Hey everybody, it's Lyle. Just a reminder that I am going on tour to do therapy Gecko live in several cities across the United States, and I would love to see you there. I will be interviewing random folks from the audience up on stage and absolutely anything could happen. It will be very fun, very terrifying, and very Gekoe. You can find the link to get tickets in your city in the episode description. Okay, let's get into the podcast.
I'll be very okay.
Hello, Hi is this Lyle?
Uh?
Yeah, what's going on.
I've been in the hospital the last few days, hanging out with my dad Kase. She almost died, but he's okay now. But that's the only like kind of thing that's got me down right now. My life otherwise is pretty great.
Well, how did he almost die?
So, my dad's kind of got a potato for a heart and a few years back he had a heart attack and after that his heart stopped and he had pneumonia too, And he also smokes like four packs a day and eats like a stick of butter every other day. Anyways, he was in the hostel for a while. They had to give him a defibrillator put even more stents in his heart. He's gone like sixtenths in his heart along
down the line. He keeps smoking. The last few months, he's been struggling getting around and went into the doctors because his defibrillator kept kicking off. He couldn't even sleep anymore because it was like almost by the hour, and his heart was at like fifteen percent. Two thirds of his heart was dead and his arteries were blocked. So he went in to do an emergency bypass surgery, but that had to be delayed because there's so much fluid
in his lungs. But they basically rebuilt his heart leg because literally he's got like kind of a new heart.
How do they rebuild a heart, I guess neither of us was aad question.
But no, no, not like a robot heart. But so years ago, you know, when they were like doing chest compressions to restart his heart, they'd broken his ribs and all of the arteries healed back into the ribs, so they couldn't use any parts of his heart alive or dead. So they opened up his arm and his legs and took some arteries from there and stitched to them into his heart.
Each. Okay, so it's like when you get plastic surgery and they take a little bit of your shoulder and they put it into your boobs.
Yes, it is exactly like that.
Okay, that's pretty cool.
Yeah it was. I can't lie. I was fucking nervous.
What how's he doing there? He's got a new.
Excuse me, he's kind of, you know, struggling rough, can't really breathe can't really walk.
He's upset.
All the food here sucks and I tried it, the apple juice, Your taste like piss.
There's nothing good there at all.
No, Like I've been trying the things that they've been giving him, Like all everything here sucked. I feel like prison suit.
Mm hmm, Well, I feel like, what what kinds of stuff does your dad eat? Now that he has a new heart. I'm sure his diet is probably very restricted.
Well, it's not supposed to really have any more butter. It's got to cut down the sodium. He really needs to stop eating so much toast bread for real?
Really, what's wrong with bread?
Oh?
That dude could eat like half a loaf of bread in a day. A man loves sandwiches.
Yeah, yeah, it really, you know, I don't know who, like, really it was that that that designed the human body. I don't know anything about that, but it was designed poorly because all the things that are delicious they make us die. And the things that are healthy, you know, they're like whatever, like lettuce and stuff. I mean, lettuce is fine, but.
It does.
That doesn't make sense to me. Why would they program us so that things that are delicious are bad? I feel like this counterintuitive.
I don't know, to teach us discipline or something. I thought life was supposed to do all about lessons, But again I didn't I didn't meet the man who made all the rules. I don't know.
Uh, you are your life is better outside of this, right, that's what you said. You said that life is going good other than this.
Yes, I was. I was listening to your podcast tuesday and you talked about how the majority of people's problems stem from relationships with other people or things that are out of their control. And I've been thinking about that and even though that is like they're pretty much number one worldwide problem, it doesn't make it any less painful.
And I've been trying to figure out how to cope with that like this experience has been different from the last one because I'm kind of seeing my dad almost like a kid, you know, like you expect to get to that age and you start taking care of your parents, you know. Well, I just turned nineteen yesterday, but I've kind of been taking care of my dad for like
the last two years. But even the last time he was in the hospital, I wasn't here like eight hours a day, you know, like i'd combine, I'd visit, stay over night every once in a while. But like it feels different, I guess taking care of him, like feeding him.
And like clean or where's what's up with your mom and the rest of your family? Where's everybody else?
So my dad's entire family sucks, and also my dad self isolates. So my mom is in a really bad relationship with a cheating husband that she just refuses to leave and he doesn't like me, so they kicked me out and let my niece move in. So I don't know, like my mom loves me, but she's like really got that. She's a really Christian lady, and I don't know she's
got that. What's that called? I don't know the word, but like basically it's ingrained into her that, like the husband is the head of the household, it's God and then the lord or whatever, they're both the same. Sorry, the Lord, your husband and then you. And so she kind of just takes his side with everything, even when it's unreasonable.
So you're you're taking care of him all by yourself. He doesn't have a significant other that's with him, or you don't have any siblings that are with you.
All of my siblings are four plus years older than me. And also it's really sad. My dad's kind of a shitty person. So I'm the only kid he's ever raised. Every other woman he had a kid with did not want him around the kid and hence took the kid.
Interesting, why do you say that he's a shitty person?
Narcissist?
Abuse of bipolar anger is which you know, being mentally ill doesn't make you a bad person, but you know, you can't excuse awful and rude behavior towards people just because you're mentally ill.
You know, So has he has he been?
You know?
Okay, so you're you're the youngest, correct, yes, And were you kind of the one where he was like, okay, I was shitty to all the other sort of opportunities, all the other daughters that I've had, and now they're older and they don't like me, but okay, here's one last chance, and I'm gonna really give it a shot. Or was he shitty to you as well?
I don't think it was on purpose, you know, I got I was an accident. So he's like in his sixties, and he comes from that generation where they were told to shove down all their traumas so they didn't heal. So they're all like emotionally stunted. I haven't really figured out. My dad kind of avoids the question when I ask, like why he chose me, because he's he's like fifteen
years older than my mom. My mom was an immigrant was the first year when she ended up having me, so she was still illegal at the time, and it was such a weird dynamic. He made me hate my mom growing up, and he vied to me for so long, and like his justification was that he got my mom deported to keep me here in America, because being raised in America is you know, so much better.
He got your mom deported, But then yeah, he got your mind deported. How does him getting your mom deported keep you here?
Well, no, no, no, it wasn't relevant in that it was just adding to the story of like my dad told me all these lies. So long story short, he just ended up doing a really bad job because he he's not the smartest man I've ever met, especially financially, so he's kind of always been poor.
We grew up super poor, so.
He was just working all the time. He would let out work anger on me because you know, super duper bad anger.
Issues and has tried.
But he did a really shitty job.
Has your relationship with him improved at all or has it kind of stayed at the same shitty baseline for you know, most of your life.
It changed for a few months, but it wasn't really real. He finally ended up meeting this girl, and it was a horrible situation.
That's the whole other story.
She moves in like two months after they met, and he just completely changes and he's talking to me nice. He's not cursing at me anymore. He does all these things for this woman. He would cook for her and he would clean, like my dad did not take care of me as a kid. My dad's best friend, who I called my uncle, is the person who basically raised me because he wasn't really a dad. So he was nice for a few months, and then she ended up
ghosting him. She like stopped taking her meds, just packed up all her things one day, left blocked from everything, didn't even say anything, and he like completely broke and that was really hard to watch. And he kind of like reverted back, but into like an even worse version because he wasn't really just like angry anymore. He was like depressed, like super depressed.
Where where is because in our relationship kind of your dad's uncle right now? Is he not your dad's but your uncle your dad's friend right now? Is he not in the picture?
So my dad, being not the nicest guy, has this tendency to push everybody away and treat everybody really horribly, and right around the age of thirteen, they he already kind of treated him like shit. He was just super rude to him, ordered him around like a dog, you know. And one day my uncle's, one of my uncle's family members died. He didn't find out until two days before the funeral. Funerals in Illinois, which is like an eight hour drive, and he really wanted to go, and my
dad was like, no, you can't go. You have to like, you have to stay here. We can't plan that. He's so mad that he just left anyway, you know, he went to the funeral and he comes back and my dad was literally pretending like he didn't exist. I remember, for a week straight, like he wouldn't acknowledge him, he wouldn't respond to him, he wouldn't talk to him. And one morning it was just like normal and I was getting ready for school and I just said bye, and
he said, by, I see you after school. When I came home and all those things are packed and is gone, and I didn't hear from him for like five years. So now he's still in Illinois. He just got married, but we don't really talk like that.
Anymore.
So what has been keeping you taking care of your father? If you have had all these bad experiences with him?
I think my only reasoning now, And I don't know why I feel this way. I feel like invalid for agreeing with everyone else, because like I talked to real therapists, and I've talked to my friends, and I talked to my mom, and everyone's just like you just to leave and cut this ma out of your life. You know, like he only drives me down. But it's like I feel bad because all he has and he's all alone, and I would not want to die alone. And so I just want to be their friends every day.
You know, tell me more about you than your real therapists have told you about this.
So she says, I have a abandonment issues, understandably, and I have a problem letting things go. And even when you know people hurt me, I justify it because I just see everybody is myself, you know, just a little human doing the best they can with the level of
consciousness they have. And she thinks that I I need to keep him blocked out of my life, Like there are times but he's kicked me out so many times, and he'll blocked me for a few months and then unblocked me, you know, and he's like, why haven't you talked to me? And she always thinks I just need to keep him gone because you know, he does kind of bring me down sometimes, but I love him. I could never hate him.
I don't know.
I just don't agree with her on that standpoint. Yeah, Like she thinks she tells me I should put myself first, and I agreed with that. I always tried to, but this one thing, this one thing really goat me.
Man, what one thing.
My dad whole situation?
Let me ask you this is there. You know what do you think you are giving up or sacrificing of yourself in your life, if anything, to take care of your.
Dad, my mental health and my physical health okay, and time to be invested doing school work and also going to my actual jobs.
Uh okay, so it's a lot.
I haven't been to work the last few days. It's going to be a few more days. And like I've been financially independent since I was, you know, a young teen. So money is important because we live in a horrible time where everything is super expensive.
Yeah, we do, we do? You know this is this is interesting. Yes, you are sacrificing a lot of yourself to take care of this guy who hasn't been great to you but is your father. You have lots of people, your therapist, people you know, with legitimate care and concern for you, who are telling you that you shouldn't be making those sacrifices, and you don't agree with them. It seems like there's a lot of dissonance between Okay, should
I do this? Should I be doing this, my doing the right thing, and fuck I'm I'm I'm sitting here with you right now wondering the same exact thing.
I think it's.
Not really I think I have this feeling that I would feel guilty if I chose to leave and take care of myself, because he would just be dealing with strangers, you know. M.
Well, you know again, I'm wrestling all of this in my head. I think that whatever you decide to do, I don't think you should feel guilty about it either way. I don't think that there is a.
Cree well I haven't figured out. I haven't figured out how to not feel guilty about it. And see that's how I feel, because I'm like, well, it should be valid either way, because I am my own human. It's not like, you know, I asked to be born. It's not like he made me just to be his caretaker, you know, like I am my own individual. M. I don't know, man, you know something about human relationships and connections in the human brain being wired to care about other people.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
It is it does make decisions hard because I'm sitting here. At least my thought process with this is like, you know what is important in life? Is it important to you that you sacrifice of yourself for other people, even if they don't deserve it, just because that's what you want to do. That's what you you know as a human being in a weird way, because yes, you are. You are your own human being and you get to
make your decisions and justify them however you want. And with that you can make your executive decision that, you know what, it's important to me to sacrifice of myself for this guy, even if you might not deserve it, because that's just my life philosophy. That's how I feel
I should live. And you know what, that would be okay, And it would also be just as okay for you to go, you know what, this guy doesn't deserve And it's important for me to figure out my own stuff because I'm young and I got to take care of myself here and I need to do these things that are important to me, and that's my life philosophy, and that
would be okay too. And both of them are decisions that you would be making as your own independent person and as a person who gets to decide what is important to them in their life, and theo's are really hard decisions to make, especially very young. You know, I'm still making those decisions. Everyone listening to this is still making their decisions on what is important to them in life. It's hard to navigate, it, really really is. But I don't think either way. You know, the guilt seems like
it's the big thing here. And I'm telling you, whichever thing you decide to do, you know, if you decide to take care of him and you feel guilty about nickol acting other aspects of your life, if you decide not to take care of him and you feel guilty about leaving him, the guilt to me has no place because you're sitting here, really truly, truly doing the best you can here. And this is a hard, hard thing and you're a thinking, feeling person doing the best you
can with this situation. And so why I feel guilty When you did the best you could. You know everything that was in your control, you really gave patient, deep thought to it. You didn't just throw it by the wayside. You thought about this decision really long and really hard,
and you made way. Ever, the best one was with the information and the feelings you had at the time, and I think that's a lot, and I don't think it's something to be, you know, feeling feeling guilty or or you know, regretful about whatever you decide, because you you really are doing your best here. I don't have any of that made sense, No, it.
Made sense.
It did make me think a little bit differently.
Mm hmm.
You're right.
I am just doing the best I can with what I'm feeling, and I really want to put myself first. I think that's what I'm feeling. I think that's I've been feeling so bad mm hm, because I feel like that I have to do this for some like moral value or standard that I hold.
Mm hmm.
But I don't.
No, go ahead, I want to. I want to hear the rest of your thoughts.
I it is.
I think it is okay if I am not emotionally capable of handing handling some things in my life mm hmm, even if they seem really detrimental. I think it is okay to know how much I can handle and be able to walk away from that. And I don't know why I've been impleheeing that.
Mm hmm. I agree. I think that's okay too, because you're as you said you could you you know, you you get to make your own decisions about all these things. You know, there's no I mean, fuck this this moral standard that you're talking about, it's it's not defined by anyone except for you, and it can be malleable and you don't want it to, you know, hold you hostage to things that don't serve you.
I don't know why I stopped living my life like that. I used to live my life like that all the time. To keeping the things in my life that served me. When they no longer serve.
Me, I would let go.
M I appreciate your validation.
Yeah, I appreciate you being so vulnerable on the on the phone here with us.
And I I feel a burden is not the word, maybe not like annoying, well maybe a little annoying.
I feel.
I feel really a note alone because I feel bad like talking to people about it, because it's just like, you know, like what can they say. It's just like, oh, like I'm sorry, Like that's awfully you know what I tell people, you know, they're like, oh, it's wrong, Like you've been down lately, You've been so busy, and it's like, oh,
you know, my dad's in the hospital. I've been dealing with a lot of stuff when he when he kicked me out, I was I was homeless for like the last month and a half, and I don't what's that word. I guess I just felt embarrassed that that was my life even though I couldn't control it, you know, And so I've been struggling talking to people about it.
M you talked to a therapist about it, don't you.
I have not.
So we actually had our last sex session like six months ago. The last time thought to her was about two weeks ago for by Fasta because you know, I needed like documentation of homelessness, and she's been around my dad has kicked me out so many times, so like, I didn't really talk to her, really explained it, like everything that was going on, and just put her to my situation so she could help me fill out some legal forms.
H jess I. I again, I think you should do, you know, whatever you decide you're going to do. But uh, if you do decide that you are going to stop sacrificing the things that you've sacrificing and go and live your life, I want you to really lean into that you know what I'm saying. It sounds like you're holding on to like you're like embarrassed to talk about it.
You know.
It says you seem like you're embarrassed that you you were ever sacrificing any of those things. And it's not going to be as easy as just doing it. You know. Obviously you're working through a lot of emotional turmoil through this. But I hope you let that shit go because you're young, and you got a.
Whole lot of lives ahead of you, and uh, I have all these great things I want to focus on.
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's really one of fun. I hope that you you let all that shit go and that you dive into to the the wonders of the life you have ahead of you. That's kind of my That's what I'm gonna.
Try and start doing and not feel guilty about it.
Good. Good, I'm glad to hear that.
But I'm gonna do it.
Good. I'm glad to hear that. I think I think you're going to do it too. M M.
Just of course, thank you for like a year and a half.
Yeah, Well, I meant to ask when I started the poll, how are you today.
How are you doing?
How am I doing? I'm I'm a gecko on the computer. I'm hanging out. I'm riding the way love life. But listen, Jess, you know, before we go, is there anything else that we didn't get to or anything else that you want to say to the people of the computer before we go? And I want to thank you again for sharing all of this.
Thank you. I appreciate it. I wanted to shout myself out because yesterday it was my birthday and it was the first like actual fun birthday I've ever had. Usually my birthday suck, so my friends were there for me. And what I've been trying to learn since turning nineteen the last few hours is to live in the presence.
You talk about this.
Sometimes you're not just not just not being on the phone or Instagram school, but I mean actually absorbing all the information and appreciating.
All these things.
I took a lot of thanks for granted. And I'm really grateful that you answered my call. You're really lucky.
Well, thank you for sharing, Jess, and sincerely, sincerely, good luck to you.
Thank you, Lyle.
You have a good day, you too.
Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, how are you I'm good.
How are you.
I'm doing okay.
What's your name?
My name is.
Jesse, Jesse. What's going on with you today? Jesse?
So, so I guess to start. There's so, my girlfriend and I have known each other for like six years, like since the start of high school until now, and during those six years we were like just friends, the best of friends. I got a huge crush on her, like pretty immediately, but I thought she didn't feel the same, so I just I had to get over my broken heart. About three years ago, we started just doing things like
going out to movies together. We started getting dinner together, basically dating not dating, and then a month ago she asked me out. So now we are. But my problem is we both we both like talked about it, and we both want to because neither of us have had our first kiss before. But every time I try, like i'll hide myself up, I'll be like, I'll plan this whole thing out, I'll just let it do its thing, and then when the moment's right, I just go for it.
But every time the moment hits, I get super cold feet and I completely abort the mission. And I don't know how to not do that because I really like her, and I think she really likes me, and she said that she wants me to be her first kiss too.
So I don't know why we.
Both keep getting cold feet.
Interesting, I don't know why you guys keep getting cold feet either. So you both this is you and this you and this girl are dating.
Yes, okay, we're both like very comfortable with each other.
Okay, and yet neither and neither of you have have have have kissed each other before, or have kissed anyone before.
Yes, I think the closest she's come is like she used to have a boyfriend and I think like he kissed her on the cheek and she hated its period.
Okay, because that's the listen, because that's what I was thinking. Here is I mean, look, nowhere in the laws of how human beings must live their life does it state that you have to kiss anyone? You know what I'm saying. If you guys are just simply you know, you could be ace your thought about that.
I don't know, because I know this is so.
I know this is weird because we're both.
We're both like so, we're both twenty one, we're both neither of us feel like this should be like a hard step for us to take because we're really comfortable with each other. And like I said, every time, I keep trying, like I work myself up and I'm like, I'm an adult, this is the night I'm gonna do it finally, and then at the last second, I feel like like a teenage boy, and I get so scared and I completely back.
Out, what do you what are you scared of? Necessarily, if you could try real hard to think about it and put it into words.
I get I guess I'm scared that. Like she when she said this, like she had a guy kiss around the cheek and she super hated it. She like really stressed that point. Okay, And I guess I really don't I like it. It feels like we should know what we're doing. So it feels like when that moment happens, like I should just know what I'm doing. I should go for it and stop being such a.
Baby about it.
And I guess I want it.
Sounds so like.
Childish, but like I want to give her a good first kids.
Okay, So her boyfriend kissed her on the cheek and she hated it. M hm, does she just not and and that freaks you out because you don't want to kiss her and have her hate it.
I guess, so yeah, do you and I.
Go ahead? And what are you gonna say?
And I like, I've asked friends about this and they all they to the point where they I think they're getting frustrated because I keep mentioning it makes you keep saying just do it, And I don't know why I can't just get over it and just do it. And I'm pretty sure she feels the same.
Okay, let's really break down when you say get over it. Let's really break down what it is that we're getting over here, like okay, the fear, break it down for me, and whatever words you you feel like you can use, because you know, I asked you that earlier and you said, you know, you just kind of you just kind of mentioned that you know her, You mentioned stuff about, you know,
her boyfriend kiss her and she hated it. But I feel like I didn't, you know, really be honest with yourself here, because I feel like I didn't really get a good answer to that question about what's going on in your head specifically, So do your best to be honest with that answer.
I think I think it scares me because like I I really don't want to like try it kiss it. Like I know that nobody's first kiss is perfect, and I know that, like even though we're both like we're both pretty old compared to like everybody else's first kiss.
I get.
I guess it feels like there's an expectation that like, yeah, it's not gonna be perfect, but it feels like we really should like know what we're doing, and it feels like the I guess, like the moment I get to the moment of wanting to kiss her and then I completely freak out and back out.
I guess that's just.
I'm like avoiding not wanting to mess it up. I guess I'm avoiding wanting to give her a really bad kiss and having a terrible time.
Okay, great, okay, great, great, great. So it is it's a from a fear of failure in a.
Sense, I guess it is.
Yeah, okay, and it's from a fear of failure due to like a crushing weight of expectations of how things should be at a certain age and in a certain situation.
Yeah, now that sounds really right.
Okay, all right, great, all right, so cool, Now we know what we're dealing with. Yeah, wow, yeah, have you talked to her about that?
But sort of we keep saying it in a joking matter where like, oh my gosh, well, why are we both so scared of this?
Haha?
But she keeps saying that she would like to kiss me and I kiss her.
As cheesy as it.
Sounds, well, listen these expectations of how things should be.
Forget about the kissing thing for a while. It's just the general I just think, you know, Jesse, your life in general is going to be better if you abandon the expectations of how things should be in a certain situation, just in general, forget about the specific situation that you're in, but in general living by the Again, the expectations of how things should be at a certain age in a certain situation is just something that would would be of
great benefit to get over. Nobody gets over it completely, but you work on it a little bit day by day, and the expectations become a little bit less heavy. And so, if anything, look at this as a situation as an opportunity to say, you know what, I really genuinely don't care what other people think I should be, have done or should be doing by the age of twenty one in my particular romantic situation, I really don't fucking care because I live my own life.
Yeah.
And then you and and same to this this, this girl that you're with, as you should feel empowered in this similar way. And I hope that both of you summon that empowerment and then do the thing that you are desiring to do but afraid to do.
Yees think I think that makes sense.
Good? Good, Yeah. I like this as an opportunity to be That's why I wear the gecko costume unassuming Jesse, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I hope you all have good days, I guess. Thank you again, this was very helpful.
Good stuff to hear that, and good luck to you in your endeavors in the future, romantic or otherwise.
Yeah, thank you by everyone.
That was interesting. I think that was an interesting micro cosm of this situation where expectations societally about again what you should be doing in a certain situation at a certain age just are like paralyzing. And that's a whole I mean, even in that situation, it's a whole thing to get over. But that's just a general thing that a lot of people in a lot of situations have.
It's important to get over. It's something I have myself, a lot of people have it, and so this just felt like a little in her life in her life. Hopefully getting over this kissing thing helps her good over that, you know, dealing with other people's expectations in a variety of situations both her and this other girl might experience in her life. And so I hope it's it's fruitful in that way. I am a gecko. What is your name? What's going on with you? Ryan?
Not much? Not much, just hanging out. I saw the morning stream notification pop out. I was like, ah shit, And usually when I call it just it just goes straight to line is busy. So I was like, well fuck it, and then I called this time and it went straight through the go shit, you're on God situation.
It's just here that you have a theory that you would like to talk about called Frogner's glory hole.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay. So I told this to the guys I work, and it didn't really go the way I wanted it to be perceived. So I got a question for you. So let's say you're actually I'm not even gonna put up a place. It's superpop kids. So you're getting a blowjob, the best one you've ever had, or you get the offer for one.
Right, So.
The deal is you don't like, you get blindfolded and you don't ever get to know what it is. Do you try to look or do you just decline the offer?
Okay, so you are blindfolded getting the best blow job of your life? Could you should you look or not look? That's what you're asking?
Well, I mean, okay, so there's there's rules, of course, but my first question is would you attempt to look or would you just The rules are that if you look, it just disappears. But I would like to know if you're natural cure curiosity, would you get the best of you or would you just take the nut for what it is?
I H so I feel like it would be I feel like it would be beneficial. See, it's hard. It's hard because you know, on one hand, it's like the blindfoldedness, the mystery of it could be a large contributing factor to the sexual experience as a whole. Right, So regardless of what you see when you take the blindfold off, you are now removing a strong variable that that could have been an important variable in the pleasure of the blowjob. Does that make sense?
Right?
So to look would be to crumble the entire experience that is making would to look would be to remove what could possibly be an important variable into how much pleasure you are receiving. That's that's one way of looking at it. The other way of looking at it is you are receiving, you know, a lot of pleasure. Is the best blow job of your life? Perhaps when you take off the blindfold and you see what is going on down there, it actually gives you greater insight site
that you can use. You know, maybe maybe the blindfoldedness, maybe the lack of sensory you know, of being able to see, was not the important variable. And you look down and you go, oh, that is actually what is making this feel so powerful. And and then you can use that moving forward as knowledge for what makes you, uh, you know, sexually pique. And it's it's it's hard to tell. It's really a gamble either way. Does that Does that anything that I said just make sense?
Yeah?
Yeah, but I always it. Okay, So now now let's get on onto. What is it called grap tacks? The rule? Okay, so number one rule is you'll never know what it is. It could be a fucking robot, it could be some guy down the street, to your neighbor, it's it's anybody. It's an open it's an open table. But you never know. And see, whenever I brought that up, everybody at work was like, that's gay. What if it's a guy? I said, you can't. I was like, that's not the point of
the fucking question. It's either it's either yes or no question.
You know, no, but but hold on, hold on, okay, but but hold on. What if? But here's the thing. What if it is a guy and it is gay? But then you're like, oh, I like getting blowjobs from guys, And then you know that about yourself now, and then you go on and you you live a happier life with that knowledge, and.
There's none wrong with that. I'm just saying, like, you cannot you cannot deny what you don't know.
I don't understand this game anymore.
Okay, Now, it's just a just a hypothetical question that I randomly made.
A how many how many different groups of people to walk out of this by Ryan.
About two.
Okay, by the way, you said this, this theory is called Frogner's glory hole. Who is Frogner?
Sure you don't know who Shrogman is? Like Schroding here, that's his name? Fuck? Ryan?
You high right now?
Yeah?
No, I like this, my guy.
I'm not sure what you just said. O love there you go, right. I'm gonna let you get back to whatever it is you were doing before you called.
The day you do.
What's your name? I'm Josh, Josh Josh. It says here that, uh, you you recently waterboarded your friend at the beach the other day because on my podcast I said that waterboarding is not that bad.
That is true, That's correct.
Okay, all right, So I do remember saying that. I do remember saying that, why and I remember saying that because it's just water. So tell me what happened.
Tell me tell the guy you waterboarded.
Oh you're the guy who got water Kyle. Okay, yes, okay, all right, So tell us was it that bad? Because I do remember saying that on the podcast.
It was it was worse.
The reason I let him do it was because I also thought that it wasn't that bad, every bit as bad as.
I thought it would be.
Even though you're saying that, I still don't believe it's that.
I will tell you I don't understand the signs behind it. But the way that it happened is it's it like shoots the water right up your knockcause you're spot to lay back and it shoots the water up nose to the back of your throat.
It's miserable.
Well, I can tell you I did this to him, and I do not think I could handle having someone do it to myself. He last half a seat for I thought he was gonna throw up.
I just turned away.
It was rough.
I I've always assumed to be like putting a rag on your face in the shower, and it's not that.
It's not that at all.
I thought that, okay, So like, yeah, if you could take a shower and let's say you have a washcloth and you put it over your face and then you look up at the shower head while it's running, is that not the same thing as being waterboarded.
It's it's not because the water has to run backwards, like up your face a little bit. Because when they do it, they laid you down. Flat, and I guess the way that like your nose is it kind of like you know, goes up backwards into your face, and so the water runs right up your nose, up your nostrils. I'm seriously, it's way worse than it looks like it was, because I didn't think it looked that bad even That's why I let them do it.
Well, I gotta say, I feel really powerful having influenced you guys to do that.
Well, So we actually had done it before you said that, and I heard it the other day and I was just telling him before you went live. I was telling him I like, he said that it wasn't that bad, and I knew that that wasn't true.
We were re listening to your podcast and then you came live, and we immediately started trying to tell over.
Like we have to we have to correct him.
With let him know how awful it truly is.
Okay, So you guys had you guys did this before I said it?
Uh, we did it like four years ago. It was in a hotel bathroom, okay.
And how did it go?
Then you were at the beach?
I really I didn't last like I said, it was like a half a second, and then I had to. I just turned my head away.
It was it was rough.
So I guess after four years you'd forgotten what it felt like and you decided to do it again.
No, no, no, no, no, We've only done it once. I remember clearly what it felt like. I'm not going to do it again.
Oh Okay, I'm getting confused by if I'm talking to the person that just doing the water boarding or who was waterboarding.
But I'm just talking to the person that was waterboarding.
Okay, Well, I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna probably get somebody to waterboard me at some point, because I really I don't believe either of you guys. I still think it's it's just fucking water.
Do it.
I'll do it, and I'll come back and I'll talk about it on here. I'll let you guys know if I if it was that bad, because it's just water, how bad can it be?
Well, Well, people drowning water, right, and this simulates drowning, and that's not a very enjoyable experience.
I don't get how people drown in water. That doesn't make a lot of.
Sense to me.
I love having a podcast can you just say whatever? That's what people do on these pat You ever listen to Joe rogany just says stuff and I'm like, oh, you can just I mean, you can just go on the internet say stuff. It's amazing, guys. Is there anything you want to say to the people of the computer before you go?
If you had the opportunity get waterboarded?
Okay, oh thank you guys. I appreciate you.
Have a good night, but thank you you too.
I mean, seriously, you can if you have a pot, you can just say stuff and people will be like, yeah, it's pretty wild. Joe Rogan will just be like, do you all monkeys? And I Joe go and be like I heard all that every monkey in the Amazon rainforest has have a tightest sea And people are like, oh, yeah, no, I heard that too.
Goes on the line every night every teaching you, but he's not really an expert.