GECKMAIL: “I’M CASTING A SPELL ON MY NEIGHBOR”

good time. So we're definitely gonna make this again. I don't know if it's a weekly thing, but it's definitely gonna be a thing. It's definitely gonna be a thing. I only I got sent like eighty something emails and I only read like twenty of them. So today I'm just going to read more for like an hour slash until I get bored and don't want to do it anymore. But first I'm experimenting with some other I want to

talk about a couple things from my week. One thing I really want to talk about is a magical thing that happened as a result of doing this Viewer Male episode. So last week, I spoke about how I have this weird thing where I look myself up on Reddit a lot. It's a bad habit. I hate it. It's not productive, it's indulgent. I don't like it. It's bad thing to do,

but I do it. And I told the story about how one time I was looking myself up on Reddit and I found this post from this lady who like posted in my subreddit being like I met the Gecko in Austin after his show and I told him it was my birthday and he didn't say happy birthday, and now I don't like him anymore. And she wrote this like big, like essay, long rant about how like she about how Piste off at me she was. And in last week's episode, I talked about that and I said

I kind of was. I was like, I read that, and I was like, well, you know, fuck this person. I was mad, and I expressed that I was mad at this person for writing this thing on Reddit even though it didn't really matter and anyway, so I talked about that in the episode, and then I was listening to the episode like the next day before I posted it, and I was listening back to me telling this story

that I'm realizing how it's saying this all is. But I'm listening back to the story of me talking about this lady's Reddit post and expressing that I pissed me off, and I was like, I don't know if I should keep this part in. I don't know if I should keep this part in because like, if she's hears it and then she makes another thing, she just gets pissed off. And I was gonna take it out. I was about to take it out, and then I said to myself,

you know what, No, I'm keeping it in. This is I'm trying to authentically express my feelings more on this thing, because you know, if I'm not, then I guess what's the point. And so I was like, you know what, No, I'm leaving it in. I don't think I was that mean to this person. I left it. When I was talking. I was like, you know, we're cool. Me and this reddit lady are cool. If she ever, you know, whatever, she hears this, we're cool. I said that. So I'm like, Okay,

I'm just gonna leave it in. I post the episode, I get a comment on YouTube on the episode, I get a comment, and this is what the comment says hold on, let me pull this up. Let me pull this up real quick. I should have had this just ready to go, but hold on. Okay, sorry, uh reading room. Okay, here it is. I get a comment and the comments I'm gonna just read this verbatim. This comment says lmfao hi. This is this is I'm reading this verbatim. It says

lmfao Hi. I was the bitch who complained about the birthday thing. I was just super excited to meet you and go on stage. But let me just say, I'm so sorry for being extra about that. I actually had a great time at the show despite that. LMAO. Love you Lyle. When I tell you, I was so happy to read that comment. Shout out this Reddit lady. Shout out a this lady who left this comment. I wrote back, I said, I said, thank you for apologizing. I really

do appreciate it. Happy late birthday. It's so First of all, if this lady's listening again, thank you for leaving that comment.

That really made me. I really appreciate it, and it was interesting to me because sometimes like it's just so rare, because we all have like weird social interactions that we like regret or feel weird about either because like we were being an asshole or someone was being an asshole to us or whatever whatever it was, and and you kind of just a lot of these things you just don't get closure on and you just have to kind of internally resolve. And so it's kind of a nice

healing thing. That is totally rare to read this comment and have this girl be like, I'm sorry. I don't know why I was upset about this. I liked the show and I appreciate you, and I got to be like, oh, I thank you. I'm not mad. I appreciate you saying that happy fucking birthday, you know. So, I don't know, that was just a cool thing. I don't There's got to be something to be gleaned from this about life.

Maybe it's that, Oh I don't know, but I just really appreciated that interaction, and maybe maybe there's something to be gleamed about. I don't know. I don't know what. I don't want to I want to take view or mail. I don't want to sit here and think about what's to be gleamed of that. But I just wanted to share that I thought that was cool. Anyway, I have one other thing to share. I wrote down two things I wanted to share. This is random from my week

I was. I was like, just fuck it. I was in my apartment just being like stressed and annoyed and upset, as is sometimes my like default state and rand you ever, like randomly remember something and start googling about it. I randomly remembered this news story that I heard back in twenty like five years ago, back in twenty nineteen, about this dude. His name is Kendrick Norton Junior. You can look this guy up, Kendrick Norton Junior. This is a guy.

This is an old news story. This is you know how some people have like podcasts where they talk about current events. I'm gonna do the same thing, but I'm only gonna talk about things that happened at minimum five years ago. I'm gonna do the slow poke current events podcast. Anyway, there was this guy. I just randomly remember this new story, guy, Kendrick Norton Junior. He was a football player twenty two

years old. He got like drafted to the Miami Dolphins, and uh, I don't know exactly if he got to play, but if maybe he played like one game. I don't know the exact thing of it. But he gets drafted to the Miami Dolphins. Huge, you know, set to make a bunch of money, set to have an amazing career, set to be on the national stage playing for his city. The dream, the dream. He gets into a car accident

and he fucking loses his entire right arm. I remember I remembered hearing about this five years ago and just being like, that fucking sucks. That's all. I just remember. I don't know why. I just remembered this guy, and I remembered hearing about him because he was all over the news, like when it happened, and I was like, what's this. I was just like I want it. What's this guy? I just randomly remember this. I'm like, what's

this guy up to? So I googled him. I found his instagram and uh, I was looking at his Instagram and I saw a post from like a month ago or something like that, and he's standing there with no arm,

huge smile on his face. He like started a career in real estate, and he in his comments he's talking about like, uh, you know, you gotta live life positively, and you know, there's all these pictures on his Instagram of like you know, him with uh with with friends and him doing stuff and being around and it's just he just seemed happy and I was like, it made it really made me think about all the you know, things that I'm afraid of in my life and things

that stressed me out. And I'm like, god, damn, dude, this guy lost his whole fucking arm. Not only did he lose his whole fucking arm, he lost like his dream job. And he's happy and he's living his life and he's not letting it, you know, destroy him. It didn't let it. He didn't let it destroy him. He lost his whole fucking arm. And I don't know. I just I saw that and I was I was very inspired by this guy and me think about my own life. Let me look at let me look at it at

this again. Just to this. I'm I'm this is my podcast. Now, this is what I'm doing. I'm reading viewer mail and talking about things that I'm thinking about. Is fun. Okay, what's yeh? What's this guy doing on Instagram? Yeah, dude, he's got a real estate company, He's got fucking he's got a cool shirt he's doing well. I don't know. I just I'm inspired by this guy. I just want to share that. Okay, let's look at some of these emails. All right, let's see here. Uh, okay, this is from

This is from Finn. The subject is cross faded Halloween Party. Oh okay, this is way too long. I'm not going to read this. Uh, folks, just if you're ever gonna for the future, for the ref for reference, just for reference. Uh. If you send me an email, if it's more than like two paragraphs, I'm probably not gonna read it. So if I'm going to keep doing more of these, and if you want me to read your email, just keep it to like, you know, a couple paragraphs and that'll

be more likely to read it. Okay, anyway, let's get into all right. This is from Noah. Subject viewer mail episode dash Noah. That's a good that's good. Okay. Hi. My name is Noah. I am twenty. My addiction to Pokemon cards got to the point where I could not pay rent anymore. I used my credit card to buy thousands of dollars in very cool Pokemon cards, thinking I would figure out how to pay rent later. I didn't. I sold a bunch of them to afford to have

a roof over my head. My girlfriend is furious, my parents are disappointed, and my cat just got her lady parts removed and the other cat was violently throwing up. So the vet bill was like two grand or some shit. Also, my cars transmission blue, so I have to walk to work now. I still have cool cards left, though. Here's my favorite. That's very funny. Hold on, let me he sent an attachment. Oh holy fuck, he's got a Charsar. Oh what the fuck? All right, these actually are some

pretty good cars. He's got a two thousand and two Charizard Ex and he's got a dark Charizard. I don't know. I don't know how much money either of those are. But anyway, he wrote, we actually spoke like six months ago about how your podcast helped me join the Pokemon card community. It has almost ruined my life. That's oh no,

I remember you? Noah, yeah, I literally yeah, I remember we talked on the podcast and you were like, I want to get more involved in my community, and I told you to join the Pokemon card Oh no, did I fuck? Did I fuck your life up? He? Okay, he wrote, not your fault, though, love you, Lyle. God damn man, I mean you're twenty. I don't you can. I mean, how much are you in debt? Look? If you blew all your money whatever, how are you in Let's see? Is he in debt? I use my credit

card to buy thousands of dollars? All right? Whatever? I don't know. I guess this is a situation where I love going Dave Ramsey on people. It's fun, it's fun to talk about this kind of stuff. But this guy, if you just like had some money and you blew it and now you're in debt, you're probably doing better than I mean, what, Okay, so the vet bill was two grand? What's the okay, he's twenty years old. Let's google this. What's the average net worth fridge net worth

of twenty year old? I think the average net worth is like negative. I think it's most people. Okay, it says here that's seventy five hundred dollars. I feel like that's not true. I feel like when you're like twenty, I think that most people in twenty who are like twenty years old are like in debt. So whatever, as long as you're not like if you lost all your you have all your life to you're only twenty, you have all your life to build your financial universe to

some degree. You know, I don't know you. Well, it looks like you didn't go to college, so you're actually in less debt. I just I'm gonna say you're with Pokemon cards and this vet bill. Let's assume you're in like ten thousand dollars of debt, but you didn't go to college. You're probably in like less debt than a lot of other twenty year olds. So you're gonna be fine, just like, don't just I guess this is something to learn from. Wait, I'm gonna read this email again and

see if it seems like he learned from it. My addiction to Pokemon card, I used my credit card, I sold them to uh he maybe he learned. As long as he learned from it, he'll be fine. Now, if you're listening to this, go on YouTube and listen to like fucking financial YouTube people and just try to get your shit together. If you don't go and buy more Pokemon cards, if you go and buy more Pokemon cards

after this, you're you're fucked. But if you use this as a learning experience, I think you're gonna be okay, I know. All right, let's move on, dear caffeinated gecko. This is from Patrick. By the way, I'm not on a sell I did drink a Celsius this morning. But oh wait, Noah's in the Hold on, hold on, hold on, Sorry, I'm looking at the chat. Noah's in the chat. Apparently I'm streaming live on Twitch right now. I am Noah, No you're in the chat. How much debt are you in? Noah,

what's your Are you in debt? All right? Well, he answers that question, and I'm gonna read this email to your caffeinated gecko. By the way, I'm I'm on about two hundred and ninety one milligrams right now. I had a mountain I do diet mountain dew, and I do Celsius. I do a Celsius in the morning and then a diet mountain dew before the stream. You know, if you're wondering if you wanted any health tips from me? All right, this is from Patrick. Hello, Celsius gecko, man, I am

wondering if you drink coffee. I'm not a huge coffee guy. I own a coffee roastery with my dad and I want to gift you a custom get Glicious coffee blend. If my mourning juices can touch your lips, I don't know how I feel about that one. I would be eternally grateful. Also, I love you. Thanks Patrick, Crazy Goku hair guy at your last Arizona show. Well, thanks Pat,

thanks for offering to send me stuff. I don't. I don't want to take any of your things, only because I appreciate your offer of them, but I don't want to take your things because I'm I'm not. If you send me coffee beans, I'm not going to use them. I'm just I don't want to take your coffee beans as a nicety and then let them decay in my

apartment until I eventually throw them away. That's what would realistically happen, Not because I don't think they're great coffee beans, but because I just so I'll use if you can say, if you send me a cureag even if you send me a cure a cup, I'm just not gonna use it. So I'm gonna decline your offer. But good, I hope good. Uh, that's cool that you own a coffee or astray. Keep keep doing your thing. Let me look at it. He's he's got a website. Oh he doesn't really. Oh wait,

there he is. Okay, No, he's a good guy. He's a good guy. All right, let's move on. This is from Caleb uh subject line one thousand plus calls from Boise, Hello, therapy, Gecko. I hope this email finds you well. As my subject line suggests, I have called you over a thousand times and have yet to hear back from you. This guy's also put he's putting an emoji after every sentence. He put a phone. He put a phone emoji after I

have called you over a thousand times. Anyway, the first night I ever tried, I called five hundred and four times in one night. The second time was only fifty. The next few equals one thousand. Okay. So I once I sent a reply to a live saying Okay, once I sent a reply on your live stream saying come to Boise, Idaho, and you said, quote, it's not a real place. I'm sure I did say that. That hurt my feelings, but I'm over it now. Jin know. I'm trying to think of what I mean when I say

that's not a real place. You know what I'm gonna you know what, Caleb, I sincerely, I mean this sincerely. I want to take that back. I'm in a better state of mind, I think, in this current moment than in the current moment in which I said that. And I want to take back saying that Boise, Idaho is is not a real place. It is a real place.

There's people living there who say stuff and eat things, and that's just and that's that's a microcosm of what's going on in every other place in the entire planet Earth. And I my true feeling is that every place is equally as real and not real, because every place is kind of the same, because every place is just people saying words and eating So I take back saying that Boise is not a real place. Okay, you said, I'm over it. Now I exist here, so it is real

to me. I do know if three venues you could go, oh, I'm not gonna do it. I don't I'm probably not gonna do a show there. I know of three venues you could go to if you ever want to discover that. Maybe you know what, I would you know what, I'm you know what, you know what? I'm sorry. I take that back. I can drive you around and show you the city. I'm an avid, I'm an avid explorer of the city. I take that back. I would do a show in Boise, Idaho. Why not? Why not? What venue?

Uh do you think a Caleb? By the way, what did you by the way? That's the end of his email. You called you, that was it? You called a thousand times, and there was another thing you wanted to All right, man, well I can drive you around and show you the city US. I'm just gonna use this as my own I'm gonna use these viewer mail podcasts as my own therapy session. I've been on these two. I just went on pretty much two back to back world tours, and I actually I love doing stuff like this. I really

like Caleb. If you Caleb, Okay, let me finish my thoughts. I feel like I do this. I have like a thousand thoughts once I tried to express them all. I've been on two back to back world tours, and I actually love doing stuff like this. Like like if I'm in a random place and I'm doing a show there and I meet some dude at a show and he's like, you want to get in my car and I'll drive you around Boise. I like doing shit like that. I've

done shit like that. I did like I was in Sydney, Australia, and this group of folks after the show were like, Hey, do you want to come to our house and jam with us? And I was like, yeah, that sounds cool. So I just went to these stranger's house and muttered nonsense into a microphone while they like played guitar. It was a good time. I'm trying to give other I went to the strip club with some people after a

show in Miami a few a few months ago. I liked I liked doing shit like this, So if I ever do, if I ever do, go to Boise, Idaho and we're hanging and I'm like packing all my shit up at the end of a show, and you say, hey, do you want to get in my car and I'll drive you to this mountain in the middle of Idaho. There's a I'm not gonna I don't like to promise things. I don't like to promise things. There's a non zero

chance I would get in that car with you. But like I said, I've been on two back to back world tours. I'm pretty tired. I don't know how much I'm gonna tour. It's gonna be a little bit before I get back on the road after I finish these Europe shows. But if I do, I'll if I do, I'll look in the Boisadaho. Anyway, I don't know that was too long of a rant. I'm sorry, thanks for your email, Caleb. Okay, okay, let's see here. This is from Kate. Uh sorry, this one is also a little

too long. Sorry, Kate. This all right, this is firm. I'm gonna start looking at the emails first before I read their names, because I know a few of these people. Here's the thing if I by the way, if you are listening to this and you think I said your name, by the way, there could be two Kates, maybe three. If you think I said your name, just send me the email again, but just keep it to two paragraphs because I'm gonna keep doing these anyway. This is from Dan.

Hey man, I just wanted to say I'd be all in for calling in and discussing the current situation of modern dating that come with the trials and tribulations social media brings to the table. Would be an absolute pleasure to shoot the shit with you. I watch your shit whenever I'm at home with a bottle of wine and soaking in the introspective, weird and wonder full conversations you're

blessed to experience all my love Dan. Oh, and I'm from the UK, so I guess that adds extra goodness to shooting the shit with you, because politics and violence is almost as fucked over here as it is in the US. Is that true. I don't know shit about UK politics, but if it's as fucked up as it is here, that's pretty wild. Yeah. I don't know what is dating like in the UK? What I don't Uh, yeah, that's I guess that's a phone call conversation to have.

But just social Someone says, Okay, let me talk about this. He says that the come okay, basically, you want to talk about how social media has affected dating. I think it's if he has pros and cons. I mean, people who would have never ever met each other have now met each other because of the Internet. It used to be for like all of I mean, think about this, for all of human fucking history before like twenty years ago. Think about it, all of human history compared to twenty

meager years. That's nothing. For pretty much all of human history. You just you had sex with whoever was next to you, and you married them, and that was it. It was whoever was next to you. It wasn't people are getting into relationships with folks across the planet from them. Okay, this is just whoever was next to you. It didn't matter if you guys got along. I mean, you probably did get along because you were probably very similar people because

you lived, you had the same exact influences. Maybe it was easier back Maybe it was easier back then. I'm trying to debate if it was easier or not. You could say it was easier because back then you just got with whoever was right next to you. But it was a pretty good shot that they were compatible with you because they had the same upbringing as you and the same cultural view of the world as you. Because

there was no internet, there was no anything. Maybe and that probably you know what, that probably made it a lot easier. I'd give it to that. But in like I don't know, the fifties or whatever, I felt, who knows. You just also kinda had your pick of the people who were around you. And maybe in that situation, maybe the people around you during that time is a possibility that they weren't as good for you as some lady three one thousand miles away that you are never ever, ever,

ever ever gonna meet without the Internet. But I also this is a paradox of choice, and social media gives you infinite options and maybe that's not good. I don't know, man, but you live in the UK. And also everyone you meet probably has a British accent, which is cool, all right? This from Jaden subject I'm having issues with my masculinity. Jaden says, Dude, my prostate is so fucked it's leaking green fluid and I don't know what to do about it. My partner this is a one run on sentence. There

is no periods in this. I don't know what to do about it. My partner keep saying I should go to a doctor, but it's too gross for me to even show them. Are you are you twelve? Dude? It looks like a greasy plane from Lord of the Rings swarmed with locusts. I think there's all right. I don't care about this. This from Jonah. Jonah says airplane sink or airplane urinal question mark question mark question mark in

all caps. You decide two exclamation points. Dearest Lyle, I've wanted to ask your opinion on this for literally years. Every time I fly, I opt to pee in the airplane sink instead of the toilet. Oh, thank god, we're getting into some real shit with these emails. This is awesome. Thank I this more of this, and thank you so much for sending you this, sending me this email. Jonah, I'm so excited to read the rest of this email. Every time I fly, I opt to pee in the

airplane sink instead of the toilet. I fully believe this is the best course of action when confronted with the airplane bathroom A I usually sit to pee, But three hours into a flight, the seat is already cut in p of the less considerate. This guy's complaining that that other people pee on the toilet seat, and so it's But dude, you're peeing where other people are washing their hands, he says. There, he says, three hours into a flight, the sea is already covered, The seat is already covered

in the pee of the less considerate. There is simply no way I'm opting to put my ass on that, bro Jonah. Okay, hold on before I'm gonna read the rest of this email. Listen, Jonah, we have all in public bathrooms, had to wipe the piss of another man off a toilet seat. And look, we have all in our days maybe accidentally pissed a little bit on the

toilet seat. This is what we call the circle of life. Okay, that's like, if you're peeing in a public bathroom, you might have to wipe another guy's piss off the toilet seat. Just just use multiple layers of toilet but don't use one layer of toilet paper so that your fingers is kind of the piss bleeds through and you get another guy's piss on your hands. Just layer it up, wipe the pee, and quit and quit fucking bitching. There is simply no way I'm gonna put my ass on that. Okay.

Then he says, not only is the seat covered most of the time, but so is the floor. I have sympathy for those who can't aim because of turbulence, but it's still nasty, he says. You know what solves both of these problems pissing in the receptacle which is high enough to properly what is this word ensconce you're Johnson preventing my pee from getting all over the cabin, even though the sink is the obvious. I feel guilt that I am so far ahead of the rest of society.

Please absolve me, great Gecko with love, plain sink pisser, thank you so much for sending me this email. Jonah. This is awesome, but I disagree with how you I disagree with this, Jonah. You're listen, Jonah. I understand that you are attempting to find a creative way to opt out of the public restroom dance, but I'm not so sure that pissing in the sink is that much. Hold on, I'm gonna attempt to be open minded about this. I'm gonna really think about it. Peeing in the sink, peeing

in the sink? Do you wash the sink afterwards? Do you make sure there's no piss left in the sink? But so do you like, do you thoroughly wash out the sink shit. I'm a little bit of the opinion that it doesn't matter where's that water go. I'm a little bit of the opinion that this guy peeing in the sink at versus peeing in the toilet achieves the same result as long as he cleans the toilet. But I let me ask, Jonah, why are you so above

the public bathroom dance. I encourage you, Jonah. I encourage you. I'm gonna say that, Jonah. I encourage you to humble yourself. I encourage you to look at the experience of using a public bathroom as something that grounds you as a there's something that grounds you to society, because we all

need to be humbled every now and then. Jonah, no matter how great your life is going, how much money you make, you know, if your relationships are good, if you feel if no matter who you are, occasionally you gotta wipe a little bit of piss off of a toilet seat. And it's good. It's good to have those moments in life that humble you. Jonah. So don't. I would actually say that by pissing in the sink, you are skipping what is a great human life experience to have.

It's like trying to cheat death. Basically, you're trying to opt out of a natural human experience, and that's not good. So I think you should continue. I think you should stop peeing in the sink and learned to be okay with wiping another man's piss off of a toilet seat. It's not the worst thing in the world. Where's the chat think? The chat says, uh, it all goes to the same place. I agree with that. I don't really think that this guy pissing in the sink matters that much,

But I don't know. I mean, as long as he cleans the sink, all right, let's move on. All right. This is from Megan. Subject line is freezing my neighbors with magic. I'm excited to read this. Hi, Gak, I wanted to tell you about how I recently moved in with my boyfriend. Our neighbors have been slightly irritating, and this is how I decided to resolve the issue. We moved in about two months ago, and I person only

have been loving it. It's quiet and peaceful. However, we noticed a habit taking place where our neighbor will park in the handicapped spot without having any license to do so. The handicapped spot. All right, I guess this is like a okay, this is like an apartment building that has handicap spots. We ignored it at first because we were new, but eventually we started to complain to management because these spots are right in front of our apartment entrance. I mean,

are you are are you? Are you like disabled and they're they're they're keeping their parking in your spot? Or is it just like you don't like the principle of it. We ignored it at first because we were new, but eventually we started to complain to management because these spots are right in front of our apartment entrance. They've also used our spots, which I don't think is a huge deal, but when you pay money is to get in as signed place, it feels disrespectful. Why are you not mad

that I would be mad about that? Why are you not mad that you're mad about the principle that they're using the handicapped spots, but you're not mad that they're in your spot. They've also used our spots, which I don't think is a huge deal, but when you pay money to get in the signed space, it feels disrespectful. No, that's fucking annoying. We've heard people scream fuck your neighbors late at night, and so the next day I started thinking how we could maybe stop some of the reckless

behavior interfering with our home. Is it all right? I've got very religious roots, but some of these New age trends have inspired me. Over the past couple of years, I've become very open minded when it comes to mixing my beliefs, regardless if they contradict. I decided that I would freeze my neighbor in hopes that it would lows some of the problems we've been having, and to my what the fuck, And to my surprise, it's worked absolutely fantastic so far. Once I created the freezer spell, it

took about a day to see some results. It started with her car getting towed and fined. Needless to say, if you have immature neighbors who refuse to hear reason, I'd recommend you freeze them. I really don't know if I should give my real thoughts on this email. I really don't know, dude, it's so much because I'm removed. You know, what is the main difference between doing this

and doing the phone calls if this woman? If I were talking to this woman right now, I would probably be more open minded to her side of the events, and I would probably not as authentically express how I feel about this email. Oh God, I really, I really uh, oh god, what's the chat think. Oh god, bro, I don't know. Here's okay. I have a few thoughts. One somebody else parking in the handicaps parking parking space. Dick move, Dick move. I'm kind of like, like, do I need

to like tell on them to management? Do I care that much? Probably not if they're parking in my space or if I'm handicapped, I understand telling them to management, But like a freezer spell, I don't know. Man, I just this is a person. Oh god, oh man, I really want to tell them all right. I here's why I actually believe And Megan, I think. I don't think

you're a bad person. I don't want to start any fights with you, but like, I think there are probably better things you could do with your time in life than coming up with spells to get your neighbor. Like what do you do? Like do you have a family, do you have a job or do you have children? Like? Is there anything better you can be attempting to do with your life than any of the things that you're talking about in this email? You're here with your boyfriend?

How's your relationship with your boyfriend? God? Has he doing? How are you guys doing? Like just is there what else is going on in your life that could use more attention than your than your neighbors or spells? Ah fuck, now she's gonna put a spell on me. All right, Well, I don't know, that's my thought. It's just I would just audit my life and I would audit my priorities and see if maybe there's something something of higher priority than this to be uh putting your putting your time towards.

That's it, That's all I think. All right, let's keep going. Uh. This is from Nicholas. Subject is Halloween. Happy Halloween, Gecko. I have two questions for you. Question number one, are you going trigger treating? If yes, what are you dressing up as? Uh, I'm gonna talk. I'm gonna say something that's pretty depressing. But it's also a true feeling that I have, which is that I'm at an age now. I'm about I'm about to be twenty seven, and at twenty seven years old, you know, I'm not in college,

I'm not in high school. I'm not like a little kid, and I'm not old enough that I have little kids of my own. So at twenty if you're a twenty seven year old single guy, the holidays are just like kind I just who gives a shit? Really, Like I don't really care about Christmas or Halloween. I I just

don't give a fuck about holidays. I like, when I was a little kid, trick or treating was exciting and Halloween was exciting, and like, if I had kids, I'd be excited to like do Halloween shit with them, But like, I don't give I just don't give a shit about holidays. They're they're kind of like annoying to me now, like New Year's Eve and Halloween, and they're just like they're just stressful. It just adds stress to my life to

like think about what am I gonna do? Or like, oh if I don't like do something cool, I'm a loser. I don't care about thinking about a costume. I'm sorry, I know it's depressing me. That's how I feel about holidays is I just don't They're just like nuisances to me right now. I don't care. I don't care about like doing a Halloween episode of my show. I don't care about coming up with a cons It's just it's

just kind of a nuisance right now. Yeah, I mean I don't even even Honestly, even back when I was in college, it was like an or high school. It was a nuisance, right because like everyone's putting together their their New Year's plans, everyone's putting together their Halloween plans or whatever, and you're you're there's just some stress to there about like, oh, I gotta I gotta make sure I'm like I have cool plans for these holidays, and

I don't know anyway. Number two, Uh, if you had to choose between saving twenty dogs and saving the McDonald's corporation, which would you choose? If you had to choose between saving twenty dogs and saving the McDonald's corporation, which one would you choose? Answer? Honestly, love you gecko, What do you mean by saving the McDonald's Corporation? Like, I really I can't. I don't know if I can answer this question, only because I like, I don't know what does that mean?

Like when you say saving the McDonald's corporation, do you mean like, if I choose the twenty dogs, every McDonald's on Earth explodes. Uh, that would kill a lot more people than the twenty dogs. So I'm unfortunately going to abstain from this situation only because I don't know what saving the McDonald's corporation means exactly. If it doesn't mean that, uh, does it mean I can't eat McDonald's anymore? I'm gonna

save McDonald's. Fuck the No, I'm just kidding. I don't if if you here, I'll say this, if you told me that if I ever rate McDonald's again, twenty dogs would die, I would I would stop eating McDonald's. I'll say that, But uh, I don't know what breed? What kind of dogs are they? Are they like tiny annoying dogs or are they like like cute fluffy dogs? What kind of dogs are they? All Right, I'm sorry, I'm gonna keep going. Let's see here. Uh all right? This

is from Ashley. Hey Lyle, we saw your show in Washington, d C. And couldn't be more excited, so we got my mom to make these I Love Therapy gecko shirts are Remember you, Ashley, I know, I know exactly who you are. Her business is Craft Light Craft Life, LLS see, we love you. And then she posted these, yeah, these two folks at my DC show, uh war war shirts that said I love therapy, Get go. That's so nice. Thank you, Ashley. I hope you guys are doing well. Yeah,

I remember you guys. That was a fun show. All right. This is from This is from Joey. Okay, this is from Joey. Subject line feeling guilty after one of your live shows. All right, Joey says, Hey, GEK. A few years ago, my girlfriend at the time and I went to see one of your LA shows. Oh this is oh yeah, okay, yeah, I'm looking at the picture from the show. This is from two. This is two years ago.

This is May of twenty twenty two is when this show was Okay, a few years ago, my girlfriend at the time and I went to see one of your LA shows. You absolutely killed it and we had a great time. Thank you, Joey words. You did a meet and greet outside in the lobby, and I was so excited to ask you a question that I had been formulating for months prior. The question was in the shower, do you wash your feet first or your asshole first?

You and I went back and forth for a solid amount of time deciding which would be worse, shit on your feet or dirt in your ass. We got to the bottom of the answer, parentheses of which I've since forgotten parentheses. That doesn't really matter, y'all. You get washed no matter what. And afterwards we took a picture together and we went about our night leaving the venue. My

girlfriend was very upset with me. I was so caught up in my question to you, as well as being starstruck meeting you for the first time, that I completely blanked on the fact that I had asked her to take the picture of us, disregarding the fact that she also wanted to be in the picture. Ah ah man. She was the one who introduced me to the podcast after all. Suffice to say, I felt horrible afterwards. I was extremely apologetic, and she ultimately understood that my mind

was going a million miles an hour. But I've never been able to escape the guilt of that night. We are no longer together, but we remain good friends to this day. I'm not sure why I felt the need to share this with you, but maybe you can help me find some closure. Thank you, kind sir, Joey Damn. First of all, listen, listen, listen. Here here's like a few things. A few things. One. I get you, man, I get you. You were probably you were probably it

was I don't think that you did that. I don't think that you snubbed your girlfriend out of like ignorance. I am willing to believe you were just like, ah, you you know you feel bad about it. You were just like, ah, fuck, I forgot. I'm so sorry. I didn't mind fucking mean to do that. Where's your You guys are still friend? Like? How good of friends? I'm doing a show in La in like two weeks. Why don't you come to that one we can all take a picture together that she wanted to be in the picture.

Why didn't did I take a picture with her too? Why didn't she ask to take a picture. I would have taken a picture with both of you, guys. I guess I don't understand. Okay, I'll say this. I guess I don't understand. Like if you two you asked her to take a picture, but then why wasn't she just like, hey, let's all take a picture. I get I get where she's coming from. It would have been nice if you if you in your leading, it seems of the interaction

had been considerate of her. I understand that, I understand where she's coming from on that, but I don't know. Does she still listen whoever, whoever your girlfriend is while I'm coming, I'm gonna be in l A. I'm doing two shows November eighth and ninth. Tell her to come through. We can, we can take a picture. I don't know. What's the chat say? I agree? Why didn't? But why didn't she? Why didn't she? She's not like you're not here's what I say. You're not like her, like care

taker like she? Why didn't she just ask me to take a picture if she wanted a picture. I don't know. I get where I I get where she was coming from. But also I don't I don't know, I don't whatever. Tell her to tell her to come through.

a lot. I am thirty one years old and in my life I have met two other people named Lyle, one of them being my dad. I am Lyle. I'm not gonna read your last name, one of them being my dad. Uh, that's crazy that your dad just gave you your name. I feel weird if I named my son Lyle. I just think I was talking to myself the whole time. Sort of a weird story. But when I was seventeen, I broke my ankle really bad playing basketball, and my

orthopedic surgeon was named doctor Lyle. At one point, I was sitting in surgery consultation and in the room was me, my dad, and doctor Lyle. The doc is explaining to us some jargony medical explanation for my injury, and out of nowhere, my dad cuts him off and says, you know, doc, The three of us in here is probably the highest concentration of Lyle's on Earth. I was sicking that too. That's crazy. Your dad is right, I don't meet a lot of Liles. Hold on, I have to sneeze shop.

I don't meet a lot of Liles. And you and doctor Lyle, you and your dad were probably the highest concentration of Lyles in one room on Earth. Dude. There's this thing called like the Ryan meet Up where like, but there's obviously tons of Ryan's. What if I did the lot where like a bunch of people named Ryan all got together and they had a party and there I think there's a Facebook group or some shit like that. What if I did a Lile party? I was like,

all Lyles are invited to this thing? How many Liles are there? Can't be that many. If I threw a Lile party in New York City, I bet only like, if I got two other people to show up that were named Lyle, I'd be impressed. Is anyone else listening to this podcast? Maybe I would? That be an insane idea. Who who listens to this podcast? Asked in their name

is Lyle? Are there a lot of Lyle's? Are there a lot of us out there that probably the three of you guys probably was the highest concentration of Liles on earth. Anyway, I hope all is well. Love to see a fellow Lyle out there doing his thing best Lyle, Well, God, a damn Lyle. I'm honored to uh, this is a nice story. Tell your dad and your orthopedic surgeon. I said, what's up? This is from Rebecca, subject line the little stuff, Hey, Lyle. Not really too sure what a viewer male episode is

or what it would even be like. Honestly, I'm not too sure what a lot of things are, but I like that about the universe. I've tried calling him before, but all I want to talk about is the little stuff. You know. Sometimes I have bad anxiety over stupid things, and then I try to force myself out of it.

This can be seen as noticing how the sunlight hits the walls of my apartment, or even having a night deep breath, occasionally taking a walk and finding some trash on the ground that just so happens to look cinematic in that moment. It can be a good It can be good to reframe, and I find it challenges me in the best way. Hold on I want to actually comprehend. Sometimes I have bad anxiety over stupid things, and I try to force myself. Okay, these are this is how

she forces herself out of anxiety. Okay, I got it. I love this, this is great. Anyway, I'm an illustrator. I had just done that drawing of you and m F. Doom. Yo. I'm literally looking at that right now. Yeah yo, fuck yeah, Rebecca. Yeah, you gave that to me in fucking Boston. I remember you. I totally remember you. What's up, Rebecca. Yeah, this person drew a drer rendition of me and m F. Doom as if MF. Doom was a gecko on my show, and I have it framed here in my in my office.

Fuck yeah no, I literally have that framed right next to me. That's awesome. I was also wearing the Aquatine Hunger Force shirt. Yeah, I remember you, were, Becca. I sent to me and my high school friends are all big adult swim fans. I sent a message to my group chat that night, and I was like, and I said, a lady I sent, I sent, I sent a picture of the print, and I was like, a lady in an Aquatine Hunger Force shirt gave this to me. Yeah,

that was awesome. I totally remember you. What's up? It was awesome seeing you in Boston, and I hope you come back soon. If you ever need design work or an illustration, feel free to reach out at any time. Thanks man, peace and love. Yeah, this is no. Here's the thing about the little stuff is it's real, right, Like I often think a lot about like I'm in a big I'm really really trying to figure out how to how to find like lasting happiness, and I do think a lot of it is in the little stuff.

I was taking a I had like a brief windows a week or two where I was really really happy and I was just walking around and I was just saying to myself, like, fuck, I love life. I love looking at the sunlight on the walls of shit. I love breathing and being like, oh my god, I can breathe. This is awesome. It's finding trash that looks cinematic. This is this person. The person who wrote this email is gonna be fucking happy forever. I love the person who

wrote this email that they're gonna be happy forever. That nothing is gonna fuck this person up because she figured out how to be happy looking at sun hitting a wall? What a this person's a genius. That's like, that's that's really it. If you can figure out how to there's there's really there's really two ways I think to be happy in life. Maybe this is a work. This is

something I just thought about. You either achieve and hoard as many relationships and you know, romantic or otherwise, uh, you know, relationships and and experiences and achievements and just you know, what are the classic stuff? Right, You fill your life with as much of that shit as possible and and it makes you happy. Or you take the baseline of what makes you happy and you put it all the way down to breathing. You're like, all I need to be happy is the ability to fucking breathe.

And I'm good. And I'm like, and I think you can live a life where you're kind of again, this is the thing I think about a lot and talk about a lot in the podcast, is like balancing how much of your happiness is just having a good perspective on your life and kind of like internal work versus like actually having a good life like external work, and when you can get the baseline of your happiness down to just like I'm just happy to breathe and look

at the sun. You're doing great, so I'm stoked for you. Rebecca. If you have any advice for me on how to how to notice the sunlight more instead of thinking about, you know, how the stock market is doing, please let me know. And thank you again for the MF doing print. I love that shit. All right. This is from This is from Lucas. Oh, this one's too long. Sorry, Sorry Lucas. It was a different Lucas. It was a different Lucas. Okay.

This is from Finlay. Subject line spray painting and uh fear of something line spray painting and fear of people. This is from Finlay. Hey, gek, I'm eighteen years old and I live in Atlanta. But apart from that, I'm trying to get into the whole graffiti thing. But the main issue is that I'm not really the best I have been practicing, but I was invited to go do this stuff with some pretty cool guys. These guys are like really cool though, and I don't know how to

talk to them. Also, my name is Finlay. Oh wow, I love this email. Well, okay, a couple of things. Here's a couple of things. One, don't get arrested just you know, I mean graffiti whatever, who gives whatever I mean, don't get arrested. Just be careful, don't I don't know, don't get arrested. But anyway, aside from that, if we're gonna talk about if this wasn't a graffiti, I'm not gonna be your fucking dad about it. But let's talk

about this. You're a nervous for two reasons that you've expressed. Reason number one is that you think you're not good enough at art to be there. And the reason number two is these people are really cool and you don't know how to talk to them. You're afraid maybe you're not cool enough to hang out with them. Let's talk about that first. Here's the thing, Finlay, remember this for

the rest of your fucking life. If someone really is that cool, they'll be easy to talk to and you won't need to impress them because if they're really that cool, they'll just be nice to you and cool to you, regardless of like how you are, regardless of how you're like presenting yourself. You know, as long so if in like, as long as you're approaching your interactions in your life with like good faith, you know what I mean. You're trying your best to not be an asshole. You have

good faith intentions. As you move through the world and you go out and you talk to people and you do things, you're fine, you know. And then if these people really are that cool, they'll be inviting to you. They'll be easy for you to talk to, they'll be uh, you know, you won't feel on it. If these people are really that cool, you won't feel on edge with them.

If you think these people are cool because they like dress a certain way, or like they're good at art that you know, who gives a shit about any that stuff? That doesn't fucking matter. So if these guys really are that cool, they'll be easy to hang out with and you won't need to worry about presenting yourself as some cool, fancy fucking art kid. So don't worry about that. And then the whole thing about like I'm not that good at art. Bro, you're eighteen and you're about to go

to this weird graffiti tagging event. Who gives a shit? If you're good at art, you're there to get into You're there. You're not going there to be good at ar. I mean, maybe you are, but you're really going there to like fucking get into a weird experience and socialize and get build community. Got into the universe. So whether or not you're good at the art doesn't it doesn't really matter to me. Good on you for getting out

there and uh doing some shit. Fear of people, you wrote in your subject line, good on you, I liked I like this guy a lot. I really do. I like this guy a lot because he's afraid of people and afraid of social interaction, it seems. But you know what, he's gonna go anyway. That's what I like about. That's what I like about Finlay. He's gonna go no matter what.

Hopefully as long as you go, just go, Finlay, just go approach your interactions with good faith and with the intention that you want to meet people and have fun and do your ship and uh and you're good man. All right? Holy shit? Uh this are this is way too long? Yeah? Once again, I didn't specify this, but try to keep your email between you know, uh, like maybe like two paragraphs. Subject line this from Ryan subject line therapy Gecko Hates Canada, GEK love you Man, love

your podcast. Thank you, Ryan, Canada is a all caps, huge ass country with many many cities and towns from west coast, and on this current tour, you only have one Canadian city. He wrote a bunch of other stuff that I'm not going to read. But what is it, Gek is the ketchup chips driving you away from my country? I love ketchup chips. I love Ketchup Chips, Ryan. I don't hate Canada.

I'm just i'd like I would like to do like a whole ass like real Canada tour and go to like Montreal and Vancouver and Winnipeg and all that stuff. I'm just I'm just kind of tired. But thank you Ryan, thanks for listening to the show. And I don't hate Canada. I actually like Canada a lot. I walked across. I had a great time when I went to Toronto. I walked across the Canadian border from Buffalo to Canada. I just I was like standing with my little suitcase of

T shirts. I might have told this story on the podcast already, but I'm gonna tell it again. I was walking across the Canadian border from Buffalo into Canada, and I was in like the I was just I was just had a backpack and a duffel bag full of shirts, and I'm like standing in line with a bunch of cars. I'm the only pedestrian. It's like very much meant for cars. And I get to the border agent and he's like he looks at my big ass stuffel bag and he goes,

are there any drugs or weapons in the bag? And I was like, uh no, and he was like, all right, cool man, Well enjoy Canada. He didn't even check. And that is why Canada Okay, I know, you know why. Okay, you know how I said, boyse wasn't a real place. Canada. I don't hate Canada, but it's kind of not a real place because I'd feel like in a real place, they like check your bag if you're crossing from one country into another. So Canada, I mean, Canada's kind of real.

I like Canada. I like Canada, but it's only kind of real. Thank you for listening to the show. Ryan. Okay. This is from Evan subject viewer male episode. Evan says, my girlfriend that I live with has dyspraxia and struggles to know left from right. I'm the driver in the relationship. What is dyspraxia. I've never heard of this in my life. Dyspraxia is a neurological development disorder that affects a person's

ability to coordinate physical movements. Okay, you said my girlfriend has all This is a two sentence long My girlfriend has dyspraxia and struggles to know left from right. I'm the driver in the relationship. First of all, that's a weird sentence. I don't like that sentence. I'm the driver in the relationship. Oh okay, hold on, Oh okay, I'm an idiot. I thought he meant like. I thought he met like metaphorically. I think he literally just means he drives the car. Unless if he means like he's the

metap he's the like top dog in the relationship. That's why I thought he meant I think he literally means he drives the car. Okay, uh okay, in that case, that would make sense. All right, I don't really know what else to do with his email, so let's move on. Uh Yeah, this email is stupid. Okay. This is from Matt subject line my Hedgehog story. Dear mister t Gecko, I like that. Thank you for taking the time to read my email. Attached is a story for you and

your viewers. We have to go back to nineteen ninety six when I was in kindergarten. It was winter vacation and I got to take the class pet home over the break. It was a hetchhog, and we didn't know it to feed it. My parents gave it a bunch of mealworms and it ate them like all you could eat shrimp. We found it the next morning and it was dead. We thought the mealworms poisoned the hetchhog, and we had a private burial in our backyard. Not so fast, now, Sonic,

that was stupid. I wish I didn't say that, but I'm leaving it in uh. For years, when I encountered mealworms, I would reflect that they're poisonous to hetchhogs. Until very recently, I didn't know the truth. Hedgehogs hibernate. They gorge themselves on insects before hibernation, and that big mealworm probably oh okay, and that big mealworm meal probably triggered its hibernation. Oh my god. We accidentally buried that poor head chog six feet deep in the backyard alive because we thought it

was high. Because we thought it was dead when it was really hibernating. Oh no, that's really sad. That's really fucked up. That's a crazy story, he says. Imagine, he says, Imagine having a really big meal like hot pot or all you can eat shrimp and taking a deep nap and waking up buried underground. Big yikes, Jesus, that's a fucked up set. That's a really fucked up story. Goddamn. Oh yeah, that sucks. At least I guess at least he dies. Well I was gonna say at least he died,

you know, having a big meal. But he didn't die. He died suffocating in a box. By the way, six feet do you really bury that motherfucker? Six feet? Six feet is a little deep for a hedgehog. That sucks. It sucks to be that hedgehog. Yeah, it's a fucked up story. Well, thanks for thanks for telling it. I guess I hope you don't go to hell because of that, But I don't know. Maybe you Maybe you die and you go to the gates of Saint Peter and Shadow of the Hedgehog is there and he banishes you to

hell forever. All right, I'll read one more. All right, here's one. This is Alec subject line sad a wrapper. Hey man, I hope this email finds you. I like that it's very neutral. I am a musician from Massachuset. I spent all of high school playing saxophone to get into Berkeley College of Music, which is considered one of the most prestigious contemporary music colleges in the world. And I got in, but after four years of playing sax

in college, I lost my love for it. Practice in sax became a chore that I never wanted to do, and I ended up resenting the instrument. I have recently found a new passion comedic rap. I love it, but I am worried that I don't have the social media personality, the connections, the looks and age, or even the actual skill to do it. And I feel like a piece of shit for wasting my college years and putting myself in debt just to never play the sax again. I'm afraid now to go all in on this since it

is a big risk considering the subject matter. My question for you is, would you listen to my very first rap song that I ever wrote? And then he sent me a link. I'll listen to it later. I can't listen to it right now. And then he says, and is this something you think I should pursue? Thank you for reading. I hope my song brings a smile to your face, mister best Wait, Alec, have we talked before? Did we talk on the podcast? Anyway? I will listen to your song later, but I don't want to listen

to it right now. And truthfully, my response to this email, I don't need to listen to this to respond to the things that you were saying in your email of whether or I think this is something you should pursue. I empathize with your struggle, man, I really do. I think. I think I definitely understand. You know something that you that you really like and have passion for, like becoming

a chore, and then you end up resenting it. I've been having a lot of life epiphanies lately, Alec, And one of the life epiphanies that I've been having lately is that nothing really fucking matters except what you are actually doing, like the literal process of what you are actually doing, and then like who you're around, like who you're doing, what you're doing with, and so the question

of should you pursue it. If you like doing this, like you simply enjoy the process of wrapping, you should do it until you don't fucking like doing it anymore. If you're put, if you're in a whole thing of like, oh, I I'm just doing this to like fucking like because you're put, you're putting a whole thing on it of like, oh I need to make money doing this, I need to be successful doing this. You're just gonna end up presenting it again, dude, You're just gonna endpresenting it again.

Like if you really if you really want, dude, go fucking do something else for money and then make raps because you like making raps. You're not gonna suddenly like it more because it's successful. You have a baseline of whether or not you like it. So if if you're if you're enjoying doing it, keep fucking doing it, keep fucking doing it. I also don't think that you what what else has you read in this email? I don't think you wasted any I mean, you wasted a bunch

of money. You totally, you totally did waste a bunch of money, But you didn't waste any time you didn't waste any time because you liked playing the sax in the moment that you were doing it, and maybe you had fun in college. Maybe you I don't know, did cocaine once or something and you had fun. Uh So, yeah, of course you should keep doing it. I don't need to listen to this to know if you should keep doing it or not. Just do things that you like and then die. I think that's how life works. But

I don't know. I'm also, by the way, a huge fucking hypocrite. Just so you know, I do things I don't want to do for in life all the time. But yeah, anyway, just keep going alec huh. Well that's it. This is the end of the episode. I don't know. I hope this was good. I hope this was good. I don't know if this was good. I don't know if I I'm I enjoyed it. I enjoyed ranting, and I hope it was of value. That's all. That's what

I really care about. Two things with this podcast. I really care about, like if I'm enjoying doing it, and if the people who are listening are getting value out of it. I hope the people listening are getting value out of it. I hope that if you if I mean, if you're here, if you're still here, this is the end of the episode. This is We've been recording for how long, like an hour and twenty minutes or something like that. I just hope you enjoyed listening to this.

I hope it was worth it. So yeah, thanks for listening. I don't know how often I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna probably do this. I'm there might universe exists where I do this once a week. But let me know your thoughts and the comments. I read every comment. I shouldn't say that because then whatever, but I do. I read every comment. So just let me know what you think in the Spotify comments or the YouTube comments of

this Viewer Male episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I got some shows coming up in Europe and in Los Angeles and Minneapolis, and then I'm probably gonna take a break from the road for for a long time. But yeah, thanks for listening, and I hope you enjoyed it, and uh, take care, good luck bye everyone a week and goes on the line taking your phone calls every night every week, and goes to just teaching names about line, An expert