Heart to Heart: My Most Personal Episode [500]

I can teach my inner circle once a week . I can launch a new program , or two every single month . I can . Just one thing gets a five minute or less video every single day , right , or some sort of training .

And so for me to say I don't know what to say , like , and I think it's just , I actually have 501 is recorded , it's been recorded for a week , but it's like what , what do I share with the 500 episode ?

And so I was talking to a friend of mine and she was , like make it personal , like talk about you , not the strategies , not the things , and I'm like that's so hard to do . So I'm gonna give you a little , a little tip here . I don't think I've ever said this on the podcast .

So do you ever like you get introduced to a group of people and it's probably gonna be virtual online . Maybe you get put in a new group , maybe you get put in a chat and everybody says introduce yourself . Does anybody else freeze , or is that just me ?

It is like the worst thing in the world to introduce myself , not because I don't think I need to , but because it's like ugh .

Here I gotta talk about myself , right , and so , with someone who loves getting uncomfortable , with someone who just was talking to another person about this the other day doing things that are comfortable stretch us , grow us , and the more we can do them , the better , right .

So to talk about myself in a whole entire episode and it's the 500th episode , so that means it's a bigger deal is very uncomfortable for me , but we're gonna do it , and so I don't know where this episode is gonna go .

I have some points that I wanna make and some things that I wanna talk about that I think are very , very important , but honestly , I just hope you enjoy this episode . Maybe you pick up something , maybe you don't feel alone in something , or maybe you agree with something , or maybe you disagree with something .

Whatever it ends up looking like , I think you get to decide , okay . So one of the first things I wanna talk about is . I had a coffee chat with someone a couple days ago and she was asking me it was purposely I wanna find out about your life , I wanna find out about what you've done and why you've done it and all this stuff .

And she asked me what my biggest lesson had been . And this goes for business , but it also goes for life . And I said that everything I've ever achieved and received and gotten came from getting massively uncomfortable . And she responded and said something similar .

This probably isn't verbatim , but it sounds like you've been very aware and always able to check yourself . And I was like , yeah , I won't totally own that .

I am very self-led , I am very self-aware and even in the moments that I'm not , I can check myself very quickly , meaning when I feel bored , when I feel sluggish , when I feel meh , when I feel like things aren't happening . I know it's because I'm in my comfort zone .

I know it's because I just I'm feeling safe and I'm loving to Netflix and I'm loving to do all of these things , and I know that staying in my comfort zone feels safe . But it gets old really fast and it's really boring . And when I play out of it , that's when I feel alive , that's when I create excitement .

But the thing that we always forget and I know this isn't new for me , saying this on this podcast , especially if you've listened to 499 episodes up to this point is that you will never , you will always have to be up-leveling , right . You can't just be like , okay , I got uncomfortable today , I'm good for the next two months .

No , because now you're comfortable with the uncomfortable right , or it might take a little while , but then you get Comfortable again . You know it's like . It's like when I started working out Currently working on getting back into that , by the way , total transparency there , that's a personal note .

Struggling to get back into it , to be honest with you , but again , another story for another day . But when I first started working out , I cried on my trainer .

I cried , I called her several names on the way home when it hurt my arms to move the steering wheel and , matter of fact , I tried to go home where I could make more rights than lefts , because it hurt worse to go left , because obviously left side of my body was a little bit more weaker right . I didn't even think that I wanted like a strong body .

Then I was just like this sucks , what did I sign up for . What was I thinking ? Why would I do this to myself ? And then I got stronger . But it's kind of like the best thing about life is that you can . It's it always correlates with working out and getting stronger , because you're never not going to be sore .

I mean , unless you keep doing the same weight and you never increase it , right , or you never increase the miles that you're walking or running , or you never increase the speed that you're walking Right , you're always going to have some kind of soreness . So that's not comfortable at all , right .

And so I think we get to remember that and everything in life it's not comfortable . You know , when my dogs decided well , I have two dogs , but my one dog decided that she didn't like the other one and wanted to literally just wants to eat her all the time . I was getting up every morning before that and I was doing my meditation .

I had this whole morning routine set up . I was so proud of myself , I was doing so good and I realized , okay , I can't do this anymore .

I could have still done it , but in my schedule it felt better to get the dogs , to train the dogs and work on the trains and work on the trains , work on the dogs and wear them out first thing in the morning , so that I knew that the chance of a fight breaking out was much less Right .

And so I shifted it and I got up every morning and for 30 to 45 minutes every single morning , I worked with them one on one . I worked on them to get with them together , and it's just . You know , it was hard , it sucked , it wasn't an easy thing . It also wasn't what I wanted to do .

I don't want to do it , but it was worth doing it because I wanted to make sure that I could control the situation a little bit more than without me training them Right . I paid off for all this training for both of them . So why am I not using it right ? Why am I letting them lay around ?

And , yes , it's winter and there's not a lot going outside and doing all of those things . But I got to make that decision and so I shifted .

And so in Our personal life I believe so many things in our personal life go into our business life , and that is one of the reasons I got the certification that I did I got certified as a transformational life coach and then the what they call the neurogetics framework , and it was important to me because when my clients had something going on , personally , what

kind of advice can I give her that ? I obviously haven't been through every situation that all of my clients have had right , some , I can say , similar experiences , but we forget how much our personal life flows into our business life and if things are sucking the personal life , it's really hard to stay motivated for your , for your business .

Now , I'll never forget when 2020 hit and when we went to hit , when we went into quarantine and the only thing I knew and that's when I was working , already working in saying amount of hours , right , and the only thing I knew to do was put my head down and go to my computer .

That's what I knew , that's how I coped with it and I worked and , matter of fact , the mastermind that I was in at the time , I was like you know what we're going to do . We're just going to do a free summit .

I put a summit together in seven days For business owners , for free , with all of the digital marketing and strategy and beautiful knowledge that I had access to , and I think this goes for our business and our personal life too , but when and I'll never forget that , actually in 2020 my mentor at the time said this she goes when you don't know what to do , do

the next right thing and or serve . And so it was a lot of serving right . It was a lot of pouring into others because I didn't know what to do . None of us had ever been in that situation before right . We had no idea what to expect .

We had no idea how long we were going to be quarantined , but I was at my desk a lot more than I should have been , than I would have been before , but I didn't know what else to do because we weren't supposed to leave our house , at least not for very long .

I did go to the grocery store way more than normal , because before that I loved grocery delivery and picking up my groceries , but I went to the grocery store to get away from my family , because I am a true introvert and I love alone time . I hate the grocery store , but sometimes it was nice and also we were a master .

Nobody knew who I was , so that was also nice . So it was like not like somebody was going to stop and talk to me , because I didn't know who I was .

So , anyhow I digress , but it's like we have so many things personally that bleed into our business and so me getting that certification and I graduated earlier this year was so important , but it was one of the hardest things that I'd ever done and I know I don't want this episode to be about that .

But one of the most beautiful things that I learned about that is that we all have subconscious beliefs . We all have things blocking us , and a lot of times those blocks or those beliefs are because of the emotions that we experienced in that moment .

You know , have you ever heard like two people not getting along and they said there's her story , there's his story , or there's her story and her story , and then there's the truth .

And that's so true because , just like you can have multiple siblings in the same household , the same exact thing happened to them , but they all take it differently , they all receive it differently because of the emotional state that they're each in .

One it may have never faced others , it may have , like , been crucial or so overly traumatic in their life that they're still holding on to that and that's still a subconscious block .

And so I think the one big thing that I learned in that certification was that our feelings and our emotions are going to go into what we do and how we remember things and how we perceive things right , and so of course , again , that is going to bleed into the things we do in our business .

I talk about energy a lot and obviously we talked about energy a lot because the neurogetics is part energy and I told my clients this like if I got a really big , like screaming match with my husband , right , and I tried to come teach personal power or something like a masterclass , like 20 minutes after that happened , probably not even like the same day , right

, I probably couldn't even do the same day . You're going to know something's off with me . Something's just not going to be there and it's going to be really hard for me to be the best version of myself .

And that's true for all of us , right , like a lot of times , we can shrug it off , and we can , and things that are bothering us , we can put it to the side , but it's not the easiest thing to do . It's not the easiest thing to do and many of you may not know my all my clients know but my daughter-in-law is currently going through breast cancer .

We had a very stressful . I even feel bad , saying stressful , because obviously I'm not the one going through it , right , it's her . And we found out she had breast cancer . Then we found out she was pregnant . Then we found out that she had a spot on her lung . Thank God , the lung came back , came back and it wasn't cancer .

And then we obviously she had surgery , there's chemo happening , there's an 18-month-old you know there's so many factors , right , there's so many factors .

And so it was very hard , I would say the end of January , most of February , it was really hard for me to think about my business because , number one , it wasn't a priority , right , and thankfully , thankfully , I don't know , I didn't obviously know any of this at the beginning of January , but I knew I was going to do a four-week intensive .

I wasn't teaching , I was going to answer questions , I was going to be there to support , I was doing one-on-one support for all my program members . I did not sell it outside Again , I had no idea any of this was going to go down . But now I'm like , okay , this makes sense . I mean that I did that .

I don't know why I did it , I just knew that it felt really right , it felt right to pour into my client and then this happens , and then it's been nice to be there to watch now , like every single morning and if I needed to , and be available , but again I can't like just show up in my business and forget that that's going on , and so it's one of those

things that we get to work through right , we get to work through and it's not . It's not really anything I can , there's nothing I can do . I can pray , I can always be there to listen , I can , I can help watch about , I can empty their dishwasher , so it's not on tie like there's a lot of things I can do , but there's a lot of things I can't do .

But I do what I can . And then I realized I love my business , I love my clients and this is the strongest why I've ever had in my life . I'm about to be an empty nester . My daughter's graduating high school this year , there's college to pay for , yay .

And then my family is going through this other situation and it's like if there's ever been a time that I need to Confirm my why or revisit my why , I've never had a why as strong as this , one which shifted right . So this is me coaching myself , which shifted my mindset and everything that I did .

It shifted how I was showing up , because when we first found out the news , it was really hard to show up is really hard to talk about . Anything is hard . It's hard to be happy . It was . You know , there were so many things , it was so many , it was so shocking .

You know she's , she's so young , this , this shouldn't be happening to her , and you know , all of these things came Like so fast , it seemed like , and so , again , I never thought I was going to need a certification for my own personal life . I wanted to help others , but it's also helped my personal life .

Sometimes we don't know the full extent of why we do things . We just feel really pulled to do them and we do them and then it all starts making sense and that is like the most beautiful thing . There were a lot of things going on in my personal life and and friendships and things like that and it none of it matters . None of it matters . I don't care .

None of it matters Because my daughter and my daughter in law and the future new grandchild right and the current grandchild like , and my stepson are all right , like and my stepson are all way more important to me than any other BS that's happening . It just doesn't matter . And I think Shifting your perspective right .

Obviously I'm not happy that this happened and I didn't want this to happen and anything like that but shifting your perspective like , okay , all that BS does not matter , it doesn't matter , it really did never matter . But because there was nothing else trumping it , right it , it . It was the biggest thing going on in your life .

And then it's like , wait a minute , let's , everything is in perspective right now . And sometimes , sometimes you do well , you rarely expect it , right , but it snacks you in the face and you're like , okay , moving on , right , I am here for a reason . I am here to impact business owners , to help , serve and support business owners . That is why I'm here .

Yes , I want them to be seen and heard . Yes , I want them to make a ton of money , but I'm not gonna promise it because I can't and no one can , and also , the FTC comes after you for those kinds of things . But here's the thing I want them to create success and freedom in their life .

And yes , we typically do that by increasing our revenue and helping support our family and all of those can't come into play , but I think that it is so crucial just to shift your why and shift your perspective . The three biggest I think there's three . I might get this wrong .

The three biggest things I learned in 2023 that have stuck with me that I will not forget is number one is this a really big inconvenience or is this the end of the world ? Really easy way to answer that , right . Second one is is this fact or is this a feeling ? Now , it can be fact and we have feelings about it .

But you know what the cool thing is we can shift our feelings . We can absolutely shift them when we decide , when we decide . So , is this a big freaking deal or a big freaking inconvenience , or is it the end of the world ? Great to shift perspective , right . Is this a fact or a feeling ? Again , great to shift perspective .

And the third one is is it a bad day or a bad moment or a bad hour or is it a bad life ? And most of the time , one of those three questions can shift my perspective and get me to where I need to be . It may not happen like in a split second . Sometimes it does and , matter of fact , one of my mentors told this .

She actually made this as a great example and I'm gonna use this as an example too , and I actually I think I talked to my inner circle about this this morning but we think we can't shift our energy and we think we can't shift our motivation and we think we , when we don't feel like doing anything , we can't do anything .

And the example she gave and this is so true unless you are the like the best housekeeper ever , okay , we're just gonna throw that . If you , this is not gonna apply to you if your house is always clean and you're really good at keeping on that . But you guys know , and if you don't know , I hate cleaning my house . I absolutely hate it .

It is the worst thing ever . That don't get me wrong . It's just like working out . I also hate working out . I feel really good after it's done , but to actually look at , I can probably live with dog hair on the floor longer than most people probably can , but it's just who I am right .

So , anyhow , she gave the example If you think you can't shift , somebody texts you says they're coming to your house , they'll be there in 30 minutes . If you were laying on the couch thinking you you're not getting up all day . You can't get up , you can't do anything else and you give a crap about them coming into your house . What are you gonna do ?

You're gonna get up and that's gonna be the cleanest freaking house ever , like you are going to massively clean . This is what I do . I'm gonna show you , tell you exactly what I do . I'm not gonna show you , I'm gonna tell you . So I turn my shark on , which is ? We name the shark that bitch D-A-T-B-I-T-C-H , and it is a he .

And so I turn him on and he starts going . Now , normally , on a normal day , when I turn him on , I go pick up all the dog toys first and then I turn him on .

But no , I turn him on because it's a race , because I don't have time , and I'm going in front of him getting the dog toys because I'm in record speed now , right , so that is the first thing I do Peek and vacuum while I'm picking up the things . So I get all of that picked up .

I pick up everything out of the floor and then I go to the island and then I start cleaning things off the island , like this is exactly right , but this is it .

Picking up the shoes at the front door , like making sure my house smells good , like this is like super charged Chrissy cleaning her house because somebody is coming over that had no idea was coming over and I was putting a lay on my couch Netflixing all day and not doing anything because I just didn't feel like it . And it changes right .

Raise your virtual hand if you feel this and it shifts you into changing maybe not your perspective , but it definitely changes your energy , because even if you don't want to clean , even if you didn't want to do it , you don't feel like a million bucks after it's done . How many people have ever done that ?

And this is just me , this is not even my mentor , who said that this morning but how many people have ever done that ? And then they call me like , hey , I'm gonna come by tomorrow instead and you just spent 30 minutes cleaning your house and you can't even be mad about it , right , because , well , at least the house was clean .

I mean , some people might be mad about it , but I'm not gonna be mad about it . I'm like , dang , maybe people should just fake text me and tell me they're gonna come over so I'll clean my house . That's a strategy , right ? Anyhow , I feel like I'm getting off topic here , but it's just like we can shift , we can shift . Is it factor fiction ?

Is it the end of the freaking world ? Or is it a big effing inconvenience ? Is it a bad day or a bad life ? You always get to decide , you always get to choose . And guess what ? You are the , what is it called ? You are the . Oh my gosh , what's the word ? You are the . Of course , I'm gonna like forget what they , what it's called . Is it the author ?

You're the author . You're the listener . You are something of your thoughts , right . So you hear your thoughts . Guess what ? Shift , pivot them , change them . You don't have to sit there . You have a choice . Every second you have a choice . And also , I believe , you can change your life in a split second .

I could still be down and upset and thinking about how unfair the world is , that my daughter law is going through this .

Or I can do what I can , because you know what , if I can help support them , if I can buy them a meal , if I can help while she's off work , because I am focused on my wife stronger than ever and I can run my business from that place . That right , there is a blessing .

That right , there is a blessing , or I could still be in the why is this happening ? To our family questioning , or I can move . We always have a choice . We always have an option to step into our power and to me , that is the thing I will always try to do . I'm not , first of all , I am not like , I'm not perfect . I have negative thoughts .

I have to check myself consistently , like you know the interview I had or the conversation I had and I talked about at the beginning of this . I have to check myself consistently . You know , I hate this time of year when the time changes . I hate losing an hour because I love losing an hour in the fall , because I can get up earlier .

And I don't know if you follow Taylor Swift , but they had a , they had them . They heard her conversation with her boyfriend , travis Kelsey , and when she flew from Tokyo to see him at the Super Bowl , he goes oh my God , aren't you jet lagged ? And she said jet lag is the choice . I'm just losing an hour .

I didn't lose 15 , right , I didn't lose 15 , 13 , whatever it is , I just lost an hour . So me being tired and complaining about the time change , and I hate this time change and I wish the government would stop doing it and blah , blah , blah . That doesn't serve me Saying I'll make it , I'll make it work , I'll get up If I need to take a nap .

I'll take a nap . Whatever , I'll make it work . That's a choice . Either one is a choice , but the choice for me is to be is to stand in my power and own it and make it work . However that looks , I hope that you had some takeaway that served and supported you .

Besides the fact that Chrissy hates cleaning , probably has a gross dirty house and and her dogs fight . I hope you got a little bit more than that from this episode . I hope it served and supported you in some way . I hope you enjoyed this episode .

I cannot believe we are here at 500 and if you've listened to one episode , if you've listened to five episodes , if you've listened to I can't imagine anybody listened to all 500 , but maybe you have . And if you have , I appreciate you more than you know and I will never take that for granted Because you listened to one , five , 15 , 20 , 500 .

It doesn't matter . I appreciate you more than you know . Thank you so much for listening . This is probably one of my longest episodes and I'm not interviewing someone , but thank you so much for listening to episode 500 . And feel free to reach out to me , and I would love to know what you thought of today's episode .

You can message me at itschristyconner on Instagram , chrissyconner on Facebook , tiktok but I would love to hear what your thoughts were and if you had any takeaways .