BLACK MARKET VIAGRA

Hey, folks, it's Lyle. Before we get into the episode, I wanted to talk to you guys about a new thing I'm doing where you can help support my lizard endeavors by becoming a premium member of this podcast over at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Premium members, or gek Legends, as I call them, we'll be able to get every new and existing episode of Therapy Gecko completely

All from uh Sarah, Hello, Hello, Hi?

Who is this?

Uh? My name is Sarah.

What's up? Sarah?

Oh?

Okay?

Oh my gosh. Uh So I've been doing something pretty naughty at work that I shouldn't be doing And I don't know how such people on going because it's making me some money, but it's really illegal.

Do you do you want to talk about it on a podcast in front of one hundred people.

I'm not using my real name, and I don't think I know anyone that worked and watching the show, so I think I'm.

Okay, okay, sure, what's what? What's going on?

Well? I work at a hospital setting technically like in the pharmacy area. Uh, and you know, we throw away a lot of pills, so I sometimes.

Okay, I know exactly what you you You take the pills and then you sell them to people. Yeah, okay, mmm okay, Uh how long have you been doing this?

About a year?

Okay?

Uh?

What I mean? What kinds of people? Are you selling them to?

People who I don't see at all?

Like how do you how do you find these people that you sell them to?

Mm hmmm it's my boyfriend's coworkers, but they don't know it's me, okay.

And what you're getting them out of there? What you're getting them out of the garbage?

No, I mean they're like it's just so easy, you know what I mean, Like not that hard to take them.

So if that makes sense, sure, I mean I mean, well, where where are you taking them? After them from? What do you mean like like well, like you're not just taking pills off people's desks?

Oh no, no, no, no, no. People. So we have at the station where they order it, and then it gets to me. And then I saw the prescriptions and there's there's a shelves of all these meds and I don't get thrown away because they changed the NBC or you know, just a lot of little pharmacy technical stuff, and I mean it just closed into ways. So I just kind of sometimes, you know, I just kind of like in front of my pocket, you know what I mean?

Okay, al right, so you work well at a pharmacy or a hospital? He said, yeah, okay, what do you do there?

I saw people's prescriptions?

Okay? And did you go to college for like medical something or rather?

Yeah?

Okay? And what's your ultimate goal in life?

Oh?

I'm not sure. I don't really have one. Okay, I guess make a lot of money one day or more money?

I mean, what do you what do you care about?

My cat?

Okay? CA's how old you are?

Yeah?

I am turning twenty three.

Okay, have you told anyone else that you're doing this?

No?

Like like you like literally me and the people listening are the first people to know. Yeah, your boyfriend doesn't know. Nobody else knows.

My boyfriend knows because he's the one like supplying it.

Okay, And what this is like adderall and like xanax and ships.

Uh no, they're like like pp helpers.

You know.

Wait, you're you're stealing and you're you're you're selling black market viagra.

Uh yeah, but but like it's still like it's the genuine stuff, you know what I mean. It's well like sketchy, I'm not selling pensan al, you know what I mean.

Wait, so your boy so so a bunch of guys with small dicks come to your boyfriend and you're their viagra plug. Basically Okay, that makes this a lot funnier. Still illegal, but funnier.

I like I should stopp soon, just because you know, anytime I do it, I get like super nervous and I'm like, oh, I maybe they caught me this time, and it's kind of like a little game in my head. You know, I should probably stop.

Okay, Well, I'm make you money.

Well, even though it's funnier, it's still like, here's the thing you have you looked into what the consequences.

Are for doing I know what they are, and you're very.

Tell me what they are.

I could get in big trouble.

Tell me what kind of trouble.

Well, I could lose my job and I won't be able to work at like a pharmacy anymore.

Okay, would you go to jail?

I don't think so, Really, you can't.

I feel like this. I feel like this sounds like something you can go to jail for.

No. I think they'll just revoke your your centification or anything you had, and you won't be able to work in that sitting anymore.

I mean, I'm no lawyer, but this sounds one hundred like something you can go to jail for.

I I've seen a few cases and I don't think they go to jail. But maybe I guess if that's the worst of the worst.

All right, let's you know I want to do. Let's do something I'm gonna I'm gonna you and me right now. What's your name against Sarah?

Sarah?

Yeah, Sarah, Okay, Sarah. I want you to like I want you to imagine that you were caught doing this. Who these the fuck is in the background right now yelling at the teacher.

Sorry, he's my boyfriend's watching his friends, pretty league?

Can I talk to him real quick? Actually? Okay, I mean I don't have to. It doesn't want to talk talk to you?

Is that there? He could?

Yeah?

You think some of the fucking lease Hello, mister, See you're lucky. I'm not gonna rat you out.

Oh that's good. I don't even know what we're talking about.

You have an underground viagra operation.

You about the via, not about the viagrah is this is this guy? Trust?

Really?

Okay?

Got it?

Okay, So what you're what do you go? You know how you know how Walter Whitey has his Heisenberg? Do you have something like that? Like, uh, like you're the dick supplier, you're the boner man. I don't know what do you do? You have a secret drug dealer name.

It's weird because like I only deal with like older men, and they kind of think that stuff kind of like gay. You know, they don't really give me a little nickname.

What they think calling you the boner man is gay.

Yeah.

I tried making jokes like that to them, and they just fucking think I'm weird. So, you know, I just I just go with I'm like, all right.

So you what, so what do you? What do you do for a living?

Me?

I work on cards?

Okay? How long you have been doing the how long you've been doing the boner thing for?

Oh?

I haven't that long?

Like a year?

Like a year?

Yeah?

Are you just as worried as are you just as worried as Sarah is about getting caught?

No?

I'm cool.

Yeah, I tell you though. You know, I never I never pressured her out. It just happened one day when my coirkers were asking me, like, your girlfriend works at a pharmacy hunt, I'm like yeah, and they're like, can you get me by like my old coach?

Wait, here's my thing, by the way, here's my thing with all this? How fucking hard is it to get viagra? There's like commercials for it on TV? Why is it so difficult? Why is it so difficult for old men to get viagra that they need to, you know, talk to a bunch of twenty year olds about it.

I don't know, I've asked them the same thing. I'm assuming they'd have a limit and they just go over it.

So they're trying.

Okay, So they're trying to get like a super boner, which is like a medically not okay, Yeah.

Because how would you like? They sometimes have to pop like three viagras just to get anything going.

You know, if one of these guys Dix falls off, are you going to feel responsible?

I tell him every time, I'm super cautious. I'm like, look, dude, like I don't know what your conditions are, but like start off with like a half a.

Pill, you know, just to see how you feel.

How are you going to feel when you know your viagra dealing leads to a man growing a penis the size of a tree that falls down on his neighbor's house and kills his whole family. That's on your hands if that happens.

That's just something I gotta deal with.

Baby.

Listen, let me talk to your girlfriend.

Again, Yes, sir, I talking to you, mister.

Hello.

I do want you to imagine that you've been caught for this. Yeah, I want you to imagine you've been caught for this, and I want you to imagine that you are sentenced to uh five years in federal prison. Listen, I want you to imagine that you were sentenced to five years in federal prison. I know you had no idea, right like I want you to. I want you to actually, genuinely for a second pretend in your mind that you have just been sentenced to five years in federal prison. Can you do that for me?

You know the moments when like I do the thing and I get home and I think about it, and you know, knowing there's cameras just just just.

Out just right now, just right, just right now, imagine that you've been sentenced to five years of federal prison.

Okay, okay, okay, all right.

What do you wish you could do?

I what I wish?

Yeah, I guess if.

You guys say you would wish you didn't do it? Yeah, okay, And now back to the now. Now, now God has blessed you with this second chance to not go to federal prison. You okay, that's I will leave it at that.

Okay, I guess. Wait, so like if I haven't left over now, can I still saw that does not steal anymore? Or I got to throw those away?

I don't know, give him to a throw him in the forest. And then next time when you're walking around, you'll see a bunch of foxes with huge cocks and you can take pictures of them and put them on the internet.

Okay, yes, we'll pull them out.

Then.

Uh, what is your name again? Sarah?

Sarah?

Is there anything you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Have a good cereal meal with me, Have a good night.

Bye all from Will.

Hello, how are you hey? There's it going? This is Lyle.

This is Lyle. How are you, dude?

I'm good. I think I'm good. I'm good.

You sound you sound like that you're in a complex place.

Yeah. Yeah, To be honest, the last year of my life has been pretty crazy, man.

Okay, all right, do you do I talk about it on a podcast?

Maybe part of it?

All right, well, I got I got nothing else to do but hang out on the phone with you for however long I feel like doing that.

So what's up?

So? Yeah, basically, six months ago I was traveling in Europe and fell off an uber shooter and shattered my teeth, almost died and spent the night in the hospital and it was just absolutely life changing and I had to completely change or I guess take a break from my job and start uber ing and just everything kind of slipped his life upside down.

So an uber ride led to more uber rides.

Wow, that's a fucked up way to put it.

I thought about it like that.

I'm in an uber loop.

You're in an ober loop.

I gotta get out.

Okay. So you were in Europe and your face broke Yeah, because you were you're going too fast on the scooter and you hit something.

Oh yeah, I was way too fast and I was a way too drunk on the scooter. Don't don't. I don't use those scooters. People don't. Don't use them.

They scare me, dude, especially like I'll like get stoned with h my friends or whatever, or walking to a place and it's like, hey, we should take the scooter. I'm like, no, hell no, I don't want to do yeah in the with cars and I like walking. It's the cool thing about the cool thing about walking. You can get you can do any drug and walk around and you're fine. Like you can like you can't. You can get drunk, you can do PCP, you can get high, you and just walk and you're fine. You're not breaking

You know.

Oh yeah, I mean you can die, literally.

Yeah you can.

You can you can super die.

I hear that. Uh, running around doing math is fun.

There's probably a probably a I like in the Bell curve of what I am. I don't know anything about math in the Bell curve of what I imagine. Getting high on math is like it probably like the peak of it, running around high on meth that moment, not when consideration of the with the aftermath, both physical and whatever you did while you were high on the math, the just being in that moment, probably yeah, probably awesome, probably super sick.

Yeah, I think that might be. You know why so many meth heads run from cops because it's just like a fun game.

I do.

So many people in meth run away from cut Well, they probably run away from cops because they are under the impression that if the cops find them, they will send them to jail for uh something, and they don't want to do that, so they run away, or.

They just really don't want to lose the game.

All right, So you broke your face on an overscooter. What where in Europe was this? I was in Budapest, Okay, what were you doing there?

So I'm a musician. I was on a tour, so I was literally in in the city for like twelve hours and this happened.

Uh see see you're you're you're you were a touring musician doing a gig in Budapest and you thought that you couldn't.

Die exactly A.

Yeah, I've been, there's been.

This has been my past six months now has been realizing I can die.

Oh yeah, oh yeah. I don't know why I think that I can't. I don't know why. I think I'm like the main character or something. I don't know why. I'm in a car and I'm like, why have it's been? I've been alive for twenty five years so far. That's a good, a phenomenal track record of not dying. I'm just never gonna die.

No, yeah, you mean you could have died the first year totally year.

Yeah, No, I have no real I have no idea why I think I can't die. Okay, So you've been, you've been understanding that you and what are you doing with that new understanding how is that affecting you?

So basically I kind of took a step back from the whole music thing and this decided to just kind of stack cash on Uber as much as you can stack stack some cash on Uber, and I eventually booked a more long term job that I don't really want to disclose, also doing music, but it's just a little bit more professional and consistent. Has insurance, you know, as are.

You doing jingles for a vacuum company?

No, although that sounds sustainable mhm.

Okay, so you have a new job that does involve music and they will give you a dental benefits to fix your fucked up teeth.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, that's pretty that's pretty cool. That's pretty good.

Yeah, it feels more adult, Uh what I feel like drinking on tour and stuff. It's not that kind of the debaucher lower level.

Did you not feel like an adult when you were engaging in such debauchery and being on tour and doing all these things?

I guess I felt like uh manchild? Yeah, mhm.

Was any part of you breaking your face and having to change your life? Did anything good come out of it?

Yeah? I definitely realized the important people in my life because a few days after I got back from the States, I actually had some friends, like a falling out with some friends who uh you know, it ended up being better that they weren't in my life any longer.

Yeah. Yeah, that is the thing. Bad bad times tend to kind of show you who's the most important folks in your life.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I just have like a general appreciation for being alive. You know, you always talk about that on the podcast, but it's really important to wake up and be like, shit, I can breathe and take a shower and drink some coffee right now.

No, it's the bad I've thought it's the best. Uh. I felt like I do all these things to like try to make life better or whatever. Like you that's why you try to achieve shit. But I mean I don't know, like, yeah, the fact that you can just drink water is kind of sick. Yeah, I mean, it's like it's the best.

Thing most people, especially living in America, most people's basic needs are like pretty easily met. You know, this country kind of bis money, so like for the most part, people are can can be comfortable. And I think it's very like very beneficial to really kind of soak in as much gratitude as you can with whatever shitty job you got and you're broken, apartment ship and all that just gotta like kind of push through it.

I'm trying this new thing. If I'm hanging out with someone and I don't like them, I'm still I'm like, I'm still thinking in my head. I'm like, it's an honor to like be this is all. It's very spiritually whatever, bullshit thing. But I'm like, if I don't, if I'm with somebody i don't like them, I'm like, man, it's kind of just an honor to be with anyone.

Yeah. No, yeah, because sometimes you're alone and it sucks. Yeah, those moments in life where you just feel like, jeezs I wish there was just somebody that fucking bullshit with.

Do you make what kind of music do you make? To make metal music?

I do make metal music. The band I was playing with was a little bit more like a traditional kind of goth But I honestly make whatever music makes me the most money at the period of life I'm in because I doesn't do anything like fifteen years.

Now with this goth music does being on stage and having like fucked up teeth and scars and stuff. Doesn't that make you look cooler?

It was definitely an intense feeling, but thankfully none of my front teeth shattered. It was all like the back ones, so I can smile for the most part. Like I only had to have, you know, one replaced at this point in the front.

What's going on with the other folks in the band?

In the band right now?

Yeah?

Oh well, they're you know, obviously gotta find a different drummer while I'm I'm doing this other job because it's gonna keep me occupied traveling and stuff. So in about six months, we're gonna kind of touch base and see where everyone's at. And it's a kind of situation where they kind of replace members all the time. So I was a little bit of a feeling.

Does that make you sad?

Uh No, it's just kind of a business. You know. They're a lot older than me too, like by like twenty five years, you know, so there's an element of like mentorship a little bit, and it's good to keep your distance with some of that.

How old are you thirty damn? So they're like they're like fifty five.

Oh yeah, they've been doing it since the since the late seventies.

Are you, like, before this tour, had you had a long history of gigs that involved like music or was it always like half something not music half music.

No, I once I graduated, I went to music college. Once I graduated from music college, I spent like a year h still living in Boston and working in a kitchen, and then I just decided to move back to Tampa, where I'm from and kind of start teaching and playing gigs. And I was able to solely make music for a living for you know, eight or nine years up until six months ago, which you know, I'm just considering it a little break. I'm not quitting by any means.

Are you?

Are you bummed that you feel like you're gonnaet kicked out of this band?

No, I'm not really getting kicked out because I kind of.

Made the decision.

Uh, the the atmosphere was a little chaotic, and at this point in my life, I just need something that pays consistently and is a little calmer so I can reassess and see what I'm trying to move, you know, to to another city, maybe another country. So I'm just kind of in a a little bit of a I don't know what word.

To say, transitionary period.

Yeah, good, Yeah, that's that's perfect.

What what kind of are you going? You're going to go back to Budapest and become a construction worker and go to the asphalt where you fell and take a jackhammer and like destroy it so that you can kind of avenge your teeth.

You know, it's funny. The day after the accident, I went back with the tour manager who was with me, and we went to the spot just so I can kind of see it and take in like what happened. And I picked my teeth up off the ground.

Holy shit, wait, you picked your teeth up off the ground the day after.

The next day. Yeah, there's like a little little blood drops in my teeth, like right right on the sidewalk.

I'm so surprised that nobody because if I saw teeth on the look, if I saw teeth on the ground, I'd leave them there. But there's like probably some weird guy walking around Budapest like looking for teeth. I'm surprised that they were still there.

What are you saying it's that time country.

Well, I don't know anything about it, but because I don't know anything about it. That could be a thing happening there.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know anything. All I know is that they're hungry.

Get the fuck out of here, man, What you doing?

Yeah? So yeah, I guess that's about it. Man. Like I had to play another like twenty shows after that without any real like medical treatment. So it's pretty much the most intense period of my life that I.

Hope I have played twenty shows after that.

Yeah.

I couldn't even like like I was drinking soup and I couldn't talk for like four days.

Fuck man, Because look when you told me this, I thought to myself, Okay, if halfway because I'm going on a big, crazy tour, and I was like, okay, if like halfway through my tour, I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore. I'll just you know, get myself into a car accident and then I won't have to do anything.

Yeah.

Now, but I'm like, oh fuck I could do I'm sill gonna have to do the shows even if I do that.

Yeah, And you're gonna have to do them.

Without talking, all right, I can? I mean whatever. I just usually I don't talk that much on my show anyway, I just kind of stare and other.

People talk, so I can do that. Oh my god. Yeah, man, But you know, entertainer to entertainer, be careful when you're when you're in foreign places.

Bro, I'm gonna go ahead. Look, and you know this, I'm not gonna weak. There's you can't blame Budapest for this. Oh no, I definitely don't think I paid fact that you were in a foreign country at all.

Hey, I paid. Uh, I had like an initial dentist visit, and I paid twenty five dollars for them to take you know, some shreds and teeth out, and a twenty five dollars dentist visit does not exist in America.

Okay, So you being in a foreign country was helpful in this situation, because if you bust on the teeth in Texas, you'd be fucked.

Yeah, exactly. Like I didn't have to pay a huge The hospital bill was fifty bucks. You know.

You know when we first started this conversation, you seemed like super bummed, and I'm sure you are, but you seem more chill about it now.

Yeah. To be honest, I was just like a little nervous. I had like, I've just drank a beer and I only tried like two times before you picked up, So I was just a little bit surprised trying.

To sound you got you got that one beer confidence in you.

Yeah, it's time for two?

What's your name again?

Will?

Is there anything else do you want to say to the people of the computer before we go? Will?

Now? Just uh, peace and love and stay gecked up man?

Later baby? Oh yeah, you know what, maybe I'll have a beer later too, or I'll have two beers later. I'm not I'm not that much of an alcohol guy. I'm a big weed guy. Well that was just I don't know why I said any of those things just now. It felt pointless.

All right, all right, Paul from Thomas, Hello, Hello, how are you?

How am I?

Well?

Well, thanks for asking. I appreciate that. It was nice of you to ask me. That was a very polite thing that you did.

Just now.

I welcome, I'm okay, I'm all right. Where are you? What are you doing? What are you doing right now?

I'm just in my college dorm, just vibing, drawing.

What do you draw you?

What are you drawing?

I'm drawing for my thesis project. I'm I'm an art major.

What are you drawing?

I'm drawing backgrounds for an animated short I'm trying to.

Make Oh yeah, okay, what background are we drawing right now?

Old western town?

An old western town, like with a saloon and a general store and all that. Oh yeah, are there any horses or cowboys or cowgirls?

Or oh there's cowboys. I'm not doing horses.

Okay, what uh?

What do you look like?

Guinea Caucasian mail? I don't know.

Okay, what How big are your hands? I'm trying to imagine. I'm just trying to imagine you sitting where you're sitting, doing what you're doing.

I mean, I got pretty normal size hands. I got weird fingers. They can bend weirdly, like.

How weirdly they can? Can they bend backwards?

They?

Yeah, pretty far back?

Uh?

Are you drawing on paper or are you drawing on a digital?

Slight thing digital?

If somebody came into your dorm right now and took your tablet and your computer and slammed them on the ground and went that's what you get and then stormed out, how would you react to that situation? I mean, tiste, why.

Oh wait, sorry, what was the question again?

You Well, you said you'd be pissed. So you heard me, right?

I heard something. I heard that they took the tablet.

You said, yes, they they take the tablet, and they take your tablet, and they take your laptop and they throw it on the ground and they go that's what you get and they storm out. How would you feel?

I feel ill, feel hurt.

I know, I don't know why they're doing this.

Yeah, what if somebody uh no, no, you don't know them at all.

Yeah, I think I'd be a little more scared of anything because there's just this random person somehow got into my dorm and then got into my room.

Okay, what if or whoever you're imagining is the person that did the first thing? Okay, what if somebody what went into your dorm, patted you on the head and said, hey man, you're doing a great job, and then left. How would you feel?

Then?

I also would be scared, but at the same time, I feel kind of kind of happy that they did that.

Those are both scary situations for sure, for sure.

Yeah, either way, I'm gonna be scared and call the cops.

You would, So if somebody came into your room, patted you on the head and said you're doing a great job. You would you'd and then left. You'd call the cops on them.

Yeah, because in the moment, I'm going to be terrified he somehow got into my room and he's he's touching me. But then afterwards, after like the whole situation settles, the cops come and assume take him.

I'd be kind of like, you know what, that's pretty cool, huh, would say you feel But so when the cops came and they handcuffed him and took him away, you'd be like, I should have just let it go.

No, No, I still be happy they took him away, but at the same time happy I'm trying to make good add this weird situation. So it just kind of feels it kind of feels good that this person chose me have everyone in the world to pat me on the hand say I'm doing a good job, But the same time, I don't want in my room.

Would you visit him in prison?

No?

What if he wrote you a letter and said that he loves you and he misses you and he wants to see you.

I think the same thing again, I would be scared, but like when some time passed by, I'd be like, wow, I have everyone.

He loves me.

So this is a Western cartoon? What is it about?

Yeah, so it's just.

It's like it's like a classic, like a Cowboys showdown. It's my first time really trying to sit down animate. My school doesn't teach animation. I I go to Liberal Arts and uh, I'm an illustration major, and I thought this would be a I always wanted to go into animation. It's got my goal. So I mean, it's the pard time to try to test that and see what I

So you shouldn't have told me all this because now I'm going to steal that idea. Oh okay, do you know, uh you ever seen cars?

Yeah?

You ever thought about doing that.

Mhm, making cars.

What are your what are your favorite animations?

I think, uh, kind of just what everyone else likes, the Pixar movies. I'm I love anything that Genji Targanowski makes. He's the guy who made Samurai Jack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you ever seen Primal?

Oh? Yeah, I love Primal.

Prime is great. Primal is great. If Gendhi Tarkovsiki came into your room right now, took your tablet, took your computer, smashed them on the ground, and said that's what you get, and then walked out, what would you do?

So?

Yeah, that situation definitely is different because I know his faith, and honestly, I'd be hurt. I mean, I look up to the guy and he somehow found the powers to magically teleport into my dorm and just just to throw my stuff on the ground, and hey, that's what I get. I don't even know why I'm getting it. I honestly just be hurt.

Gendy Tarkowski comes into your dorm room, pats you on the head, says you're doing a great job, and leaves, what do you do?

Oh, I'd be so happy.

I would have the motivation to conquer the world.

Well, guess what the guy in the first scenario, the first time I brought this up, the one that you called the cops on, the one that wrote you a letter and said he loves you and misses you and wants you to see him. That guy was Gendi Tarkovski the whole time, but you didn't go to see him and you called the cops on him. How does that feel?

Well, now I feel terrible. I should go visit him.

You should feel terrible.

Oh damn, you know what.

You know what I'd I'd i'd just as much. I'd have the audacity right now to run into your had to run into your dorm room, grab your tablet, your laptop, smash him on the ground and go that's what you get?

What do we have something? Why are you being so mean?

Do you get?

Do you get grades in in animation school?

Like?

How does the thesis work? Do they grade you on it?

Yeah? They yeah, I do great on you. There's also a paper that goes with that that's like the main grade, but.

Just generally to see like.

To see how you kind of take on a big project. And we also have to install this in like in a gallery on campus.

Hello, folks.

I am currently traveling all over the planet doing live Therapy Gecko shows in venues all across the United States, Australia, Europe, and the United Kingdom. I have just added more shows to cities that were previously sold out, including Portland, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, and I will soon be doing the

See if folks out in the universe.

All from uh Sarah. Hello, Hello, Hi?

Who is this?

Uh?

My name is Sarah.

What's up? Sarah?

Okay? Oh my gosh.

Uh.

So I've been doing something pretty not y at work that I shouldn't be doing and I don't know how to keep on going because it's making me some money, but it's really illegal.

Do you do you want to talk about it? On a podcast in front of one hundred people.

I'm not using my real name, and I don't think I know anyone that worked. I watch the show.

I'm okay, okay, sure, what's what what's going on?

Well?

I work at a hospital setting technically like in the pharmacy area. Uh, and you know, we throw a lot of pills, so I sometimes, okay, I.

Know exactly what you you You take the pills and then you sell them to people. Yeah, okay, mmm okay, Uh how long have you been doing this?

About a year?

Okay?

Uh?

What I mean?

What kinds of people? Are you selling them to?

People who I don't see at all?

I like, how do you how do you find these people that you sell them to?

Mm hmmm it's my boyfriend's coworkers, but they don't know it's me, okay.

And what you're getting them out of there? What you're getting them out of the garbage?

No?

I mean they're like it's just so easy, you know what I mean, Like it's not that hard to take them, so if that makes sense?

Sure, I mean I mean, well, where where are you taking them after them from?

Oh?

What do you mean? Like?

Like, well, like you're not just taking pills off people's desks.

Oh no, no, no, no, no people. So we have at the station where they order it, and then it gets to me and then I feel the prescriptions and there's a there's a shell of all these mens and ill don't get thrown away because they change the NBC or you know, just a lot of little pharmacy technical stuff, and I mean it just closes into ways. So I just kind of sometimes, you know, it just kind of like, oh it fell in my pocket, you know what I mean?

Okay, all right, so you work well at a pharmacy, you're a hospital? He said, yeah, okay, what do you do there?

I saw people's prescriptions?

Okay? And did you go to college for like medical something or rather?

Yeah?

Okay? And what's your ultimate goal in life?

Uh?

I'm not sure. I don't really have one. Okay, I guess make a lot of money one day or more money?

I mean, what do you What do you care about?

My cat?

Okay? CA's how old you are?

Yeah?

I am turning twenty three.

Okay, have you told anyone else that you're doing this?

No?

Like like you like literally me and the people listening are the first people then know. Yeah, your boyfriend doesn't know. Nobody else knows.

My boyfriend knows because he's the one like supplying it.

Okay, and what this is like adderall and like xanax and ships.

Uh no, they're like like pp helpers. You know.

Wait, you're you're stealing and you're you're you're selling black market viagra.

Uh yeah, but but like it's still like it's the genuine stuff, you know what I mean, it's well like sketchy, I'm not selling offensan all, you know what I mean.

Wait, so your boy so so a bunch of guys with small dicks come to your boyfriend and you're their viagraa plug basically Okay, that makes this a lot funnier. Still illegal, but funnier.

Like I should stop soon just because you know, anytime I do it, I get like super nervous and I'm like, oh and maybe they caught me this time, and it's kind of like a little game in my head. You know, I should probably stop.

Okay, Well, make money.

Well, even though it's funnier, it's still like here's the thing you have you looked into what the consequences are for doing I know what they are, and tell me what they are.

I could get.

In big trouble.

Tell me what kind of trouble.

Well, I could lose my job and I won't be able to work at like a pharmacy anymore.

Okay, would you go to jail?

I don't think so, Really you can.

I feel like this, I feel like this sounds like something you can go to jail for.

No.

I think they'll just revoke your your certification or anything you had, and you won't be able to work in that sitting anymore.

I mean, I'm no lawyer, but this sounds one hundred percent like something you can.

Go to jail for.

I've seen a few cases and I don't think they go to jail. But maybe I guess if that's the worst of the worst.

All right, let's you know I want to do. Let's do something I'm gonna I'm gonna you and me right now. What's your name against Sarah?

Sarah?

Yeah?

Sarah? Okay, Sarah. I want you to, like, I want you to imagine that you were caught doing this. Who is these the fuck is in the background right now yelling at the teacher.

Oh sorry, he's my boyfriend's watching his friend's play league.

Can I talk to him?

Real?

Quick.

Actually okay, I mean I don't have to it doesn't want to talk to you.

Is that there?

If you think some of the police, Hello mister, you see you're lucky. I'm not gonna rat you out.

Oh that's good.

I don't even know what we're talking about.

You have an underground viagra operation.

About the.

Not about the viagra?

Is this is this guy? Trust for the way? Okay?

Got it?

Okay? So what you're.

What do you go?

You know how you know how Walter Whitey has his Heisenberg? Do you have something like that? Like, uh, like you're the the dick supplier, You're the boner man. I don't know what do you do? You have a secret drug dealer name?

It's weird because like I only deal with like older men, and they kind of think that stuff kind of like gay. You know, they don't really give me a little nickname.

What they think calling you the boner Man is gay.

Yeah.

I've tried making jokes like that to them and they just fucking think I'm weird.

So you know, I just I just go with I'm like, all right, so you what?

So what do you what do you do for a living?

Me?

I work on cards, Okay, how long you have been doing the how long you've been doing the boner thing for?

Oh?

I haven't that long?

Like a year? Like a year? Yeah?

Are you just as worried as Are you just as worried as Sarah is about getting caught?

No, I'm cool.

Yeah, I tell her though, you know, I never I never pressured her. It just happened one day when my coirkers were asking me, like, your girlfriend works at a pharmacy hun like yeah, and they're like, can you get me via like my old.

Coach, Wait, here's my thing.

By the way, here's my thing with all this? How fucking hard is it to get viagra? There's like commercials for on TV? Why is it so difficult? Why is it so difficult for old men to get viagra that they need to, you know, talk to a bunch of twenty year olds about it.

I don't know. I've asked them the same thing. I'm assuming they'd have a limit, and they just go over it's okay.

So they're trying. Okay, So they're trying to get like a super boner, which is like a medically not okay.

Yeah, because how would you like?

They sometimes have to pop like three viagras just to get anything going.

You know, if one of these guys Dix falls off, are you going to feel responsible?

I tell them every time, I'm super caucious. I'm like, look, dude, like I don't know what your conditions are, but like start off with like a half a pill, you.

Know, just to see how you How are you gonna feel when you know your viagara dealing leads to a man growing a penis the size of a tree that falls down on his neighbor's house and kills his whole family. That's on your hands if.

That happens, that's just something I got to deal with. Baby.

Listen, let me talk to your girlfriend again, Yes, sir, talking to you, mister.

Hello.

I don't want you to imagine that you've been caught for this. Yeah, I want you to imagine you've been caught for this, and I want you to imagine that you are sentenced to five years in federal prison. Listen, I want you to imagine that you were sentenced to five years in federal prison. I know you had no idea, right like, I want you to actually, genuinely, for a second, pretend in your mind that you have just been sentenced to five years in federal prison? Can you do that for right?

You know the moments when like I do the thing and I get home and I think about it, and you know, knowing there's cameras just.

Just just out, just right now, just right, just right now. Imagine that you've been sentenced to five years of federal prison.

Okay, okay, okay, all right, what do you wish you could do?

I would I wish?

Yeah, I guess what did you guys.

Say you would wish you didn't do it?

Yeah?

Okay, and now back to the now. Now, now God has blessed you with this second chance to not go to federal prison. Okay, that's I will leave it at that.

Okay, I guess Wait, so like if I haven't left over now, can I still saw that? Does not still anymore? I got to throw those.

Away, I don't know, give them to a throw them in the forest, and then next time when you're walking around, you'll see a bunch of foxes with huge cocks and you can take pictures of them and put them on the internet.

Okay, yes, we'll throw them out.

Then, Uh, what is your name again? Sarah? Sarah? Is there anything you want to say to the people of the computer before we go, have.

A good cereal meal with me, Have a good night bye.

Pull from will.

Hello, how are you hey? There's it going? This is Lyle.

This is Lyle.

How are you, dude? I'm good. I think I'm good. I'm good.

You sound you sound like that you're in a complex place.

Yeah, yeah, to be honest with, the last year of my life has been pretty crazy, man.

Okay, all right, do you do I talk about it on a podcast?

Maybe part of it?

All right, well, I got I got nothing else to do but hang out on the phone with you for however long I feel like doing that.

So what's up?

So Yeah, basically, six months ago, I was traveling in Europe and sell off an uber shoot and shattered my teeth, almost died and spent the night in the hospital and it was just absolutely life changing and I had to completely change or I guess take a break from my job and start ubering, and just everything kind of flipped its life upside down.

So an uber ride led to more uber rides.

Wow, that's a fucked up way to put it. I'm gonna lose thought about it like that. I'm in an uber loop.

You're in an overloop.

I gotta get out.

Uh Okay, So you were in Europe and your face broke, Yeah, because you where you're going too fast on the scooter and you hit something.

Oh yeah, I was going way too fast and I was way too drunk on the scooter. Don't don't. I don't use those scooters. People don't. Don't use them.

They scare me, dude, especially like I'll like get stoned with my friends or whatever. We're walking to a place and it's like, hey, we should take the scooter. I'm like, no, hell no, I don't want to do it in the with cars and I like walking. It's the cool thing about the cool thing about walking. You can get you can do any drug and walk around and you're fine. Like you can like you can't. You can get drunk, you can do PCP, you can get high, you and

You know.

Oh yeah, I mean you can die literally.

Yeah you can.

You can.

You can super die.

I hear that. Ah, running around doing math is fun.

There's probably a probably a I like in the Bell curve of what I am. I don't know anything about math, in the Bell curve of what I imagine getting high on math is like it probably like the peak of it, running around high on math that moment, not when consideration of the with the aftermath, both physical and whatever you did while you were high on the math, the just being in that moments, probably yeah, probably awesome, Probably super sick.

Yeah, I think that might be. You know why so many meth heads run from cops because it's just like a fun game.

Why do so many people on meth run away from cut Well, they probably run away from cops because they are under the impression that if the cops find them, they will send them to jail for something, and they don't want to do that, so they run away.

Yeah, or they just really don't want to lose the game.

All right.

So you broke your face on an overscooter? What where in Europe was this?

I was in Budapest?

Okay, what were you doing there? So?

I'm a musician. I was on a tour, so I was literally in the city for like twelve hours and this happened.

Uh see see you're you're, you're, you're a touring musician doing a gig in Budapest and you thought that, uh you couldn't die exactly. Yeah, I've been there.

I mean, this has been this has been my past six months now has been realized