“DON’T SLEEP WITH A PILOT”

Hello, Hi, Hey, what's some of them?

Not much? Who is this? My name is Stephanie, Stephanie. What's up, Stephanie? How are you doing tonight? What you wanna talk about?

Ship?

There's there's a couple of things. I don't know what's more entertaining to talk about, to be honest, because I don't wanna Yeah, okay.

You know what, I don't you know what I want. I want to nip this in the bud really quickly and and normal normally I'll say this too normally. I I mean, I'm like when I'm talking to callers, I am in a mindset of like, let's try our best. Let's like steer the conversation in a way that's entertaining to the people who are spending their time listening to this. But something about in this moment right now, I'm like,

That's really nice of you.

So what do you want to talk about?

I mean, so I broke my leg on the nineteenth of December, and that's been not fun.

So there's that.

Okay, what's the other one. I feel like I just totally broke everything I just said to you. Just now, what's the other one?

The other one's kind of like a workplace issue that I wanted to get outside perspectives on because I'm having I don't even know what you would call it. There's it's a really long story, but there's a guy that I work with who recently came back to work, I guess, And this doesn't affect me right now because I'm not going to be able to go back to work, like with a broken leg for at least like a couple more months. But I did see him at work once,

All Right, So you were you were seeing this guy at work, and then he stopped working at your work and now he's coming back.

Well, we both worked, so I worked for an airline. I'm a flight attendant, and we both worked for like the regional airline, and I transferred to mainline, and I thought I was rid of him, like I would never have to see him again. And then I guess he got an offer to come over and I saw him once and I know I'm probably going to run into him again, and it was so uncomfortable, and I.

Were you were you guys like hooking up? Is that what you date? Or what was up?

So we were dating for three months, so it wasn't a long time, but oh my god, it's so bad. He So we were together for three months and he was like calling me his girlfriend, Like he started calling me his girlfriend. He said I love you like really fast. And I kind of chalked it up to like maybe cultural differences, but you know, he said it like very quickly, which is kind of like weird, but I don't know, and he, uh, hold.

On cultural, Like where's this guy from?

Ethnically, he's Armenian, but he grew up in Iraq, so he's like like all of his friends are like Persian.

Oh Okay, I thought you were gonna say he's like from Texas.

No, No, I'm from Cana actually, so we both work for a Canadian airline.

Okay, so he was calling you his girlfriend.

Yeah, he was very like and he would always say like, oh, I want you to feel comfortable at my apartment. I want you to feel like this is your like second home. Like every time I would like leave his apartment, I would like go and gather my items, and he would be like, oh, just just leave your just tell me what shampoo you use, or like leave your shampoo here and it'll just be here for you. Like he was very like he's like, I want you to be comfortable whatever.

And and and and at this point, are you well, Okay, first of all, how long had you guys been like, you know, buddy buddy for.

At that point, it was probably like two months because I actually didn't sleep with him until like probably like three or four weeks into it, and then we were yeah, so like in total, it was like three three and a half months. And by the two month point, he was like referring to me as his girlfriend.

That I liked you, and and okay, so this guy, he's, uh, he's getting your favorite shampoo. He's calling you his girlfriend. Yeah, you use his toothbrush. What how are you feeling about Are you like, oh, this is great, this is what I want. Or are you like, like, how are you feeling about it?

Well?

I mean, like two months isn't very long. So I was feeling I don't know, I was just like looking how things were going, like it was good. He was a nice guy, he was handsome, culture, he had a good job. Like he's a pilot.

He's a pilot. Yeah, pilot and a flat attendant. That's something about that feels something about that feels naughty.

It Yeah, I mean when you start training as a flight attendant, the first thing they tell you is never sleep with pilots.

Wait did they tell you that? Yeah, that's funny. Why do they tell you?

Because it's always bad news, as as you will discover. So this is where the story gets.

Uh, it is kind of funny because like when people talk about like power dynamics, right, I feel like guy driving the plane that I'm in, I would take that as a legitimate power dynamic.

Yeah, I mean he was a first officer, though he wasn't a captain.

I'm I'm mainly kidding.

But so basically, forgive me if I backtrack, because the timeline of this just like it sometimes I remember certain things anyway, Okay, what happened was that I was working with this girl and she's asking me what's going on in my life, and I tell her, Oh, I have a newish boyfriend. She says, show me a picture. So I show a picture of this guy, the pilot, and he well, sorry. The girl that I'm working with says, that's not your boyfriend. That's Amy's boyfriend.

Yeah, but what do.

You what do you mean? She said, Amy, this other flight attendant that we work with, and we know each other fairly well, because this is back when we were at the regional airline, which is like way smaller than the one that I work out at now. And she's like, that's Amy's boyfriend. And I was like, you're joking, Like,

With him, Well, he borrowed your tent and then sucked this girl. Yes, God, damn dude, that's I see, like, what's the I don't know. I don't that sounds stressful.

Yeah, because so I was thinking, Okay, he was dating me and then Amy was the side check, but no, he.

Was dating chick.

He was dating both of us full on. Neither of us were the side check. He had introduced both me and Amy on different days of the week to his friends and his fucking brother as his girlfriend, and they all kept the secret.

That's why I don't know how the fuck he thought that would eventually end.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So he actually, like like a day after my coworker spilled the beans to me and told me like, hey, that's fucking Amy's boyfriend, he sent me a text and said it's not working out. He was like, you're an angel, but this just isn't isn't working out, So I think we should break up. And I just looked at that text and I was like, Okay, so you like chose her over me, which like I don't like at this point, like I'm not heartbroken, like

So did the other girl break out with him too?

Yeah, one hundred percent she But it was so bad because so I was kind of like iffy on this guy, Like there was things I liked about him, but there was also like a lot of stuff I didn't like about him, and I probably would have just broken up with him like in a few months myself. So I wasn't really like heartbroken at all. I was just like really angry that I had been made.

A fool of.

But this other girl that I work with, she thought that she was gonna like have babies with him and get married.

Oh this girl Amy, Yeah, was she was when you talked to her, when you when you spilled the beans to her? What did she say?

She was sobbing. It was extremely uncomfortable, and I felt guilty for having told her, But like, really, what else was I supposed.

To do right?

Right? It was part of you like wondering if you did the right thing even, Yeah, but.

Like I should have told he, like what else then I supposed to be.

Right, Yeah right, yeah, God, there's just I think there's just something. There's gotta be something about, like defying gravity by piloting an airplane with you know, one hundred people in it to safety. That just makes you feel like you can do anything.

No, he's a fucking idiot. He's a moron. I remember one time we were in a fucking Starbucks parking lot and he couldn't figure out why his car was making a funny noise when he was backing up, and I had to look him dead in the eyes and release the fucking emergency break.

Damn. And this guy flies planes.

Yes, that's why there's two of them.

Hmmm. See, I feel like I feel like a co pilot. Co pilots are They're definitely like the nice guys of the pilot, you know what I mean. I feel like, if you're looking to really settle down, you go for a co pilot, not a pilot.

No, that's that's him. He's he's the first officer. The first officer is in the right seat. They're the co pilot.

He's not even a real.

Pot that's oh my god, you don't say that. They're not real pilots to their faces.

Maybe that's you know what, that's probably what it fucking is, right, is he's like he's he's so close to being a real pilot, and so he's just compensating for every for like he's like, I need to have as many girlfriends as possible. I need to like, like he's just I mean, the crushing insecurity of almost being a pilot that's got to get to someone.

Yeah, that, honestly, that might be a part of it, because I do know, like for a fact, that he must be super insecure to have to like juggle to women at the same time, because like, but yeah, I never thought about the the co pilot dynamic, Like yeah, maybe he does feel inadequate.

I'm I'm mainly just saying these things as jokes, but that they could be.

True.

I don't know, So what do you what do you have to Oh, okay, so now he's coming back.

Yeah, so I I transferred from regional to mainline and it's it's a way bigger airline. So I'm thinking, Okay, I'm never gonna fucking see this guy again because he had like lower seniority than I did, and I thought he would just fucking stay at Regional and I saw him like right before I left for disability. I had a flight where he was there, and when we did the briefing together, I just totally zoned out and I

You have to be like a crew. Yeah that's wild, goddamn, But like.

I just I like froze and like didn't know what's Like. I was like so angry because like it's it's just really bad terms. And also it's kind of like freaky because when we when I did find out what the fuck he was doing, I like reamed him out through text message. And I also went to his apartment and to get my stuff, Like he told me to like

Bike and stole his bike. Why did you?

Because he was dragging me on bike rides all the time and I actually got really into it, and he had like multiple bikes, like bicycles, and I was like, you know what, I'm going to use this more than you do. Oh wait, sorry, I'm missing car of the story. So Amy, the other woman, she lent him his car, her car, and when he had her car, he damaged it. I'm not really sure of the specifics, but I guess he like damaged her car and it was like a couple hundred bucks of repairs. And before they broke up,

It's too complicated at that point. Car, that's too complicated at that point. What okay, So what are you doing now, Like, are you are you are? Do you are you dating anyone? Are you chilling? What's what's going on?

Yeah, I'm kind of over it. I'm just yeah, it's hard to trust people after finding out that they like, yeah, just some of the details of like what this guy did to juggle to women at the same time is like really fucking scary and like, I just don't trust people anymore.

Mm hmm, yeah, yeah, I can see. Uh, I can see why. I can see why. It's crazy people trust that man every day. It's not well, I guess he's the co pilot. He doesn't really do anything. I was gonna say, if people trust him too so really so if you if you tell him he's not a real pilot, he'll get is so mad.

Oh he could not take a joke, Like I remember, why do you.

Think is he really? Is he not a real pilot? Is he a real pilot? I might be honest, is a real pilot.

He's a real pilot. He's just he's a man child.

I don't know what were you gonna say. You said you were making fun of him?

Oh, he just he couldn't take a joke. Like I remember one time I made a joke about his landings being rough, and instead of laughing, he got like really upset. And that was like the moment I knew that it wasn't gonna work out.

You made a joke about his landings being rough, did he? I think that's I think it's important for the landings, like the most the landings when most people like die right.

Yeah, takeoff and landing is like eighty five percent of all accidents.

So what's your name again, Stephanie, Stephanie, Sophie. I'm sorry that, uh, this has broken your trust in people, especially in pilots, you.

Know, oh, oh my god. Yeah, it's to anyone listening. Never fuck a pilot, like I was stupid by doing it myself. But like they are notorious womanizers.

The older they.

Get they get, the more perverted and like fucking weird they get. Just just don't do.

It, fucking fucking uber driver instead, they'll be much more grateful. Yeah, Stephanie, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Probably just don't ship where you eat, like, never hook up with.

A coworker mm hmm, especially not in the sky.

But so my question is, should I be nice to him if I see him again? Or should I be mean to him? Like? Am I justified to be mean to him?

All right, I'm going to answer that question with this question to you, and like you don't have to answer this right away, but like to answer that this is what this is what I would think about in this situation. Should you be nice to him? Should you be mean to him? Truly think about that. You don't have to answer right now, but like, which of those two things will make your life easier?

Probably just ignoring him.

M I can't answer that question for you, but that's how I would frame what you just asked.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just hard because part of me wants to like make his life miserable while we're working together, and then the other part of me is like you're like like you're an ass whole, or like you're pathetic if you like care so much.

Again, it's a question of what's going to make your life and your day easier, right, Because sometimes harboring anger and trying to get back at people is a distraction from happiness, and then other times it feels good. But sometimes that that good feeling is like is a vice of some kind. But I you know, I can't answer that question for you, but that's how I would think about it. Okay, thank you for calling, Stephanie, and I hope maybe one day I will ask you in the sky for a bag of.

Peanuts bag of pretzels. That sounds good too, all right, Thanks for taking my call, dude.

Bye, Stephanie. Kay see Hey folks, this is Lyle. I am very excited to announce that I am going back on tour in twenty twenty four to do Therapy Gecko Live all across the country. If you've never been to one of my live shows before, they're basically like giant group Geko therapy sessions where people from the audience come on stage to talk to a gecko about whatever they want, just like we do right here on the podcast. Plus I mix in a few stories and presentations and little

How you doing?

I'm doing all right, man? What'd you want to talk about today?

So?

I've just moved into my apartment about two weeks ago, and the previous tenant came over last night and she knocked on my door. Let's me backtrack a little bit. Ten minutes. Part of her knocking on my door. The neighbor next door. I was walking in the hall ready to come back to my apartment, and he goes, hey, did you get new floors. I'm like, yeah, I think I got new floors. They looked fresh, they looked clean meat. So after that happened, ten minutes later, the previous tenant

Like, so.

Yeah, keep going. I'm not I want to interrupt anymore.

Okay, thank you, thank you. So I let her in and she showed me her id. She was explaining how she was the previous tennant and that she wanted to come in and see something about something she had to pay for. I believe it was something with the floors in the window and things of that nature. So I let her in, showed her around. And this is bold of me. I usually don't let strangers in. You know what I'm saying. I don't really like dealing with a whole lot of people coming into my personal space. Is

Gonna story to ask what a dab of cereal milk means, but go.

Ahead, Oh, a dab of cereal milk.

Sogd Just continue?

Okay, my bad. So so I let her in, I let her sew you know, I sold her around. And after I showed her around for a little bit, she was like starting to touch up on me a little bit, starting to touch my shoulder. In my head, I'm thinking, why is she touching me like this? But at the same time, I'm like, I watch a let her keep touching me. Fucking so she asked. I was in my head. I was like, should I tell her my egg, which I'm twenty four, by the way, Should I tell her my egg? Or should I? I said?

Fuck? All right, you haul on it. You're cutting out. I don't know what your your your phone is like getting horny listening you tell the story, and it's it's driving a car, so you're cutting What do you keep repeat where you were saying? You were cutting out? And I know that you're You're probably horny and running all around your house right now, so just stay in one place and continue speaking.

All right, I'll sit down.

I'll sit down on my bed.

Okay, great?

You I love you too. So well, she started rubbing up on my shoulder, and in my head I was thinking, damn, should I tell her? No? No, no, I was son her my age. She hasked about my age, so I told her I was twenty four, and she was like, damn, I'm double your age. I'm like, what do you mean you're double my age? She pulls out her id again. Turns out she was double my age. She was born I believe nineteen seventy eight, which I thought was crazy. I'm like, damn, you want to rub up on me?

Wow, that's uh, that's fucking awesome. Man, that's a that's.

It was cool.

That's really hard to come back over. That's really cool. Did she message you again? What's what?

Are you?

Are you going to message her? What's up?

So I messaged her the pictures that she needed for her little apartment and then she said, oh, thank you. You know, I really want to get back together sometime with you. And I said, whenever you're free, you're more than welcome to come over. And then she just hearted my message and loved it on red.

Yeah, because I mean when something like that happens to you, I you probably you know, she leaves right, and then you just start fantasizing all the fucking crazy porn scenarios that you have and you're like, oh my god, and then you're like, oh, it's all gonna happen, and then she hearts your message and you're like, oh no, it's over. Yeah, it's over. It's gone. So yeah, whatever was up with her that day was is the Is she is fixed?

I don't know, But between me and you, I think she want to fuck sheet this weekend.

I don't know. Man. The heart react on the message followed by nothing is it tells a different story. But I'm I look, I'm I'm, I'm I. I hope that you live your fairy tale dream.

I really hope I do too, man, because there's some ship out of a movie and I couldn't leave it. I still can't believe it.

How's your sex life going otherwise?

Besides that, it's honestly been very quiet. I was living up my grandmothers for two years, saving up trying to get back out of debt to be able to get into this new apartment that I'm in, so thank God for that. God did so once I moved out of the apartment. Now I'm really trying to explore more being into sexually active and things of that nature. But I don't want to go around fucking everything to have the ad and that wear some fucking genes. So we're gonna see.

Um. Yeah, man, you know this, I'm trying to think of why this woman started making out with you, and if there's any like a weird alternative, well, like maybe she's trying to like sue the landlord and like having you as a booty call is like away into the apartment.

You know that might be what it truly is, because I truly don't understand either. What does a person double my age have any business doing at seven o'clock at nine? By the way, she mentioned she had an eighteen year old daughter, So what you doing coming over here trying to fuck around and then go back home? To your daughter, like, get the fuck.

Out of here.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why anyone ever does anything, but I sometimes that is true. Sometimes you don't even sometimes you don't want to know the answers to those questions.

Absolutely absolutely, I might have to discover. I might not will allow to see.

We'll have to see.

Mm hmm. Some people. I think some people are saying that your brag you called in just a brag, but I don't, which my don't say anything, which might be true, but I don't. I don't care. That was Look I wish I that's a fun brag, it's a worthy brag. Brag away. Are you still there?

Yeah?

I'm still here. To cut out a little bit.

Okay, I just don't let this woman murder you.

Oh, absolutely not. We'll have to see and chat. I did not come into brag. Honestly. This was just so spontaneous, and you got to keep in mind, I haven't been sexually active in two years, so for this.

Whole time to come up that it is crast do you why do you think you had? Why do you feel like you haven't been sexually active in two years? What's been going on?

Because I've been living at my grating's house. Like, what am I supposed to do? Have a woman come over and be like, hey, granny going to the other room, I'm about to fuck this trick or real quick, Like, no, I.

Can't do that.

Rect And you could always you could have sex with your grandmother. I don't know why I said that. I really I don't want to do it, and I don't regret I don't and I don't regret saying it. I did and I can't take it back, and we're putting it on the internet forever. What's your name again?

My name is Cereal Milk.

Cereal Milk. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

You know what? Man Alaska is the Sydney out of state. And by the way, Loud, I came to the show in Vegas last year. It was amazing.

Oh cool.

I wish Vegas was on the tour list again. But it's all good.

I might have to buy you know, all right? You know what, I'm gonna tell you something. I was like you mother, I was I got offered to go back to Vegas today and I was debating if I was going to do it. But now I'll I guess I'll do it.

Now, Please do it? Please do it?

All right, I'll go all right, man, appreciate. Is there anything else you want to say to the I guess I think I asked you that already. But take care of cereal milk and God bless.

You, God bless you. Wow forever.

Thanks man. Why did I say that? If that that guy could have sex with his grandma? Because sometimes it's fun to say horrible things. Oh my god, Hey, what's up?

Man?

Hey? This gag?

Yeah?

Is this? Who is this?

This is Paris?

Well, what's going on Paris?

Well, I'm not doing too good right now, to be honest with you. I got four broken ribs and like five or six more that are fractured, and then two of my spinal things got knocked out of alignment when I got into a car accident two days ago, and this woman pulled me from the burning car. So that was quite good, kind of a little Guardian angel moment. But yeah, so that was basically how I've been feeling for the past couple of days. Because that's a little

No, no, no, no, no, I'm looking at I'm looking at there we go. Yeah, this is a picture of you in the hospital bed. Oh shit, this is a picture of the car. The car looks pretty fucked.

Yeah, the car is fucked.

And then right underneath that is is yep, a big picture of your cock.

Oh that I didn't mean to send you. That's my fault.

No, these pictures look crazy.

Man.

This car looks like it's uh, that was the car. I wish I could. I mean, it's like a reactions enough. This is an audio medium. But yeah, this car looks like it's completely Oh yeah, it was on fucking fire man, So like, how'd you get out?

Literally exploded?

Uh?

I was knocked out, unconscious and this woman, ah, well, actually first I was in the passenger seat, right, So first the guy who's in the driver's seat, who is a friend but so an acid dealer and had acid on him. So he pulled me out of the car and then started running because I guess it wasn't on fire at that point. And then the woman across the street noticed it was on fire and saw me laying in the middle of the road and pulled me away from the the fire. And then that's when I woke up.

Damn, dude, that's some action movie shit that you just escaped out of.

Yeah, definitely felt like it. We got t boned into two telephone poles, I guess, according to you know what they told me at the afterwards at the accident site. But then I just kind of went in the ambulance. But the biggest problem was since that he wasn't there, they thought I was driving, and I said my name was my brother's name, and I don't even really remember

Is that is that pause to ask me if that's fraud?

I don't know.

I'm not I'm not the guy for any of your legal questions. Unfortunately, probably not. But it's okay though, I don't know. Man, Yeah, that's a that's an attorney tom question. But well, I hear, let's talk about this though, how do you feel? Uh, I mean, just how do you feel in general? Are you have you are you making any changes to your life now that you almost died?

Yeah, definitely, I kinda. I mean I was obviously a little messed up to be in the passenger seat of my own car, you know what I mean? So I uh well, well, I say, in my own car, but it was a family car. We kind of me and my brother share a vehicle, shared a vehicle.

Mh.

I no longer have that right at this point.

The vehicle yeah, oh, but he got a.

Rental and obvious and I'm not going to ask to drive it anytime soon.

Okay. Anyway, so all right, man, So like, how did you how do you feel about you had a near death experience? You know, how does that? Yeah, how did that be anything? What did that become for you?

Uh? Well, I was pretty at first, I was pretty like sad in the way that I was like, oh, man, I kind of wish I had died. But then a lot of that is because I had a best friend who died very recently, so that like added to my sadness a bit. But then once I was in the hospit and they like told me about all my wounds

Well? Why did you? And you know, luck can get into this if you if you want, or we don't have to if you don't want to. But why did you feel like you wish you would have dined?

Well, just because I've been pretty depressed since he died, and I was really upset with myself for having you know, been out that late at night and letting all this happen, and also in a lot of pain, I guess too, So it was just kind of a combination of all that because I usually I would say, I'm like, not suicidal, but maybe wish I had been aborted, But like, uh I, I did genuinely feel like it in the moments, not in the moments afterwards, but once I kind of was

And then in terms of how you feel like you're going to act differently in the future, you know, tell me more about that.

Uh well, first of all, I am gonna make sure that I trust more sparingly. I mean, I shouldn't have put I should have not put anyone in that position to be driving my car unless like they're my brother or something like that. If I wasn't, you know, ah affed up on the asset, I would have you know, been fine to drive myself home. And I also in the past have had.

Some like.

I would say, issues with drinking. But this kind of made me realize that I can't, you like, use any mind altering substance that much for sure. And then also just being more cautious with like, well, I guess it was kind of out a character for me. To do that in the first place, but just making sure that I realized when I'm like about to do something that's dumb and like manage or something, I give it was a bad decision to go out late at night to do acid in the first place.

M hmm, well, you know, I mean, look, going out late at night and doing acid, I think I don't think that was a horrible decision until you involved a car.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm glad to hear that you're uh processing this in a in a beneficial way, right, because man, you totally could have died and you didn't, and now you're you're giving a new chance to make better decisions.

Yeah, that's I'm still kind of feeling like I'm coming to terms with the whole like near death aspect of it all. Like I feel like I haven't fully sank in, but I definitely feel a lot more grateful than I had in the past, like for being alive.

That's good. That sounds like the opposite of suicidal.

Yeah, well now, yeah, I feel I feel more like, uh engaged to not want to, uh you know, have anything like that happen again, or you know, die in some kind of accident or something like that I want to make sure that I can do something that, uh, you know, at the end of the day, matters a little bit.

What do you want to do that you think will matter?

Well, I went to film school. I went to ny U Tish for UH filmmaking and minored in uh screenwriting, And so I've been trying. I've been trying to uh sell scripts and stuff like that. I mean, I've sold a couple, but there's not a lot of buzz on my name right now. After the writer's strike and everything, things kind of uh reset. I feel like I'm back

Are you going to adapt any of this into into your writing at all?

I mean, if I got a budget where I could crash a car, I would do it. But I don't think I would go out of my way to do that on a on a you know, personal budget. But I think that it definitely would be good for a screen writing And that's a actually a really beneficial idea that I don't know why I didn't think of, like sooner.

What's your name again, man, Paris, like to be in France, Paris. Well, thanks for sharing the story, Paris. Yeah again, I'm happy to hear that you're processing it very well. You know, is there any other aspect of any of this or anything at all that you want to shore or say before we go?

Yeah? I mean, I guess what would be your general take on like near death experiences and stuff like that, and how to kind of you know, how they might like either change your life or how they can make your outlook better.

Well, that one's easy. I mean, look, man, you got nothing if you're dead, right, And so the things that stress you out in life, like you know, I'm not selling enough screenplays, or oh my friend's mad at me, or oh this or that, any day to day problemly, even if it's a big one, I mean, any day to day stress or whatever, it just fucking pales in comparison to the stress that you you've experienced of being on a car, of being in a car on fire.

I Uh.

One of my one of someone of my family actually was in it was in a car accident. And she told me that every time something annoying happens to her, like, you know whatever, there's there's like a long line at the grocery store. She she imagines this. She's like, she imagines herself in a burning car and and and an angel comes to her and says, now listen, now the car is on fire. And the angel says, now listen, I can cut you with deal. I can let you out of this burning car, but in return you have

I guess is more of a literal case with me, because I did have a woman physically pulled me out of the car. Kind of a guardian angel situation, so I can take that one literally.

Take care, Paris. Thank you very much for calling.

Love you, ghek, Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. First time call a long time.

Take care. I hope to see your name on a on a movie someday.

Yes, sir, when you do, make sure to shout it out. And you know, if I get to direct it, I'll throw you a bone and give you a cameo. If you want to old roll, I'll give you a big one.

Yeah.

When I you know, when when my career is uh all the way at its bottom, I will very much accept your bone. Take care of parts. Hello, Hi, what is your name?

Holy shit?

Oh, my name's Steph.

What's up Steph? Would you want to talk about today?

I don't really have anything too crazy going on. I mean, there's always stuff, but nothing that I need like urgent advice on.

That's good. So your life is perfect and nothing bad has happened to you.

It's pretty no no, no, definitely bad stuff a lot, but like I feel like I don't know, like you've had some crazy stuff on yours, Like I none of my stories are as crazy you know.

It's fun Okay, so there's a phone there was a caller. It's always funny when people say that. They're like, oh, I feel like I have nothing to talk about because you you know, you have all these crazy stories of people, you know, getting into a weird sex colts and doing methamphetamine and running from the cops in Argentina. But you know, one of my favorite phone calls, and maybe it wasn't the call itself, what it was the idea behind it.

Yeah, I guess it's about like how you tell it versus like the actual content. Sometimes I don't know. Well, I guess the main thing on my mind is I have like five more months on my lease in my current city, and I'm trying to think about like my next moves. I'm like, should I move home for a couple of months and save it and then move. Or should I just move straight to another city and just be struggling again?

Or you're struggling with paying rent?

Yeah, I'm only like a couple years postgrad, but yeah, I'm like struggling to pay rent, which is fine. You know, I don't really live like a super expensive lifestyle anyway, but it would be nice to like have a little extra money. So I've thought about when my lease is up, like moving home for a couple months, which I would hate, Like I wouldn't even have like a room, Like I'd

What do you do?

I'm a graphic designer?

Okay, cool? What do you like? Are you cool with your parents? Uh?

Yeah, that's fine, all right.

I mean, listen, man, I've said this a billion times on here, but I've done that. I mean, I started doing this podcast in my mom's basement. Granted, if I didn't have my own room, and if I didn't have my own private like space, I think that would drive me significantly more insane.

But yeah, that's the thing, like she it's just my mom because my dad lives somewhere else. She just has like a small apartment now, so I'm like it would be really cramped and like my younger brother would probably be there this summer too.

M hm.

So it's like, where is it?

Look, I don't think it's a terrible idea. Uh, this is this is we're getting into financial advice gecko now. But I don't think that living at home to save money is a is a horrible idea. I mean, can you what what city? What city are you in?

I'm silly.

Why don't you get once you get Like I lived in Philly. I had like a bunch of roommates and the rent was cheap as hell. There's so many like there's can't you live in? Uh? Can't you live in like one of the neighborhood in Philly and get a bunch of roommates? And I.

Don't like Philly, Like I'm trying to.

Leave Silly, No Philly rocks. What are you doing you like about Philly? Oh?

I don't know, Like I don't really like the cold. So that's like one thing, and I don't know, it feels a little bit limited. And I grew up in New York, so it just feels a little bit like small comparison.

Mm hm hmmm. I don't know, man, I think Phillys is six. Are you trying to move to New York because if that's the case, you're gonna have to live on your mom's couch for the next five years.

That's true. No, I kind of want to move to like the West Coast. That's why I'm like, I probably should save money first.

What's a nice I mean, not La right, m hmm, maybe okay, because I mean I'm trying to think of, like, what are some cheap nice city. I think Phoenix is like, and correct me if I'm wrong, Phoenicians. But I think Phoenix is like like an up and coming, moderately affordable West Coast cities. And it's hot as balls there, so it's it's hot enough to make up for however many cold years you spent in Philadelphia.

Yeah, I have heard about Phoenix. I'm thinking about it. I'm not really thinking too much about where I'm gonna move yet more, just like if I should just send it or not?

Do you do you have a job you have to like, like, as a designer, do you have to like go into a place or are you beat booping on the computer.

So I work like at a law firm, so it's like all remote. I mean they have offices places, and I do go in, but like it's not really essential that I go in every.

Day, live your live, your digital nomad life. Dog.

Well, the thing is like technically we're supposed to even like when I go in, it's really just to like hang out with my coworkers that are my friends. But like technically we have to go in like a couple of times a week.

So mm hmmm.

So I just have to move somewhere where they have an office.

Where do they have offices?

Like a lot of places?

Okay, do they have Do they have offices in Phoenix, Arizona?

Unfortunately no?

Do they exclusively have offices in cities with extremely high cost of living but also can't pay in those fucking cities.

Yeah that sounds about right.

Well, I don't know, man, I mean I don't know. I mean I like Philly, but that well, I don't know why I'm telling you that. That's me liking Philly has absolutely nothing to do with your situation at all. Uh, you could live, I don't know where you could live? Where could you live? Where do you want to live?

I don't know. I mean I've thought about like spending a year like abroad or something like I think that'd be really cool, but I don't know. He's like, I have this issue where like I'm like twenty four, and I'm so scared to like go live abroad that or like go fuck around for another year and then like first I don't know. I always just like worry about

You are you're afraid to start looking for a husband at twenty eight.

Well, yeah, I guess like I'm afraid to waste time abroad and then first start settling down like kind of late.

Yeah.

I don't understand why you look at it as a waste of time.

I know that's true. That's what people are telling me. Like I can't like think about a timeline. It's just like live in a moment and then you know, whatever happens.

Look, anytime I've ever left the country, I've never been like, you know, I wish I actually Okay, well, okay, I'm gonna tell you what I was about to say, and then I'm gonna tell you I second guessed it. I was about to say, I've never left the country and then been like and then came back and been like, I wish I spent that time looking for a wife. But I second guessed it because maybe I should have spent that time looking for a wife. I don't know, I don't know. But the point, I've never left the

Yeah. No, that's definitely true. That's definitely true.

That's cool, man. I don't know. My my and my parents met their current spouses when they were like forty something, so this time.

Wow, but did they have kids? El eight two.

Old?

How old am I? How old is anyone? I think my parents had me when they were in like their late thirties or something like that.

Let's good to know.

Plus, Hey, maybe you go abroad and you meet a foreign guy. Yeah that could be cool. Isn't that everyone's fantasy to like meet a hot European dude and get on his moped and never come back. Not well, that never comes back. That sounds like that sounds like taken. That doesn't sound like the fantasy. But you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like most of my friends like have no interest in that that specific fantasy or most of you most.

Of your friends are married to their rural Pennsylvania boyfriends.

No, not necessarily, but like I don't know the whole like being like in a whole nother country and like finding someone there, like so far away from like friends and family, Like isn't super appealing to me?

To you?

Yeah, like to me, like, I'm not.

But I thought you just said you wanted to you were thought about living.

Abroad, Yeah, but it would only be for like a year or two probably, mm hmm.

Well, I don't know. I I would I mean, if if I were, if you're asking, I'm not going to tell you what to do, even though I if you're asking me what I think about this situation, I would tell you that you're not going to be old and decrepit at the age of twenty eight.

Yeah, I know. I don't know why I think I am. Like when I hit twenty two, I feel like I just spent downhill.

I don't know. I haven't. I've never left the country and came back and been like I should have spent time looking for a wife. But maybe I should have. I don't know. I this is why it's weird having a I wouldn't call this an advice show. This is a This is a Gecko Show more than anything. But it's weird because I don't know what makes any I don't know. I don't know it's going to make you

Yeah.

No, I mean it's not just that. I just always worry, like, oh if I send you here to abroad and come back, like I'm not gonna be behind in my job and like other stuff. But I gotta live in the.

Present, Stephanie. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go? No, that was decisive. I like that. Thank you for calling Stephanie.

Good luck, Thank you, have a good night.

I think I'm gonna I'm gonna end up on one of those like reality show like I wanna, Oh you know what I should do? I should do The Bachelor. Gek like it like a player. That's a sound as good as I thought it. I thought it was gonna I thought I was gonna be able to successfully rhyme Bachelorette with Bachelor gek, but that didn't work. I think that's what's gonna end up happening is I'm just gonna everyone has to try on a gecko costume, and whoever can be a gecko, the best I will give. I

All right.

Now, I'm actually kind of into this idea. I think that sounds cool. Who gets the green rose? All right, we're doing it. We're doing the Bachelor. Ghak. All I need is, uh, how much money does it cost to make a reality TV show? Actually, now I'm thinking about it, sounds like a lot of work. I'll think of something. Everything goes on the line, making your phone calls every night, Everything goes teaching news live. He's an experture