FLYING LOTUS TALKS TO PEOPLE AS A GECKO

Flying Lotus.

Hello.

What has been the most persistent thought on your mind lately?

Oh, that's a good question. I think the most persistent thought on my mind lately is is, Yeah, I guess how to take care of my home.

How have you been taking care of your home?

Not very well?

I think the past couple of years I kind of let some things go around the house, and I'm paying for it a lot this year, literally paying a lot for it. So yeah, I've just been I've been thinking about how to improve my home a lot lately.

That's been really persistent in my mind.

What thing about what aspect of your home are you the most excited to improve?

Oh?

Good question. The exciting thing to improve? Well, I have a retaining wall that fell.

Are there any parts of your house you're afraid to go near because you're like, I don't know what that looks like. I'm in fear of that.

Absolutely, there's so many parts of my house or Yeah, it's like kind of like a horror movie in there. I think I think it is possibly haunted. It's a house from the thirties. It looks like a horror like a blumhouse house. It looks like some blumhouse ship where I live for sure, but I love it. I moved into a hanted house on purpose. I'm like that kind of person.

You moved into a hont house on purpose. So we were talking before we started rolling, and you told me that you've been listening to like like UFO podcast podcasts. Yeah, and is that that's kind of like up your alley.

Yeah, well for several reasons.

Yeah.

One, yeah, there's a very specific reason. But uh, yeah, I've been really into this stuff lately, ever since that uh, you know, David Grush came forward like a couple.

Said the guy who said that UFOs were real basically, yeah, like Area fifty one or something.

That was lou Elizondo. Yeah that was recent. Yeah, that was more recent. But I've been following it and just I find itself fascinating that, you know, we're in a place where you know, we're having we're having a UAP hearing next week about this stuff. There's like, you know, one of the biggest hearings about it ever.

Do you want to meet aliens? Yeah, you know, I don't know.

I don't know if I want. I mean, I want to see something. I want to see something and know for sure I definitely believe there's something else going on. But is it all aliens? I don't know about that. I think there's a lot of this stuff is like secret technologies that are being hidden from us, maybe for good reason.

I was trying to find like interviews of you and like podcasts and stuff while I was set everything up that I could, I could listen to. And I listened to one where you talked to about uh being Like, I forgive me if I'd not remember this correct, but you were like visited by some like shadow Creek shadowing.

Oh wow, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and that like jump start that jump started.

Like yeah, the paranormal for me.

The paranormal or did that I think you said that jump started something artistically for you.

Ah well, it just it was one of those things.

It just blew me away, man, And I was I was, you know, I was a kid who maybe like fifteen sixteen or.

Something like that.

I wasn't even smoking weed or anything at the time, you know, So it was like a real sober experience to have to happen to me. Where I woke up and I I saw a shadow person, like a silhouette type shadow person sitting in my chair, the chair was facing the bed.

Why would the chair be facing the bed. I don't know.

The thing saw me see it? Oh shit, like God ran out the room like no what, I so.

What do you?

What?

Do you? What do you think that was?

I don't know.

I think for so long I just told myself it's just like residual dream stuff that you bring into this world. But people have reported this for so long and I don't know, and maybe there's something to it.

I don't know.

Do you believe not? Like you, everyone hopes that paranormal that like outer world beings that will come to visit us, are are going to be uh chill and have peaceful intentions. But do you think that is the case or do you think they will, as we have done to the other creatures on our universe, fuck their ship up.

I wouldn't be surprised.

But at the same time, if you look at the track record right of their you know, the the sightings that we've had here with the military, they've all said kind of the opposite. It's like they've diffused nukes, they've you know, shut down weapon systems and stuff. It seems like they're demonstrating that they're like wait, a minute. Now, y'all ain't got nothing in control. We can do this and if we wanted to, we would, but it never

And when you're I don't know if you're actively doing research on UFOs every day, but like when when you were, we all get stuck in like internet rabbit holes. Rabbit hole when you're in a when you're in a rabbit hole and you're reading about like UFOs and like the beyond the are you are you reading it like ooh that's exciting, that's interesting, that, Oh that could be quick, could be nice or are you reading it like oh, no, like is are do you do you asso see these with?

I find.

There was a moment there where I was like, oh my god, why are they hiding all this stuff?

What is going on?

But then after a while just became more fascinating because you know, as far as we've come and all this stuff, these moments have happened over you know, the past eighty years. We've had these moments where we thought we were going to get disclosure, we got whistleblowers coming forward with information, and you know, we're still waiting for, you know, the the one photo to ruin it all right, right right?

What are some other rabbit holes you find yourself into?

Good rabbit holes? Mhm. I've been playing a lot of a lot of video games lately.

Yeah, I've been going.

Back playing a lot of stuff.

I think the new Silent Hill came out and then it kind of took me back into more of like some of the old PlayStation games, and then I'm playing Fasmophobia on console.

I've heard a lot of people talking about.

That ghost hunting game, which is a lot of fun, a lot of fun.

And I play Call of Duty with with the crew play we play.

Call Duty seems like the most basic. Well, I'm playing it around eighth grade because I realized that, like you're like the the the game itself is not what I'm after. I just get like a hit in my brain when I yeah, like, but it's not a positive Oh I am executing my skill in this game. Hit. It's like a fuck that piece of shit camper Nube. Like the adrenaline of being like fucking angry? Is what is the hit that I'm after? And I was like, I don't like this, I'm gonna play?

Oh yeah, I don't know. I don't get into it like that. No, no, no, no, it's it's still enjoyable. It's still enjoyable. I'm not mad at nobody. Like if I'm if I'm mad at anybody, it's myself because my aim.

Is trash or what does anything make you.

Make me mad? Yeah?

In general?

Hell yeah?

Off top though, I feel like I'm pretty chill person. I try not to react instantly to stuff.

You seem like a pretty chill person. I've only been I've probably been around you for less than thirty minutes, but you have you got a chill vibe.

Chill yeah, chill Aura. Someone told me I was a walking xanax before.

I was all right, I'll I'll take you take that as a point of pride.

Uh no, no, because I think a lot of times I would rather just be confrontational with people.

But you know, sometimes there's like you.

Would rather be part confident, Like there's a part of your brain where you're like, I want, I feel as though.

I should speak up for myself right now, But then.

You have another part of your brain that's kind of like I don't want to be up fucking yeah. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I I think about that myself as well, And I don't know. I think there's something to be said about like the path of whatever path, what path is going to create the most the amount of peace in my own brain? And sometimes I was gonna say some I was gonna default the saying that the answer

Absolutely, There's so many moments they're like ooh, was that a foot in the mouth, And then someone hits you and be like, yo, I'm so glad you said something.

Yeah, totally, totally, totally, Yeah, I don't know. It's a are you into like stoic philosophy kind.

Of no vibes? No, no, no, no, I'm not. I don't.

I don't subscribe to that. That's that's how stable believe or anything. I'm just more like, you know, I'm not trying to complicate my life anymore.

You don't at that point, It's just like, yo, whatever.

Do you like? And this is obviously something that evolves over time, like do you like do you think you're does life feel complicated to you?

Yeah?

I think life gets it feels more complicated. The weight of life is more complicated as we as we get older.

And you know, I think, uh, I envy.

People who can still, you know, take psychedelics all the time and not worry, because I wish I could. I feel like I'm at that point where I'm like, nah, I'll just I'll just be dwelling on all the things I need to do, all the things they gotta get done. The retaining walls felled out, you know what I mean, the house. Yeah, you know, like I just, uh, I envy that. But at the same time, I feel like I've seen all that stuff already. Sure, I definitely talk to them.

And so that's the fact that what you said, I've seen all that stuff before. I'm I ask out of genuine curiosity, why do you feel as though things get more complicated as you get older? Because I would think it would be the opposite, because when you're young, you don't you have no frames of references.

I think you're probably right, But I'm not at that older.

Okay, you know, I'm still in the older where I'm like still like I got the fire in me, you know, but I'm not like when I don't have that anymore, then I'll probably be that older where I'm like, yeah, fuck.

It, fuck man.

Well but you can. But yeah, but there's some some people lose the fire when they're like nineteen. And then some.

People, yeah, because they they ruined their lives early on or something, they did something, and they just like they had that moment.

Where they're like they probably ain't gonna get no better than this. That's bum Well, what keeps?

What's what are you fired up about?

I'm fired up about the possibilities. I'm fired up about the tools and learning. I'm always learning stuff. And you know, I'm always trying to learn stuff about music, and you know, I get really excited about that stuff all time, filmmaking things and writing ideas, and you know, I have all these movies in my head I want to make, and so it's that part is, yeah, keeps me, keeps me super motivated.

Kind of what kind of movies you have to watch?

I like to watch all types of stuff I don't like. I don't like war movies as much, but that's been my opinions on that have changed a little bit. Yeah, there's some like you know, the hard Oscar dramas that come out around now till January Oscar season. I usually don't like those movies or I just choose not to watch them, just because when I do have the time to watch a movie and I kind of want to just be entertained and have a good time.

Yeah, you don't want to get into like a deep You ever watch Shindler's List.

It's actually on my list to watch soon and depress myself.

Well, it's been on my list for about seven years now, since the nineties. Yeah, because I just keep I'm like, because I'm never gonna be in the mood.

No, it's so funny you say that because I did all I've been doing all the Spielbergs stuff the past couple of months, and that's like hanging over like, hey, I'm waiting for you, you know whatever.

Well, if you're doing if you were like if you are, like I am making it a thing to sit down and watch all the spiel and you come across it, then you're like, yeah, there.

You know, I had just watched ET for the first time, dude, But like that, honestly was probably the most hardcore movie I've ever seen.

What what What? What was it? What was it that made it?

Man? It was hard? Man. That was a hard movie just in terms.

It was like my first time watching it ever, never seen it, but it was it was so beautiful and and so sweet that it was hardcore, I think because it was just so hard hardcore, optimistic about the future, about adults, and it was obviously like just so emotional, you know, I was. I was profoundly moved by that movie. I was like crying for like a half hour watching.

I'm excited to see What's What's what ultimately made you cry more Between ET and Chandler's.

List, It'll be ET for sure. Because there was. As soon as I started watching, I was like, oh my god, I feel like I'm ten washing.

Yeah, you know, and it's like it's still that thing was still effective. Whatever he did, the magic, it's it was, it's still there and uh and I was just it was so cool to have not seen it this whole time and then finally see it.

It felt like it was like waiting.

But I like that though. That shows that there's something like more moving about optimism than there is about uh, depressing ship.

Yeah. Oh yeah. For me, it's because it's so that's the movie.

That's the fiction, is the the optimism and the hopeful thing where it's just like, oh man, if only we could, you know, if only we could.

Just I haven't seen et and you know what, what what was it that you think made it optimistic?

Hmmm?

I think that For one, you know, the aliens were like, you know, just here to like look at plants and stuff. They were just like biologists, you know, they're just studying stuff. And and you know, the the humans, the bad guys, they're like kind of the bad guys. They got the bad guy music whenever you see the the adults and stuff. But even the adults, we're trying to help et. They were, Oh, they weren't trying to kill him.

Well, I thought that the whole I thought that there, like the police guy right, is like trying to kill you. Think they're trying to him.

They're all trying to help you.

Guy was like, they fly over him.

They need they actually e t or the human.

The adults pretty much they tried to save him as he was dying, and they you know, they hit the defibrillator on him.

It looked as a kid the kids are like, oh my god, you're killing him, but they're actually doing their best to keep him alive.

And uh, And I think like the main the main bad guy he says to the kid, he was like, he was like, you remind me of when I was you Like, I've been waiting for this moment since I was ten years old.

That's really sweet.

Yeah.

And I was just like, and this is the this is the guy who's got the bad guy. I mean, I just thought that was like a really interesting choice to make. And it was just still like you could have made the bad guy be like no, you're stupid, We're gonna lock you in a room, and you know you're no one will believe you and all this stuff. They could have done that and it would have still worked, But like they chose to make the the parents and the adults still well, optimistic and hopeful.

And I think this is really hardcore in a weird way.

Yeah, that's that's nice. That a movie where it's like we're all going to eventually give in to our humanity and that that's the destination, and not like we're all going to kill each other.

It'd be nice, wouldn't it.

It will be nice. It will be nice. You want to take a phone call, Let's do it. Hey, what's up man?

What's up?

Hey?

I didn't think i'd actually i'd actually get.

Through to you now that you're here. What's up, dog? What's your name?

My name is Isaac, Isaac?

What's up, Isaac? We want to talk about today? What's going on.

I'm twenty four and I'm living with my parents for the first time since I was fourteen, and it is just what I remember. But I don't have a way of leaving unless I want to go be homeless again.

Wait, why why did you leave the house for the first time when you were fourteen?

My parents threw me out.

Really where'd you go?

It was Kansas City is where we were at. And I was homeless around there, kind of just out on the street for five years until twenty nineteen when I moved to Colorado with my brother.

And then what brought what brought you back back in? Like did you have like a what's the opposite of a falling out? Did you have a coming in with your parents?

Not really, so we didn't. We didn't talk for a really long time. And it was about twenty nineteen. End of twenty nineteen, I was not on good terms with my brother, and uh, we were. We were going our separate ways, and I started talking to my parents again and they they drove up and picked me up and dropped me off in Montana. They were on their way to Washington for some military think and uh, that was like the first time that I had seen them. But it was only to the car, right, you know, So

But wait, what did your what did your parents? What did what happened with your parents?

Like?

What did you why? Why do you have beef with them. Why did they have beef with you? Why did they and why they kick you out?

What did you do?

There are kind of a lot of reasons, but the biggest kicker was that I had started I was a dumb high school kid. I'd started smoking weed. And since they both worked for the government, that's like, we'll lose their job, We'll all lose everything.

If they over some weed.

If no one finds out over some weed.

Oh man, that's some bullshit.

Well they tried to handle it. Well, first thing, my mom did just kick me. How to hide in the woods? I said, they didn't want it in the house. And I was a shipthead and I was a shithead and not not listening.

Why does that? Why does this phone call feel like it does weirdly mirror the plot of E T where it's like we have a secret we must keep.

From Yeah, it sounds like you just you're just trying your best, man, like you, you know, trying to you know, you're just trying to smoke weed and and do your thing and don't let that ship get to you so hard, man.

You know, well, I mean we've got a we've got a better deal now, just not within twenty five feet of the house, and I'm better about keeping it outside set up in the in the backyard, out by the woods.

You have a you have a fucking hot box tent set up at the back of the woods.

Damn right, I do.

What do your parents do in the military.

My mom's a medic and my stepdad is infantry.

And you didn't want to do any do any of that, did you?

I tried. I grew up doing military stuff, and I went to a bunch of military schools, and when I was in high school, I started doing r OTC before they threw me out and I rote me from high school. But when I tried to when I turned eighteen and I tried to apply, apparently I have a scoliosis and a bad shoulder, and they wouldn't let me come in for either of those things. That my rotato cuff, Well, yeah, I have a bad rotator cuff on my right arm, and there's certain.

Things I couldn't do with that. Huh. With that rotator cuff it made you couldn't.

Do for the rest of my life.

So what do you do now?

Well?

I was maintenance at at a string of hotels. I did a security for a while, but I'm I'm kind of between. I started a new one on on Monday, so so I'm excited. But I'll just be slaying pizzas.

That's good, slaking pizzas, and.

Yeah, make some money, man, make some money. Don't don't give up on yourself though, you know, like this is just a moment in time. You know, you're still really young, twenty four. That ain't too crazy, though, you got you got a time.

That's good to hear a lot of people.

I know people, I know people in their forties. You know, I don't know what to do anymore, you know, like don't worry.

Like it's like everybody everyone feels that way sometimes.

Absolutely absolutely you got this.

It is what we were kind of just talking about, like like like trying to and I feel the same way. I Yeah, I have a I was looking at my I'm trying to like track my brain over time, so I was like looking at journal entries from years ago, and I was like, I'm twenty four and I wrote like when I was twenty four, I was like, I'm twenty four and I like feel dead. But now I'm twenty six and I'm still I'm still optimistic. You know, why not, why not be optous, why not be optimistic?

So right, seriously, I don't know.

That'll be a lot.

I'll find at least.

That'd be a lot.

But just before we go, Uh, what did you say? Your name was, Isaac? Isaac?

Isaac. That's a good name.

That's a good name. That's a very strong name. There's a lot of I mean it sincerely. I mean this sincerely. I think there's a lot of nobility in slinging pieces because you know, there's a lot of uh stoned fourteen year olds out there who you might see yourself in who have stolen their mom's credit card to buy a pizza and helping them those folks.

Yeah, and.

Obviously you know you're you're trying to be in the military. You know you you probably have really strong values. You I'll just just keep doing you.

Work hard, Isaac, Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer or to God before we go?

Keep your head up. Even when things get get really dark, the sound always comes back up.

I like it.

Take care, I appreciate it. Thanks for talking with me. Have a good day.

That was nice.

Yeah, let's start a strong Yeah.

Yeah, well you were asking me. We were also talking and you were like, do people mainly call in to like, uh troll you and stuff? And it happens sometimes, But I think, uh, I think both. I'm very like.

I don't.

I think mostly people just at like want to talk about life because it's kind of crazy.

Yeah, as as they should.

I'm glad people don't squander this month.

You should we do another one.

From Yoda?

What's up Yoda?

Not much? What's up with you?

Chilling? We're chilling vibe?

Yeah, both of you guys.

Yeah, we're both yea.

Yeah, yeah, little it's it's been crazy though since the since yesterday though, it's been pretty crazy.

Has been pretty crazy crazy in your life? Or is just crazy in the world?

I think in my life and in the world. So it's like a synergetic thing.

What happened, what happened to you? We all know what's going on in the world.

Yeah, yeah, what's what's going on with you?

I wouldn't say it's like super crazy. But so I'm doing a PhD and it's just a lot going on, and then plus the election, so now I'm like worried about I guess how that might affect I guess job opportunities and stuff like that.

But yeah, what's your industry.

I'm in ecology and evolutionary biology, so like nature stuff. Yeah, you know the parties, Well, the Red Party doesn't give a fuck about that.

So yeah, well then you know how much how much longer are you in school?

I think what four more years? Yeah? Just started?

All right, great, so by the time you're out of school, we'll have a new president and most likely be Democrat and reverse all the ship that's about to happen, right, so.

You'll be there's that optimism, don't trip?

Yeah?

Yeah, where do you say? Where do you live?

Oh?

I'm just moved to Colorado, So just.

Like Colorado, you'll be fine to just rocks on fire, You'll be fine over there.

That's cool. Well, at least here's what I'll say this, because there's a lot of stuff with like, uh, you know, the election where I'm where, I'm like, well, fuck, what can I like? At least you're at least you're in a position where you are can like actually do something

Yeah, do the best we can. That's like, I guess what all of us are trying to be.

At the end of the day.

I think you know, no matter who you voted for, you know, we're all people looking at each other trying to make sense of this moment in reality and time. So just continue to have passion for your fellow human being. We're all trying. Some of us aren't trying hard, but we're all trying. Don't worry, We'll be all right.

Yeah, we're collectively trying. When you throw us all together and yeah, yeah, yeah.

Again.

Manah, here's the thing is, I don't do this as a bit.

I'm also a green guy.

You're green. Oh yeah, we're we're two point nine green.

Guys, exactly, it's three.

Is there anything else? Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Uh yeah, flying logs. I love your stuff, guys, I love your stuff. This is my first time getting on after like thousands of calls. And yeah, I'm also an artist. So check my stuff on Instagram at goth hobby with three H goth hobby so g oh yeah goth g O T H h H O B.

B I T.

I do like clothes and stuff like that.

So if you want to it with two.

Hs, you guys got with three.

H triple H triple all right, cool man, I'll check it out. Why not, I'll check it out for sure.

It was nice talking to you guys.

Yeah, take care man, take care brother.

All right, be easy I need to do.

Do People like send you beats often and they're like, what do you think of my beats?

Every day?

How do you ever look at them?

I probably shouldn't say yeah, right, because if I do, then I'll get in trouble.

But you shouldn't say yes, or shouldn't say I shouldn't.

Say yes right because then they're oh shit, I do occasionally. I'm occasionally I'm really curious and I like to just know what's going on. So yeah, I do listen, and it's always the ones who don't have a following that are just crazy.

Yeah, yeah interesting. I was also gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have a little uh fanboy moment here. My favorite work of yours is the Awkward TV show show.

That was a fun moment in time, man.

Honestly, like, we were sitting here and I was looking at the chat while it was playing, and it was like and someone in the chat was like, yo, man, my favorite work of yours is the Aqua TV show show theme song. And then I fucking remembered. I was like, yo, he did the TV show show theme song. I've like watched that on YouTube on a repeat.

Like, yeah, it's funny because I forget sometime I'm sure, I'm sure, you know, and then sometimes it'll come on, you know, adult Swim or something like.

That, and then the intro come out.

Yeah yeah, yeah. Do you are you an Aquatan fan?

Oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, big fan, big fan of Dave Willis, the writer he did that show Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell.

Yeah. I was a fun fact. I was an intern on that show seven years ago. How was Atlanta? It was very it was difficult.

It seems like a tough, tough gig.

Well here's the Here's like, this is like a full circle moment for me. Is when I worked on the show. One of my jobs was, like everyone, all the people, the cast is like heavily caked in red. So the cast is heavily painted in red. And like, one of my jobs was they had the showers on set, and one of my jobs was to like scrub red paint off of showers. And now I'm fucking up showers with my green paint. And I'm like, you know, I knew we'd make it one day.

That's right, Yeah, let it let it rain green, bro.

Mm hmm. Do you still watch it? Still watch it? Alsewie very often, not as much.

There's not too much stuff on there that I can get into. But I'm always watching some of the older classics. I want to redo all the Metal Acalypse episodes.

Redo that cool cool, that'd be sick. Are you smiling? Friends?

You know I tried to get into that. I love that guy, Michael Cusack, I love him. I've been trying to get in that show I haven't really got the episode, that one that pulls me in, but I know everyone loves that one.

That's like the big show.

Yeah, it's definitely like they're the kind of anchor show. Yeah.

Yeah. I wasn't really added about the Rick and Morty anime though. That really me. Ye, that really disturbed me.

Why did it disturb you?

I didn't like the animation, Yeah, I feel yeah, just like.

The I think it just kind of lost the comedy in some of the just the beats got lost because the animation is weird.

It just it just uh m, do.

You have any thoughts or desires to like do any more like animation stuff in the future.

I love animation. I do animation at home and stuff. I use unreal engine and make stuff. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. But I have to work on music right now. But after a couple more months, I can reward myself with some some silly meat projects.

I love. That makes me so happy. You were like, after I finished working, I'm going to reward myself more work. It's a good. It's a good. It's a good sign.

I really do. I really love it. It's so much fun.

You want to take a phone call.

Yeah, I'm Greg.

Hey, what's up man? How you doing? What's your name? My name is Tom, Tom, Tom Thomas.

Yeah.

Well I just want to say, first of all, first time caller, big time fan, I'm coming to your show on Saturday.

Oh cool. Oh you'll be at the show on Saturday. Very nice?

Is it here?

It's Hollywood Forever? Yeah, yeah, it's I was always funny that like a bunch of people are dead outside and have a good time.

Yeah. I played there a couple of times. It's really nice.

What's up with you? Thomas? Would you want to talk about today?

Well, the biggest thing in my life right now is that, uh I may be getting shunned from my family and everyone I know.

Uh done, may be getting what shunned?

Shunned?

Why why?

Well it's a long story, but pretty much, uh you know, just uh all I put this.

I don't want to myself, to be honest.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm a little nervous on the edge of whatever. Whatever you want to share, man, it's it's whatever, whatever, whatever, how much of this you want to share is up to you.

Man.

No, I want to know. Yeah, you didn't call it here for nothing show what's up?

No, definitely, Now, I was raised up Joebah's witness.

I'm sure you know I'm looking at a guy who was raised up Jehoah's witness right.

Now, Okay, but yeah that way. Yeah, but of course, you know it's something that you know, I don't believe in anymore. And so I've kind of been doing my thing for a couple of years now. But recently, you know, I've been dating and you know, been seeing someone and and you know, when you are gained something, you want to have them over. And so, uh, it just came down to that. Somehow my parents, you know, found out that I was seeing someone and that you know, she stayed the night and yeah, I mean.

By a family. Yeah, well that's fucking wild. Yeah, are you fucking theious? Are you for real?

Nois? Yeah? Man, you know go on YouTube and and and search up ex Joe's witnesses and oh yeah, people have all different crazy stories. You know, it's not comed I've heard.

I've heard I've heard some things. Yeah, that's that's really rough.

And you know, there's a part of me that wants to just say, you know, give them the time too to get past it and for everyone to get over it. But you know, you never really know. You never really know, but you can always hope. But you can't let that stop you from your happiness and being who you are.

No, definitely. I mean I've been on this journey for a couple of years now and like you know, it's it's been pretty rough. Like you know, when it first happened, this is like fairly fresh within a month, you know, like I kind of knew it was gonna happen sooner or later. But it's just you know, just seeing the effects,

What's your name? Man? Sorry for everyone's Thomas.

Tom.

We did that. We said it four times Tom. Yeah, Man, I I mean this sincerely. I hope you really, I really mean this. I think you are completely utterly entitled to live a life where you can simultaneously believe whatever you want and live your life however you want, and have people in your life who care, care about you

I mean, don't get me wrong. Like I have family that that's not even like you know, never been j W and like, you know, one of my aunts, you know, she texted me, She's like, hey, you know pretty much invited me over for Thanksgiving, you know, coming up, and you know, I haven't celebrated Thanksgiving and like I don't know over eighteen years since you know, both my family like converted over there, right, But it's like, you know,

You know.

I think you just need to give them time. If you ask me, I think you just everyone needs a little bit of time to heal from whatever this moment is. I think that, you know, I've heard similar stories and it may have taken years for these things to heal, but they do in time. And I would just hope that you know, you remember the love your families love and know that at the end of the day, they really do love you. They just don't. They don't know

I mean, I just I just have to be okay with that because you know, it is what it is. I can't change the past.

That's right. And do you want to? Right? Do you? Do you want to change the paths?

Like?

Do you You don't want to change bads? You want to continue doing what you're doing. So let them learn to love you and accept you.

Yeah, have you have you gotten to do any drugs since you since you left? Have you tried cocaine? Have you strippers?

Like?

What have you got?

Have you been?

Have you like let it ride at all? Right?

Full extreme?

You know that's the thing. It's like, that's like the thing with you know x j w Is. You know they feel like, oh, you know that I'm not in anymore. I have to live like everyone else and like party hard. But no, like I've you know, I've gone out clubbing and partying and that's been fun. And I tried, you know, smoking weed a couple of times with my with my date, but you know, I didn't get high either time. So like maybe I'm just being.

Able to who's the chick, Who's who's whose date. She sounds like a good influence. She's like, I'm trying to fuck in your house. I'm trying to fuck you in your house, and you're gonna smoke this weed too. She sounds like a good influence. I like her.

No, she's pretty cool. I won't say her name because I don't think, you know, I don't know if she's told her Well, how'd you guys meet? Uh? Hinge?

Very nice. She also come from like a like a like a religious background or anything like that. She's GONNAPERI you.

Grew up Catholic. You grew up Catholic, but you know she had you know, she had her own like you know, seeing stuff in her childhood that kind of turned her off from religion. So like, you know, she you know, she's been very like compassionate, you know with my situation.

And yeah, yeah, it sounds like you need to hang on to that one right there.

And you let your parents coming with me to your show on Saturday.

Oh cool, all right, I'm excited to meet you guys.

Yeah.

I try to try to. I try to meet everyone after the show. So if you can be like I'm the guy who talked about being an next Jehovah's witness and we can be like holy Ship we talked on the phone like two days ago. Well ship, man, I'm looking forward to uh to seeing Yeah, thanks for thanks, thanks for thanks for calling into the show and being fucking genuine about your life. Man. Yeah, yeah, I mean difficult.

Yeah. I have, you know, I've connected with people recently, you know, meet new people and you know just already have like you know, someone who's offering to you know, let me stay at their place if if you know, I have to move out because I mean I don't live with my parents, but I do rent for my dad. So like it depends, you know, how you define if

That's great, That's the best you can do. You're doing the.

Work, Thomas. Is there anything I'm gonna say to the people of the computer before we go?

Uh?

Yeah, I mean just a big fan of the stream or the podcast. Been listening since twenty twenty one, called over a hundred times. Don't give up, just keep calling, And yeah, I mean your your show is pretty entertaing I listened to all the time when I'm at work.

Thanks man, I appreciate that. I'm uh, I'll see you. I'll see you on Saturday. And I think I think it'll be a good show. I think it'll be fun. We'll uh we will dance on the graves of all the dead people afterwards.

All right, sounds good.

Thanks for doing all right, see you later, see you later.

All right, thanks forever.

Bye, Thanks Tom. How you doing good?

I'm good. Good. Do you?

Were you religious growing up?

No?

I wasn't religious, but you know there there's religion practiced, but everyone was cool and you know, just do your own thing. Yeah, sure, I'll show you this stuff and here yeah yeah.

Uh yeah yeah. No. I I felt like I was like when he said I'm about to be shunned by everybody, I was like, I was like, I was, I thought he was gonna like say something worse, worse, but then I was like, oh, I feel so I felt uh,

Yeah, it's their journey though, to to kind of figure that out for themselves.

But it's I always think.

About that if I would have had parents or upbringing where they weren't supportive of me being an artist or being creative and stuff, and I'm sure that it would.

Have been so different because I needed that support. I think.

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

No, they're they're dead.

Oh yeah, do you have a good relationship with the with their parents?

Yes?

Yes, considering you know, like when of course everyone's going to complain a little bit, but yeah.

I was.

I'm very lucky to have had some some really good influences.

Do you do you have kids?

Yeah?

How many kids you have?

I have one?

What's how old is your kid? It's four? What is it? What's that like?

Uh, it's an asshole?

I mean I'm sure. Yeah, Well, when you're four years old, you don't care about you know, you're you're kind of you're operating on a of course you're gonna be an asshole.

Yeah, yeah you should as you do. I just got a puppy too.

You got a puppy.

Yeah, I got a little puppy.

What kind of puppy?

Little Boston Terrier?

That's really nice. He's like, is it what's the what's your favorite part about having a kid?

The innocent kind of wonderment, you know, that that thing that the magic where you're just like you want to preserve.

Yeah, that I've been I don't like, I've been just been thinking about like what would be like to have a kid, And I'm like, does it does it feel like you're like like living life over again in a way?

Is that?

Is that a feeling that you have?

No?

No, I know you, I think I know what you're talking about, But it doesn't feel like that. It feels more like the responsibility and the wait is heavier, Like now I can't kill myself. Now I can't blow my brains out like I wanted to. You know, now you have a reason.

That's good. I think everyone needs reasons not to fucking kill themselves.

Well, I don't mean it, but you know what I mean. Sure, Yeah, it's just that you you kind of have to do your best and you have to right, you have to give it your goal.

Sometimes I've talked about this on this podcast before, but like sometimes I'll be like recording my show, or like I'll be doing work. I'll be doing some kind of work and I'll just like start spazzing out and I'll be like I just shut off the laptop, and I would get stoned and I would go outside and I would be like, Okay, this is you know, I'll be like I'm just gonna avoid my responsibility because who cares. But it's like you, if you have a kid, you

Seeing them kids iPads and restaurants. Yeah, that's the parents shutting them like.

You had like Coco melan On or fucking.

Me anything works, jazz videos?

Did you does your do you ever like do you play your music for your kid ever?

Or is that yeah?

Just does he like it?

He's ahead, He's he's ahead. Yeah, listening to like bug out jazz music and stuff like that. Yeah, jazz like like Crazy Sun Raw or not Coleman. He likes all that stuff. And I'm like, yo, Like even even I'd be like, yo, can we do something?

Can you know like how many calls?

How many calls are in there? We just go people are just calling, people are going, let's see how long have we been recording for? How are you doing? How you we can we could take it we could take one or two more and we can get the hour in there. Yeah, are you are you having Are you having fun?

This is awesome? Okay?

Cool?

Good.

I've always wanted to be a gecko. Good good, because the one animal I wanted to when I was a kid.

Is that true?

Yeah, geckos were cool in the nineties, like the early nineties. It was like, you know, I remember there was like was that like a clothing brand too.

Like there is there is a clothing brand called Gecko Hawaii or yeah, there was like ying gecko clothes something.

But like the the gecko was was tight in the nineties early nineties.

I mean it's still tight.

You know.

What is it that? What is it that drew you to the I like that because I like the stoic nature of the gecko. Geckos the beautiful creatures.

Yeah, and they're like they got the cool hands and I love I think I preferred the chameleon more sure, but you know, geckos were next in line.

Well, let's see here, let's see we got a phone call from someone who I don't know who they are yet. We're gonna find out who they are right now. Hello, Hey, what's up man? What's your name?

Hey? This is Nathan Nathan Nick?

Nick? Nathan? Oh did you did you try to give like did you get did you give your real name? And then you get you were like, let me braacktrack, that can give it a fake name.

That's yeah, that's definitely what I was thinking.

Yeah, I don't think we're get Like if you just a guy named Nathan, I don't think anyone we're gonna find you.

You know, he knows he's got that voice, buttery voice will recognize he does.

What do you? Okay? Well, what what should we do? Should we do Nick or Nathan?

Uh?

Let's do Nick for sure?

Beautiful?

What's up?

Nick? How you doing?

Man?

Would you want to talk about today? Yo?

Yeah?

So I I text you all pain ball?

Yeah? Man?

You said, Hey, Gecko and fly Low, I'm thinking about joining a paintball team, but I have a lot of reservations. What are the reservations?

Have you ever played paintball?

Yeah? I have?

Yeah, me too, a long time ago. Yeah.

It's I mean, it's a fun sport. It's a really good exercise. That's why I'm into it. But I don't know, it's just like very intense. The people that played are very intense or they can be uh, you know, it can't.

Be you know, I was. I was my first time doing that.

I was really put off by the people who were playing actually more than anything.

I was like the other team, We're just like, yeah, what was it?

Yeah, for sure.

I started playing in the woods, like in the middle of nowhere, and you know, I just had like the Tipman ninety eight, the classic, you know, twenty dollars gun that I got from a friend and playing against people with like a thousand dollar guns, which is no competition, so it's really not very fun.

But still like you know, being out in.

The woods, I just love it.

Like the adrenaline rush is really you know, addictive, honestly, and yeah, just like something to do with your friends on the weekend. It's just like a super fun thing.

You say, you sound like you're convincing yourself that you want to do it. You sound like you have way more what's the opposite of a reservation consideration?

So you have good?

That's good. You sound like you have way more considerations than reservations. So I mean go ahead.

Yeah, you know, this was.

Like, yeah, I'm an adult now, I'm you know, in my thirties, so I have more money to spend on it, and I've moved to area where there's actually like the air ball fields.

Like competitive like leagues and things like that. But uh yeah, I just don't know anyone in the leagues been trying to get into it. But uh yeah, the reservations I'm having of it, Well, I you know.

Honestly, you know you only live once. Do that ship. Just do that ship, Like, don't you think about it. Just do it. You can. You can quit whenever you want. No one will make you do it forever. Just quit. If you don't like it, try it. Live a little bit.

You could go to war.

Yeah, you could actually go to war or play Call of Duty, like all three of those things can probably do that for you.

You could.

I got what if you what if you just what if you just paint the way you get to if? I don't know if your favorite part about paintball is the paint, It's like, that's kind of that's awesome.

It's the x ony.

Don't you do pilates and paint bowls of fruit and then you accomplish all the same things.

Yeah, it's like run sprints with a Yeah, well I'm.

So excited for you.

I'm excited, I really am. Yeah.

Maybe I'll go. You know what You've ins what's your name again?

Nick?

Nick?

Nick?

You've inspired me. I want to, Uh, I want to I want to do something new. Maybe I'll play paint plates. You know, I throw out du pilates is just because I wanted. I want to do it.

Do it, give it a shot it absolutely do it.

I feel like your therapy get I feel like, in an indirect way, you therapy geckoed meet today Nick, mm hmm.

Yeah.

I am also gonna try some pilates and the World Cup, the super Bowl of Paintballs this weekend. So if anyone wants to, uh watch something on YouTube, it's a little bit, a little bit weird.

Is it indoor paintball?

Check it out?

What's that? Is it indoor paintball?

Uh?

No, it's it's outside in Florida.

Oof, outside in Florida. That's it. Scary as a motherfucker.

Yeah, running around outside in Florida with a fake gun.

Idea again, worried about the people playing, you know, worried about the other team?

Nick?

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.

I appreciate Joe.

Have a good night, Thanks man, much loved. Thanks Man, have a good night. Well flying Lotus. What do you what do you do you feel like? Uh? Do you feel like you you learned anything from in the past? How or do you have any takeaways? Do you have any thoughts?

Nope.

I think the people who are listening though, or the people called in it. It sounds like there's a consistency where people need to just like, you know, love themselves and yeah, man, learn to as well forgive themselves and to forgive the people around them. That was the thing that I've kind of taken from ends that man, we're just you know, what do you expect, We're all just grown babies.

That's really nice. It's really nice. We're all just grown I'm trying to connect it back to ET somehow.

Mm hmm.

I feel like I'm.

Sure it's there. I'm sure someone in the chat will probably figure it out.

Well, yeah, man, thanks for thanks for coming on the show. Is there do you want to do you want to do any plugs? Don't plug anything?

Uh? Yeah, you guys could check out my new EP that came out called Spirit Box.

It's tight.

And then There is a movie I made called ash that's come out next year.

Where is it coming through? The cool Man?

Yeah?

Where like you did? You getting like a wide like I can go to like my local am?

Yeah?

Yeah yeah.

What can you tell us about it at all?

There's a trailer out. You can check out the trailer.

Okay, cool? Yeah, cool cool? What's it called again?

Ash? Ash? Yeah?

Very nice? Well, Flying Letters, thank you for joining me as.

A thank you so much. Thanks for having me.

Really goes on the line, taking your phone calls.

Every night, ever, goes just teaching your

Line is not really ex