilize my laptop four aside from watching porn. For example, I am an aspiring novelist and it is a dream of mine to one day publish a graphic novel. I would also like to get into becoming a video game streamer, and I have ideas for my own podcast
that I would like to put into fruition. However, I feel as though there's a block preventing me from pursuing these endeavors. I am pretty badly technologically inept, and whenever I attempt to start a project or teach myself something new, I am thwarted by some sort of issue that needs troubleshooting. I become easily frustrated in trying to figure it out.
I give up, and I don't touch the project again for a long period of time until it randomly pops back into my head and I reattempt and review the project process. Now, this is coming from like a big
This guy says he's a big porn guy. And you know what's funny is like if I put the effort, like like if you're a porn person, you know, like if you know the effort that we're all familiar with the effort that one may put in to find the name of a person in a porn video, like you're on You're on like the fourth fucking page of Google, trying to find this person's name, trying to find more videos with them, and like if there's a video that you want to download, you know, you know, you're downloading
fucking you're on like mega upload whatever the fuck dot com. Like you're your your your sexual your lust is propelling you to get this detective work done. So I'm gonna assume you're familiar with with that, John, I'm gonna assume you have that, so I maybe maybe consider I don't know how you do this, but maybe just consider figuring out how to like harness that energy and push it towards figuring out how to write a novel, you know
what I mean. M So that's what That's what I would say, John, That's what I would say is take take the energy. Like notice, notice when you're able to get things done, uh, when they involve you being able to find find the porn videos you want to find, and figure out how to transmute that energy into into not jerking off stuff. All right, all right, this is from Onyx subject line I am a depressed drag queen. Hey GEK, longtime listener and avid fan. I'll just get
down to it. Okay, I'm not gonna go back. I'm not gonna go on this rant again, but about getting straight into it. Okay, all right. Sorry, I'm a horrible writer, so bear with me here. Like the title said, as I'm a professional drag queen with ten years of experience. I've been fortunate enough to be quite a successful drag queen at that I performed all over the country and was on a drag competition television show. Oh very cool. I unfortunately fell victim to the gods of reality TV
and did not place very well on the show. This crushed me. I know I'm an amazing artist and I am fortunate enough to make a decent living doing it, but this does not change the fact that this show mentally destroyed me. It's hard because the show has given me a platform, but it also did me dirty in many ways. Long story shirt, long story short. It became apparent that I was casted as an early out, and well I was. I spent thirteen thousand dollars on costumes
that never aired. I can't emotionally move past this show. I feel like I fucked up my big break. I know thousands of drag artists that would kill to have this opportunity, but I can't move on from what it has done to me mentally. Oh my god, on it. I have so much to say about this, you know, first of all, just I mean, look, you're the fact
that you're doing drag for a living. I'm going to assume that you have some kind of social media presence, right the world we live in, just so, just so people, it's so crazy to me that people haven't like fully, fully fully caught on and understood just how little gatekeepers there are in the like arts entertainment industries. Right, so, like, you know, it used to be like whatever in the
fucking like nineties or eighties or whatever. It's like there's a fucking guy at a desk and the guide decides whether or not you have a career. Right, That's how it used to be. But now we have the Internet and you can take those like, dude, those fucking you spent thirteen thousand dollars on costumes that never aired, fucking make your own videos with the costumes, like fuck this TV show? Who cares you have the costumes. Watn't you make your own fucking tiktoks and Instagram reels and then
YouTube videos with this shit? I hate TV, also saying I can't emotionally move past this. I feel like I fucked up my big break. No, you didn't fuck up your big break. You're big. They're also sorry. I'm I'm um, I'm stuttering, but uh listen, Onyx. Just keep doing the work. Clearly you enjoy doing it. Clearly you probably have. I don't you know. I don't have a lot of information about who you are, how you make your living, but I'm gonna assume that you have a social media presence.
If you are are making a decent living doing this, just keep doing the work. Literally, just keep fucking doing your your stuff and keep fucking making videos of it and putting it on the internet. And you're good. Also, if you're doing it for a living like you, you don't have, there is no what do you mean, big break? You've broke. If you're doing something that you really like doing and you're doing it for a living and you're getting to do it, you've broke. You know you've broke.
So I would I would move on from this stupid TV show would never if I I would just never think about it again and I would go, well, that was kind of dumb, and then just keep doing your fucking drag. Man, Yeah, I think it. I think it's super silly to let this this a TV show get
to you, So just keep doing the work. I remember when I was eighteen years old, there was a video of me doing stand up comedy that like went to the front page of Reddit, and like I got like this like fucking manager person reached out to me and I was having a conversation with him, and I was like, oh shit, this is like my big break. Like I'm gonna be like a young, hot shot stand up comedian. I'm gonna get to like get on Comedy Central and
do all this stuff. And then nothing really happened with it, and I went to college, and like the first like about a year, the kind of the year following my like viral stand up video, I felt really very similarly. I was like, oh man, I fucked up my big break. I was like so genuine I was so regretful that I didn't capitalize on this opportunity that I had with
this stand up video going viral, and you know. Cut to four years later, I just keep making stuff and I'm fucking around and I get in my gecko suit and all of a sudden, I'm on the front page of Reddit again. And I learned. I learned from that experience and I capitalized on it. And now now I'm reading your email, and you know, I don't know, and honestly, I don't know. I guess while I'm talking about myself.
It's like this whole like I think one of the things I've learned, and I think I've talked about this on the show before, but one of the things I've learned over the course of like my little gecko career and kind of life career in general, is that, like, you know, if as long as you're able to make a living, as you're telling me that you're doing, and as I've been lucky enough to do, as long as you're making a living, like once you once you start making enough money that like you can pay your rent
and you know, eat food and not have to worry about, you know, getting a burrito at Chipotle, and you know, your friends invite you to go see a movie, you go see a movie. As long as you have it, like it's just enough money. You just fucking live life.
Everything beyond that is like, who gives a shit? Like you fucked up your big break to do what you know, If you make enough money and you're doing what you love and you're enjoying the actual creative work that you're doing and you have enough of people who can appreciate it, that it's satis fighting to you. That's it. You've broke. Just enjoy fucking life and enjoy doing your work. Just get obsessed with your work. You know, who fuck I gives a shit about this TV show? You know, so
keep going onyx on Dix. Maybe let me google maybe google this, let me google this. Maybe this is your drag thing. Oh yeah it is. There we go, Oh, there we go. Pretty cool? Pretty cool. Oh I don't know if you didn't want to be doxed, but pretty cool, pretty cool. You know, I'm I'm gonna you know what, you're a You're a uh, you're an Internet personality. You like, I'm gonna, i'll, i'll I think maybe some people will, maybe some people will want to follow your ship. So yeah,
onyx on Dix, go follow onyx on Dix. Okay, all right, uh, let's see how much all R. Yeah, let's keep going. Let's keep taking a few more emails, subject line I'm scared to fuck things up? Goodmorrow? GEK, what does that mean? Goodmorrow? I'm googling that. Hold on all right, interrupting me email to google? What goodmorrow means? Does that mean good tomorrow? Hold on goodmorrow? Uh? Ifmorrow means what is good? Okaymorrow is the current day? Oh? Holy shit? Whoa do you
guys know? Whoa? Okay, whoa? This is crazy? All right? Somorrow means the current day, so tomorrow is the next day. And then get this ship. I've never seen this word in my life. Do you guys know that? Overmorrow is the day after the next day? So overmorrow is tomorrow times two? Is that a real I've never heard that in my life. Yeah, over holy shit. Overmorrow is an archaic word that means the day after tomorrow, and it is not commonly used in modern English. Folks. Okay, okay.
Listeners of the Therapy Geico podcast, we are bringing back overmorrow. I challenge you to you to just start using the word anytime you want to say, like if, like, okay, what today is? Where I am and recording this it's Friday, and this episode will come out overmorrow, so on Sunday. But instead of saying Sunday, I'm gonna just say overmorrow. Okay. Everyone tried to all right, we're gonna, We're gonna all right, Therapy Gecko podcast listener petition to bring back Overmorrow. All
right anyway, Goodmorrow, gak you can call me Fenton. Recently, I started talking to a girl again who I had a talking stage with back in June. We ended up stopping talking because she said I smoked weed too much, and at the time I was basically like, ah, well, me a real bad man and I'm gonna keep blazing the ganja. Okay. Over that summer I did a lot of acid. I'm pretty sure it wasn't acid and was in fact some other chemical, but oh well, I survived. Okay.
What's the thing? This acid made me realize that this girl is really special because she's the only girl I know who likes the band Madness and music taste is really important to me. How old is it, I'm gonna are you sixteen? Anyway? I cut down on weed and nick and alcohol because of her, and started working out pretty okay, pretty good, pretty good, Henry. Pretty good. Cut to the start of December, and we catch each other's
eye in the hallway of my college. All right, you're like twenty like or like nineteen like two or three times. We have been talking every day since the seventeenth of November, and I'm worried that this whole thing is built on a lie because the only reason I improved myself was because of acid. Thank you, ghak, I love you and all that you do. Okay, let me I need to I need to understand how this person's brain works before
I continue responding to this email. Okay, I'm worried. Okay, So the acid made you realize that the girl was Okay, Okay, you say that the acid. Okay, you say the only reason you started improving yourself was because of acid. But you're saying the acid made you realize the girl is special, and so you started improving yourself to be with this girl, and the whole thing is built on a lie. I I listen, Henry, I hate everything you wrote in this email, no offense, but I'm gonna just say this to you.
Just keep improving, bro, improve yourself because it's good. Just like I'm assuming that cutting down on weed and nicotine and alcohol and working out has made you feel good and that you're enjoying it. So Henry, listen, don't don't be a why. And also you didn't really include in this email why you're afraid to fuck things up, Henry. I want to make things really simple for you. Take stock of your life of what is improving it, what you wish was different. Things you want to start doing,
things you want to stop doing. And it sounds like you've done this already because you're cutting down on drugs and you're working out and you're improving, and that's great. And then when it comes to this girl, right, if you like her, you know, fucking do things for her that you think will make your presence and her life better for her. Okay, continue to take stock of whether or not this girl's presence in your life is good for you, and keep it fucking simple. Those three things
I think I said three things. Yeah, keep stock of the things you want to do to improve your life and do them. You know, make sure that you're being valuable to this woman's life if you really like her, and make sure that this woman is valuable to your life and that you're not just doing things because you fucking don't want to, you know, be alone and jack off like that, like the guy with the laptop thing, which isn't It's not that bad jerking off, It's fun. Sorry,
all right? Uh, let's take one. Let's take one more email. Let's read another email somewhere, all right. This is from Jesse, subject line I am in love with my step aunt. Hello, Geko. My name is Jesse, and I live in the great state known as Miami, Florida. About five years ago, my then single mother met a man, her future husband, in a bar. This man is now my stepfather. I've met his side of the family quite a few times, and
I feel fairly comfortable with them. My stepdad has a sister who is eighteen as am I. At first I didn't feel much, but as the years have gone on, I've developed a deep admiration and attraction to her as a person. We're basically just friends that happened to have these labels laid upon us. I truly have no idea if she feels the same way or not. I'm telling her how I feel could go really well or really badly.
If she was simply just a friend that I had, I probably would have confessed my feelings to her by now, but since she's technically my step aunt, I've refused the idea because of how badly the consequences could be among our families. I don't think my attraction to her is weird or bad because we're not biologically related at all. But I've tried time and time again to forget it. But I genuinely feel love for her, and I've grown
to accept it. This is a lot. I don't expect a clear cut solution to my problem, but I thought it'd be nice to hear your solutions on, to hear your thoughts on my situation. Love your gecko. Yeah, you know this is interesting. You know actually I can really tell, Jesse, by the way that you wrote this email that you have a pretty mature thought process around this. I think you've really thought about it. Yeah, I don't think your attraction to her is weird or bad because you're not
biologically related. And I mean, shit, I don't know. You guys aren't bodling. You guys aren't really bought. Is it is it weird if they start dating? I don't is it is it weird if they start dating? Maybe it's weird if they start dating, just because like if you're if your stepdad and your mom break up, then yeah, but uh, your step how old your stepdad that he has a eighteen year old sister and he's dating your mom. I'm very I am very curious how old your mom
and how old your stepdad is. But anyway you feel like it'll complicate the families, I mean, I you know what, look whatever, I here's the thing. I don't think it's that weird if you tell this girl how you feel. I really don't really, I don't think it's that weird. And is it going to complicate things with the family. Not really. You seem like a mature person, Jesse, just but I don't know. Just the way you wrote this email, I think, uh, you know, saying I feel love for her,
ab I've grown to accept it. I think what would make I think if you really, like your gut is telling you to like have a conversation with this girl about it not necessary, not necessarily be like, I'm in love with you and we need to you know, I know that it's weird that you're my step on and whatever the fuck, but like let's get married. Just you know, I think something. I think your gut seems like it's telling you to just bring it out into the open
and have a conversation with it. And what would make it weird is if you were weird about it and you didn't accept whatever the results of that conversation were. But I don't. I'm not getting that vibe from you. So you know, look, if I were you and you really kind of had this stirring in your gut and you wanted to get it out in the open, I wouldn't.
I don't think it would be the worst thing in the world to have a conversation with this girl and bring your admiration and attraction to her in the open and see how it's received and if it's not a mutual thing, or if it just proves to be too complicated for you. Guys, you know you can accept that outcome, and I think think that, I think you'll be okay. Yeah, okay.
I finally know who they're making all the stepsister porn for it's it's several of the people who have emailed in today are the reason why they make so much so much stepsister porn. I don't know what's the chat say, Chat says he should keep this to himself. Uh, this Chat says it'll complicate it. Okay, Chat does not agree with me, but whatever, I don't know, give it a shot. Life life is short. Uh, life is short. Tell your step on that you love her. All right. That's it.
That's the podcast that was gak mail. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I hope that you had a good time. I had a good time. I enjoyed taking these emails. We're at the end of the here's okay, you know what the thing is. We're at the end of this episode. So if you were I'm gonna do this is the end period. Okay, So everything I say after this, I'm normally when I'm doing this podcast, I'm like, Okay, I
want it to like be of good quality. I want to make sure that the things that I'm saying are like worth I want to make sure that this podcast is worth listening to. But at this point, it's the end. You know, we've already done like at least an hour of a podcast that I've like, for the past hour of podcasting, I've had a thing in my brain that's been like, Okay, let me make sure that this is listened to a bull. But now that we've gotten an hour of what I've considered listened to a bull, I'm
throwing all out the window. This part of the podcast can just be shit. This can just be me ranting in circles. And I don't feel bad because we already did an hour of competent I guess, in my opinion, competent podcasting. So now I'm just gonna rant. And if you and you don't have to be here, you can move on to the next episode or go to the previous episode. If this isn't working for you, if you're just like, oh, this is just literally just ranting with
the zero substance. But I'm just challenging. I'm genuinely just challenging myself right now. It's not stop talking for as long as I can. I for no reason, there's no reason for me to be doing this, Okay, send an email to therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com. That's therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com. Uh, and you can follow me on Twitch dot tv slash Lyle forever. But you can follow me on Instagram at Lyle the number four ever if you wanna, you know, keep up
to date. On when I'm streaming and when you can call in. What else I just want? I don't. I'm I drank. I drank an energy drink before this. I wish I typically tend to do, so I guess I'll just keep ranting for a little bit, or I won't. Like I said, I feel like I delivered the I delivered the hour of competent podcasting that I set out to deliver, and the rest can just be dog shit because it's all extra. It's just bonus. It's literally this
is honestly. I don't if you're still listening at this point, right now, this is the end, Okay, if you're still listening at this point, I I don't really know why. There's not gonna be I'm not gonna say anything else of substance. From the very moment until the end of the episode, there will be nothing else of substance. There's just gonna be me ranting and seeing how much longer I can keep talking for. And I'm feeling a little tired. So it's I think I think I'm gonna stop talking.
I think I'm gonna stop talking in a second. But before I stop talking, I'm gonna talk a little bit more like I'm doing right now, and I think that now that I've now that I don't really want to keep talking, I'm gonna stop talking and end the episode right now. So thanks for listening, and praise our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. Okay, thank you again, goes on the line, taking your phone calls every nine. Everything again goes and I was teaching you loud and mean to
be line. But he's not really an expert.