Let's chat about showing up big. And I think a lot of times, when we have plans to do something, whether it's something like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna post something really authentic and vulnerable today. Or we say, I'm going to get on video, or I'm going to post this video about this, or I'm going to be consistent for X amount of times a week, or get on a stage or be a guest on a podcast, or
whatever you want to call it. i Today, we had our first day Queen con, and I everything that could possibly, like go wrong. Like, I think a lot of times people think that, oh, this is your third year. You're like a pro at this, you're like, so used to doing this. And, of course, you're not going to have an issue like getting on stage and talking in front of people. And I, you know, I always thought it was like a crock of crap that singers would always say I get nervous every time
before I go on stage. And it's so true. A third year, multiple other conferences that I've been a guest that and things like that. But third year for hosting our own conference, and it's still to this day gives me nerves like I get so nervous. Like last week, I think I was so nervous. And so like, stressing myself out, because that's what we do, right? We think about, oh, I don't have anything life changing to say I don't have anything that's going to help anybody. They've heard it all
before. Blah, blah, blah, right. And so I, we find ourselves in this situation where we are telling ourselves BS stories, which is what we're all good at, unfortunately. So we're telling ourselves these Bs stories, and then we start to believe them. Because that's what happens when you storytel And you keep saying it over and over enough times, eventually, you're gonna believe it, right? And so last week, I even was having these feelings of, I don't know if I want to do
a conference anymore. Like, it was truly the fear talking. But at the time, I couldn't see that right. Like, at the time, I was just like, it's so much work. There's so many, like, things that we have to do. And even if we have a planner, we are still we have to make the decisions and shooter like making decisions, that's hard work, right? Or you don't know the best, the right answer. And so it's just like so many things, and logistics and ticket sales and, you know, selling a ticket
to an event. You know, it's almost harder than selling an online course, because you actually have to get out of your house and drive to the event and right. And again, things come up. Kids get sick, babysitters canceled, like so many things happen, right? And so this morning, as I'm heading to day one, a clean car, we started at one o'clock. Thank goodness, we started at one o'clock on day one. I am driving and my tire is low. Now, granted, I've only had these tires on my car less than
48 hours. So I have no idea why the tire would be low. So I'm like, What do I do? Like it's losing air? Like it seems like faster than it should? And so I'm like, Okay, I'm like halfway between home like home and where I'm going and I have to be at the venue at a certain time for my hair and makeup because I'm first. So do I like do I go home? Like I don't know what to do at this point. So I decided just you know what, I'm near a
gas station. I'm just gonna pull off, get air in my tires, put more air in it, and I should be okay. So I started driving again, after the air in it and fill it up. It was really hard to fill up by the way, which I thought was odd. And so I start driving. And as I'm driving, I'm like, Okay, this thing is so amazing air like, thank goodness, I put air in it because it's it's going out again. And you know, my other tires are actually going up because they're getting warmed
up. This one's going down. So it's like getting to be like this bigger difference. And so I'm freaking out and I call my husband he's like, Well, you know, the venue is about 25 minutes from my house and he's like, Well, I'll come over like this afternoon I'll make you an appointment and we'll get it fixed. So anyhow, that happen, then, you know, just like little things like first of all, Let me be very clear, especially anybody that is my friends are listening to this. Nobody did
anything wrong. But little things that would never bother you start to bother you, right? Because, okay, well first, I also got up at 2am. By the way, let me just be clear about that I should be in bed instead of recording this episode right now. But I woke up at two, I could not get back to sleep. So I laid in my bed and edited Tik Tok that I already had on my camera, I just needed to edit
them. And so then like I finally was like checking, I wrote a post, I shared some photos, like all the things not to go back to sleep because I couldn't go back to sleep. And then I finally got up at 445 and said, You know what, I'm just getting up. And so there was that whole fiasco, then the tire, then just little things that I was just bit letting bother me that I normally wouldn't. It was just
the circumstances I was at. And if you ever went to like a restaurant, and somebody has been really crappy to you, like the waiter or waitress, and, you know, sometimes we just have to realize they must have had a really bad day. And I think that's just how I was. So anyhow, it just like, I was just like, eating my lunch. And I was just like, not feeling it. And I was just like, I don't know, I just, I don't know, if I needed to cry, or I'm just having one of those moments. And then I was
like, We need any music. We need to put music on, I need to like get out of this. Like, I know, this is not who I am. This is not how I want to show up. And the show must go on right now. Had this been a Facebook Live, or a masterclass or something? Sure I could have rescheduled it. Right. And I have rescheduled podcast episodes and things like are not podcast episode, podcast interviews, if I energetically don't fill it, I want to get my best, right. But this is a little different. This
is an in person event. People, we have butts in seats, basically. So they're counting on me. So it's like, it's showtime. So it was like all about just working on my mindset asking myself the questions. Is this really bothering you? Or is this because you've had just a crappy day already, and you're just trying to make it mean something more than it does. And of course, that's what it was. It's the same thing, when we don't get the sales we want. It's the same thing, when things
don't go our way. In our business. It's the same thing when that video doesn't go viral that we think was a killer video, and we spent so much time on, you know, it's all of those things. It's, it's we have these expectations and, and it's like, are you willing to keep pushing through? Or are you going to let every little thing that doesn't go your way bother you? Eventually, you learn that you would never do anything, because if you wanted, everything could
bother you. Right? So it's just like, you know, I don't know, they call it self regulating yourself or whatever. But to me, it's just working on my emotional intelligence asking myself, is this really what's bothering me? Or is it something else? Is it just because I'm tired? Is it just because this day, you know, I'm, I am one of those people that I have this vision in my head, how my day is gonna go. And when it doesn't go that way, sometimes I get a little I get a little Tiffy.
Right, I get a little like, this is not what I expected. This is not what I wanted. And so I think it's just the show will go on. And there are times that you absolutely need to reschedule, you absolutely need to push it out. But then there are other times that if we said we were going to show up, even if we didn't tell anybody else, even for doing it to keep a promise to ourselves, we just need to show up. And sometimes we're real raw and honest about it just like I am on this episode
right now. It was a crappy morning. I mean, I can't sugarcoat that. And I'm not gonna lie about that. But it got better as the day went on, when I got on stage. You know, it got better. Like it was just like I had to be in the energy. I had to be in the vibe, I had to ask myself the hard questions. I had to, you know, answer the hard questions. And realize it was totally drama that was created in my own head. And we're all
guilty of that. And as I love to say, business wouldn't be easy if it wasn't for the bullshit stories that we tell ourselves. And this was some bullshit stories. I was telling myself and so I got to turn those around, put myself in the right mindset and show up on stage. And honestly, on stage, I would have never said this, but watching the videos back, got on
stage and killed it. I'm just like, if you don't watch yourself back, I used to think that was really vain and I used to actually not be able to but now I do critique myself. But also, it's just like, dang, that's some fire. That's not the Crissy from a year ago. That's not the Crissy from two years ago. That's some growth right there, my friend. So you get to show up. You get to show up, you get to show up, the show will go on. The question is, is it now? Can you make it happen in the moment
that you wanted it to? Or do we need to renegotiate with ourselves and make it later? But then don't find an excuse or reason not to do it then