GECK IRL: “IS MURDER BAD?”

Hello, folks, it is Lyle.

This is just a quick intro to this episode, letting you know that it was recorded in real life. That's right, in real life in Washington Square Park in New York City. I did some interviews with some folks. We got to talk to a lot of people. It was really great. I hope you enjoy it, and please let me know in the comments if you like these kinds of episodes, because personally, for me, they're my favorite kind to do. I love getting to chat with people. I felt like

I feel great, I feel amazing.

Washington Square Park is one of my favorite places that I have that I have been in my adventures around the planet. There's all kinds of people here, all living their own individual lives, and it's a sunny day out and I'm gonna I'm gonna chat with some people, so let's do that. This is being a gecko in the park. Can you tell us your.

Name, ma'am?

Yes hi, I'm Tabitha, Tabitha. Nice to meet you, Tabitha.

Nice.

How you doing. How's life good?

Good? Beautiful? Yeah?

What brings you to the park today?

I am here with a group that does arts ministry.

What is arts ministry?

Yeah?

So it's artists who love Jesus and are committed to loving the people in art in the city for him, like in his name.

So you know what's funny is okay? On the last episode of the podcast, we had another guy who wanted to talk about Jesus, but he was he was a dick about it. You seem way nicer.

Than he does.

When did you? And I'm actually, I'm I'm open minded to these things because it's very hard to find direction in life, and it seems like something that gives people a lot of direction in life.

So when did you find Jesus?

Ooh, that's a great question.

I actually found Jesus because my parents dragged me to church as a small child.

Uh, mixed bag.

I don't necessarily advocate for dragging your children places.

Really against their will. Really, okay, I mean that's a good thing. That's a good thing to advocate against. When like, do you remember early days when you were in church as a child? Were you bored? Yeah?

I fell asleep a lot. My mom is she's got really soft arms. I love you, mommy, if you ever see this, And so I would just fall asleep on her arm.

Our church. I think was also aware that there.

Were children there consistently because we had crosswords and word searches in the back of the bullet O.

So, yeah, did anything stuck in your head, like were there any sermons that got into your head that you were like, all right, I'm kind of vibing with this.

Yeah, I think it was more Sunday school. It was more the time geared towards kiddos where I got to see, Oh, Jesus is cool and like he doesn't necessarily want me to dress up in things that like choke me on Sunday mornings and go sit and fall asleep in church for two hours.

Yeah, but he does like want to talk to me about stuff. What do you talk to Jesus about everything? Oh? My god, is there any topics off? Have you ever started talking to him? And He's like, keep that one to yourself.

No.

Never.

In fact, it's scary to me how much I can just hear him say yeah, keep going cool, that's.

What I want. Okay.

Do you feel like and he withholds judgment?

Right?

That's thing.

It's not even that he withholds judgment so much as I feel so clearly his love.

Wow.

I think our best friends, like in the world aren't people that would let us go like smoke crack on a Saturday afternoon.

Hope. So so if like, so, I know Jesus is non judgmental, But if you told if you were talking to Jesus, right, yeah, and you were like, I have this deep compulsion. Something about the air on this brisk Saturday afternoon is making me want to smoke crack.

What would he say?

Would he be like, what's a good friend say to that?

Yeah?

I think if I could, in this moment be Jesus.

Yeah, please Lord, uh please be Jesus.

I would say, maybe what's wrong?

Do you need help?

Do we need to have a conversation. We can go somewhere and eat some food and talk about it. Crack isn't the answer. Crack is whack, as Whitney would say. Yeah, though her action, never mind, let's not talk about Whitney.

My bad Whitney. Yeah, she was into crack.

She was.

You ever see that this isn't popp But if you ever see someone on crack and they a little like, Okay, here's the thing about crack is obviously we all know that crack is a like is a long term bad play. But if you're looking to have a phenomenal fit, if you're gonna have a great life, you stay away from it. I have an awesome ten minutes. Yeah, it looks like it could be fun for those ten minutes.

So I went to a Christian college who won't name it. But I literally had a professor who we were talking about like really old people that would come speak at the college. And there's one guy who passed away like in the last five years, who was like ninety eight when he passed whoa and like around his ninety fifth

Okay it yeah, you know, yeah, no, it's wait, is that you though? Which so if you if you turn ninety eight, are you gonna are you gonna do heroin?

You don't know.

About trying heroin.

I feel like by the time I get to ninety eight, it's almost like a sense of I've seen so much and I've done so many things.

Do I really want to try the heroine?

Maybe maybe the horse will be for me when I turned ninety three?

But oh rhyme, maybe the horse will be for me when I turned ninety three. That sounds like something from like a Bob Dylan song. Cannot confirm what So we talked a little bit before you came on on camera. You're not from New York, right, I'm not.

What do you do? What do you where are you from? And what are you doing in town?

Yeah?

So I am from San Antonio, Texas. Cool so very much deep south central oh Texas, Praise God. But I am here with this group and one of the things that they want to do and encourage other artists to do is be.

I would say, salt and light.

That's very Jesus Bible centered, Bible dog whistle if you will, But be Sultan light in their artists community wherever they're from.

And how does like, logistically speaking, how does one be Sultan light?

Yeah? So I would say it looks like being a safe person to bring hard questions.

To a safe person to bring hard questions too. Yeah, love, I love that.

That's great and a safe place to grieve, yeah, and to mourn.

Yeah.

I was talking to your bosom buddy over there, buddy, Oh my god, we're angry doggo but and we just talked about how you guys have been in the arts communist community since you were small.

Yeah.

Yeah, me and from a from behind the camera, we've we've been making movies together since at least twelve years ago something like that twelve, thirteen, fifteen years ago.

Yeah, so we've been we've been at it for a while.

So what we were.

Talking about is I asked him if his experience of the arts community theory or I keep mixing community and ministry but we're gonna stick to community of arts was positive or negative, because depending on the vein that you're in and the place that you're in in that arts community, it can be really detrimental, really poisonous almost. I'm a musician by trade and training, and musicians can be really

The gift that been given.

Yeah, and I think my experience with arts ministry in that space has been just communicating you are enough, like this gift is beautiful, not because it's better than anybody else's, but because it's a gift.

Let me ask you this question, what do you what's your opinion? Okay, so you're familiar with the tortured artist trope, right, and people, there's a lot of people out there who their whole thing is they they have made a successful career out of hating themselves into being better.

And I look, I've I've fell victim to that.

I know a lot of people that's their modest OPERENDI is like, if I keep hating myself and I keep believing I'm not enough, I will that's gonna motivate me, propel me for and like, look, undenial, you cannot deny it as part.

Of the hero's journey.

That has is part of the hero's journey. It has resulted in a lot of great art. But you seem as though you seem like a person who comes at these things from a much more positive place. Yeah, and how how how does what do you think about the sort of tortured artist way of doing things? And and and maybe somebody who's listening who does who tries to hate themselves into submission? What would you say to them about perhaps an alternative path?

Yeah, I would say, You're loved and you're beautiful just the way that you are. I would say that that is absolutely normal. It is absolutely normal to experience self deprecating thoughts to experience the deep and abiding insecurity that, yeah, would cause you to hate your own experience because it hurts. You're not crazy, Yeah, you're not so broken that you won't find community. But I would say that from a

I'll get it. Sure. Well here's well, here's the funny thing is when you say, because like a lot of these like tenants and values, even if you you know you're an atheist and you don't necessarily believe in, like, you know, a god or spirituality, you can sub it in as like.

That is good advice.

Yeah, Like, even if you don't like believe in Jesus, it is good advice to be like, hey, if you have a talent, you have a thing you like doing, it's okay to just enjoy doing it and enjoy the process. And yeah, you know, fucking hate yourself. Yeah, you know, because that's what whatever your idea of a higher power that exists in the universe wants. Yeah, you know, like even if you are the higher power, why would you

What is it?

Where does it go?

And uh? And uh will it matter in twenty years?

All great questions that perhaps one day we will find the answers to.

Tabitha. Thank you very much for for chatting.

I appreciate it.

Have a good rest of the day. Appreciate Uh.

Do you want to plug anything? You can plug as something if you want Jesus, plug Jesus. Where can we follow? Somebody has the Jesus Instagram handle right like?

Is he?

I have no idea? Is he honest?

Someone?

Dog is so cute. It's a cute dog. Sorry for the audio listeners, they can't see this dog. It's a precious it's it's it's covered in fluff, glitter, glitter. It's a good dog. Golden but yeah, beautiful.

Thank you, Tabitha.

Thank you.

Here we can fiss, We can fist mom by Tabitha Bye.

Uh.

That was a great conversation.

It is funny for those who listen on the podcast because last we had a shout at Anthony, who I still believe in by the way, I know we got a lot of negative comments by Anthony. If you're watching this, I still believe in you. But it is nice to get some alternative perspectives on the same thing. All right, let's keep talking to folks. What's what's your name, Doug, Eli? How are you doing? Nice to meet you. What's uh? What's what's uh? What's going on?

Eli?

Has?

What brings you to the park today?

I don't know, Bro, I've just been here on a trip and we just happened to cross by. I don't even think we were supposed to be here. We just happened to come back to regroup with everyone. Like you can see behind the camera and.

All that Oh people right, oh, who who who are all these people? Who's the for the those listening on audio or actually even on video, there's a group of about uh, this is not forty this is about twenty five people.

Who are who are these people? Who are these folks?

Friends? People that come to s with me? You know people that I like, I spend a lot of time with and all that.

That's right.

And my teachers, Oh your teacher?

What what? What like level of school is this?

Like tenth grade? It is like a charter school, right, yeah, charter school?

Okay? And like so so you're so you're in tenth grade? Yeah, okay, how's house tenth grade? What's going on in the high school universe?

Pretty true? You know, you's got to worry about your grades and all that. But and that's it's cool. It's cool.

What do you have aspirations.

For the future?

What's an aspiration?

And aspiration is like something you want to do, oh.

Like hopefully go to college and all that, you know, cool, study for what I want to be in maybe like finances or like things like that.

Nice.

Do you want to make a lot of money?

Oh yeah, yeah?

What do you What do you do you have like a thing you want to buy more than anything else, or.

Like a BMW you really want to buy?

I buy a BMW?

That's cool.

What about what would you what would you do if you have like ten million dollars of your life quick?

You know, first, I'd probably help on my people out. I'm gonna be for real too nice, and then like after that will obviously there's gonna be something left. So I'm gonna worry about myself and just like preserve the rest of the money and how to like stay with the money, like more of it?

Cool? Yeah, okay, I have a question. You You have a piece of paper in your hands. Oh yeah, can I see what this piece of paper is? I'm gonna read it. Oh, okay, this is pretty cool. Wanted for good behavior.

Like the one I'm like the third one right there?

Oh this is wait you're oh you're in this.

This is a picture. What Okay?

It says Washington Square wanted for good behavior?

Is that?

So that's you?

You're wanted for good behavior?

How did you? How did you? How did you get to become wanted for good behavior? What kind of good behavior have you've been?

I don't know. I just try to be nicer to like everyone around me whenever they talk to me and all that.

That's cool.

You know, positive energy, it needs to be spreaded a lot.

Has does anyone ever push your buttons?

Is that?

Like?

What?

Like what does someone have to do to really get to you?

Annoy me? Bug me? It's up in my shoes.

I'm like that, okay, yeah, all right, well let's see I guess Oh, I'm sure I saw all these people here. Yeah.

Uh.

Why it's like noon, right, Why aren't you guys in class?

Oh? This is a school field trip, like you know that they took us here like an educational thing, like a field lesson?

Do I have to give you a permission slip to be on here?

Do they have to?

Well? I don't.

I don't have that, so it's gonna have to.

I was too late for that. I mean that, it's pretty cool, you know. It's it's like the second one I've really been on, because we did one last year.

But where'd you go?

You go to the Science Center.

It was like an eighth grade and move into like Houston and San Antonio. It was pretty cool, like this and all cool. Yeah.

Do you are you one of those people? It was my final question for you. Are you one of those folks? You're like, yeah, I'm vibing with high school?

Life's great?

Or are you are you like I can't wait to get out of here and be like a real person.

Really really, it's which is like it depends on what kind of mood them in Like sometimes I just I just like where I'm at right now, and then sometimes I just like worry about the future ahead you feel me and like I just want to get to the money really fast, you know. To me, it's like one of the more important things in my life.

Get money into you into crypto.

Nah, I am like, I don't know how I do know that. So like I'm not gonna do something I don't know.

You know what I think based on what you just said, you have a strong financial future ahead of you.

Yeah.

So like, but do you like live here in New York?

Uh? Yeah, yeah, I live here.

Sometimes I'm here, sometimes I'm in various deserts, forests and coal mountain slopes.

So you travel, Yeah, I've traveled.

I guess.

It's like so it's like it's like this everywhere you go.

Uh what do you mean like this?

Or like you just set up the on your like bow yeaes up.

Chairs, chat with people, hang out.

It's just nice to I swear in my life, I'm just doing I don't know why I need to do so much to just like I'm mainly just doing this to get out of the house.

Like why you got like strict rules in your house or like, what's what's a strict.

Rules in the house.

Yeah, no, it's just if I'm in the house for too long, I start to I start to melt, you know, I start to spiral, think about crazy shit. Dude, Yesterday I was yesterday, I was just thinking I was. I was in my house for too long. I started thinking about it. I started wondering whether or not my dad was real.

Yeah, yeah, every thinking about crazy stuff. I kind of have that problem too, you know. You know, need you like do something with your selfie for me?

Yeah, yeah, or else just start questioning reality. But listen, I want you to right now about seventy I'm at least seventy eight percent sure that this is all real right now, And that's pretty good. And I appreciate you sitting down and chat with me. What's your name one more time? Eli, Eluys or anything else you want to say to the people in the computer before we go.

It's gonna be on TikTok and all that.

Maybe I don't know, I might, I might not do it. I might just I might never post this. No, I'm probably gonna post it on as a podcast and stuff. Why you want to just try and shut yourself out or something.

I just want to be on TikTok so like people can see me. I'll be cool.

You on YouTube?

Yeah, YouTube, YouTube school too?

Yeah?

Like that cool?

All right, all right, take care of your life.

Bye bye.

How's it going?

Hey?

What's up? What's your name?

Trinity?

Trinity? It's a wonderful name. Trinity Rain. What's up, Trinity Rain?

What Trinity Rain? I got a question for you. Okay, what's one of the most persistent thought on your mind lately? What have you been thinking about?

If there's life on other planets?

Yeah, and if they're aware of us, or if it mimics what we do in our daily lives, if they're just aliens and I don't know, they don't care.

Have you come to any hypotheses conclusions on this.

I do believe that there's life on other planets, but I don't know if they're aware of us and they just think we're so minimalistic they don't care to interact, or if they also aren't aware and don't have the means of reaching out to us.

I was reading an article once and it said something that kind of blew my mind.

It was like, even if there is like life.

Like consciousness is like a spectrum, and so we aren't like the final most conscious beings on earth, but and we but we're on a spectrum, which means that like we're more conscious than a chicken. Right, But there almost inevitably exists something that's more conscious than us, but we can't understand them anymore than like a chicken can understand the context of our world. Isn't that crazy?

Very crazy?

Yeah?

What do you believe? Are you an atheist?

I don't know if I like, I don't know, I don't know. I think I was like, yeah, we're just all going on the ground and whatever.

There's too much that I've accepted.

There's too much that I don't know to make a claim of any kind. So I'm just gonna, you know, be a gecko and m h run around. I'm just gonna try to do my best on this whatever I'm experiencing right now. But I was thinking, I was like, oh, you know, we just go in the ground and that's it. Yeah, but consciousness is a trip, it is, and there's got there. I wouldn't be surprised if there was something more to it. But there's also I was dead for most of a life,

I think I'm thinking too small.

I think there's maybe a whole other planet filled with geckos who are waiting for you to come back home. And that's where you departed from, oh Man, because I questioned what made you want to be a gecko in the first place?

Uh, well today, maybe want to be a gecko was to have fun, get out of the house and chat with folks and feel great. You know?

Is that what you want your legacy to be? Essentially?

You just I'm not obsessed with legacy because legacy is like no one cares really about anyone or anything.

Even people who have legacy like Abraham.

How many times a year do you think about Abraham Lincoln?

I had a seventh grade teacher who made me memorize like four scorn of years ago, the Gettysburg Address, the getty Burg Address, and I had to perform in front of the class, So you and that.

But since that's subjective. Since then, how many times a day do you think about Abraham Lincoln?

Zero?

Zero? Nobody gives no, one really gives a shit about him.

That's very true.

Everyone knows who he is vaguely, but nobody really. So his legacy didn't I'm not gonna say Abraham Lincoln didn't matter. He did some stuff, but like, you can't be thinking too much about how people are gonna think about you when you're gone, because ultimately, nobody's really thinking about you at all. Ever, even if you're Abraham Lincoln.

Yeah, what are you gonna do? You're gone?

Gone?

Yeah, that makes sense.

What do you do here in New York?

I'm studying film and television?

Oh, I studied film and television?

Really film major?

Yeah? Okay, yeah. Are you not to put a damper on anything? But are you afraid of graduation?

I guess so in a sense, yes, But I'd rather do what I love, you know, than succumb to a job that I hate clocking into every day, because I feel like I would just end my shit.

So I'd rather be happy, Yeah.

Struggling, what what do you want to do? What's your dream film thing?

Writing, directing, character driven dramas, things like that. But I really like studying people, characters, things like that. I feel like life imitates art. You know, you and yourself are a character. You know, And I have a question for you. Because break out from getting the green face paint all the time?

No, I break out from eating shitty. I break out from having McDonald's every day. I don't break that makeup is There's a lot of variables as to why I might have acne, and I'm going to say that the makeup is not part of it.

Not part of it.

Okay, Yeah, good to know, appreciate that.

What's uh, what's it like being at NYU?

Is there?

Like, how's the community, how's the film scene?

It's pretty cool.

I'm very grateful to even be there, especially because, like I have a scholarship. But that does make me feel like certain people I can't mesh with because they're in a completely different tax.

Bracket than me. So oh okay, I just like sitting back and observing sometimes.

You know, do they make you watch because all right, I went to a film school, and I had a professor at film school who was I think he was about ninety eight years old and still around. He was like, okay, everyone watch, Uh, we're gonna watch Birth of a Nation by something Griffith. I think, okay, And we're all sitting there like, what the fuck are we paying tens of thousands of dollars? Like what are we doing here?

Yeah?

And is it still like that? Is it still like everyone's like, what are we doing here?

Yeah?

Certain times I remember vividly last semester we watched like a three hour film in a foreign language with no subtitles, and we were supposed to focus on the camera work, but I just had this moment of like.

What am I watching? Why am I here?

You know?

Would I be better somewhere else?

You know? Are you?

Are you from New York?

Would you guess that?

But vibe?

Do I give region?

I'm gonna guess. I wouldn't be surprised if you. Oh wait, you're wearing an NFL hat of some kind? Is that the Broncos?

Okay?

I don't know? From Denver? Denver rocks Man. It was a good time.

Yeah you've ever been?

Yeah, I've been I go to I've pretty much been to Denver like four or five times. I've done like some shows there. I've gone there just to hang out. And I've probably talked about this on the podcast before, but the first time I went to Denver, I stayed at the most awesome Airbnb of all time.

It was called Yeah, it was called Hostile Cush.

And it's like if the guy who sold you weed in high school turned his house into a hotel nice and you're just like in a basement with a bunch of people like smoking blunts inside.

It's pretty awesome. Yeah, shout out Hostel Cush.

I don't know if they're still around, but yeah, yeah, what uh?

What's what are you do?

You miss Denver?

No?

No, no, I missed the mountains, but I feel like I like New York a lot better. Yeah, there's more for me here, I would say, but that's subjective.

Yeah, there's less isolation.

Yeah, Yeah, there's more community here.

I would say, that's cool.

Yeah, you're making friends in college.

Yeah, I'm trying to say yes and succeeding.

Have you met any enemies?

Mmm?

Maybe, I don't know if they would call me their enemy, but there are some people who I'm like, Okay, you were raised very differently than I will.

Okay, but have you felt like, have you felt the presence of any shade?

Have you felt as though the presence of shade?

Ye?

Yes I have, Yes, I have.

And you know, like we're not naming names, we're not getting specific, but what is it that makes you feel a shade?

I feel like people see me and they might assume that I'm less competent than them because I'm in a different tax bracket, or because I'm a girl, or because you know, I'm black, And I feel like, I don't know. I don't want to think too much into it, so I try not to read into it. But I do feel like some people like mansplain certain things to me and they're.

Like, well, yeah, the Matrix was a movie centered around and I'm like, my name is Trinity. Like I've seen the Matrix before, Like you.

Know, I saw the Western name meaning Trinity. I mean I've never seen the Matrix. By the way, is there a character in a name Trinity?

Oh?

Okay, So a lot of film bros associate my name with the Matrix and then they try to man explain certain things to me.

But I don't know. I don't take that is necessarily offensive.

What's going on with the film bros?

Like?

Who?

Who are the film bros? These days?

What's going on with the film bros? That's a great question that I might want.

What's their movie? Because I had a big I was a film bro. I had a big poster of pulp fiction in my uh, in my dorm room.

So your descendants are still active today?

Okay?

And there are we still worshiping pulp fiction, Quentin, it's the post They're still around. Yes, have you been in a dorm room and seen pulp fiction posters? I have?

That makes me as happy as it makes me sad.

Really, you're a pulp fiction fan.

I haven't seen it in a long time, but you know, it's a good It was kind of fun to have it be like my identity for a little bit.

Yeah, I could see that.

Yeah, Pulp Fiction, American Psycho fight Club. Those are the top three film bro fanatic.

Do you do you fuck with those movies?

I mean they're not.

Bad, but I don't worship them. I don't have them printed out on every side of my dorm room.

To do you have a movie or a thing printed out on every side of your dorm room.

No, but I do like Sean Baker the Florida Project, Anora. I like that sort of genre of filmmaking.

But cool, cool, all right, final final.

Thing, finally answer, what's do you have a movie in the works? M if people? What's you had? Two named Trinity Trinity Rain?

So if people people are good?

This is the first appearance of the of the to be famous film director Trinity Rain.

What uh what? What's?

What's what's the what's the idea that people can be excited to see you on the screen from you soon? Well?

I write and direct.

I really like, you know, character driven dramas, and I'm just casting people all over from New York.

You don't have to act.

I love people who actually emit the character that I'm writing. So sometimes I might make a film and write a certain character into it. But I mean, am I okay to plug my Instagram?

Yeah?

Go plug away, go crazy.

Trin two like the number two cosmic trind to cosmic on Instagram if you care. My page is not as cool as the real geck go.

You gotta get and I by the hold on, I'm about to give really hypocritical advice Okay, I'm listening, but you gotta get a less fucked up user name because once you because once you start having to be like, it's Trinity with uh, there's a period here, and there's two and there's an underscore.

Mine is Lyle for I always have to go It's Lyle forever.

But the four is a four?

Yeah, you know, but throws them off a little bit.

Yeah.

Is Trinity Grace taken?

I keep saying to get that today every variation is taken. There's one girl who has Trinity Rain, but she hasn't been active in like five ten years. So I wanted to find her business email and be like, I will cash at you just for the rights to that user name.

She's gone. She's a ghost.

Hey what about Rain Wilson.

Rain Wilson, Where does the Wilson come from?

Let you know, from the office?

Ah? Maybe? But is that impostor?

Like?

Am I impersonating? Would you think? Because that's not me? I'm not Wilson. What do you think My last question for you? What do you think my suld be?

What I think your name should be? Trinity Rain Wilson. I bet that's not taken. I bet that's not taken. I bet Trinity Rain Wilson is not all right, so you can follow her on Trinity tea Trinity but with two's instead of the entities. Yes, or and if she's not there, maybe she changed it to Trinity.

Rain will Wilson. I'll let you know.

Rain.

Thank you very much by Trinity Raim of course.

Have a seat.

Hello, sir, have a seat, Have a seat. What is your name?

My name is Sava.

Sava. Yeah, what what's the origin of that?

It's from Serbia. I'm from Serbia.

Oh cool?

Are were you born there? Uh?

No, I was born in Florida. My parents are Serbian.

O savak you a favorite hold it like a little bit closer.

Yeah, and then I moved to Serbia when I was nine years old.

What's lifelike in Serbia?

Uh, It's really good. It's actually very peaceful. Right now, we're having some problems with corruption. There's a lot of protest going on, okay, but usually it's very nice.

Actually, so I guess coming from I'm curious about this, Not to get into a bunch of shit, but I am curious coming from a place that is having like its own issues with like corruption and the government and like protests and stuff. Do you look at America like that's nothing, or do you look at America like, oh, you guys, I see what's some shit's going down?

Yeah, I think there's shit going down here. I think think the difference is here they do it somehow, like legally, let's say, for example, lobbying. Yeah, it's like, you know, a corporation sponsors a politician to push their agenda. Whereas there it's like, you know, a guy pays the guy under the table so he can illegally construct a building or something.

So we're doing the same thing that's going on in Serbia, but we're doing it. We've created a system where it's legal.

In a way. Yeah, I would say that, Yeah, what.

Brought you here to the States?

I came here for modeling and acting.

Modeling and acting, Yes, sir, Okay, that's pretty cool. What how's the modeling industry?

It's good, the modeling industry, it's it's interesting. Yeah, I guess it varies from different perspectives. I would say that I didn't really like if I could put it in two ways, there's the guy who wanted to be or girl who wanted to be a model, and then so they take it very serious. And then there's also the ones that got stopped on the street and kind of got into it, and then they don't take it as serious.

And which one is you?

The second one?

Second one? Okay, see one doesn't take it as serious.

Yeah.

I feel like you can see in the face, Like you can see in the face of the model who's the most serious. Because if someone's doing like a real serious model face, like they're opposing for Vogue or whatever. Yeah, but like if someone like like I was in Target and the people wearing those clothes they're just laughing, you can tell they're having a good time. I know it's posed that way, but I do still believe that they're just they just were having a good time when they were smiling and laughing.

Yeah. Yeah, my target pay is probably much higher than those high fashioned brands pay. Surprisingly.

What kind of who? What kind of like clients have you modeled for?

Uh?

I've modeled for a few. I'd say the one that I take the most pride in would be Polo. Ralph Lourenzo a model for Polo. Yeah, did they give you free shit? Everybody asked that no free underwear? Because I came in boxers, and they were like, you know, you can't be wearing random boxers. So they give you, like, you know, polo underwear. But no, but the people who do work for them get a fifty percent discount. But but I technically am like a free lance so I technically don't.

So what's your hinge look like? Does a crash your phone every time you open it?

Actually I haven't had hinge in a long time. I'm going to show you something I think you'll like this. Okay, please, this is my phone you have a clan.

For for those on audio this this guy is a bedazzled flip phone. Wow.

Holy shit?

Is that?

And that's what you've been rocking with. That's what I've been rocking with, the bedazzle flip phone.

I think it's about four months now. I do. I don't want to, you know, say I don't have I do have an Android phone at home when I need to use Instagram and stuff like that, I still have it. But this is what I carry around for my everyday use. Wow. And yeah, and.

So what made you decide to downgrade or get a second pune?

I think, uh, the main thing was was actually a little bit of nostalgia because when I was younger in Serbia, I had a Nokia and I also been dazzled it, and I just kind of missed that era of when I was, when I was a kid and I didn't really care about about you know, those certain things. Yeah, and so I decided to go back to it. This one though, it has touch screen, it has Google Maps. What's up? An email? So I can still get my work done without you know, having to use a smartphone.

That one has Google Maps.

It does?

It's that seems so annoying to use Google Map. Yeah, it's type on it? Is it like you actually have to hit like one two three?

You can do one two three. But it's touch screen as well, so you can you can do like the little keypad on the touch screen.

But no Instagram, porn, no redit.

Well you could probably watch porn on it, but it has Google but I personally don't watch porn on on my flip phone.

Good for you, now, what how do you you do you feel because a lot of people they have the fear, myself included of like, okay, if I'm not carrying around my phone with me at all times, how am I going to be connected to the world.

How do you But okay, so you have a skateboard, right?

Yeah?

Are you so you're a skater, sir?

Is the skate world just like if I show up to this physical location, I know that there will be friends and people like that.

That is kind of exactly what it's what it's like, you know, shout out to skateboarding because wherever I've traveled in the world, if I brought my skateboard with me, I was able to meet a local person. I was able to be introduced to the culture, to the cool spots. And I think if I didn't have a skateboard, it would be harder to integrate into certain, you know, places when I visited them.

So that's what you need.

Everyone needs their metaphorical skateboard.

Yep.

You know that can kind of connect you wherever you go because whenever you're like, hobby is it's cool because it's I mean, most hobbies are kind of represented around the world, whether it's like fucking, you know, kickball or whatever, and you kind of find your way to pick your spots in it. What how long you've been skating for about eight years? How have you fucked You're gotten fucked up?

I've gotten fucked up. Thank god, I haven't broken anything, but but yeah, I mean every single time I go out, I get a little fucked up. The worst thing so far I've got fucked up is my back. Yeah it's still a little bit fucked up now, but yeah, only only like twisted ankles where I'm out for like two months and stuff like that. But surprisingly it it's kind

Yeah. Yeah, have you've had that part where you're like, I'm gonna do everyone watch this, I'm gonna do a backflip and your skateboards like nope.

Yeah. Yeah. Usually it's when I see a group of cute girls, for example, and then and then it's I won't even try anything crazy, but you know, karma or whatever you want to call it just just kicks in and then you just spill right in front of them and then kind of get a little embarrassed and put in your place.

Yeah, how's your dating life in New York.

Yeah, it's not that good.

No, are you, like, are you going on dates or anything?

Yeah, I've been on it. Actually I was supposed to go on a date two days ago. It was a very nice date. We planned to go to the Botanical gardens, Wow, which are beautiful. I met the girl here in Washington Square Park and last minute she did this weird thing. She sent me a message. She said, let's play a game with the universe. Are you ready for this? Play a game with the universe. We're not going to go on the date tomorrow, but if we see each other

That's that's an awesome line. Yeah, let's play a game with the universe. If we see each other again, it's meant to be.

Yeah.

Yeah, but she's gonna get fucked because what if she sees you again? Yeah, let's play another another game. We see each other a third time?

Yeah, and I'm wearing a pink.

Hat, and I happen to be wearing a pink hat, and.

Then it's meant to be. Yeah, I don't know. But then my friend he told me, he said, you should value yourself and not really let it get to And then he came last minute, he clocked out of his job. Shout out, rafa. He clocked out of his job and came with me to the botanical gardens. So I didn't go alone because I bought the tickets and everything.

So wow, you got, you got, dude. The scre is he's a skater, skater, skate community. It seems like it looks out for each other.

We do, We try to, you know, I mean, as in every community. Sometimes you know, you get you get a douchebag here and there, but but mostly we're cool guys who kind of you know, you know. There's it's nice.

It's nice.

So I'll ask you a couple more questions before you get out of here. What's your what's your dream in life?

Sir?

What do you want to do with yourself?

Well, actually I was listening to the last girl. I also want to do writing and and make a movie. It's kind of my dream let's just say, make one movie.

One movie. Yeah, they're actually are you familiar with the movie? A serbian film?

Oh my god, don't ever watch that. Don't ever watch that movie. Yeah, but I mean, yeah, you can make.

A serbian film too, and it's just people hugging.

For an hour and a half.

That's a that's a really good idea actually, because you know, if you can imagine the opposite of people hugging for an hour and a half, that's kind of a good way to explain the.

Opposite of people hugging for an hour and a half.

Well, yeah, in the worst type of a way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, not a good not a good movie at all.

But but yeah, nice man.

Well, uh, let's see from how long have we been going for? Forty two?

Okay, you got a time limit on this.

No, I'm trying to get to an hour, I would say, okay, yeah, I feel like I have more things I want to ask you.

How about mom against marijuana? Oh?

Yeah, a mom a mom against marijuana.

Are you a weed guy?

You know, I smoke weed. Lately, I haven't been smoking as much because and this is a shared experience with a lot of people that I've heard is at one point it stopped making them feel giggly and happy and it started making them feel like paranoid and anxious. Oh yeah, I don't know.

You haven't gotten there yet.

No. I did get there, which is why I took it down a little bit.

Yeah.

But for example, when it comes to things like writing, yeah, I feel like it helps me sometimes real though, so I'll like, I'm more of a when I get home and I'm alone, I'll smoke a spliff and it helps you. Yeah. Sometimes that's really cool.

When I was in high school and college and still a little bit now, I had because you see, like Seth Rogen and like Snoop Dogg and Kevin Smith and all these guys who and you have this thought in your head that's so dumb, where you're like, I'm going to get high and then I will magically and then because I got high, I will magically, effortless, effortlessly create something awesome.

Yeah.

Then you realize it doesn't it doesn't, yeah, And then you get high, you get anxious yeah.

Yeah yeah, or you know it's up there somewhere, but you can't write it out because you're just so high. It's just like you know, yeah, but it works, it works, it works. It works for me. It's more of a like to get that idea, where then when I actually want to get down and write, it's more like in the morning, drink of coffee and write it. But but for the idea, I like to get high your ear.

Get high and model or you like, wy are my thumbs lately?

No, When I was when I was younger, I would when I first got into it, I would smoke, like on the lunch break, I'd smoke a little split. But then again then it didn't hit me like that. Then it would just be like, you know, I would just kind of be there. It wasn't that bad. Now, I feel like if I were to get high at a job, I would definitely be like, you know, does this guy know I'm high? Am I doing something wrong? You know what I mean? I'd be way up in my head and it wouldn't be good at all.

Where can the people? Where can the people find you? Do you want the people to find you?

Yeah? I guess you can find me. My name is Sava s A v A. My last my last name is kind of hard Suvacharov s u v A c A r O V and that's my Instagram, my modeling instagram. But yeah, I mean, if you want to find me, you can. But I'm trying to actually do a transition to to writing and acting. So if you need an actor, you can find me. If you need a model, maybe you can find someone else.

Well, well, what's your name?

What's your name?

I'm Lyle Lyle all right?

Oh yeah, you said it when you said your Instagram name.

You just said your name and I asked you I have I have pretty bad short term memory.

You think it's from smoking weed?

Probably?

Probably? Yea, you ever did mushrooms before?

Yeah, but I'm trying to I'm trying to be just a coffee guy now. Yeah, coffee and uh Reese's cups. But that's it for me. Nice to meet you.

Have a good rest of your entire life.

Brother, you too.

Let's see who wants to talk? Come sit down here, you have a seat you The people couldn't hear it, but she just said, oh my god, this is so fancy.

I mean, I wasn't expecting like a whole setup.

This is not I'm if if this is your I gotta say, if this is your, like, what's the word, what's the barometer for a fancy then you're gonna have an awesome life. You're you're easy to make happy, it would seem I appreciate that. What's your name, I'm Hannah, Hannah Lyleice to meet you. What's what's uh? What's the worst thing in the world right now? You think? What's what's horrible? What's horrible?

I don't want to actually talk about it?

Okay, all right, all right?

Probably politics?

Right?

Sure?

Sure, sure, yeah, what's uh? What's going on with you?

Hannah?

I have a lot of mid terms this week, so I'm I'm I'm drowning in work.

Yeah, you don't have to do it?

What midterms?

Yeah?

I mean, you're right, I don't. I don't have to do anything.

You don't have to do You don't have to do anything. Yeah, you can just let you know. What I've always wondered is like, all right, you see like that spot over there about like sometimes I'll do that, but be like, how long could I just stand there before I'm physically removed?

And then where are they going to.

Physically How like if you decide to stiffen up, right, like eventually the police will come to move you or whatever, But then wherever they move you.

What if you just stiffen up there?

Like, how how long can you actually literally not do anything?

I guess eventually you starve to death.

But I guess so.

But I guess that's what I'm kind of trying right now here, sitting with you instead of studying.

So what what do you study?

Economics?

Okay? Are we fucked like from your like from like a text book and analysis? Because I've never read an economics textbook.

Maybe in the like next decade, i'd say, I'm not gonna lie, I'm not I'm a sophomore.

I don't know what. Okay, you think we're fucked for the next decade, but after that we'll be Okay, I'll keep I'll.

Keep a pull, and I'm gonna i'll keep track of.

What's going on into tariffs should we do tariffs?

Oh?

I heard that's a political tactic for Do you listen to the Daily?

No, you should listen to the it's a political tactic. Yeah, okay, so he so he's got a strategy.

Yeah, it's like I mean, it's like economics.

Sorright, So he's not just he's not just doing random ship you think he's got like a plan.

Well wait, I'm not I'm not sure. I'm not sure, but I listened to a good daily podcast about it.

Okay, yeah, that's cool. We can just repeat what was going on on that podcast. I'm gonna spread misinformation, so that's okay. Look, this is the perfect podcast to spread misinformation on because anyone who takes any information from this show and then goes out and it's like I learned what tariffs are from the Talking Gecko Show, It's like.

All right, well you fucked yourself.

Anyway, I really don't.

I don't want to be the one to give the false information.

What do you do with your time away from the economics?

You know? I actually came out here to journal.

Yeah, your journal a lot like I.

Just started, and I'm getting into like pilates Okay, like everyone's doing that.

I guess what what do you? What do you plan to journal about today?

Probably how stressed I am about my test coming up? Okay, but this is a good this is a good outlet too, I guess.

Okay, alternative Okay, what uh? I'm also avid journaler. I've been journaling for like eight years. I got like eight years of journals and here's the problem with journals is it journals call you out in a very specific way, because what's gonna is is, if you journal long enough, something very scary happens. Okay, so well, okay, Well it's a double edged sord. It's a double unch sword because you'll read a journal from five years ago, okay, and

It'll call you out because you'll be like.

You'll look back and be like, oh crap, I still have these issues from five years ago. Some of them linger, but some of them will change and go away. But it's good to have some documentation of what was bothering you or what you wanted at some point in your life and then compare it to your life now.

I also think it it's a I think overall it's a positive thing. It's a positive thing, and like when you look back on it, it's like, oh, it gives you more ease because you'll know that, like whatever you're going through later, like oh, this is not going to be as significant to me the next year or something, right, right, right, So I don't know. I have to try it out and I'll wait five years and see if that works.

But yeah, I don't know.

Nothing has happened yet, so i'll try.

I'll try. I'll try to do that to journal.

But yeah, all right, so our tariffs good or bad?

This is gonna be on the test.

Can I give a no answer?

Please?

Could you give a no no answer? Okay, you plead the fifth.

I'm afraid I'm gonna say something wrong.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, I could say the tariffs are good, the tariffs are bad. And then but there's plausible deniability. Yeah, because if someone I guess, there's plausible deniability because nothing, nothing's real or matters.

Wow, well I think that for me at least, like when I go on social media and I see like a lot of things spread and in my classes and stuff we all learned about how like oh, you shouldn't listen to these podcasts and you shouldn't read.

This on the news, and you shouldn't do this.

So like it makes it like really scary to like say what you want to say, because then it's like I don't want to tribute to someone else thinking something wrong because of my misconception of something I don't really know about.

But I think that isn't that like life? Isn't that how we come to a content. Everyone just says stuff and we kind of vote on what reality is.

It's kind of a vote, right, Like.

You can say, like you, I feel like you have to do like some sort of like research or like fact checking before you.

Facts.

Facts are a vote in a sense, right, Like, Okay, we like it's a fact. I'm pretty sure I just ranted about this on on on the last podcast I put out, but I I'm gonna do it again, Like the sky is blue? Right, Okay, but how did that become a fact?

It was?

It was kind of democratically decided and then grandfathered into everyone's minds through through brainwashing that the sky is blue.

Okay, But then that causes some loopholks, and you're like, okay, it's blue is blue?

Who who decided blue was blue?

What about like the color like the word, the phonetic whatever pronunciation of blue?

Like who said that?

And I could sit here, Oh yeah, I was arguing with the guy about truth, and I could sit here, and I could say the sky is green, and I have I have a vote. You know, I that is my vote. It's not my vote. I'll I'll go ahead and concede, or actually I'll abstain. I don't really give a fuck what color the sky is. But if my vote is that the sky is green, that's still my vote. I'm I'm vastly outvoted by by textbooks, by society, by

I guess you're right.

My vote just.

Doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, Right.

It's not.

It's just gonna be.

No one's gonna agree with you, right, no one's gonna agree with me. But I still get my vote. In my own reality, because reality is I guess, the sum total of everyone's subjective idea of it sort of right.

Yeah, I mean you're right, just and then but and it's like if you think like that, then it's like, okay, so what's the fact and what's what's not a fact?

Is fact the real truth?

You shouldn't think about it too much. You should just kind of dude, yesterday, this doesn't mean anything. But I had to say is yesterday I went in to a I went to Target, and I was like, and I asked the guy at the store if he knew where something was, and I was like, I am. I am so deeply entrenched in reality right now, and it feels awesome. So you should do stuff like that instead of wondering what color the sky is?

You know, sorry, how did that relate to the color of the sky.

Because it's like you could sit around questioning reality and wondering what color the sky is, or you can, like, or you can go to a store and ask someone where the where bottled water is and then go home and do dishes and then call your friend and tell them about a television show that you saw, and you can just just accept just like keep acceptance of whatever life is, and without thinking about it, you'll have a way better time.

I guess that's what I'm saying.

I agree with that. I feel like I would do that.

What's your name again, Hannah?

Hannah?

Hannah's anything else you wants to the people of the computer before we.

Go, No, I just want to ask you how you got into this?

Uh today, I got into this. Bye, just on the suit.

Yeah, by putting on the suit, coming out here and setting up microphones and stuff. Nice. Thanks for talking to a gecko Hanks. Thanks see you around the universe.

Bye, Hannah. Hi, what is your name?

My name is Scott.

Scott.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

You're uh, you look very clean.

Thank you. Yeah. I try to, I don't know, try to dress a nice.

How often do you do laundry?

I do laundry, like I guess, like once every six days.

Probably laundry once every six days.

Yeah.

Well it's like I just have the one hamper and it's like once it gets like reasonably full, just throw the laundry in. Just do it like one load at a time.

God.

That's I was just talking about being in reality and not wondering what the sky was and you, I'm that's doing laundry six days a week is deep in in reality and I have so much respect for that, and that's awesome, and I think I'm doing my best.

I think I disagree listening in on your on your take about facts. I think I disagree with your take about the facts.

And you know what, you know what, that's your vote to disagree.

Well, this is why you can't disagree, because your disagreement is a vote.

Well, I think I agree with why vote? Okay, go ahead, go ahead?

What's your name?

My name is Scott.

Scott. Okay.

I think there's a difference between facts that like are have like a foundation in human experience. Yeah, there can be like a disagreement on like how often is the And I guess that's even getting into opinion. But like if you're asking, like you know, the fact of like will styrofoam dissolve in like a certain acid? You can, you can vote no, but your vote isn't gonna change the syrophoam.

Yeah you can.

You can sit there and watch it and sure, but.

I can, but what is styrofoam?

Well, I mean I guess, yeah, you can get into this the you know, you can be pedantic about what counts as styrophoam. Yeah, sure, if we can agree on like a constraint of like what the chemical compound of styrofoam.

Is, Okay, okay, acid? So you're this is hilarious that we're gonna I don't what I'm having. I'm having fun having I'm having fun being an insane person right now.

What.

Okay?

So, yes, you're correct, It doesn't change the reality that skyrofoam does dissolve an acid. But what if everyone just said it didn't, Well, then who It's like the tree a tree falls in a forest, no one's around to hear it.

Does the tree still fall?

Yeah?

And I mean everybody can say that, but that still won't change. Like I think there is like an objective reality side of us, where like even if everybody says that it won't, when they drop the styrofoam cup in, it's still going to disappear.

I still vote that it won I still I still I still believe that ignorance is a powerful serum that you can really really really you know all right, you're right, well, and you're right you know what you you know what you're doing right now? Is your lobbying you're lobby or no, you're not living, you're not loving.

I'm sorry, that's the wrong way. You're campaigning campaigning.

You're campaigning that styrofoam will dissolve an acid, and you're doing it very successful well.

And I think the problem is that's a very easy thing to test and to verify, whereas most facts are not easy to take.

So testing and would you testing and verifying is also it's a form of campaigning.

For the truth. It's true what you believe to be true.

Well, and it's less like campaigning for what you believe. But I think it's you know, more useful too, especially for like the scientific method. It's it's a campaign and more just like a form of discovery, is like because you can campaign on like some you know, truths that are a lot more you know, very difficult or impossible to test.

But what do you what do you do outside of what do you what do you.

Do with your life? Scott?

I am in law school?

You're in law school?

Yes?

Okay, so this is your bread and butter is arguing facts and truth?

It sure is?

And what's uh? Are you in law school at NYU? I? Sure am grad or undergrad?

Oh grid, Oh cool, yeah, what what's what's what's that like?

Oh?

It's fun, it's a it sure is a lot of work. Yeah, it's a yeah. I you know, I you go to undergrad and you think you work hard, and then you go to law school and you're like, wow, okay, now I know what working hardly?

What do you do for fun? When that when the books are away and you're.

I come out here. I love this park. It's great, but it's an amazing park. I love that there's just like jazz. I can come out and listen whenever I want. It's beautiful.

Yeah. Now law is an interesting thing.

I hate that I'm going back to this, but I it's just this is where I'm being to law, is it now? Law is much more subjective? Oh yeah right?

Oh yeah, Like I like.

I could argue that murder should be legal. Yeah, and that's my vote. Oh yeah, you know, but there's and there's no objective it's not there's no objective fact as to whether or not murder is wrong.

Yeah. Well, and you can even argue, like you can look at a statute and you can essentially argue that that statute says whatever you want it to say, yeah, and courts will try to be like, yeah, we're starting with the text. But even if like even somebody who's saying like, oh yeah, this is based in the text, yeah, a lot of the time it's they're arguing what they want the text.

Does that make you feel uncomfortable? Like, all right, you know, here's the thing I was I'm mainly trolling when I'm having when I'm saying that reality is, I'm I'm fifty percent trolling when I say that reality is. Uh, trolling doesn't mean I don't believe, but whatever, you know what, I'm sorry say yeah, But doesn't it make you a little uncomfortable to know that like laws and these institutions

Yeah, yeah, we've I think we as people are pretty good at maintaining these institutions and these ideas. In a lot of situations. But I mean we can see now like these things are fragile.

Yeah, if you can just what if it wasn't your way to becoming the president?

Yeah? Yeah, the yeah, the administrative state is a fun thing to be watching at the moment, particularly fragile.

But what do you do when you're not well? So you you just you come to the park.

Do you have I like to sing?

You like to sing?

Yeah?

What do you say?

I'm in like the law school a cappella group, which is like an undergrad a cappella group. But you know, we don't have the time that the undergrad groups do. We do our best.

Do you read a lot of books?

I read some books. I'm reading House of Leaves at the moment.

Why do I know what that is? What is that about?

It's like a haunted house book kind of. It's also like a satire on academia. It's insane to try to read it. There's footnotes and footnotes and footnotes. There's text in all going in all different directions at certain points. It's a it's a journey, but it's fun.

Have you ever gone insane or do you feel like you've been pretty attached to reality?

I think I've been pretty attached to reality.

What do you think? What do you think there?

I I think I've just been lucky. I think in a lot of cases, sure, not a lot, like really horrible has happened to me, which I feel like, you know, just just luck.

Nothing horrible has ever happened to you?

Yeah?

Nothing, nothing real bad.

Do you ever feel like.

I I've I'm not well. Do you ever feel like if something horrible has ever happened to you? You ever just like you ever like that in and of itself, You're kind of like, I'm waiting for.

The shoe to drive hundred percent.

I'm waiting for this because well, in New York City, you walk around and every day you see people who are like, horrible things have clearly happened to this person.

Yeah, why am I? Why not? Why are they happening to this person and not me?

Yeah? Oh yeah, I feel that way all the time.

And you're like, what you gotta It's like uh, and part of you, like part of your brain goes like, I'm not getting out of this alive. I'm not getting out of this. Nobody gets out of this perfectly. So you're a little bit waiting for the shoot to drop.

Oh, yeah, it's it's gonna be something at some point.

Yeah, what are you thinking that you're gonna get robbed, You're gonna get back?

What do I think it's gonna be. No, I think it's gonna be.

Like you would.

I feel like you would make a great like isis hostage?

I I yeah, I feel like I've had I've had nightmares about like getting kidnapped, and it's always very amicable.

Like it's like you convinced that.

It's always like it's.

Like we're just like we just kind of like having a conversation in the back of the truck as we're like they're taking me to the location, but we're just talking. It's it's yeah, it's it's amicable in the sense of like I'm not like happy with where I'm at, but it's also like I'm not like screaming, crying, They're not beating me up.

Like it's just.

I think that's probably how it would go down. I think I like i'd be I'd be nervous, but at a certain point, like once I've accepted that there's nothing I can do to get out of the situation, it's like, well, I mean I'm I don't know what they're doing with me, but I guess I'll just chat with them. Yeah, I gotta make the best of the situation that I'm in.

We all have that fan We all have that fantasy of like, if I were like being held at gunpoint, I could just look at the guy and be like, hey man, what's this really about? Oh yeah, we all. I totally have that fantasy that like I could. I used to have a fantasy where like, uh, I would be someone would like help me at gunpoint, right, and to get out of it, I would just take off all my clothes and start spinning around and going ah. And then they would be like this, this this, this

I also have that instinct of like, yeah, I just have to out crazy. Whoever is like trying to mug me on that cold Could you could you really do that? I think I probably could.

Yeah, yeah, what would you do?

What?

How would you go crazy?

I think, well, yeah, I'd probably just start moving weird. I'd be making bird noises, I'd be getting up in their face.

Okay, yeah, but like fight, because the fight or flight response, you feel like you could do that.

That's the thing I think because this has kind of happened to me. It was one time I was I was in a Walmart waiting for like an oil change, and I realized that I was being followed around by this guy like he'd been following me around the store for like fifteen minutes. I just started walking in circles and realized that he was following me. Yeah, And I was thinking in my head the whole time, like what am I? What am I gonna do to this guy?

What, wow, Okay, this guy was fun. Here's the thing.

How long maybe you guys just both like Dorito's how do you know that he was? This was This was.

Fifteen minutes of me walking in a circle and him being like about as close as we are now behind me.

Why did you talk?

Here's the thing. It's like you're telling me if you were a kidnapp isis you talked to that? Why don't you talk to this guy? Like like you had no instinct to turn around and be like, well, man.

I didn't.

I didn't want to be like, hey, what's up?

Man?

I was at least turn around, yeah, make a friend.

He didn't. He didn't look like a friend to me. He was kind of heirs.

Yeah, talk to him.

But also, if somebody's gonna like follow me around in a Walmart real close, I'm like, Chris Man wants to Like, this man's trying to take me. I'm pretty small, but like, I don't know. I was like, if I'm gonna if I'm gonna do something, it's gotta This needs to be a defense mechanism.

There's a little bit of relief to being taken. Don't you think you don't have to make decisions anymore? That's true?

Yeah, I would.

I would have.

I would have in a sense, fewer problems in quantity.

Yeah, you weirdly, you weirdly have fewer problems in they It.

Might be a bigger problem but it is certainly fewer.

Yeah, well, I hope you don't get kidnapped by isis.

I hope I don't get kidnapped by I hope.

That you die at a very old age. Me too, as a lawyer.

As a lawyer, and I kind of I I my gut ain't worth much, but I I just I really think that you will continue to live a life where nothing horrible happens to you. I'm out now, but we'll see.

As I'm walking over, I'll just get like, I don't know, like ten birds are gonna poop on me at the same time, and that'll be the That'll be the love.

If that's the most horrible thing that ever happens to you in your life, that I will take that.

I'll take that right now if that's if that's the worst.

Got anything else gonna say to the people of the computer before we go.

I don't know.

Enjoy yourself, have a good time, go outside.

Scott, Thank you, Scott. Yeah, I'll see you, Uh the sport. I don't know why I said that's that? Wasn't that funny?

All right?

Bye? Scott? Hi there, what is your name?

Anna?

Anna?

Nice to meet you.

What's up? How's it going.

It's good.

I like your hat, thank you.

I like your gi look.

Thanks Doug.

What's uh?

What's been the most persistent thought on your mind lately?

Ooh oh?

I just so I am in school right now and I just left the closet about sex, gender and justice. Okay, So I've been reading a lot about intersectional feminist theory.

So I've been thinking a.

Lot about that. Okay, exciting stuff. What's the what's all right? Intersexual? Intersexual? Say that again?

Intersectional feminist?

Intersectional gender feminist? What's the main idea? Give us the gist.

It's kind of looking at like structures of power that have been historically been put in place and how they benefit men, like the patriarchy or like supremacy. So the intersectional side of it is looking at like raised gender, like class, and the feminist side of it is bringing more like acknowledgment to like the position of subjugation that like women, and the idea like how we even understand and define what woman is has been developed in society.

Sure, Sure, and that's that is the thing. Like there's it's an open idea of like what is a woman? Which it kind of goes I don't know if you listen to me rant, but sometimes it is I was. I was just ranting about reality. No, no, I was just ranting about reality being a democracy.

Yeah, I got that idea.

I agree it goes because like what what's the roll of paper towels? You know, exactly whatever whatever we assigned to it.

It's so yeah, but I don't know.

Some people are like, uh, facts are facts and fucking styrofoam dissolves in acid, and uh, but I don't know. I don't know. Ship what do you? What do you do?

What do you? What do you?

Is this what you study?

So?

I did be here real neuroscience and anthropology before, and I'm doing forensic psychology.

Now, okay, what's going on in forensic psychology.

I'm very interested in kind of like how intersects with culture and how we define like what is considered abnormal behavior, what is considered criminal behavior, and how just subjective of.

This we were. I was just talking about whether or not murders should be legal.

That's this question.

Do you think it should be legal?

In what sense?

I feel like everything is very contact dependent and I feel like some people define abortion.

I would disagree with that, all right, you see that you see that guy over there. If I shouldn't a point, I should not have pointed at a specific person. If I but like, if I pointed at a guy and I was like, I don't like that guy, I'm gonna go kill him.

Like, you shouldn't be able to do that.

I don't think so, because you can just walk away. You cannot interact with that guy without having to kill him.

Wait, that's why I feel like you shouldn't be able to do it, because it's he's I mean, this guy seems like a nice guy. I don't want to kill him. He looks really nice, smile, and I don't feel bad that I pointed at him and said, but it's not true. I don't want to kill him. But what I But if I did, I should go to jail. Right If I kill a guy, I think you.

Probably should go through some transformative justice process more than jail, because I feel like just going to jail he's not really gonna change the impulse you had to kill him in the first place. So once you come out of jail, you might as well just do the same thing.

Sure, yeah, sure, what So Okay, let's say there's a guy and he's like, see that guy over there, I'm gonna kill him with a knife. Okay, I'm gonna stab him over and over again, this guy only because I'm not just for no reason, just for fun, just to see what it feels like, for just to see what it feels like, it for the sake of it. Okay, So then from what you from your belief, how do we get what should happen to that guy? Should we is it should we punish him because he killed a guy?

I think we should talk to him and figure out what made him want to kill someone and kind of like understand why do we find life so valuable? Why do we find that so ominous and so like tele and then like go from there, like see what his impulses are, and like it's probably something underlying more about himself more than so much about the guy he ended up killing.

Right, we gotta figure that out?

Yeah, Yeah, what what do you think it is that makes people want to kill people for no reason?

I think for some people he's like feeling control. I feel like a lot of people feel over it, just like subjects of society and like kind of like things are imposed onto us. It's like a claim of like oh I'm just radically gonna do something and like it's gonna have consequences, but I did it.

Why people like light fires and shoot?

Yeah, just feeling control?

I think, yeah, yeah, interesting interesting, Yeah, because it is like right, okay, right, because let's say you want to change the world, like to do it to to change the world pro socially is like way more effort, I agree, than to change the world anti socially, because it's like like the actual process of like killing someone or lighting a building on fire is easier than like writing a.

Sitting down and processing how you feel about it.

Yeah, yeah, sitting Like it's way easier than like writing a sonnet.

Yeah, it's easier.

It's easier than writing.

Like a good sonnet.

I guess. Yeah.

I don't know if what I said is actually true. I think so. I think it makes sense. Like what's what's harder? Like like painted, Like I'm talking like in a all right, Like if you were putting a white room with nothing in it. Yeah, and you there's a paint brush on an easel and a knife and a guy with a stupid face, and it was like, all right, to get out of the room, you have to either kill the guy with the stupid face or paint a

I it's more easy to agree that, like when he's dead, it's easy to agree that he's dead.

How great that.

This guy is dead is easier than the consensus that the painting is beautiful? Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, what would you do in that case?

What I do?

Yeah, i'd.

I would kill the guy and then make a beautiful painting with his blood. Said that, but yeah, there we go, somebody, yes, clap for that. Yes, that's a great thing to say that people should flat for.

What would you do?

What you do?

How about stop myself?

Yeah?

I guess you could do that. That's that's that's good. That's that's you know what that is The easiest, easiest is to just kill yourself, but not how to deal with it.

Yeah, then you don't have to deal with it.

I mean that's the easiest solution process wise to anything. Yeah, you know, that's way easier than get what's the there's a giving up swhite harder than the giving ups easier than trying. Yeah, I was about a quota. I think that's a Kanye bar giving up white harder than trying. But it's not. It's that's wrong. Yeah, that's wrong. That's one of many wrong Yeah things.

I mean there's some things that like, are you that suicide is kind of like holding onto hope that like some people kill themselves hoping that he's gonna be better, and it's just it's nothing, it's not better.

It's like suicide's not holding onto hope.

Right, I also think it's not holding onto hope.

But I'm just saying alive is holding onto hop Yeah.

But I know, like Albert Kamu like talks about like suicide in like very like the same terms as like hope. It's like people like hope that there's the only way they see change possible is by ending their lives and hoping that like we don't know what happens after life, so like it's kind of like taking a gamble.

Yeah yeah, but also you don't.

Well that's the thing is you're gonna find out at one point or another.

Will we Yeah, you find out, okay.

Because you die and then you find out, but.

You're not conscious. So are you finding out what happens if you're not conscious?

That's true?

Yeah, yeah, people around you find out. We know what that is because people around us, well.

People around you find out what happens when you die, which is that there's a funeral and maybe it's catered and there's something this charcuterie board.

And very expensive.

Yeah.

What what do you want for your funeral?

Do you want the.

Do you want to be like put in a jar?

I want to be given to nature. I want like trees to eat me and like become food for the environment.

That's cool. Yeah, that's cool. Why what's your name again?

Anna?

Anna? Why should people live?

Anna?

Oh that's a heavy question.

Sorry, that's a lot to put on you.

I'm just I don't you don't need to have an answer, but I'm just curious what you think because you've studied.

I think we don't really choose to become alive, and an unconsensual choice that he's put onto us might as well just try it out and see what he feels like. Yeah, sure, and play with it because we don't really have an option around it.

And then if you tune out of it. That's I'm not I'm not super anti suicide. I don't know, controversial.

Oh man, yeah, yeah, well I don't. I look all right, I'll bounce it out. I think, give it a shot. Here's the thing I can think of because like, oh, there's a ball, a ball almost rolled it. That's my worst fear. That's my worst fear of all time. That would be my thirteenth. Reason why it's my worst fear of all time is that like I'm near like a playground or whatever, and there's.

A bunch of like cool.

You have to throw it back, and the ball comes near me and I have to like kick it back. I'm so afraid that I'm gonna kick it the wrong way and then I have to go into the woods and get it.

I've seen someone do that. They like kick get into a tree, and they ruined the day for the rest of the people playing that night.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's the situation in which I'm not. I'm also totally not anti suicide. It's yeah, context dependent. But now here's my Okay, here's my argument is there's so many different things you could try before you do that. I mean, knitting.

Exactly, you know, or like disappearing and started on your life somewhere else. Might as well try that.

You might as well try there's so many different things you your brain only has access to the reality that it's that it's experienced thus far.

Yeah, so you might as well try some new ship.

Yeah, and there's infinite That's the thing is you could, like, there's inxact things to try until you turn eighty or whatever.

The huges.

So just keep infinitely trying. And you might because I'll take a maybe over.

A no exactly. Yeah, you never know.

There's so many choosing might as well just see what what happens.

You just keep choosing maybe.

Yeah, Yeah, I agree.

I like that, Just keep choosing maybe, would you eat today? Anything?

I don't know why I have this problem.

I think I I think it started since I've been doing this podcast of like I just have to turn every fucking conversation to some esoteric whatever the fuck thing. I was. I was around, uh, these group of guys. I've told this story on this podcast probably before. But I was around these group of guys and they were eating a sandwich and one of them starts crushing chips into the sandwich and then they start talking about how awesome it is to crush chips on a sandwich.

What's your take on that?

It's all I love it? And I was like why, And I was like, why can't I? I want to have more conversations like this.

I agree.

Everyone's always you know those people on dating apps where they're like, I only have deep conversations. Yeah, that sounds like.

Hell, yeah that sucks.

It sounds crazy.

Yeah, sometimes you want to just talk about a simple pleasure.

That's what we can all agree on easily.

Yeah, you want to talk about something we've been we've been getting too into the weeds.

You want to talk talk about something normal?

Yeah?

Like what you watch?

Anything good on TV? Lately?

I started watching the new season of White Lotos recently.

Oh, okay, I don't know that one.

Okay, it's okay. Have you seen that? You you've never heard of the show?

No, I haven't seen it.

Okay, I recommend The first two seasons were really good. The third one I'm still waiting for it to kind of like okay, yeah, get better, all right, I'll check it out. Yeah, I like it.

What about you? What do you like to watch?

I don't really watch a lot of TV.

Okay do you read?

No, not really, what do you do?

We'll look at YouTube videos?

Nice? What type of YouTube videos?

Stuff like how did how did uh like make thirty thousand dollars from home with Amazon drop shipping?

Nice? Has it worked for you?

No?

I just watched the I watched the first two minutes of it, and then I go look at like gameplay from a GameCube for game gameplay from the rug Rats GameCube game that I played around as a kid.

Nice.

Hell yeah.

I was looking at tickets for my spring breaks coming up, and I want to figure out what I can do. I'm from Columbia. I want to go back to Columbia, but tickets are so expensive.

We're in Columbia from I was born in Bogota.

I grew up in Melojing.

My cousin's going to Bogata. Oh nice, Yeah, he's gonna for the first time.

You have the first time? Okay, any tips for my cousin.

Don't walk around with your phone out.

Bogota is more like it's like the New York like the Columbia version of New York is very chaotic, is very busy, is not like super like tourists friendly as much as other cities. I would say, don't judge Columbia based off Bogota. I love Bota, but it's not it's not like flowers and tropics. That's more like Melojin or the coast. But there's a lot of museums and cultural stuff. A lot of street art is really cool. The foot is the foot is bombed. Yeah, incredible.

What's what's that? What's Columbian food?

Like?

What it changes by city by region because we have a lot of like mountains, so altitude. We have a lot of like different veggies that grow in Bogota. The main dish is called tahiaco, is like a potato based soup with chicken, and it's so good that sounds it's so yummy. I'm vegan now, but I'm.

Still a vegan because like it's like like for ethics reasons or your stomach hurts for ethics.

I've been vegan for ten years now.

Oh pretty good, Yeah, pretty good. I'm also, uh, this is another rant I've got.

I have.

I have a simp.

I have.

Fucking like, I have like three rants that I go on and this is one of them. Is like, uh, I logically understand that it's unethical to kill animals and eat them.

Yeah, but I do it anyway.

That's fair.

I feel like I am more comfortable with people that understand that and make that choice and then like you're making a moral choice of your own decision autonomy, rather than like pretending like it's not like you're eating there's.

No real Yeah, well we could be fine. We Yeah, lots of chickens for no reasons.

And I have more problem not so much with consuming meat, but with the like how it's massively produced.

Now, like I don't have a problem.

He's like a local, like indigenous person or like you have your own farm and you like that's I don't really mind that.

But no, I'm like when tight like Tyson dinosaur chicken nuggets, you're not like that's a little too much. It's a little too much. I will admit it.

Is fucked up.

We've gone it's fucked up to kill an animal and then make it into.

The you're laughing at it? What are we doing?

Yeah, we're trolling chicken. We're we're big trolling chickens. You know what, maybe you just maybe you shouldn't have been a chicken. Maybe you should have been something cool or like a like a guy with a skateboard. Yeah. Uh and thanks for talking to about Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer.

Uh, not much. I yeah, I'm about to eat some food. I'm so hungry, but it was nice.

I'm hungry too. You made me hungry for for dinosaur chicken. Nice.

Well, I'll yeah you too.

By literally, wow, folks, this has been being a gecko on the street.

This was good.

I'm gonna keep doing more of these. I I haven't done one of these in like nine or two, ten months or something. I forgot how much fun it is to talk to people in real life instead of in a room. I'm still gonna talk to people alone in a dark room.

Don't worry.

I'll still be doing that, but I might just start trying to do this once a week or every other week or something like that. So stay tuned. I hope you enjoyed it. Hit subscribe on YouTube or hit whatever on a podcast thing. Thanks for if and if you're listening to that, let me just from experience, I just here's if you're listening to this and you're in your underwear in your house alone, and you're like and you're going crazy. Just put on pants and go outside and

Get off.

Get off the computer. Okay, bye everyone, goodbye, see you later.

Bye.

Therapy. Get goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.

The repent goes through Its eye's

Teaching you to houses of your life, but he's not really an expert.