Welcome back everybody to another episode of Caravan of Garbage where we're going to be talking about the five... Four Jason Bourne movies and another Bourne movie. I love that. Adjacent Bourne, we'll get to it. Mostly good. Mostly good. Yeah, please leave a like, because this is... Oh, you don't have to leave a like for this, but you could. This is the second adaptation of a Jason Bourne book. You're saying people should like this.
Yeah, why not? Because you did a real deep dive. You can pick another reason. Okay. You just like our faces? Yeah, that's right. In these PNGs? Yeah. That are shaking and dancing? Yeah, look at us go. Wow. That's not free to make either. We're paying someone to do that. It's crazy. It's outrageous. The prices are outrageous. We've got AI to do it, but we didn't. We've got a person. We've got a man to do that. That's right. There he is.
Yeah. Next time we're gonna print them out and just dance them on sticks. We'll do it. Yeah, we'll do it. So yeah, there was an adaptation of... The Bourne Identity in 1988 for TV with Richard Chamberlain. Okay. I've never seen that, don't really know anything about it. Sounds British, yuck. Yeah, great. And then it kind of went, you know, like in development for...
A decade plus. Doug Liman directed this one. That's right. And the only one, and it was his idea after doing Go and Swingers to make this movie. He's since done Edge of Tomorrow, incredible movie. Yep. As well as Chaos. So you can't win them all. Well, that's the one way if you look at Tom Holland's memories, he's got a mind snap. That's right, and then there's a girl on the planet. What's a girl doing on Mind Snake Man Planet? Boy Planet, what's a girl doing there?
Get out of here. No girls allowed. I haven't seen that movie, but I do know that it sucks. He also directed some episodes of the MTV series I Just Want My Pants Back. That's true, too. So I guess you can win them all. You can win some or all. Yeah, I feel like this did set a new standard for action, not in the way that The Matrix did a few years prior, but it also is responsible for that really choppy fight choreography editing, like Liam Neeson climbing over that fence. Like, this led to that.
in a way. Yeah, I don't think it's Laman's fault. No, no, I don't think it is. I mean, it's people thinking they can ape the style without kind of understanding what about it makes it work. Yeah, yeah. I think if they'd done Jason Bourne climbing over a fence in this movie, I think they would have... given Damon, Matt Damon, some prep time to climb the fence so they wouldn't have to do it. 20 different cuts you know what i mean yeah and matt damon isn't 70 years old
currently. Not currently. They look so young in this though. Oh my god, a fresh face did Matt Damon. Right? He wasn't even old enough to take down Facebook yet, which he does in another one of these later. He wasn't even old enough to give wise advice on that episode of Hot Ones yet.
Yet! But I think he's perfect in this. I don't think it was the first choice. There's another name that we'll talk about a bit later. Clint Eastwood? Yeah, Clint Eastwood. Wow! Well, in the books, or the first one in particular, he's a bit older than this. He's not in his 30s. He's like an experienced... to call him. Did you write all the books from Ray said? Yeah, I read them all. I read all of them. They're all the same. That's crying.
Don't ask me any further questions. Okay. Because I'll just tell you they're all the same. I trust you. They're all the same. Wow. But yeah, he's got so many born identities in this. I mean, you're going through his passports. One of them, he's wearing a turtleneck. That's good. My goodness. He's got Aussie money, which I love to see. I didn't say that. You can swim with it.
It's plastic, Mason. Oh, it's the plastic money, right? That was very exotic at the time, yeah. Absolutely. So you got in there some pineapples? You got a few pineapples? You got some tans?
Yeah, I agree. At least they're blue. That's fun. That is fun, yeah. So this was written by William Blake Heron and Tony Gilroy. Tony Gilroy, the Andor guy. Exactly. The guy who doesn't care about Star Wars, and that's how he made a good Star Wars. That's how you do it, yeah. I guess he didn't care about... the incredible world of... Sexy undercover espionage either. No.
I think you're probably right, yeah. But during production, this was a bit of a nightmare. Universal were constantly sending memos to Doug Liman after viewing Daily's memos. Well, it's early 2000s, probably faxing it. Like the movie better. I guess they had an email then, didn't they? They were doing an email. Maybe they sent him an MSN message.
That's a nice EQ. It is, but you know. Kids, you're going to have to look that up. Don't worry about it. Just watch your Minecraft movie, right? That's where you're at. They have to fire up AOL. Yep. That's right, yeah. One of the memos urged the linemen to consider using a montage accompanied by suitable wrap-up music to introduce the final act like a Tony Scott shoot. and Lyman sent the studio back a message letting them know that if that's the ending they wanted, maybe they should hire Tony.
Ooh, bald. That also explains why Doug Liman... didn't direct another one of these. Yeah. Yeah. I think he doesn't get enough credit because I think, and I like this series in general, I think this is the best one. It might be. And it absolutely sets the tone. It was so fresh at the time. Oh, my God. It changed James Bond for the better for a time.
It's true. Yeah. Because as people know, the James Bond franchise just steals from all the innovative stuff. It was innovative once, I think, maybe in the 60s. Spice? You like spice? You need spice? Yeah, we like that. Good, you got spice. It's me. Copy broccoli. I'll give you... I also think this feels like a European movie. Even though it isn't like an American production. Shows Europe in a way from the perspective of a normal person.
or a local, he's not running up the Eiffel Tower or driving a car around the Eiffel Tower. Or driving a Mini Cooper up the Eiffel Tower. There's none of that. And I think that in itself is really interesting. And I think even when you get to like... John Wick, which is obviously more fantastic. I mean again, it's John Wick. It's obviously way more elevated than that
but it's not just showing, you know, the Eiffel Tower getting hit by a rocket and melting and whatever. Oh, sure. Yeah. Maybe that happens in the Facebook one. I don't really... I think that happens in Tomorrowland, a movie that nobody saw or liked. I also like that his sidekick is just a person. It's Franka Patente. Yeah. She's run, Lola, run. Agreed. And others. Yeah, she's running around in here too. She's in the MCU. No way, she's in Titan.
That TV series? Is she? Yeah. Should I watch that? No. Okay, fair enough. Don't worry about it. It's gone, right? I think so, yeah. Okay, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it, yeah. I mean, I've heard good things, but I'm not going to worry about it. Yeah, it's interesting that he makes her get a haircut and he just looks like Matt Damon. We need to change our identities. Our born identities. I'll keep mine and you...
I'll give you a haircut. That's right. You're cool with that? It's got to be bad, just to be clear. It's way worse than your regular haircut. I've got a lot of things. You've seen that, but I'm not good at this. I'm not going to practice. But what he did practice, mate. is the action sequence Matt Diamond! He wasn't really known as an action guy before this, like it was insane.
Robert Ryan. He's the coward in that movie, isn't he? That's true. That's why they had to save him because he was too much of a coward. Yeah. It should be called saving the coward. private Ryan from himself because he's such a coward and he won't stop crying grow up private Ryan But he trained in the Filipino martial arts, Kali, and also Jeet Kundal. Kali? Yeah, Kali. K-A-L-I, Kali? Sounds like a hairdresser. Maybe he should have learned the hairdressing from her as well. Maybe he should have.
And Jeet Kune Do. That's Bruce Lee's. That is Bruce Lee's. That's right. That's Bruce Lee's martial art. And you see a lot of that in there. And I love the way he fights in this. I think my favorite action sequence is in there. is where he punches that guy in the balls and then he throws him down the stairs and he slides down the stairs like he's a cartoon character. Absolutely. Just splayed in an incredible pain because he got full-on punched in the...
Your favourite action sequence isn't the one where he uses a guy as like a... silver surfer surfboard and falls down the staircase and then just lands on him. I think I made the case for my favorite action sequence. So it's not the one that makes zero sense. It would have caused him to break his spine. No. It was this one. That's the one downfall of this movie, I think, is that.
specific i think you're probably right well there was going to be a more fantastical ending which we'll get to but i just i love all the hand-to-hand stuff in this especially that fight in the apartment i mean like the guy who he did that with he's an actual professional stuntman and he trained on that and apparently every time Matt Damon hit him he would give him like a bottle of champagne I was like, you can hit me as much as you want. And I'm like, God, that guy has the craziest way.
to both enter and exit an apartment. Just explodes into the room on a cable, firing a machine gun. And then just somersaults to his death over that balcony. God, what a guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love also, you know, him less so, but I like the fact that all the Treadstone assassins are just guys. Yeah. Like, because that...
back in the day. That's how you blend in, right? Back in the day, that's how all those guys looked. You ever see a picture of one of those like tier one special forces operatives and they're always just some nerd in glass? And it's like, this guy killed 400 men in a day. You're like, damn, all right. In a day? Like nobody's, you know.
Nobody's decked out in the tactical gear and the 17 guns. No, you can't stand out. That's the point of this, exactly. Clive Owen's one of them. He's wearing glasses. He's a proper nerd. It's called The Professor. Yeah, that fight sequence in the apartment, that was rehearsed over two months, which was the most rehearsed.
sequence of the film i think there are some punching sound effects in that that do let it down that's true they're a little exaggerated but other than that i think it's pretty much perfect and that pen moment oh my god I just, I'd never seen, I just never seen that at the time. I was just like, oh yeah, you can do that in a movie, I guess. And again, John Wick does a lot of that. He's killing people with all sorts.
things, whatever you can get. Apparently the idea behind this was that they would write Bourne into really complicated scenarios and then puzzle solve about how to get him out of it. and a pen. Sometimes it's a pen. A pen and a man. A pen and a man, yeah. So I also think what's interesting about the character and just this movie and I guess everybody in it, nobody's perfect. Ain't that the truth? Yeah. You might say po-buddy's nerfect. You might even say that. That was the slogan in the books.
You don't have to be a brainwashed assassin at work here, but it helps. Hang in there. Yeah. Don't tumble off a balcony to your death. Yeah, unless you lose a fight and embarrass... Like with a parent. Then definitely do that. Yeah, yeah. Like, for example, I don't know if I mentioned this, the bit where he hits that guy on the balls and he slides.
the stairs you did mention that yeah okay so I did he pauses for a minute and he goes ah and he goes back and he grabs the radio like he hurts the guy and he throws and then he's like oh no wait and then he goes there's little moments like that when he's going through the embassy looking to escape. He pulls a map off the wall. He doesn't just know where he's going. He's never been in that building, or if he has, he doesn't remember. He's looking at a map during the car chase.
Like, he doesn't just automatically know the streets of Paris. Uh-huh. You know? So, yeah, he's trying to figure things out, problem-solve as he goes, whereas James Bond would just, you know, he just knows everything most of the time. Yeah, he is unrelatable. The number of maps I've stolen. Sometimes you got her. You got her. How is she going to get out of there? Where's the toilet? Rip.
Where is it? Where's the turlet? Tell me! Take a hostage. Where's the turlet? What are you saying? Turlet! We don't know. Well, thanks for your time. I'll be back later. Car chase is great also. Oh, great. Yeah. I mean, it's certainly not the first...
Funny car chase, a funny little car car chase. That's the Italian job. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's nothing funny about this, Mason. No, it's true. It's pretty funny. I like how packed the streets are. You know what it reminds me of, and you'll appreciate this, and actually got the same team that worked on this movie.
Ronan. Oh, yeah. So the car chase in Ronan, which is a phenomenal movie. The great Frankenheimer, the great John Frankenheimer. Yeah, it does feel a lot like that, doesn't it? Yeah. It's a gray city. Oh, I don't know. It just says, how the fuck is Walter Goggins? He's having a big moment at the moment. I mean, if you're not interested in checking it out based on anything else we've said, the fact that we're going through the Walton Goggins renaissance
He's got like three or four lines in this. Yeah, he does. He's in there. He's fun. Yeah. He's really changed. What do you mean? I mean, you look at him there and you look at him now, you wouldn't think that that guy there becomes the guy that he is.
Huh. Maybe it's because he's ripped and he's got longer hair and he's tan. I don't know. Maybe. What's going on? A man can do that. A man can do anything. That's right. But bear in mind Pope and he's nerfing. That is so true. I mean, there's a number of great names. Brian Cox is in this. Brian Cox is in this.
That other guy, whatever his name is, Chris Cooper. Chris Cooper is in this. Chris Cooper is in this, yeah. That's all good, man. I love all of that. And as mentioned, Clive Owen. So I love that scene. Those two standing off against each other. Like when he explodes a fuel tank and it just sets everything off. I don't think Mythbusters would have a little...
Fuck off, Mason. Whoa! We're here to look at a cool movie and have a cool time, alright? Alright, fine. I don't even do that anymore. Maybe Adam Savage does a sim. I do like... He actually has. The Jason Bourne red duffel bag. He has it. He owns it, yeah. He dares to do that after probably doing an episode of Mythbusters that says you can't blow up a fuel tank by shooting it with a gun. And then he has the...
The audacity, James, to then somehow acquire the red duffel bag that has all of Jason Bourne's pineapples in it. Yeah, that's right. Wow. I agree. I'm pretty mad about this. scenario that might be true also. We're both angry about this. We're both angry, thank you. Thank you for having my back.
But, you know, seeing a showdown between these two guys, they both have a similar set of skills. And I just love that. And it's just incredibly tense. Wouldn't it be better, though, if they both had like...
similar matching like CGI nanotech outfits. Oh, okay. They were fighting on an impossibly tall CGI building or something and there's a... I'm just picturing Black Panther at the end of Black Panther. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. It'd be better if it was just that. Look, nobody likes the ending of Black Panther.
including the people who made it and worked on that sequence because it was rushed. But yeah, no, I guess I would prefer that if they were wearing invulnerable nanotech suits fighting on a weird train platform. Yes! A nanotech train platform. A nanotech monorail. Oh, my goodness. But, yeah, in the ending sequence, he busts out of the building and he arrives. the stairwell. Which, look, I don't have a problem with. I'm okay with it, Mason. You're not okay with it?
I'll have to be okay with it. You bounce off that guy. It's fine. It's like when you're in an elevator and it's crashing, you jump. You jump at the end. It's fine. You do a little hop at the end. That's true. Yeah. They probably teach you that intro.
They definitely don't. And they probably looked at that on Mythbusters and said it's not true. They probably call it the Treadstone Hop. Do you reckon? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Amazing. Don't forget, do the Treadstone Hop. And there's a little jingle that goes with it. Do the Treadstone Hop. My body's an effect, but do the Treadstone Hop.
Yeah. I think the thing with an elevator is that you're supposed to lie flat. I don't think it works at all, James. No, no, no. Because then you're just using your body. It's hitting all of you as opposed to just your feet. Does that make sense? I don't think there's enough. Oh, no, you're going to die. You're going to die. But if you're in that situation, that'll make you feel better for a second. Yeah, you'll be fine. But yeah, one of the considered endings.
was where Bourne is pursued by assassins on motorbikes with rockets. Okay. Rocket launches or there are rockets on the motorbikes? No, they've got rocket launches, I believe. Matt Damon reportedly hated this ending and refers to it as that damn, damn rocket and motorbikes ending. Okay, alright. Language, please. Alright, Grandpa. Oh, man. Great movie. I like it. Anyway, it's time for the Born Old Trivia.
very good this is a trivia section of the show where we go hey you know anything hey who are you talking to there i'm talking to me okay and i do that's great yeah so you did another persona that's deeply buried second persona and then you'd probably... Yeah, it's weird, man. I am unstable. You should say a profession. Never will.
Okay, terrific. Well, if you did, we wouldn't get any more trivia, would we? Exactly! Most of the US Marines in the Zurich Consulate were actually Marine security guards assigned to the embassies in Europe. at the request of producer Frank Marshall. So they used their own uniform and worked with the director on the dialogue, most of which was cut, and developed the tactics they used in clearing the envelope.
Do you think that their fellow Marines thought it was cool they were in a movie or embarrassed? beat up by Jason Bourne Matt Damon Matt Damon yes yeah you're saying the guy that got punched in the balls the guy that got punched in the balls yeah yeah that is embarrassing Absolutely. Yeah. You probably got fired. Probably got fired. How did you let this happen? Yeah.
If this could happen to you, you can't work here. Yeah, they probably called him Private Ball Punch for the rest of his career, which wasn't long. Yeah, I'd imagine not. Brad Pitt was apparently offered the role, but he chose to do Spy Game instead with Robert Redford. Okay. A movie that...
As far as I know, nobody's seen it. I've seen it. It's all right. I like Robert Redford. Great. Is it The Bourne Identity? No, this is way better. I didn't think so. Yeah. I don't know if you know this, but there is a 2008 adaptation of this. It's sort of based on the book but it's basically the game. You made a video. What did I say?
It is an adaptation. I think that is true. That remains to be true. Right, but specifically into a video game format. Yeah, that's right. Okay. And it seems as if that... At one point, they might have had the likeness of Matt Damon and then lost it. Because a lot of the sequences are just ripped straight from the movie. Okay. But it's also in the era where every lead character just looks like Nathan Drake.
Yeah, for sure. So, yeah. I've been playing it because we're going to be looking at it at BigSandwich.co. Oh, wow. It's a fun... It's a fun little... The modern remastery has the face of Skibbity Toilet. Did you know that? Yeah, that's good. Keep it relevant. Walton Goggins, Skibbity Toilet. Isn't Michael Bay doing the Skibbity Toilet movie? Almost certainly. That seems like a match made in heaven. I think that is true.
anyways box office on a budget of 60 million and it did go over there was a lot of concern about Is this movie, is it spiralling? Are we out of control here? Oh, yeah. No. Have we punched enough men in the balls? Or too many? No, I don't think so. Its return was $214 million, which is very solid for this. It also did really well. release. And again, Matt Damon has talked about this on
This was also in the era where your movie didn't need to make $500 million to a billion dollars and become a franchise. Because there were dividers and so forth. That's right. Action figures, that's Gibbity Toilet Game. Exactly. Punch a man in the balls, actually. And he slides down the stairs and it goes... Anyways, we're going to be looking at more Jason Bourne next week.
With The Bourne Supremacy, I think it's called the next one. I think it is The Bourne Supremacy. I do get these mixed up in terms of titles, but yeah. This is the closest adaptation of The Bourne. Oh, because you've read all the books. Yeah, and they're all the same. And they just kind of go off in their own direction, the movies. And Treadstone's a different thing in the movies than it is in the books, which again are all the same. And now a different guy writes them because Robert Ludd...
Is dead. That is true. Yeah. And you're okay with that. I mean, puppet is an effect. It's true. You can't live forever and continue to make Bourne books. Sorry. But if you want to see that early, you can actually head over to BigSandwich.co, where in addition to early videos, as mentioned, we do video game let's plays. Coming up very soon...
We're going to be playing that Jason Bourne video game. Huzzah! Well, it's actually called Robert Ludlum's... Ludlum's? Robert Ludlum, yes. Yeah, yeah. I've probably been saying his name wrong. No, you said Ludlum. I'm the best. But it's perfect, except I am. Robert Ludlum's the Bourne Conspirator. God just rolls off the tongue. Was he alive at the time?
2008? Good question. That would suggest that they sort of, they put it across his desk and said, what do you think of this? Can we put your name on it? And he went, all right. No, he died in 2001. Oh, that's right. He died during the production of this. Wow. Yeah. Crazy days. Robert, would you mind if we tested the ballpoint? just to see how real it is no you'll be fine trust me you're gonna love it we also do bonus podcast
It's nine bucks a month to help support this channel if you are interested or you can just hang out here. That's fine. And also we have a podcast called The Weekly Planet where we talk movies and comics. that every Monday. Ain't that the truth? Yep. It's got its own YouTube channel. It's on Spotify. It's on Apple. We have a grand old time talking about the big movie or TV show.
That's right. Everywhere crossing our fingers for a newborn adventure. That's right. Which is coming. Jack Black's going to take the role. Good. He's in everything now. He's in everything and he won't stop. He won't stop doing it. Anyways, thank you to Ben for the edit. Thank you, Ben. See you in the next one. Grab that jam, you guys. We'll see you next week. Goodbye.
Yeah, it was good. Best action sequence of the movie. I'm punching you in the balls. Oh, no. We're acting a thing out. Oh. No, that was perfect. No, but you really did it. Yeah, I know. Good thing you hit my other personality, so I don't feel it. It's good. This is good. Did we mention he lost his memory in this?
No, we didn't mention Julia Stiles either. She's in this. Yeah. A smaller role, but it increases as the... Yeah. Anyway, hitting the balls. Yeah. Act it out. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, got him. Come on, mate.