#1662 The Self-Audit - Harps

eventually does. Or about all the noise I'm making here with my pad on the table, I've you heard any of that? So a few people have asked me lately about the the kind of these teaching slash coaching episodes that I'm doing. How come I am doing more lately? It's going to vary, I'm going to say, moving forward, it's going to vary depending on availability of good guests.

So it is very It would be very possible if we only did three shows a week, like most podcasts do, somewhere between three and sorry, one and three episodes a week. As you know, I do seven been doing it for six years, and also, as you know, getting high quality guests with whom I can have a great conversation that will be somewhat informative, illuminating, inspiring, and of value to you.

Getting those guests seven days a week is not easy, especially because those people that are that brilliant generally are pretty fucking busy. So we're going to get as many as we can. Some weeks that will be four, five or six people, some weeks that will be one or two. Most weeks, I think it's going to be somewhere in the three to four kind of range of having a good guest, and it might be look, I'm not sure,

we may even I don't know. At some stage I might back down from seven episodes a week and do five for I'm not sure, But for now I'm in the flow. I'm in a pretty good space as long as you get something of value from these episodes. And of course, if you prefer one or the other guests, or just the coaching sessions, you've got the option of choosing what you listen to and don't listen to. Of course,

that's where we are. So if you're not a member of our Facebook group, I would love you to be, and I would love you to be because there's no hooks, catches, agendas. We don't sell you anything. It's just what it does is gives me an insight into the mind of my listener. And obviously, because this is always a one way conversation, sorry about that. Maybe in the future we'll be able to have you. Well, we've done one or two I think on Zoom, where we have a little bit of

group participation. But what I like about the Facebook group is that gives me an insight into what you want to hear more of and less of, and the guests and the conversations and the topics and the subject matter that is for you valuable and interesting, and so it kind of gives me a little bit of direction about

where I might go moving forward. Of course, I can't cover every topic that every person requests, but you know, if there's kind of, as there often is, a bit of a consensus of things that people are more and less interested in, I will pick up that thread and

run with it when I can. Right So, today, as you would already know, is about this idea of doing a self audit or a self examination, in other words, trying to hit the pause button and do a little bit, you know, put your life, put you up on the old hoist, just like we do when we go to a mechanic. We give the mechanic the car and they put it up on the hoist so that they can walk around and have a look at everything, check everything out.

They lift up the bonnet, they go through the engine, they look at the brakes, they look at the running gear, all that kind of stuff that they can evaluate and audit where the car is at, what's working, what's not, what needs to be addressed, what's going great, what's falling apart? And metaphorically we can do the same with our life.

And I'm always doing a self audit of sorts, and so today I want to run you through some questions that I've used a lot on myself and also on also working with clients and a bunch of different human beings over the journey. So self examination or a self audit is a worthwhile, if not always comfortable, components of

the personal of the personal transformation journey. So for me, it's largely about self awareness and the recognition of habits and patterns and behaviors and choices that you are currently making and that are currently part of your day to day operating system. Things that can fit anywhere on the scale, things that you do that can fit in it anywhere on the scale, from toxic and destructive to positive and

life enhancing. And so it's not really about like these questions, this process, it's not, as I always say, it's not about self loathing. It's not about overthinking, but rather it's a strategic and rational and hopefully analytical exercise where we're not turning up the emotion. We're just trying to be practical, realistic, strategic, and like I said, not self loathing, not emotional, not destructive, We're not beating ourself up. I do a form of

this daily, and it's a great way. I think it's a great way to kind of step out of the moment, out of the micro of the now, and zoom out a little bit to find some clarity and some perspective about how you're going in the macro, the big picture life, not the minutia of this moment, but rather the day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year kind of reality that we're building and habiting. So here are some self audit questions that I use

that you might find helpful. So Number one on my list is do I actually have a strategic plan for my life? Do I actually have a plan? My experience is hoping that things will work out while not having a plan, while not having specific intentions and to do list and a timeline and structure and processes. Which is why you know I call this this question here and this idea here is really why I called this podcast the You Project, because our life will not accidentally end

up great. As I've said many times before, your body will not accidentally end up incredibly healthy, fit, functional, and high performance. Your marriage will not accidentally somehow be awesome. Your business will not accidentally involve evolve into an empire. Your career will not go through the roof without any work, strategy, work, or conscious effort to do the things that create the

results you want. So the first question is do I actually have a strategic plan for my life or just an idea of how I hope things will work out. Hoping that you will somehow land on your feet. Hoping that you will somehow succeed is a terrible idea. And this doesn't mean that everything that we do has got to be has got to be planned and strategized and

calculated within an inch of its life. Of course, it just means that, let's say a year from now, you would like to have change certain things that are currently happening or not happening in your life. Then if you can get clarity, for example, about what you want those particular things to look like, or what particular things you want to have happening on planet you in. You know, I'm recording this on October one, so for me, that

would be October one, twenty twenty five. I want to be I want to be earning fifty percent more than I'm currently earning. For example, I'm just giving you an example. Or I want to be I want to be ten percent less body fat, or I want to be I want to be having three days a week every week off. I'm sick of working five days a week. I want to work four days on three days off. And I want to have that a practical reality in my life

in one year from now. Cool. So we get so we get clarity about the things that we want to achieve and do and be and create, and we have a timeline. And I'm just picking a timeline which happens to be a year in this example, and then then we reverse engineer it. We say, all right, well, based on what I want to do and change and achieve in a year for me that would be October one, twenty twenty five, what do I need to do now? What decisions do I need to make? What action do

I need to take? What do I need to own up to? What needs to be different from now for that one year idea to become a one year practical, real world, inhabitable reality on planet me. Question two, which is kind of off the back of question one, is am I proactively and intentionally creating opportunities? It's funny because everyone wants an opportunity, and so there are a few ways that opportunities can happen. We can sit on our hands metaphorically, and we can hope. We can hope that

an opportunity comes along. That's the worst plan. Number two is we can proactively look for opportunities. We can look, we can keep our eyes open, we can be vigilant, we can do some research. We can be more proactive than the dude or dude sitting on the couch hoping that an opportunity comes along. The third option is that we actually do something. We create an opportunity. We create an opportunity. We reach out, we make a phone call, we organize a meeting, we plan an event, we get

some people involved. Whatever it is that we need to do. We do some research, we do a deep dive, we make some decisions, we take some action, We build something, We conceptualize something in our head and we operationalize that in the real world. We create our own opportunities. I created this podcast. It was an idea, it was a thought. Of course, many people have done this, well, not the same they've started podcasts. We know the average podcast doesn't last.

I think it's less than seven right, But nobody came along to me. And I'm not saying anti great because I'm not great, because I've fucked up many times. But the reality is now we have a podcast that goes into ninety countries, that's heard every day by thousands and thousands of people. Well, nobody knocked on my door and said, hey, Craig,

do you want a podcast? And what we'll do is we'll we'll record it, we'll produce it, will distribute it, We'll get you a partner, we'll align you with Nova entertainment, one of the biggest entertainment organizations. Nobody did that. So I proactively created this opportunity. And the opportunity that I created was starting off small and falling down and fucking up and getting back up, and over time, Now we

inhabit this thing. And now because we created this thing, Melissa and Tip and I, we created this great thing, and now other people want to align with us. But unless I initially turned turned the key myself in that or unless I got the wheels turning, unless I created the momentum and I kept showing up, it wouldn't have happened. It wouldn't have happened. So what are you doing to create opportunities rather than just hoping they come along? Question

number three? Remember, we're doing a self audit. What we're doing just recapping, is we're having a look at the things that we do and we don't do the questions we ask and don't ask our current operating system, our current behaviors, our current rules and rituals, and whether or not all that stuff that is integral to our life is working in inverted commas or not working. Question three is what uncontrollable or uncontrollables plural. Am I wasting time on? What?

Am I currently spending energy, time, focus, and attention on? That is a terrible investment. And so you know, we do this in a bunch of ways. We waste energy on other people that we can't control. We can't control what other people think or say, or do or you know, their behavior. Neither should we want to necessarily, of course, but you know, people are going to be people. The only thing in terms of you know, like, for example, I could really worry about how people respond to every episode.

I could overthink every word that I say. I could, I could instead of just freestyling like I am now. Imagine if I had to fucking script all of these words every day? You know, what do we speak about two hundred and fifty words a minute. Let's times that by sixty minutes. What is that? I think that's fifteen thousand words. Imagine if I had to script or write, choreograph, whatever you want to call it, fifteen thousand words. Fuck,

I couldn't do it right. But I'm aware that every day there will people that resonate with my thoughts and ideas and words, and every day there will be people that don't. Every day there will be somebody who thinks, fuck, that's a good idea or that's a good strategy, and somebody who thinks, who's this fucking idiot? How did I end up here? I'm switching off, and I'm okay with both of that. And you know what, I have to be okay with both of those outcomes, because both of

those outcomes. Once you get to a certain threshold of listeners or readers or audience size or whatever it is, of course people are not going to like you. Of Course people are not going to like the fact that I swear. Of course people are not going to like the way that I deliver content. I get it, and it's okay. Of course it's okay. It has to be okay. If if I'm not okay with it, then I definitely

shouldn't have a podcast. I should go and live on a metaphoric island and interact with nobody, because having a public presence means that that's going to happen. So back to the uncontrollables. So I know that I go in with my eyes wide open. I do my very best. I try to be as thoughtful and articulate and broadly relevant and aware as I can at all times while knowing that some people won't like this or me. How much energy do I waste on the people who won't

like this or me? Zero? How much did I used to waste a lot more? Where works in progress right? My next question is what are my results telling me? That is for you? What are your results telling you? You and I are always producing outcomes with everything that we do at work, at home, and our professional life and our personal life, our relationships with our diet, with our training, with our personal development projects, with our relationship with God if we have one, with our spiritual life,

if we have one, We're always producing outcomes. And so your job and my job in the middle of all of that data, all of that data that we're producing, is to be able to decode it, pay attention to it, and figure out what the results or what the data is telling us. What am I doing that's working, What am I doing that's not? What is my body telling me now? And so on? What is my marriage door, what is my bank balance, what is my career or

what are all of these different things telling me? My next question is what am I currently doing to my body? And I know this is a very specific question, but I've spent a lot of my life, as you know, working with bodies, the humans who live in those bodies, and I can tell you that there's not a lot of people that I have ever met that don't reasonably

regularly do dumb shit to their body. So the question is what am I currently doing to my body that's somewhere on the scale between somewhat unhealthy and completely fucking stupid? And I know this because I was this. I was this for a long time, and are there's still things that now I'm not saying the thing that you're doing to your body is necessarily eating junk food. It could be or smoking dope or cigarettes, or drinking booze or

excessive booze. Anyway. It could be about what you're putting in your body, but it could be what you're doing to your body, which might be that you are you're drinking caffeine within an hour of bed, or you're going to bed and you're stimulating, lighting up your prefrontal cortex, like paying attention to screens watching television or on your phone or whatever. So then when you try to go to sleep, you can't because your brain's lit up like

a Christmas tree. Or it might be that you know you're not going to the gym, you're not moving your body. It might be that it might be that you really are at an age where you should really be doing something to improve your bone density and to build muscle and to protect yourself for old age. It might be not what you're doing, but rather what you're not doing

that is potentially destructive moving forward. So you know, specifically, if you're not if you're somewhere between forty and sixty and you're not optimizing what you have to work with, there's every chance that you're seventies and eighties if you make them, are not going to be fun years for you. So let's not wait for that. So what do I need to do and chain now that will hopefully set me up for a better version or a healthier version?

This is the better question. What does current me need to do that future me will be really grateful for? That's a great question, he says humbly. My next question is, and you've heard me ask it many times, but it never gets old because it's always relevant and it's always important in terms of life design. Life design, designing intentionally designing and living our best life. The question is am

I living in alignment with my values? In other words, for the most part, do my choices and behaviors, actions, reactions, lifestyle operating system Do all of those things reflect the things that I say really are important to me. Your values are just the things that you literally value the most. Your values are the things that on planet you, in

your mind, in your heart are really important. Now, if you are living in alignment, then I would be able to just observe you without even talking to you or asking you a question. I could watch you over time, if I bumped into you often enough, and I would have a pretty good idea of what your values are, not because you tell me, but rather because I see how you behave I see how you move through the world,

I see how you do life. I see your choices, I see your behaviors, I see your interactions, I see how you are around others. And that gives me a real insight into what matters. And so when we are living. When we are living in alignment, we are more likely to be calm, not guaranteed, but more likely to become, less likely to be anxious, less likely to be overthinking everything, more likely to be mentally emotionally and physically healthy, not guaranteed,

but more likely so. Living in alignment with our values super important. You know that i'veset at many times. My next question is what is my most debilitating limiting belief? What is something that I believe which is literally a self created prison. Generally it's something to do with what we think is our ability, or our potential, or our self worth. What's been my most self limiting belief over the journey is probably that I'm not smart enough to

do pretty much anything. And while I intellectually now know that that's not the case, that I'm not stupid, nonetheless, there was a very long period in my life where I felt like I was hiding my stupidity from the world. I thought, if people knew what fucking goes on in my head, oh my god, if they knew how dumb I was, if they knew how stupid I was, if they knew how much I don't understand I truly thought

that I was. I didn't think I was a complete moron, because I knew I had some insight, but I genuinely thought I was less intelligent than average, and in order for me to be able to survive and potentially thrive and succeed. I would essentially have to trick people into thinking that I was smarter than I was. And while I truly don't think I'm an idiot anymore, and I don't think I'm stupid, I also don't think necessarily at all that I'm a genius. But I recognize the fear

and the anxiety that created that belief. I recognize where that came from. And so, you know, recognizing something doesn't change it, but what it does is it does create an emotional and a psychological shift where we think, oh, where is that that belief that that child, that child version of me, that teenage version of me that had all of that fear and that anxiety and that self doubt and that social dysfunction and disconnection, that I'm not good enough, that I'm not smart enough, that I'm not

fill in the blank. I know where that came from, I know how that developed, and now as a grown ass man, I can look back and recognize it. And even sometimes, you know what is interesting, Sometimes we can have a feeling, and the feeling might be I'm I'm an impostor I'm a I'm not good enough, I'm you know, I'm unlovable or I'm you know, And but despite that feeling or I guess that low level idea, we can

simultaneously know that it's not true. Like this sounds almost nonsensical, but I can simultaneously feel not good enough, like emotionally feel fragile and perhaps unworthy, while intellectually knowing that that's

not true. We're complicated humans. These these divergent constructs of feeling one way but knowing another way can coexist in the same human And that's why somebody like me who's reasonably I guess adept at communication and research and talking to groups and all of the things that I do, I can do that reasonably well and be reasonably confident and competent and skilled while also feeling inadequate. That's a whole other episode, isn't it. My next question is when Nell, Oh,

we're not nearly there, we're kind of on the way. Hello, have I been talking for Let me have a look now, Well, what am I currently avoiding? Delaying or not owning up to? This is hard because this requires real honesty, real self awareness, real vulnerability. What am I currently avoiding? Sometimes? You know, when we're either consciously or unconsciously avoiding something or delaying

or denying or putting something off. It's actually the thing that needs to be that should be addressed sooner than later. You know, for me, I've there's been lots of times over my journey where I've I've pretended that something. You know, I pretended to myself, but also I pretended to others. But you know, there was habits and behaviors and issues and even relationship things that I should have addressed that I that I was always going to get to soon enough.

And I guess I one I was avoiding because I didn't want to do something hard. I didn't want to get uncomfortable. And I think I was always telling myself that, you know, it'll work itself out, and we know how that ends. Let's do one more. So if ten out

of ten is you using all of your potential. So let's say your potential the limit of your potential is a ten on the one ten scales, So you're you you optimizing your brain, your talent, your skill, your time, your resources, your relationships, your creativity, your adaptability, your resilience. You optimizing you is ten out of ten optimizing what you have to work with what's your current number. I don't mean in this moment, I mean generally speaking, in

your life. I feel like that's a very non committal kind of opening, isn't it. But I feel like it's just Craig Harper's opinion. It is grounded in a kind of research over kind of a long time. But I feel like most people are wasting a lot of their talent and their potential, and they're wasting it because it requires real effort, it requires real courage, it requires real resilience, and it requires real consistency sometimes over a real long fucking time. I'm not I never well. I try not

to brag. I don't think I do. I try to be as transparent and authentic and real as possible. But if I'm proud of anything personally, I'm proud of the fact that for what I have to work with, I use a fair bit of my potential. I don't use at all. And there's still other things that I could do better, of course, But for me, who you know, the kid that you know that not great genetics, not

a brilliant student, all that kind of bullshit. For my starting from where I started from, I've done okay and I've done okay because I've fully committed and I've as much as I could. I've used what I had to work with. Now you might be listening to the and go, yeah, me too, And if that's you, I'm going to go well done. I still have room to grow and learn and evolve in this space. I still have more potential

to tap into, and I'm actually happy with that. I'm happy that i haven't used it all because otherwise now I've peaked and that's kind of depressing. But you know, for you, if you really believe that you are somewhere around a two, three, four, or five in terms of how much of your potential you're currently maximizing or exploiting, then that's great. That's great. So now you can roll up your sleeves. Now you can be brave. Now you can make hard decisions. Now you can fully commit, and

now you can use more of what you've got. Because we can't change the thing that we won't acknowledge, you're not going to accidentally end up successful. Remember, So the good question to ask would be how do I exploit my talent? How do I exploit or in other words, use more of my potential? And that is going to be. The answer is going to be somewhere in Take more chances, do more things, have more conversations, step into the discomfort,

don't give up, step up rather than give up. Don't do it for fucking two weeks and go oh, I gave it a good go and it didn't work. It will work, or you will work, or even if you don't get the exact outcome that you want, who you become along the way is awesome. As I've said many times, it ain't about the summit. It's about the climb, and you and I are always going to be in the climb. See next time,