Uplifting Others When Things Suck! [449]

And it got me to thinking that I am not saying my life is fabulous , I'm not saying that life is easy , I am not saying that I never have a bad day , I'm not saying I never have a bad launch . I'm not saying any of those things .

However , I believe that when someone's having a bad day , instead of saying my business sucks too , things are hard for me too . I'm losing clients too . I believe it is our responsibility , especially as online businesses , as leaders in the industry , to not play into that narrative .

And here's why Because , let's say , somebody in that community was going to be on a discovery call after this conversation went down and they're in the energy that , well , I'm never going to land this client because I just saw everybody say how bad things suck right now , how bad things are going right now .

So I know I'm not going to land that client , so my energy is going to be off on that call , or I'm going to put out so much desperation on that call that it's going to feel really icky to the client on the other end and therefore they're going to feel like something's off and they're most likely not going to say yes .

Now I am not saying that we should pretend like things aren't happening and we should pretend everything's great when it's not , because I don't agree with that either . However , I believe there is a time to have a little pity party for ourselves we all do it and there is a time to raise your standards .

There is a time to lift others up going through that , even if you're going through the same thing . I'll never forget some of my hardest times in business , when I wanted to quit and I wanted to be done and it was too fresh to be talking about it on social media because it was happening in that moment and I just lifted up others .

I literally went and saw everyone else that was hurting or dealing with something and I gave them my best advice and I poured into them and it was honestly one of the best things that I ever did , because when we're focused on somebody else and we're focused on supporting someone else , it's really hard to focus on our own problems .

It's really hard to focus on our own ish that we have going on in our lives in that moment , and so it has been something that I have always done and it has never , ever , ever been the wrong decision . I've had a free day on Telegram , I've had a free , I'm taking 15 minute calls Like who's next ? I'm calling you , message me and I'm calling you .

I'm sitting at the airport , like I have done so many of these things because , again , not every day is going to be sunshine and rainbows as an entrepreneur , but we get to make the decision . How are we going to hold that ? What are we going to do ? What are the action steps we're going to take ? Am I going to become a victim ?

Am I going to go into victim mentality ? Am I going to have a pity party for myself ? Or and maybe sometimes it's all a little bit of both , right , a little bit of all of it or am I going to literally say , okay , things are going the greatest right now ?

I'm going to go pour into somebody else because that feels really good to me , and I know that there are people out there that have it worse than me , and I'm going to focus my attention on serving and supporting them . It is always , always , always , serve me . In the end , I'm not saying that person became a client . I'm not saying anything like that .

However , I do believe what we put out into the world comes back to us in some way , shape or form . Maybe not right away , maybe not in 90 days , it might be a year from now , but I know it's always going to come back to me . I don't do it because it's going to come back to me .

I do it because it's the right thing to do in that moment and I was working with my certification coach on this the bad things that go through our heads , because we get into these stories and we like to tell ourselves stories and you know we love people to collaborate with those stories and tell us how hard things are and tell us how things suck , you know

so that we're not alone . But that does not serve us and our brains collectively are hardwired to remember the bad things .

I also read a quote today that we remember 10% of what we read , 20% of what we hear , 30% of what we see , 50% of what we see in here , 70% of what we discuss with others , 80% of what we personally experience and 95% of what we teach others .

Now , if we're having a discussion with multiple people about how bad the market is , how bad the world is , how bad or how hard it is to get clients , how hard it is to make money . We're going to remember 70% of that conversation because we discuss it with other people . Now , maybe I'm wrong here , but that's not the story I want in my head .

I don't want to remember that . I do not want to remember that . And so the 95% of what I teach others , I choose to not make it what the negative conversations are happening . I choose to lift people up . I choose to help them see a different narrative . I choose to also call people to hold a different standard .

I call people because I believe , if we are in this industry , we are some type of leader . Right , we are putting ourselves out there , we are making an impact on an audience , we are influencing our audience and it is our job to stand differently . It is our job to have a different standard . Again , I'm not saying you can't be upset .

I'm not saying any of those things . However , there is a different way I love to say I go cry , whine , do whatever , I pull my big girl panties up and I go to work . Now , sometimes going to work means I throw myself into action steps . Sometimes going back to work is throwing myself into supporting and serving others .

It depends on what the day looks like and how bad of a day it is and what happened . I think we get to remember that , first of all , one of the best ways to serve and support yourself when you are going through something so bad is to literally take the attention off of you , get out of your own head and go serve and support other people .

I used to remember I don't remember if my parents said this or somebody said this but when you're worried about money , donate . When you're worried about time , give your time away . I thought that was a beautiful thing . When you're worried about something , go serve somebody else , go support somebody else . You're never going to be like .

I regretted that because whether that conversation , that support you give them , helps them right there in that moment or later down the road , it doesn't matter , because you did it unselfishly for them to serve and support them and give them some type of kindness , or maybe it's strategy or maybe it's support , but whatever , you did that selflessly for someone else .

I believe that's never wrong . They always get the other person always gets to choose what they're going to do with that . So I want you to ask yourself where can you improve on immediately going into negativity and having a pity party and getting other people to have a pity party with you ? Where can you improve on your evidence Meaning I invested myself .

Of course other people are going to invest in me , or I'm putting myself around people who are making money , I put myself around people who are signing clients , I put myself around people who are being very , very successful , and I see it in front of my face , because if I see what is possible , it's easier for me to have that same receiving energy of what's

possible . Where can you improve on this ? Where can you put yourself in different containers ? Where can you raise your standards and where can you stop playing into the victim mentality , the pity party mentality , and stand up and make it about somebody else ?

I hope this serves and supports you , because I've been the victim mentality I've been the widest has happened to me before and it has never served me .

And one of the best things I ever did was watch the movie the Thinkin' Grr Rich movie , and Barbara Cacquoin , who is one of the sharks , said one of my biggest successes is I've never felt sorry for myself , I've never played victim and when she said that , I called it out in myself and realized I played victim a lot . It's not fair .

Why does this happen to me ? Blah , blah , blah . And I decided in that moment , when she said that same moment , to never play that victim again .

Maybe there's something else that you're dealing with , you're struggling with , and , just like I've talked about , marie Forleo said at a Fitch Y'all in 2022 , I don't do overwhelm , I don't do victim mentality , I don't do pity parties . I just don't . I don't surround myself with that , I don't play into that .

And I decided today if I look up to you and I've seen it better out of you , then I'm going to call you up to a different standard as well . You don't have to accept my calling you up , but I'm going to do it anyhow . What you decide to do with it is always your choice .

But I'm doing someone a disservice if I choose to play in that same realm and that same pity party , victim mentality . That me too , in all the negative ways , and I choose not to play there anymore .