A GECK IN TIME

Hello, Lyle is this are you Simba?

I'm good. Sorry, I watch a lot of Disney. I have a one year old.

So you have a one year old? Do you Are you enjoying being a father?

Yeah, she's the light in my life. And uh, yeah, it's tough though, having a one year old girl. But trying to set a good example for her.

Mm hmm. And what do you what sorts of things do you do to set a good example for her?

Uh, trying to be a good parent, trying to be there for when she needs me, and trying to, you know, just shield her from the harsh realities of this world.

Sorry, why is why do you feel as though the reality of the world is so harsh?

Well, there's a lot. I feel like there's a lot of good to be found in this world. And her mother does a really good job too. And ah, I just feel like it's kind of a tough time right now. She was a COVID baby, so it's it's funny you just never really realize those things until you become a father.

M And has she been been have you been changing her diapers a lot? Has she ever shat on your face or anything like that?

Oh?

Yeah, she sits all over the place and she shits on my hand and but that's okay, but nah, And I think her mother wants to have one more too, so wish me luck.

Oh so you want to have another? Well, it says here that you believe that your wife is getting bored of you. Yeah, definitely, is that something she told you?

Yeah, like right to my face. And it's funny because like she'll like say to me that, like she needs someone with big dick energy. And I was like, huh at first, I thought that was kind of hurtful, but you know, I kind of see what she means, Like she wants someone who's confident and relaxed, and that's kind of like the opposite of what I am. And if I don't do something soon, she's probably gonna try and go and find a boyfriend or some shit. I don't know.

Really, Yeah, it's a lot.

So she told you that that she is looking for somebody with big dick energy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I feel like, yeah, we kind of get on the wrong but sometimes, but she's like a she's a witch too, she's a brew ha and she like I see her like casting spells and ships. So I take what she says very seriously.

M hmm. Do you believe that she has cast a spell upon you?

Oh?

Yeah, for sure, definitely. She wants me to just really kind of grow a pair and get my fire and my drive back because it's really low right now and hers is like really high. And yeah, I just feel like she's getting kind of bored with me, you know.

So what kind of spell do you believe she has cast upon you?

You know, it's funny. I actually think they're good stulls. Like she brings me a lot of luck too, and she gives me a lot of good energy, which is why I'm I'm worried, you know, will make her unhappy. So and she does want me to kind of go to therapy too, but I guess that's another story.

So she's told you that she is bored of you. But how do you feel about her?

Oh? I think she's the best thing to ever happened to me. I feel like, you know, I was really lucky to find her, and I feel like she's helped me realize a lot of things too, Like there are a lot of things that are wrong with me, But I feel like I don't maybe do the same for her. If you know what I mean.

What does she helped you realize is wrong with you?

Well, she kind of made me like take a look at like the way I act, you know, And she also made me realize that maybe my relationship with my mom isn't really the healthiest as well. But it's been it's been kind of nice because I've never really I didn't really realize that until I was older, and like I'm twenty eight and I'm almost thirty, so it's kind of weird, like having to kind of realize realize those things played in life.

You know.

So you like her because well you you said you think she's the best thing that's ever happened to you, And you were saying that because she's helped you realize certain things that are that are amiss with you. I mean, what else do you find redeeming and attractive and you know, anything else about this person that you feel makes them a positive thing to have in your life.

Well, she's really good at kids. That's the first thing. Like I didn't know anything about having kids, and so she's been able to kind of show me how to set a good example for her daughter. And she's also then she's a really good friend to kind of bounce things off of. And she helps me like find a stable job too. I was having trouble finding work there. She's kind of been coaching me a little bit.

And how how did it feel when she told you what she told you?

It felt really good. I was really lucky to to find her, but it made me realize that I still have a long way to go, you know.

So that's well, Well, when when she when she you know, I mean, when she when she told you that she's looking for someone with big dig energy and that if you don't.

Leave you feel.

Where how did that make you feel?

Well?

I just feel it didn't make me feel good. I feel like, yeah, I feel like she wants someone who has like some swag maybe and kind I'm kind of pooring, you know, like I'm kind of quiet, and I feel like and she's kind of looking for someone who can, uh kind of command a room a little bit, you know. So it didn't make me feel goo good. But hopefully since we're married, I can kind of turn that around a little bit.

M What do you want from her? Do you want her to change anything about herself?

That's a good question. I feel like maybe she could just have a little more patience with me. You know, I know that I suffer from some social anxiety a little bit, and I have for a while. So I feel like, yeah, it's just I want her to show me a little patience and I think we can get there.

Have you told her that.

I'm sorry you kind of cut out there?

Have you told her that?

Oh?

Yeah, for sure, many times?

And does she does she seem she said, does she seem like she's she's internalized and made a further effort toward being more patient with you?

Yeah, because I feel like, you know, she likes to kind of be romanced a little bit, and I'm not very good at romancing.

You know.

She likes to kind of be just reminded that she's loved, and she likes to kind of be taken out on dates and stuff like that. So but it's hard because you know, you come home, you work all day and.

Yeah, okay, here's what I do want to say to you, Simba. Here's what I want to say to you, Simba. Simba. I think I think if you're trying to build a family here, if you're trying to build a life, a long lasting relationship with kids and all that, I think you should be married to someone who loves you for who you are, who believes that you are enough, but also it's continuously encouraging you, challenging you to be better in ways in which you yourself also desire to be better.

No, it's so good. I like that. I like that a lot, and I can't wait to tell her. She's going to be so excited. I got on the show. But uh, I kind of like that.

I like that.

There's a balance, you know, and I really agree that it takes It's a two way street and it will take effort on both our parts. So I really like that.

Anything else you want to say before we go, Simba?

No, thank you so much. By chat Bye bye Lyle.

Goodbye, Simba.

Thanks by.

Simba. Simba, Simba, sim Simba. I don't know. I don't have a wife, I don't have a children. I'm not in love. I don't know if I'll ever be in love. I don't know if anything qualifies me to tell Simba anything. You know, I'm just an old chunk of coal, just an old green, crackly leaf, you know. Hello, doctor Gex, Hello, how are you?

I'm good, sir, I'm go because I got this problem. I've ran off, you know, I ran off about eleven miles. I've gotta I gotta rip some the band aid up until that, I'm not coming back and I need your help. How do igue?

Okay? So you said you've ran away?

Yeah?

Where did you run away?

From the mountains of Idaho?

You ran away to Idaho? Or from Idaho.

From Yeah, you ran cold.

The mountains of Idaho? Because it sounds very cold. Where did you run away to.

San Diego? Works worn?

That sounds like a a well informed decision. What what was the impetus of that decision? Why did you Why did you run away? Was it just the weather?

Well, I'm allergic to the cold. Eh, I'm better gets as well, but I actually am. And it's called cold d gardia and it's just not I don't do well in cold.

Mhm mhm. And so from what you've said, you you left someone there? You left uh a woman who is important to you in Idaho?

Is that?

Is that what I'm hearing?

I freaking did that, and I'm not really duck. I'm not proud of it and I'm not happy about it, but I did it, you know.

H.

Yeah, did you have any conversation with her before you left her? Did you just completely leave and then not tell her?

No?

I I she saw me taking some bags and stuff when I said, I'm going to hire one of your friends to take me to the airport. You think that would be okay? I said that, and then I did it, and then I flew away.

Hmm.

And why was it so hard to leave this person behind?

She's really Jesus sweet old gal. You know, I'm old some bitch, and so she and so like we've been around the block and she's pretty pretty, nice little girl and stuff. But yeah, I have the mind of a twenty year old and I need those twenty year old things. And no, the older girl, they just may not be able to satisfy a fellaw like that, you know what I mean?

How long have you and uh and the girl, the girl that you left behind? How long had you and her been together?

Well?

I started kicking around with her and stuck for about ten years, and then then we became kind of intimate for several years, and and then I lived with her for several months last fall and winter and ran off. I don't like to.

Well, well, well, so tell so okay, So then tell me this, how come she didn't come with you?

You know, she she has family and friends and the stuff. You know, a lot of that kind of thing going on. I don't. Well, I have family, and but I could give a funk about it, you know, I just go where I go.

M h yeah.

So, in in sort of examining, like what's important to you in the context of of of this decision, would you say that? And it's okay if if, if, this is the answer, because I think it's good to know what you value is friends and family and relationships with other people. Is that important to you?

You know, I'd rather just sunbathe on a rock out in the middle of the desert and hang out with any of them. I've been that way. Most of my wife has been that way, you know. I'm prospector. So I would dig holes in the ground and sometimes I would dig for hundreds of yards, and I enjoyed being way way down there, you know, and all by my fault, all you could hear was your heart beat.

Do you mind if I ask you how old you are?

I'm seventy fus a little more than seventy eight.

And you say that you really enjoy being alone? Has it been like that for your entire life.

Yeah. Yeah, I would disappear into the mountain and I wouldn't come out for a long time. Eh. What was I was married once? The time I was married, scalous, I was married to the schalty's secretary, you know, in a college, and she wanted me to become something, you know, other than a bomb, and a prospector to her was a bomb, you know. And so I went to school and I could. I quit a semester before I graduated

What is What is home is where it's home for you?

Oh man, I must have been a nomad in my past life, right, mm hmm. So I'm I'm no mad. I'm not very domesticated Yeah, that's not good, you know, and I'm not civilized either.

Mostly well, hold on, stop, can't stop you for just a second. You said that, you're saying that's not that good, and that leads into what I was going to ask you, is so you're saying that you've been nomadic for most of your life. You've been very comfortable and actively pursued lots of time alone. And and I'm curious, if anything at all, have there been many cons to this lifestyle or many times in which you reconsidered your position of

I've lost a few friends over it. Because if if you were a friend of mine and you just came up on me all of a sudden, like you know, knocked on my door, I'll be all set. You needed to let me know you were going to come there and visit. Otherwise on my just pulled a gun off, show up and back you the hell out of the door and tell you never to come back again, you know. And that's the way I was. And I'm having a hard time with that now. I'm don diego. You people

People are people are knocking on your door all the time in San Diego? Why are they knocking on your door?

Oh, there's delivery.

You know.

I don't go out to the store as much, so I have things delivered and they knock, knock, blah blah and they walk away.

Right.

Yeah, yeah, I never had it. I never allowed people to come knocking on my door. I had two gates and they're both locked, and there was lots of signs saying scary shit.

You know.

Now, I have another question for you that I I have another question for you. Do you because I feel like there's a difference between these two and I'm curious what it is for you. Do you just enjoy being alone or do you actively not like other people.

Like totally be comfortable with me. I just you know, I don't totally like or dislike other people because sometimes I'm the walfar. I'm like blah blah blah blah blah, you know and stuff. However, when I'm doing blah blah, boy, I need to be by myself and you guys need to fuck out of here. Yeah. So there's some people now that are comfortable being a one and I know. I Yeah, I'm doing many a woman's life. You know, I've been married four times and and I have numerous

M How long after being in a relationship will you typically start to feel like you're tired of it and you need to be alone?

Well, I'm not to scale on the internet today and it lasted about three four hours and I'm started after that and lads go, you know this is not gonna work out?

Okay, bye?

So after four marriages and all these girlfriends, all these people meeting online, what keeps you going back? Because after because after four marriage because on the fourth marriage, right, you have to be like, all right, didn't work out the previous three times, but let's try again. What made you? What made you want to try again?

Ah? Dude, it's the sense of a woman, right. How could you not? How can you not? I'm sorry? Turned me out?

H H.

Do you have friends? Just people like friends?

You know?

I have a couple, but rarely do I speak to them. M fairly a couple of times a year. Maybe because one of my good friends once a year on his birthday.

Do you see one of your good friends once a year on his birthday?

You know, I just talked to him on the phone.

So when you're alone, what do you do to pass the time? What are what are some activities that you find yourself doing day to day.

I do a lot of exercises to the old part, and I want to stay in shape and so and I read. I read like a million pages a year. You know, people that can read, they can do whatever they all they want, you know, because they got all the all the words in their heads. So a lot of reading. I'd probably read three four books a week, and they can be of anything. I'm thinking about reading books on how to be a doctor and the lawyer, and you don't even learn how to be a therapist.

Why do you think it would be a bad therapist?

Because I give them bad advice? You know, they are fight, fight or flight. I'm always on the flight end of it, and so I hit out. You know that's not good all the time. You can't just like you can't just pull up your stakes and run off the whole time. But here's that's the way I'm doing to me until the day I doe. So that's me.

So is that is that the way you feel about yourself and about your life is that continually you're You're like you're running away.

Or I'm just totally impulsive. Right, but give an impulse and I just take it, and I'm like, I'll go buy a ticket and fly away. Right, I've done that to I here. So yeah, and it gets expensive, you know for old people to go buy tickets and things and fly away, yeah, or fly back? Okay, I haven't. Yeah, that's that's even harder like that.

So in in in seventy years, do you have anything that you regret?

I not, No, no freaking way, I don't regret nothing. I've got four children, I've got eight grandchildren, and I just love everythreaking one of them. But I just want them to see how it went from me.

So you have you didn't even mention that you didn't mention that you had h you had children and grandchildren.

I know I can't tell you everything. It's a little short thing here, but all I mean I could do balling you. I've been a prospector. I've dug four hundred and ten yards a tonnel underground by hand with the sledge hammer, a pig bar and a wheelbarrow, you know, and a candle light. I've done a lot of the things that the old timers did. I'm old timer too.

Do you ever do you ever see your children and grandchildren?

I cut thousands? What's that did?

Do you ever see your children and grandchildren?

Mm hmmm? You know on messenger and stuff? Mm hmm.

Yeah, you're pretty tech savvy, super considering. Uh, how you you're you're talking about doing all of being an old timer?

Yeah, man, I went to I've been to college a couple of times, and I could have been a distinguished honor student if I just stayed there other semester. I've got this the knowledge, you know, educated gold for however, I don't know education helps you to be more social and not probably not m hm.

M hm.

I'm a hard case house dick.

So do you have any any advice for anyone out there listening to this of anything that you have have learned in your time of solitude and introspection?

My dolly ideas, Jack, I got. I've got advice for the young folks out there. Please don't don't get a job and work yourself hard to hurt yourself, you know, don't hurt your back working for somebody. Just if you have to just be a bomb, you know, because you'll be okay. You make enough word me to feed yourself, you'll be okay. You won't hurt yourself, and you'll laugh longer. And then if you gotta get married, don't have children

Did you have a hard time raising your kids? What did you have a hard time raising your kids?

No? I believe with my youngest daughter. And she's an intelligent, freaking person, I know. And wow, Yeah, she's an artist and she's you know, she's on top of her you know, she's only twenty one and she makes several hundred dollars a day, way more than I ever did it. Hurry, I guess for sure. Yeah, successful young woman. She's married to a pirate. She's nice too. Yeah, he's an actual pirate.

She's married to an actual Where did she where does she meet an actual pirate?

You not Eyman wine right, and she told me that she would never ever get married, and by god, she's married again, you know, somewhere off over in Washington, somewhere he was he's stationed there as a pirate and until like, yeah, I don't think they get along just fine.

Well, Teelor, you said your name.

Was Killer, like a boat tiller or a road to Killer, something like, you know, like that, that kind of killer Tiller.

Any any final thoughts, feelings, sentiments that you wish to share before we go.

I think your show is really cool, doctor Gak, and I'll continue.

Thank you very much to welcome in.

You have good evening you as well.

Shout out to Tiller. Very interesting, very interesting perspective, Uh from Tiller. There's a lot of unpack out of that. The idea of there's an idea that I think about over time, where like you know, society tells us that, I mean, what is the thesis of every Disney movie, of a lot of things, is that the most important thing in life is friends and family? But what if it's not. What about Tiller? He seems like he's having a great time. I don't know if he's having a

Yes, this is what's up with?

Do not a whole lot? Is there anything in particular that you want to talk about today?

I have a couple of things, A couple of things here, Okay, tell me Number one. I just found out that we have a marijuana farmer's market where I live. Okay, that's kind of exciting. I'm new to the world of marijuana, so I'm like, I'm kind of stoked about it a little bit.

Daniel, you had a particular thing that you told the call screener that you wanted to talk about and I can tell that you are sort of skirting around it. Why are you doing that?

It's it's kind of the I don't know, it's it's a little a little nervous thing. It's a little it's a little bit of a anxiety to talk about it. I don't know.

I don't.

I don't usually open up to the random geck of the internet.

Mm hm m hm hm.

Well, Daniel, it says here that you have a crush on one of your co workers.

That is true, This is true. She's she's very I don't know, she's she's nice, she's she lasts in my jokes, which I think is is pretty stellar. She appreciates my meat both puns after after the singer died our ip.

And she's pretty cool.

Mm hmm. So are you are you going to make any attempt to to get to know her about her, to talk to her about things, to go on a date with her, to somehow action upon your crush.

So yes, actually, but she just broke up with her boyfriend, so I'm trying to give it a little bit of time so that she can heal. But I did invite her to go to the farmer's market with me, to check out all the weeds.

Okay, all right, so this so everything does ultimately come back to each other. This there there there was in fact an element to you bringing up this farmer's market. You've invited her to the farmer's markets to to go buy weed. And how did she respond to that?

She just said it was interesting. It's it's over the weekend, so she's she's given them some talking to think about it. But she has been bringing up how she wants to hang out with friends outside of works more and she wants to really she invited me to go at her New Year's party. Yeah, so I'm thinking there could be something, but I don't want to you know, push my luck and you know, review all my cards and then have it all cave in on me.

You know, why are you so adverse to I mean, even in this phone call, you seem uh not, not even in this phone call, or or or in your interactions with your friends or with with people you're romantically interested in, you seem to not want to show all of your cards just in general.

I guess so, I'm I'm just kind of a reserved person. I feel like if I put everything out in the open, somehow it could come back to invite me. I like to have a little bit of a mystery too that way, like I'm more intriguing.

Mmmmmmm okay, And and does your does I are not to show all of your cards? Is it come from a fear of showing your cards? Or is this an intentional ploy to see in a certain way, Because to be honest, I don't like.

Either of both.

Yeah I.

Could.

I feel like, why do you desire to to appear more mysterious?

I think it just adds that much more interest for others, Like like you know, people when they watch a show doing the show off on a cliffhanger for some episodes and you think, oh my god, what's going to happen next? And it leaves you like wondering it's so interested and stay invested. I feel like if I show some sort

Totally, totally, totally, totally, I totally hear what you're saying, Daniel. You know, man, I'm gonna tell you. I know, I just went on a hold shpiel about how don't want

I think that's a very well put and very well founded, because there are times when I'm talking with her, like I'll bring up things about myself, like you know, a playlist I made for my funeral, and like the things that just that are more about me and less like you know, act like made up or left to you know, kind of persuade her, like you said, but like when I have those types of conversations, it just feels more genuine and more authentic, and it's just a lot easier

To that for sure, Daniel. I wish you good luck. And again, as I said, I'm not an expert of these things. I'm trying to do them alongside uh you, So you know, I hope that I hope that that helped inform something.

It really did.

It kind of opened up my eyes a little bit.

So thank you, appreciate it, Thank you for calling Daniel.

Thank you enjoying it.

Oh fae, I cut him off before he said to enjoy the rest of my day. Now my day is gonna suck. I seriously do that. I fucking made up. I made a promise to myself. I made a promise to myself and maybe you guys will join me. But every if I've ever if I'm crafting a text back for more than five minutes or something I've been doing, I've been doing this lately. I'll catch myself if I'm trying to craft the perfect text or email or whatever it is, and I'll go with the fuck am I

I'm doing well?

How are you?

I'm doing I'm doing good. It says here that you are a therapist and you would like to talk about the difference between what I do and actual therapy, and I would love to have this conversation.

Yeah, I'd love to have a conversation. I was telling the screener guy that I was super stoked to even get to that point because I tried calling many times and have never been able to get through. And then yeah, I was just I'm a big fan. I follow you on the ground, follow you on stream.

It's really cool.

Thank you, thank you. I'm excited to have this conversation. This is going to sound out of context when I put it into a podcast. But we did just have a caller call in saying that they were hanging on a thread, and I had to decline that call because it felt a little bit too too intense for me, and I felt as though I felt as though it's it would be responsible to take a call like that, even though you know, I do hope that person gets help. What do you think about that, Tiffany, Yeah.

No, I was actually watching that, and I was like, huh, and I felt very nervous for you and that conversation. I think you handled it great.

So tell me. You said the differences between what I do and actual therapy, I I I, you know, I'd love to hear your thoughts on all this.

Well.

I mean, I I've I view what you do as as entertainment, but with you know, very genuine flair. I you know, obviously this is unscripted. You don't know who's going to be giving you a call and uh, and so you know, I think you bring yourself and and your reactions, your genuine reactions into that dynamic, and oftentimes it's very funny, that's super hilarious, hence the entertainment value. But I really appreciate your your kind of authenticity in

Does that what ever come to you and you feel as though you cannot help them?

Oh?

Absolutely.

Anytime I get into territory where I feel like, you know, it's out of my expertise, I I really try to understand my limitations and be very transparent out them. I think that's part of my my realness and genuineness in in my treatment is you know, heye, you're telling me about these things and it is really not in my scope of expertise. So you know, I do recommend UH treatment in X Y or Z area, but that happens frequently.

Mm hmm hmm, do you think do you do? You do you have a optimistic viewpoint that everyone can be helped or have you ever met someone or had a client come in and be like, there is no hope for this person.

I generally have an optimistic perspective that's largely based in my therapeutic training and my involvement in research. I have a lot of hope for treatment outcomes and treatment development. And I've worked and you know, really severe populations, and I've seen progress and recovery. So I I do, you know, And if I didn't have a sense of hope, I

Part of who I treat that I.

Have zero kind of hope in even some improvement in their conditions.

Ms burnt out by m hm doing all of this work. What do you do when you get burnt out to revive yourself?

Oh, I take vacations. I have a really supportive partner. I just I really try to kind of distance myself and get myself out out away from work. I like to treat myself. You know, doesn't hurt to buy a nice pair of shoes, doesn't hurt to you know, go out to a nice dinner. It doesn't mean, yeah, I'm saying, like treat yourself. I like just shopping. I like cooking. There's a lot of things I like doing, and those are all. You know, there's forms of self care that

Dog, What do you when? What are you doing when you find what are you doing when you find yourself indulging?

Oh? Oh, like like the fancy dinners. You know, like fancy dinners or I, you know, treat myself as something extra expensive. And yet it's hard because it's a therapist. You don't make all that much money. You don't go into the profession for the big.

Dollars, but.

You know, I do enjoy just at least feeling like I'm treating myself. You know, I'm a.

Big dirict shopper.

I like feels, and so you know, if I like go to you know, TJ Max or Nordstrom rack and find something that was would otherwise be hundreds of dollars that I've scored for like twenty that's like one of the most fun things for me to do. Hm.

Hmm. Okay, so you're a real therapist. You burn out sometimes, but you go to the olive garden and fun shape.

Hmm.

What other questions do I have for you as a as a real therapist? What I'm doing illegal?

I don't think so. But also I'm not a lawyer, so you know, I couldn't give you that specific answer. I don't think. I think you're very clear about what you do.

Yeah, I mean I'm not a real Uh couldn't imagine being a real therapist. That sounds that sounds tough. It is.

It's it's not an easy job. But I think the training to go into a therapist helps me to feel well equipped to do what I do.

Yeah, I mean I hate being a fake one sometimes, you.

Know, but to be honest, things like this, watching your feed and following you is something I do.

For self care.

I really enjoy what you do and it brings like, you know, happiness into my day. And I've I've shared your content with my other therapist friends and we all get a you know, good laugh out of out of what you do and it's really nice.

Well, damn, thank you very much, Tiffany. I appreciate all the kind words. And hmm, is there is there a before we go? I is there anything in particular else that you want to say before before we depart and never see each other again.

Well, you know, something I told the screener guy was, you know, I'm calling the what I do with the therapist, and you know, what you do is not always super funny like this most recent call. It can feel kind of scary. And I can't, I mean, I can't imagine all your calls to be as like, you know, funny and joyful. So I just wanted to know how you handle things, and you know how how what some of the things you do for a self care and you know, take care of take care of your own mental health.

That's a good question. I was talking about this before, but on Monday's stream I was falling apart by the end of it. Uh uh. Today's stream, though it was great. I don't know. It's hard because it really feels like I'm rolling the dice every time I get on here where. Sometimes I feel really great about things and I'm like, oh, this is a good thing to be doing. And sometimes I'm like, what the hell have I gone and got myself into by being a fake gecko guy thing on

Yeah?

I mean I think you have. You have a conundrum on your hands. I mean, I I was thinking you were going to go into a separate thought about about breaks and why they can be so conflicting, because I feel similarly about breaks but in a different way and so, but but that's not where I thought you were going. And uh, and and it sounds to me like maybe if the problem being work, which is what I imagine this this streaming to be feeling that degree of stressful

You know, It's true, I feel good right now. This has been a good stream. I haven't very good for that stream, so who knows? It's always like that's that. I think that's the biggest problem that I have is that what's the is like, what is the fucking I? What is the x y X plus y times z divided by Q equation? Like that I can always feel good, but it doesn't I don't feel like I can don't feel like I have a control over that. It's just gotta's gotta go in. You's got to show up.

But yeah, yeah, I mean I think it's it's probably a lot of things that contribute to you know, how you enter in stream that that kind of primes you for whether it's going to be good to some degree, And then I think, whatever the dice rolls as far as who shows up in your stream, I mean, I don't know. I feel like some of that unpredictability is some some that I something I deal with too, and you know, there are aspects of my job that I wish we're more I don't know, certain or stable in

So it's a little bit of a double edged sword.

I agree with that. If are you going to invoice me for this?

No, because this isn't therapy. I this is me talking to you as a human. I'm enjoying this, and you know, to some degree my my therapy self is a bit inseparable from my human self. But I'm certainly not operating out of some kind of therapeutic orientation right now. I really I do appreciate what you're what you're telling me, and I am thinking about how I feel in my life to how I deal with my stressors, and you know, really digesting your question. So you know this is more

Anything or anything like that.

Do you have do you have like a therapy brain and a person brain where like, like if this was a therapy session and I was telling you things, would you be hypothesizing about certain things like diagnosing whatever it is?

Yeah, yeah, I mean I definitely would be. I'm trained to do like clinical interviewing, so there's sets of questions that I asked for, you know, different diagnoses, and so I'm really thinking about different diagnostic pictures. There's also structure to my therapy sessions that you know, from session one through session ten, in different stages of therapy and things

So what's wrong with me, Tiffany.

I don't know.

I wasn't thinking about it. I just really I am like stars structs if I'm being completely honest, Like, I got through the call and I was just like I almost lost words what to say, you know, talking to the streamer, and then at the end he's like, Okay, I'm gonna put you in the cue, but just so you know, you might not get picked.

And then my heart dropped.

I made it this far and it might not get through again. And I've tried calling many times, so it was just like fingers crossed, hope I get through. And so yeah, I'm really just kind of stoked.

Well, Tiffany, I'm so glad that you called. It's nice to hear a real therapist's perspective on this.

Uh.

I don't even know if I'm a fake therapist. I think I'm just a gecko guy. I think I say this. I don't like the name therapy gecko. We're kind of just here chat and you know, exist and breathe on each other and whatnot. But thank you for sharing your perspective, Tiffany, and for having this lovely com assation with me. Is is there anything else you want to say before we go to the people to the world.

No, thank you, thanks for having me on. I'm super grateful and really happy and yeah, this just sort of made my night. So thank you.

I hope you have a really awesome evening.

And yeah, thank you for all you do.

Thank you, Tiffany. I will try have a good rest of the night.

Thank you too.

We did it. We talked to Tiffany. Hello, is this Gregory?

That means are you Gregory.

Doing good?

Good?

How about you?

I'm doing doing okay.

You know you've come so different. I was just saying you sound so different maker and my phone verses on Twitch it's actually wild.

What is your name?

My name is greg What is your question about?

My question?

Well, I do have I I have one question and the story for you. I'm also I know you were talking a lot about you're a filmmaker and you started film school and stuff, and a question I have for you after just watching your chance for quite some time, what kind of film do you see yourself making? When I was do you want to get into directed?

When I was thirteen years old, I decided I wanted to become a filmmaker. I made films with my friends throw all of high school, from when I was thirteen years old to like eighteen years old, all of Highchoo School, we made a bunch of films. And to this day, the process of making those movies is probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I don't genuinely making trying because here's the thing. It's so hard

I thought you could take a happy you really wanted to, some kind of like comedy short film. Even I get see you making that happen.

For sure, I'd like to.

I'd like to make a movie at some point. I don't know if it would be a Gecko thing, but I like doing this. This is I will you know what I will say about this. It's a lot easier. And when I look for things to do in my life, I just look for whatever is the least challenging. But Gregory, you said your name was yes, sir, Oh holy shit, I totally thought your name it was not Gregor. I made a wild guess. How can I get you this evening?

Yeah, So the main thing I wanted to throw at you is so I had my first official, official, like full ass adult relationship. It was like, I'm so yeah, I'm twenty three, and I never really like committed hardcore, had something very serious before. And I've learned so much about like my boundaries and like, yeah, just like who I am and also the things that truly matter the most to me and also kind of made me truly think about what my Yeah, well my real purpose is too,

We both are.

Yeah, so this is interesting. But I was thinking through yeah, through hearing all of that, do you think cre even creating that kind of dynamic in relationship with making that super healthy?

It is?

What is the possibility I know that possibility is probably not so high of continuing some kind of friendship, but what's uh, yeah, what's your read on on creating that kind of safe space and that in that kind of intimacy and healthiness yet? Is it even possible?

My initial thoughts is, I think it's very cool that you've you've like gayined something from this relationship that you are taking with you.

Uh.

I don't feel like a relationship has to end good bad. I don't think that the way in which relationship ended, whether it was good or is bad or it was neutral, can have any effect on whether or not you choose to take something from it to benefit you as you forward in your life. And it sounds like you did that because you're saying to me, now that you've learned how to communicate better, your boundaries have gotten better, which

Or bad.

So I'm glad to hear that you got something out of it. That's the most important thing. I don't know if it's the most important thing. I don't know what the most important thing is. I'm go on the computer, but that is an important thing, all right. So you're so now you're in a point where you're like, should I continue to have a relationship of any kind with

I'll give you the rundown, the upgrade version, for sure. What ended up happening was, of course, you know, constructive consider it right, you know. So what ended up happening was I literally ripped my health, my finances, my identity to make this person happy. Who and this person had a very heavy indexpectation and I was so well still I am still so in love and also had that

And all this stuff. Was that was that stressful for you?

Oh?

Yeah, of course, I'm balancing a few editing jobs, trying to get a more stable job. And then I got yeah, I want to go back.

I want to go back to the I feel like I I feel like I kind of get what's going I want to let's go to the present here. We're in the present now. Okay, you're deciding whether or not you want to remain friends with this person.

And I know that there's just heavy investment, heavy love, and there's like you said too, there's that there's still that love. But I'm fearful that I'm going to get just hurt more and more because this person seems like they're slowly catching.

One know the full scope of the relationship. And again I'm only a get go on the computer. But here's my thoughts. You have a level of a level of self awareness, a level of I don't know what you would call it, but maybe maybe you would call it a desire for betterment, a lust for life, a lust

Understood, I appreciate that, and I feel that I am slowly going through that process, like I've gotten things back.

I like that.

I was fearful that I was going to get back, Like I finally took action to commit to one of my next film projects, and I'm gonna start trying to get it producers, investors going for that, and that's what's kind of like, that's my purpose, that's who I am. So I'm like so excited for that, and that's kind of what's really keeping me going while balancing everything else. But yeah, it's just it's hard because there's just so much chemistry and love there and also she's not the

Sorry, I'm sorry to cut you off, but there we go. I mean, you've got, like you know, you've got your film projects. You've got I mean, you've got like you you have a you you are building what I like to call it diversified life portfolio, which is helpful because you said that you had dependency problems and I can hear in your voice.

I learned that.

I can hear. I can hear, you can hear from all the things you're saying you care about developing yourself. You care about building a diverse life portfolio, and I encourage you to continue caring about those things and taking actions down that path. What do you say anamas again?

Greg?

Greg Or Gregory either or Greg?

Good luck to you. And last thing I'm gonna tell you before we go, uh, don't wait for people to give you as a film guy whatever. Don't wait for people to give you permission to make things. Just make them and put them on the internet. Okay, Gregor, I hear you. Thank you for call. I'll talk to you soon.

Hello.

Huh Hi, this is Courtney.

What's up?

Uh?

Courtney? How can I get you this evening?

I don't know how to answer that question. I've heard you ask it a few times that I just didn't think it would ever happened to me.

I you know, can I actually can I event to you a little bit here?

Ye see?

On one this is the real problem is the problem is that on one hand, this is this is this is ultimately the problem of like I don't really know what this stream is or what the goal of it is because on one hand, it's like it's free form conversations with people that don't have any sort that are

This?

This makes sense?

Right?

I'm not talking in loops. Right, this all makes sense?

Oh yeah, I was just wasn't sure if I wasn't supposed to just like jump into it, you know, like I wasn't sure.

There's no there's no supposed to. There's no supposed to, there's no rules. Maybe maybe I don't know, maybe I should set rules. There could be there could be a supposed to do. I could set rules. I could be like I could. I was watching I was watching a little bit of doctor Drew's stuff because we're gonna have him on soon, and he's very much like caller, what's your question? Okay, thank you, all right, And then I know it's a different style, but I'm like, well, I

I do, Yeah, I do. I wanted to tell you. I think it was when you had attorney Tom on. You had a caller call in and they told you about the dude got pulled over and they found some like weed in his car and dude ended up and he got a DUI for it. He told him that he told the cops that he hadn't smoked in like like two or three days or whatever, and they're like, oh, well,

And I was like no.

They're like, well, when's the last time you smoked? And I was like, well, it's been like like a couple of weeks. And they're like, well, you have weed in your car and like a bowl in your car and you just say you haven't smoked, and I was like no, and just because I remembered the episode to make sure to say that it had been a long time since I had smoked. And they gave me like a field sobriety test anyways, but they're like they go and I didn't get it to UA. Oh yeah, yeah, they let

How you.

Oh yeah, yeah, you know, I despite I might get some flag for this. But did you ever just forget the driving high is super illegal?

Yeah?

It doesn't.

I mean it's easy to everyone knows that. Everyone knows that, like, okay, everyone knows that driving drunk is super illegal. It's one of those I was talking about this. I think I was talking about this on stream the other day. It's a very similar thing with texting and driving, like like like texting and driving is like you ever on it, okay, because the whole the whole thing is like you shouldn't

Yeah, I mean, like I hear you, I absolutely hear you, and I totally agree. But also I got it right for the most part until I don't, but I had it.

I'm even looking at the chat people. Driving high is definitely not good, but driving drunk is way worse.

It.

Yeah, yeah, I totally agree.

Yeah, I mean I just forget all the time that it's uh illegal.

Yeah, I mean, like I'm not it's not defense.

I know people try to defend it, and it's like I get it because it's like it's at the end of the day, it's not defensible. It's not defensible at all. But I do forget this.

Right, right, Like I'm not like, you can't you can't defend.

Say, you can't be like, Okay, driving high is not as bad as driving drunk, it's not, but you can't defend it. There's no without that, without being a crazy person.

Yeah yeah, I mean like you kind of feel like an honest band like.

Trying to I've I yeah, yeah, you can't, and I shouldn't ever do that.

You shouldn't know.

It's round.

It's totally frowned upon. But it's likely to die and kill other people.

Oh, do you less likely to die and kill other people? I mean, when you're driving sober, you're pretty likely to die and kill other people.

But yeah, like ninety seven percent more likely than you are to die in your room. We were talking about this the other day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so.

You know I would not I would not endorse it, but I it's one of those things. It's one of those things. Someone said riding a motorcycle of mushrooms is super fun. That sounds horrible.

Man.

This is why I want to place I can use the subway, man, because the subway you can get. You can you can you can be, you can be up on, you get as fucked up as you want. On this you can get no way, dude, that's believe on the subway and no one cares.

The first time my best friend ever did acid, we were she drove like we thought it was going to take like an hour to kick in, because that's what dude said. And then we had like a forty five minute drive home, so we were like, sweet, we'll take it now and then like fifteen minutes after we get home, we'll start tripping. And it kicked in in like fifteen twenty minutes. Oh yeah, oh yeah. She like threw up like a whole shit time. As soon as we got like where we were going.

It was terrible.

I was freaking out. The passenger seat had a great time.

Well, Courtney, what what do we think? I know I sort of talked a little bit over you in this What do you. What do you think Do you think we are coming away? Do you think we're coming out of this? But you and me not? Just don't just think about it. If you learned anything, think about if I learned anything. Do you think either of us learned anything from this conversation?

H mm hmmm.

No, I have learned nothing. Yeah, no, I've learned nothing. But maybe you've learned something. Yeah, yeah, But that's all right.

We were I don't know.

That was like a bull that you had that I established it at the beginning. There's no supposed to is in this?

Yeah?

No, I supposed to beautiful? Have a good according.

Yeah you too?

Get bye?

Hello, listen, Hello, Hi, what's up?

Can you hear me?

Tyler?

Yeah?

How's it going?

How's it going?

It's going good, It's going good.

You look a bit stressed?

Do I really?

You do?

Like you're annoyed with some callers today?

I don't do. What about can you like sort of cut to the bone about what about that is?

Like? Like?

Is it is it my body language? Is it my tone of voice?

Like?

What what is it that's that's signaling that too?

Maybe your body language?

I feel like my body language is pretty like stagnant, like I don't pretty calm. Yeah, I feel like it's pretty calm. I mean it's is it my It's got to be a tone of voice thing, because I actually I kind of see it to myself a little bit.

No, I think you're good, but seeing a little stressed, like maybe you don't want to do phone calls for a while and do cooking.

I'm trying to think. I don't really know if I can cook anything.

It's pretty good.

I have to pee, maybe that.

Could be it.

Gotta have confidence in your cooking. Yeah, no, don't drink your pea.

Jackson Jackson.

Jackson, Oh, Tyler.

Yes, sir?

What's up?

What do you think about the trucking industry?

What do I think about the trucking industry?

Like?

What are my opinions?

Like in what?

In what sense? The odd? Actually, you don't even that whatever, whatever sense, whatever sense you would be referring to. I have no opinion on it. I've never driven a truck myself. I haven't interacted with many trucks, and I I don't I don't have that much of a depinion on it, to be honest.

Well, I am a truck driver. I was wondering what's your thoughts on road rage?

M Hm, Tyler, is this are you asking me your thoughts?

Are you?

Are you asking me my thoughts? And I'm this is not a hostile response. I'm genuinely genuine curious. Are you asking me these questions to set up your thoughts on the trucking industry and road rage? Because you don't have to do that. You can just tell me your thoughts industry. You can just you can just tell you can just tell me. We don't have to you don't have to set it up, like what do you think? Here's what I think.

You can just tell it wasn't necessarily set up to that.

I didn't say that to be a dif just why to let you know, no, no.

You're good.

I didn't catch that at all. Anyways, Alma, truck driver deal with a love distracted drivers out there, which is kind of unfortunate. See a lot of people texting and driving.

About one hundred.

Driving.

You know what is a horrible thing that I do that I think a lot of people do is I think the whole, the whole, it's the dumbest thing of all time, the whole texting, the sentiment as like we should not text and drive, right, that's been like it's on the billboards, is what the PSAs are. No texting and driving. So people now have it in their head subconsciously. If you're using your phone but you're not texting, it's fine.

Against that, no billboard up on it. But I do call those people in.

You call them in. Oh yeah, you seem to have.

Some pretty almost pretty damn close.

Accidents, really, but on account of people texting.

And driving, oh yeah, swervings almost sides swapping each other changing lanes at the same time, but they're both texting and drive not paying attention. It's ridiculous. It's stressful out there.

To be honest, it says here that sometimes it says here sometimes that you will see people jerking off in traffic.

Oh yeah, I've seen it like twice.

Now, Oh my.

God, I feel there. Hold on, I could have sworn there was a caller in the queue who wanted to talk about how he jerked off in traffic.

Fuck that guy.

Hold on, it's wait when you say when you say jerking, I don't mean the person tim Was there a caller who wanted to jerk off in traffic? I swore I could have sworn I saw it a call with that.

It's so, I guess more power to him, but pay attention.

Well, okay, when you say jerking off trafficks, do you mean jerking off like in when we say traffic, like how is the cars moving?

Or are we like in traffic traffic in cities?

Oh okay, So we're not talking like you know, moving very slowly traffic. We're talking like you know, at a red light.

It's not faster.

Okay, So jerking off while your car is going seventy miles an.

Hour, damn right?

Better than texting because you don't have to look because you don't have I disagree, because you can just you can because you can look forward and masturbate while driving, but you can if you're on texting.

You have to.

You have to, you know, you have to look at your phone.

Well, what's jerking off them? There was one guy that was watching porn while jerking while driving down the road. This was at night, so I could see clearly into his car.

Mmm, and no. Part of it was like it's kind of efficient.

Part of me was like it was kind of efficient. But at the same time I was like, come on, man, so you maintaining his lane all too well?

And so you said you you typically report people like that.

I did not report those two.

Who was the who was the last person that you reported?

Another trucker actually littering?

You're reporting them for littering. And when you when you make these reports, what typically follows? Are these reports actioned upon or are they forgotten?

I think the littering one was forgotten about. But one I was a reckless drunk driver. I'm pretty sure he was swerving hard through traffic. People were having a hard time passing him. I called his ass in up in Missouri and they ended up catching him.

M hmm.

Okay, so one of our reports was actioned upon and they were he was successfully caught.

Yeah, but with tex texting drivers because I've never seen him actually pulled over because usually most of time they're going the same way I am, I figured because they get off at an exit before an officer could get him.

Well, well, okay, wait, hold on, hold.

On, even if I call people in so you're.

Wait a minute, So you're driving in your truck, right and you look to your left and you see somebody texting and driving, and you go, I'm going to report this person. It's like, but how do you report them?

I have a headset that I use booth connected to my phone.

Okay, I was gonna say, this feels like because it's sort of a situation where like a cop, if they want to pull over somebody who's speeding, what do they do? They got a speed speed to catch up with them to pull them over.

Yep.

I hate driving. I I I if I could never if I could never get into a car ever again but still be able to live a full life, I would love that. But I I I truly hate cars because you're You're right. Everyone's out there, texting, eating, jerking off, getting drunk, getting hot, all the stuff, and you know, and and I get and look, I get, I get. You know, it's a lot of time in the car. It's a lot of your time. You can't you're there. People were trying to make this into a live time.

Put all that stuff down and just pay attention to life and live in the moment.

Get out of here.

Who wants to do that, right, not in this day and age?

Tyler, Do you have any Do you have any other thoughts, feelings, sentiments, questions, commons, concerns that you wish to share before we go? This was a good call. I enjoyed hearing your perspective on these things.

Another thing, Please drivers that did it's just a NonStop thing.

Please us truckers.

We wait well. In the industry that I'm in, I can weigh up to eighty thousand pounds, and we got drivers, young drivers mostly that will cut in front of us at the last second to get their exit or just to merge back in front of us when we're coming up to a stoplight or something. It takes us about two football fields and more to stop that thing. And that's why there's so many accidents because people don't give us a space in front. It's important to do that, otherwise they're gonna be a pancake.

Yeah.

I don't even know how you. I don't even know how you drive that big ass truck around. They're too big. I can only do a tiny little time.

I've been driving a long time.

Well, I hope you drive for even longer.

I'm pretty confident with my drivings.

Well, Tyler, I hope you drive long and forever into the sunset. And uh, I hope you have a wonder for us of the night. Thank you.

That's beautiful. Hey you too, shout out. It's a powerful condor.

Have a good night, Tyler, he as well. Now, I don't want to be the guy who is driving behind the guy jerking off and he comes out the window and then you just drive into it and it gets all over your windshield. That's where I think things could go wrong. You ever played Mario Clark DS. You know the squid item where you prep you do it and it makes like ink go on everyone's screen. It's like that, but with come, I don't know what I'm talking about. Hello, Hello, How are you?

This therapy?

Is this mister V.

This is mister V speaking.

How are you tonight?

I'm all right? How are you?

Could be better, could be worse, could be worse.

Totally, could always be better, totally, could always be worse, mister V. H How could it be worse?

How could it be worse?

Yes, well, I guess it goes to the root of why I'm calling in today, is uh. I used to be a teacher and I quit my job, and it's been about a year now and I'm doing something completely different, and I feel like my brain is turning into mush. To be quite honest, I feel like I'm getting dumber and dumber by the day with my new job, even though I get more money and I have literally zero responsibilities.

Mmmmmmm? Why did you?

And I hear about how schools are all I'll go ahead.

No, no, no, please, I want to hear. I want to hear the rest of of what you're saying.

Yeah, I just hear about how schools they're all super messed up, even getting worse. And I'm just like, well, I'm glad I'm not there, but I just I have like this inner need to go teach again. I just I need adults who can't do like falpilcation and really bad geography. I'm just like, why am I here? I should be, you know, teaching people fundamental skills.

M M.

That's super interesting. So okay, so how long ago did you leave your teaching job.

It's it's it's gonna be a year now, okay.

And you are saying that you're getting paid more and that you have less responsibilities, which are two things that I feel like a lot of people look for in gigs. Is more money for less work.

Is that the.

Main reason why you jump ship from being a teacher is because the software had more money and less work.

I know, I mostly jumped ship from teaching because like it was a good, cozy job. Yeah, it was pretty cool. I got the summers off, I got a pretty decent salary and whatever. But COVID hit and turn everything upside down, and then I got paid the tame to do like way more work. To be honest, I know people think teachers just said at home, but it was like pretty intense to go from like a lot of social interaction to virtual interaction. And yeah, and I kind of got

I guess, so it sounds as though you have I mean aside from just money, you have external desires. You wish to help people and have a genuine desire to educate them, to reach these kids.

Yeah, I was.

I would I would say so.

I would say so. And when you first just like, well, like it's kind of weird to be honest, like being a dude teacher and like kind of like doing bro things like I'm ripping my jewel and drinking a beer right now. But like you would meet these older teacher dudes, right, You meet these older dudes, and I was like, I don't really want to end up like these guys. You know, that looks kind of crappy, you know what I mean. But then I look at the people at my new job, I'm like, I don't want to end up.

Like these people either. It sucks too.

So I feel like it's just like a lose lose situation across the board. But at least I'm getting more money.

But I work.

I'm like from the Midwest, and like I work now in like an automobile factory, and I do like the same thing over like six hundred times a day. As much as like it was fun at the beginning, like oh, this is like super easy I just get paid to do this. But then after a while you're like, wow, like my brain is mush.

Right now, like so so so hold on, hold, I want to stop. I want to stop you real quick. So you said that. You So you're at this teaching job and you're having uh whatever COVID's going on, the gig is changing all these sort of things, and you have these older teachers that you're looking at, and you're looking at them and you're going, I don't know if I want to be this guy when I'm you know,

Well, there was two case scenarios. We'll call him mister X and mister Y. Right, let's call mister X the good guy. Right, he was married, he had to get kids. But you can tell mister X, like, you know, he didn't have like nice things. He drove a beat up, you know, minivan. I'm pretty sure he probably struggled to pay the bills. And you know that I don't want to live a life like that, you know, taking care of my kids on a teacher salary.

You know, it kind of sucks.

But then there was mister Why. And mister Why was like the long term playboy bachelor who takes trips to the Netherlands in Columbia to do god knows what. And I'm like, well, I don't want to end up like that.

Either, because that's a really shallow.

Existence, you know. I'm like, that's like, that's even though they're completely polar opposites. I'm like, I feel that's you're gonna be one or the other. And they both sucked.

I'm like, why why do you feel as though you can only be one or the other?

I just I mean, like, well, I mean on a teacher's salary, it's kind of hard to kind of really do anything, to be quite honest. So like it's either you live for yourself only yourself, like you do your thing for the kids, obviously, but you really only live for yourself because you really don't make that much, or like you kind of do like the whole family thing. But then like when it's bill time, like fuck, like how am I going to do this? Like how am I going to put my kids through college?

Mister V what's what what what's important to you? Because I know that you're looking at the and and I understand this. I understand this for sure. It's nice to have like models of you know what could be, but when you really think about it and you think about your life and you think about your options and you think about you know what, what is important to you?

What's important to me is uh family, having like nice things, working hard, I guess, and being smart. I guess like I like to use my brain. I feel like I feel like this job like underutilizes me so much. I'm like I look like I don't know. I guess, like because it's been a whole year, right, and I like

Well well, well, okay, so you say you have twenty six as well, okay, so you say you have not no responsibilities, but relatively minor responsibilities at this new gig.

Yes, So.

I don't know what would stop you then from trying to get creative because you seem like you're a creative guy and somebody can use your brain. I feel like for you, there could be a creative way on whatever your off time is to find a new type of venture. And I don't know what it would be. I'm not going to give you any sort of example because I don't I don't know. I just want to like plant the seed in your head of like that it's that

It's like, mister Ghek, like when you're a teacher, like it really you take it. You take it on fully.

You know.

It's hard to like walk in at the door at the end of the day and like put the teacher hat off, like it kind of stays on all the time. Yeah, you know what I mean. And then I just feel really conflicted with my identity nowadays, you know what I mean. Like before, when I was a teacher, I'd be at the store or around you know, people who had kids, and like I would like always test their timestables and can they can they can they do subtraction with money

You call me Gek. You don't have to call me mister Gek.

It's a respect thing the teacher hats on, you know. But it's kind of that feeling, and I hope you never have that feeling, you know, walking away from something you're so passionate about because you have to, you know.

Well, would you say a name was mister v mister v V In whatever you do, I wish you good luck.

You take care of I'm mister go Thank you, mister Van.

Yeah.

I don't know why mister Ghak makes me feel super uncomfortable. I I don't. I don't.

You know.

I'm not a teacher, not a guru, never never, never had any interest in, never had any interest in presenting myself as such. Merely, truly, truly, I only wish to present myself and I hope I'm doing it. I hope I'm doing this properly, because sometimes I feel I'm afraid that I'm not. But I I really, truly, at the end of the day, I only wish to present myself as a crazy person in a gackle costume on the internet.

Hello, Hello, Hello, Well hey, it's a good professor.

Why do you say I'm a professor?

Well, you didn't like mister, and you've got some credibility.

I think I don't.

But how are you doing?

I don't know if I mean, I don't. Here's the thing. I know that there's people watching my stream and stuff. But I don't know if that inherently, I don't know if followers gives you inherent credibility. What do you I mean, what is your genuine opinion? What is your genuine opinion on that?

Yeah, talks taught me that. TikTok has taught me that you will find a following in anything. And if you want to talk to the community, you're going to get it.

But you you welcome and you embrace a welcome environment.

Mm hmm.

And so you stand out with a ruby.

You know.

Here's the thing, though, is you can say and if you like, like if your friend tells you something, you're like, well, who the fuck is this guy? Like if if you meet someone at a party and they start like saying giving you advice about something, or or going on spiel or making statements of opinion or anything like that, You're like, who is this person? What the fuck are they saying? But if you saw a TikTok of a rand of

Hearing fingers in front of a turtle.

How can I get you? This evening? I promise I'm gonna find a better thing to say to transition into like the what the part of the call where we talk about the thing, But for now I'm using how can we How can I get you? Yeah?

Absolutely absolutely? For some advice, I don't know what the moderator told you. For a little side quest today, I accidentally drink my own year. Can you repeat that I have a relationship with Say that again?

Can you repeat that.

I drink my own year?

In on accidents? This about seven o'clock. But I was mainly calling because I have a very nice relationship with a with a with a wonderful girl, and I've been just like trying to find jobs, and it's hard to put myself out there and find relationships and get get connected to people. It's applying LinkedIn and your forms it. Everybody wants something different and everyone says they're hiring, but they're not. And it's just I haven't been able to

You said you drank your own urine this morning, not.

This morning, this evening accidentally, because I pulled it all nighter and I went to go get some donuts from my family in the morning about five am. I was in the parking lot of h EB and Man, I just had to pee and I had tinted windows, so I had a.

Little water bottle.

You know.

It got took care of it. I threw in my back right seat because I have a two door. I didn't want anyone happen to see it while I was inside shopping, right, so I threw it back there. Has forgotten about it. Me and my girlfriend when we were in my car, we always throw water bottles on the ground, right. Well, that's tonight I went to go pick up some cow zones right, some fresh mosaicoli and some boy some good dessert, and.

I went to go.

I was like, wow, I'm really parked. Once go grab some water from behind me instead of behind my seat. I went to the far back right. I forgot about my bottle and the disaster already hit me. Had to flush my mouth out with another little water bottle, add some kombusha. Some might say that was worse, but it was great.

So you flushed out your mouth with a second water bottle.

I what?

And what did it tastes?

Like?

See, that's the thing. It's been really cold and texted lately, so it was about like forty outs today, and so instead of hot in like ammonia, it was kind of like a really watered down but slightly lemon added tastes to a very bad power aid for McDonald's served in the plastic cuts, you know, a really big large cups with too much ice. It was cold, it was it didn't do it. I opened up my window. I had to spit it out.

I had to get some other water.

I didn't think I was tell anybody to tonight, but I told my girlfriend and then we went to see when you had last put some footage, and it was Friday, and I'm like, oh, this man has a schedule. So that's where we're at. Lyle, is it okay if I say Lyle? My name is Jared.

And how did this experience make you feel in the macro about your life as a whole?

In the macro, I really need to move out. My mother's toxic. But in the macro some year it's not going to change that. My my every day was pretty good. I love my girlfriend. Your girlfriend is your hands shut a chill out.

All to reach out?

No, you're not allowed to reach out.

Okay, Oh, I'm so.

Sorry, you are breaking rules.

I apologie. I just heard two mutics. But in the math ro it's changed me for the better. I'm glad it happened. It wasn't pleasant, but I've learned from it.

What have you learned from it?

Not to throw water bottles on the floor. And I'm not going to allow my girlfriend to do it either. Granted she doesn't pee in water bottles in my car. But you win some, you lose some, right like unmedicated adhd man, It's you have some great three four days, but then you have some depression naps for you know, about a week trying. It's hard to take care of

But yeah, what do you what do you do on the computer?

So here's the thing, toxic trait. I know legal legends back in season three, but that that got me into building computers. But before that, my dad's an electronics engineers, so I always soldered and desoldered printed circuit boards with him. I already forgot where this question is going. I am are you addicted to anything? While?

Am I addicted to anything?

Yeah?

Sugarh word heard.

Maybe maybe a little bit of porn. I could probably, I could. I could probably reasonably quit porn for a while.

Absolutely.

I I don't think I'm addicted to weed. I think of all the of all the things.

For the animated, you have the animated stuff, sorry to talk to over animated drawn you know hen Ti, Yeah, yeah, absolutely, the Jinci do you know the girlfriend's Twitter porn account.

You know, no, what is that.

Oh, she just has a Twitter account for her porn page. You know that's private because Twitter thinks that every single thing you like should be told to every single friend of yours. Crazy man, my bed's come to you.

What do you say? Her name was.

Jared.

Thank you very much for calling Jared.

Thank you so much, brother.

But it is not really an expert