Welcome back to the Visibility Impact Show . We have an amazing guest today who is a certified master life coach and master level social worker . Her professional and academic track record are filled with over a decade of experience in mental health and social services , with the largest portion of her expertise being in treatment planning and goal attainment .
She has been in my programs for most of 2023 . She is such a go-getter , kayla Simmons . Welcome to the Visibility Impact Show .
Thank you so much . I'm so excited to be here with you today .
So life coach . Tell me more Like how did this start ? Like what got you interested in life coaching ? I want to hear all the background and how you got where you are right now .
Yeah , so I am a master's level social worker butchering and so of course I have met people across the lifespan with all kinds of issues , things . When you see a social worker , typically something's going on in your life , you need somebody , right . But I also have experienced a lot of ups and downs .
I call myself the queen of fresh starts , and so in therapy and social work it is kind of frowned upon to share the things that you've been through , because the entire premise of the service is to help the other person . And in life coaching it's kind of like people come to you because they know that you've done it and so that's the whole thing .
It's like , hey , girl , I can help you because I know . And so I decided that this was the best way for me to pour into people , to reach as many people as I could , and that by sharing and bearing my scars , I was able to help to heal others .
How hard was that when you first started to talk about your scars ? Because I know sometimes people have this thing about vulnerability is failure and that we're supposed to hide that part of us and only show the good parts .
Oh girl , so hard . So hard because I come from a tiny little merry-go-round town where everything is perfect and I live in the perfect house with the perfect family and everything was good . And so when I started being really open about my failures and things that I had done , not only my friends but my family were like wait a minute , what are you doing ?
You're telling all of your secrets , you're airing out all your laundry , and I'm like people need to know that this happens to everyone . Like you can dot all the I's cross , all the T's and stuff can still fall off the wagon , and so it was really hard for me .
But once I started doing it , it just opened the door for so many people to come into my community and to also seek help .
That's so good . It's so funny because , as a man , my husband has always been like don't talk about this stuff . And they made them at work read was it Brene Brown's Dare to Lead ? He was like vulnerabilities are like good . And I was like , yes , they are .
I know you've been saying it , but this book and I'm like , yeah , okay , well , the professional says it , so now it's okay , but I'm not saucy about it , Not at all . So during this journey , obviously and to talk about your failures and talk about the vulnerability you've had a lot of setbacks . You've had a lot of , probably , breakdowns .
So what helped you get through those types of things , to come back up on top , even though it might have been a rocky , getting back to where you wanted to be ?
Yes . So I come from a really large family . I have two boys that I adopted from therapeutic foster care , and then I have nieces and nephews out the wazoo like a ton and just knowing that they were watching me because we were totally in mesh . We do everything together and so it was .
I may fall , but I cannot stay down Because in the event that they are in this situation , I want them to know , I need them to know , that everything's going to be okay , like you can start over whenever you want .
But looking into their eyes , knowing that I was kind of like the , I was the benchmark , I was the cookie cutter , like they're like , whatever she does , I can do , and so I have fallen lots . It's kind of my thing , but getting back up on my feet has become a trademark that she won't stay down .
Yeah , and one of the things that you talk about a lot that I think is so important for so many of us is personal growth . So where do you feel like your journey with personal growth really started ?
I think that my journey with personal growth probably started , I would have to say , after my first marriage ended , because up until that point , I had come from the perfect family and everything was good and everything was right and nothing had ever failed . So that was my first major quote failure , closed quote .
And so after that it's like oh wait , kayla , there may be some things that you need to work on , and it would have been way easy for me to blame him and be like you did this , it's all your fault .
But coming from that situation where I really took a step back , I could see all the ways where I could have also been different or I could have also been better , and so I think that's where my journey started , and I am a resilient , lifelong learner , like I love to learn , and so when I started working on myself , there's never really been a time since then
that I haven't been like OK , how can I be better , how can I do more , how can I reach more people ?
I love that . Do you feel like there is obviously I call personal growth the unsexy work and like it's the stuff that you typically can't really . You're not really showing it right . You show it because of the growth that you've had , but , like , what was like the first thing that you did ? Like for , did you invest ? Did you read a book ?
Like , how did you really get into this and understand ? This is personal growth . It's not really just mindset work and finding the silver lining and all of that stuff .
Well , yes , because the first thing that I did was go to therapy . And I'm sitting in therapy and I'm on a rant , like a tangent , about how , all of these things . And my therapist says to me well , kayla , what role did you play ? Like what , what was your responsibility in this ?
And that's the first time that I realize that accountability is going to take you a long way . And so , yes , I did . I dove in and I started reading books and I started doing all the things and really honestly , applying all of the things that I had learned in school to apply with my , my clients and my patients . I applied it to my life .
I'm like , oh , this applies to everybody , yeah . So once I started doing that , I'm like , oh , these exercises actually work . This is not just something you tell someone to do , but that was my growth process . And this is just not school , this is actually application for life .
And once I started to apply it for myself , I realized how much it works and how influential it can be .
So true , so true . And like , can you like look back ? I always call , like my previous self , baby Chrissy . Like do you look back in those days and thinking , oh honey , you had so much work to do ?
It's funny that you say that Because my nieces and nephews call me cakes and it's because when I was in school I was baby cakes and I went to college I came home and she just cakes . I'm like that unevolved Kayla is baby cakes because maybe she had work to do . I also can see where I was previously very emotionally charged and I am a high energy girl .
But I can see why people felt like I was sensational and I was dramatic because I didn't know how to channel my emotions . I didn't know how to master that Like whatever I felt it's spewed out right away .
But doing the personal growth , doing the development , like channeling and really reflecting , has taught me that everything that you say , everything you think , doesn't have to come out of your mouth and this isn't worth your entire day . It's taken work but I've gotten there .
That's true . That's true . That's hard sometimes to not just let it all come out . So one of the things that you , I feel like , are the queen of , is starting over , and I think there are so many people like listening to this podcast that are maybe in a similar situation , where they feel like it's time to start over . It's time to have that breakthrough .
What is like some of your best advice for those that are listening so my best advice for people for starting over is fear not .
And I say that because we're always so afraid to start over . Because , like , what are people gonna think ? What if I fail ? What if this , what if that ? And my answer for that is always what if you have to spend the rest of your life feeling the way you feel right now ? So what is scarier ?
Never living out your dream , never getting a fresh opportunity , never going after what you want , or staying in this spot . And for me , staying in that stagnant spot , no matter where it is , that is way more scary than moving forward .
So , so true , I agree with that . So okay , my next question is okay , starting over personal growth , what do you feel like what ? How is that work in relation to growing a business ? Because I personally believe if things are crappy in my own life , things are crappy everywhere , right ? So how do we take that into ?
You know , obviously you work with people not necessarily they don't have to own a business , but you also own a business and you see people going through things that you know they own a business . It affects everything .
So what's your like best advice for those that are also business owners , that are trying to push the personal things to the side and just move forward ? But we know that that's not always . That's pretty much impossible , actually .
Yeah , so I will . I often say that starting a business and running a business has been my greatest feat in personal growth , because it's impossible to do one without the other , and I have several clients who actually are also business owners . And when you don't do the personal growth , it shows up in your business .
And that is when you are constantly looking for the likes , you're looking for the instant validation and it's like okay , sis , we're looking for validation across the board , not just on our social media .
We're doing this in our family , we're doing this in our career , and so when you can highlight different areas that it's showing up in both places , it teaches you that oh , okay , I am good enough and nobody liked that post , but I liked it and you keep moving right .
But just you can see how little areas where you need to tweak it'll show up in your business if you're not careful .
Yeah , I've heard that owning a business is like the biggest personal development journey that will ever go on and I , by far , I totally believe it , because I think in our personal life there's a lot of things that we can . How do we say this ?
Like , I feel like , depending on who you hang out with , like it's the norm to be jealous , it's the norm to want what everybody else has . It's the norm like , but in our world , like the entrepreneurial world , it's not really except .
Yes , it happens , but the goal is to be a better version of ourselves than we were yesterday , and I don't know that every person that doesn't have a passion and a purpose is feeling that way . I agree , normal everyday life .
I totally agree .
I do . Do you think that our life coach ? This is a great question for you . Do you think people who have a higher purpose is it easier for them to want to do the work and implement to do the work than it is for somebody who's just a nine to five or I don't know if that's the right question to ask .
I think that when people have a higher purpose , I think that it can be easier for them to implement , but only if they're aware of it , because so many of us walk around and we have this higher purpose . We have no awareness of it . There's just this pool like I know , I'm it for more which typically means you're living out of alignment .
Once you get into alignment , there is no stopping them . They're like go boots to the ground . What do I have to do ? They have to be aware of that . I think . Also , with each comes , like that imposter syndrome am I good enough , like the inner voice , the inner critic that's constantly talking to you ?
I think the more that you try to achieve , the more that the inner critic shows up , but the easier it is to silence them . So , yes , but only if they're aware .
When you're working with your life coaching clients , do you guys ever talk about like our inner mean girl ?
Oh yeah , oh , what are your thoughts on this ? So we actually talked about this not so long ago . Your inner mean girl is there and we acknowledge her and we are kind to her because she's there to protect you . She's like don't do that , everyone's going to laugh . Why would you want to be embarrassed ?
So once you start seeing her as more of a friend than a foe , it's easier for her to be quiet because you say sis , I appreciate you , I thank you for trying to protect me , but I got this .
But it takes a moment because it seems like an enemy , but in reality your inner critic is almost there to protect you and you have to start doing little bitty steps and showing up and celebrating those small wins . So you told yourself , I told you we could do it . You have to do that constantly , yeah .
I love that because , as someone whose husband was not supportive when I first started my business and in his defense he'd seen me do a lot of things we talked about this , but I'm a three five generator so I fail a lot Didn't know that back then , but you know .
So he had every right to be doubtful and it's funny that you say that , because I think a lot of things he said was to protect me , but I just had to take the baby steps and have the little wins in the journey along the way to show him hey , I can do this , this is , this is totally for me , this is going to work , I'm going to make it work .
And so that's interesting that you say that , because I can think about that for him . But I don't always think about that as my inner mean girl . Sometimes I'm really hard on her because she does , she doesn't understand , she doesn't understand what's going on in the other side of my brain that I'm trying to do . So so , yeah , yes , definitely .
What is like one of your number one pieces of best pieces of advice for the majority of your clients ?
For the majority of my clients . I tell them to kill comparison , and it's . We do that in every aspect of everything . I often encourage them to like , unfollow social media accounts that make you feel uncomfortable , hide friends on your Facebook that make you feel uncomfortable or that you're feeling in lack , because you and I are both Tony Robbins fans .
But Tony often says that where your focus goes , energy flows , and so when you get so stuck in that , why not me ? Why are they buying a house ?
You lose sight of all the wonderful things that are happening to you , and so when I can get them to stay in their own lane , keep their eyes on their own plate and start celebrating their wins , they're so much happier , and so that just no comparison . That is my chief like advice to everybody .
I love that Like really blinders , yeah , blinders all the time . I love it . So do you feel like and I know I kind of , we kind of talked about this a second ago do you feel like you would be where you're at right now in your business Cause things are going really , really well without the personal growth journey that you've had ?
No , not at all . I think that , because of all the things that I've experienced , I say often like I , I'm not really afraid of failure . I'll jump out there and do like whatever . If I'm really interested in something , I'm willing to jump in .
I'm not afraid to bet on myself and I have bet on myself before and it was not great , but I'm not still not afraid to bet on myself , and so I think that comes from experiencing so many down times and being able to pull myself back together , and so I'm not afraid to launch something , I'm not afraid to try a new business plan , I'm not afraid to dabble
in this type . I'm like oh , I like this , we'll try it out , like . But I don't think that people who haven't failed , people who haven't had that experience over and over , it's harder for them .
Yeah absolutely Do . You think everyone needs a life coach .
Yes , I think everyone needs . I'll say it this way I think everyone needs a life coach or a therapist . Even life coaches and therapists need a life coach or a therapist , and sometimes it may not be like a long-term , ongoing thing . Maybe they just need to coach you through the next few steps of your life .
Maybe you're moving , maybe it's career , maybe it's a relationship , and so it doesn't have to be this oh , I'm broken . Let me see a life coach . It could simply be a . Let me talk to an unbiased ear , someone who is not gonna be like oh I'm so worried that you're gonna fail . Someone who doesn't know everything about your existence . I do .
I think , on some level , everyone needs a life coach .
Okay , so you just spurred another question Do people need to be broken to come to you , or can they literally just want a better life to come to you ?
Oh , you can literally just want a better life . Normally there is a pain point , so pain pushes until vision pulls right . So usually there's something that says I need to see somebody that brings them into my world . But someone could feel like things are great and they just want them to be better .
Or they wanna strategize how to make their relationship better , keep the spark . Or they're in a career and they're like I wanna kick it up a notch . I'm happy , but what do I do next ? That's perfectly fine to come in and chat with me . We could still strategize that .
I just say that normally when someone's coming to a coach or something like that , there's something that they're unhappy with and they wanna solve it .
Do they always tell you or do you have to pull it out sometimes ?
It just depends on the client , sometimes like everything is fine , we're wonderful , and I'm like , okay , so how can I support you , have you , how can I support you ? But most of the time I have a . All of my clients do like a questionnaire and they'll check stuff in those boxes and so I'll start talking about each category and I'll have to pull it out .
But most of the time they'll tell me that's so cool .
So cool . You've got the gift to be able to do that . So I love that . I love that , and okay , so are you ready to shift gears a little bit and do some rapid fire questions ?
Let's do it .
All right . What is your favorite social media platform ?
I am old school and I'm gonna have to go with Facebook .
Okay , you're fine . Who is your favorite person to follow on social media ?
My favorite person to follow on social media is Mel Robbins . I love her . I love her .
All right , what is your favorite sweet decadent food ?
My favorite sweet decadent food is probably fro-yo . Yeah , frozen yogurt , for sure , with lots of toppings . Oh no , I actually none . No toppings at all . I just wanna enjoy the yogurt . Give me two to three scoops , I just wanna enjoy it All right , favorite vacation spot , favorite vacation spot is actually New Orleans . I do love it there .
The food is so good and the people are so nice . The culture is just amazing .
I need to try a bignet besides Popeyes , like that's the only bignet I've ever had .
They do them no justice . They do them no justice . There is nowhere better than the culture and food there in New .
Orleans . Yeah , okay , bucket list , bucket list . Favorite way to de-stress .
My favorite way to de-stress is I have shower steamers , honestly , and I just get in the shower and I use a eucalyptus steamer and I blast music like super loud what kind of music . Any kind honestly . Like it doesn't have to be , but I am in Nashville so I'm definitely a country music girl . So just lots of music and it's just next . You know .
Next thing , I know I'm fine .
I love it . So good , so good . Okay , my last question what is visibility done for you ?
Wow , wow , wow . So visibility has allowed me to impact so many lives . I truly believe that my purpose is to love , lead and inspire other people to fearlessly pursue the life of their dreams , and so it has allowed me to do that on another level , because I was .
You have said to me often it doesn't matter if you have the most amazing program if no one knows about it . And so over the last couple of weeks , the inboxes that I've gotten , the stops that I get the girls in Walmart , they're like you're oh , my goodness , you're coming with the curls and I'm like I'm hey , coach K now .
But whatever , it's just being recognized as a impact or as an influencer in that inspiration space . It has been amazing and I feel like it has brought me into alignment because I'm finally living out my dream , like I'm doing what I was here to do and I love it . It's all because I've gotten visible .
I don't even know what to say after that . That was like , that was deep . I love that . I love that . Ok , so , as we wrap up this episode , is there anything else that you would like to leave my audience with ?
I always tell people , or very frequently , that it is never too late to start over . It is never too late to start fresh . You get to start new , you get to start again . You get to start late . Just get started .
Literally , just get started , and if you've done it before and you failed , this time you're starting from experience and so you get the opportunity to change your life . Every day is a new start .
I love that . I love that . Now , where can my audience follow you ?
I know you already pretty much said it a million times , but say it again you can find me literally everywhere at hey Coach K on Instagram I'm here on Instagram , hey Coach K on Facebook , hey Coach K . And on TikTok is hey Coach K one .
But yeah , I show up every single day and I'm given tons of knowledge and value and have programs and I just want to change the world and you're a part of it .
I love that . I love that , and you have a special free invite for my audience . You want to tell them a little bit about that ?
Yes , if you aren't already , come and hang out with me in the Plot Twist Community Group . It's my free Facebook community . We are literally a group of women supporting women as we start over in love life , relationship , career . Literally all the things we do programs , challenges , polls , like it's literally so much fun .
I cannot be more proud of the relationships that are being grown there . And so get in there , let's hang out , let's have some fun and let's transform our lives .
And we'll have the link in the show notes . So check out the show notes for that link . Kayla , thank you so much for coming and pouring into my audience . If you are listening and you're feeling pulled , that you need life coaching , make sure you reach out to Kayla and find her on all the socials and start a conversation with her to see if it's a fit .
But she is amazing and the thing that I love about you , kayla I just have to say this out loud is that you show up so much like people . I feel like they feel like they already know you by the time that they start working with you . They feel like you're like you're their best friend already . So I just think that's like beautiful .
So thank you so much for showing up for your audience , because I know that so many people are going to find you that you're going to be able to change their life so impactfully .
Thank you so much for having me . This has been absolutely a joy .